1 00:00:02,570 --> 00:00:03,301 Tv news: Let's find out, and head over to carl 2 00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:04,169 With the weather. Carl? 3 00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:05,404 Mary: Oh, so, suzanne, 4 00:00:05,406 --> 00:00:07,105 What do I owe you for my avon order, hm? 5 00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:08,607 $28, my love. 6 00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:09,974 $28! 7 00:00:10,011 --> 00:00:11,310 For makeup? What's the point? 8 00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:13,078 I already know what ya look like without it! 9 00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:15,214 Uh, I think he means you're naturally pretty, mom. 10 00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:16,648 You don't need makeup. 11 00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,883 Pop: Well, certainly not $28 worth. 12 00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:21,720 I mean, you're not joining the circus. 13 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:24,389 Maybe he's right, girl. Money is tight. 14 00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:25,857 I'll just take the lipstick. 15 00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:27,659 Adult mark: Fox's mother sold avon products 16 00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:29,928 Like a new york city drug pusher. 17 00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:31,863 Shut up, mike. 18 00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:33,498 You should sell your own avon, mary. 19 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:35,033 Make your own bit of money. 20 00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:36,802 You'd make a great salesman, mom. 21 00:00:36,871 --> 00:00:39,605 Mike sr: Will ye crowd be quiet? I'm trying to watch the news! 22 00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:42,006 You know what, suzanne? 23 00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:44,676 I will take that makeup. 24 00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:46,078 And the job! 25 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,680 [laughs] alright, girl! 26 00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:51,015 But don't go taking any of my customers, 'cause if you do, 27 00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:54,553 You're gonna need to cover up your bruises with... 28 00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,154 Fresh look foundation. 29 00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:57,489 That's a sample. 30 00:00:57,525 --> 00:00:58,690 It's on page 12. 31 00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,425 Oh, I won't have any trouble getting my own. 32 00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:01,627 You just try and keep up. 33 00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:03,095 Oh! [laughs] 34 00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:06,265 Come on, girl, I gotta get you your own catalogues! 35 00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:08,233 Tv news: For more, let's go to glenn... 36 00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:10,836 Suzanne: Excuse me, ducky, thank you. 37 00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:12,638 Mike sr: Good god, it's a mob scene! 38 00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:13,939 Volume! 39 00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:15,307 Reporter: Beer strike! 40 00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:17,976 Canadian brewery workers walked off the job today 41 00:01:18,045 --> 00:01:20,778 To protest the switch to aluminium cans. 42 00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:23,248 Adult mark: ...Leaving the entire province dry. 43 00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:25,183 Striker: Glass is class! 44 00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:26,985 Ban the can! 45 00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:29,087 [all yelling] 46 00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:30,455 Adult mark: As the last few cases 47 00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:31,990 Of canadian beer disappeared, 48 00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:34,058 The boozers were left with only one option: 49 00:01:34,095 --> 00:01:37,396 American beer. 50 00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:39,130 Look at them, fighting over the last few cases 51 00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:41,733 Like it's the only lifejacket left on the titanic. 52 00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:43,268 I've gotta get down there. 53 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:44,869 You don't drink beer, dad. 54 00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,605 Not to buy it, to cover it! 55 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,940 This is the biggest beer-related news story since 56 00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:51,943 That woman downtown found that baby rat in her stubby. 57 00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:54,412 Man on tv: I saw it first! Man 2 on tv: Yes, now, 58 00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:57,316 And it'll be the last thing ya sees! 59 00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:59,350 What is so bad about american beer? 60 00:01:59,352 --> 00:02:00,619 Oh, it sucks. 61 00:02:00,688 --> 00:02:02,721 There's no booze in it, you can hardly get a buzz. 62 00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:05,724 Gotta have like three or four before you can even... 63 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,292 I mean, so I'm told. 64 00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:08,894 I wouldn't know, of course. 65 00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:10,963 Oh, that yankee swill, 66 00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:14,432 It tastes the same going in as it does coming out. 67 00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:17,435 You know the expression "goin' on the piss"? 68 00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:19,371 Well, american beer... 69 00:02:19,506 --> 00:02:21,239 That's the piss. 70 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:23,108 Hello, donny, it's me. 71 00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:25,978 Uh, listen, um... 72 00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:30,182 Are you still working on that beer truck? 