1
00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:02,568
Adult mark: My father and I
didn't play hockey
2
00:00:02,703 --> 00:00:04,470
Or fix cars to bond.
3
00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:06,505
We read the paper.
[papers rustle]
4
00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:08,307
- The old man was his own
search engine.
5
00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:11,176
- Oh, hell of an article here
about the feds. Scissors.
6
00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:13,178
Adult mark: He had stacks
of newspaper clippings
7
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:15,180
That he would reference
to write stories.
8
00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:17,316
I, too, mined the headlines
for fodder.
9
00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:20,318
- [chuckles] hell of a good
joke in this drabble cartoon.
10
00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:22,054
Scissors?
11
00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:25,190
Adult mark: Mom and pop got
the news in a different way.
12
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:29,127
Mary: Oh, jean got a cab
to work today. Hmph!
13
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:31,396
I heard she had a date
with an oil rig worker.
14
00:00:31,398 --> 00:00:33,331
I bet she left her car downtown
last night,
15
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,133
And we all know
what that means.
16
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:37,202
- Hey, mail truck stopped
at the o'connors.
17
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,871
What's the date? 5th?
- Mm...
18
00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:40,472
- It's not the old age pension.
19
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,442
Ah... Welfare cheques are out.
[chuckles]
20
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:45,677
- Poor john o'conner's been
out of work for months.
21
00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:48,547
He says it's his leg,
but you know what I heard?
22
00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:50,816
It's his elbow.
- Hmm. [chuckles]
23
00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:53,518
- Hey, mark, stop playing
with your father.
24
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,620
You need to start practicing
for your school play audition,
25
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:57,556
Hmm?
- Audition?
26
00:00:57,625 --> 00:01:00,526
What play are you doin'?
- It's the easter carol.
27
00:01:00,528 --> 00:01:02,527
It's the story
of the resurrection, told--
28
00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:04,229
- Through the eyes
of the innkeeper
29
00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:06,231
Who catered the last supper.
30
00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:07,966
[laughs] they're still doin'
that.
31
00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:10,436
- You know it?
- Know it? I was in it!
32
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,771
I played hamar, the innkeeper.
33
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,641
My teacher said that
I was spectacular.
34
00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:18,243
- Yeah. You were a spectacle,
you mean.
35
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:21,212
That play was god awful.
[mail thumps]
36
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,482
- What part are you trying
out for, mark?
37
00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:25,050
- Hamar, the innkeeper.
38
00:01:25,052 --> 00:01:27,386
- [loud thud] same part!
[paper thumps lightly]
39
00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:29,321
I could help you
to your run lines.
40
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:32,390
That's what we actors call
rehearsing.
41
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,259
Adult mark: The old man
was interested in me!
42
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,927
This was unprecedented.
43
00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:37,329
- That'd be great.
44
00:01:37,464 --> 00:01:39,865
- Chip off the old block.
[paper flaps]
45
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,466
Pop: Oh, they're not cheques!
46
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:44,536
Oh no, it's a package!
- What?
47
00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:46,805
Now, why on earth would
they be gettin' a package?
48
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:49,807
- Oh, well, mary, make us
a cup o' tea, luv.
49
00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:52,878
Looks like I'll be eating
at the window today.
50
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:56,748
- First thing you gotta know,
acting is pretending.
51
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:59,284
You might hear people say
that acting is listening.
52
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:02,020
Don't listen,
'cause that'll throw you off.
53
00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:04,489
- So, that's a table for
thirteen, no reservation,
54
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:06,558
And you all wanna sit
on one side?
55
00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:09,027
Well, I'll see what I can do,
but I'm, hmph,
56
00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:10,395
I'm no miracle worker!
57
00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:13,298
- Good! Good! Although try it
a little louder!
58
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,634
You really ha' to project
to your audience.
59
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,303
Pretend that there's a deaf old
man in the back of the room.
60
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,105
- What?
- Nothing.
