1 00:00:01,635 --> 00:00:03,168 Mary: Sports day today! You better fuel up, huh? 2 00:00:03,170 --> 00:00:04,836 Adult mark: Sports day. 3 00:00:04,905 --> 00:00:06,305 The worst day of the year for a wimp - 4 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,306 An all-day gym class. 5 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,576 - I can't eat. The thought of the whole school 6 00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:12,377 Seeing me collapse in a potato sack 7 00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:14,112 Is giving my butterflies caterpillars. 8 00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:16,314 - Oh... Now, don't ya worry, mark. 9 00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:18,149 We don't expect you to win a bunch of ribbons 10 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,785 Like your brother. 11 00:00:19,854 --> 00:00:22,654 We know you're not gonna win anything. Just have fun. 12 00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,523 Adult mark: Such confidence in me. 13 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,024 - Hmm. 14 00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:27,526 Adult mark: I was not athletic but, in fairness, 15 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,127 I didn't have the best teachers. 16 00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:31,196 - No shame in losing, son. [kettle whistles] 17 00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:33,231 Pop: Kettle's boiled. - I got it. 18 00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:34,866 - Mike, luv, I'm sorry, 19 00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:36,335 But I can't give you a driving lesson today. 20 00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:38,903 - What? Why? - [sighs] your father and I 21 00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:41,239 Agreed to volunteer for sports day. 22 00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:43,208 - What? - My driving test is on Monday! 23 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,009 I have no idea how to parallel park! 24 00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:46,678 Somebody has gotta take me! 25 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:50,249 - Uh, I'll take you. - Oh no, that's you won't. 26 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:53,018 You don't have a licence! - I drive all the time. 27 00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:54,553 - You haven't driven since confederation. 28 00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:56,821 - Driving a car's like ridin' a bike! 29 00:00:56,823 --> 00:00:59,925 - Uh, no offense, pop, but... 30 00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:01,359 I think you're too old to drive. 31 00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:03,394 Mary: Oh, sweet jesus, no. [kettle clangs lightly] 32 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,533 - Oh, too old, am I? 33 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,503 Well, you might be surprised to know 34 00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:15,707 That I'm still spry enough to turn the... Whatchamacallit. 35 00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:19,244 The... You know, the round thing with the barmy part. 36 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,045 - The steering wheel? - Yes! 37 00:01:21,082 --> 00:01:23,515 That's exactly what it is! 38 00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:26,952 Steering wheel, yeah. Well, that was a test, 39 00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:30,789 And you, young man, are ready for a lesson. 40 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,190 Mike sr.: [mouthing] no, you can't go. 41 00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:34,459 [fridge items rattle] 42 00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:36,328 - You know what, pop? I don't think I actually need to know 43 00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:38,330 How to park, so uh... You're off the hook. 44 00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:40,632 - Dammit! I'm giving you a lesson! 45 00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:42,700 I'm not too old to drive! 46 00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:45,337 [liquid pours] 47 00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:47,372 Mary: Pop? - What?! 48 00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:49,508 - That's orange juice. 49 00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:52,243 - Yeah. So? 50 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,980 That's what I want. Vitamin c. 51 00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:59,484 It's good for gout. 52 00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:03,889 [sips tea] 53 00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:05,223 Hmm. 54 00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:10,662 Mmm, mmm, mmm-mmm-mmm. Mmm! 55 00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:14,566 Mmm, mmm. 56 00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:16,968 [loud gulp, clears his throat] 57 00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:21,173 Don't you laugh. I'll see you in the car. 58 00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:22,841 Adult mark: I was going to be humiliated 59 00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,976 In front of the whole school, but it could be worse. 60 00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:27,045 Pop: [coughing] jesus christ! 61 00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:28,947 Adult mark: My brother was about to die. 62 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,651 [birds chirp] 63 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:35,120 Adult mark: All the parents came out on sports day. 64 00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:36,854 Many were excited to see their kids, 65 00:02:36,891 --> 00:02:38,523 Who failed the rest of the year, 66 00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:41,626 Redeem themselves with ribbons. 67 00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:44,129 And then there were mine. [car door slams shut] 68 00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:45,597 - Are you sure you both have to come? 69 00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:48,467 - [sighs] we got stuck volunteering, to be honest. 70 00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:51,670 Mrs. Perez is like a vampire. Just 'cause she got bit, 71 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:54,406 She's trying to damn as many souls as she can. 72 00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:56,441 Mrs. Perez: [shouting] did you bring any food? 73 00:02:57,878 --> 00:03:01,312 [whispers] I didn't bring any food. 74 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,749 Fox: Mom? Mom? 75 00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:06,418 - [low groan] 76 00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:08,587 - Aren't you comin'? 