MUSIC: Manhattan by Cat Power
# The hotel room and the street below
# People come and people go
# All the friends that we used to know
# Ain't coming back
# See your heart has a rhythm
# Well, see you got your secret on
# You say hey and nothing to hide
# You and your secret life
# Don't look at the moon tonight
# You'll never be, never be, never be Manhattan
# Don't look at the moon tonight
# You can never be, never be
# Never be, never be Manhattan... #
I always thought the further you travel away from home,
the further you can get away from yourself.
So it came as a shock when I went to the most exciting place
in the world and I realised you can't leave yourself behind.
Your reflection stays the same in every time zone.
Jade?
And your insides don't change either.
Jade, I know you had a bit of a big night last night after we wrapped
but, as you know, it is the last day of filming today.
Jade?! Fuck off! Right, fine.
We just won't have you in the big finale party in the
Chrysler Building, which is a shame because you've been so central
to the whole New York episode, and we know how much
the audience love you.
And that American guy you fancy with the lovely yacht is definitely
going to be there.
Why are you so obsessed with me?
SHE SCOFFS
DOOR SLAMS
Two vodka martinis.
Thanks.
Cheers to another great series.
Glad I didn't sack you.
Well, so am I.
Oh, don't cry, for fuck's sake.
I'm not.
So how do you think the New York episode went?
Good. I'm really happy with how we tracked those main love stories...
..although I do wonder if in the next series we could move away
from all the romance stuff and find some new things to follow.
Maggie, this show is about romance.
If we weren't following their relationships, we'd be filming
them buying watches and getting their arseholes waxed.
Besides, all anyone wants to watch is romance.
Believe me, I've been doing these shows for enough years,
and all anyone cares about is love.
Have you been to New York before? No.
I really wish I had more time to see it.
Well, you should stay a few more days.
Change your flight, it's easy enough.
I can't. Why not?
You haven't taken any holiday this year.
I don't have the money and I don't know anyone here.
What is this thing about money?
Fucking hell, you lot are so prissy.
I was 22 when I first came to New York.
By the time I bought my plane ticket, I had 50 quid to my name.
Do you know how I got from JFK to Manhattan?
Walked it. Five and a half hours across the freeway. Wow.
People were just like that back then, you know? It was a different time.
I would have loved to have been in my 20s in the '90s.
You couldn't have handled it.
Anyway, I go straight to the West Village into this dive bar,
and I meet this guy, this handsome actor guy.
Do you know what? I shouldn't really be saying this,
I can't say any more.
All right.
It was Ethan Hawke.
No way?! Yeah!
We spent the week together and I live off those memories.
Oh, honestly, man...
Right.
It's time for adventure, young Maggie.
See you in the office in the new year.
PHONE: Hi, it's Nell. Leave me a message.
Unless you're my mum, in which case, yes, Mum, I've turned off my straighteners.
Change of plan.
I'm staying in New York for a bit. I've found a really bohemian
little holiday apartment. Don't talk me out of it.
Love you.
SIRENS WAIL OUTSIDE
MUSIC: Almost Time For Christmas Day by David Tobin and Jeff Meegan
# I'm so happy that Santa's on his way
# Been waiting all year long for Christmas Day
# I feel alive when I look up to the sky
# Knowing I might see him on his sleigh
# Soon I will see lots of presents by the tree
# And think of all the joy that's on its way
# I dream of Santa's long white beard
# And reindeer flying through the air
# I know it's almost time for Christmas Day
# I know it's almost time for
# Christmas Day! #
Yeah, sure...
I'm Maggie. What are your names?
Helen.
I'm Mark.
Hello, Helen and Mark.
Yeah. It sounds ideal out there.
Wow, it's nice to have a taste of home.
Well, I'm not Irish, I'm English, but, you know, similar.
Anyway, I mean...
Sorry, just...
I didn't mean that.
It's not similar at all.
It was very offensive.
I mean, we're all a bit Irish, aren't we?
Like, we've all got a slightly Celtic nan, so...
Don't all American people think they're a bit Irish?
Not me. I don't.
BAD IRISH ACCENT: Well, then, what are you doing in here, you heathens?
Get out of me pub!
So whereabouts do you live?
I'm sorry, we're just in the middle of something. Do you mind if we...?
SIRENS WAIL OUTSIDE
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
Hello?
Hi.
I don't know if Amara and Nell told you, but I've extended my stay here.
