(contemporary music)
(text notification)
(Clara sighs)
(upbeat contemporary music)
- Oh (sighs).
♪ Right now at the top of the count ♪
♪ Hot clown and the creek is turning ♪
♪ Give back the sheets of Easter ♪
♪ Get more for your money, man ♪
♪ Right now, kick out ♪
♪ Kick out for the light and lighter ♪
(upbeat contemporary music)
♪ Give that which you mean to get back ♪
♪ See these are the streets of favor ♪
♪ Hang down like the feet of Easter ♪
♪ You're bad for me now, baby ♪
♪ Right now, hang down ♪
♪ He won't meet if you don't meet, baby ♪
(upbeat contemporary music)
- Mm, yum.
Thank you.
- Thanks for staying here last night.
- Mm.
When's your Dad coming back?
- Why?
- I was thinking, maybe we could have a little party?
For my birthday?
- What, here?
- Mm, I'm turning 27.
It's a pretty big one, you know?
Saturn returns and all that.
- Um, isn't that 29?
- Um, I'm pretty sure it's 27 to 29.
- Mm? - Mm-hmm.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
- Um...
I don't know, I just...
you know, with Mum and everything.
Um...
- Yeah.
Yeah.
It's fine.
I just thought, you know,
'cause your Dad's away having fun-
- He's not having fun.
- Maybe it would be really nice for you, you know?
It might cheer you up a little bit.
I love you.
- I love you, too.
Just a few people.
- Yeah?
Really? - Mm-hmm.
- Seriously? - Mm-hmm.
(lighthearted music)
(man sings in foreign language)
- [Staff Member] Just up the stairs.
(man sings in foreign language)
- [Sacha] What have you got to lose?
When are you meeting him?
- He's already here.
Could be a sociopath.
- [Sacha] You're the sociopath.
Go in!
- Just let me do my...
Oh, hey.
He's seen me.
Okay, um, I'm gonna go now.
- [Sacha] Okay, good luck.
Don't be weird. - Okay, bye.
No, I won't.
Oh my God.
- Heya. - Hi.
- Hey.
Still drunk?
- Yes. - Hmm.
- I promise not to vomit.
- Yeah. - Mm.
I'm sorry, am I late?
- No, you're not.
I'm early, pathologically.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Hey.
Hi.
- Are we ready?
- Oh.
Ah, yep, sure.
I...
Oh yum, I'll get the chicken burger,
but instead of the slaw, can I get fries, please?
- Mm-hmm. - Great.
- [Waitress] Burger and fries.
- Can I get the five grain salad
and can I get the dressing on the side, if I can?
- Yeah, sure. - Thanks.
- Can I look at the wine list, please?
- [Waitress] Yeah.
- Not on call today.
- [Waitress] Drink for you?
- Mineral water, thanks.
- Yeah, me too, actually.
- [Waitress] Great, so that's two mineral waters.
- Thank you.
You okay?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm great.
I'm great.
- Okay, a date.
How do we do this?
- Oh, I don't know.
Probably why I'm single.
(both chuckle)
- [Peter] Small talk.
- Sure.
- How many kids do you want?
- Pardon?
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm shit at small talk.
- Um...
yeah, no, that's big talk.
Very big.
- Yeah. - But why not?
Sure.
One?
Two?
You?
- I love kids, not all kids.
Some are a bit-
- Ugly, like proper ugly.
My friends, they just had a kid.
He's giant, looks like Harvey Weinstein.
I'm not kidding.
(faint music over stereo)
But, yes, yes to kids.
Not sure I'll be very good at it, but...
anyway.
(cell phone rings)
- (clears throat) Sorry.
(cell phone rings)
Ah, one sec.
Hey.
What's happened?
(clears throat) Yeah.
- Excuse me, can I get a glass of Sauv Blanc, please?
- [Waitress] Yeah, no worries.
- Thanks.
(faint music over stereo)
(Clara sighs)
(soft music)
If I see one more man holding a giant fish.
