1 00:00:01,369 --> 00:00:03,368 [organ music plays] 2 00:00:03,371 --> 00:00:07,439 ♪♪♪ 3 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:08,840 Sister margaret: Fox! 4 00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:10,375 If you are old enough to get confirmed, 5 00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:12,711 You are old enough to behave in church! 6 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,880 If you embarrass me in front of father moore, 7 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,382 I'll give you a big enough fright 8 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,317 To scare the crap out of a toilet, 9 00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:19,918 Ya saucy little-- - [clears throat] 10 00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:21,453 - Father! 11 00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:23,688 The children are so excited to see you. 12 00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:25,357 - Hmm. 13 00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:27,392 Good morning, boys and girls. 14 00:00:27,395 --> 00:00:29,160 Kids: Good morning, father. 15 00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:31,597 Adult mark: Confirmation. The catholic bar mitzvah. 16 00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:33,599 I was about to become a made man. 17 00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:35,133 Father moore: At baptism, 18 00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:37,669 Your parents made a promise 19 00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:40,205 On your behalf 20 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,740 Because you were just a baby. 21 00:00:42,777 --> 00:00:44,209 - [whispers] you're still a baby. 22 00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,545 Father moore: They gave you a name. 23 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:50,282 And now, you will confirm their promise 24 00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:52,217 And you will choose 25 00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:55,220 Your own confirmation name. 26 00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:57,689 Now, sister, who's doing the reading? 27 00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:59,524 - Mark critch, father. 28 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,294 [chair creaks] mark: [exhales deeply] 29 00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:04,362 [footsteps thud] 30 00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:08,033 [kid yawns, paper rustles] 31 00:01:08,035 --> 00:01:10,735 "jesus said, 'suffer little children 32 00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:15,307 And forbid them not to come unto me: 33 00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:18,877 For such is the kingdom of heaven.'" 34 00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,812 Adult mark: There was no bigger stage than an altar. 35 00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:22,814 Mass was the biggest show in town. 36 00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:24,082 [lights snap on] 37 00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:25,984 Are there any catholics here tonight? 38 00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:28,786 Everyone?! My kinda room! 39 00:01:28,788 --> 00:01:30,422 [cheesy comedy club music plays] 40 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:33,125 The other day this old lady comes into the confessional, 41 00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:35,227 She says, "father forgive me! 42 00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:37,595 When I was young, 43 00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:39,564 I cheated on my husband!" 44 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:43,235 I said, "lady, you confessed that last Sunday." 45 00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:45,304 And she says, "I know. 46 00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:48,006 I just like talking about it!" [kids laugh] 47 00:01:48,142 --> 00:01:49,908 [clapping] thank you! 48 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,343 Adult mark: I was born a catholic, 49 00:01:51,412 --> 00:01:53,445 But I was a practicing narcissist. 50 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:54,713 [lights snap off] 51 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:56,414 [fox giggles] 52 00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:58,483 Father moore lived off fear 53 00:01:58,486 --> 00:02:00,251 Like I lived off tea and bologna. 54 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:02,621 - Is something funny, miss? 55 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:06,425 You don't seem ready to receive the holy spirit. 56 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,494 - I ain't afraid of no ghost. Kids: [giggle] 57 00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:11,196 Sister margaret: Jesus, mary, and joseph! 58 00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:13,097 - When I was their age, 59 00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:15,233 I felt the holy spirit so strongly 60 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,336 That I received my calling. 61 00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:19,638 But perhaps your class 62 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,439 Isn't ready for confirmation, sister. 63 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:24,442 Adult mark: I, too, had a calling - to be a star - 64 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,678 And now I saw an opening to audition 65 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,514 To be the leading man. 66 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,783 - I... Feel something... 67 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,053 Inside. 68 00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:36,488 - Well, hold it! 69 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,423 No one is going to the washroom. 70 00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:41,126 - No. 71 00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:43,962 I... Want to become... 