1 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:12,480 (LOW, SOMBRE MUSIC) 2 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:23,720 You lied to me, my whole life. Don't blame him. 3 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:28,040 I'll blame who I like! You're as bad as each other. 4 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:29,600 We did what we thought was best. 5 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:33,680 Oh, the best being to cover it up, in the hope that I'd never find out? 6 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:35,680 We didn't know you were gonna be famous. 7 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:37,240 Speak for yourself. 8 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:39,680 I mean, we didn't know the papers were gonna come digging. 9 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:41,880 And- and that's the reason why you're telling me now, 10 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:44,120 because- because you've been found out? 11 00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:45,880 That's heroic. 12 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:47,320 Well, what could I do? 13 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:55,160 You stood there, while people said, 'Oh George, she's got your eyes, 14 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:58,280 she's got your smile, she's got your sense of humour.' 15 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,640 I wanted it to be true. I wanted to believe in unicorns! 16 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,720 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 17 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:08,080 (SNIFFLES) 18 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:17,320 I'm struggling to understand why you didn't tell me. 19 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:24,039 I thought that if you knew... 20 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:27,000 ..I wasn't your... 21 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:29,200 ..dad... 22 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:31,960 ..that I would lose you. 23 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:40,759 Well, you've lost me anyway. You can see yourselves out. 24 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:47,000 # ..nothing left to feel 25 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:51,039 # You don't have to say you love me 26 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:53,039 # Just be close at hand 27 00:01:54,039 --> 00:01:57,240 # You don't have to stay forever 28 00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,920 # I will understand 29 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:05,600 # Believe me, believe me 30 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:10,479 # You don't have to say you love me 31 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:13,280 # Just be close at hand # 32 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:18,280 Right, pancake day. Let's get it on its feet. 33 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:22,000 OK, I'm on my feet. 34 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,680 Should we wait for Sophie? 35 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:26,880 She'll be along. 36 00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:28,520 Excuse me, sir. 37 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:32,000 Please, can I ask you a bit of a stupid question? 38 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,920 Please, call me Dennis, and there are no stupid questions. 39 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:40,960 How do you get to make the furniture and people all small, 40 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,600 so you can squeeze us into the television? 41 00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:46,920 I love Greta. (CHUCKLING) 42 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:48,640 She gets him every time. Ah. Yeah. 43 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:50,240 Sorry, couldn't resist. 44 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:52,760 Actually, I still don't know how it works. (LAUGHS) 45 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,800 Soph. Morning Soph.Morning. 46 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:59,560 We need a pancake. Bill, please may we borrow your hat? 47 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,080 I'm not putting my titfer in that manky pan.(LAUGHTER) 48 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:03,520 We've gotta use something. 49 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:05,200 Oh, hang on. 50 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,960 Voila. Are they what I think they are? 51 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,720 Why have you got your knickers in your bag? 52 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,520 You never know when you'll need a clean pair. Do you, Soph? 53 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,440 Oh, you are joking. 54 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,280 See? My mum always said, 'Always carry a spare pair. 55 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,240 Always.' Did your mum say that? 56 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:26,600 My auntie. 57 00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:29,840 'You could be caught in an earthquake, 58 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:31,600 you could be struck by lightning.' 59 00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:33,480 Yeah, right, and just your pants fall off? 60 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:36,240 Well, stranger things have happened. 61 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,480 Have they though? (LAUGHTER) 62 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:44,000 Sophie, could you help me look at the next scene? 63 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:51,720 This brewed about an hour ago, it's strong as anything, 64 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:52,960 look at that. 65 00:03:57,079 --> 00:03:58,560 I could be anybody. 66 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,040 If he's not me dad, am I even funny? 67 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,440 I don't know who I am. (CRYING) 68 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,040 Sorry. 69 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,520 Sorry. (LOW, SOMBRE MUSIC) 70 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:21,160 We don't have to do this today if you don't want to. 71 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,240 No, come on, Dennis. 72 00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:31,360 We've got work to do. 73 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,680 Right, come on, lads, let's crack on. It's pancake day! 74 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:38,320 # Land of 1000 Dances # 75 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:41,480 So, here she is with her pan in one hand and an iron 76 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,680 in the other, and Barbara calls out— 77 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,360 Don't forget to toss it! 78 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,040 Right, but she tosses the iron... 79 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,560 ..and she smashes Barbara's favourite lamp. 80 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,000 Barbara enters with a towel on her head, and she says — 81 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,440 Is everything alright? 82 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,480 Smashing. 83 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:00,480 Good enough for you? 84 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:02,360 Not bad. (MUSIC ENDS) 85 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,640 We weren't expecting you until this afternoon. 86 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,160 Ted's our comedy boss. 87 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:15,480 Oh, I see. Great casting. 88 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:18,280 'I'm very stern, I'm the boss of TV.' 89 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:19,480 In real life! 90 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:25,080 The head of light entertainment. Yes, this is Greta Walker. 91 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:28,120 Nice to meet you, Greta. 92 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:32,240 Nice to meet you also, Your Lordship. 93 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,720 Well, do carry on. 94 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,560 Um, I'm confused. 95 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,960 Which of them is meant to be the straight one? 96 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,520 There isn't a straight one. 97 00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:53,080 I'm not entirely sure the public are going to wear that. 98 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,600 Two funny women? 