77 00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:11,155 - Oh, I can watch ya from here, sure. 78 00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:12,891 - Please? - Ugh... 79 00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:15,027 - All the other parents actually got out of their cars. 80 00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:17,029 - Oh, that's just what I needs now, right? 81 00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:18,963 To be hangin' out with the other parents. 82 00:03:18,965 --> 00:03:20,632 - Mom, come on! 83 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,100 I'm gonna break the school record. 84 00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:24,970 I'm gonna get all gold, I promise! 85 00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:27,639 Woman: Sarah?! - Please? 86 00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:30,642 Woman: Sarah! - Okay! I'm comin'! 87 00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,645 Sister margaret: All right then. Uh... Mrs. Critch, 88 00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:36,582 I have you and mrs. Perez at the refreshments station. 89 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,784 - Ooh... Exciting. 90 00:03:38,786 --> 00:03:41,253 - Mr. Perez, I hear you work at the hospital. 91 00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:42,987 You'll run the first-aid tent. 92 00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:45,724 - Oh no, no, I'm just a technician. 93 00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:48,126 I fix the machines, that's all. 94 00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:50,428 - Hmm. Modesty is a virtue. - Uh, but-- 95 00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:52,697 - Mr. Critch, I'll have you run the pa. 96 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,532 How does that sound? - Ha! 97 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:57,368 Well, I'm more hard news than sports, sister. 98 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,739 Uh, yes, sister. Thank you, sister. 99 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,541 Sorry, sister. 100 00:04:02,543 --> 00:04:04,175 [indistinct chatter] 101 00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:07,211 - Surprised to see you. 102 00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:09,848 Thought for sure you'd get off with so many health conditions. 103 00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,983 - Enh. At least we're in this together. 104 00:04:11,986 --> 00:04:13,818 What shall we lose at first? Long jump? 105 00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:17,088 - Sorry, I got out of it. 106 00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:18,556 - What? 107 00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:20,458 - I'm helping my dad in the first-aid tent. 108 00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:22,327 - [sighs] you gotta get me in there. 109 00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:24,763 - Not without an injury. But don't worry, 110 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,364 I'm sure you'll hurt yourself. 111 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,834 Kids: [indistinct chatter] 112 00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:31,436 - Ooh. I see your mom's here. 113 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:34,072 - Yeah. Why wouldn't she be, dork? 114 00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:36,274 - I was just making small talk. I... Didn't... 115 00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:38,376 She seems lovely. [pa system squawks] 116 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,244 - Mike critch, reporting field-side 117 00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:41,446 At st. Bridget's sports day. 118 00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:44,116 We now go live to sister rose. 119 00:04:44,118 --> 00:04:45,851 [low mic feedback] 120 00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:51,189 - When we think of sport, children, 121 00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:53,324 We must remember the ancient romans 122 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:56,328 Had a sports day too. [bunting flutters] 123 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:59,197 Theirs was held in the colosseum. 124 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:04,202 When they threw st. Ignatius to the lions, he exclaimed, 125 00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:07,706 "I am as grain of the field 126 00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:10,342 And must be ground by the teeth of the lions, 127 00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:13,578 That I may become fit to sit at his table." 128 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:18,083 So, today, have fun on this field. 129 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,854 Win your ribbons. 130 00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:26,558 But when you pin them to your chests, 131 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,960 Remember the rivers of blood 132 00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:30,896 That once flowed from the chests 133 00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:33,198 Of the early christians, 134 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,300 Which stained the sand 135 00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:38,303 Within that roman colosseum. 136 00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:43,041 Father? [mic rustles] 137 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,276 Father handrigan: Let the games begin! 138 00:05:45,346 --> 00:05:48,914 Mr. Byrne: [clears throat] kids: [cheering] 139 00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:51,215 - All right, people, listen up. 140 00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:53,484 Here is how the day will be ranked. 141 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,520 Gold for excellence, 142 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,321 Silver for losers, 143 00:05:57,358 --> 00:06:00,125 And bronze for the also-rans. 144 00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:02,994 And finally, the participation ribbon 145 00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:05,163 Which says you may have showed up, 146 00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:07,666 But you didn't "show up." - I'll take it. 147 00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:10,001 - In 1965, 148 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:13,204 I achieved personal excellence 149 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,942 By winning five gold ribbons. 