1 00:00:01,169 --> 00:00:06,883 - Blue Ribbon Content presents "Batman: The Audio Adventures." 2 00:00:06,966 --> 00:00:12,388 [radio static] 3 00:00:12,472 --> 00:00:13,723 - [clears throat] 4 00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,433 We're rolling, Mickey? All right. 5 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,935 No, no, no, I'm good. Let's just get this in the can. 6 00:00:18,019 --> 00:00:20,062 It's only the lunatics out this time of night. 7 00:00:20,146 --> 00:00:21,063 Cue the intro! 8 00:00:21,147 --> 00:00:23,649 [upbeat music] 9 00:00:23,733 --> 00:00:27,320 - ♪ Gotham City One ♪ 10 00:00:27,403 --> 00:00:28,488 - Good evening, folks. 11 00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:29,989 Jack Ryder live for Gotham Cit-- 12 00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:31,032 [tires screeching] Ahh! 13 00:00:31,115 --> 00:00:32,325 - Hey! [crash] 14 00:00:32,408 --> 00:00:34,452 - Serves you right, you jackass! 15 00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:36,829 - Lowlife punk. - Back at you. 16 00:00:36,913 --> 00:00:38,998 - Ah, you hear that beautiful racket? 17 00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:41,083 That's the music of Gotham City, 18 00:00:41,167 --> 00:00:43,294 the largest city in the world, the big gargoyle, 19 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:44,712 the treasure of the night. 20 00:00:44,796 --> 00:00:46,255 Anyone who calls it a crime-infested hellhole 21 00:00:46,339 --> 00:00:47,548 is dead wrong. 22 00:00:47,632 --> 00:00:49,342 No way hell has such great pierogis. 23 00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:52,136 Who am I? Who are you, a tourist? 24 00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:54,722 I'm Jack Ryder, and this is "Gotham Is Talking" 25 00:00:54,806 --> 00:00:56,265 live on Gotham City One. 26 00:00:56,349 --> 00:00:58,059 I'm on the street in the heart of downtown 27 00:00:58,142 --> 00:01:00,019 to hear what Gotham is talking about tonight. 28 00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:01,854 And unless you've been living in a cave, 29 00:01:01,938 --> 00:01:04,148 you're talking about controversial local weirdo-- 30 00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:07,109 excuse me, hero, the Batman. 31 00:01:07,193 --> 00:01:09,362 After years of rumors, we find out 32 00:01:09,445 --> 00:01:11,030 not only is the Batman real, 33 00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:12,782 not only is he one of the good guys, 34 00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:14,992 turns out he's gonna be a cop. 35 00:01:15,076 --> 00:01:16,202 That's right. 36 00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:18,246 Our sources say, despite his campaign 37 00:01:18,329 --> 00:01:20,122 of illegal vigilante activity, 38 00:01:20,206 --> 00:01:23,209 the mysterious Batman is now officially working 39 00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:25,878 as a special consultant to the GCPD. 40 00:01:25,962 --> 00:01:28,214 As we wait for details from the mayor's office, 41 00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:32,218 we ask Gothamites in the grips of Batmania what they think 42 00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:33,886 about the big news. 43 00:01:33,970 --> 00:01:36,556 - Wait, the Batman's got a badge now? 44 00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:38,224 I don't know about that. 45 00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:40,726 He still gonna dangle punks off buildings? 46 00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:42,061 - Well-- 47 00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:43,729 - Because that's a public service right there. 48 00:01:43,813 --> 00:01:46,899 He dangled my mouthy brother-in-law off a building, 49 00:01:46,983 --> 00:01:49,902 and let's just say, you know, he's not so mouthy no more. 50 00:01:49,986 --> 00:01:51,362 Hey, Batman-- - Okay. 51 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,030 - If you're listening-- - Oh, he's not. 52 00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:54,699 - I got a cousin who needs an attitude adjustment. 53 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:56,284 - Oh, that's not-- - Yeah, his name is Frankie-- 54 00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:57,785 - Oh, don't say his name-- - Steampipe, 744-- 55 00:01:57,869 --> 00:01:59,078 - Don't say his address-- - West 87-- 56 00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:00,246 - You know what? Maybe cut him off. 57 00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:01,414 [beep] 58 00:02:01,497 --> 00:02:03,124 - I don't know about that Batman. 59 00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:05,084 He shows up, we get a Joker. 60 00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:07,295 Joker shows up, we get a Riddler. 61 00:02:07,378 --> 00:02:08,462 - Sure. - [coughing] 62 00:02:08,546 --> 00:02:09,922 - Ugh. Not all over the mic. 63 00:02:10,006 --> 00:02:11,757 - I'm getting out of town before some numskull 64 00:02:11,841 --> 00:02:13,467 tries a knock-knock gimmick. 65 00:02:13,551 --> 00:02:15,887 You know the Knock-Knocker is at home 66 00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:18,014 sewing himself a costume right now. 67 00:02:18,097 --> 00:02:19,223 [hacks] 68 00:02:19,307 --> 00:02:20,516 - You want a tissue or something? 69 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:21,684 - This friggin' town. [beep] 70 00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:23,060 - What do you think of the news 71 00:02:23,144 --> 00:02:24,395 that Batman is working with the city? 72 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,522 - Whoo! Go Gas Lamps! - Okay. 73 00:02:26,606 --> 00:02:29,483 - We're gonna win the pennant! Metropolis is a bunch of bums! 74 00:02:29,567 --> 00:02:31,611 - Oh, you know what? That's very immature. 75 00:02:31,694 --> 00:02:32,653 [beep] 76 00:02:32,737 --> 00:02:35,072 - Batman, not a fan, man. 77 00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:38,200 He's disruptive, man. - Disruptive, you say? 78 00:02:38,284 --> 00:02:39,911 - Yeah, man, like he pulled me 79 00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:43,456 out of the window of my car, man, while I was driving it. 80 00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:45,082 - Oh, my God. That's terrifying. 81 00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:47,919 - Yeah, man, I just stole that car, man! 82 00:02:48,002 --> 00:02:48,961 - Oh-- [beep] 83 00:02:49,045 --> 00:02:52,131 - Pencils, pencils for sale! 84 00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:53,216 [clinking] 85 00:02:53,299 --> 00:02:54,634 Gee, thanks, mister. 86 00:02:54,717 --> 00:02:56,886 - You got any thoughts about Batman, kid? 87 00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:58,095 - Batman? 88 00:02:58,179 --> 00:02:59,639 Well, you're gonna say it's corny, 89 00:02:59,722 --> 00:03:01,265 but I used to think that someday soon 90 00:03:01,349 --> 00:03:04,477 all Gotham City was just gonna collapse into a huge pit 91 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,771 of greed, and filth, and crazy, 92 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,481 but Batman makes me think 93 00:03:08,564 --> 00:03:10,900 that maybe there's a future for this town. 94 00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:13,486 - Kid, you may think you got nothing more in this world 95 00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:15,905 than a few coins in a tin cup, but let me tell you, 96 00:03:15,988 --> 00:03:17,949 you've got Gotham City spirit. 97 00:03:18,032 --> 00:03:19,408 And when you got that, you got-- 98 00:03:19,492 --> 00:03:21,035 - [cocks gun] - Oh, you got a gun barrel 99 00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:22,495 jammed into my chest. 100 00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:24,789 - That's right, shoeshine. This is a stickup. 101 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,666 You took that schmuck bait. 102 00:03:26,749 --> 00:03:28,751 - Gosh, not again. - Wow. What a maroon! 103 00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:30,836 Say, that camera looks expensive. 104 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:33,005 Why don't you hand it over to my pals there. 105 00:03:33,089 --> 00:03:36,008 Hey, Nico, Brainer, get the man's camera. 106 00:03:36,092 --> 00:03:38,636 - You're in your late 30s, aren't you, kid? 107 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:41,639 - Hey, thanks, pal. Just turned 42. 