1 00:00:01,101 --> 00:00:02,033 [lively jazz music] 2 00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:03,569 - Adult mark (vo): Families on tv 3 00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:05,170 Eat at the table. 4 00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:06,638 - Supper! 5 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,673 - I usually ate in front of the tv 6 00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:10,875 Watching those families on tv eat. 7 00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:13,111 - Here. - What is it? 8 00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:14,612 - Food. Eat it! 9 00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,148 - Dad liked to eat at the kitchen table 10 00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:19,117 So he wouldn't miss himself on the radio. 11 00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:20,986 - Eat this now while it's hot. 12 00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:24,122 - Be quiet, will ya? I can't hear myself speak. 13 00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:26,658 - Mike preferred to eat in his room alone 14 00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:29,060 Like a wounded wild animal hiding from predators. 15 00:00:29,096 --> 00:00:31,830 - Mom, get out of my room! And knock first! 16 00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:33,532 - I don't want to know what you're doing in here, 17 00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:35,200 Believe me. 18 00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:36,668 [rock music] 19 00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:39,104 - Pop rarely made it to suppertime. 20 00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,672 [pop groans] 21 00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:44,109 My mother never stopped moving long enough to eat anything. 22 00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:45,744 Food was for survival 23 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,846 And not something meant to be enjoyed. 24 00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:49,681 [mumbling] 25 00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:51,483 - What's wrong, mike, are you choking? 26 00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:53,151 - Pop: Choking on what? 27 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:55,087 That food was boiled to death. 28 00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:56,488 Ask him if he's drowning. 29 00:00:57,424 --> 00:00:59,258 - Will you turn on the news? 30 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,192 The cucumbers! The cucumbers are ready! 31 00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,731 - After 500 years of cod fish, 32 00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:08,867 The government felt it was time to modernize their economy. 33 00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:10,702 And nothing says modern like... 34 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,137 - Tv reporter: Cucumbers. 35 00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:14,206 That's right, cucumbers. 36 00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:16,041 Premier peckford announced today 37 00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:18,243 That the government-funded sprung greenhouse 38 00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:19,845 Has produced the province's first batch 39 00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:21,513 Of hydroponically-grown cucumbers. 40 00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:24,215 Thanks to new technology, they can now take a cucumber 41 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:27,085 From seedling to grocery aisle in just six days. 42 00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:29,521 The premier says it's the start of the green economy 43 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:32,491 And that $22 million is a small price to pay 44 00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,159 For prosperity. 45 00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:36,461 - News anchor: That's our own melissa stoke-- 46 00:01:36,464 --> 00:01:37,930 - Remember this day. 47 00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:39,598 The day newfoundland turned the corner. 48 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,334 We are officially a cucumber province. 49 00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:43,802 - Are you cracked? 50 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,337 Nobody here likes cucumbers. 51 00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:46,505 - I do. 52 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,640 That greenhouse is buying advertising time 53 00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:50,775 On the station so, from now on, 54 00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:53,078 This is a cucumber house! 55 00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:55,280 - You can't grow anything here. 56 00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:57,549 Newfoundland is a rock. 57 00:01:57,585 --> 00:02:00,085 The soil is as deep and fertile 58 00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:02,154 As that stuff in a cat's litter box. 59 00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:03,421 - What's a cucumber? 60 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,357 - It's a fruit. - It's a vegetable. 61 00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:07,425 - It's a dry pickle. 62 00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:09,294 - They'll never catch on. 63 00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,563 I get my greens second-hand. 64 00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:13,231 Rabbit eats the lettuce. 65 00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,633 I eat the rabbit. 66 00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:17,402 - Imagine all the things you could grow hydroponically. 67 00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,037 Non-traditional crops. 68 00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:21,106 - This wasn't really news to my brother 69 00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:22,907 Who had already been experimenting 70 00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:24,509 With his own non-traditional crops. 71 00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:25,911 [psychedelic music] 72 00:02:26,914 --> 00:02:28,714 - Imagine the spin-off industries: 73 00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:30,916 Cucumber salads, pickles, 74 00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:34,986 Some hollywood starlets even put cucumber slices on their eyes! 75 00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:38,122 - You think you're going to sell cucumbers to californians? 