150 00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:19,277 That is a st. Bridget's record 151 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:22,080 That stands to this very day. 152 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,348 Like me, it is unbreakable. 153 00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:28,019 - I'm gonna break that scumbag's record. 154 00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:30,221 Mr. Byrne: Ready... Break! 155 00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:32,724 [shrill whistle blast, airhorn blares] 156 00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:34,960 Kids: [cheering excitedly, indistinct chatter] 157 00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:36,762 Ritchie: Break a leg. Mark: Hopefully. 158 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,898 [horn blasts] - ah! Horn works, that's good. 159 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:43,702 Oh... No gloves in the glove box. That's bad. 160 00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:46,571 Now, the first thing you're gonna wanna do 161 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,907 Is toggle your gauges, 162 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,242 Adjust your seat, and uh... 163 00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:53,845 You just make sure you've got plenty of room in the ashtray. 164 00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,713 - Okay. Okay, pop, I-I get it, 165 00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:58,082 But are we actually gonna drive? 166 00:06:58,152 --> 00:07:00,218 - Slow down, b'y. We're gettin' there. 167 00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:02,254 - [sighs heavily] pop, we've been here forever. 168 00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:04,355 Please, just get onto the road. 169 00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:07,058 - Look, the key is looking both ways 170 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,760 And then, behind you. 171 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,195 [car idles] 172 00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:12,063 - There's no one behind us! 173 00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:14,198 We are in an empty parking lot! 174 00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:15,934 Please, pop, let me take the wheel. 175 00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:17,068 You're too old to drive. 176 00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:21,072 - All right, all right, cut your whining! 177 00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:24,442 [gearshift clunks, horn blares as car passes] 178 00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:25,911 Jesus! God! 179 00:07:25,913 --> 00:07:28,814 [window rolls down] frig off, ya prick! 180 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,716 [engine rumbles loudly] 181 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,886 Adult mark: Like a cat on a motivational poster, 182 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,754 Fox was hanging in there, 183 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,556 Fuelled with the kind of stubborn 184 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,625 You only get from hating your gym teacher. 185 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:43,628 [stopwatch clicks] - okay. You won. You can let go. 186 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:46,297 That is a gold ribbon. 187 00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:48,366 All right, that is a new school record 188 00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,101 For the arm hang. 189 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,303 For girls. 190 00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:55,373 The boys record is... 30 seconds longer, 191 00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:58,843 And that is a record I hold to this very day. 192 00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:01,112 - What?! I could have beaten that! 193 00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:02,780 You told me to let go! 194 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,317 - Boys and girls have different physical thresholds. 195 00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:07,385 There has to be a natural order, 'kay? 196 00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:10,722 [yells] mark, you're next. 197 00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:13,491 [apparatus thumps, mark inhales sharply] 198 00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:16,127 - [relieved exhale] agh... [stopwatch clicks] 199 00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:19,630 - [chuckles] and mark has set a new boy's record 200 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,468 For shortest arm hang ever! 201 00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:27,338 [mr. Byrne's and kids laugh] 202 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,675 Adult mark: If everyone was going to laugh at me anyway, 203 00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:33,278 I might as well make them laugh on purpose. 204 00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,212 - Your daughter's doing very well! 205 00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:37,549 - Yeah! Oh, she's great at sports. 206 00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:39,317 I mean, not so much everything else, but you know. 207 00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:40,685 Fox: Mom! Did you see? 208 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,387 I got gold! 209 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,022 I would've had the boys record too, 210 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,757 But mr. Byrne stopped the clock on me! 211 00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:48,960 - Don't go showin' everyone up, now. Nobody likes that. 212 00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:50,628 Well, sure, it's just sports. 213 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,697 I just don't want you gettin' a big head on ya, that's all. 214 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,665 - [quietly] no worry of that around her. 215 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,601 Mike sr.: Boys and girls club are selling chippers 216 00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:58,970 And ice cream sandwiches for fifty cents. 217 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,172 - Why don't you go on back out there and I'll be right out. 218 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,140 - No, but-- - go on! 219 00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:07,445 Did you have somethin' to say to me? 220 00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:09,281 - Just gonna offer you a cookie. 