61
00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:23,241
Now, stand with your feet at
quarter to and quarter after
62
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,210
To open yourself up
for your audience.
63
00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:27,078
And it's always a good idea
64
00:02:27,148 --> 00:02:29,715
To address your audience
with a little wave.
65
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:32,651
Say, "hello, audience!"
66
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,721
- Hello, audience!
Goodbye, moron!
67
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:38,724
This play has always sucked.
[footsteps recede]
68
00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:40,992
- Never listen to the critics.
69
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:43,462
Don't mind him.
He's just jealous.
70
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:47,065
We never had a special bond
like you and I have.
71
00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:48,866
- [sighs happily]
72
00:02:48,903 --> 00:02:50,936
- I'm so proud of you, son,
73
00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:52,837
And I know you're not gonna
let me down.
74
00:02:52,907 --> 00:02:55,073
Now, get in position,
75
00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:57,542
Shoulders back,
76
00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:59,544
And... Hello, audience!
77
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,213
- Hello, audience!
78
00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:02,614
- Very good.
- Oh.
79
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:05,116
- Feel the magic in the air?
80
00:03:05,186 --> 00:03:07,219
- Yeah.
- That's show business.
81
00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:09,388
- [exhales sharply,
then chuckles]
82
00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:12,357
- Oh, your timing's off
by a good five years, my luv.
83
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:15,293
Well, yes, I'm sure.
Elizabeth critch died in--
84
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,395
- [panicked] dear god!
Give me that!
85
00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:20,899
Yes, hello? Uh, yes,
this is patrick critch.
86
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:23,301
You were speaking to my wife,
elizabeth.
87
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:26,938
Sadly, her mind has gone.
88
00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:29,675
I know, luv, I know.
It's a very sad situation,
89
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:32,844
But as you can see,
she's very much alive...
90
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:35,213
[cord rattles,
struggling grunts]
91
00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:37,282
And stronger than
she would appear.
92
00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:39,150
Yeah--oh, oh, oh my god!
93
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:41,519
She's wandering towards
the highway, I better go!
94
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,388
[handset clanks with force]
95
00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:46,858
- Nanny is dead.
- [grunts]
96
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:49,394
My darling elizabeth
will always live on
97
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,263
Close to my heart.
98
00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:53,865
More specifically,
her pension will also live on
99
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:56,000
In my bank account,
100
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:59,571
Because I didn't report her
as dead.
101
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:02,607
- Oh my god!
- Oh, what's the big deal?!
102
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,542
The government ha' got
plenty of money.
103
00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:07,479
They didn't notice...
Until recently.
104
00:04:07,614 --> 00:04:10,882
- Is this the first time
the cra has called here?
105
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:13,084
- Yeah-- what do you mean,
today?
106
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,552
- Jesus in the jungle!
107
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,322
You will put an end to this,
108
00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:19,424
Or I will reunite you
with your wife
109
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:22,628
Sooner than you thought!
110
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,429
[footsteps recede]
111
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:28,600
♪♪♪
112
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:30,268
[plastic hockey sticks thwap]
113
00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:32,504
Adult mark: In the gymnatorium,
the nerds and the jocks
114
00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:35,373
Were forced to walk the line
between sports and art,
115
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:38,076
As if they were walking
a tightrope.
116
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:39,778
Which, come to think of it,
[players yell]
117
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,747
Is itself both a sport
and an art.
118
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:44,215
[sticks thwap,
shrill whistle blast]
119
00:04:44,285 --> 00:04:46,451
- Would you kindly keep
your balls to yourself
120
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,186
And away from my stage?
121
00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:51,790
Mr. Byrne: Wha-- your stage?!
This is my gym!
122
00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:53,959
This is st. Brigid's.
123
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,761
Ball hockey is a religion!
- Ugh!
124
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:59,531
- And my b'ys need practice
just as much as your girls -
125
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:02,300
And mark and ritchie.