- [Peter] Mm.
- I don't care about fish!
And then you meet them,
and they've been to Lake Eildon once.
They're not even fishermen.
One guy, (laughs) his photo was him standing
next to a sold sign at an auction.
Like what's that?
"Oh, I have a massive mortgage"?
- I don't know, it sounds like
there's a lot of size metaphors going on.
I mean, maybe, maybe that guy was a real estate agent.
- That's worse.
That is worse, because what, am I supposed to put up
a photo of me putting a man to sleep?
Maybe I should do that.
- Right, right, okay, yes, yes.
I was trying to figure out what kind of doctor you were.
So you're an anesthes...anethe...anethsese?
(both laugh)
Sorry, I can't.
I can't even say it, that's pretty embarrassing.
- It's- - Aneth-
- No one can say it.
It's fine. - Okay, thank you.
- Anesthetist.
- Anethe-.
- Yep. - Nah, forget it.
Okay, this is probably a dumb question,
but when they say that they put you to sleep,
you know, it's not sleep.
- Totally different to sleep. - What happens, what happens?
- When you sleep, you process memory, you feel pain.
If I pinched you, you'd wake up.
- [Peter] Mm-hmm.
- Right, but the way anesthesia works is
it interrupts the pathways of communication
between your neural networks,
so I can poke you, prod you, cut you open
but because the neurons aren't talking to each other,
you don't feel pain, you don't move,
you don't form memories, et cetera.
Does it make sense?
- Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah.
- Oh. - Keep going.
- Okay, ah, and then when you're awake,
everything's talking to everything,
so you can feel and taste and touch
and experience consciousness.
Have I explained it?
- Yeah.
Yeah, wow.
Bit long for a bio, though.
- Ha-ha-ha.
Well, I've got great pics.
- Oh yeah, what are your great pics?
- (laughs) No, they're all um...
they're all just like self-consciously candid,
just to distinguish myself from the pouters.
Which is something I don't understand.
How are we not laughing at that anymore?
When did that become a legitimate photo face?
That's a joke.
It's a dumb model joke face.
Like, "How hot am I with these tense lips?"
"Mm, mm, mm."
And now everyone is aspiring to look like these models
with their empty eyes.
It's embarrassing.
- The photos aren't real, you know.
You have to meet people.
And voices, they're important, too.
They can be really off-putting.
Yours?
Yours isn't.
- Oh, phew (laughs).
(both laugh)
Okay, enough about me.
What do you do?
Bet I can pronounce it.
- I am a model.
(Clara laughs)
- No you're not.
What?
A model?
- [Peter] Mm-hmm.
- I mean, no, it's not that you're not handsome.
You're very handsome.
Um, it's just that...
Wow.
A model.
- [Masseur] You're holding again.
Let go.
(Glen sighs)
(serene music)
Nothing to be afraid of.
(serene music)
(Glen sighs)
(serene music)
Okay, then, take your time getting up.
And-
- [Both] Thank you for visiting our couple's massage.
- Thank you.
Both.
That was...
that was...that was...
that was terrific, thank you.
- [Both] Namaste.
- Namaste.
(serene music)
(Glen sighs)
(serene music)
(Glen stutters)
- I had a bag.
- [Masseur] Oh, we took it back to your room.
- Oh, ah, well, it had my clothes in it.
- Oh, apologies.
One second. - Okay.
(serene music)
- Whoa, nice view!
- Oh, sorry, beg your pardon, I was just...
Oh, hi.
Ah, we met.
- Yeah.
I'm staying here.
Well, not here.
In the room.
- So we're next door to each other.
- Oh.
- Oh, I'm Anita.
- Oh, hi, ah, Glen. - Hi.
- Sorry.
One size fits all, apparently.
- [Anita] Can you take it back?
- Oh no, I didn't buy it.
I got it at the couple's massage.
- How does that work?
What, you've got one masseuse working on both of you?
- No, no, you get one each.