221 00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:11,249 - Chocolate chip. Go on! 222 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,884 - They look store bought. 223 00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:15,653 - Gold. Congratulations. 224 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:18,990 - You're goin' down, old man. Suzanne: [laughing] 225 00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:20,692 - Mom! Look! 226 00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:22,927 - [laughs] oh, that's... Stop! Mike sr.: And the grade 8 boys 227 00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:24,796 Are the victors in the tug of war. 228 00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:27,165 Congratulations, boys! 229 00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:30,267 - Hey. I'm gonna have to start calling you klondike. 230 00:09:30,304 --> 00:09:32,336 'cause that's one heck of a gold rush. 231 00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:34,271 Mr. Byrne: All right, bring it in! Bring it in! 232 00:09:34,308 --> 00:09:36,674 - You see, the gold rush was a migration of sorts 233 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,810 Of prospectors to the yukon-- 234 00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:41,045 - Who cares about ribbons, anyways? 235 00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:43,781 Adult mark: I wanted to go after her, 236 00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:47,151 But fox was as interested in me as her mom was in her. 237 00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,687 Fox: Mom! Mary: I think your little one's 238 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,689 Trying to get your attention there. 239 00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:54,058 - Sports, baby! Yeah! 240 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:58,096 Uh... Huh, huh... - My god, 241 00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,498 Some people don't mind their youngsters at all. 242 00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:02,266 Mike sr.: Up next, we have my son, mark, 243 00:10:02,336 --> 00:10:04,568 At the high jump! Just get it over with, son. 244 00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:06,104 It's like ripping off a band-aid. 245 00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,439 [shrill whistle blast] adult mark: I decided to compete 246 00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:09,974 In my own version of the biathlon. 247 00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:13,310 But instead of ski and shoot, I'd run and joke. 248 00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:16,114 Mr. Byrne: Gimme that pole! 249 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,682 - Woo! - Give me that-- 250 00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:19,651 - Yeah! [kids laugh] 251 00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:21,886 Woo! 252 00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,921 [ghostly] ahhh... I'm a ghost! 253 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,757 Woo-ooo! Ooo... I'm a ghost. 254 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:29,327 Boooo... I'm a ghost... 255 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,995 [shrill whistle blast] - oooo... 256 00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:33,064 - You are not funny! 257 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,200 Mike sr.: Attention, students! Due to rain, some of the grass... 258 00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:36,601 - Sin. Tsk, tsk, tsk. 259 00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:38,603 Mike sr.: Nothing will be cancelled... 260 00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:40,805 - That little fella's ruinin' it for everyone, if you ask me. 261 00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:43,641 Not fit, I says. 262 00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:46,244 [indistinct chatter] - 'scuse me. 263 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,379 You are making an arse of yourself. 264 00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:49,881 - So? That's all I'm good for. 265 00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:51,849 I can't do any of this stuff. 266 00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:53,784 - How do you know? You haven't even tried. 267 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,821 - I'm sorry I'm not athletic! I can't change who I am! 268 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,823 - Oh, give it up! 269 00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:01,760 Nobody is mad at you 'cause you suck at sports. 270 00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:04,295 They're mad at ya 'cause you're makin' this all about you! 271 00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:06,297 You could be the worst one on the team and still win, 272 00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:08,132 But if you don't even try, well, then you're just draggin' 273 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,568 Everybody else down with ya! 274 00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:12,237 Hey! [snaps her fingers] 275 00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:15,039 I don't give a flying frig if you win, 276 00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,908 But you are gonna try your best. 277 00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:18,642 And if you don't, 278 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:20,578 Oh, you are gonna win a gold in long distance running 279 00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:24,315 'cause by the jesus, if I catches ya, I'll kill ya! 280 00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:25,983 Smarten up! 281 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,586 Adult mark: Like a mother bird kicking its baby from the nest, 282 00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:30,855 Mom was a fan of tough love. 283 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:33,324 She was right. I was letting everyone down, 284 00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:35,126 Including myself. 285 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,862 [shrill whistle blast] I was going to do it. 286 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,663 I was going to show everyone. 287 00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:42,333 I was going to bring home the gold! 288 00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:47,071 ♪♪♪ 289 00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:49,406 [bar clatters, heavy thud] urgh! Oh! 290 00:11:49,443 --> 00:11:52,143 [grunts] 291 00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:53,911 Ow... 292 00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:57,014 [pole knocks] 293 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,716 - Just, just leave it. Just leave it there. 