Oh. OK, OK.
So I won't be there to say goodbye to you tomorrow.
That's all right.
Thanks for letting me know.
How's packing? Yeah, it's good, good...
Yeah.
How's New York?
It's great.
You always wanted to go there.
Yeah.
Any plans for your last night in the house?
Oh, Nell and Amara are making me dinner.
That's nice.
Well, good luck with the move.
Thanks.
Bye, Birdy.
Bye, Mags.
So there's a six pack of beer and a quarter of whisky.
I'm going to need some ID.
Oh, I don't think I have it.
I was born in 1988 and I can quickly list all the things I remember,
to prove it.
Game Boys, smoking indoors,
not recycling, MySpace,
parents who drink-drive, the wireless...
Oh, yes.
Aww...
Finally, I've made a friend in New York.
SIRENS WAIL, HORNS HONK
MUSIC: I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday by Wizzard
# Quickly cover up your head
# Don't you lock the doors
# You know that sweet Santa Claus is on the way
# Well, I wish it could be Christmas everyday
# When the kids start singing... #
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
Hey!
I can't believe you stayed out there.
Oh, yeah. It's just for a few days. I fancied an adventure.
We didn't think you'd pick up.
We thought you'd be out.
What time is it there?
Uh...11.
Where are you? In my apartment.
I'm just heading out, actually.
Where are you going?
A club in the West Village.
Ooh, who with?
This really fun couple I met today in an Irish bar.
That's wild. Are they after a threesome?
Probably. I mean, they wouldn't leave me alone.
It's 4am in Camden, where have you guys been?
Out. Dancing? Whole hog.
I miss you guys.
We miss you, too.
Did Birdy come out?
Nope. Well, she came for dinner, talked about Nathan,
and then she headed straight back to Nathan.
She's just checked out. Was dinner nice?
Other than the few digs she made about me and Simon, yes.
Who else are you going to be hanging out with whilst you're out there?
Erm, dunno yet. You should try that dating app Tourism.
It's a good way to make friends in a new place, apparently.
As long as you don't use your passport photo again.
Honestly, Mags, it's the worst picture I have ever seen.
It's like a mix between a mug shot of, like,
an unrepentant woman who's just chopped her husband's dick off,
and, like, a fraggly-headed...
Uh, have fun, you guys, got to go!
BOTH: Bye.
Is she OK? I don't think so.
Hi. I was in here earlier.
I had my passport. I left my passport.
It was here. I left it just here.
No-one's handed anything in?
No, I'm sorry.
Would you mind keeping an eye out, just in case
someone hands something in? Sure.
Thanks.
Hey, taxi! PHONE DROPS TO GROUND
Fuck!
HORN HONKS
Sorry, sorry.
Can I go to 323 Deloney Place, Greenpoint? Sure.
Can I get you a beer?
Mm-hm.
Can I smoke? Oh, yes.
So is it Jean, or would you prefer John?
I don't mind. Mm.
There's nothing worse than an English person doing
an overly enthusiastic French accent.
SHE CHUCKLES
Then again, also nothing worse than an English person speaking
French with an English accent.
So...what to do?
So where are you from in France?
Montpellier in the south.
And did you move here for work? You talk a lot.
LAUGHING: I know. Sorry.
QUIETLY: Take this off? Yeah.
BANGING ON THE WALL What was that?
Oh, my roommate next door.
Why is he knocking?
It's a code we do.
Oh, sweet. Like Boy Scouts.
Uh, no, he wants to know if he can sleep with you.
Why would I want to sleep with him?
Um, so I can watch.
I don't... I don't want to do that.
I thought you said you were looking for fun.
Not that kind of fun.
No, I don't want to, no.
FIRMLY: No.
OK, fine.
It's fine.
HE MOANS SOFTLY
I-I can't do it. What?
Get hard.
Unless someone watches me.
I can't.
Jesus fucking Christ!
I don't know the address of where I'm staying and my phone
is broken, so... It's fine.
You can stay here. It's fine. I don't mind.
Shit!
SHE EXHALES HEAVILY
SIRENS WAIL IN THE DISTANCE
# Please can we go away?
# Get out of here somehow today... #
Hey, sorry, could you help me for a second?
I'm lost and I need directions to the Lower East Side.
I don't know. No? OK.
Hey, excuse me. Could...? No?