But I got two because my wife died.
Not during the massage.
A couple of weeks ago.
- I'm very sorry.
- No, no, it's not your fault.
- Well, I'm going to try the facial this afternoon.
- Oh, I think we have one of those booked for tomorrow.
- Well, then, I'll have to come and knock on your door
and tell you if it's worth going.
- Yes, please.
- Well, nice bumping into you, Glen.
- Yeah.
- [Clara] That's his actual job.
Full-time model.
- What, like catalog? (laughs)
- Catwalk, international.
- Ooh! - That explains the salad.
- Anyway, I asked a few questions.
He's not friends with Kate Moss, so...
I was like, "Okay, bye.
Gotta go to hospital, see ya."
- Was he well dressed?
- Yeah, out of the leggings.
- Was he funny?
- Sort of.
Laughs a lot.
- Bit dumb?
- No, got all my jokes.
- Your highbrow jokes?
- Yes. - Oh, okay.
So then why-
- I'm not gonna date a model.
Who dates models?
I won't be with someone who won't eat hot chips.
- All right, well, so how model is he?
Come on, show us.
Surely there's a picture of him somewhere out there.
- Has he got a website?
(Vicky laughs)
Do you subscribe?
- Come on, oh, oh, hello (clears throat).
Yep, that looks like a model.
- Okay.
Oh, all right.
He doesn't love doing his shirt up, does he?
What's the K stand for?
- Oh, I forgot to ask.
Another red flag.
- He drove you to the hospital, okay?
He waited with you, and he kissed you after you vomited.
- Ugh, I would not do that.
- [Sacha] Yeah, weird.
- He's not a full model.
He's like ugly beautiful.
- Oh, he's not ugly.
- So how'd you leave it?
- He texted me after, "Are you okay?"
- [Sacha] That's good.
- I need a poo.
- Oh, please.
Thank you.
Love you.
- And you need to call him.
Hey Siri, call Peter K.
- Yes, call Peter K.
- [Phone Siri] Calling Peter K.
- No, no, no, no!
Oh, God, I didn't know.
Like he's not going to be completely self-obsessed
and superficial and constantly exercising.
He's a model.
- Okay, doctor.
- [Aaron] We've literally been everywhere
and I still can't find a present for her.
- It might make it easier
if you knew anything about your girlfriend.
- Look, I know you don't like her.
- I like her!
I do.
Seriously, I do.
I just...
You have nothing in common.
I mean, what do you talk about?
- Well, I mean we don't do a lot of that.
- Oh!
- I'm kidding.
I don't know.
I mean, opposites attract, and I'm in love with her so...
Thank you, thank you.
I just don't want to get her,
you know, something expensive.
I just want to get her something that says...
(soft rock music over stereo)
Says that.
(soft rock music over stereo)
- You're not getting a tattoo.
(soft rock music over stereo)
- Cool tatts.
♪ So whisper sweet love ♪
♪ And take me by the hand ♪
- Hey.
Hi! - Oh, hey, hi, hi.
- Oh, I just had the facial.
Do I look any younger?
They said it would take off at least seven years.
- Now that you mention it, yes.
- Well, you should definitely have one tomorrow.
- Oh, okay.
Well, I have the couple's package
so I can take off 14 years.
(Anita laughs)
- You look very nice.
- Oh.
- [Anita] The jacket.
- Oh, thank you.
- Are you off to dinner?
- Yeah, well, soon.
- Would you like to have it with me?
(soft music over stereo)
Sorry, you'd probably
rather eat alone. - No, no, no, no, no.
- No?
- I'd like that.
- Okay, I will just go and get changed.
- Okay. - Okay.
- I'll see you in there.
- [Anita] Yeah, great.
(soft music in over stereo)
- Hello. - Hello.
- Ah, you haven't ordered a drink.
- No, no, I was waiting for you.
- Ah, well, that's very polite, thank you.
- What would you like to drink?
- Well, what do you prefer?
- No, no preference.