[shrill whistle blast]
126
00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:05,403
- What part are you trying for?
Hamar? Casca?
127
00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:08,807
- Stage manager!
Or maybe props master.
128
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,743
Is it better to be a manager
or a master?
129
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,514
- It's better to be a star!
130
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,915
You could try for casca
the centurion?
131
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:19,751
It's only one line,
but you'd be onstage
132
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,853
For almost the whole show.
133
00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:23,788
- Nah, you're the actor.
134
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,490
I bet you get the lead;
135
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,025
You can really work a crowd.
- I'm sure there's plenty
136
00:05:28,062 --> 00:05:29,828
Of kids who'll give me a run
for my money...
137
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:32,297
[shrill whistle blast]
but thank you.
138
00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:34,265
[ruler thwaps loudly]
139
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:36,634
- Tina, why don't you
start us off?
140
00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:39,938
[shrill whistle blast,
indistinct chatter]
141
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:45,844
- [quietly] "sorry, centurion.
142
00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:47,445
There are no... Free refills."
143
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,214
[shrill whistle blast]
144
00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:50,648
Adult mark: Oh, tina.
145
00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:53,251
I guess her dad never told her
about the deaf old man.
146
00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:54,920
[shrill whistle blast]
147
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:57,789
This was a lock.
148
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:02,661
- Oh! Anything for me?
- Uh... Let me check.
149
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:04,529
Bills...
[mail rustles]
150
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:07,465
Magazine for mom.
- Mm-hmm.
151
00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:10,334
- And cpp for you and--
- what?!
152
00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:11,836
- Elizabeth critch.
- Give me that!
153
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:13,472
- Grandma?
- What do you read my mail for?
154
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:16,007
That's a federal offense!
- You asked me to.
155
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:18,543
- Aye, well, why aren't you
at school?
156
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,779
Ah, you-- go on with ya
157
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:22,881
Before I rat you out
for being on the pip.
158
00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:25,683
- You're welcome.
159
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,620
- What are you goin' on about?
160
00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:29,421
- Nothing!
161
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:32,891
[marching band music plays]
162
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,160
- What fresh hell is this?
163
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:38,163
♪♪♪
164
00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:39,664
[shrill whistle blast]
165
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:41,566
Lovely, dear.
166
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,502
[shoes squeak,
players grunt and yell]
167
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:46,404
Who's next? Mark.
168
00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:48,539
[piano intro plays]
169
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,843
[players shout, sticks thwap]
170
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:56,514
- Centurion! I recognize
the man you describe!
171
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,717
He's upstairs with a dozen
of his friends.
172
00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:00,185
Cheap bunch.
173
00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:02,520
They ordered one fish, a loaf,
and a jug of water,
174
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,589
And want thirteen different
bills.
175
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:07,124
Go on in!
Get those bums out of here!
176
00:07:07,161 --> 00:07:08,927
Adult mark: And the oscar
goes to...
177
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,394
- It's nice, mark.
178
00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,164
Adult mark: Nice?!
I killed it!
179
00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:13,999
She was probably downplaying it
180
00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:16,835
So the other kids wouldn't feel
totally inferior.
181
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:18,770
[hard whack, ball thuds]
- ow!
182
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:20,505
[everyone laughs]
183
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,842
- That's it! I warned you.
- Ow!
184
00:07:23,911 --> 00:07:26,111
- Your ball is mine now, byrne!
185
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,812
- Hey, I need that to finish
the game!
186
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,881
- And I need more kids
for this play.
187
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:32,217
Whoever shot this ball
is in the play
188
00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:34,653
Or you're not getting your ball
back, sir.
189
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:37,255
- Yeah, sure, sounds fair.
190
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:40,091
Go on, fox.
- No way! I'm the best player!
191
00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:41,626
- Now!
192
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:45,263
[stick clatters]
- you're dead for this, critch.
193
00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:46,764
- You're the one who hit me!