108 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,432 They call me Peach Fuzz Pinkerman 109 00:03:43,516 --> 00:03:45,017 if they asks who rolled ya. 110 00:03:45,101 --> 00:03:47,061 - Listen, fellas. Be reasonable. 111 00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,771 That camera belongs to the studio-- 112 00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:50,022 - Hand it over. - Okay. 113 00:03:50,106 --> 00:03:51,399 Don't--ow. - Come on, come on. 114 00:03:51,482 --> 00:03:52,692 I ain't got all day-- [crash] 115 00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:53,818 [gasps] What was that? 116 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,111 - What? 117 00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:56,529 - Nico, you see someone on that roof? 118 00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:57,863 You got someone on the roof, Ryder? 119 00:03:57,947 --> 00:03:59,573 - I don't know what-- [rustling] 120 00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:03,619 - What the hell--oh, no, man! It's him! 121 00:04:03,703 --> 00:04:05,371 It's-- 122 00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:07,123 - Hmm. 123 00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:10,501 [grunting, blows landing] 124 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:13,796 [batarangs unsheathe, glide] - Mickey, pick up the camera! 125 00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:16,173 Get the camera on him! 126 00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:18,634 It's...Batman! 127 00:04:18,718 --> 00:04:20,177 [smooth music] 128 00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:24,056 - Gotham, a city rising from eternal shadow 129 00:04:24,140 --> 00:04:26,267 to scrape the black sky. 130 00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:29,312 Join us now for a tale of life and death 131 00:04:29,395 --> 00:04:32,940 in Gotham City February 2nd. 132 00:04:33,024 --> 00:04:35,568 ♪ ♪ 133 00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:38,779 Our adventure begins at an unseemly hour 134 00:04:38,863 --> 00:04:42,491 in a darkened room reeking of imported cologne, 135 00:04:42,575 --> 00:04:43,909 new leather furniture, 136 00:04:43,993 --> 00:04:46,579 and the acrid whiff of narcotics. 137 00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:48,831 Welcome to the private office of one 138 00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:52,376 of Gotham City's many small-time vice lords. 139 00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:55,421 It's a secluded refuge from a decadent gathering 140 00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:58,424 of lowlifes having a party in the next room. 141 00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:00,342 [people laughing] 142 00:05:00,426 --> 00:05:03,846 We are alone for the moment until... 143 00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:05,723 [buttons beeping] 144 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,975 [door opens, people chatter] 145 00:05:08,059 --> 00:05:11,062 - In here, my beauty. This is my private office. 146 00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:13,939 We get to know each other better here, yes? 147 00:05:14,023 --> 00:05:15,149 [laughs] Look out. 148 00:05:15,232 --> 00:05:17,109 [clinking] - Whoops. [laughing] 149 00:05:17,193 --> 00:05:18,694 - Despite his bulk, 150 00:05:18,778 --> 00:05:21,614 the flamboyantly costumed criminal kingpin moves swiftly 151 00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:23,783 to catch the dizzy platinum blonde. 152 00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:25,326 - Ooh. [chuckles] 153 00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:26,827 Get to know each other. 154 00:05:26,911 --> 00:05:30,289 Well, I'm a good one to get to know, handsome. 155 00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:33,375 Wow, this is fancy digs. 156 00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:35,711 Ooh, look at that, a trick mirror? 157 00:05:35,795 --> 00:05:39,465 You can spy on the whole party from here, you sneaky pete. 158 00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,842 - Eh, you got to have the eyes everywhere 159 00:05:41,926 --> 00:05:44,845 if you want to survive in this town, chicky baby, right? 160 00:05:44,929 --> 00:05:46,931 You know how is Gotham City. 161 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:50,351 - Sure I do. I lived here my whole life. 162 00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:53,104 It's the world's biggest strip of flypaper 163 00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:57,149 where all the creepy creeps land and get stuck. 164 00:05:57,233 --> 00:06:00,194 - You do know Gotham, but do you know why? 165 00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:03,614 Do you know why so much crime in Gotham, yes? 166 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:07,868 Because every land of milk and honey have the thirsty cat 167 00:06:07,952 --> 00:06:10,746 and the hungry bear who want to taste. 168 00:06:10,830 --> 00:06:11,997 [sniffs] Mmm. 169 00:06:12,081 --> 00:06:13,791 - [chuckles] Thirsty cat, hm? 170 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:17,920 - Ali Baba, he find the cave full of 40 thieves, right? 171 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:21,006 Gotham got 40,000! 172 00:06:21,090 --> 00:06:23,843 But always is room for one more 173 00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:27,596 if you have the magic open sesame, yes? 174 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:30,182 - And do you got the magic open sesame? 175 00:06:30,266 --> 00:06:32,059 - [laughs] I has it right here. 176 00:06:32,143 --> 00:06:36,772 You see, this cabinet, this is my collection case. 177 00:06:36,856 --> 00:06:38,232 Open sesame. 178 00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:41,026 [door creaks] 179 00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:42,403 - [gasps] 180 00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:46,240 Geez, you got a whole lot of swords, you think? 181 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:51,287 - This is why they call me King Scimitar, babe. 182 00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:54,498 - Oh, I thought you was just foreign. 183 00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:56,709 - [laughs] No, no, foxy lady. 184 00:06:56,792 --> 00:06:59,003 Where God put souls in other men, 185 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,672 in me he put the blade. 186 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:05,926 I am King Scimitar. I am the cavalier of crime. 187 00:07:06,010 --> 00:07:09,597 I am the sword at Gotham's throat. 188 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:13,475 114 blades has King Scimitar. 189 00:07:13,559 --> 00:07:14,810 Look. 190 00:07:14,894 --> 00:07:17,396 Some are large. Some are small. 191 00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:20,900 But each has spilled much blood 192 00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:23,569 from one who would not pay me tribute. 193 00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:26,572 All except this blade right here. 194 00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:27,823 - Oh. 195 00:07:27,907 --> 00:07:29,783 - This is a blade like no other blade. 196 00:07:29,867 --> 00:07:35,039 You see how it shines? See how it cleaves the air? 197 00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:39,043 Its steel was folded 10,000 times in the forge. 198 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:42,838 The face of the devil is carved into the hilt. 199 00:07:42,922 --> 00:07:46,091 The blade is engraved with the foulest blasphemies 200 00:07:46,175 --> 00:07:48,552 in ten dead languages. 201 00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:52,431 I will not tell you where does this terrible thing come from. 202 00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,892 Only where finally it will rest, 203 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,978 deep in the heart of my most hated enemy. 204 00:07:58,062 --> 00:08:01,523 For this is the sword I'm going to use 205 00:08:01,607 --> 00:08:03,609 to kill the Batman. 206 00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,986 - You gonna kill the Batman? 