99 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:58,320 Nothing has changed. 100 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:02,080 I now issue a call to arms. CROWD: Yes! 101 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:06,440 Just to clarify, arms in the air to vote, that is. 102 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:08,240 Not shooters, Susan. (LAUGHTER) 103 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:13,240 If you agree to strike action, raise them high! 104 00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:14,840 (CHEERS) 105 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:19,640 Oh, hello. What's this? 106 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:30,320 It's a termination of employment notice. 107 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,320 I've been let go. 108 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:38,440 Gosh. I wasn't expecting that. (LAUGHS) 109 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:41,800 Oh dear. 110 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:44,920 Oh no. 111 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,400 (LOW, SOMBRE MUSIC) 112 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,040 Yeah, so, um... 113 00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:59,159 .if management think that they can silence us by silencing 114 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,320 our union rep, then they can have another think. 115 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,080 On top of that think. 116 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:07,640 We will continue to fight, in the name of our fearless leader, 117 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:09,920 Miss— what is your first name? 118 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:11,760 Minky. Minky? 119 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:14,520 Blimey. 120 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:19,280 Right. In the name of our fearless leader, Miss Minky Sykes. 121 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,560 (APPLAUSE) 122 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:25,360 Women all over are speaking out, 123 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:29,800 so let's join together with them and march to Trafalgar Square. 124 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,360 (APPLAUSE) 125 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:39,080 Ta. 126 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:48,080 Oh, hello. What you doing here? 127 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:51,200 Actually, I was hoping to buy you a little snifter. 128 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,600 Give you a chance to tell your side of things. 129 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,640 My side of things about what? 130 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:58,840 Well, you know. About your background. 131 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:04,000 I'm Barbara Parker from Blackpool. Everyone knows I changed my name. 132 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:07,040 Yes, but they don't know your real, real name, do they? 133 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:08,880 Yet. 134 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:13,880 It's you. 135 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,120 Me and your mum had a lovely little chat. 136 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,880 You've absolutely no right to talk to my family. 137 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:24,240 It must have been hard, carrying that shame all these years. 138 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:30,920 So, yeah, shall we have a little drinkie? I'm gasping. 139 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,240 Most of the pubs on Fleet Street won't serve women. 140 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,400 Won't serve women, or won't serve you? 141 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,120 Why are you coming after me? 142 00:08:39,159 --> 00:08:41,799 Well, the public have the right to know the truth about a big TV 143 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,560 star like you. You're meant to be the girl next door. 144 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:45,840 That's a lie. 145 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,120 Oh, suit yourself. You've got my number. 146 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:50,240 Give me a call. 147 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:53,440 I'd much rather hear the words from your mouth than have to... 148 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:55,200 fill in the blanks myself. 149 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:10,040 Hello, you. Hiya, 150 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,560 how was playtime with your funny friends? 151 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:14,400 It's different now Bill's back. 152 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,160 Yeah? Good different? 153 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,560 Sort of. 154 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:22,280 Working with Soph, I've- I've realised I can actually write 155 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:23,600 jokes without Bill. 156 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,480 You actually alright? 157 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:29,240 Tone? Uh? 158 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:33,520 Every time you ask me that, I think you're asking if you're alright. 159 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:38,200 Are you alright? 160 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,320 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 161 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:44,840 No. 162 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,400 I- I'm not, really. 163 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:53,280 I've just been thinking about the future again, and I'm feeling— 164 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:56,600 Sweaty? Anxious? Convinced you're having a heart attack? 165 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:59,000 What if this whole baby thing— Wait? 166 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,200 We're having a baby? 167 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:04,280 That's a good call-back. 168 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,960 No, what if it's... 169 00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:11,800 ..something that I just can't do? 170 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:21,760 Look, one day soon, right, 171 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,800 a baby's gonna come out of my vagina 172 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:27,560 and we're gonna do our very best, whatever that best may be. 173 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:29,600 And if it doesn't work... 174 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,280 ..we'll try another best. 175 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:39,400 You are a diamond. 176 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:40,600 (GENTLE MUSIC) 177 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,360 Well, I'm not gonna argue with that. 178 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:51,840 Darling, how wonderful. What an unexpected pleasure. 179 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,440 Hi, Pea. Busy day at court? 180 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:57,840 Well, I spent the morning defending a little gangland shooting. 181 00:10:57,880 --> 00:10:59,400 Why have you still got your robes on? 182 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:03,040 Oh, well I spent the afternoon having spine-tingling sex 183 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,640 with Charlie. He loves it when I wear my robes. 184 00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:07,680 At least someone's having fun. 185 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:09,880 Oh. 186 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,680 Hello again. Hiya Charlie.You alright? 187 00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:18,360 Oh. Crikey. Oop. 188 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,560 Listen, I know we shouldn't objectify the male form, 189 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,080 but yum, am I right? 190 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:24,320 Oh, that's cheered me up a bit actually. 191 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:27,920 Now, look, god knows I love an impromptu party, 192 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:31,440 but you lot look about as festive as a bunch of bad professional mourners 193 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:33,200 at an East End wake. What gives? 