Hi, how are you doing? Do you know how to get to the Lower East Side?
Do you know how I can...? No? OK.
# To fat moustachioed men in suits, you'll look cute
# Fuck what they say
# Fuck it if they talk
# It really doesn't matter
# We're going to New York
# Oh, hold on to me
# I'm gonna get you out
# I'm gonna set you free
# To a place I've heard on the radio never sleeps... #
Hi! Any luck? Oh, no. I'm sorry.
# I'll get a job in a bar... #
Do you mind if I...?
# You could be a waitress and serve cheap cigars
# To fat moustachioed men in suits, you'll look cute... #
Hey, good boy. Hey.
# Fuck what they say
# Fuck it if they talk
It really doesn't matter
# We're going to New York. #
What's taking you so long?!
I'm just trying to pay for my Metro card,
but the machine isn't working.
It's been working for everybody else.
I know, but it keeps asking me for a zip code.
Just pay, already! But I'm trying to pay!
But the stupid fucking cocking...
Oh, what the fuck?!
Can I help you?
I can't pay for the Subway without putting my zip code
into the card machine, right?
But I don't have a zip code,
I have a postcode, because I live in England,
and it won't let me put letters into the machine.
And I don't know how many numbers a zip code is and my phone's
broken, so I can't find out.
One, one, two, two, two.
That's my zip code.
You can use that any time you want to ride the Subway.
One, one, two, two, two?
Perfect.
And it doesn't matter if I don't live there? Oh, no.
That just unlocks the machine and lets you pay. Oh.
There you go.
Got your key to New York now.
It's not at all what I expected.
What do you mean?
I've been thinking about New York since I was a kid, so I built
up such an idea of it in my head.
Really? Yeah.
Every movie, every sitcom. I feel like I've studied America.
Well, how's it different from what you thought?
Looks the same.
It's like I'm walking through a movie all the time,
but the people are so rude.
I mean, come on - surely someone must have warned you that New Yorkers are rude?
Yeah, but I thought they'd be rude in a fun way like...
BAD NEW YORK ACCENT: You want that with cheese, it's an extra dollar. Yes or no?
But no. It's all the staff at the airport acting so suspicious
of why you're here.
Like, yeah, of course we're here.
We've been watching Nickelodeon our whole lives.
You can't export your entire culture to us and then expect us to not
want to come see it for ourselves.
Everyone's so...serious.
I was in the supermarket yesterday, buying an apple, and I picked up the apple
I was going to buy and smelt it, and the security guard told me
I wasn't allowed to sniff the fruit.
Rules.
That's what I wasn't expecting about New York, the obsession with rules.
I don't know. I like rules.
You're like my best friend Birdy.
She can't enjoy anything without knowing the rules first.
Rules just help people feel safe.
It means everyone knows where they stand.
So what do you do?
I work for the government.
No?! Mm-hm.
Oh. City and community planning.
I'm taking your notes on board, by the way. Oh.
What are you doing with the rest of today?
Nothing. Why?
Do you want to corrupt this earnest American with some
of that British punk spirit?
Fuck, yeah. Yeah?
Yeah, let's go and sniff some fruit and fuck shit up.
Is this Central Park? This is Central Park. Haven't heard of it. The one and only. Really?
Well, you're in for a treat.
# Lying, a dreamer dreaming beside me
# The city sirens keep me awake
# And I know
# I'll see you again in the long run
# People, they tell me I should be careful
#That you'll worry, and I'm already miles away
# But I know
# I'll see you again in the long run... #
Oh!
You did it!
# And I know
# I'll meet you again in the long run
# I'll see you again in the long run... #
So, so beautiful.
Do you see that gap right there? Mm-hm?
Now, sometimes, sunrise and sunset lines up perfectly
with the east-west streets of Manhattan's main grid,
so these pink lights shine right through the centre of the city.
It's one of my favourite days in New York.
Do you want me to walk you back to where you're staying?
I really, really don't.
Do you want to come back to my apartment?
I could cook us both dinner, but only if you'd like to.
You know, my old roommate moved out a couple of months ago,
my new one isn't arriving until the week after next.
And even if he were here, you would not have to have sex
with either or both of us.
So if you want to stay over, you can,
and I can sleep in the other room.
Thank you.
Why do you have a photo of Copenhagen on your wall?
Because I like Copenhagen.
I took that photo.
What?
Nothing. You're just so straightforward.