207 00:08:06,070 --> 00:08:07,613 - You better believe it, I am. 208 00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:11,033 Everybody in Gotham gonna know the name King Scimitar 209 00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:13,285 after I get the Bat. 210 00:08:13,369 --> 00:08:15,579 First, I carve him to cutlets. 211 00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:18,624 Then I take the cutlets, and I chop it to confetti. 212 00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:21,961 And then I take the confetti, and I mince it into hash. 213 00:08:22,044 --> 00:08:24,421 And then you know what I'm gonna do? 214 00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:27,091 I'm gonna take all the tiny little Bat pieces, 215 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:31,303 and I'm gonna feed them one by one to Dagger and Shank. 216 00:08:31,387 --> 00:08:33,097 - Who's Dagger and Shank? 217 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,641 - Oh, Dagger and Shank, my pet tigers. 218 00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,142 [laughs] 219 00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:38,769 [tigers growling] Ah! 220 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,897 - You mean those tigers, big boy? 221 00:08:41,981 --> 00:08:44,608 - Dropping the cruel cutlass as he rushes 222 00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:46,277 to the two-way mirror, 223 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:49,738 the hapless pusherman sees his two giant pets sauntering 224 00:08:49,822 --> 00:08:51,282 at liberty into the party, 225 00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:55,077 unconcerned with the panic of the fleeing guests. 226 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,495 - What the nuts? 227 00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:58,330 How did they get out of basement? 228 00:08:58,414 --> 00:09:00,374 - I opened the door to the squalid cage 229 00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:03,294 you had them stuffed into, tragic moron. 230 00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:04,712 - What? 231 00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:07,172 - The bewildered miscreant turns around slowly 232 00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:09,758 to see his guest has shed her blonde wig 233 00:09:09,842 --> 00:09:12,761 and now holds the point of his prized weapon 234 00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:16,015 to his suddenly sweating throat. 235 00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:18,392 - Yep, about 20 minutes ago 236 00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:21,687 while you were polishing your sword somewhere. 237 00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:24,064 - You--you're her. 238 00:09:24,148 --> 00:09:26,317 You're that cat b--ow! 239 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,361 - Ah-ah-ah-ah, manners. - Woman. 240 00:09:29,445 --> 00:09:32,448 Catwoman, woman, Catwoman! 241 00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:34,158 - [chuckles] Surprise. 242 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,035 You gotta have the eyes everywhere 243 00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:38,746 if you want to survive in this town, chicky baby. 244 00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:41,623 - Oh, no, this is bad. This is very bad. 245 00:09:41,707 --> 00:09:43,542 - Now then, in about ten seconds, 246 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,294 the tigers and I are walking out of here 247 00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:47,087 with the contents of your personal safe 248 00:09:47,171 --> 00:09:49,465 and anything else I see I like. 249 00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:51,592 - Huh? - But I tell you what. 250 00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:53,802 I'll leave the corny sword. 251 00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:57,056 You can pawn it and buy a bus ticket out of town. 252 00:09:57,139 --> 00:09:58,849 - Leave town? [impact] 253 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,225 Oh, no! 254 00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:03,771 - Stay, and your rivals will eat you alive. 255 00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:05,939 That's if I don't send the tigers back 256 00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:07,775 to do the job first. [tigers growl] 257 00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:10,736 - I am ruined. - Yes, you are. 258 00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:12,071 [grunts] [sword clangs] 259 00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:13,781 Congratulations, your highness. 260 00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:15,491 [impact] - Ahh--oof. 261 00:10:15,574 --> 00:10:19,453 - Everybody in Gotham is gonna know the name King Scimitar. 262 00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:20,746 [laughs] 263 00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:22,623 - A fool and his money are parted, 264 00:10:22,706 --> 00:10:25,751 and Catwoman adds to her lavish personal fortune, 265 00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:28,045 but is this a routine deposit? 266 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,798 And have we heard the last of King Scimitar? 267 00:10:30,881 --> 00:10:31,965 Stay tuned. 268 00:10:32,049 --> 00:10:34,218 The answers await in a future tale 269 00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:37,262 of life and death in Gotham City. 270 00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:40,933 ♪ ♪ 271 00:10:43,018 --> 00:10:45,270 - The future, accelerated. 272 00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:46,980 - Wayne Enterpri-- 273 00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:49,066 [radio static] 274 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:53,904 - ♪ Dark purple dawn when the moo-- ♪ 275 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:58,909 - Final score is Gotham Gas Lamps 3, Metropolis-- 276 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:01,537 - He's a zany clown. [slide whistle] 277 00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:04,498 - He's a kooky clown! [horn honks] 278 00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:08,877 - He's an "in no way affiliated with the Joker" clown. 279 00:11:08,961 --> 00:11:12,005 He's Blabbo the birthday clown. 280 00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:15,259 - He's available for your party or special event. 281 00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,302 - And he, once again, wants to stress 282 00:11:17,386 --> 00:11:19,471 he's in no way affiliated with the Joker. 283 00:11:19,555 --> 00:11:21,348 [upbeat music] 284 00:11:21,432 --> 00:11:23,809 - ♪ Blabbo the birthday clown ♪ 285 00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:27,104 ♪ He is just a birthday clown ♪ 286 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:30,566 ♪ It's a really bad time to be a birthday clown ♪ 287 00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:34,278 ♪ So maybe help him out ♪ 288 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,530 - Blabbo the birthday clown. 289 00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:39,700 His only crime is a really old vehicular manslaughter. 290 00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:41,535 [radio static] 291 00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:44,413 - Gotham, the city is a silk glove 292 00:11:44,496 --> 00:11:46,248 hiding brass knuckles. 293 00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:49,501 Join us now for another tale of life and death 294 00:11:49,585 --> 00:11:52,838 in Gotham City. 295 00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:57,801 [buzzing] 296 00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:00,512 A rooftop in Gotham's Little China 297 00:12:00,596 --> 00:12:02,556 on a starless night. 298 00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:06,810 - The buzzing sound you hear is 10,000 volts of neon signage, 299 00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:11,315 high atop Yin and Yang's Dim Sum Palace and Dumpling House. 300 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:15,486 A blazing electric yin and yang symbol two stories high 301 00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:18,071 whose sputtering radiance is presently reflected 302 00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:21,700 in the wide open eyes of a terrified hostage. 