194 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,840 (OVERLAPPING CHATTER) 195 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:39,080 Order! Order! Order! 196 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:44,080 Sit down. One pathetic bleat at a time, please. 197 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,800 Sophie. 198 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:48,840 Your friend, that bloody Lynda Jay, she's got a story on my parents, 199 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,560 and she says if I don't do an exclusive interview with her, 200 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,920 then she's going to make it up. 201 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:54,640 And if it comes out, then I'm ruined. 202 00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:56,840 That hack Lynda Jay is no friend of mine. 203 00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,680 Well, I can have this Lynda lady taken out if you like, Soph. 204 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,760 Oh, that is very sweet, Charlie, but I can't condone violence. 205 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:06,800 Although a judicious kneecapping can send quite a strong message. 206 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:08,840 (GASPS) No! No? No. 207 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:10,640 No. No, no, no, no, no. 208 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:16,160 Crikey. So, I suggest we scoop her. 209 00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:19,360 Like an ice cream? 210 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,960 Do the story before Lynda Jay does. 211 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,280 If only we knew a top-notch journalist. 212 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,040 Me? Yes! 213 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,560 Why are we just sitting around waiting for lairy Lynda 214 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:36,520 to drop a bomb on Sophie's life, when Diane could do an exclusive? 215 00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:37,800 But what would we be saying? 216 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,920 We wouldn't be saying anything. You would. 217 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:43,200 Yeah, Diane could write it down, all brainy and then...Exactly. 218 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:47,240 But- but what if the story comes out and I still get the sack? 219 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:49,280 Well, that would be the risk either way. 220 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:51,320 But at least this way you'd be telling your truth, 221 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,880 your whole truth, and nothing but your truth. 222 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:58,080 Let's do it. (SOFT UPBEAT MUSIC) 223 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:00,000 Yes. Good. 224 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,760 My words, my way. 225 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:04,600 Oh goodie. (LAUGHTER) 226 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:07,920 (MUSIC FADES, ENDS) 227 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:11,440 So Sophie, do you wanna find your real father? 228 00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:13,920 Find out who you are? 229 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:17,200 Maybe one day I'll go looking. 230 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,760 But, oh, I don't know, maybe... 231 00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:28,360 Maybe my story is about the family I had, 232 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,200 and not the family I didn't have. 233 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,920 There's only one place to start. 234 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:41,320 (DIALLING) (LOW, SOMBRE MUSIC) 235 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:52,120 It was the war. Gloria and I were courting. 236 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:55,080 My regiment went off to fight. 237 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,720 The Americans flew in. 238 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:00,520 GIs looking like movie stars. 239 00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:03,560 You know, overpaid, oversexed, and over here. 240 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:07,760 And he swept your mother off her feet. 241 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:13,040 I came back home to marry my sweetheart. 242 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:14,360 But she was pregnant? 243 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:18,400 Ah, soldier boy ditched her. 244 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,680 He had a wife back home. 245 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:24,760 The public shaming would've ruined her. 246 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:31,520 Love's funny though, isn't it? 247 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:35,560 It starts out like a fairy-tale. 248 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,280 And once upon a time... 249 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:41,320 ..I loved her. 250 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:48,000 But, you know, she was always searching for something. 251 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,240 She left me anyway. 252 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:56,600 Sophie, when people read this, they might judge you. 253 00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:00,520 They might be shocked, disgusted even. 254 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:03,360 So, why speak out? 255 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:06,160 I'm speaking out because— 256 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,640 Because there is a revolution going on. 257 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:13,480 Because we have to speak out. Hello. Hello. 258 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:15,840 This is Marjorie Harrison from shoes, 259 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:20,440 and if Sophie would effing well come on this equal pay march with us, 260 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:23,320 then people would have to sit up and listen. 261 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,240 Marjorie, stop disrupting! 262 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:28,600 No, Marj is right. There is a revolution going on. 263 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,280 And I won't live my life like my mother did, 264 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:35,120 hiding in the shadows in fear of being found out. 265 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:41,720 This story is mine, and no one is going to tell is but me. 266 00:15:47,203 --> 00:15:50,080 # Edwin Starr: Headline News # 267 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:54,080 # Extra, extra, read all about it 268 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:57,600 # Extra, extra, read all about it 269 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:02,880 # I wanna spread news all around 270 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:08,000 # I found a love that I've been looking for 271 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:11,160 # Now I don't have to look no more 272 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:13,240 # And it's headline news 273 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:15,600 # Don't you head them say it 274 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:18,600 # Extra, extra, read all about it 275 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:21,880 # Extra, extra, read all about it 276 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:25,320 # Extra, extra, read all about it 277 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:28,440 # Extra, extra, read all about it... 278 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:31,000 Careful, that one-armed bandit, it's a money pit. 279 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:39,320 George, get in here. (MUSIC FADES) 280 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:44,560 This article opens the door to Hollywood. Your dad was a GI? 281 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:47,280 That's instant dual citizenship and a green card. 282 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:50,480 But I don't think I'm ready to come to Hollywood just yet. 283 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,920 Don't tell me you still wanna do your little TV comedy show? 284 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:57,760 If Ted Sargent hasn't blown a fuse at the news and cancelled it. 285 00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,080 Have you seen this? 286 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,320 # She brings out the best in me 287 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,880 # Lights me up like a Christmas tree... 288 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:06,680 Oh dear god. 289 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:09,200 Is she actively trying to break me? 290 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:10,960 # It's headline news... 291 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:14,720 No. I think she's wonderful. 