- Well, you must like something.
- Well, yeah, perhaps a red.
- Oh, excellent.
Ah, we'll have a nice bottle of red please, Vikash.
- Certainly, we have an exquisite Merlot.
- Um...
maybe not a Merlot.
- Well, no.
- Maybe a Shiraz.
- Yes, we'll have a Shiraz, please.
- Thank you.
You been here before?
- No.
- How did you know his name?
- Ah, his name tag.
(Anita laughs) - Okay.
- You're a funny one.
So who are you?
- Um, I'm Glen.
- I know you're Glen (laughs).
Tell me about yourself.
- I don't know, I'm just like anybody.
- Ah, so you're not a salesman.
Well, that makes a nice change.
(text notification)
(soft music)
Where the forests miss the winter
and the devils kiss the river
I'll find you under winter-kissed pine
with a glass of island wine.
- Well, you're a lovely writer.
- No, that's dreadful writing.
- Is it?
(both laugh)
Okay.
- But they love stupid poems,
and it's the easiest way to get noticed in 25 words or less.
And it worked, 'cause I'm here.
I mean, I couldn't afford this on a novelist's wage.
- Oh no.
Oh I mean, I'd never even think to enter a competition.
- Well no one does, that's why I win (laughs).
- You've won things before?
- Oh yeah, yeah.
I've won a trip to New Zealand, and I went to Broome.
I had a glamping holiday and...
- Oh! - And um...
Oh, I've got lots of things for the house.
I got an air fryer and a Kitchen Aide
and oh gosh, I've got way too many appliances.
(both laugh)
- Mm, no, no, thank you, thank you.
- And for your lovely wife?
- Oh no, this isn't my wife.
- I'm his mistress.
I'll have his too, thanks, Vikash.
(champagne fizzles)
Don't you love that sound?
Thank you.
Can you believe he keeps asking you what I want?
What are we, back in the 1950s?
- Well, I think some of us are.
(Anita laughs)
- Hey.
What do you think their story is?
- How do you mean?
- Don't you ever try and fill in the blanks?
You know, occupational hazard.
Okay, so...
Okay.
John and Jeanette, mm-hmm.
This trip is a Christmas present from their kids.
The only problem is, they can't stand each other.
But they're so co-dependent they can't be apart,
and they couldn't bring themselves to tell the kids
because they all chipped in.
(Glen laughs)
They all look so miserable.
(Glen laughs)
Have a go.
- Oh, no. - Go on, go on.
- No. - Have a go.
- No, no. - Just have a go.
It's so easy. - No.
I'm not like you.
I'm not very good at these sort of things, really.
No. - Go on.
Go on.
- Okay (clears throat).
All right.
Um...
He's called Tom.
- [Anita] Okay.
- No, ah, Tony.
He's 65.
- [Anita] Mm-hmm.
- He's married.
So why is he eating alone?
- [Anita] Mm.
- His wife was in a car accident a couple of years ago
and she lost her, um...
she lost her left arm.
- Oh.
- Um...
Um, but that's not all she lost.
She lost her...
she lost her will, she lost her sense of humor.
It's like she...she um...um...you know, his wife, that is.
It's like she couldn't find a reason to keep going,
so, if he could change places with her he would.
You know, he just wants to say the right thing, but he...
just wants to make her laugh, but he can't, you know.
You know, he just wants to make her happy again.
(soft music)
Yeah.
(soft music)
Oh.
(Anita laughs)
That is a prosthetic.
(Anita laughs)
Actually, that is amazingly lifelike.
That is top of the range.
That-
(Anita laughs)
You would never tell that that is not real.
(Anita laughs)
Apparently she bought it in Peru.
(Anita laughs)
- Why did you let me eat the whole pizza?
Can you die from bloated?
I think I'm gonna die from bloat.
Hello.
- Hi, can I leave something for someone who works here?
It's just a little present.
- Um, absolutely.
Sorry, who was it for?