194
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,967
- Come on, up you go.
195
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,468
[players chuckle]
196
00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:52,237
[script rustles]
- move!
197
00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:54,206
[indistinct chatter]
198
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:58,610
[dramatic music plays]
199
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:00,345
- [readying exhale]
200
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,113
[angrily] they're just
poor men!
201
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,781
Why should I have
to serve them?
202
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,583
When do I get a break?!
203
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,451
Someone should serve me!
204
00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:09,153
[dramatic music swells,
then fades]
205
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,456
- [gasps] the intensity!
206
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:12,790
Bravo!
207
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,459
[hands clap lightly]
208
00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:17,229
[stunned laugh]
209
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:18,696
- She's amazing.
210
00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:20,398
- It was a little big.
211
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,366
- What about you, ritchie?
212
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,871
- Oh, rit-ritchie's more
of a props guy.
213
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:29,774
Heart of gold,
but he isn't an actor like me.
214
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:32,110
- Oh, he isn't, is he?
215
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,679
- He's just not cut out
for stage work.
216
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:37,415
He's a behind-the-scenes guy.
217
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:40,117
Heart and soul
of the operation.
218
00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:41,986
- I've made my decision.
219
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,855
Fox will play the innkeeper's
wife
220
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:46,657
And ritchie will be hamar,
the innkeeper.
221
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:49,427
- Me?
- Him?!
222
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:51,029
But he didn't even audition!
223
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,697
- Well, maybe he would have
224
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,832
If you had been more
supportive, mark.
225
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:57,068
Or should I say,
casca the centurion.
226
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,771
- Casca?! But...
He only has one line
227
00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:03,041
And it... It's terrible.
228
00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:04,776
- Well, that will give you
more time
229
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:06,644
To learn a lesson
about humility.
230
00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:10,181
[chair scrapes back]
- so I'm, I'm doing this now?
231
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,784
- Yes.
232
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,721
Adult mark: Humility...
Or humiliation?
233
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:19,057
[rock music plays]
234
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:22,193
♪♪♪
235
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,195
[door clicks open
and bangs shut]
236
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:28,165
- So... [chuckles excitedly]
how'd the auditions go?
237
00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:32,537
- Uh, mm... Okay, I guess.
238
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:34,939
- Better than okay, I hope,
after all that coaching.
239
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:37,943
So, did you get it - hamar?
240
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:43,280
- Actually, [sighs] I...
241
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:47,819
Adult mark: I wanted to be
an actor.
242
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:50,555
- I'm... Yes, I'm... I'm hamar!
243
00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:52,290
- [excited] hamar! Ha-ha!
244
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,425
Adult mark: And after all,
245
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,694
What is an actor
but a glorified liar?
246
00:09:56,829 --> 00:09:59,430
- Like father, like son!
- Hmm.
247
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:01,633
Adult mark: If only
sister margaret
248
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,567
Had seen that performance.
[lunchbox thumps]
249
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,239
O: ♪ anything
is possible ♪
250
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,974
[cars rumble past]
251
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:11,976
♪ I believe it's true
252
00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:14,912
- Mary, look at the way
he carries that plate.
253
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,715
Such authenticity!
254
00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:18,750
I really feel like
I'm in a restaurant.
255
00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:21,385
- Yes, I can see by the way
you expect to be served.
256
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:23,855
- Do I have to go to this play?
- No!
257
00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:26,224
Uh, the arts aren't
for everyone.
258
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,059
In fact, all o' you can skip it
if you want.
259
00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:30,161
- [snorts softly]
- great!
260
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,196
I'm going to the movies.
- You'll do no such thing!
261
00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:34,265
Your brother is starring
in a theatrical production.
262
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:37,535
- Dad, it's really not
that big a deal.
263
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:39,937
- It is to me.
264
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,673
We are all gonna go see
that play,
265
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,741
And I don't wanna hear
another word about it,
266
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:46,377
Understood?
