1 00:00:06,458 --> 00:00:07,791 [electricity crackling] 2 00:00:10,125 --> 00:00:12,583 [thrilling music playing] 3 00:00:13,250 --> 00:00:15,250 [announcer] Welcome back to Smelt Tank. 4 00:00:19,375 --> 00:00:20,916 Now entering the Smelt Tank, 5 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,541 local entrepreneurs Diane Dunbrowski and Gideon Duchamp, 6 00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:28,416 who are looking to smooth things out with their lotion business, Congeal. 7 00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,958 Gideon, relax, you look like you're gonna faint. 8 00:00:31,041 --> 00:00:32,875 - [whispering] I'm fine, just go. - Um... 9 00:00:32,958 --> 00:00:37,041 Welcome to frickin' gorgeous city, population you three. 10 00:00:37,125 --> 00:00:38,791 [judges laughing] 11 00:00:38,875 --> 00:00:41,791 If you woulda told me that one day I'd be pitching to the Smelts, 12 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,791 I would've told you to stop mixing your Ambien with White Claw. 13 00:00:44,875 --> 00:00:45,750 [laughing] 14 00:00:45,833 --> 00:00:47,208 [anxiously] Move on. 15 00:00:47,291 --> 00:00:49,083 Anywho's the Boss... 16 00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:51,625 Cream team, hit them with the samples. 17 00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:54,666 Now, I ain't great at all the business talk, 18 00:00:54,750 --> 00:00:56,000 so I'm gonna pass it over 19 00:00:56,083 --> 00:00:58,791 - to my little ticklish friend, Gideon. - [giggling] 20 00:00:58,875 --> 00:01:00,250 Okay. All right. 21 00:01:01,083 --> 00:01:04,291 Smelts, we have a state-of-the-art production facility, 22 00:01:04,375 --> 00:01:06,958 a direct supply line to our main ingredients, 23 00:01:07,041 --> 00:01:09,791 and a product that people are raving about. 24 00:01:09,875 --> 00:01:12,875 We are perfectly teed up to take this to the next level. 25 00:01:12,958 --> 00:01:17,208 What we need is access to major buyers who can help us get there. 26 00:01:17,291 --> 00:01:18,583 So, whaddya say? 27 00:01:18,666 --> 00:01:22,041 We dealt it. Do you wanna smelt it? 28 00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:23,791 [judges laughing] 29 00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:25,333 I think this stuff feels great, 30 00:01:25,416 --> 00:01:27,583 but I don't know the cosmetics field. 31 00:01:27,666 --> 00:01:31,791 My business is pizza, some salads, obviously pop. 32 00:01:31,875 --> 00:01:33,125 Anyway, I'm out. 33 00:01:33,208 --> 00:01:34,541 [tense music playing] 34 00:01:34,625 --> 00:01:36,125 Yeah, I'll piggyback on that. 35 00:01:36,208 --> 00:01:38,583 My business is mostly sub-oriented. 36 00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:41,142 - Do they only pick food ideas? - [Mr. Submarine] Subs, chips... 37 00:01:41,166 --> 00:01:42,166 It is Chicago. 38 00:01:42,708 --> 00:01:44,416 So unfortunately, I'm out. 39 00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:45,625 Mm... 40 00:01:45,708 --> 00:01:46,958 [tense music playing] 41 00:01:47,041 --> 00:01:48,750 And then there was one. 42 00:01:48,833 --> 00:01:50,500 Look, I'm a pasta girl. 43 00:01:50,583 --> 00:01:53,916 - I have a whole line of sauces, noodles. - Come on, Rancic, you too? 44 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:57,875 But I also have a cosmetics line, so I know my lotion. 45 00:01:57,958 --> 00:02:00,416 And you two are quite the combination. 46 00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:04,916 This firecracker sets 'em up and this handsome hunk knocks 'em down. 47 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,333 Next week is Cosmecon, 48 00:02:06,416 --> 00:02:08,625 the biggest cosmetics convention in the Midwest. 49 00:02:08,708 --> 00:02:10,000 Where's she going with this? 50 00:02:10,083 --> 00:02:13,166 And I could guarantee you a booth at the convention 51 00:02:13,250 --> 00:02:15,333 and a slot on the big stage 52 00:02:15,416 --> 00:02:19,000 to showcase your product in front of thousands of people. 53 00:02:19,083 --> 00:02:21,625 - [Giuliana] Congeal... - Ah shit, she's out. 54 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:23,041 ...you have a deal! 55 00:02:23,125 --> 00:02:24,500 [cheering] 56 00:02:24,583 --> 00:02:26,375 - Yeah, we did it! - We did it! 57 00:02:26,458 --> 00:02:27,375 Aah! 58 00:02:27,458 --> 00:02:28,458 Oh my God! 59 00:02:28,541 --> 00:02:31,541 - I'll give him mouth-to-mouth. - No! I'm fine! I'm fine! 60 00:02:31,625 --> 00:02:34,208 [theme music playing] 61 00:02:43,875 --> 00:02:46,458 Stop churning, Mikey, it's not butter. Go clockwise. 