292 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:18,119 (SOFT MUSIC) 293 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:25,200 We're gonna need more fruit. 294 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,160 This iron's pretty heavy. (GRUNTS) 295 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,840 Oh, that got me right there. 296 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,680 Your tummy? In my baby maker. 297 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,200 Funny sound effect there. 298 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:35,920 Oh yeah. 299 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:39,120 Go on, a bit of jazz. The, uh, double base tights. 300 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:41,920 Lost a string. 301 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,640 (LAUGHTER) (MUSIC ENDS) 302 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,560 Right. Now all we need to do is finish the bloody thing. 303 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:50,200 Alright, Dennis. It's good. 304 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,200 Oh god, I'm so sorry, I've got to go. 305 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:53,320 What? Where? 306 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:55,680 Never ask a woman that. She might tell you. 307 00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:58,560 Let me. 308 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:00,280 Thank you. 309 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,480 Oh, um, I read the article. 310 00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:04,480 I'm proud of you. 311 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,520 Thank you. (GENTLE MUSIC) 312 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:14,400 Excuse me. Hello. Oh, hello. 313 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:18,640 I read the papers. I thought you were awfully brave to... 314 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,920 Oh, well, well thank you. 315 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:22,600 ..tell your story your way 316 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:25,280 and not let the tabloids dictate the narrative. 317 00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:28,240 I daresay I've made certain assumptions. 318 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,960 Look, I'm sorry it's all been so bloody. 319 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,440 I met Dennis when I was at university. 320 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:40,080 He was the second man I ever kissed, first I ever loved. 321 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,440 Just kids, really. 322 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,520 I understand. He's still your husband. 323 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:52,240 I want you to know, 324 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:56,200 I'm not making things difficult for the sake of it. 325 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,880 What is it that you want? 326 00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:05,560 I... 327 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:10,000 I just want him to be happy. 328 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:13,000 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 329 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,320 (PHONE RINGING) 330 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,360 Hello, Battersea Dogs Home. 331 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,480 (HOWLS & BARKS) 332 00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:26,960 Yes, yes, yes, no, don't worry, I'll tell him. 333 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,280 Tone? Yeah, that was the hospital. 334 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:37,680 Apparently June's broken some water. Oh... 335 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:43,880 Right chaps, let's go. Yes, come on Tone. Come on Tony. 336 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,760 # Bobby Fuller Four: I Fought The Law # 337 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,840 Come on. Now. Come on. 338 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,400 Oh wait, I need, I need my, uh, my typing. 339 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,000 I forgot my camera. Bye Greta. 340 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:02,880 # A-breakin' rocks in the hot sun 341 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,920 # I fought the law and the law won 342 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,880 # I fought the law and the law won 343 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:10,200 We're having a baby! (CLAMOUR) 344 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,640 # I needed money 'cause I had none Suger, Tone, sugar. 345 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:20,520 # I fought the law and the law won Taxi! 346 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,880 Oh my god, Dennis! Dennis! 347 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,880 St Joseph's, Maternity Wing. What, are you delivering a baby? 348 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:27,920 And a television show. 349 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,680 I can't get out. Come on Tony. 350 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,520 Oh my god, Tony! 351 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,880 Alright, here we go. We're having a baby. 352 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,440 Alright, interior, day. 353 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:40,360 Barbara is in the kitchen. What if she really is having a baby? 354 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,760 What are you talking about? Barbara's not even pregnant! 355 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,040 I'm talking about June! Shush! 356 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:48,200 Shush, calm. Deep breaths now. 357 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:52,200 BOTH: What do we want, equal pay, when do we want it, yesterday. 358 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,040 What do we want? WOMEN Equal pay. 359 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,640 When do we want it? WOMEN: Now. 360 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,040 No, yesterday, we want it yesterday. 361 00:20:58,080 --> 00:20:59,360 What do we want? Equal pay. 362 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,280 When do we want it? Yesterday. 363 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:02,840 Equal pay or we walk away. 364 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:05,520 NEWS: The advice avoiding Trafalgar Square, where a large number 365 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:07,600 of women are congregating to demonstrate. 366 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:09,840 # I fought the law and the law won 367 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:13,120 By the time we get to the hospital the baby will be in primary school! 368 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:18,640 CROWD: Equal pay or we walk away, equal pay or we walk away. 369 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,440 Oh, oh, oh stop here please. 370 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:24,800 What do we want? WOMEN: Equal pay. 371 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:26,560 When do we want it? Yesterday. 372 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,440 Tony, Tony, good luck. 373 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:32,200 Give that baby a big kiss from Auntie Sophie. 374 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:37,120 Get in, get in! Go, go. 375 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,480 (CHANTING CONTINUES) 376 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:46,480 (CHANTING CONTINUES) # I fought the law and the law won 377 00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:50,960 # I fought the law and the law won 378 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,640 I didn't think you would make it. 379 00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:59,040 Well, I had nowhere better to be. 380 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:00,720 Come on then, you ready? Yeah. 381 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:03,000 What do we want? Equal pay. 382 00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:04,920 When do we want it? Yesterday. 