Both: Yes.
267
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:50,148
Radio: ♪ always look on
the bright side ♪
268
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:52,750
♪ and take a happy sound
269
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:55,019
[phone rings,
running footsteps]
270
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:58,289
[handset clatters]
- good day. Critch residence.
271
00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:01,125
[gasps] elizabeth critch?
- Hey.
272
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:04,762
- She can't come to the phone.
She's lying down.
273
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:07,965
One might say...
She's dead to the world.
274
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:10,501
Oh, I see. Yes.
275
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:14,305
Thank you.
[handset clicks]
276
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,508
- [hands tap]
I owe you, mary.
277
00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:18,109
'course, I won't be able
to pay you
278
00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:20,311
Until the next cheque comes.
279
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:21,846
- They wanna talk to her.
280
00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:24,014
- What?!
- That's right.
281
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:27,051
The cra needs to confirm
her identity
282
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,253
And they're gonna call back
tomorrow.
283
00:11:29,388 --> 00:11:31,256
- Sweet jesus!
284
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:33,291
What am I gonna do?
- Oh!
285
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:36,861
Well, I for one,
cannot wait to find out.
286
00:11:36,996 --> 00:11:38,996
[handset rattles roughly]
- ugh.
287
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:41,132
Uh... Uh...
288
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,201
I mean, I... I have an idea,
289
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,870
Because you know how much
elizabeth loved you.
290
00:11:46,005 --> 00:11:47,539
- Yes.
291
00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:50,675
- I mean, she told me many
times you were her favourite.
292
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:53,544
- Mm-hmm.
- I mean, really loved you.
293
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,281
So perhaps... I mean...
294
00:11:57,317 --> 00:12:00,318
I think you'll agree to this,
it would be very simple if...
295
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:03,888
You pretend to be elizabeth.
- Oh, pop!
296
00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:05,623
- Oh, no, no, no.
No, I-I-I-
297
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:07,158
I swear, I swear,
298
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:09,494
I'll report you -
299
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,195
I mean, her dead next week.
300
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,566
You have my word on it.
301
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,970
- Now, ritchie, I hope
you've memorized your lines.
302
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:21,606
You're our little star.
303
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,241
- Don't worry, sister.
304
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:24,909
My dad's been helping me
learn them.
305
00:12:25,044 --> 00:12:27,612
- Oh, he must be very proud.
306
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,914
Adult mark: As ritchie's love
of the stage grew,
307
00:12:30,049 --> 00:12:32,516
Mine faded like
a broken spotlight.
308
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:34,852
Sister margaret: Action!
309
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:37,155
- [woodenly] there you are,
dear wife!
310
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:39,457
How goes it in the party room?
311
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:41,593
- Not great, hamar.
312
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:43,727
They're all sitting on
the same side of the table.
313
00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:47,364
- That table should seat
twenty-four!
314
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,467
We need the space,
315
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:52,136
It's thirsty Thursday!
316
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:54,205
Adult mark: Ritchie was so bad
317
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:55,873
That even sister margaret
was having trouble
318
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:58,142
Believing in the bible.
319
00:12:58,145 --> 00:13:00,311
- So... What'd you think?
320
00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:03,581
- Uh... Very interesting
choices.
321
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,750
I mean, I... I wouldn't make
them myself,
322
00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:07,885
But who cares what everyone
else thinks, right?
323
00:13:09,055 --> 00:13:11,055
- Was it that bad?
324
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,990
[marker squeaks]
325
00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:15,026
Maybe you should
just do it then.
326
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:17,094
Adult mark: Time to steal
the spotlight!
327
00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:19,564
- I guess. I mean, if you told
sister margaret
328
00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:22,033
You really, really
don't wanna be hamar,
329
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:24,302
I... Could do it.
330
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,638
You could still do props!
331
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,239
It's a win-win.
332
00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:29,841
Fox: Sister!