294 00:11:58,752 --> 00:12:00,384 [pole rattles] just, just... Go on. 295 00:12:00,454 --> 00:12:01,886 Get. Get! 296 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,588 Adult mark: Or maybe a silver would be nice. 297 00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:08,693 T] 298 00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:10,161 Mike sr.: That red-headed girl is in the lead; 299 00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:11,896 Boy-with-glasses is on her heels; 300 00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:14,999 Girl-too-tall-for-her-age is keeping pace, and... 301 00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:17,102 Lastly, my boy is in the rear. 302 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,703 Woman: Woo-hoo! 303 00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:20,237 Man: Hustle! Mary: Come on, mark! 304 00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,173 Parents: [clap and cheer] - I'm here to end you. 305 00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:23,841 - You're welcome to try. 306 00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:25,643 Adult mark: I really tried. 307 00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:27,845 I tried like I'd never tried for anything 308 00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:29,881 In my 12 long years on earth. 309 00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:32,684 - Mark, there's a stack of participations over there. 310 00:12:32,686 --> 00:12:36,120 Maybe grab a couple and save yourself the trouble. 311 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:39,257 Adult mark: But try as I might, I still sucked. 312 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,225 - [breathing hard] [shrill whistle blast] 313 00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:44,462 Mike sr.: And there'll be a fifty-fifty draw. 314 00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:47,665 If you want a ticket, please see sister margaret 315 00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:49,600 By the bathrooms. 316 00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:51,602 [indistinct chatter] 317 00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:56,073 - Hi. - Hi. 318 00:12:57,410 --> 00:13:00,010 - Uh, um... [ice rattles in cooler] 319 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,880 Juice? 320 00:13:07,086 --> 00:13:09,620 All right. [light pats] 321 00:13:13,092 --> 00:13:15,560 I hope this helps. 322 00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:17,829 - [sharp pained inhale] - oh, sorry. 323 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:19,631 Sorry. 324 00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,366 [laughter, indistinct chatter] 325 00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:22,900 - Hey. 326 00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:24,869 Congratulations. 327 00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:26,704 It's pretty cool to see. 328 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,439 You're really gonna break that record. 329 00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:30,141 - Thanks. 330 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,944 [indistinct chatter] kid: All right, come on. 331 00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:36,214 - Glad somebody cares. 332 00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:38,048 How are you holding up? 333 00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:40,784 - Embarrassed, winded, 334 00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:43,521 Hurting inside and out, [sighs] 335 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,591 But I, I kind of, almost, had fun that time. 336 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,792 Mr. Byrne: Mike! Kick it back! 337 00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:50,862 Just kick the thing! 338 00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:55,866 Woman: Keep going! - [hard kick] whoa! 339 00:13:55,868 --> 00:13:57,702 [hard thud] - oh! 340 00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:59,604 - [gasping for air] 341 00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:03,274 - He's fine. Just got the wind knocked out of him, that's all. 342 00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:05,409 Adult mark: Getting the wind knocked out of you 343 00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:08,279 Was one of those injuries that only ever happened in childhood. 344 00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:09,947 Like getting a stitch. Ritchie: Mark! 345 00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:12,416 I knew you'd make it! I'll grab you a soda. 346 00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:14,151 - Uh, don't go! 347 00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:16,420 My leg still hurts. 348 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:19,189 - Oh. Sorry. 349 00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:23,461 Relax. You can give up now. 350 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:26,564 - [sighs heavily] [ice rattles] 351 00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:29,099 Adult mark: My chest was as bruised as my ego, 352 00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:31,969 But I finally had an honourable discharge. 353 00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:35,573 But my mother's glare was colder than any pop can. 354 00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:38,042 I knew what I had to do. 355 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,278 [can rolls in the ice] - hey! 356 00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:43,514 Where ya goin'? - I'm gonna win a ribbon. 357 00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:45,817 [horn blares] - asshole! 358 00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:47,318 What the hell's his problem? 359 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,320 - Pop, you're not even goin' 30. 360 00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:51,289 Please, it's my lesson, just let me drive. 361 00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:54,058 - You think I'm too old to drive, don't ya? Hmm? 362 00:14:54,193 --> 00:14:56,460 Ah, thank god I'm not sharin' a room with you. 363 00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:58,129 Probably wake up in the middle of the night 364 00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:00,331 To find you standing there with a pillow! 