72 00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:48,667 A priest. 73 00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:50,768 [a backing band plays as a gospel choir sings] 74 00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:54,339 ♪♪♪ 75 00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:58,076 ♪♪♪ 76 00:02:58,078 --> 00:03:00,512 Mary: A priest? Mike jr.: Oh! 77 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,247 At least he'll never have to worry about 78 00:03:02,249 --> 00:03:04,349 Breaking the vow of celibacy. - [scandalized gasp] 79 00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:07,286 - Are you cracked? A priest?! With all that's going on?! 80 00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:09,955 - Why? What's going on? 81 00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,157 Adult mark: You can't talk about the '80s in newfoundland 82 00:03:13,194 --> 00:03:15,193 Without talking about the sexual abuse scandal 83 00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:16,828 In the catholic church. 84 00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:18,897 That is, unless you were my parents. 85 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,665 - None of your business. - It's nothing that you... 86 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,300 - Shut up, pop. - Have to worry about, honey. 87 00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,936 - Hmm. 88 00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:26,904 [footsteps approach] 89 00:03:26,941 --> 00:03:28,640 Pop: [sighs] 90 00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:32,177 [cars zoom past outside] 91 00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:35,447 I'm sorry if we were hard on you, but... 92 00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,583 You know, you're a bit young to be signing up 93 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:40,918 With that crowd of sadistic arseholes. 94 00:03:40,955 --> 00:03:42,788 - Nice apology. 95 00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:44,589 I mean, if they're so bad, 96 00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:46,825 Then why do you go to mass every Sunday? 97 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,926 - Can't hurt to play both sides. 98 00:03:48,963 --> 00:03:52,363 As long as you confess, you're golden. 99 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:57,469 Have you chosen your confirmation name yet? 100 00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:59,972 I mean, we've got enough mikes. 101 00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:02,140 - [sighs] patrick. 102 00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:05,043 - [pleased] mm... Really. Hmm. - Not for you. 103 00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:07,112 Patrick is father moore's first name. 104 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,081 He's gonna be my sponsor, 105 00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:11,349 And he said I'd be a fine priest. 106 00:04:11,351 --> 00:04:12,984 - Nice. Hmm. 107 00:04:12,987 --> 00:04:14,953 You know, perhaps we should invite him over, 108 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,888 Get to know him a bit better. 109 00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:19,291 What about tomorrow night for supper? 110 00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:21,693 - Really? - Yeah, absolutely. 111 00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:25,631 Oh, I'd love to say a few words to father moore - ha! - 112 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,732 Believe you me. 113 00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:30,568 - Um, why don't you come on down and join me, 114 00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:32,504 Say a prayer for nanny? 115 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:34,840 - Oh, uh, I'd rather just sit here 116 00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:36,174 'cause I've got bad knees, 117 00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:39,711 But hey, I'll say one for her 118 00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:41,513 And I'll say one for you. 119 00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:43,714 - Hmm. - Hmm? 120 00:04:43,716 --> 00:04:46,585 Mark: Dear lord, please keep my nanny safe, 121 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:48,253 Forever and always. 122 00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:50,122 [organ and choral music plays] 123 00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:55,259 ♪♪♪ 124 00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:57,895 [chip bag rustles] 125 00:05:00,034 --> 00:05:01,667 [chip bag rips open] 126 00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:04,469 - What's with the "exorcist" get up? 127 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,270 - Mark is preparing himself. 128 00:05:06,307 --> 00:05:08,140 He signed us up to be altar boys. 129 00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:10,475 He would've asked you too, but, you know... 130 00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:12,410 Boys. 131 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,145 [chip bag rustles violently] 132 00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,014 Hey! My chips! 133 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:19,283 - "let he who is without sin, cast the first stone." 134 00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:22,920 Students: [indistinct chatter] kid: Wait up! 135 00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:26,525 Adult mark: The whole house went into a priestly panic 136 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:29,194 As mom and dad cruxi-fixed the place up. 137 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,131 [radio clicks on] 138 00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:34,499 Mike sr.: Formal charges were laid today 139 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,300 Against clergy in st. John's. 140 00:05:36,337 --> 00:05:37,702 A lawyer, speaking on behalf of the vic-- 141 00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:40,105 [radio clicks off] - of all the jeezly times 142 00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:42,306 To have a bloody priest poking around. 