333
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:32,843
Mark's trying to get ritchie
to drop out and do props.
334
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:35,045
- That's a lie!
Adult mark: That was the truth.
335
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:37,248
- Since you seem to be having
trouble learning humility,
336
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:39,884
I'll help you: You're out
of the play altogether.
337
00:13:40,019 --> 00:13:42,753
- Uh, I need to learn that
humility stuff.
338
00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:44,655
Kick me out, too, sister!
339
00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:48,593
- Please, I'll do anything!
340
00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,327
- Okay, you can do the job
341
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:52,196
You're so anxious for ritchie
to do:
342
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:53,931
Props.
343
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:58,469
Now, ritchie,
let's take it from the...
344
00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:00,871
"no shoes, no service"
foot washing scene.
345
00:14:00,873 --> 00:14:02,907
- I like that scene.
346
00:14:04,143 --> 00:14:06,577
- And this time,
don't be afraid to act.
347
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,949
- [woodenly] no shoes,
no service.
348
00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:13,952
Sister margaret: Jesus, mary,
and joseph.
349
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,454
[car rumbles]
mike sr.: Come on, will ya?!
350
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:18,990
The play starts in
half an hour!
351
00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:21,259
What's the hold up?!
- I waiting for a phone call,
352
00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:24,495
But... [sighs] I guess
we'd better go.
353
00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:26,631
- [yelling] mike,
get in the car!
354
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:30,568
[phone rings]
355
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:33,504
[running footsteps]
356
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:35,106
- Name?
- Elizabeth critch.
357
00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:37,241
- Birthday?
- June 29th.
358
00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:39,077
- Really? I wasn't even
in the ballpark.
359
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:42,146
- I don't think I can do this.
- Yes, you can!
360
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:45,116
Nobody better at talking about
other people than you!
361
00:14:45,251 --> 00:14:47,985
You were born for this moment.
[phone continues ringing]
362
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:52,657
[handset rattles]
- hello?
363
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:57,061
[clears throat]
yes, this is elizabeth critch.
364
00:14:57,196 --> 00:14:59,396
Well, of course I'm alive!
Doesn't it sound like it?
365
00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:01,332
- Yes, yes!
366
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:05,803
June 29th, 1908. I remember
like it was yesterday.
367
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:07,204
[giggles lightly]
368
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,407
Oh, don't go telling anyone
[gasps] my age
369
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,675
Because I still get carded
at the liquor store
370
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:14,746
When the light is right.
- [laughs quietly]
371
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:17,348
- Oh! Oh, I'm feeling feverish.
- What?
372
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:20,618
Oh, I'm having... [gasps]
trouble breathing.
373
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:22,286
[gasps for breath]
oh, there's a light
374
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:23,955
And a tunnel - daddy,
is that you?
375
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,556
I am going to the light now,
bye!
376
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:28,292
[handset clangs loudly]
- wha--
377
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:31,495
- I guess that's it.
[phone rings]
378
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:32,964
Hmm?
- Mm...
379
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,833
[handset rattles]
hello? Yes.
380
00:15:35,869 --> 00:15:37,768
This is he.
381
00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:41,706
Oh, my wife, uh... Passed.
382
00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:46,711
So don't send anymore cheques...
383
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,479
Unless... Elizabeth,
are you rallying?
384
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,180
- [hard slap] just--
- no, no, no, um...
385
00:15:50,216 --> 00:15:52,249
Dead as a dodo.
386
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:55,019
Yes, well, have a nice day.
387
00:15:58,157 --> 00:16:00,257
[handset clicks]
388
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,193
Why bother going
to the theatre?
389
00:16:02,328 --> 00:16:04,395
- [laughs]
- I... I mean that was...
390
00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:08,065
The best acting I ever saw
in this town
391
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:10,067
Was that tonight.
- [laughs]
392
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:11,735
- That was brilliant.
393
00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:13,671
[laughs goofily,
horn blasts outside]
394
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,706
Off you go.
