Real Queers, Petty Drama, Drag Queen Judge!
It may not be legally binding, but it's wild.
Nicky, this is a little awkward.
It has been an awkward day.
Yeah, I don't really...
Okay, so the producers approached me earlier.
They told me that there's somebody
who wants to bring you to court.
And like, ordinarily, you're my friend.
I would want to represent you in court, but I can't.
Topher, what is she talking about?
Listen to her Nicky.
-What are you... -I'm serious.
So someone in your family contacted the producers
and said they wanted to bring you to court
because they had an issue with you.
They have a dispute with you.
Girl, what?
-I'm not kidding. -Is she's serious?
I'm...
No.
I'm serious. This is...
-I feel really... -Who?
I'm not. I can't really...
-What...? -You're about to find out.
-This is this... -Serious.
Um, this is Iconic Justice.
♪ Iconic Justice.
♪ That's so Iconic Justice
♪ Rise for your honor now.
♪ Iconic Justice
We have never had something like this happen
in the court of Iconic Justice before.
Buckle up honey, this is going to be wild.
You have to be fucking kidding me.
Now, during the court, Nicky's cousin Chris.
Chris claims that after Nicky got a boyfriend
she totally ditched him.
Will Judge Willam serve up some homestyle shade?
Oh, baby, this one's a gag.
Repeat after me.
I promise to be honest, extra and forever iconic.
But I think you should make Nicky say it again
Because she ain't always honest.
Uh...!
I promise to be honest, extra and iconic.
Girl you're definitely extra, you're definitely iconic.
But honest, is not one of Nicky's...
Let's see what you have to talk about Christopher.
Honey, ... honest without hoe
And no one is more of a hoe than Nicky.
Today is a family affair.
We have our very own Nicky Monet and her cousin Christopher.
You two used to be each other's closest relatives.
But that all changed recently.
Do you want to unpack that a little bit.
So basically, Your Honor,
me and Nicky were like this literally, since we were born.
Our birthdays are one week apart.
So we've known each other all of our lives.
And I got to the point where I felt like
Nicky never hit me up
unless it was about herself, it was about work.
or she needed help from me.
So you know, something 2020 has taught me was that
I don't want one way relationships
in my life anymore.
You know what I mean?
-So I'm not being... -I'm vers, yeah.
Well we could talk about that after this, you know.
But...
Okay.
You know, I want a relationship that's reciprocated back to me.
So you know, I cut her off.
I ghosted her because she ghosted me basically.
Okay, Nicky, are you surprised to see your cousin here?
-Uh, yes, -We got you girl.
I am a little bit.
And if I can reiterate on what he said
I'm surprised because since we were children,
when we say we're going to move,
I think our first time saying it was eight years old.
LA.
We were going to move to LA and make it,
do something, own businesses, take over the industry.
And we did.
About three years ago we both moved here
-And... -Two.
Two year, whatever.
Two years ago we...
There's my honesty not coming...
All my New York exaggeration...
So we moved here with the dream of doing this, doing that,
making it, me doing drag, me getting on film,
me being on billboards,
me modeling for underwear companies.
Him being a dancer, booking things
and living our fucking dreams.
And we did.
And yeah, LA will suck you the fucking with work.
You will hustle.
You will build a business.
I noticed he brought his fucking candles here.
So here you go, Virgo can't fucking go anywhere
without his fuckin, you know, business.
And I never pushed him aside
because he was hustling and grinding.
I respected that.
So when we did talk, and when I did contact him...
Yeah, it's about work. It's about hey,
Girl, that was four months later.
You're mad about four fucking months.
Yeah, you gossin me for four months.
If you contact me after four months,
I'm not going to be like,
"Yeah, let's go to lunch together like all..."
So point of the story is I never ditched his hustle,
and I don't understand where he's coming from.
I don't... This is fucking new to me.
I thought we're on the same page.
Our dream was to come here and make it and hustle together.
And that's what we did.
And I live over in the IE, and he lives in Hollywood.
And...