143 00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:43,975 [cupboard items rustle, door thumps shut] 144 00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:45,777 And you better not start, tonight! 145 00:05:45,813 --> 00:05:47,412 This is about mark. 146 00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:50,815 - I don't start things, I finish 'em. 147 00:05:53,553 --> 00:05:55,120 [crunching, hanger clatters] 148 00:05:55,189 --> 00:05:56,654 [wardrobe door thumps shut] 149 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,790 - What are you doing? - I'm hungry. 150 00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:00,525 Fox stole my chips. 151 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,994 - That's the body of christ! - No, it's not. 152 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:06,198 It's just bread until the priest blesses it. 153 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,267 - There! - You're not a priest. 154 00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:11,002 - They don't even have a taste. 155 00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:13,638 - Yes, they do. They taste like... Paper. 156 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,008 Adult mark: Snacking on a sacrament was a big sin, 157 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:19,277 But like adam with the apple, 158 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,079 I was tempted. 159 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,514 [slow crunch] 160 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,550 - Good, right? Ha! - Mmm. 161 00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:29,788 [footsteps approach, solemn organ music plays] 162 00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:31,690 Mmm! - [clears throat] 163 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:37,696 Before your first mass as altar boys, 164 00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:39,965 You'll have to give confession, of course. 165 00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,366 [church bell tolls] adult mark: Confession! 166 00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:43,835 I couldn't tell if he had seen us, 167 00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:47,305 But I knew there was only one thing to do. 168 00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:48,707 Lie! 169 00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:53,178 Les back] 170 00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:54,579 Adult mark: The confessional. 171 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,514 God's little interrogation room. 172 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,784 - Forgive me father, for I have sinned. 173 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,118 It has been two weeks since my last confession. 174 00:07:01,155 --> 00:07:02,921 - Go ahead, child. Confess. 175 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:05,423 Adult mark: I couldn't bring myself to confess my own sins 176 00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:06,925 So I flipped on my family 177 00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:09,327 Like a mobster turned fbi informant. 178 00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:12,063 - Pop swears all the time. Like, a lot. 179 00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:14,532 And I'm pretty sure my brother has reefer in his room. 180 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:17,869 Um, mom gossips - terrible habit, and dad-- 181 00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:19,804 - Let's focus on your sins. 182 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,207 Did someone tempt you to sin today, mark? 183 00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:24,175 Adult mark: I chose to walk in the footsteps 184 00:07:24,178 --> 00:07:26,211 Of one of the most famous christians ever... 185 00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:27,679 - Well... 186 00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:30,015 Adult mark: Judas. 187 00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:31,817 [door clicks open, kids murmur nervously] 188 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,584 [door thumps shut] 189 00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:36,755 - [whispering] you didn't tell him, did you? 190 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,090 Did he see us eat them? 191 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:41,226 [door clicks open] father moore: Ritchie? 192 00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:44,663 - [whispers] does he know? - Ritchie? Now! 193 00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:47,065 [organ music plays, kid: I'm so scared. 194 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,100 [confessional door slams shut] mark: [whimpers] 195 00:07:50,471 --> 00:07:53,171 Father moore: Bless us, o lord and these thy gifts, 196 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,439 Which we are about to receive from thy bounty 197 00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:57,309 Through christ, our lord. 198 00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,177 All: Amen. 199 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,846 - Bread, father? 200 00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:04,382 - I believe I hear you on the radio 201 00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:06,785 More than I see you in church, mr. Critch. 202 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,120 - Oh, he works Sunday's, father. 203 00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:11,422 No rest for the wicked. - Hmm. 204 00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:13,859 - Pure! No rest for the pure. 205 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,160 Uh... Beets? Pickles? - No. 206 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:20,265 I've taken an interest in mark. 207 00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:22,800 It's rare to find a boy of his... 208 00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:25,203 Faith these days. 209 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,005 People are... 210 00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:29,407 Turning away from the church. 