73 00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:33,785 I may have a little proposition for you. 74 00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:35,520 Adult mark: Strike be damned. 75 00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:38,156 Pop wasn't gonna let go of the "beer" necessities. 76 00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:42,860 ♪ 77 00:02:42,897 --> 00:02:44,630 Fox: Thank you. 78 00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:45,964 What the hell? 79 00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:47,032 Share the wealth, nerd. 80 00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:49,134 I'm starved to death. 81 00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:52,404 Mom's at an avon convention and dad got on a bender last night. 82 00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:53,906 No lunch. 83 00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:58,076 Well, I got corned beef and a tin of vienna sausages... 84 00:02:58,212 --> 00:03:01,980 ♪ 85 00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:03,615 Whoa... 86 00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:05,617 Fancy. 87 00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:07,352 Oh, how kind of you. 88 00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:09,221 Hey, lunch! 89 00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,489 Let's go. 90 00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:13,158 Where are they going? 91 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,894 Middle fox: We're going to get fried chicken. 92 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,596 Off school grounds? 93 00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:19,531 Adult mark: The fox brothers were old enough to teach, 94 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,332 So they could leave the school at lunch. 95 00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:24,068 But the rest of us were doomed to brown-bag it. 96 00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:26,471 How I longed for a stomach full of the regret 97 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,106 That grease brought. 98 00:03:28,175 --> 00:03:30,108 Silver fox: Oh, look at the sooky babies 99 00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:32,076 Wit' their lunch-tins! 100 00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:34,912 Mommy coming to put ya on the teat, is she? 101 00:03:34,949 --> 00:03:36,648 We could go if we wanted to. 102 00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:38,383 What's that, little baby? 103 00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:40,586 All I hears is "suck, suck, suck." 104 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,087 [sucky noises] 105 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:43,755 We didn't ask permission. 106 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,523 Silver fox: [laughs] 107 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,258 Silver fox: Aw, that's cute. 108 00:03:47,294 --> 00:03:49,827 Come on, ritche, m'boy. We're dining out today. 109 00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:51,463 But I don't have any money! 110 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:53,398 I've still got some cash from mowing lawns. 111 00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:54,532 My treat. 112 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,067 You hear that? 113 00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:57,669 His treat. 114 00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,004 Silver fox: We'll walk you there. 115 00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:00,538 Fox: Just leave him alone. 116 00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,407 You can't mooch off him just 'cause he's small. 117 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:03,374 Adult mark: Small? 118 00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,776 What are you, his mommy? 119 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:05,843 Adult mark: Mommy? 120 00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:07,145 He'll get in trouble. 121 00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:08,880 He's not big enough to eat off school grounds. 122 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,081 Adult mark: Not big enough? 123 00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:11,783 [laughs] 124 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:13,885 Adult mark: The woman I loved thought I was a baby. 125 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,553 I had to prove my manhood. 126 00:04:15,555 --> 00:04:16,622 It's fine. 127 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:19,157 I said it was my treat, and I meant it. 128 00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:22,561 Adult mark: I did not mean it. 129 00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:25,664 Gentlemen? Shall we take our luncheon? 130 00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:27,465 Mark: Thank you. Silver fox: After you. 131 00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:28,333 Mark: This way. 132 00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:29,967 Idiot! 133 00:04:30,004 --> 00:04:31,370 Better keep an eye on him. 134 00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:33,505 C'mon. Let's go. 135 00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:36,308 Hurry. 136 00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:39,911 Come on, let's go! 137 00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:41,813 [truck honks as it passes] 138 00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:47,119 Ugh, dick dunphy with your vocm on-the-spot traffic. 139 00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:50,522 I'm in a bumper-to-bumper jam 'cause of a three-car 140 00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:52,256 Smash-up on the arterial. 141 00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:53,991 Avoid the area. 142 00:04:54,028 --> 00:04:56,561 Drive safely, arrive alive. 143 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:59,531 Vocm cares. 144 00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,666 Dick, I need a run to the liquor store! 145 00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:05,436 Jeez, mike, I can't even look at a beer after the night I had. 146 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:09,941 I was the emcee for strip bingo down to the strand lounge. 