383 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:09,600 Equal pay or we walk away! Equal pay or we walk away! 384 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:13,120 Equal pay, equal pay. 385 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,600 # I needed money 'cause I had none 386 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,760 # I fought the law and the law won (WHISTLE BLOWS) 387 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:22,280 # I fought the law and the law won 388 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:25,160 Right everyone, attention please. 389 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:28,600 Showing her support to the cause, the one and only, 390 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:31,480 from off the bloody telly, Sophie Straw! 391 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:35,040 (CHEERS & APPLAUSE) 392 00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:36,360 Equal pay! 393 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:37,960 Over her Sophie. 394 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:40,760 Right, now, this march is about us standing together. 395 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:43,320 Yes, so raise your banners high. 396 00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:45,400 And remember, this is a peaceful protests. 397 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:48,120 Yeah, we don't use our placards to clout anyone, alright? 398 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:51,120 I mean, unless they disagree with us. This geezer. 399 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:53,360 Let me take that. 400 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:56,280 No, get off, she was having a— It was a joke. 401 00:22:56,320 --> 00:23:00,720 Here, mate, mate, come on. This is a peaceful protest, alright? 402 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:01,960 Alright? 403 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:18,280 Right, so, er... What do we want? 404 00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:19,760 CROWD: Equal pay. 405 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,440 When do we want it? CROWD: Yesterday. 406 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:28,280 # We shall over— (COUGHS) Oh, you alright? 407 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,600 I think I've swallowed a fly. Oh. 408 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:36,360 # We shall overcome. 409 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,040 Come on, everyone, sing with me. 410 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:44,320 # We shall overcome, 411 00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:50,200 # We shall overcome someday, 412 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:57,720 # Deep in my heart 413 00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:02,520 # I do believe... 414 00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:05,480 Yes, I've made stew. Stew for who? Stew for you? 415 00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:08,480 Stew for me.So, this is the famous rehearsal room? 416 00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:10,440 Your alternate universe. 417 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:11,760 Edith. 418 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:17,120 Are you alright? Has something happened? 419 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,520 Actually, it has, rather. I've been offered a job. 420 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:24,240 With the CBC, as an arts correspondent. 421 00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:27,240 It's a wonderful opportunity. 422 00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:29,680 The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation? 423 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,120 Yep. Isn't it a hoot? 424 00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:35,000 Would you like some tea? Yes, please. 425 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:47,320 So, you're emigrating to Canada, with Vernon? 426 00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:50,000 Canada, yes, Vernon, no. 427 00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:57,520 It's rather as if I've woken from some sort of hallucination. 428 00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:01,400 I'm so sorry, Dennis. 429 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:04,840 For which bit? 430 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,120 Sort of, all of it. 431 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,320 I've rather made a mess of things. 432 00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:13,120 For Vernon Whitfield. 433 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,680 Well, I recall you telling me 434 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:22,680 that Vernon was an intellectual leviathan 435 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:24,760 that made you feel like Aphrodite. 436 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,560 Vernon is an absolute horse's cock. 437 00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:32,080 I suppose I was flattered that he wanted to hear my opinions. 438 00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:36,240 In fact, he just wanted to hear his opinions repeated back to him by me. 439 00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:39,960 (KNOCKING) 440 00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:44,440 Can I, er...? 441 00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:50,560 So, go on then. 442 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:56,480 I'm assuming you've come all the way down here to read me the riot act 443 00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,440 for what I said, which was the truth, 444 00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:02,680 and was gonna come out anyways. No, no, I came here to thank you. 445 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,440 You see, I've been living under a cloud of shame since I left 446 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:08,600 you and, you know, George. 447 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:15,240 And I probably brought it on myself, but people can be very unkind. 448 00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:18,400 Your words... 449 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,520 ..they released me. 450 00:26:25,360 --> 00:26:27,360 Sorry, I've got to get ready. 451 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:33,200 I just wanted to say that... 452 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:37,520 I just wanted to say I admire you, that's all. 453 00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:41,400 You've done so much. 454 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,520 Yeah, maybe too much. 455 00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:49,240 (GAGS) 456 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,160 Does perfume go off? 457 00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:54,280 Urgh. 458 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:56,360 You alright? 459 00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:08,680 What? 460 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:12,680 Nothing. I, uh... 461 00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:17,880 Oh love. 462 00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:22,760 I'm not gonna ask you who he is, but... 463 00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:25,400 ..does he know? 464 00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:29,680 Nobody knows. 465 00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:35,840 I thought it couldn't be true. 466 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:40,600 He's married. 467 00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:43,720 And... 468 00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:47,480 And the divorce is going to take three years. 469 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:50,960 And... I've ruined everything. 470 00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:53,920 Including my career. 471 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:56,640 They'll sack me if they find out. 472 00:27:58,360 --> 00:28:01,680 I thought it would be rather good to be as far away as possible 473 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:04,440 from my impossibly pious parents. 474 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:07,000 I can start again where no one knows me, 475 00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:08,800 say goodbye to Mrs Mahindra, 476 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:11,920 and hello to plain old Edith Claybourne-Featherstone, 477 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:13,680 single girl. What do you think? 478 00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:22,760 Edith... 