211 00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:32,944 - Well, I think we all know why that is, father. 212 00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:35,447 Adult mark: I was oblivious to the elephant in the room, 213 00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:37,215 Even though pop had hopped up on its back 214 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,117 And was tickling its ears. 215 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:42,554 - The devil can work in mysterious ways, too. 216 00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:45,690 I wouldn't believe everything you hear on the radio. 217 00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:49,628 Good people, their names slandered. 218 00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:52,831 - We haven't named any of the accused, father. 219 00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:55,700 - Well, perhaps you should mention some names. 220 00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,969 The names of the accusers. 221 00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:59,904 - I believe the word you're looking for 222 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,773 Is "victims," father. 223 00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:07,645 - [awkwardly] uh... 224 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:12,817 What's your favourite bible passage, mark? 225 00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:15,553 - Oh, the one from my reading. - Oh yeah. 226 00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:16,955 - "suffer little children 227 00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:19,057 And forbid them not, to come unto me." 228 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,993 Pop: Ah. "suffer little children." 229 00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:24,996 Now that should be right up your alley, father. 230 00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,900 - Dessert! [laughs nervously] 231 00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:32,036 Would you like a flakey? - Ugh. 232 00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:34,505 - You know... I'm losing my appetite. 233 00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:35,974 - And you? 234 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,043 Hmm? - Uh... 235 00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:42,280 Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. 236 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:44,149 Take a man fishing 237 00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:46,717 And he will eat... Later. 238 00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,854 - Uh-huh. Ha. 239 00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,290 - What's yours, father? 240 00:09:53,327 --> 00:09:55,726 - Matthew 7, 1-5. 241 00:09:57,297 --> 00:10:00,064 "judge not, that you be not judged." 242 00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:04,302 - Do you know what mine is, father? 243 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,470 Luke 12:2. 244 00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:11,275 "nothing is covered up, that shall not be revealed; 245 00:10:11,345 --> 00:10:14,745 Or hidden, that will not be known." 246 00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:18,516 Chew on that one, padre. 247 00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:20,117 Adult mark: I was too young to know any better. 248 00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,854 Pop, on the other hand, was too old to give a flying fu-- 249 00:10:22,989 --> 00:10:24,856 - Fudgee-o? 250 00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:26,724 - I believe I've had enough. 251 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,795 Thank you for the meal. It was... Ample. 252 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:35,933 - I'll see you out, father. - Thank you, mark. 253 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,202 Mike sr.: [sighs heavily] mary: Ugh! 254 00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:41,505 [door clicks open] - sweet jesus. 255 00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:44,376 - Ugh! I've got the shivers. It's like dracula was in here. 256 00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:46,678 - What a prick! God forgive me. 257 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:49,280 - You couldn't do this one thing for me! 258 00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:54,052 - Mark, there's a lot you don't understand. 259 00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:55,887 - Then tell me! 260 00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:00,058 - [sighs heavily] 261 00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:02,994 [a violin lament plays] 262 00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:06,397 ♪♪♪ 263 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,500 - [disappointed exhale] 264 00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:09,967 [whimpers] oh... 265 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:13,104 [footsteps recede, bedroom door bangs shut] 266 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,507 - The boy is old enough. 267 00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:22,313 ♪♪♪ 268 00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:24,782 Adult mark: Newfoundlanders are used to storms, 269 00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,784 But over the next few days 270 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,853 It felt like the darkest clouds we'd ever seen 271 00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:31,189 Were rolling in over us. 272 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,023 - Attention, please, children! 273 00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,726 Uh... 274 00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:37,795 I'm sure you've been hearing some rumours about the church. 