147 00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:11,376 Let's go! 148 00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:12,911 They're about to sell the last beer in newfoundland! 149 00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:16,014 I'm pretty sure I already drank it. 150 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:20,485 [siren switches on] 151 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,487 Mike sr: Come on, will ya? 152 00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:23,722 You sure, gertie? 153 00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,323 Not even a skin so soft? 154 00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:28,292 It's almost mosquito season... 155 00:05:28,329 --> 00:05:29,695 I understand. 156 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:32,096 All my best to frank. 157 00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:33,765 Ya stuck-up old bat! 158 00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,300 Pop: Any bites? 159 00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:36,501 No. 160 00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:37,903 I've been on the phone all day 161 00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:39,437 And I haven't sold a bloody thing! 162 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:42,574 You know, it's a lot harder to say no to someone 163 00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:44,376 If they're standing on the doorstep 164 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:48,213 With their foot in the door-jamb. 165 00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:49,514 I guess that's true. 166 00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:50,549 Yeah, come on. 167 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:51,983 Let's get this stuff sold. 168 00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,118 What are you rushing me for? 169 00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:55,454 Pop: I'm not rushing you. 170 00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:56,888 No, no, come on, come on. 171 00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:58,824 You've gotta sell. Come on. 172 00:05:58,826 --> 00:05:59,758 I need my catalogues. 173 00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:01,126 Good, good. 174 00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:02,660 Alright! 175 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,529 Close the door! 176 00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:07,064 [door closes] 177 00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:11,536 ♪ 178 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:13,271 [line ringing] 179 00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:15,006 Donny, you packed? 180 00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,207 Good. 181 00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:18,009 Oh, we have an empty nest here. 182 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:21,646 I repeat... Empty nest. 183 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,381 [crowd shouting] dick: Jesus! 184 00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:25,216 Gimme your press pass so I can buy some beer. 185 00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:26,451 They're almost out. 186 00:06:26,453 --> 00:06:28,085 Are you mad? You can't cross a picket line. 187 00:06:28,122 --> 00:06:31,088 Besides, I'm live in 4, 3... 188 00:06:31,125 --> 00:06:33,291 Vocm on-the-spot news at the liquor store, 189 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:34,692 Where the scene is... 190 00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:36,695 Sobering. 191 00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:38,930 It's a "bottle-neck" as thirst-crazed customers 192 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,766 Are desperate to lay their shaking hands 193 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:44,035 On the last bottle of canadian beer. 194 00:06:44,171 --> 00:06:46,370 Mike critch, for the vocm news service. 195 00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:47,505 Dick: Come on! 196 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:50,842 [crowd shouting angrily] 197 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,109 Dick: Out of me' way! 198 00:06:52,146 --> 00:06:54,145 Dick: Mike, mike! Hang on, mike! 199 00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:56,581 I just gotta grab a case of blue star! 200 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:57,715 Press! 201 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,651 Press...! 202 00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:01,586 Press! 203 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,121 Arsehole. 204 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,323 ♪ 205 00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:06,925 Adult mark: There was no denying it. 206 00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:08,727 I was one of the big kids. 207 00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,528 Money can't buy happiness, 208 00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:12,197 But it can buy chicken. 209 00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,632 Silver fox: I'm gut-founded! 210 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,233 Thanks for the snack packs, mark. 211 00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:16,601 Mark? 212 00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:19,204 You guys have called me "arse," "tool," "dick," 213 00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:20,772 And "arse-dicked tool," 214 00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:23,541 But you've never called me by my real name before. 215 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,076 Fox: Hey, dick. 216 00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,411 Ritche: We gotta go back! 217 00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:27,679 It's quarter to one. 218 00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:28,880 Ritche: Is that chicken? 219 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,348 What are you doing here? 220 00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:31,549 Those tools are just using you. 221 00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:33,251 Mark: What, and you're not? 222 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,820 Ritche: I can tell you only went 'cause you were scared. 