76 00:02:38,159 --> 00:02:40,058 That's like them selling us fog. 77 00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:42,060 - We could ship them frozen. 78 00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:44,129 I-I prefer my vegetables that way 79 00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:45,664 Like peas or french fries. 80 00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:48,266 - Well, you can worry about things you're never gonna eat 81 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:51,403 After you eat what you got on your bloody plates. 82 00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:52,837 ♪♪ 83 00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,473 [pop groans] 84 00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,812 - The next day, cucumber-mania was rampant at school. 85 00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:02,147 - Did you know 86 00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:04,750 That cucumbers are 95% water? 87 00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:06,952 - Nobody here eats cucumbers, sister. 88 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:08,353 - Well, I will have you know, 89 00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:09,821 On average, 90 00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:13,091 A newfoundlander eats a half a cucumber every year. 91 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,827 That's about 250,000 cucumbers. 92 00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,831 - And how much is a cucumber at the supermarket now? 93 00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:21,700 - Well, I don't buy them myself 94 00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:23,902 But it says here that they cost 95 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,437 50 cents. 96 00:03:25,572 --> 00:03:29,641 - And how much does one of them freak cucumbers cost to grow? 97 00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:31,577 - Uh, $27.50. 98 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,646 Oh, well, that can't be right. 99 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,715 That doesn't make any sense at all. 100 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,116 [school bell] 101 00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:39,550 Oh, god. 102 00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:43,321 [light chatter] 103 00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:50,061 - I got ketchup chips. What'd you get? 104 00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,195 - Dill pickle. 105 00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:52,764 - You mean cucumber now. 106 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,532 [chuckles] 107 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,301 - Paula: Attention, please! 108 00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,403 As many of you are aware, 109 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,438 I'm about to become a teenager. 110 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,474 [light applause] 111 00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:06,678 - Paula fanning. 112 00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:08,547 Her father owned two dairy queens. 113 00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,349 She was a dairy princess 114 00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:12,884 And easily the richest girl in school. 115 00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:15,654 Her father could have bought all the cucumbers they wanted. 116 00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:19,224 - To celebrate, I'm having a birthday party this weekend. 117 00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:20,591 [excited reactions] 118 00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,393 My address is in the invitation. 119 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,229 - A party at paula's house! 120 00:04:25,266 --> 00:04:28,166 It was rumoured that she had an indoor swimming pool. 121 00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,769 Not that I would ever take off my shirt in public. 122 00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:38,476 - Wow, a coupon for a free sundae! 123 00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:40,912 - I wanted a free sundae 124 00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:43,381 But what I really wanted was an invitation. 125 00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:46,651 Up to this point, I had made very little impact 126 00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:48,453 On the st. Bridget's social scene. 127 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,256 - You ask her. 128 00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:54,726 - I can't talk to paula fanning 129 00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:56,327 With ketchup dust fingers! 130 00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:00,498 (quietly) - paula. 131 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:03,935 Paula. 132 00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,472 (normal voice) paula! 133 00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:08,907 - What? 134 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,476 - Do we... 135 00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:13,144 We didn't... 136 00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:14,445 - Oh, 137 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,013 You want an invitation? 138 00:05:16,050 --> 00:05:17,615 [laughter] 139 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,351 Sorry. 140 00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:20,652 My parents said 141 00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,420 I couldn't invite the whole class. 142 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:24,022 I'm sure you understand. 143 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,424 - Huh, they're the only two not invited. 144 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:29,193 - No, we're not. Fox didn't get invited either. 145 00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:31,596 - What'd you say? - Nothing. 146 00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:33,298 - I don't want to go to that prissy party. 147 00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,099 - Me either. I can't go, anyway. 148 00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:36,768 Me and ritchie have plans. 149 00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:39,704 - Oh, really? What's bigger than my party? 150 00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:42,240 - I'm sleeping over at his house this weekend. 151 00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:43,909 - Yes. Wait, what? 152 00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:45,510 Oh, yeah. 153 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,712 - No one had ever seen where I lived before. 154 00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:48,980 I dreaded the thought. 