275 00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:39,931 You must have a lot of questions. 276 00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:42,066 Adult mark: Finally, a ray of light! 277 00:11:42,068 --> 00:11:43,634 - Well, you better not ask them! 278 00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,569 It's none of your business! 279 00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:47,138 Adult mark: Followed by showers. 280 00:11:47,174 --> 00:11:49,540 - On an unrelated note, 281 00:11:49,576 --> 00:11:52,210 Father moore is no longer with us. 282 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,811 Kid: [gasps] - [shocked] what?! 283 00:11:53,946 --> 00:11:56,081 - It's going to be okay. You see, children, 284 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,149 Father moore has... 285 00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:01,318 - [clears throat] been transferred overseas. 286 00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,688 I've been asked to introduce his replacement, 287 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,357 Father garcia. 288 00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:07,826 Adult mark: I had lost my mentor, 289 00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:10,294 But I was sure his replacement would be just as-- 290 00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:11,930 - Hey, kids! 291 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:15,866 My name is father garcia, but you can call me gary. 292 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:18,402 - Uh, and that you most certainly will not-- 293 00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:20,404 - Look, collar in the corner, 294 00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:24,075 Ain't nothing special about a priest, okay? 295 00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:25,676 I'm no different from uh... 296 00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:27,511 [snaps fingers] hey, what's your name, buddy? 297 00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:28,813 - Ritchie. 298 00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:30,948 - Ritchie. Cool! 299 00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:33,952 Heck, I wish I was as cool as ritchie over here! [high-five] 300 00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:36,120 What's your confirmation name, bro? 301 00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:37,989 - Romeo. Like my uncle. 302 00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:41,058 - Whoa! Loverboy over here. [chuckles] 303 00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:43,061 How about you, buddy? 304 00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,230 - Patrick. Kid: [clears throat] 305 00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:47,231 - It's mark, right? 306 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,400 I hear you like comedy. 307 00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:52,070 Well, did you know that there was a saint hilarious? 308 00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:54,371 - It's patrick. 309 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,141 - I see. Okay. 310 00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:58,943 Um... Sister? 311 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,778 [exhales heavily] 312 00:13:00,814 --> 00:13:03,681 Ya ever listen to music backwards 313 00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:06,050 To hear hidden satanic messages? 314 00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:10,087 Oh! Over there. [chuckles] - um... 315 00:13:10,089 --> 00:13:13,424 - Well, sometimes I like to listen to music forwards 316 00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:16,961 To hear hidden christian messages. 317 00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:19,430 One, two, three and... (starts playing the guitar) 318 00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:23,567 ♪ goin' up to the spirit in the sky ♪ 319 00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:27,571 ♪ that's where I'm gonna go when I die ♪ 320 00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:30,741 ♪ when I die and they lay me to rest ♪ 321 00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:34,445 ♪ I'm gonna go to the place that's the best ♪ 322 00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:37,248 - ♪ spirit in the skyyyy! [kids clap to the rhythm] 323 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,950 Adult mark: I was being upstaged! 324 00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:40,985 I felt the holy spirit leave me 325 00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:43,254 As if I'd just popped a spiritual zit. 326 00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:44,955 God was dead. 327 00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:48,525 - ♪ I'm gonna go to the place that's the best ♪ 328 00:13:48,562 --> 00:13:50,628 - ♪ spirit in the skyyyy! 329 00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:56,066 N before confirmation. 330 00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:58,269 Get it all out now - 331 00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:00,271 Your lies, your thefts, 332 00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:02,540 Your disgusting urges. 333 00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,475 Vomit up the darkness. 334 00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:06,077 Pop in! 335 00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:08,947 - Actually, sister, um, I'm all about talking to god, 336 00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:11,482 I just don't like hiding in a box to do it. 337 00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:15,219 So, kids, we're gonna rap face-to-face... 338 00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:17,688 Right over here. Come on. 339 00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:20,291 - The arse is out of 'er. 340 00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:22,093 - Hey, mark? 341 00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:27,598 [kids whisper and murmur] 342 00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:33,304 - Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. 