479 00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:27,680 ..are you allowing me to divorce you? 480 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:32,040 You didn't start this war. 481 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:36,840 And that funny girl really loves you. 482 00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:51,760 Listen, I know this is none of my business, but... 483 00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:55,240 .times are very different now. 484 00:28:56,880 --> 00:29:00,600 And if this isn't right for you, you do not have to go through with it. 485 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:03,360 I'll stand by you. 486 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:04,840 I will help you. 487 00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:07,520 If you'll let me. 488 00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:15,960 You love him, don't you? 489 00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:24,640 Maybe you should tell him. 490 00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:30,640 It's a tough road, and while I... 491 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:35,000 ..wish I'd done things differently, 492 00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:36,560 I don't regret it. 493 00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:42,200 How could I regret having you? 494 00:29:51,006 --> 00:29:53,920 (UPBEAT MUSIC) (CHATTER) 495 00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,480 (MUSIC FADES, ENDS) (KNOCKING) 496 00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:03,600 Dennis? 497 00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:09,080 Oh, hiya. Hey Sophie. 498 00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:11,480 Is it alright if we, er... if we do a line run? 499 00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:14,480 Yeah, yeah, yeah, course. Course. 500 00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:17,640 So, I say, 501 00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:22,120 'Hiya, I've- I've come about the rented spare room. 502 00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:23,760 I'd like to take a look, please.' 503 00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:28,120 And then I say, 'How do you know about the spare room? 504 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:32,200 'Cause it hasn't been— hasn't been magasize— it hasn't. 505 00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:34,640 It hasn't been advertised yet!' 506 00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:37,600 Oh my god, shit, sorry Soph, I mean, I sound like— 507 00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:40,000 I feel like I'm eating cake. Do I sound like I'm eating cake? 508 00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:41,640 (KNOCKING) Or glue?Dennis? 509 00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:45,680 Hey. Greta. 510 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:47,320 Yeah, just doing some lines. 511 00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:53,000 Um... I was just hoping for a quiet word with— 512 00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:56,280 Oh, OK, yes. 513 00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:58,600 Me, me too. Um, Den, um... 514 00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:03,040 Barbara? Oh Barbara! Sophie. Sorry, Barbara. Barbara, Barbara, Barbara. 515 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:07,720 (LAUGHS) I'm so sorry if I'm intruding, I just wanted to say 516 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:09,800 I read that article by your friend Diane. 517 00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:12,240 Oh, Barbara, thank you for saying such lovely things. 518 00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:13,400 I did my best. 519 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:16,360 You know, when you left, I felt like a bit of me went missing. 520 00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:19,840 A kidney or a liver or something, I don't know, a gallstone, a spleen? 521 00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:21,840 What is a spleen? I don't know what I'm saying. 522 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,160 I've been like a watering can ever since I read it! 523 00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:25,720 Oh, come here you big dafty. 524 00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:30,080 Right. 525 00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:37,240 My only quibble with Diane's article was her description of my hat. 526 00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:38,360 Right. 527 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:42,400 Now, the one I wore when she met me was my second-best hat, 528 00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:43,600 but tonight— 529 00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:46,480 Well, tonight, you look like the Queen. 530 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:49,080 Oh, Barbara, do I? 531 00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:50,240 Yeah. 532 00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:53,760 Dennis. Yes. 533 00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:56,640 I wanted to- Flowers for Miss Straw 534 00:31:56,680 --> 00:32:00,160 from a Mr Mark Allen in Los Angeles. 535 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,600 Barbara they're beautiful. I'll put them in the sink. 536 00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:05,560 BILL: Wait, Tony. Oh hello. 537 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:08,160 Tony! And? I've got a little goddaughter! 538 00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,080 (SQUEALS) Is there a name? 539 00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:13,400 Yeah, we're gonna call her Bill. No, we're not, definitely. 540 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:15,080 Oh, congratulations Tone. 541 00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:17,360 Dennis. Congratulations Tony. 542 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,200 (EXCITED CHATTER) 543 00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:25,280 Dennis. I have something I need to tell you. I have... 544 00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:28,560 I need to practice, I need to practice. It's just me here... 545 00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:30,200 Ladies and gentlemen... 546 00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,320 ALL: It's showtime! 547 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,520 # Wanda Jackson: Funnel of Love # 548 00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:35,960 It's showtime. 549 00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:40,800 # Here I go Falling down, down, down 550 00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:42,640 # My mind is blank 551 00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:45,720 # My head is spinning around and around 552 00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:49,280 # As I go deep into the funnel of love 553 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,640 # It's such a crazy, crazy feeling... 554 00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:55,400 Welcome to Flat Birds! (APPLAUSE) 555 00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:57,760 Thank you for coming. Thank you. 556 00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:01,280 (WOLF WHISTLE) Oh, I see the vicar's in. 557 00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:03,440 (LAUGHTER) (MUSIC FADES, ENDS) 558 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:06,880 Anyway, this is a situation comedy. 559 00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:09,040 It's a little bit about my life. 560 00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:12,880 I tipped up here without a bob in my pocket or a plan in my head. 561 00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:15,640 I just wanted to muck about and make people laugh. 562 00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:21,800 And I was encouraged to do that by one man in particular, 563 00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:24,920 who made me laugh every day. 564 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:28,960 Having you in my corner... 565 00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:31,800 ..it's all the dad I ever needed. 566 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,320 (GENTLE SOMBRE MUSIC) 567 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,840 Oh, enough said of that, or I'll smudge my mascara! 568 00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:45,560 (LAUGHS) Right let's do this, shall we? Enjoy, everyone! 569 00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:47,280 (APPLAUSE) 570 00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:52,160 Alright, let's take it from the top, please. 571 00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,040 Rolling to record. And good luck, studio. 572 00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:55,680 Good luck studio. 573 00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:59,680 Five, four, three... 