-That's far. -That's far!
-Yeah. -Right.
Christopher, I don't want to get
too into your data plan or anything.
But what what's up with these voice notes?
Hold on one second.
She's got voice notes and things.
I don't want you to see my nudes in this light.
Girl, we've all seen them.
Okay.
Hey, I haven't heard from you in forever.
Um, so I don't know why you're coming at me like that,
but I've been super super busy.
Not my fault.
But I guess I'll talk to you soon. Bye.
Not your fault.
Listen, you started this new fucking Candle Company
and you can shove it up your ass
because a signal your timing,
you forgot who your fucking cousin is.
Okay, Miss Monit.
Uh!
Miss Monit?
She don't like when I call her that, so...
Oh, because that's her last name said wrong.
I get it.
Everybody moves to Hollywood to hustle,
to make it, to have their dreams.
Y'all are both trying to get to that finish line.
Anyway, you know how.
So it makes sense that like,
your schedules wouldn't always match up
and you could call family when you need them.
But you don't think oh, I have to check in with family
because like their family.
You're like you take them for granted.
You've known each other since you were eight, or whatever.
So I understand how you both can feel some sort of way about it.
Tell me about your business.
So basically, when I moved to LA,
I came here to dance professionally
and be an actor and a model
and a Tik Toker and the whole lot you know,
like I'm still LA and like and that's me.
Were you dancing?
Nowhere because COVID happened
and the entertainment industry disappeared.
So I needed to do something to make money
like I couldn't end up on the street.
So I took all my savings,
I invested it and created a business called [Bleep]
and I have candles that are inspired
by the fragrance of men.
And they all have witty names,
and they're really cute and smell really good.
-Whoa! -So like...
This one is called Baby Daddy.
Smell this.
That smells good.
And then this one is called Uncut Wood.
And this one was inspired by you know,
like when you're at the circuit party,
and there's a hot Brazilian guy and you're like,
"Girl what? I don't care what you're saying."
-Because I'm just looking at... -So even bringing me to court
about not wanting to see me
You still make it a point to sell your fucking product
instead of having a relationship with your fucking cousin.
Guys!
Just one second. Does anyone else...
They really smell nice, Nicky.
I think you might be like...
I have these candles, I know.
They smell really good.
I have supported him and bought them.
You told him to shove his candle I think up his butt.
I did.
Don't you think he would enjoy that a little too much
for the purpose?
Virgo anus.
Bitch, a drag queen is never without her phone.
So I'm wondering why you would ghost
a family member for four months.
You must have had a good reason, right?
It's COVID. I packed up and went to Miami.
I need to work.
She didn't even tell me she moved to Miami.
-I told you. -I had no idea.
I told you.
You know what the real tea is?
She stopped talking to me because she got a new man.
Is he cute?
You know, girl, Cuban, 29.
-Hung like a horse. -That thick shit.
But point of the story is
and you know this better than anyone.
Our family doesn't talk to me.
I'm the transgender freak in the fucking family.
You Christopher Joseph are the only person
that fucking talks to me and has a relationship with me.
I as a trans woman have been in abusive relationships.
Never have a boyfriend.
And there's one fucking time I get
somebody that fucking loves me,
You want to fucking say I'm ghosting you and shit.
The one time I get for me to love and be happy.
You know fuck this shit, it's over.
I'm fucking done with this bullshit.
He can go fuck himself.
Nicky!
♪ Iconic Justice
Production halted.
Tea was spilt.
The fourth wall was broken.
Andrea Coleman, our legal eagle
caught up with Chris in the courtroom,
asked producers, try to convince Nicky to return.
So production has halted right now.
I'm just going to check in.
Christopher, how do you feel about what's going on?
-What's happening right now? -Honestly, like I'm shaking.
What was that?
Honestly, like that is way more
than a little fight that we're having.
That is like some underlining trauma
or something like I don't even know what that's about.
Well, you know Nicky better than anybody in this courtroom.
So I know maybe you can tell us what that was about.