303 00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:25,287 - Please don't do this. Don't do this. 304 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:28,415 - He's bound hand and foot and standing 305 00:12:28,499 --> 00:12:30,793 beneath the sizzling electric advertisement 306 00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:32,836 in a rusty tub of water. 307 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:36,048 Nearby, his captor is bickering angrily 308 00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:38,050 with a relentless adversary. 309 00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:39,843 - You better watch your big, fat--hey! 310 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:41,929 - Oh, pipe down, you simpleton. 311 00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:45,140 Hey, Einstein, the circuit breaker's over there. 312 00:12:45,224 --> 00:12:47,226 - This isn't my first electrocution. 313 00:12:47,309 --> 00:12:49,478 I know what I'm doing. - Sure you do. 314 00:12:49,561 --> 00:12:51,355 College boy knows everything. 315 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:52,773 - Probably seems like it to you, 316 00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:54,900 doesn't it, you ignorant malcontent? 317 00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:57,152 - [laughs] Nuts to that. 318 00:12:57,236 --> 00:12:59,947 College boy can't wash behind his own ears. 319 00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:02,241 - Despite how it may sound, 320 00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:04,743 his adversary is himself. 321 00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:09,081 He is one man with two voices raised in ceaseless squabble. 322 00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:12,042 This conflicted creature is what remains of the man 323 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:16,338 who once was Gotham City district attorney Harvey Dent. 324 00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:19,466 An act of spite left him with half his face 325 00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:22,177 and a double occupancy inside his head. 326 00:13:22,261 --> 00:13:24,763 - You know what I think? - Yeah, I know you don't think. 327 00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:27,933 - I think this whole electrocution gimmick 328 00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:29,434 is for the birds. 329 00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:30,769 - Oh, then it's a good thing 330 00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:32,187 your opinion means nothing to me. 331 00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:34,773 - At once, he is both Jekyll and Hyde, 332 00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:38,944 a smooth gentleman criminal and a cruel and vicious thug. 333 00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:42,197 And their disputes are settled by the pitiless physics 334 00:13:42,281 --> 00:13:43,699 of a tossed coin. 335 00:13:43,782 --> 00:13:46,493 [coin clinks] 336 00:13:46,577 --> 00:13:50,914 Now Gotham City calls him Two-Face. 337 00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:52,416 - I said from the beginning, 338 00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:54,626 we should just split this drip down the middle 339 00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:56,128 with a chainsaw, 340 00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:57,379 problem solved. 341 00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:58,797 - Ahh! 342 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:01,133 - Yes, well, we flipped for it, and you lost. 343 00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:03,010 And you know what we always say... 344 00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:05,387 - [groans] Don't argue with the coin. 345 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:08,140 - We don't argue with the coin. 346 00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:10,142 - [shivering nervously] You don't have to do this. 347 00:14:10,225 --> 00:14:12,644 - That is not accurate, pal. 348 00:14:12,728 --> 00:14:14,229 - We're sticklers for precision. 349 00:14:14,313 --> 00:14:16,898 We're extremely thorough. - Two words, chief. 350 00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:18,400 - Yes, neat and tidy. 351 00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:21,737 - Uh-uh, tooth and nail. - What? 352 00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:23,405 - And every dish needs its spoon. 353 00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:25,866 You understand that? We're not savages here. 354 00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:27,701 - Heh, speak for yourself. - [wails] 355 00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:30,078 - The point is, sir, you're a remainder. 356 00:14:30,162 --> 00:14:31,538 - W-what? 357 00:14:31,622 --> 00:14:34,791 - By our calculations, you're a yin without a yang. 358 00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:38,503 And that's about as useful as a pair of left shoes. 359 00:14:38,587 --> 00:14:40,881 So we have to balance the books, 360 00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:43,091 do a little creative accounting. 361 00:14:43,175 --> 00:14:45,927 - Don't worry. It's all perfectly legal. 362 00:14:46,011 --> 00:14:47,346 - No, it isn't. 363 00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:48,972 It's murder one with malice a forethought. 364 00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:51,725 - Fine, fine, you're the lawyer in this outfit. 365 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,352 I'm just here for the screaming. 366 00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:56,855 And lonesome Joe here looks like a screamer. 367 00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,148 - [whimpers] 368 00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,067 - Ignore him please, sir. 369 00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:03,362 And stand still while we wire you up. 370 00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:06,073 - Please, I have a wife at home. 371 00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:08,241 - Oh, yeah, your better half, huh? 372 00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:10,452 Well, you should've brought her out tonight. 373 00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:12,371 That would've evened things up 374 00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:15,290 but made all of this unnecessary. 375 00:15:15,374 --> 00:15:17,834 - As the terrified captive awaits his end, 376 00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:20,879 he has no way to know his rescue is at hand, 377 00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:23,548 for the scene is surreptitiously surveyed 378 00:15:23,632 --> 00:15:26,927 by a sharp silhouette on an adjacent rooftop. 379 00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:28,720 [dramatic music] 380 00:15:28,804 --> 00:15:30,138 - Batman to Robin. 381 00:15:30,222 --> 00:15:31,890 I'm in position and have a clear line of sight 382 00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:34,184 on the hostage and Harvey. 383 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,895 He left his thugs with the hostages downstairs. 384 00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:38,897 They're all yours. - Acknowledged. 385 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,857 I've secured the alley behind the restaurant, 386 00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:42,651 and I'm standing by to kick in the kitchen door 387 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:45,028 and bust some skulls. - Hmm. 388 00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:47,739 Say "infiltrate and neutralize" please, Robin. 389 00:15:47,823 --> 00:15:49,908 Stand by for a signal as soon as the hostage 390 00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:51,535 on the roof is out of danger. 391 00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:52,869 - You can save him, Batman? 392 00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:54,830 - I'm still calculating that, Robin. 393 00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:56,707 I don't yet see a nonlethal option 394 00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,250 for taking down Harvey. 