223 00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:37,555 Textbook peer pressure. 224 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,156 Look, I'm big enough to eat here, 225 00:07:39,193 --> 00:07:40,859 And I don't need you two mooching off me! 226 00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:41,927 Fox: Fine. Be an arse! 227 00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:44,229 I don't care. 228 00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:45,430 Come on. 229 00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:47,599 We're gonna miss the bell! 230 00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,601 Silver fox: We're on the pip for the rest of the day. 231 00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:51,669 Wanna come with, mark? 232 00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:53,504 You're cutting class? 233 00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:54,973 Ritche: Come on! 234 00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:57,175 Got somethin' you're gonna wanna see. 235 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,110 Adult mark: It was time to prove that just because 236 00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:01,312 I ate chicken didn't mean I was one. 237 00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:02,981 Silver fox: Forget it. You're still a baby. 238 00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:04,815 Fox: I told you, he's too young! 239 00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:06,918 People will know he's on the pip. 240 00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:09,453 It's fine. Lead the way. 241 00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:13,190 ♪ 242 00:08:13,227 --> 00:08:15,460 Adult mark: I felt like little red riding hood... 243 00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:17,529 Except I was a little brown-haired boy, 244 00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,997 My wolf was a fox, and everyone had already eaten 245 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,333 The contents of my basket. 246 00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:31,142 Adult mark: The big kids' hang-out in the woods. 247 00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:34,946 A dark place between childhood and adulthood... 248 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,615 Where boys became men. 249 00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:40,285 Mark: Wait... 250 00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:44,222 This is it! 251 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,824 Party time! 252 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,959 Mark: Is-- is that-- silver fox: It's dad's. 253 00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:50,361 He hates american beer. He won't miss it. 254 00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:51,996 Middle fox: He's always drunk, anyway. 255 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,264 He'll just think he drank it. 256 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,833 Silver fox: Shut up! 257 00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:56,300 So... 258 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:59,104 Baby want his bottle...? 259 00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:00,772 Can? 260 00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,240 Adult mark: There was peer pressure, 261 00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:04,375 And then there was beer pressure. 262 00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:13,184 Dad... 263 00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:15,287 What are you doing up? 264 00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:17,289 I mean, home. 265 00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:19,523 Shouldn't you be at school? 266 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:23,194 The boys pipped off so I thought I would, but... 267 00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,596 I'll just go. It's fine. 268 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,998 No, wait. 269 00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:29,401 Day off won't kill ya. 270 00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:32,771 Missing school never hurt me. 271 00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,572 Ooh... 272 00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:38,042 Ah, this american stuff tastes like fish piss! 273 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,110 Can barely drink it. 274 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,613 Then don't. 275 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,282 What? 276 00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,550 Fox: Nothin'. Dad: No. 277 00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:50,155 Don't be chicken. What? 278 00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:55,259 If you don't like it, then why do you drink it? 279 00:09:55,329 --> 00:09:57,061 Jesus, I'm not an alkie, b'y! 280 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,363 It's just a few beer. 281 00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:01,298 I-I know, I know. Just forget it. 282 00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:04,235 It's fine. 283 00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:06,170 Shag it. 284 00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:08,439 Can't even get a buzz off it at all. 285 00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:13,711 You eat? 286 00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:15,079 No. 287 00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,848 Help me get these empties together, 288 00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:19,985 We get some money to get some chicken and chips or something. 289 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,586 What do you say? 290 00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:25,924 Uh, okay. Yeah. 291 00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:27,559 That's better, huh? 292 00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:30,261 [birds chirping outside] 293 00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,864 Yeah. 294 00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:36,601 ♪ 295 00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:38,903 Mr. Perez! 