I mean, obviously, she's super super upset.
And I really think that it brought back like,
issues with her past relationships
and the shit that she's been through
because that bitch has been through
so much that people don't even know about,
that a lot of people don't know about,
that maybe only I know about.
And that's what's kind of scaring me because
she's someone that feels things really, really hard.
And I'm honestly concerned.
I think it's beautiful to hear about your concern
and we're going to go check in on Nicky
and hopefully she can come back and we can resolve this.
Yeah, make sure she's okay.
Mm-hmm
Meanwhile, outside the studio,
our executive producer has a heart to heart with Nicky.
Sorry, I'm literally quivering right now.
-Topher. -What?
I don't know if you realize but when you hired me
this is not what I signed up for.
We... I know.
But we told you that we were going to do a case with you
and that we wanted to surprise you.
I don't think we realized how serious it was.
And...
Topher Nicky Monet is a character
This is my real life you're putting on fucking television.
Look, fucking cameras and shit everywhere.
But Christopher contacted us
and said that he wanted to resolve it.
So I thought it was going to be more of like,
like resolution energy.
I didn't think it was going to go into fight mode so quick.
So I take responsibility for that,
But can we just listen to what Willam has to say?
-Can we... -Do we have a fucking choice?
If you want to stop, we could just stop now.
If you want we can go back in and hear what Willam has to say.
I think it's worth the time because your cousin,
again expressed to us that he wanted to make this better.
So just from a production standpoint,
this happened because I thought it was you getting an apology.
I don't want you to feel set up.
Do you feel you probably feel set up?
Of course I feel set up,
-but I mean what else... -You don't have to do this...
No, we do have a choice. We have to go.
Whether the choice would be not to do it.
And then what ruin the whole fucking show
and you guys are my family.
Obviously I'm not going to ruin it.
I got it in me. Let's go.
Are you good?
Yeah.
Promise?
Okay.
You trust me?
Yeah.
Fucking asshole.
Okay, come on.
Can at least someone fucking lift me up
and can I get the star treatment?
After a chat with producers,
Nicky agrees to return to the courtroom
and face her cousin.
Um...
Okay, so I get why you could be mad.
He's promoting his candle company here.
You're estranged from for most of your family.
He's the one family member that you vibe with.
So,
do you think there's something here that could be repaired?
I mean...
Definitely.
Okay.
We're literally best friends.
Okay, now do you think there's something here
that could be repaired?
I didn't even know something was wrong, Judge Willam.
-Oh, yeah, we surprise you. -So yeah, I fucking think so.
That's on his end.
Okay, well, then this is my question for the both of you.
What brought you together originally?
-Was it just that y'all were... -Birth
Our mothers make sister vaginas like
Gay?
Listening to Selena.
-And Spice Girls -Britney Spears
and Hoku, Snow Day.
Okay.
So y'all have a lot of commonality
that you can explore again,
and then just figure this out.
Because you're a showgirl.
We know all about your horrible hours,
how hard it is to have a relationship.
And this kind of opportunity to hunker down
with a man during COVID,
all that move away, feel safe, feel protected,
feel like you know, petite and gorge,
that moment is something that...
This was your first time experiencing, right?
She needed that moment.
-She did. I agree. -So sometimes people do the dip.
I do the dip all the time
when my friends were like, where did you go?
They know where I went.
I went to go get the dick.
Okay, y'all need to stop gaslighting each other.
If someone says they're hurt, you just need to believe it,
and then ask why and then listen to the whole answer
before you start thinking of a reply.
Because if you're already like in your head,
bla bla bla, bla, bla, bla,
you're not fully taking in their message.
And sometimes the message is messy,
and that's fine too.
That's why your family though.
you're here to help each other clean up the mess,
you know,
shave each other's backs,
the things that families do.
Okay.
As family, you guys should agree
to respect each other's boundaries.
Just because your family doesn't mean
that y'all are each other's doormats.
And checking in with each other maybe like once a month,
even if it's y'all are busy,
just say you love each other to each other.