And if they're not working, can I have it?
- Hi.
- Do you know each other?
- Actually, I have appendicitis and I'm pretty sure
I need a general anesthetic from an anesthetist.
(indistinct announcement over PA)
- Oh, hi.
We've been understaffed and I haven't had time for anything,
to do anything, at all.
- Yeah, yeah, it's all good.
- Oh, I've just been working a lot.
- So I got you this.
- Thank you.
- Oh, um, shit, did I misread this?
I'm sorry if I did.
It's just for the first time in a long time,
I felt like I actually connected with someone.
And I thought that we had a good time, but maybe-
- Oh no, no, it's not...
it's not that, um...um...
- If you're not interested, that's totally fine.
I'll leave you alone.
But um, I like you.
And I don't meet people that I like very often.
(soft music)
- [Clara] Is that-
- They need us in theater three.
- Okay.
I'm so sorry.
- Yeah, sure.
(soft music)
- What'd he say?
- That was intense.
He said he likes me.
- Well, that's clear.
- Mm-hmm, he hasn't connected with anyone in a long time.
- (gasps) And he bought you the good stuff.
Take them away from me.
I mean, give me one more, and then take them away.
(hip hop music)
- (knocks) Ella!
(knocks) Ella, it's me! (knocks)
- Oh, hey!
Lux bought me a little, um...
a little birthday present.
Do you want some?
- No, I'm good.
You wanna...
I've got a present, too, so.
- Aw, you're so sweet.
(lux chuckles)
Don't laugh, he's so sweet.
Look at him.
- You're sure you want to-
- [Lux] Ah, bro.
- I'm not your bro, okay?
She's had a shitload to drink.
(Ella's friends laugh)
- What's funny?
- Just relax.
- She could end up in a fucking K-hole.
- Oh, babe. - Have a beer.
- Oh, can you get out of my room?
- Okay, can you not talk to them like that, please?
Just chill, all right?
It's a birthday present.
(man throws up)
- Oh, for fuck sake.
(man throws up)
Oh, okay.
No, don't throw up.
(man throws up)
(hip hop music)
Get out.
Get out of here.
- Oh ew, it's a sick bed.
- Get the fuck out of here!
(hip hop music)
Everybody just get out!
Get the fuck out, okay?
(hip hop music)
Come on! (claps rapidly)
(partygoers grumble)
(Anita laughs)
- [Glen] Last drop.
- Here's to...
ill-fitting robes.
(both chuckle)
Ah.
(Anita sighs)
I'm gonna take a dip.
- [Glen] What?
(water splashes)
- Oh!
Come in!
Oh, it's fantastic! (laughs)
Come in!
Come on!
- Okay (laughs).
- [Anita] Oh, it's beautiful!
(both laugh)
- [Staff Member] Excuse me, sir.
- Oh!
(Anita laughs)
I'm sorry!
(both laugh)
- [Anita] Shh!
(upbeat music)
♪ You know I love you most of the time ♪
♪ Can't get you across my mind ♪
♪ Lightning when we kiss ♪
♪ It's the small things that I miss ♪
♪ You know I do ♪
♪ Love you, you know I do ♪
♪ You know I do ♪
♪ Love you, you know I do ♪
♪ You know I ♪
(both laugh)
- You should have seen your face!
- You should have seen his face!
(Anita laughs)
- Hey.
Goodnight.
(Anita laughs)
Nighty-night.
(Glen laughs)
- Goodnight.
- Why did you stop at a kiss?
You like her.
Why did you stop there?
- Don't say that.
- Maybe she's more your type.
She's light and impulsive.
- Stop it.
(soft music)
You're not even real.
(soft music)
(Aaron sighs)
(soft music)
- [Jesse] Did Ella like the tatt?
- No, I didn't get to...
I'll just show her in the morning.
(soft music)
They were fucking in my Mum's bed.
(soft music)
- I know.
(Aaron sobs)
I'm sorry.
(soft music)
(Aaron cries)
You should...
you should go home.