Like, in the best way.
I can't remember being in such a sincere flat.
Hmm.
Tell me, what does an insincere flat look like?
I used to date this musician, and he lived in this house
that was dripping in this kind of...knowing irony. Mm?
I couldn't work out what was a joke or what was real,
or what he actually liked or what he liked as a...subversion.
Well, I never date musicians.
I know, but I couldn't help myself.
What's your apartment like?
In London?
It's a house in the middle of Camden, which WAS the coolest
place in London, until the last couple of years.
When I moved in, basically.
Do you have roommates? Who do you live with?
Three friends.
Amara and Nell, who I met at uni,
and Birdy,
who I think I already mentioned.
Yeah. Yeah.
We've known each other since we were 11.
But she's moving out.
Today, in fact.
Did you take this one too?
Mm-mm.
I know what you're trying to do, and it's not going to work.
At least let me try.
I am heavier than I look.
I am. I'm heavier than I look.
No, no!
Put me down! I will not be offended!
No... I will not be offended, OK?
I'm very tall and I have very heavy bones.
This is hot.
This is so, so hot. SHE GIGGLES
Morning.
I'm... I'm going to go,
but do you mind if I work out how to get back to my apartment, first,
because my phone's still not switching on? Sure.
You know, you also don't have to go.
Probably should, I need to sort out this passport. Right.
You might be waiting a while,
so if you need company, I'm all yours.
This tea is disgusting.
I'm sorry, what now?
You are so, so fit,
and really lovely,
and really good at sex... Mm-hm? ..but you can't make tea for shit.
This tastes like the water that was drained out of the washing up.
What are you talking about?
I'm going to teach you how to make a proper cup of tea.
This is rude, I hope you know, and you're...
I've been such a gracious host and you have just...
SHE CHUCKLES Never!
Teabag. Mm-hm?
Hot water. Mm-hm?
WATER POURS
Then add milk, right?
No! No?
You wait two minutes before you put the milk in.
Wait two minutes? You've got to wait two minutes, yeah.
Keep an eye on the clock. Keep an eye on...
Keep an eye on the time.
MUSIC: Au Cinema by Lianne La Havas
# Now we'll cut to the girl, alone
# She's found on the Brooklyn Bridge
# And she's truly at home, home
# Her step has a whole new spring
# Big bright lights of the city are shining for her
# There's a thirst in her eyes and her heart
# Though she thinks to look back, back
# She won't
# There's no pause... #
Margaret Marshall?
It's got to be this one.
It's nice and bushy.
What sort of person looks at
the bottom of a Christmas tree? A Christmas tree needs girth!
Why did you get the light end?
Well, you're the one who wanted girth for the bottom of the Christmas tree.
# Watching ourselves Au Cinema
# Take our positions as the cameras roll
# You'll be the guy, I'll be the girl
# Watching ourselves Au Cinema
# Au Cinema
# Take our positions as the cameras roll
# You'll be the guy, I'll be the girl
# Watching ourselves Au Cinema. #
You're roommate who moved out...?
Mm-hm?
Was she a girl?
She was.
And was she your roommate, or was she your...?
She was my...
Is that OK?
Yeah, of course it is.
It was right that we ended.
But it is weird, though.
She knows me better than pretty much any person I've ever known.
So a world without her feels...
..like a scary wall.
Tell me about your break-up...
With Birdy?
We don't really talk any more.
I meant the musician guy.
Oh!
That was so long ago.
You could barely call it a break-up.
It was more of an inevitable fizzle.
Tell me about her, then.
She met someone
and fell in love for the first time.
I felt like I was being replaced,
and she suddenly felt like I was...a burden or something.
We never used to argue.
No-one could believe how little we argued in 13 years.
But...we didn't.
The thing that's always worked is that we're so different.
I'm Maggie. I'm Birdy.
Ever since we were kids, we've just known
how the other one works.
All of the things we don't like about ourselves,
and there's things we love about each other.
She made me feel safe, and I think I made her feel more courageous.
We knew what would make each other laugh or cry.
That's how she always made me feel.
Like I'm the only one who can make things right.
She never, ever saw me as a problem, I was only ever her solution.
And I don't want to go home tomorrow, but...
..I can't stay here.
I want to say something, but it makes no sense.
What?
I love you.
And I don't want you to think that I'm, like, dangerous or crazy
or anything like that, and I know I can't really love you
because I've only known you for, like, 48 hours.