395 00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:01,253 - Batman, what if it comes to the lethal option? 396 00:16:01,336 --> 00:16:04,214 - Nobody's dying tonight, Robin. 397 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,425 Thermal shows you have 32 hostages 398 00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:08,593 in the main dining room. 399 00:16:08,677 --> 00:16:11,847 Two armed hostiles right behind that kitchen door. 400 00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,891 - Bob and Bub, Two-Face's trigger twins. 401 00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,394 But hostage-taking in a Chinese restaurant? 402 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:20,439 This is real small-ball for a kingpin like Two-Face. 403 00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:22,941 - It's February 2nd, Robin, 2/2, 404 00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:25,026 and exactly two years ago today, 405 00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:27,237 Harvey Dent suffered the disfiguring attack 406 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,613 that created Two-Face. 407 00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:30,490 His obsession with his own duality is 408 00:16:30,574 --> 00:16:32,617 beyond his control right now. 409 00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:35,537 - I get it now, yin and yang. 410 00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,122 Holy trigger warning. 411 00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:38,665 - We got here just in time. 412 00:16:38,749 --> 00:16:41,626 A review of security footage shows 34 minutes ago, 413 00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:43,962 Two-Face took the entire restaurant hostage. 414 00:16:44,045 --> 00:16:46,214 [machine gun fires] - Everybody, hands up! 415 00:16:46,298 --> 00:16:47,758 - He held the patrons and the staff at gunpoint. 416 00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:49,384 - You're all hostages now! 417 00:16:49,468 --> 00:16:51,011 - While he obsessively arranged everything in the room 418 00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:53,138 into symmetrical pairs. - Black and white... 419 00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:56,266 - The furnishings, the food, every last pair of chopsticks, 420 00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:59,060 he divided into yins and yangs. 421 00:16:59,144 --> 00:17:02,230 - Whoa. I see where this is going. 422 00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:04,941 - When he tried to divide the hostages into two groups-- 423 00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:06,485 - He had an odd number! 424 00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:08,528 - And now he's going to eliminate the extra digit 425 00:17:08,612 --> 00:17:10,530 unless I time this perfectly. 426 00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:13,658 ♪ ♪ 427 00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:15,452 [buzzing] - [groaning] 428 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:16,912 Get on the alligator clamps, 429 00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:18,997 and get the GD chainsaw, you sissy. 430 00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:20,749 - I get so tired of explaining things to you. 431 00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:22,584 - [muffled whine] - It has to be 432 00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,961 electrocution alternating current. 433 00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,838 Positive, negative, positive, negative. 434 00:17:26,922 --> 00:17:29,382 This is a deadly dance of opposites. 435 00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:31,468 Don't you get the poetry of it? 436 00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,011 - Here's some poetry: 437 00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:36,097 Roses are red. Get the damn chainsaw. 438 00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:37,599 - Oh, forget the chainsaw. 439 00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:40,101 This is supposed to be a concept murder. 440 00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:41,812 Yin and yang. 441 00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:44,773 It's right up there in blazing neon, you chimp. 442 00:17:44,856 --> 00:17:46,942 Is any of this making sense to you? 443 00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:49,486 - [whimpers] Sweet mercy. 444 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,321 Completely insane. 445 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:54,324 - He really is. You don't know the half of it. 446 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,535 - He was talking about you, you twerp. 447 00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,036 - Let's just get this over with. 448 00:17:58,119 --> 00:17:59,663 - Fine. 449 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:02,958 - The fractured fiend brings the crackling alligator clamps 450 00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:05,544 closer, closer... 451 00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:07,629 - I hope you go to heaven, pally, 452 00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,339 but I'd be lying if I didn't tell you 453 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,132 there's two possibilities. 454 00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:14,636 - But just as the fatal current arcs toward the hapless victim, 455 00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:17,097 a sudden split second of opportunity 456 00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:20,809 into which a batarang flies. 457 00:18:20,892 --> 00:18:23,061 It slices through the Gotham night 458 00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:26,565 and lodges itself in the open fuse box. 459 00:18:26,648 --> 00:18:29,234 The towering neon sign surges, 460 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:32,487 turning night to day with blinding white light 461 00:18:32,571 --> 00:18:34,906 before-- [explosion] 462 00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:38,410 exploding in a jubilee of golden and blue sparks. 463 00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:39,578 - What? 464 00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:42,372 - Somehow, the Batman is now behind them. 465 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:45,041 - The fuse is blown, Harvey. It's over. 466 00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:46,418 Let the man go. 467 00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:48,920 - Batman, we can never have a night out 468 00:18:49,004 --> 00:18:50,672 without you ruining things. 469 00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:52,966 - Yeah, three's a crowd, pally. 470 00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,010 - Batman to Robin, hostage is secure. 471 00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:57,596 Kick in the door, and bust some skulls. 472 00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:59,973 - Yeah, copy the heck out of that! 473 00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,224 - Harvey-- 474 00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:02,767 - Now don't move a muscle, Batman. 475 00:19:02,851 --> 00:19:04,102 - Come here! - Hey, don't-- 476 00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:06,313 - We still got a trusty .22. 477 00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:08,523 - And I'd venture to guess Mr. Yin here 478 00:19:08,607 --> 00:19:11,401 isn't feeling all that secure at the moment. 479 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,278 - [whimpers] Let go! 480 00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:14,738 - What do you think, Batman? 481 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,032 You're fast, but, uh... [cocks gun] 482 00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:19,200 are you faster than point-blank? 483 00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:20,368 - [whimpering] 484 00:19:20,452 --> 00:19:22,913 - No, but I don't need to be. 485 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,957 - Batman drops slowly into a crouch. 486 00:19:26,041 --> 00:19:28,126 - I just need to give you a little room 487 00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:29,419 to make a mistake. 