395
00:16:15,742 --> 00:16:17,675
- Aww, aren't you coming?
396
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,276
- No. No,
397
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:23,648
I have someone I need to see.
398
00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:27,317
Mm. [chuckles softly,
then sighs]
399
00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:30,721
[door bangs shut]
400
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:33,424
♪♪♪
401
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:35,092
Adult mark: Opening night.
402
00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:36,927
In mere moments,
the curtain would go up
403
00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:38,696
And the spotlight would hit
the stage,
404
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:41,165
Illuminating my lies
to the world.
405
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,434
I had no idea what
my end game was.
406
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:46,370
Mary: Love your dress.
Oh, 'scuse me, 'scuse me.
407
00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:48,305
Mike sr.: Made it.
It's a big night!
408
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:50,274
- Yes, yes. You know,
it's not everyday
409
00:16:50,276 --> 00:16:52,443
That your son is the star.
- [chuckles]
410
00:16:52,578 --> 00:16:54,511
Thank you.
411
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:57,715
[indistinct chatter]
412
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,116
[camera whirs]
413
00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:04,588
- I know you must be nervous.
- No.
414
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:05,956
- I know you're probably
terrified
415
00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:07,091
You'll forget a line.
416
00:17:07,226 --> 00:17:09,227
- Nope. I know 'em all.
417
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:12,196
- I can't imagine what's going
on inside your stomach.
418
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,298
- I'm getting pizza after.
419
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:16,734
Adult mark: It was useless.
He was unflappable.
420
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,536
And as much as I wanted
the part,
421
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:21,806
I wanted ritchie to be happy
even more.
422
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:24,475
- I just wanted to say
I'm sorry.
423
00:17:24,511 --> 00:17:26,610
And I know you'll be
the best hamar ever.
424
00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:29,347
- Thanks.
- You're gonna be great.
425
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,014
Just had a look.
426
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:33,751
There's a load of people
out there.
427
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,119
[sighs heavily]
428
00:17:35,254 --> 00:17:37,755
I guess...
I'll go back to props.
429
00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:41,426
[camera beeps and whirs,
indistinct chatter]
430
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,494
Adult mark: Ritchie had gotten
over his stage fright
431
00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:45,529
And discovered his audience
fright.
432
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:47,331
[stomach rumbles loudly]
433
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,366
[low, indistinct murmurs]
434
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,168
[middle eastern music plays]
435
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:54,105
[audience applauds
and whistles]
436
00:17:56,709 --> 00:17:58,642
- Welcome. Table for one?
437
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:01,412
Gary: Party of thirteen!
Judas is the name.
438
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,614
There's more where
this came from.
439
00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:06,384
[coin clatters]
440
00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,719
[audience titters and murmurs]
441
00:18:09,856 --> 00:18:11,122
Adult mark: I had been jealous
of ritchie
442
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,925
But, in that moment,
I sure did not wanna be him.
443
00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:15,860
[tense music plays]
444
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:23,134
Adult mark: I had been dying
to play hamar,
445
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:25,903
But ritchie was dying on stage.
446
00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:28,172
Fox: I said,
where shall we seat him?
447
00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:31,342
Audience: [indistinct murmurs]
448
00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:33,544
Adult mark: I had to do
something.
449
00:18:33,679 --> 00:18:35,880
- [whispering loudly] ritchie!
450
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:37,748
"do you have a reservation?"
451
00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:42,019
Audience: [indistinct murmurs]
452
00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:44,088
Mark: Ritchie! Ritchie!
453
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:46,957
Ritchie!
"do you have a reservation?"
454
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:51,829
Fox: I said, where shall we
seat him, hamar?
455
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:54,031
[camera whirs,
audience murmurs]
456
00:18:57,703 --> 00:18:59,703
- This isn't how the play goes.
They're making an arse of it.
457
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,973
- Shhh!
- Oh, shush yourself, ya hussy!