365 00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:01,999 - Don't get mad, but... 366 00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:04,001 Your eyesight just isn't what it used to be. 367 00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:06,137 - And what do you know about getting old? 368 00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:07,871 Everybody babying you! 369 00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:09,873 Everyone telling you what you can't do! 370 00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:12,042 - Hey, pop, I, I think you're going too fast. 371 00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:14,512 - You think I like to drive? I hate driving! 372 00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,681 You know what I hate more than bloody well driving? 373 00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:19,483 Is people telling me I can't bloody well drive! 374 00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:21,419 - Pop! You gotta slow down! [police siren wails] 375 00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:24,288 - Oh! Oh shoot! God! Oh my god, the pigs! 376 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:26,223 Oh! What am I gonna do? 377 00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:28,092 - Pull over! - Oh jeez... 378 00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:29,727 [grunts] 379 00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:32,029 [sighs] I'm an old fool. 380 00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:35,099 Now, they're gonna take my licence. 381 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:38,303 I'm too old to drive. [siren wail gets louder] 382 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,904 [siren stops wailing] I'm just too old. 383 00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:44,542 [sighs] dammit! [police door clicks opens] 384 00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,110 [door bangs shut] 385 00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:49,913 - Ah, young mike! 386 00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:51,849 Takin' him out for a few lessons are ya, pat? 387 00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:53,517 - Well, he won't listen to me. 388 00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:56,587 Maybe you'll listen to officer butt, here. 389 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,723 Ah, he's too timid. 390 00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:00,725 Not quite ready for the road. 391 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,460 Bit of a nervous nelly, 392 00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:05,062 Just like his father. [pop and officer butt chuckle] 393 00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:08,198 Oh, damn kids today, they just don't know how to drive. 394 00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:09,933 - That true? 395 00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:13,337 - Yes, officer. 396 00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:15,740 Sorry, I'm just a little nervous is all. 397 00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:17,842 - All right. I'll let you off with a warning. 398 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,043 Stick to the side roads, 399 00:16:19,178 --> 00:16:21,045 And listen to your grandfather! [hard pats] 400 00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:24,515 Both: [chuckling] - yes, sir. 401 00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:27,018 - Um... Well, thanks. I, I, I... 402 00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:29,220 - Hey, don't mention it. 403 00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:32,357 You wanna switch back? - No, no. Uh... 404 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:35,259 I think you're ready. 405 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:38,562 [birds chirp, pop chuckles softly] 406 00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:40,431 - Mom! I tied mr. Byrne for the record, 407 00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,366 But three-legged race is next! 408 00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:44,102 They didn't have that when he went here. 409 00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:46,303 I'm gonna beat him! - It'll all be over then, 410 00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:47,971 Will it? Good. - Uh-- 411 00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:50,774 - I'll bet you got a medal. [laughs] go on! 412 00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:53,511 - How are ya there, paul? 413 00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:56,113 Lisa not here today? Nah, I 'spose not - 414 00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:57,915 Her eight-months pregnant and all. 415 00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:00,284 She's probably at home, right? 416 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,253 Well, you should go watch 417 00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:04,121 Your youngster there now, [button pops] 418 00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:06,490 Or else you might have to watch your back. 419 00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:09,960 [indistinct chatter] 420 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:12,897 Button up, now. [whistle blows in the distance] 421 00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:14,799 [distant laughter and chatter] 422 00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:19,470 I know that I should probably mind my own business, 423 00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:21,906 But for some reason that little girl, 424 00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:24,141 She just thinks the world of you. 425 00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:28,546 And all she wants is for you to... 426 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,448 Show some kind of interest in her. 427 00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:36,353 - You're right. 428 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:39,490 You should mind your own business. 429 00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:41,292 My love, come on now. 430 00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:43,461 Let's go! We don't wanna miss anything! 431 00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:45,129 Adult mark: All eyes were on fox. 432 00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:47,164 This was history in the making. 433 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,499 - [shrill whistle blast] 434 00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:50,968 Last event: Three-legged race. 435 00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:54,438 - I'm gonna beat your ass, old man. 436 00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:56,908 - [chuckles] that's cheating. 