488 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,963 - [laughs] We don't make mistakes. 489 00:19:32,047 --> 00:19:36,051 - I don't mean you and Harvey. I mean you, Two-Face. 490 00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:38,511 I know Harvey runs things. 491 00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:40,597 - Shut up. - Shut up. 492 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,849 - You're dead weight on Harvey's back. 493 00:19:42,933 --> 00:19:44,935 - I said shut it, Bats. 494 00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:47,354 - I think you're so used to sharing Harvey's good ideas 495 00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:49,189 that if you ever had to think for yourself, 496 00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:51,191 you couldn't take up the slack. 497 00:19:51,274 --> 00:19:54,319 That'd be all the time I need. - Think for myself? 498 00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:55,862 What's that supposed to mean? 499 00:19:55,946 --> 00:19:59,240 - Imperceptibly, Batman shifts his weight forward. 500 00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:01,868 - I'd tell you, but Harvey would just have 501 00:20:01,952 --> 00:20:03,203 to explain it to you. 502 00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:05,121 - [laughs] He's right about that. 503 00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:07,165 - What are you laughing at, you snot? 504 00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:11,002 What, you think you can catch me flat-footed, Bats? 505 00:20:11,086 --> 00:20:12,504 - Sure I do. 506 00:20:12,587 --> 00:20:15,548 All I have to do is have one word with Harvey alone. 507 00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:17,676 - Ha-ha, good luck with that. 508 00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:20,220 If you ain't noticed, not a lot of privacy 509 00:20:20,303 --> 00:20:22,180 between me and Harvey here. 510 00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:26,059 - We'll see about that, Harvey. 511 00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:29,562 [speaks Latin] 512 00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:33,900 - The odd Latin adage seems to echo in the night air. 513 00:20:33,984 --> 00:20:36,736 And as if it were a magic incantation, 514 00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:39,280 something stirs in Two-Face, 515 00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:43,326 something that used to be district attorney Harvey Dent. 516 00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:47,872 - [speaks Latin] 517 00:20:47,956 --> 00:20:50,375 - Huh, well played, Batman. 518 00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:54,254 - What--I don't--what did he say? 519 00:20:54,337 --> 00:20:55,672 What did you say, Batman? 520 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,215 - It's Latin, Two-Face, 521 00:20:57,298 --> 00:20:59,968 something any first-year law student understands. 522 00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:03,096 - What's the problem, didn't you pass the bar, too? 523 00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:04,806 - [grunts] - Just Harvey then. 524 00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:06,850 - You trying to talk over my head? 525 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:09,686 You looking down your pointy nose at me? 526 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:12,147 - Every muscle in Batman's frame tenses, 527 00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:14,733 ready for ten different contingencies, 528 00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:17,027 but it's Harvey who speaks next. 529 00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:18,361 - Oh, shut up. 530 00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:20,155 The hostage gets another coin toss. 531 00:21:20,238 --> 00:21:21,281 - What? 532 00:21:21,364 --> 00:21:22,991 What did the Bat just say to you? 533 00:21:23,074 --> 00:21:25,994 - He reminded me we all deserve the benefit of the doubt. 534 00:21:26,077 --> 00:21:28,705 All you need to know is it was Latin for, 535 00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:30,915 "This mook gets another coin toss." 536 00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:34,836 But make no mistake, Batman, this toss... 537 00:21:34,919 --> 00:21:36,171 - With a rolling motion, 538 00:21:36,254 --> 00:21:38,173 his fingers produce a silver dollar. 539 00:21:38,256 --> 00:21:41,176 - Decides this man's life. 540 00:21:41,259 --> 00:21:43,678 - And before even the Batman can react, 541 00:21:43,762 --> 00:21:46,765 a flick of Two-Face's thumb sends the coin airborne, 542 00:21:46,848 --> 00:21:53,229 a spinning blur that hits the ground 543 00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:55,273 to reveal... 544 00:21:55,356 --> 00:21:58,234 - Looks like the coin returns a verdict 545 00:21:58,318 --> 00:21:59,319 of innocent. 546 00:21:59,402 --> 00:22:00,862 - Oh, thank-- - Shut up! 547 00:22:00,945 --> 00:22:03,239 I knew it! - Here you go, Batman. 548 00:22:03,323 --> 00:22:05,784 - The frightened captive is shoved into the arms 549 00:22:05,867 --> 00:22:07,410 of the caped crusader. 550 00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:09,079 - Oh, thank God. 551 00:22:09,162 --> 00:22:10,455 - You're all right, sir, 552 00:22:10,538 --> 00:22:12,540 and you're finally going to Arkham Asylum, Harvey. 553 00:22:12,624 --> 00:22:15,502 Don't make this difficult. They're going to help you. 554 00:22:15,585 --> 00:22:17,629 They can make you whole again. 555 00:22:17,712 --> 00:22:20,381 - [cackles] Not tonight, Batsy. 556 00:22:20,465 --> 00:22:22,801 - What is that sound? Robin, report. 557 00:22:22,884 --> 00:22:24,511 Have you secured Harvey's thugs? 558 00:22:24,594 --> 00:22:25,762 - Negative, Batman. 559 00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:27,305 All the hostages are safe, 560 00:22:27,389 --> 00:22:29,349 but Bob and Bub made a getaway! 561 00:22:29,432 --> 00:22:32,310 - Yeah, the boys had to bring the car around. 562 00:22:32,393 --> 00:22:34,229 - Incoming! Get down. 563 00:22:34,312 --> 00:22:38,066 - Eh, car, airplane, same difference. 564 00:22:38,149 --> 00:22:40,443 - Batman, what's going on up there? 565 00:22:40,527 --> 00:22:43,071 - Harvey's thugs are scraping the roof with a biplane. 566 00:22:43,154 --> 00:22:44,823 Get down, sir! [gunfire] 567 00:22:44,906 --> 00:22:46,741 - Drop the ladder, boys. 568 00:22:46,825 --> 00:22:49,202 - We enjoyed the dialogue, Batman. 569 00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:52,664 We'll be beside ourselves until we meet again. 570 00:22:52,747 --> 00:22:54,165 - Just shut up! 571 00:22:54,249 --> 00:22:56,167 You embarrass me when you say stuff like that. 572 00:22:56,251 --> 00:22:57,335 Do you realize that? 573 00:22:57,418 --> 00:22:59,504 You sound so-so damn goofy. 574 00:22:59,587 --> 00:23:04,551 ♪ ♪ 575 00:23:04,634 --> 00:23:07,053 - Harvey has escaped, Robin. I failed. 576 00:23:07,137 --> 00:23:09,806 He's loose to continue his insane rampage. 577 00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:11,724 - Batman, we didn't lose. 578 00:23:11,808 --> 00:23:13,268 You saved a man's life. 579 00:23:13,351 --> 00:23:15,687 - Blind luck saved that man's life, Robin. 580 00:23:15,770 --> 00:23:17,230 And that's not acceptable. 581 00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:18,857 Someday, I'm not going to be there 582 00:23:18,940 --> 00:23:21,025 when the coin comes down on the wrong side. 583 00:23:21,109 --> 00:23:24,737 I realize now, even though he once was my best friend, 584 00:23:24,821 --> 00:23:28,408 I have to somehow save the life of Harvey Dent 585 00:23:28,491 --> 00:23:30,869 or end it once and for all. 586 00:23:30,952 --> 00:23:32,579 ♪ ♪ 587 00:23:32,662 --> 00:23:36,207 - As unfaltering as a sunrise is the Batman's belief 588 00:23:36,291 --> 00:23:37,667 in second chances. 589 00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:40,253 But Harvey "Two-Face" Dent has officially had 590 00:23:40,336 --> 00:23:42,338 too many second chances. 591 00:23:42,422 --> 00:23:44,215 What will be his final fate? 592 00:23:44,299 --> 00:23:46,718 The clues can be found in a future report 593 00:23:46,801 --> 00:23:50,555 filed under life and death in Gotham City. 594 00:23:50,638 --> 00:23:54,184 ♪ ♪ 595 00:23:54,267 --> 00:23:57,729 - Gotham's famous Iceberg Casino heats up 596 00:23:57,812 --> 00:24:00,315 with that swinging Casanova of the cabaret, 597 00:24:00,398 --> 00:24:03,568 that devilish director of dancehall do-si-do, 598 00:24:03,651 --> 00:24:07,363 Stoveplate Sullivan and his Potbelly Orchestra. 