343 00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:35,172 It has been one day since my last confession. 344 00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:37,375 - Whoa, mark. 345 00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:40,244 Can't be anything worth confessing, buddy. 346 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:43,314 Um... I guess I'm your sponsor now, huh? 347 00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:45,816 What do you think about that? 348 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,387 All right, okay, I get it. 349 00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:51,723 Strong, silent type. 350 00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:53,591 Well, go in peace. 351 00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,228 - What's my penance? 352 00:14:57,363 --> 00:14:59,430 - You didn't sin. 353 00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,133 Adult mark: No penance? 354 00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:03,935 What's the point of being catholic 355 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,004 If there isn't any guilt? 356 00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:08,105 - Mark? I'd like to meet your parents. 357 00:15:08,174 --> 00:15:10,208 You know, sponsor and all. 358 00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:12,543 I'll stop by after school. 359 00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:14,678 [kid yawns nearby] next? 360 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,883 Casanova. 361 00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:20,150 [upbeat music plays] 362 00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:22,186 [magazines rustle] 363 00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:24,822 ♪♪♪ 364 00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:27,225 - Thank you for the wine, father. You shouldn't have. 365 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,128 Pop: Well, we don't even have a corkscrew. 366 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:33,331 - Um, father, have you been a priest for long? 367 00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,332 - Uh, five years. 368 00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:37,502 Uh, I was trying to find myself, 369 00:15:37,504 --> 00:15:41,572 And then I ended up in antigua with a girl I was dating. 370 00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:43,207 - Oh! 371 00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:45,342 - Wha... A priest can't date. 372 00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:48,112 - Well, I wasn't a priest at the time. 373 00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:49,914 And when she dumped me, 374 00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:52,984 That's when I found the lord and the rest is history. 375 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:55,786 - Oh. So, jesus is your rebound? 376 00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,955 - Mike! - [laughing] that's good! 377 00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:00,891 - No, he's right. [laughs] 378 00:16:00,927 --> 00:16:04,795 I, uh, cried myself to sleep in his arms every night. 379 00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:08,899 So, uh, mr. Critch-- - mm-hmm. 380 00:16:10,069 --> 00:16:12,403 - I understand you work at the radio station? 381 00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,638 Is that correct? - Oh, here we go! 382 00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:18,509 - I won't have it, father! I'm sorry, mark, 383 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,277 But I won't let anyone, not even a priest, 384 00:16:20,347 --> 00:16:23,014 Tell me what I can or can't say on air. 385 00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:24,549 - Hear, hear. 386 00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:26,351 - Oh, I'm-I'm so sorry. 387 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,552 I... I just wanted to give you this. 388 00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:33,858 - Hmm? - Um... 389 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,561 I write and record my own pop songs, 390 00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:38,563 And I was just wondering 391 00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:41,098 If you could give it to a dj is all. 392 00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,567 - Uh... I, I'll see what I can do. 393 00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,236 I, I could give it to dick dunphy. 394 00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,872 I mean, I-I-I can't promise anything, but uh... 395 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,375 - You would do that? - Yeah, sure. 396 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:53,478 - That's awesome. Thank you! 397 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,313 You rock! - [chuckles] 398 00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:57,381 - That's great! - [chuckles] 399 00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:01,319 [pop chuckles, mike sr. Sighs heavily] 400 00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:04,522 [awkward silence, father garcia sighs] 401 00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:08,793 - Does anyone have any questions about um... 402 00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:13,664 Everything that's going on? 403 00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:16,334 'cause, you know, we could talk about it. 404 00:17:19,138 --> 00:17:20,637 Pop: I don't think it's a conversation 405 00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:22,573 For the dinner table, father. 406 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:24,741 - Oh, well... 407 00:17:24,778 --> 00:17:27,211 - Can someone tell me what's going on? 408 00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:30,548 For the love of god! 409 00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:36,920 - Shall I put on the kettle? 