437 00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:58,976 We didn't have that in my day. It's not fair. 438 00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:00,845 - You already cheated. 439 00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:02,880 You wouldn't let me go for the boy's record! 440 00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:04,916 - Okay. 441 00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:06,383 You wanna compete with the boys? 442 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,686 Good. 443 00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:10,988 This event will be co-ed. 444 00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:13,257 The winners gets two gold ribbons! 445 00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:15,960 [shrill whistle blast] pair up! 446 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,795 Uh, ritchie and tina. 447 00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:20,330 Gary and avery. 448 00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:22,733 Fox and mark. 449 00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,268 Adult mark: Mr. Byrne was determined 450 00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:26,604 To protect his record with the most devastating tool 451 00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:29,406 Of sabotage he could find... Me. 452 00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:35,346 R.: And now a first-time event 453 00:18:35,481 --> 00:18:37,548 In sports day history at st. Bridget's: 454 00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:39,684 A mixed doubles three-legged race - 455 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:42,486 The ankle twister, the hobbler, the equalizer. 456 00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:44,421 Good luck all! 457 00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:46,290 - Better not wreck this for me. 458 00:18:46,425 --> 00:18:48,626 - Hate to say this, but I'm pretty sure I will. 459 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,361 [shrill whistle blast] 460 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,296 [inspirational music plays] 461 00:18:53,366 --> 00:19:02,640 ♪♪♪ 462 00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,742 Adult mark: Everyone loves an underdog. 463 00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,311 Even our mothers had put aside their differences. 464 00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:09,814 The louder they cheered, the faster I went. 465 00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:13,116 It was as if nothing could stop us. 466 00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:16,020 - [low slow-motion voice] come on! 467 00:19:16,089 --> 00:19:18,956 Adult mark: Then I did. 468 00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:20,892 - [distantly] aggggghhhhhhhhh! 469 00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:23,994 - [low slow-motion voice] oh, for... Noooo! 470 00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:27,698 Come on, fox! 471 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,301 [lawn rustles] 472 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,270 - Oh! Go on without me! 473 00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:35,406 Fox: I can't, idiot! 474 00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:38,776 - [low slow-motion voice] come on! Come on! 475 00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:41,546 [low slow-motion cheering] 476 00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:45,049 Woman: Get off, get off! 477 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:48,019 [fox grunts, whistle blows, cheering and clapping] 478 00:19:48,154 --> 00:19:52,022 - Third place for my boy! A complete shock for everyone! 479 00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:54,157 [cheering and clapping] 480 00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:56,860 - [panting] we won! - We lost, dumbass. 481 00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:58,262 - But... We won third! 482 00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:01,766 - Still got it! All time sports day greatest! 483 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,769 [laughing] the greatest, you hear me?! 484 00:20:05,904 --> 00:20:07,771 Adult mark: Mr. Bryne had peaked in junior high 485 00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:11,308 And he spent decades hanging onto those past glories. 486 00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:12,776 Luckily, that was one record 487 00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:15,379 That fox was not going to break. 488 00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:18,515 That sports day, she won the prize she really wanted. 489 00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:20,918 - Oh... - I'm sorry. 490 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,320 I wasted your time. I didn't break the record. 491 00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:27,258 - I saw all o' that, my ducky, and you were awesome. 492 00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,192 Oh... 493 00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,595 You're always a winner in my books. 494 00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:32,930 Sure, look at all the gold on ya. 495 00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:35,732 You got more gold than mr. T. [chuckles] 496 00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:37,935 - I got my first real ribbon! 497 00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,604 - Third place. - Seriously? 498 00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,473 So, there were only three of you in the race? 499 00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:44,341 - Hey. 500 00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:48,079 [hands clap lightly, light pat] 501 00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:49,880 - So? How was he? 502 00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:51,649 Pop: He almost got a ticket, 503 00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:53,951 But I talked the cop out of it. 504 00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:56,353 - [gruff chuckle] 505 00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:59,156 [light pats] 506 00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:00,858 Adult mark: That day, I learned that you never really lose 507 00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:02,393 Unless you quit, 508 00:21:02,395 --> 00:21:04,428 And that with the right people on your side, 509 00:21:04,563 --> 00:21:07,498 Losing can feel an awful lot like winning. 510 00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:15,840 ♪♪♪ 511 00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:22,847 ♪♪♪ 512 00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:29,920 ♪♪♪ 513 00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:37,461 ♪♪♪