296 00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:41,739 Where is everyone? 297 00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,274 We... 298 00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:44,475 We... 299 00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:45,943 What's the matter, ritche? 300 00:10:45,945 --> 00:10:48,379 Chicken? 301 00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:49,614 [students laugh] 302 00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:51,615 Tina. 303 00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:54,085 Well, ritche? 304 00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:55,754 [sighs] 305 00:10:55,889 --> 00:11:00,091 [crowd shouting angrily] 306 00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:02,560 Dick: Away with you! Get off of me! 307 00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,495 Get off of me now! 308 00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:08,666 [shouting continues] 309 00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:14,839 Good god, dick! You almost got me killed! 310 00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:16,441 I'm sorry, mike, but I can't go drinking 311 00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:17,842 The american stuff, b'y! 312 00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,510 I'll drink anything; I mean, I'll even drink 313 00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:21,378 The bits left at parties with butts in 'em, 314 00:11:21,415 --> 00:11:23,347 But I wouldn't use that to flush a toilet. 315 00:11:23,417 --> 00:11:25,417 Dick, this is american beer. 316 00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:26,818 It's all they had left. 317 00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,986 But I needs a straightener if I'm gonna drive. 318 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,122 Mike sr: Drive, drive! 319 00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:33,224 [shouting continues] [siren switches on] 320 00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:34,659 [horn honking] 321 00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:40,198 [sighs] 322 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,267 Wha--! What are you doing? 323 00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:44,802 You should be out there pounding the pavement. 324 00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:47,538 I tried putt's farm, kirkland's garage, nothing! 325 00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:49,540 I got all the way down to the flemings, 326 00:11:49,576 --> 00:11:50,942 But they already bought theirs off suzanne. 327 00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:52,076 She's got the whole road limbed out! 328 00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:53,477 Well, get back out there! 329 00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:55,814 No! 330 00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:57,648 I'm, uh, here for the, um, package. 331 00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:58,950 Oh, yeah, yeah. 332 00:11:59,085 --> 00:12:01,853 Thank you. 333 00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:02,787 There you go. Whoa-- 334 00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:04,889 What're you up to? 335 00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,190 Beer? 336 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,058 Pop: Good, thank you. 337 00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:11,362 Look, I know a guy who works on a beer truck. 338 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,965 A few cases got redirected... 339 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:16,167 Mary: Stolen! Pop: Diverted. 340 00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:20,505 And I'm just out there to help him get it out into the world. 341 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,240 Catch and release. 342 00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:24,842 You bloody bootlegger! This is illegal. 343 00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,644 Plus, those hard-working boys down at the brewery 344 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:28,379 Are trying to save their jobs, ya frigger! 345 00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:29,981 Look, calm down, will you? 346 00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:31,515 It's not gonna happen again. 347 00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:34,218 [knock at door] 348 00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:36,020 Ah. 349 00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:37,388 Loyola. 350 00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:39,456 You change your mind about that citrus soap? 351 00:12:39,493 --> 00:12:41,926 Uh, no, mary. I'm here for pat. 352 00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:43,461 Pat, do you have that package? 353 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:44,862 I do indeed. 354 00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:46,797 He can't sell you any beer. 355 00:12:46,833 --> 00:12:49,466 But... 356 00:12:49,503 --> 00:12:52,203 He can give it to you for free... 357 00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:54,539 With the purchase of select avon products. 358 00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:56,574 Ignore her. 359 00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,543 Four dollars. 360 00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:00,511 Hey, either we do this together 361 00:13:00,514 --> 00:13:03,081 Or I drop you outside that beer factory 362 00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:06,351 With a sign around your neck saying "bootlegger." 363 00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,820 ♪ 364 00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,487 Pay the woman. 365 00:13:10,524 --> 00:13:12,757 Mary: Here. 366 00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:14,759 Hm! 367 00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:16,093 You gonna drink it or what? 368 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,428 No, thank you. 369 00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:18,997 I'm more of a canadian beer guy. 370 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,065 Ha! Sook! 371 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,034 Sook! 372 00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:27,171 Adult mark: I knew the dangers of drinking... 