458
00:19:02,108 --> 00:19:03,507
- Will you shut it?!
- Oh, stuff it!
459
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:05,242
- Shut your face!
- You're always in the middle.
460
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:06,844
- Oh, please.
461
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,779
Adult mark: My best friend
needed help!
462
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:11,648
I couldn't take it anymore.
463
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:14,451
I had to act. Literally.
464
00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:16,387
- [blows out his breath]
- not so fast!
465
00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:18,922
Stay the hell off my stage!
- Ritchie needs me!
466
00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:20,891
[struggling grunts]
467
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,627
[mark grunts, light thump,
tray clatters]
468
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:25,696
Parent: Where'd he come from?
- Oh my!
469
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,765
[audience murmurs]
[camera whirs]
470
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:30,201
Adult mark: At least nobody was
looking at ritchie anymore.
471
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:32,736
- Hi.
[audience titters]
472
00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:35,005
- [sighs heavily]
473
00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:37,274
- Audience!
Welcome to the show!
474
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:39,610
It is I, casca,
the roman centurion
475
00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:42,079
Who, who... Also picks up
a couple shifts
476
00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:43,748
Here at the restaurant.
[audience laughs]
477
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,216
Adult mark: I wanted to be
a comedian,
478
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:47,585
So why not be a rodeo clown?
479
00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:49,486
- What?!
480
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,088
- Who wants bread?
481
00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:53,624
Adult mark: Some would say I
was stalling to help my friend,
482
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:55,726
Others might say
I was being a ham.
483
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:58,829
Either way, this would be the
first last supper scene ever
484
00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:00,965
With a happy ending.
- Get in here!
485
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:03,234
- Oh... Nice place you got here.
486
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:05,469
Ever think of doin' a...
A theme night?
487
00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:07,071
I guess toga parties would be...
488
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,639
Too on the nose.
[everyone laughs]
489
00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:10,341
Adult mark: These weren't
the lines
490
00:20:10,476 --> 00:20:13,143
I'd practiced with my father,
but he didn't seem to mind.
491
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,912
- Would it!
[audience laughs]
492
00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:16,313
- Get in.
493
00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:18,282
Adult mark: And ritchie,
staying on theme,
494
00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:20,050
He rose again.
495
00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:22,787
- Do you have a reservation?
- Nailed it!
496
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:24,622
[audience laughs and claps]
497
00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:26,857
Adult mark: Life is a lot
like a play.
498
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:30,261
We all play different parts,
depending on who we're with.
499
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:33,064
But there's no pretending
to be someone you're not
500
00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:34,665
Around your family.
- Do you have a reservation?
501
00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:36,300
- [clapping] yeah, bravo!
502
00:20:36,435 --> 00:20:38,336
Bravo! Take a bow!
503
00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:40,337
Adult mark: Dad turned out
to be my biggest fan.
504
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:42,006
- All right, couple o' notes.
505
00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:44,341
Adult mark: And he was the only
audience I ever really wanted.
506
00:20:44,377 --> 00:20:46,477
- If you're gonna take a bow,
you really wanna sweep
507
00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:48,846
The floor with your hand,
like that. Give it a try.
508
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,883
A little lower.
Always get out there,
509
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:55,019
And then just bask.
510
00:20:55,088 --> 00:20:57,688
[heartwarming music plays]
511
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:00,958
Adult mark: But the real actor
in the family
512
00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:02,627
Was the one acting
like he was tougher
513
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:05,029
Than he really was.
514
00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:08,366
- My beautiful girl.
515
00:21:10,236 --> 00:21:17,107
♪♪♪
516
00:21:17,143 --> 00:21:22,379
♪♪♪
517
00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:31,121
♪♪♪
518
00:21:31,157 --> 00:21:38,128
♪♪♪
519
00:21:38,164 --> 00:21:45,069
♪♪♪
520
00:21:45,204 --> 00:21:52,142
♪♪♪