155 00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:50,649 Surely this was just talk 156 00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:52,183 And we wouldn't have to go through with it! 157 00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:53,485 - Oh, yeah? 158 00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,686 Guess I'll see you on the bus, then. 159 00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:57,188 [mischievous music] 160 00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,164 - How long is this gonna take? 161 00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:07,865 - I just have to interview the first person 162 00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,267 To buy a cucumber. 163 00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:10,936 Now, the station really needs this account, mary, 164 00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:13,805 So, please, don't talk to me again until I'm done. 165 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,006 - Oh, they're never gonna sell. 166 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,474 What are you supposed to do with 'em? 167 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,843 I mean, you could boil it or something. 168 00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:20,946 - Attention, shoppers. 169 00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:24,248 Who'd like to go live on the radio? 170 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,685 How are ya? 171 00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:33,892 Mike critch, live on the scene at coleman's grocery 172 00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:35,426 In st. John's. 173 00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:39,164 And I'm here with the first housewife 174 00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:40,499 To buy a cucumber. 175 00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:42,233 Congratulations, madam. 176 00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:43,734 [air horn blows] 177 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,270 [air horn onto table] 178 00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:47,438 - I thought I wasn't allowed to say anything. 179 00:06:47,474 --> 00:06:50,642 - Will you give this up? I need for you to stop it! 180 00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:52,377 Please. 181 00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:53,911 - Well, 182 00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:56,714 I might make a nice pot of cucumber soufflé 183 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,784 There tonight for my husband. 184 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,318 See if he likes that. 185 00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:03,722 He's a bit of a picky arsehole, so we'll have to wait and see. 186 00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:05,156 - And there you have it. 187 00:07:05,159 --> 00:07:07,726 Yes, the cucumbers are flying off the shelves 188 00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,861 Here at coleman's grocery in st. John's. 189 00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:13,331 Mike critch, first on the scene for the vocm news. 190 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:14,866 -Hm. 191 00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:16,334 [wheels and glass items rattle] 192 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,404 - Despite my best efforts, 193 00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:22,139 It seemed ritchie was sleeping over after all. 194 00:07:22,176 --> 00:07:24,242 - Have fun on your honeymoon, losers! 195 00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,680 - Are you sure you want to do this? 196 00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,815 - I don't have to come over if you don't want. 197 00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:32,884 I just said that to paula to make us look good. 198 00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:35,019 But then I thought it might be fun. 199 00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:38,089 - I should let you know, 200 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:39,590 My house is a little... 201 00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,293 Different. 202 00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:43,428 - Don't worry. 203 00:07:43,563 --> 00:07:45,363 I know your dad is on the radio 204 00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:48,166 So you don't have to be embarrassed about being rich. 205 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:51,436 - The 'c' in 'critch' was most certainly not silent, 206 00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:53,338 As ritchie was about to learn. 207 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,906 [rock music] 208 00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:01,012 Jazz music] 209 00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:02,480 [water boiling] 210 00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:11,822 [post lid clattering onto pot] 211 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,392 [heavy breathing] 212 00:08:14,428 --> 00:08:16,460 - Ritchie's here! He's sleeping over! 213 00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:18,129 No time to explain! 214 00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:20,232 Please be on your best behaviour! 215 00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,366 - That's nice. 216 00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:22,534 - Pop, gross! 217 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,369 - Hey, I haven't finished yet. 218 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,504 One hand's longer than the other! 219 00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:28,339 [knocking on door] 220 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,543 - Please do not embarrass me! 221 00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:33,010 [upbeat music] 222 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:36,748 Oh, don't know how you got locked out -- weird. 223 00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:39,150 Oh, well, welcome to our house! 224 00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:41,887 Ritchie - everyone. Everyone - ritchie. 225 00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:44,956 - Mary: Who's that? 226 00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:46,857 - Ritchie. 227 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,093 - Two beds? 228 00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:50,828 Cool! Is this one mine? 229 00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:56,568 - Don't mind me. 230 00:08:57,771 --> 00:08:59,937 Just thought I'd get 40 winks before dinner. 231 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:02,774 Get off my bed, youngster! 