373 00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:28,373 Mark: Oh, are you okay? 374 00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:30,775 Mike jr: Oh... I'm dying. Bucket! 375 00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:32,377 [vomiting] 376 00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:35,513 Adult mark: ...From watching my brother. 377 00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,915 Silver fox: Just like I told my sister... 378 00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:39,650 You're a baby! 379 00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:40,952 Adult mark: He had a point. 380 00:13:41,087 --> 00:13:43,187 There was no way fox could say I was a baby 381 00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:44,656 If I was a drinking man. 382 00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:49,594 I mean, how bad could it be? 383 00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:51,662 [exhales] 384 00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:53,764 Gentlemen, to your health! 385 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,336 [laughter] 386 00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,104 Mark: Yuck, that stuff sucks! 387 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,206 I mean, that american stuff sucks. 388 00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:03,807 No booze in it! 389 00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:05,676 Silver fox: Nuh-uh. 390 00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:07,344 You don't leave here without drinking. 391 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:10,081 I don't want you to narc us out. 392 00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,316 Mark: Ha-ha, very funny. 393 00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,951 Brothers: Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! 394 00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:14,919 Chug-- [branch cracks] 395 00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:16,287 What was that? 396 00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:18,823 Sister rose: Come out, come out, wherever you are! 397 00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:21,359 I can hear you! 398 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,261 [in a whisper] it's sister rose! 399 00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:24,728 Sister rose: I can't see you, but god can! 400 00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:26,330 He sees you when you're sleeping! 401 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:27,665 He knows when you're awake! 402 00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:31,970 I followed a trail of denuded chicken bones. 403 00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:36,207 Come on, my little hansel and gretel! 404 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:37,575 Silver fox: Don't... Move. 405 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:38,943 Sister rose: You can't hide forever! 406 00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:41,179 If I find you deserters, 407 00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:43,180 I'm gonna smack the arse right off of ya! 408 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,383 Adult mark: I was terrified. 409 00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:46,851 It was a good thing I wasn't sober. 410 00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:48,052 Sister rose: Come out and talk to me! 411 00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:52,523 Never having experienced booze, 412 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:55,860 I took my anxiety for being drunk. 413 00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:59,230 Fee-fi-fo-fum! 414 00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:02,734 I smell the beer of someone dumb! 415 00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,702 ♪ 416 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:07,237 Adult mark: They say humans have two modes in crisis: 417 00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:08,773 Fight or flight. 418 00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:10,207 I had a third: 419 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:13,144 Freeze. 420 00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:15,546 The fox brothers ran smack into the nun, 421 00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:18,650 Just like moths to the flame. 422 00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:21,619 I thought I was old enough to eat lunch off school grounds, 423 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,755 But not even pop was old enough for this! 424 00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:27,091 So, you wanna watch some wrestling with the old man? 425 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,693 Ric flair is about to take on angelo mosca! 426 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:30,828 Yeah, sure. 427 00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:34,031 I guess. 428 00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:35,300 Dad? [bell on tv rings] 429 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:37,168 Yeah, kitten? 430 00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:38,369 It's nice when you don't drink. 431 00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:40,238 Jeez, b'y. 432 00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:41,906 So you really do think I'm an alkie. 433 00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:43,241 No, no. 434 00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:44,775 I-I never meant it like that. 435 00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:47,712 I just meant... 436 00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:49,914 I want to spend more time here. 437 00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:52,082 [cheering on tv] 438 00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:54,551 It's your house too. 439 00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,720 Now, luh. Ric flair. 