574 00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:05,720 Come on, Greta, you can do it. 575 00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:10,560 Who puts pepper in a pancake? I do. 576 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:15,000 (SNEEZES) Oh, sorry. Here, give me that, I'm good at flipping. 577 00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:16,600 Camera two next. 578 00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:21,120 (SPLAT) BOTH: Oh, flipping heck. 579 00:34:21,159 --> 00:34:22,760 (LAUGHTER) (KNOCKING) 580 00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:25,360 It's the ruddy landlord! I'm not meant to have lodgers! 581 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,360 Hide!(KNOCKING) 582 00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:31,719 (APPLAUSE) 583 00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:33,639 Greetings, Marcia. 584 00:34:33,679 --> 00:34:37,880 Here to do my customary check for underwear — wear and tear. 585 00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:38,920 Now? 586 00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:43,280 Yes. It's like a knicker museum! (LAUGHTER) 587 00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:46,679 (SNEEZES) (GASPS) 588 00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:49,480 There's someone else in the flat. 589 00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:53,560 Now, you know the rules about gentleman callers. 590 00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:57,160 I do hope that there's been no heavy petting. 591 00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:59,800 Oh, no, Mr Travis, no, nothing like that. 592 00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:01,640 I... I, uh, it's my mother. 593 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:04,280 Mother? (LAUGHTER) 594 00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:07,520 I would very much like to meet your mother. Yes. 595 00:35:09,720 --> 00:35:12,440 Your mother? What's wrong with your sister? 596 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:13,960 Oh, where do I start? 597 00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:17,320 (LAUGHTER) Aftershave on the nob, tick. 598 00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:19,920 She's Spanish, she doesn't speak a word of English, so she can't 599 00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:22,840 talk to you, Mr Travis, I'm afraid. (LAUGHTER) 600 00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,960 Hello, my duckie, alright my old China? 601 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,680 You're lovely. 602 00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:31,920 Enchante, so beautiful. 603 00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:34,480 Oh, don't kiss me, Mr Travis. 604 00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:36,880 Why don't you give our Marcia a kiss? 605 00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,200 She ain't had a kiss in years. (LAUGHTER) 606 00:35:40,720 --> 00:35:43,240 Ow! Sorry, sorry. 607 00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:47,280 Did Greta just slap Rodney in the face? 608 00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:50,080 Oh my god. She's completely out of her depth. 609 00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:51,800 You keep— is it — 610 00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:54,160 That's the slap. Don't do that. OK. 611 00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:57,160 Can we do it— Dennis, sorry, can we just do it one more time? 612 00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:00,240 Alright, one more time, please. Steady on camera three. 613 00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:02,560 She ain't had a kiss in years. 614 00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,000 Oh, Mr Travis, you'll have to ignore my mother. 615 00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:08,160 She's been on the sherry, so she's half cut. 616 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:11,400 Half cut? Well, maybe I could take you both dancing. 617 00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:13,800 Mother can't, because of her— well, 'cause of her leg. 618 00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:16,040 What's wrong with her leg? Well, it's— 619 00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:18,720 She's dried. Oh shit. 620 00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:20,680 What's wrong with her leg? Well... 621 00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:23,440 Is this part of it? 622 00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:26,080 Well... it's- it's haunted! She's got a haunted leg! 623 00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:27,480 A haunted leg? 624 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:30,880 And now she's gone off script. A rank amateur. 625 00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:34,360 Woo! (LAUGHTER) 626 00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:40,480 Soph's pulled a haunted leg out of the bag.Oh. 627 00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:45,160 (LAUGHTER) I'm going, 628 00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:48,080 I'll be back to do gussets, I mean fittings. 629 00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:51,640 And to think for a moment, I thought you had an illegal lodger. 630 00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:52,760 (LAUGHTER) 631 00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,120 Now, shame, I never did get that pancake. 632 00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:57,320 (SPLAT) (OOHS AND LAUGHTER) 633 00:36:59,240 --> 00:37:01,800 Sugar! Lemon! Here ya go. 634 00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:03,160 (LAUGHTER) 635 00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:07,600 Out you get Mr Travis. Else that ghost will get ya. 636 00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:09,600 Bye Mr Travis. (APPLAUSE) 637 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:15,960 You were so good. 638 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,840 Alright, let's set up for the next scene, please. 639 00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:21,440 Alright. What was that? OK now, oh, do you want to go? 640 00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:24,040 I'm just— I'm gonna need a second, I'm just gonna need a second. 641 00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:31,360 What's happening? Where's- where's she gone? 642 00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:32,600 Hm? 643 00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:37,000 Greta, are you alright? 644 00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,800 I can't do this, I'm letting you down. I'm not an actor. 645 00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:41,720 No, no, no, no, you're not letting me down. 646 00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:44,840 You don't have to be anyone else, just be you. You're brilliant. 647 00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:48,600 I'm not. Everyone's thinking, 'Why is she giving this barmaid a part? 648 00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:49,840 What are you doing here?' 649 00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:51,680 I dunno, I just thought I'd be better. 650 00:37:52,720 --> 00:37:53,920 Are you OK? 651 00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:56,560 Oh yeah, I just think that aftershave is— 652 00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:00,440 Ladies and gentlemen, if you just give us a moment, 653 00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:02,400 we will resume filming shortly. Thank you. 654 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:04,600 (CROWD MUTTERING) 655 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:07,640 Do you feel sick again? 656 00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:11,520 Soph? 657 00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:18,560 Are you— 658 00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:25,240 Oh god... OK, that's OK. That's OK. 659 00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:27,560 I won't tell anyone, I promise. 660 00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:30,600 Let's go out there, we'll do the show, we'll— 661 00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:32,080 Knockers and gnashers, baby. 662 00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:34,920 We'll do the show, it's gonna be all fine, everything's gonna be fine. 663 00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:37,880 Yeah, we'll do it together. We'll do it together.Come on.OK. 664 00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:41,760 (APPLAUSE) 665 00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:47,520 So, what was that all about, hm? 666 00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:50,160 About five minutes of buttock-clenching agony. 667 00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:53,440 Cue the music, please. 