599 00:24:07,447 --> 00:24:09,490 [upbeat music] 600 00:24:09,574 --> 00:24:14,412 - ♪ Well, I'ma going on down to Gotham Infirmary ♪ 601 00:24:14,495 --> 00:24:18,249 ♪ Got six little fishes, laid out them each ♪ 602 00:24:18,333 --> 00:24:21,669 ♪ They pull them right out the cold, cold harbor ♪ 603 00:24:21,753 --> 00:24:25,924 ♪ 'Cause fishes can't swim with cement feet ♪ 604 00:24:26,007 --> 00:24:27,550 ♪ ♪ 605 00:24:27,634 --> 00:24:31,596 - Star of stage and cinema, Stoveplate Sullivan appears 606 00:24:31,679 --> 00:24:34,265 at the Iceberg Casino every Saturday night 607 00:24:34,349 --> 00:24:36,601 for an exclusive long-term engagement. 608 00:24:36,684 --> 00:24:38,061 There's no bigger name 609 00:24:38,144 --> 00:24:39,938 in big band than Stoveplate Sullivan, 610 00:24:40,021 --> 00:24:41,940 and you won't see him anywhere else 611 00:24:42,023 --> 00:24:46,945 but at Oswald Cobblepot's world-renowned Iceberg Casino. 612 00:24:47,028 --> 00:24:49,239 At least, you'd better not see him anywhere else. 613 00:24:49,322 --> 00:24:50,907 He signed an exclusive contract, 614 00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:52,867 and Mr. Cobblepot doesn't take that lightly. 615 00:24:52,951 --> 00:24:54,786 Stoveplate Sullivan's from Hollywood, 616 00:24:54,869 --> 00:24:57,538 and he might not know how we do things in Gotham City, 617 00:24:57,622 --> 00:24:58,957 but friendly advice, 618 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,209 he should avoid finding out the hard way. 619 00:25:01,292 --> 00:25:05,129 - ♪ If I die tomorrow in Gotham ♪ 620 00:25:05,213 --> 00:25:09,133 ♪ I'll leave behind a fortune in sin ♪ 621 00:25:09,217 --> 00:25:13,096 ♪ But if I died last night in Gotham ♪ 622 00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:18,601 ♪ Don't tell me till I finish my gin ♪ 623 00:25:18,685 --> 00:25:21,104 Please, can I see my daughter now? 624 00:25:21,187 --> 00:25:24,315 - The Iceberg Casino... - [quacking laughter] 625 00:25:24,399 --> 00:25:27,694 - Where everyone's a peng-winner! 626 00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:31,281 [soft dramatic music] 627 00:25:31,364 --> 00:25:34,659 - "Life and Death in Gotham City" Epilogue. 628 00:25:34,742 --> 00:25:36,494 ♪ ♪ 629 00:25:36,577 --> 00:25:38,705 [carnival music playing, children laugh] 630 00:25:38,788 --> 00:25:41,958 Once this wide stretch of Gotham's waterfront was known 631 00:25:42,041 --> 00:25:45,003 as Amusement Mile, a glittering pleasure district 632 00:25:45,086 --> 00:25:47,964 where wholesome thrills were sold for a nickel ticket, 633 00:25:48,047 --> 00:25:50,508 and ice cream men in crisp white uniforms 634 00:25:50,591 --> 00:25:53,636 sold smiles by the scoop. 635 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,305 [dramatic music] 636 00:25:55,388 --> 00:25:58,349 Today, it stands abandoned and defunct. 637 00:25:58,433 --> 00:25:59,726 Like so much of Gotham, 638 00:25:59,809 --> 00:26:02,562 it is a rotting reminder of her happier days. 639 00:26:02,645 --> 00:26:04,480 [seagulls cawing] 640 00:26:04,564 --> 00:26:07,859 Two shady figures slip through a decomposing fence 641 00:26:07,942 --> 00:26:10,320 to stalk the abandoned funfair. 642 00:26:10,403 --> 00:26:12,030 Once a park of amusements, 643 00:26:12,113 --> 00:26:16,200 now it is a kingdom of rats, and trash, and broken windows. 644 00:26:16,284 --> 00:26:19,871 And its monarch is a monster. - [cackling] 645 00:26:19,954 --> 00:26:23,958 - Tonight, these two seek an audience with his majesty. 646 00:26:24,042 --> 00:26:25,960 ♪ ♪ 647 00:26:26,044 --> 00:26:28,004 - It's just, I really need a job, 648 00:26:28,087 --> 00:26:30,381 and I want to be part of something big. 649 00:26:30,465 --> 00:26:31,966 - Okay, man, relax. 650 00:26:32,050 --> 00:26:33,551 I'm telling you, it's just a job interview, 651 00:26:33,634 --> 00:26:34,802 nothing to sweat. 652 00:26:34,886 --> 00:26:36,220 I've worked for the man for years. 653 00:26:36,304 --> 00:26:37,972 The pay is unbelievable. 654 00:26:38,056 --> 00:26:42,352 The messed up stories, well, they're just stories, man. 655 00:26:42,435 --> 00:26:45,396 Geez louise, you look like you just saw the Bat. 656 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,065 You're gonna be great. 657 00:26:47,148 --> 00:26:51,235 - He gonna like me? - I didn't say that. 658 00:26:51,319 --> 00:26:53,946 - He scary? - Heh. 659 00:26:54,030 --> 00:26:57,575 Only if you're afraid of clowns. 660 00:26:57,658 --> 00:27:01,871 - A'ight, so everybody's heard he's hiring all of a sudden, 661 00:27:01,954 --> 00:27:05,666 which is weird 'cause he's kind of been real quiet lately. 662 00:27:05,750 --> 00:27:07,794 - Oh, yeah, the boss was terrible blue 663 00:27:07,877 --> 00:27:09,420 when they let him out of Arkham last time. 664 00:27:09,504 --> 00:27:10,963 He moped around like crazy. 665 00:27:11,047 --> 00:27:13,216 "Nothing is funny anymore," he said. 666 00:27:13,299 --> 00:27:15,843 If I'm honest, I thought that maybe this time, 667 00:27:15,927 --> 00:27:18,304 you know, they actually cured him, you know? 668 00:27:18,388 --> 00:27:19,972 Like, he wasn't faking this time. 669 00:27:20,056 --> 00:27:22,016 [glass shatters, cat yowls] Then all of a sudden, 670 00:27:22,100 --> 00:27:25,228 one day last week, he's his old self again. 671 00:27:25,311 --> 00:27:27,688 You know what that means. - Uh, no. 672 00:27:27,772 --> 00:27:30,441 - It means, take your seats, ladies and gentlemen, 673 00:27:30,525 --> 00:27:33,236 the show's about to begin. 674 00:27:33,319 --> 00:27:35,196 - I want to be part of it, man. 675 00:27:35,279 --> 00:27:38,032 This is gonna be legendary. 676 00:27:38,116 --> 00:27:39,992 Hey, I worked for the Riddler for a few weeks. 677 00:27:40,076 --> 00:27:41,619 Do I tell him that? - Nah, man. 678 00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:43,746 It's better if you don't mention the Riddler. 679 00:27:43,830 --> 00:27:47,041 He says the Riddler's crazy. - [laughs] 680 00:27:47,125 --> 00:27:51,087 He says the Riddler is crazy. [laughs] 681 00:27:51,170 --> 00:27:53,506 That's like the kook calling the wacko nuts, 682 00:27:53,589 --> 00:27:56,300 you know what I mean? [rats squeaking] 683 00:27:56,384 --> 00:27:58,302 What? What's that look for? 684 00:27:58,386 --> 00:27:59,887 What'd I say? 685 00:27:59,971 --> 00:28:02,974 - Yeah, okay, this is a good time to go over the rules. 686 00:28:03,057 --> 00:28:04,809 - Th-there's rules? 687 00:28:04,892 --> 00:28:08,479 - First, do not kid about the subject of mental health 688 00:28:08,563 --> 00:28:10,982 in front of him. - Oh, shoot, yeah? 689 00:28:11,065 --> 00:28:14,819 - And don't go anywhere near the subject in any context. 690 00:28:14,902 --> 00:28:18,364 It's personal for him. - Oh, yeah, right, for sure. 691 00:28:18,448 --> 00:28:19,991 - Now, he might bring it up, 692 00:28:20,074 --> 00:28:22,201 maybe ask you if you've ever seen a shrink before. 693 00:28:22,285 --> 00:28:24,203 Make something up quick if you have to, 694 00:28:24,287 --> 00:28:27,331 but don't say no because that will light him up, 695 00:28:27,415 --> 00:28:30,418 and he'll want to peel your skull like an egg. 696 00:28:30,501 --> 00:28:32,753 - Oh, want to what now? 697 00:28:32,837 --> 00:28:36,674 - You know, be the first to, uh, poke around in your attic. 698 00:28:36,757 --> 00:28:40,011 Psychiatry is his hobby, and he's not good at it. 699 00:28:40,094 --> 00:28:43,139 But hey, go for it if that sounds like fun. 700 00:28:43,222 --> 00:28:45,099 He'll strap you to a couch and ask you questions 701 00:28:45,183 --> 00:28:47,059 about your mother for 30 hours straight. 702 00:28:47,143 --> 00:28:48,644 - Cripes, man. 703 00:28:48,728 --> 00:28:52,982 - Now, do not eat or drink anything he might offer you. 704 00:28:53,065 --> 00:28:55,234 This will offend him, not gonna lie, 705 00:28:55,318 --> 00:28:58,237 but that beats taking your chances with anything 706 00:28:58,321 --> 00:28:59,822 you gotta put in your mouth. 707 00:28:59,906 --> 00:29:02,909 See, a lot of his jokes have the same punchline, 708 00:29:02,992 --> 00:29:05,328 you getting your stomach pumped. 709 00:29:05,411 --> 00:29:08,539 - I-I don't know about this--any of this. 710 00:29:08,623 --> 00:29:11,125 I think I'm gonna-- - Hey, speaking of jokes, 711 00:29:11,209 --> 00:29:14,337 if he starts telling a corny old joke you've heard before, 712 00:29:14,420 --> 00:29:17,048 for crying out loud, don't fake laugh. 