440 00:15:56,756 --> 00:16:00,057 The stylin', profilin', limousine ridin'-- 441 00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:03,394 Both: Jet flying, kiss-stealing, wheelin' and dealin' 442 00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:04,262 Son of a gun! 443 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:05,496 Woo! 444 00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:08,599 Dad: [laughs] 445 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,468 Here, give me a fry. Give me a fry! 446 00:16:10,537 --> 00:16:12,603 Fox: It's my fries! Stop it! 447 00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:14,839 No! 448 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,208 ♪ 449 00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:19,677 Pop: Alright, that's two blue star and a skin so soft. 450 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,245 That comes to... 451 00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:23,147 Mary: Fourteen dollars. Pop: Fourteen dollars. 452 00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:26,150 But, if you take a bar of moonwind soap on a rope, 453 00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:29,420 We'll throw in two bottles of blackhorse and call it 20. 454 00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:31,155 Alright, thank you. 455 00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:32,824 Mary: There you are. Pop: Alright. 456 00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:34,225 [laughs] 457 00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:35,760 Pop: How're we doing? Mary: Fifty-seven dollars. 458 00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:37,294 Voice: Pat? You home? 459 00:16:37,296 --> 00:16:38,830 [in a whisper] what? Officer butt! 460 00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,198 Quick, hide the stuff. 461 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,234 Quick, throw that over. 462 00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:44,501 Mary: Oh! 463 00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,404 Officer butt, what brings you here? 464 00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:48,940 I heard that there might be some beer for sale here. 465 00:16:49,075 --> 00:16:50,508 Oh, that's ridiculous. 466 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,976 Alright, look, we haven't got time for this, piggie. 467 00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:54,645 Either arrest me or get lost. 468 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:57,381 Your cop car out there, it's scaring off our customers! 469 00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:58,982 Avon customers. 470 00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:00,317 I've been selling avon products. 471 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,953 No law against that. 472 00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:04,455 Oh, well, that's too bad. 473 00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:07,991 I was looking for a few beer to take up to my cabin. 474 00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:09,327 Can't drink that american piss. 475 00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:10,795 Oh! [chuckles] 476 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:14,132 Well, in that case, you came to the right place. 477 00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:18,102 Four jockey club. 478 00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:20,571 And a bottle of sweet honesty cologne for 30 bucks. 479 00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:28,479 Adult mark: I was as sober as a judge, 480 00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:31,949 But convinced that I was drunk. 481 00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:34,218 I was terrified that the nun would call dad 482 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:39,624 And I'd be sent to juvie like mickey rooney in boystown! 483 00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,692 What the hell are you doing? 484 00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:42,726 Taking a walk. 485 00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:44,027 Hm. 486 00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:44,996 In the hallway? 487 00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:46,330 Sure. 488 00:17:46,332 --> 00:17:48,299 Sure. Okay. 489 00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:50,968 So, walk. 490 00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:54,171 Mark: Ah... Yeah. 491 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,873 Hm. School called. 492 00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:57,942 Mark: Well-- mike jr: Said you pipped off. 493 00:17:57,944 --> 00:17:59,777 Uh, I can explain. I was just... 494 00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,646 I told them you came home sick. 495 00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:02,813 So...? 496 00:18:02,816 --> 00:18:05,049 What-- 497 00:18:05,184 --> 00:18:07,251 Is that pee? 498 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,320 No, it's beer. 499 00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:10,988 No, it's pee. 500 00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:12,723 But it's not mine! It's somebody else's! 501 00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:14,725 Oh, you smell like the floor of a legion! 502 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:18,329 How many did you have? 503 00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:20,631 One. 504 00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:22,099 Okay. 505 00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:23,468 Act normal. 506 00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:26,069 You're fine. 507 00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:28,673 ♪ 508 00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,207 Oh, dear god. 509 00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:35,746 I tallied up our take. 510 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,414 I sold all my product in one day. 511 00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:39,483 Ha! A regular estee lauder. 512 00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:42,353 I had a pretty interesting day myself. 513 00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:44,221 Thought I wouldn't make it out of there alive. 