Let people know that they're important to you,
no matter what.
Check in with them and tell them because
if there's one thing we've learned about COVID it's that,
you know, I can't snap in gloves.
That's another thing we learned.
But this is all short.
And you need to tell the people around you
what they mean to you, when they mean to you
even if your mouth is full.
-And I can think of something... -Full of what?
-What? -Full of what?
Well, I don't know, but I can think of something
that if we all agree to work on this relationship,
I might be able to help you out
with filling your mouth a little bit.
Mm-hmm
-Bitch. -Are those Gaga?
We can't show the label.
I've been looking for these.
I know.
Everywhere.
God is a Gaga.
She will bring families together.
Thank who? Gaga.
I would like you both to turn to each other
and promise to keep in each other's orbits
and to check in with each other at least once a month
and all of that.
And cameramen, I implore you,
do not zoom in on Nicky until she's fixed that mug
We'll punch in after.
♪ Iconic Justice
Okay.
So be friends.
On Gaga.
Gaga.
1, 2, 3 Gaga.
[Cheering]
Oh.
You really need to check your text messages...
-Bitch, I don't need anything. -Fucking faggot, dumb ass bitch
You need to unblock each other now too.
From Grindr.
Every time I say my Grindr, I block him.
I don't have a Grindr.
Oh, okay.
I have one in the car. It's filled with pot.
Let's go smoke it.
Bye. See you next season.
[Cheering]
Yay!
Hey, I'm Matt Camp.
Hi. I'm Sam the intern.
We're breaking the fourth wall.
So you know this must be serious.
This season of Iconic Justice has been incredible.
And Sam as our intern,
what were some of your biggest takeaways for this season?
Well, I'm walking away with a better understanding
of queer conflict resolution,
some important career building skills
and I'm hoping for a better grade
in my criminal justice class.
I failed the first time because I called my professor
a pedantic bootlicking Nazi.
Good for you. He conservative?
No, he just said that Bebe Neuwirth
was the seminal Velma Kelly
and I was like, Um, no,
like Chita Rivera begs to differ, hun.
But anyways, Matt, what were some of your takeaways
from this season?
Well, Judge Willam gave me chlamydia.
So that's something I'll have to take with me.
You got one more PSA for us?
I do.
And for the last time this season,
I have notes.
Today's case was all about family conflict.
And even though Nicky and Chris
were able to resolve their issues,
not all queer folks are so lucky.
Queer youth are disproportionately
affected by homelessness
as a result of being disowned by their families.
In fact, in a recent study,
nearly 40% of homeless youth identify as LGBTQIA.
That's a staggering number.
But sadly, that's not even the most dangerous problem
facing queer youth internationally.
In 70 countries same sex relationships are outlawed.
In these communities, queer youth face the daily risk
of imprisonment, torture, and even death.
That is why it's so important that the US
fight for stronger refugee programs
for LGBTQIA immigrants.
And also better protection and resources to help queer youth
that are facing homelessness in our own borders.
It's not going to be an easy battle,
but we're going to show up
because that's what queer families do.
I love that.
I love you.
No, I'm serious.
No, I'm like, I'm obsessed.
Like sometimes at night,
so like, all like, I'll be laying in bed
and I pull up my weighted blanket, I put on my face.
I'm like, Oh my god,
I just pretend you're sitting on my face.
And you made it weird, Sam.
I'm sorry. It's just like I'm emotional.
This is our last case, so...
Aw, buddy.
That's why I prepared an interpretive dance
to share my feelings.
Well, that's it from us.
As always remember,
stay honest, extra and forever iconic.
♪ Iconic Justice.
♪ That's so Iconic Justice
♪ Rise for your honor now.
♪ Iconic Justice
♪ Justice. Justice.
♪ Iconic Justice.
[beep]
Ready, go.
Reporting live from Tranny News Nine
in Iconic Justice.
Matt Camp is finally topping me.
I can finally wear my Daddy Couture shirt
that I got in 1992.
Oh yeah.