- Are you sure?
(soft music)
I'll put those in our bin.
(soft music)
- [Clara] Oh, so how's it going?
How's the resort?
- Well actually, it's quite stylish in its own way.
- Oh, so you're having fun, then?
I mean, you know what I mean.
Not fun, but...
Mm.
- Well, you know, yeah.
- Hey Dad, why don't I get Aaron on the other line?
- [Glen] Oh, okay.
Do you need me to hang up?
- No, no, no, no, I'll hook us up, three-way call.
Hang on.
(cell phone rings)
Hey, I've got Dad on the other line-
No, no, no, wait, wait, wait. - I'm gonna hook us up.
Okay, now we can all hear each other.
- Hi.
- [Clara] Hi.
- Hey, Dad, ah...
how's the fancy holiday?
- Well-
- [Clara] It's more of a rest than a holiday.
- No, actually, actually, yeah, it's quite relaxing.
But how are you?
What have you been up to?
- I can't really hear you.
- [Clara] I can hear you, Dad.
Can you hear us?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I can hear you both.
- He can hear us, Aaron.
- No, you're breaking up.
I'll just go.
- [Clara] No.
- Okay, bye Aaron.
- [Clara] No, no, he hung up.
- Oh.
So now it's just two people on a three-way call.
- (laughs) Technically, that's just a call.
- [Glen] Yes.
- So what have you been doing?
- Well, ah, well, I got the couple's massage.
- [Clara] I hope they gave you double the time.
- No, double the hands.
- Oh, okay.
Good.
- [Glen] Yeah, two masseurs.
- Oh.
- [Glen] But actually, you know, it was really good.
I thought, "Why have I had so few massages in my life?"
(sighs) I was really quite tight.
They had to keep telling me to relax.
- [Clara] Oh, that would make me more tense.
- Yeah.
(soft music)
But you know what?
I think I was...
I was pretty scared, actually, about you know.
(soft music)
Thanks for making me take this trip, sweetheart.
- Okay, well, I'm glad you're enjoying it.
- Yeah.
You know, being scared's a silly reason not to do something.
(soft music)
Anyway, look, you're probably busy.
I'll let you go.
Okay, I'll call you again soon.
Okay? - Okay.
Yeah, I'll talk to you soon, Dad.
- [Glen] All right, darling.
- Thanks.
- [Glen] Bye-bye, bye now.
- Thank you, Dad.
- [Glen] Okay.
- Okay, thanks. - Bye now.
- Thanks, bye, bye.
- [Glen] Bye.
(soft music)
- [Man] Hello?
- Hi, ah, is that Peter?
- [Man] What'd you say?
- Peter?
- [Man] No!
- Oh.
(bell chimes)
- Hello?
- [Clara] Peter.
- [Peter] Oh, hi.
- Hi, can I come up?
Hi.
- Hey.
- Um, I've just come to say that, um...
This thing is probably not a good idea.
- No?
- No.
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Da da da da da da ♪
We're just too different.
- Yeah, that's true.
You're not my type.
I don't like funny.
- [Clara] Oh, well, I prefer attractive men, so.
I don't care if it's old-fashioned.
I just want a relationship and I want a kid
and I don't want to waste time
with someone who's not right for me.
- Yeah.
I totally agree.
I don't want to be with someone unless they're all in.
- [Clara] Is that a sex pun?
- (laughs) Just a happy coincidence.
(both laugh)
♪ Ago now ♪
♪ And farewell far away ♪
♪ I think you should know ♪
♪ That the time that the time that the time is now ♪
♪ Da da da da da da ♪
♪ So long yesterday ♪
♪ Goodbye weeks ago now ♪
♪ And farewell far way ♪
♪ I think you should know ♪
♪ That the time that the time that the time is now ♪
♪ Da da da da da da ♪
♪ That the time that the time is now ♪
♪ Da da da da da da ♪
♪ That the time that the time is now ♪
(soft music)