232 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:04,976 Huss! 233 00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,314 Ohh, ah! 234 00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:11,983 Oh, yeah. Nice, nice. 235 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:14,986 - You sleep with your grandfather? 236 00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:17,121 - No. 237 00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:18,990 Why would you say that? 238 00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:21,326 - 'cuz he's sleeping in your room. 239 00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:22,794 [snoring] 240 00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:26,664 - I let him sleep here sometimes. 241 00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,634 But, trust me, you will not notice him. 242 00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,670 - Oh! Aww! 243 00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:34,405 [mumbling] 244 00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:36,741 [sputtering] 245 00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:38,543 - Wanna go see the living room? 246 00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:41,279 Okay. 247 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:42,814 - Ohh. 248 00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:44,549 Cucumbers are getting mushy. 249 00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:46,217 [knocking at door] 250 00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:47,918 Frig sake. 251 00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:50,955 - Hello, ma'am. 252 00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,324 May mark come out to play? 253 00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:55,059 - My god, mark's never had this many visitors. 254 00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:58,363 Oh, come on in, dear, they're in his room. 255 00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:00,031 - Thank you kindly, mrs. Critch. 256 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,633 - Mm-hm. 257 00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,101 [calm music] 258 00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,637 Just down the hall. 259 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,707 Hm. 260 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,343 - What's in here? 261 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,780 Who sleeps here? 262 00:10:15,915 --> 00:10:17,315 - My parents. 263 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,751 - How come they sleep in two beds? 264 00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:23,588 - So, this is your room? 265 00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,056 Kinda makes sense, I guess. 266 00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:26,291 - Fox?! 267 00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:28,192 Don't touch that. It's $3 a bottle! 268 00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:29,494 [slams bottle onto dresser] 269 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,862 Fox, what are you doing here? 270 00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:34,732 - Got the bus driver to let me off. 271 00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:37,669 Wanted to see what you freaks were really up to. 272 00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:40,472 Man, this bedroom's creepy, even for you. 273 00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:42,474 - This is his parents' bedroom. 274 00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:45,209 Mark sleeps across the hall with his grandfather. 275 00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,678 - So, your parents don't bone? 276 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:47,879 - You're not helping. 277 00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:49,347 And I don't know what you're talking about. 278 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,581 - Sometimes, 279 00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:52,616 Like on a long weekend or dad's birthday, 280 00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:53,618 Parents will- 281 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:55,553 - I know what she means, ritchie! 282 00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:58,356 - So, then, are you adopted or what? 283 00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:01,959 [electric guitar note] 284 00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:03,428 - Get out of my house! 285 00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,630 - No, you get out of your house! 286 00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:07,298 [grunts and groans] 287 00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:08,833 [mischievous music] 288 00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:10,301 - Give me-- 289 00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:13,237 - The government didn't know 290 00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:14,706 That improperly bottled cucumbers 291 00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,574 Sometimes explode due to gas-emitting bacteria. 292 00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:18,109 [frustrated sigh] 293 00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:20,445 They were mass-producing cucum-bombs. 294 00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:21,679 [loud hiss] 295 00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:23,114 - Good news, mary! 296 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,249 The brass at the station gave us some cucumbers to try. 297 00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:27,852 We're going to be eating like the jetsons tonight! 298 00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,421 - Get those things out of here. 299 00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,724 - Mark: Help! 300 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,426 Stop! 301 00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:36,827 - Ow. 302 00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,796 [whining] - mark: Stop 303 00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,198 Stop! 304 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,400 - I didn't know the boy had it in him. 305 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:43,667 - She's an intruder! 306 00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,870 - You have a lovely bedroom, mrs. Critch. 307 00:11:46,005 --> 00:11:47,639 - Lovely of you to say. 308 00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:49,808 Would you like to stay for supper, dear? 309 00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,509 - Why, yes, please. 310 00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:53,811 I'll call mom to come get me later. 311 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,214 - What do you kids think about cucumbers? 