But I just feel like...
..I could love you.
Fuck it. I already love you.
I know where I'm going. I've written it down.
Great.
I mean, you really should just stay.
Where would I live?
With me. Where would I work?
I don't know. You can get some bill-paying job,
you can write on the weekends. All right.
What about when your ironclad immigration system
tries to send me home?
Then, I'll fucking marry you.
Is that what you want to hear?
Because I'll do it. I will.
I'll walk you down to City Hall tomorrow morning,
I'll marry the hell out of you.
Then you can stay as long as you want.
If you told me a week ago that I'd meet Clark Kent in New York,
and he'd say he'd marry me to have me stay in America,
I mean...
..it's all I've ever wanted.
But I have to choose reality - for once.
I'll call you as soon as my phone's working.
Thank you.
Bye. Bye.
Mother's intuition.
Nell rang me. She was worried about you.
Oh, hug! Ooh.
Let's grab a hot drink before we get in the car.
I've missed you. Oh, I've missed you.
I always miss you.
How was New York? Was it fun?
Just like the movies?
Not really.
What did you do? What did you see?
Well, I couldn't really do much because I only had, like, $80
for the whole week, so I just drank in my cockroach-infested apartment.
Right.
And then I was bored and lonely,
so I went on this dating app to meet someone.
Apparently, it's a thing, like, a good way of making friends
in a new city. Right.
Except, I didn't make a friend because I ended up
at this absolute creep's place,
who tried to make me have
an orgy with his flatmate.
Oh, and my phone fell in a puddle and broke.
Oh, you should have put it... A bag of rice.
I know, but it doesn't always work, though, Mum.
No.
And then I met this man, and he was so lovely.
And he made me feel really safe,
for some reason.
It's not a feeling I ever really have around boys.
And then he told me he loved me,
even though he'd only known me for two days.
So he's either the man I'm meant to end up with
and I'll probably never see him again,
or he is just completely deranged.
You take your time. I've got the new Hilary Mantel on audiobook.
OK.
You're an extraordinary person, Maggie.
I know you don't think you are.
And I know you think I'm only saying that because I'm your mum.
And maybe I am only saying that because I'm your mum.
But... You don't... I know I'm embarrassing you,
but just let me say something and then I won't say it again.
I think that you are looking
for an extraordinary kind of love, but I...
I don't think, for what it's worth,
that you want to be loved in an extraordinary way.
I think what you want is to be loved plainly and quietly,
without spectacle or anxiety.
Like Birdy loves you.
And I know it's fun for now
to set off all sorts of bombs in your own life.
But, one day, as hard as it is to believe,
you won't need to, because things will be dramatic enough.
There'll be sickness and breakdowns and bankruptcy.
And I know you think Dad and I are obsessed with cancer,
but honestly, there'll be so much fucking cancer everywhere.
Every day, it'll be like a weather report for it,
Monday pancreatic, Tuesday testicular, Wednesday ovarian.
The world will feel like a war zone.
And... And you want the person you love to feel like peace.
Someone who'll listen to you and make you laugh.
Do the crossword with you at breakfast.
OK.
I'm finished now.
Thank you.
# You were so smart then
# In your jacket and coat
# My softest red scarf was
# Warming your throat
# Winter was on us
# At the end of my nose
# And I'll never love England
# More than when covered in snow
# But a friend of mine says it's good to hear
# That you believe in love even if set in fear
# Well, I'll hold you there
# Brother, and set you straight
# I only believe true love is frail
# And willing to break
# I will come back here
# Bring me back when I'm old
# I want to lay here
# Forever in the cold
# I might be cold, but
# I'm just skin and bones
# And I never love England more than when covered in snow
# I wrote my name in your book
# Only God knows why
# And I bet you that he cracked a smile
# And I'm clearing all the crap out of my room
# Trying desperately to figure out what it is that makes me blue
# And I wrote in a big letter to you
# And it's 22 pages front and back
# But it's too good to be used
# And I tried to be a girl who likes to be used
# I'm too good for that
# There's a mind under this hat
# And I called them all and told them I've got to move
# And I'm out on my own
# It's too hard
# I'm out on my own
# It's too hard
# I feel like running
# Feel like running
# Running off
# And we will keep you
# We will keep you
# Little one
# Safe from harm
# Like an extra arm
# You are a part of us. #