668 00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,760 # Summer Cha Cha # 669 00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:10,280 (LAUGHTER) 670 00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:17,600 (DRUM ROLL) 671 00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:18,760 (CYMBAL CRASH) 672 00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:20,280 (DRUM ROLL, CRASH) 673 00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:27,440 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 674 00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:39,680 (TRUMPETS FLARE) 675 00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:48,880 Ow! 676 00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:01,480 (GRUMBLING) 677 00:40:08,720 --> 00:40:11,840 (CHA CHA MUSIC CONTINUES) 678 00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:19,840 (LAUGHTER) 679 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,920 (MUSIC SWELLS, ENDS) 680 00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:29,520 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 681 00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:34,640 (LIGHT, UPBEAT MUSIC) 682 00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:40,800 Rather good. 683 00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:56,600 (MUSIC FADES, ENDS) 684 00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:09,480 I think we can call that a flat-out success. 685 00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:10,880 Ted. Congratulations. 686 00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:13,240 It really could not have gone any better. 687 00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:17,920 Possibly the biggest success of my career, and yours. 688 00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:21,480 I think we should get stuck into the series straight away. 689 00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:23,800 It's a winning formula. 690 00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:26,880 I'm, oh, I'm alright, thanks, Ted. 691 00:41:28,240 --> 00:41:31,000 I thought you were teetotal. Mm. 692 00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:34,640 (COUGHS) Well, special occasion. 693 00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:38,480 You know, when I took this job on, 694 00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:42,680 I did imagine many such champagne moments.(KNOCKING) 695 00:41:42,720 --> 00:41:45,320 Sadly they've been few and far between. 696 00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:50,360 Um... 697 00:41:51,240 --> 00:41:54,840 ..two things. Firstly, well played for tonight. 698 00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:57,240 You were— you were amazing. (LOW, GENTLE MUSIC) 699 00:41:57,280 --> 00:41:58,520 (LAUGHS) Thank you. 700 00:41:58,560 --> 00:41:59,760 And secondly... 701 00:42:01,240 --> 00:42:03,920 ..Edith has agreed to the divorce. 702 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:10,960 (HICCUPS) (MUSIC FADES, ENDS) 703 00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:14,640 Ted. 704 00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:15,840 Mm. 705 00:42:18,240 --> 00:42:22,520 Ah. Well, (CLEARS THROAT) I will leave you to it. 706 00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:33,680 That's so great about Edith, but... Den, um... 707 00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:38,280 Sophie? 708 00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:43,600 I'm having a baby. 709 00:42:46,240 --> 00:42:47,720 We're having a baby. 710 00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:49,400 (LOW GENTLE MUSIC) 711 00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:51,920 We're having a baby? 712 00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:58,080 We're having a baby. 713 00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:04,120 No, you're not. You cannot have a baby. 714 00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:08,680 Corporate regulations forbid any unmarried expectant woman 715 00:43:08,720 --> 00:43:10,200 to appear on television. 716 00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:15,400 Oh no, wait a moment. (KNOCKING) 717 00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:18,640 Bill! Shh! Baby Bill is sleeping. 718 00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:19,840 Oh! 719 00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:25,160 (LOW CHATTER) 720 00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:34,640 Everyone. Shh! 721 00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:39,880 Some congratulations are in order. 722 00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:44,120 Firstly, a hit show. 723 00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:45,640 (QUIET CELEBRATIONS) 724 00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,800 Secondly, to the very-soon-to-be-married 725 00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:53,640 Mr and Mrs Mahindra. (GASPS/CROSS TALK) 726 00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:56,480 Are you joking? (EXCITED CHATTER) 727 00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:58,720 And also one more thing, one more thing. 728 00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:04,560 Their unexpected, but very welcome, new arrival. 729 00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:07,560 What? Oh! 730 00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:09,240 Oh, Soph! 731 00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:12,080 (HUSHED EXCITED CHATTER) 732 00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:15,360 Dennis the daddy? 733 00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:22,800 Dennis, Dennis how soon do you think you can tie the knot? 734 00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:24,680 I can get Eunice to sort out a registrar, 735 00:44:24,720 --> 00:44:26,160 but we should probably do it soon. 736 00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:29,600 No, no, no. Everyone, everyone, everyone, stop, stop, stop! 737 00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:35,040 Dennis, I really love you. 738 00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:39,920 But it should be our decision. 739 00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:45,280 We shouldn't be Mr and Mrs anybody just to keep a corporation happy. 740 00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:52,720 Well, in that case, I'm sorry to say... 741 00:44:53,720 --> 00:44:55,680 ..we will be doing the show without you. 742 00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:59,840 Oh, come on, mate, what!? You can't do that. 743 00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:02,000 Can they? 744 00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,200 Flat Birds was Sophie's idea. 745 00:45:04,240 --> 00:45:07,320 And Bill, and the other one. 746 00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:10,440 You're shitting me! She wrote it with us, Ted. 747 00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:13,360 Actual words, funny lines, her voice is all over it. 748 00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:15,200 Yeah, she's the heart and soul. 749 00:45:15,240 --> 00:45:19,040 Ted, we're onto a winning formula. You said it. 750 00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:22,320 Imagine how great it would feel 751 00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:27,760 to be part of a ground-breaking female sitcom about pregnancy, 752 00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:31,800 and single mums, and friends like Greta, 753 00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:35,680 and Diane, Marj, Bill, Tony, and all of us who don't fit the mould. 754 00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:40,000 A show that one day people can look back on and say, 755 00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:43,600 'That show changed my life.' 756 00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:46,560 # Nina Simone: Sinnerman # 757 00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:54,680 You want me to bend the rules? 758 00:45:54,720 --> 00:45:58,080 # Oh, sinnerman, where you gonna run to? 759 00:45:58,120 --> 00:45:59,840 # Sinnerman, where you gonna run to? 760 00:45:59,880 --> 00:46:01,720 No, I want you to break them. 761 00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:04,360 # Where you gonna run to? 762 00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:07,080 # All on that day 763 00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:11,120 # I cried power 764 00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:12,880 # Power 765 00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:17,840 # Power (power Lord) 766 00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:20,320 # Power (power Lord) 767 00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:24,400 # Power (power Lord) 768 00:46:24,440 --> 00:46:27,440 # Power (power Lord) 769 00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:30,960 # Power (power Lord) 770 00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:33,840 # Power (power Lord) 771 00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:42,080 Subtitles by Sky Access Services www.skyaccessibility.sky