312 00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:58,550 - They're okay, I guess. - Oh, they're lovely. 313 00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:00,918 - Good. 314 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,353 Good. 315 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,891 [foreboding music] 316 00:12:07,026 --> 00:12:10,094 - When word got out, my social life would be over. 317 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,196 That is, if I survived the weekend. 318 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,100 - Here come the boiled cucumbers. 319 00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:17,502 [gasp] and gravy. 320 00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:19,237 - Pop: Oh, hm. 321 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,306 - Company meant we used the dining room, 322 00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,575 Usually saved for special occasions. 323 00:12:24,478 --> 00:12:26,711 - Mary: Oh, look, another card. 324 00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:28,379 Let's see who it's from. 325 00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,581 Happy birthday from randall insurance. 326 00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:32,450 - Tom mcadam or jeff peddle? 327 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,385 - Ah, both. [laughs] 328 00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:35,720 Blow out your candles. 329 00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:38,189 ♪♪ happy birthday to-- 330 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,924 - I must say, mrs. Critch, 331 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,826 I've never had hot cucumber before. 332 00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:44,462 - I'll have to get the recipe. - Oh. 333 00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:47,064 Well, it's not the first time we've had cucumbers, of course. 334 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,466 We often have them, don't you know? 335 00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:51,069 - Am I supposed to eat it or-or drink it? 336 00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:53,471 - Good god, there's no taste to it at all. 337 00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:54,872 - You hate flavour. 338 00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,908 - I need a tums now. 339 00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:58,342 Too much exotic food! 340 00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,077 - Mary: Try one with gravy. 341 00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,113 - Where's he gonna sleep, my bed? 342 00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:05,216 Oh, I-I can do the math. 343 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,819 I suppose it's the home for me, then, is it? 344 00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:10,621 Drop me off at the harbour, why don't ya? 345 00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:12,257 Just put me out on an ice floe! 346 00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:14,425 - Next time someone mentions a g.D. Cucumber, 347 00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,227 I'm gonna shove one up their arse! 348 00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:17,928 - Cucumber, cucumber, cucumber! 349 00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:20,231 [exasperated exclamation] 350 00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:21,699 What? 351 00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:23,301 Do you want my grave next? 352 00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:24,969 Is that it? 353 00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,437 [gloomy music] 354 00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:36,914 - Aren't we supposed to tell secrets at sleepovers? 355 00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:39,584 - Pop: You first. 356 00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,118 Was that your girlfriend? 357 00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:42,319 - No. 358 00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:43,654 She's his bully. 359 00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:44,789 - Shut up! 360 00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,991 Fox is gonna tell everyone I'm a weirdo. 361 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:48,660 Why else would she come here? 362 00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:51,195 - People do stupid stuff when they're lonely. 363 00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:54,265 - Well, that is some boring gossip. 364 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,934 I'm going to bed. 365 00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:00,271 [groaning] 366 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,107 [sighs] 367 00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:04,542 - Why is the room glowing? 368 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,211 - That's just the light from the sprung greenhouse. 369 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,047 You can see it from space. 370 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,715 - The sprung greenhouse 371 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,884 Was located on the outskirts of town 372 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,520 Which meant that my room was bathed nightly 373 00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,822 In the amber hydroponic glow 374 00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:20,124 Of the mad scientist's cucumber factory. 375 00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,760 - I don't even notice it anymore. 376 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,629 [pop coughing] 377 00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:27,464 [coughing continues] 378 00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:30,868 [groaning] 379 00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:32,303 - Mike sr.: Hold still. 380 00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:35,039 I can't get the calamine lotion on your burns if you're moving. 381 00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:37,441 - Mary: Ow, mike, you got hands like a bloody gorilla! 382 00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:38,976 - It's from typing! 383 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,445 - That stings. 384 00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:42,647 - Hey... 385 00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:45,282 Maybe we can sleep over at my house tomorrow? 386 00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,052 - Yeah. 387 00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:49,620 That might be nice. 388 00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:51,656 - Mike sr.: Stop squirming. 