410 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,427 - You don't have to stay for this, father. 411 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,562 - I-I would like to, if it's okay? 412 00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:55,973 ♪♪♪ 413 00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:59,243 - Uh... There's an orphanage 414 00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:02,646 And it's run by the church for... 415 00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,650 It's been run there by them for a long time. 416 00:18:05,652 --> 00:18:07,785 Adult mark: The skies were clearing, 417 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,521 But nothing would ever really be the same again. 418 00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:14,792 There's a thin line between a secret and a lie. 419 00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:18,996 ♪♪♪ 420 00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:21,298 - I don't think I believe anymore. 421 00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:24,235 - Santa claus? 422 00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:27,238 - I'm being serious. 423 00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:30,341 - [chuckles] yes, a bit too serious, if you ask me, 424 00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:32,543 For such a young boy. 425 00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:34,946 Agh. 426 00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:38,148 You never wanted to be a priest. 427 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:41,619 - Yeah, I did! I... 428 00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:45,089 I wanted to give sermons. I wanted to be respected. I-- 429 00:18:45,091 --> 00:18:47,491 Pop: I think you should be an optometrist. 430 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,195 - Why? 431 00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:54,064 - You're always saying, "I, I, I." 432 00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:58,369 Look. There are better ways to help people 433 00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:01,505 Than scare the crap out of them in a collar. 434 00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:04,341 - Pop? 435 00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,044 - Yeah? 436 00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:08,112 - Hm. 437 00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:10,781 Would you be my confirmation sponsor? 438 00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:20,357 - [emotional] yeah. 439 00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:26,063 I'd be mighty proud. 440 00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:27,665 Mighty proud. 441 00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:32,203 - Okay. 442 00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:34,038 [light clicks off] 443 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,472 Night. 444 00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:38,609 - Goodnight. 445 00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:40,544 [poignant music plays] 446 00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:46,050 ♪♪♪ 447 00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:49,153 - "but jesus said, 'suffer little children 448 00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:52,156 And forbid them not to come unto me: 449 00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:55,092 For such is the kingdom of heaven.'" 450 00:19:56,262 --> 00:19:58,061 Adult mark: When I first heard those words 451 00:19:58,097 --> 00:20:00,030 I pictured children suffering. 452 00:20:00,165 --> 00:20:02,567 But now, after that dark year, 453 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,836 I see it as, "let the children ask their questions." 454 00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:08,639 - Some job. [chuckles] 455 00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:10,774 Adult mark: I would have a lot of them in the coming days, 456 00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:12,677 Months and years. 457 00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:14,345 [zippo lighter snicks] 458 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,480 I may have lost some faith in others, 459 00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:19,250 But I was starting to have some faith in myself. 460 00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:21,418 [organ music plays] 461 00:20:24,523 --> 00:20:28,459 - ♪ when I die and they lay me to rest ♪ 462 00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:31,862 ♪ gonna go to the place that's the best... ♪ 463 00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:33,297 - Oh, yeah. 464 00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:35,933 - ♪ when I lay me down to die ♪ 465 00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:39,269 ♪ goin' up to the spirit in the sky ♪ 466 00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:41,205 [clapping] - ♪ spirit in the sky 467 00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:44,174 - ♪ that's where I'm gonna go when I die ♪ 468 00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:45,542 - ♪ when I die 469 00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:48,613 - ♪ when I die and they lay me to rest ♪ 470 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:52,483 ♪ I'm gonna go to the place that's the best ♪ 471 00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:54,618 - [laughing] - ♪ spirit in the sky 472 00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:57,488 ♪ it's where I'm gonna go when I die ♪ 473 00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:59,156 - ♪ when I die... 474 00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:01,892 - ♪ when I die and they lay me to rest ♪ 475 00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:05,229 ♪ I'm gonna go to the place that's the best ♪ 476 00:21:05,364 --> 00:21:06,964 - ♪ spirit in the sky! 477 00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:15,105 ♪♪♪ 478 00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:22,179 ♪♪♪ 479 00:21:22,181 --> 00:21:29,186 ♪♪♪ 480 00:21:29,188 --> 00:21:36,093 ♪♪♪