514 00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:46,157 Like covering 'nam. 515 00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:47,825 "the battery of bottle-breaking bottlers 516 00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:50,428 "left this broadcaster black and blue." 517 00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:52,496 They're gonna be out for a hell of a long time, 518 00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:53,831 Take my word on it. 519 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,366 Mark: Father, mother, pop. 520 00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:57,168 How is everyone? 521 00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:58,903 Adult mark: I took my brother's advice. 522 00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:01,438 The least suspicious thing to do was to act normally, 523 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:04,575 Which, when you try to do it, always seems suspicious. 524 00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:05,977 Is that coffee? 525 00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:07,778 You drink tea. 526 00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,980 I felt like a cuppa' joe. 527 00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:11,582 What's that smell? 528 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,116 It's... 529 00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:14,685 Uh... 530 00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:16,854 Uh... The... 531 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,623 Mike jr: Oh, it's mark. 532 00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:20,524 The little weirdo got into your avon. 533 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:21,659 Come on. 534 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:22,793 Mark: What, uh... 535 00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:25,596 Mike jr: Up, up, up, up. 536 00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:28,666 [quietly] now, go wash up, 'cause you friggin' reek. 537 00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:30,368 Uh, apologies. 538 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:31,802 Tv news: Breaking news. 539 00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:34,037 Workers and the union resolved the beer strike today 540 00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:36,340 After a 22-hour bargaining session. 541 00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:38,609 The hangover is over. 542 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,611 I knew it wouldn't last. 543 00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:41,945 No more american beer. 544 00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:44,081 You must be happy, pop. 545 00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:45,349 Mark: Good. 546 00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:47,217 That american beer is awful. 547 00:19:47,219 --> 00:19:48,653 Mary: Hm? 548 00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:49,820 So I hear. 549 00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:51,522 Goodnight. 550 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:54,025 ♪ 551 00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:56,227 Tv news: The strike resolution means that newfoundlanders 552 00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:58,495 Can once again buy canadian beer. 553 00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:01,164 Sales of beer had dropped 50% in the capital city, 554 00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:02,366 With some stores... 555 00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:04,435 Okay, I gotta pop out for a minute. 556 00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:05,436 Dad? 557 00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:08,171 Dad: I'll be right back. 558 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,441 Adult mark: Fox had been the only person in town 559 00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:12,009 Happy for the beer strike. 560 00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:14,711 Her father was the rare man who promised more sober 561 00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:18,182 Than he did drunk. 562 00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:22,520 Fox knew the reality of beer. 563 00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:24,922 I had been seduced by the mystery of it. 564 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:28,058 But, like fox, I, too, had become a teetotaller. 565 00:20:28,094 --> 00:20:31,929 [knock at door] 566 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,698 Are you alive? 567 00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:35,633 The room's spinning. 568 00:20:35,635 --> 00:20:38,469 Here. 569 00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:41,472 Come on, take it. 570 00:20:41,607 --> 00:20:42,773 Ugh, I don't want beer! 571 00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:45,209 It's not beer, it's flat ginger ale. 572 00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:49,680 Pretty much the same stuff you were drinking earlier, though. 573 00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:52,483 Mike jr: I remember my first beer. 574 00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:53,951 How old were you? 575 00:20:53,953 --> 00:20:55,352 Sixteen. 576 00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:57,021 Wait, I had my first beer before you did? 577 00:20:57,156 --> 00:21:00,190 Ha-ha, shut up! 578 00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:03,894 And hey, saying yes to things doesn't make you tough. 579 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:06,029 Saying no does. 580 00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:09,500 Don't let people push you into things. 581 00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:11,369 Adult mark: My brother was right. 582 00:21:11,504 --> 00:21:15,106 Why worry about peer pressure when I barely had any peers? 583 00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:18,775 I would be on my own personal beer strike for a long time. 584 00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:21,779 [gagging] 585 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,180 [vomiting] 586 00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:26,384 ♪ 587 00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:30,120 ♪ 588 00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:34,258 ♪ 589 00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:38,329 ♪ 590 00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:42,666 ♪ 591 00:21:42,669 --> 00:21:46,504 ♪ 592 00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:50,074 ♪