389 00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:53,725 Maybe try some margarine on it. 390 00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:55,192 [pop groaning loudly] 391 00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:00,998 Big band music] 392 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,704 - Oh, got too much too much. 393 00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:10,942 - And how long are you going for, a month? 394 00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:12,977 - You think I packed too much? 395 00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:16,347 - Not unless you're planning on beating peary to the pole. 396 00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:18,082 Here, let me have a look. 397 00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:21,886 Maybe there's a couple of things in here you could do without. 398 00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:23,487 Oh! 399 00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:25,156 1939 400 00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:27,425 King george commemorative mug? 401 00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:29,160 - I like a cup of tea before bed. 402 00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:30,761 1- okay, well... 403 00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,263 Two pairs of pajamas? 404 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:34,632 - That set is flannel. 405 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,168 I don't know how cold he keeps his room. 406 00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:38,769 - Oh, potted meat, 407 00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:40,238 Noxzema. 408 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,907 A loaf of bread. 409 00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:44,508 [crinkling] 410 00:15:45,912 --> 00:15:47,378 Toilet paper. 411 00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:49,380 Mark, 412 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,382 You don't need any of this stuff. 413 00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,785 - I've never been invited to a sleepover before. 414 00:15:56,055 --> 00:15:58,088 - You don't have to be worried. 415 00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:00,858 Listen, all families are different 416 00:16:00,927 --> 00:16:02,126 And yet, 417 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,094 All families are the same. 418 00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,198 You know, there's things you don't like about his 419 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,434 And things that he probably doesn't like about here. 420 00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:12,569 But all I do know, 421 00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:15,005 With all this stuff, you'll look like a fool. 422 00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:17,608 And you don't need any help doing that 423 00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:20,945 Because your parents have you well covered in that department. 424 00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:23,348 [tender music] [both chuckle] 425 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,682 - Ritchie's house was a suburban dream. 426 00:16:25,719 --> 00:16:28,285 A vinyl siding wrapped bungalow 427 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:31,222 With fancy steps and a postage stamp-sized yard. 428 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,960 - You have a second living room downstairs? 429 00:16:36,029 --> 00:16:37,962 - Sorry, it's our lame rec room. 430 00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:40,498 - I had never heard of a rec room before. 431 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:41,932 - But we can watch movie channel, 432 00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,701 Play atari. You like pitfall? 433 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,803 We have the commodore 64 too. 434 00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:49,840 - It was at that exact moment that I realized I was poor. 435 00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:51,909 - Do your parents sleep in the same bed? 436 00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:53,344 - Yeah, they have a waterbed. 437 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:54,746 But I have two beds in my room. 438 00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:56,547 Well, it's a bunk bed but still... 439 00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,715 - Oh. 440 00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:00,918 You must think 441 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,453 I'm pretty weird, huh? 442 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,121 - No, your house is... 443 00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:06,156 Different, 444 00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:07,792 Like, but really cool. 445 00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:10,060 I never saw someone shine shoes before. 446 00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:12,529 - Yeah, but you've got everything. 447 00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:14,331 - But what good is that if I don't have anyone 448 00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:15,933 To use it with? 449 00:17:16,002 --> 00:17:17,402 - Hello. 450 00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:21,338 You must be mark. 451 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,474 I'm so happy ritchie has a friend! 452 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,610 I brought you boys some snacks. 453 00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:28,479 Your father and I are going out to a dinner tonight. 454 00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:30,414 I left the phone number on the wall. 455 00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,349 So good meeting you, mark. 456 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,418 - A pleasure. - Um-hm. 457 00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:35,820 - Thanks, mom. 458 00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:38,156 - They leave you alone? [doorbell] 459 00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:39,690 Cool. 460 00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:42,226 - They work a lot at the hospital but I'm used to it. 461 00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:43,361 - My parents never go out. 462 00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:44,762 There's always somebody home. 463 00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:45,963 - Lucky. 464 00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:47,965 - Ritchie, 465 00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:49,700 You have another friend here! 466 00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,302 She's very pretty. 467 00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:53,237 - Why, thank you, mrs. Perez. 