713 00:29:17,131 --> 00:29:19,884 I'm serious as stage four, man. Do not do it. 714 00:29:19,967 --> 00:29:21,511 I mean, how you thread that needle's up to you, 715 00:29:21,594 --> 00:29:23,596 but if he feels like you're condescending to him 716 00:29:23,679 --> 00:29:25,097 on the subject of humor [chuckles] 717 00:29:25,181 --> 00:29:27,850 he will stick a switchblade up your nose. 718 00:29:27,934 --> 00:29:31,896 Best bet is just be polite. 719 00:29:31,979 --> 00:29:35,191 - Your advice is "be polite." 720 00:29:35,274 --> 00:29:36,817 - That's always good advice, 721 00:29:36,901 --> 00:29:39,403 even when you're not meeting the clown prince of crime. 722 00:29:39,487 --> 00:29:42,406 Now, this is it, his office. 723 00:29:42,490 --> 00:29:43,908 - The two men have stopped abruptly 724 00:29:43,991 --> 00:29:46,327 at a ramshackle façade that somewhere, 725 00:29:46,410 --> 00:29:48,955 under decades of graffiti and grime, 726 00:29:49,038 --> 00:29:51,707 might still say "fun house." 727 00:29:51,791 --> 00:29:54,919 - Remember, he's gonna touch you a lot. 728 00:29:55,002 --> 00:29:57,463 This is normal and not necessarily bad, 729 00:29:57,547 --> 00:30:01,759 but the most important thing is whatever you do, 730 00:30:01,842 --> 00:30:05,429 if you forget everything else I just told you, 731 00:30:05,513 --> 00:30:08,182 the one thing that you got 732 00:30:08,266 --> 00:30:11,435 to remember is do not-- [door opens] 733 00:30:11,519 --> 00:30:13,813 - Suddenly, the fun house door flies open. 734 00:30:13,896 --> 00:30:16,023 There is something in the doorway. 735 00:30:16,107 --> 00:30:18,859 - Howdy, boys. 736 00:30:18,943 --> 00:30:22,029 Some nice night. 737 00:30:22,113 --> 00:30:23,364 [laughs] 738 00:30:23,447 --> 00:30:27,034 - It is a hideous grin with a man attached. 739 00:30:27,118 --> 00:30:31,872 - Hey, who's got two thumbs and loves a full moon, huh? 740 00:30:31,956 --> 00:30:35,334 The guy I got tied up inside, that's who. 741 00:30:35,418 --> 00:30:37,670 - [muffled whimpering] Please, please don't do this. 742 00:30:37,753 --> 00:30:39,630 - You would have no way of knowing that, 743 00:30:39,714 --> 00:30:42,633 but he was just telling me-- oh, wait. 744 00:30:42,717 --> 00:30:45,469 Did I say two thumbs? 745 00:30:45,553 --> 00:30:49,974 Sorry, that's not the latest information. 746 00:30:50,057 --> 00:30:51,309 - Stumbling backwards, 747 00:30:51,392 --> 00:30:53,644 the trembling recruit can only stammer. 748 00:30:53,728 --> 00:30:56,647 - J-J-Jo-Jo-- - Joe-Joe? 749 00:30:56,731 --> 00:31:00,568 Who's Joe-Joe? No Joe-Joe here, friend. 750 00:31:00,651 --> 00:31:03,696 Joe-Joe left his home in Tucson, Arizona. 751 00:31:03,779 --> 00:31:05,406 Everybody knows that. 752 00:31:05,489 --> 00:31:08,117 Say, Charlie, who is this screwball? 753 00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:11,829 Is he trying to sell me insurance? 754 00:31:11,912 --> 00:31:14,040 - Evening, Boss. This is Rocco. 755 00:31:14,123 --> 00:31:15,541 - Yeah, but-- - Huh? 756 00:31:15,625 --> 00:31:18,919 Rocco? Who the Sam Hill is Rocco? 757 00:31:19,003 --> 00:31:21,881 Who the Sam Hill is Sam Hill, huh? 758 00:31:21,964 --> 00:31:24,008 Speak up, Sam. 759 00:31:24,091 --> 00:31:26,802 - Pleased to meet you, Mr. Joker sir, I-- 760 00:31:26,886 --> 00:31:29,305 - Rocco, boss, is the next new recruit. 761 00:31:29,388 --> 00:31:30,931 He's here for the job interview. 762 00:31:31,015 --> 00:31:34,143 - Yeah, but I think I changed my mind. 763 00:31:34,226 --> 00:31:39,231 - Oh, Rocco, right, Rocco. 764 00:31:39,315 --> 00:31:42,860 Rocco, he's botho sock-o, 765 00:31:42,943 --> 00:31:45,446 hickory dickory dock-o. 766 00:31:45,529 --> 00:31:49,825 Well, we're off to a kind of bad start, Rocco, aren't we? 767 00:31:49,909 --> 00:31:52,495 - I don't--uh-- 768 00:31:52,578 --> 00:31:55,206 - Let's start over inside. 769 00:31:55,289 --> 00:31:58,542 Oh, you feel tense. 770 00:31:58,626 --> 00:32:00,127 I'll make you a drink. 771 00:32:00,211 --> 00:32:02,004 - As he is led inside, 772 00:32:02,088 --> 00:32:05,758 the young recruit considers the choices he's made in life. 773 00:32:05,841 --> 00:32:08,511 - Speaking of drinks, you heard this one? 774 00:32:08,594 --> 00:32:10,930 Pirate walks into a bar, Rocco. 775 00:32:11,013 --> 00:32:13,891 He's got a ship's wheel on his belt buckle. 776 00:32:13,974 --> 00:32:15,726 [laughs] 777 00:32:15,810 --> 00:32:17,269 [dramatic music] 778 00:32:17,353 --> 00:32:20,439 - At the abandoned fun house, the cracked mirrors twist 779 00:32:20,523 --> 00:32:22,566 and reverse all they see. 780 00:32:22,650 --> 00:32:24,527 Once, children played here. 781 00:32:24,610 --> 00:32:27,029 It was a place of screams and laughter. 782 00:32:27,113 --> 00:32:29,657 Now a madman plays here. 783 00:32:29,740 --> 00:32:32,535 It is a place of laughter and screams. 784 00:32:32,618 --> 00:32:36,664 Such is "Life and Death in Gotham City." 785 00:32:36,747 --> 00:32:39,125 To be continued. 786 00:32:39,208 --> 00:32:42,253 ♪ ♪ 787 00:32:42,336 --> 00:32:48,426 [radio static] 788 00:32:50,678 --> 00:32:53,305 "Batman: The Audio Adventures." 789 00:32:53,389 --> 00:32:55,975 Written and directed by Dennis McNicholas. 790 00:32:56,058 --> 00:32:58,769 Based on the DC comic "Batman." 791 00:32:58,853 --> 00:33:01,772 Created by Bob Kane with Bill Finger. 792 00:33:01,856 --> 00:33:04,483 Based on characters from DC Comics. 793 00:33:04,567 --> 00:33:07,194 With performances by Jeffrey Wright, 794 00:33:07,278 --> 00:33:12,074 Fred Armisen, Ike Barinholtz, Rosario Dawson, Toby Huss, 795 00:33:12,158 --> 00:33:16,787 Seth Meyers, Bobby Moynihan, Chris Parnell, Paula Pell, 796 00:33:16,871 --> 00:33:21,000 Katie Rich, Ben Rodgers, Paul Scheer, Pete Schultz, 797 00:33:21,083 --> 00:33:23,586 Brent Spiner, Melissa Villaseñor, 798 00:33:23,669 --> 00:33:28,299 Ray Wise, Anna Crowe, Erica Phillips, Rosie Phillips, 799 00:33:28,382 --> 00:33:30,676 Tony Phillips, Roddy Wyckoff. 800 00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:33,471 Executive produced by Jon Berg. 801 00:33:33,554 --> 00:33:36,348 Executive produced by Kiliaen Van Rensselaer, 802 00:33:36,432 --> 00:33:39,477 Deborah Henderson, and Jordana Freydberg. 803 00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:41,479 Produced by Dennis McNicholas. 804 00:33:41,562 --> 00:33:43,814 Produced by Angela Petrella. 805 00:33:43,898 --> 00:33:45,608 Music by Doug Bossi. 806 00:33:45,691 --> 00:33:49,278 Sound recording, design, and mixing by Big Yellow Duck. 807 00:33:49,361 --> 00:33:51,822 Sound design, mixing, dialogue editing, 808 00:33:51,906 --> 00:33:54,492 and rerecording mixing by Chris Gibney. 809 00:33:54,575 --> 00:33:56,786 Production manager Kay Tinder. 810 00:33:56,869 --> 00:33:59,497 Post supervisor Deanna Saracino. 811 00:33:59,580 --> 00:34:01,707 Writers' assistants Trey Woodard 812 00:34:01,791 --> 00:34:03,167 and Scott Weinstein. 813 00:34:03,250 --> 00:34:06,337 Additional sound recording by Icemen Audio. 814 00:34:06,420 --> 00:34:08,380 Production legal Jordan Rock. 815 00:34:08,464 --> 00:34:11,675 Production accounting Reva Jones and Steven D. Smith. 816 00:34:11,759 --> 00:34:15,221 Original songs by Doug Bossi and Tony Phillips. 817 00:34:15,304 --> 00:34:18,557 Special thanks Bill Weinstein and Bryan Besser. 818 00:34:18,641 --> 00:34:22,478 Production services provided by Insurrection Media. 819 00:34:22,561 --> 00:34:24,355 The characters and events depicted 820 00:34:24,438 --> 00:34:26,023 in this podcast are fictional. 821 00:34:26,106 --> 00:34:29,193 Any similarity to any actual person living or dead 822 00:34:29,276 --> 00:34:32,780 or to any actual events, firms, places, and institutions, 823 00:34:32,863 --> 00:34:36,117 or other entities is coincidental and unintentional. 824 00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:38,244 This podcast is protected under the laws 825 00:34:38,327 --> 00:34:40,204 of the United States and other countries, 826 00:34:40,287 --> 00:34:41,956 and its unauthorized duplication, 827 00:34:42,039 --> 00:34:45,334 distribution, or exhibition may result in civil liability 828 00:34:45,417 --> 00:34:47,128 and criminal prosecution. 829 00:34:47,211 --> 00:34:50,381 Country of first publication United States of America. 830 00:34:50,464 --> 00:34:52,716 "Batman: The Audio Adventures." 831 00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:56,303 Copyright 2019 Warner Brothers Entertainment Incorporated. 832 00:34:56,387 --> 00:34:58,722 Batman and all related characters and elements 833 00:34:58,806 --> 00:35:01,392 are trademark and copyright DC Comics. 834 00:35:01,475 --> 00:35:03,519 All rights reserved. 835 00:35:03,602 --> 00:35:07,064 ♪ ♪