468 00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,306 - What a lovely home you have. - Oh. 469 00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:56,874 - Fox was like dracula. 470 00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:59,043 She couldn't enter your home unless she was invited in. 471 00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:00,844 But once she crossed your threshold, 472 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,647 You were as good as dead. 473 00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:03,714 - Nice pad, perez. 474 00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,650 Better than that dick's cocoon house. 475 00:18:05,652 --> 00:18:07,985 - Uh, what are you doing here? 476 00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:09,720 - I've come to get you for paula's party. 477 00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:11,656 - We weren't invited. 478 00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:13,591 - That's exactly why we're going. 479 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:14,725 She didn't invite us, 480 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,527 So we're going to go there and wreck it. 481 00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:17,928 Look! 482 00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:20,131 We take these and throw them at the house. 483 00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:21,532 Cover it in squished cucumber. 484 00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:24,134 - Cucumbers are hard. They won't squish. 485 00:18:25,171 --> 00:18:26,737 - God, you're so lame! 486 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:29,340 - If we're so lame, then how come you keep following us? 487 00:18:29,475 --> 00:18:30,908 - I'm not following you! 488 00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:33,010 - You don't have to make up a reason to come over. 489 00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:34,145 - Trust me, 490 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,681 I don't want to stay here with you geeks! 491 00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:38,716 Fine. 492 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:39,984 If you guys don't want to help me, 493 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,585 I'll just do it myself. 494 00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:43,754 - I realized then, for the first time, 495 00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:45,823 That fox didn't want to bully us. 496 00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,091 She wanted to be our friend. 497 00:18:47,226 --> 00:18:48,926 She just didn't know how. 498 00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:50,961 - Fox, uh... 499 00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:52,630 Why don't you stay? 500 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,332 Three people can play this one. 501 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:01,772 - Screw off. 502 00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:04,909 [melancholy music and woman vocalizing] 503 00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:07,844 [video game sound effects] 504 00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:11,081 - Mark: So... 505 00:19:21,895 --> 00:19:24,462 - Home's a place you grow up wanting to leave 506 00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,930 And grow old wanting to come back to. 507 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,700 Ritchie had everything I ever wanted. 508 00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:32,336 But as I lay there, 509 00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,471 In a different room in a new house, 510 00:19:34,473 --> 00:19:35,673 All I wanted 511 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,341 Was to hear pop snoring. 512 00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:38,842 [tender music] 513 00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,646 - If cucumbers are the future, 514 00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:46,083 We really are in one helluva... 515 00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:47,585 Pickle. 516 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:53,023 Those cucumbers really did wonders for your skin. 517 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,259 You look just like a... 518 00:19:55,394 --> 00:19:56,994 Hollywood actress. 519 00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,567 - As small as a home is, 520 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,302 It's never small enough to keep the people you love 521 00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:06,803 Close to you. 522 00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:10,007 [doorbell] 523 00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:11,442 [excited conversations] 524 00:20:11,577 --> 00:20:12,977 - Girl: Stop! 525 00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:18,115 - Sometimes, the biggest of houses can feel empty 526 00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:19,683 Even when it's filled. 527 00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:29,393 [loud hiss] [scream] 528 00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:30,927 - Paula: Gross! 529 00:20:30,964 --> 00:20:32,997 - And, sometimes, people are most at home 530 00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:34,564 All on their own. 531 00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:37,935 - Woo-hoo! 532 00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,603 [emotional music continues] 533 00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:40,938 - Tv reporter: This just in: 534 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,440 The sprung greenhouse, 535 00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:45,676 Built at a cost to taxpayers of $22 million, 536 00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:47,811 Has closed just months after it opened. 537 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,447 Thousands of cucumbers remain unsold. 538 00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:53,150 Area grocers are offering them for free to farmers 539 00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:54,951 To feed their cows. 540 00:20:54,988 --> 00:20:56,554 - Thank christ that's over. 541 00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:58,955 Mary, do we have any cans of corned beef? 542 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:02,559 - I guess what really makes a house a home 543 00:21:02,629 --> 00:21:05,262 Is knowing you can always come back to it. 544 00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,633 And that someone is waiting for you 545 00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:11,101 When you do. 546 00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:13,437 ♪♪ home 547 00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:24,581 [upbeat jazz music]