62 00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,333 - Aah... - Make a circle. 63 00:02:48,416 --> 00:02:50,125 Oh! Ten-four! 64 00:02:51,791 --> 00:02:53,333 How's our bottle count, ladies? 65 00:02:53,416 --> 00:02:56,625 Like my breasts before children. Very high. 66 00:02:56,708 --> 00:02:57,708 Fantastic! 67 00:02:57,791 --> 00:02:59,083 Hold up... You have kids? 68 00:02:59,166 --> 00:03:02,166 And no one's getting that recipe without going through me! 69 00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:04,458 Again, we don't need you to guard it. 70 00:03:04,541 --> 00:03:05,781 [Gabriella] Who wants rib tips? 71 00:03:05,833 --> 00:03:07,916 - [Mikey] Oh, oh, oh! - I do! Smells good! 72 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:08,875 Mwah. 73 00:03:08,958 --> 00:03:11,333 New mock-up for the logo looks great, Daniel. 74 00:03:11,416 --> 00:03:15,625 Thanks! Diane gave it "two farts up," but I didn't know if that was good or bad. 75 00:03:15,708 --> 00:03:18,083 Speaking of, where is she? 76 00:03:18,166 --> 00:03:19,846 We have an important announcement to make. 77 00:03:19,875 --> 00:03:21,250 - [tires screeching] - [loud crash] 78 00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:22,541 [groans] 79 00:03:22,625 --> 00:03:23,875 [Daniel gasps] 80 00:03:23,958 --> 00:03:27,916 Sorry, gang! Barack's in town and traffic's a nightmare. 81 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,333 Thanks, Obama. 82 00:03:29,416 --> 00:03:30,416 [groans] 83 00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:32,083 Anyhoo, did I miss it? 84 00:03:32,166 --> 00:03:34,125 Did you tell Daniel we made him a partner? 85 00:03:34,208 --> 00:03:35,208 What?! 86 00:03:35,291 --> 00:03:38,666 I was waiting to do it together, like we planned. 87 00:03:38,750 --> 00:03:43,125 Daniel, we have decided to officially name you Artistic Director 88 00:03:43,208 --> 00:03:46,291 and give you 10% of the company. 89 00:03:46,375 --> 00:03:48,041 Oh my God! Uh! 90 00:03:48,125 --> 00:03:50,791 What should I say? I'm not great off the cuff. 91 00:03:50,875 --> 00:03:53,958 You don't have to say anything, it's just an announcement. 92 00:03:54,041 --> 00:03:55,416 Right. Sorry, boss. 93 00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:56,541 I'm not your boss. 94 00:03:56,625 --> 00:03:58,541 And again, stop saluting people. 95 00:03:58,625 --> 00:04:00,541 - [Diane] Mm? - Diane, can we talk? 96 00:04:00,625 --> 00:04:01,875 Absotootly! 97 00:04:01,958 --> 00:04:04,583 Gimme two secs, though. I'm smelling rib tips. 98 00:04:04,666 --> 00:04:09,875 Diane, Cosmecon is this weekend and I need you showing up on time! 99 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,392 - [phone chimes] - Copy that, partner. 100 00:04:11,416 --> 00:04:13,125 Oh my God, Diane! Check your email! 101 00:04:13,208 --> 00:04:16,083 - Why? You check it for the both of us. - [sighs] 102 00:04:16,166 --> 00:04:19,125 Girl, Borough just sent us an offer to buy us out! 103 00:04:19,208 --> 00:04:21,416 Holy shit! Gideon, we're rich! 104 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:24,083 I can get new tits, new teeth, new ass. 105 00:04:24,166 --> 00:04:25,166 Mm. What else? 106 00:04:25,250 --> 00:04:27,583 We are not taking this deal. 107 00:04:27,666 --> 00:04:29,333 Say that again in my good ear. 108 00:04:29,416 --> 00:04:30,625 Oh! New ears! 109 00:04:30,708 --> 00:04:32,875 This offer is small potatoes. 110 00:04:32,958 --> 00:04:35,458 With the exposure we're about to get at Cosmecon, 111 00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:39,125 we have a chance at landing a deal ten times this amount. 112 00:04:39,208 --> 00:04:41,208 It's time to think big, girl! 113 00:04:41,291 --> 00:04:43,041 I always do. 114 00:04:43,125 --> 00:04:44,541 Please, don't say it. 115 00:04:44,625 --> 00:04:46,625 I'm talkin' 'bout cock, my friend. 116 00:04:46,708 --> 00:04:47,708 [laughing] 117 00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:49,750 Diane, girl, you is nasty. 118 00:04:49,833 --> 00:04:51,958 And your shirt is covered in rib sauce. 119 00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:55,208 Joke's on you. That's marinara from last week. 120 00:04:55,291 --> 00:04:56,583 Mm! 121 00:04:56,666 --> 00:05:00,791 Honey, have I told you lately how much I love my new job? 122 00:05:00,875 --> 00:05:02,083 Oh, hey, hon. 123 00:05:02,166 --> 00:05:03,208 What's with the lights? 124 00:05:03,291 --> 00:05:05,333 And is the air off? It is boiling in here. 125 00:05:05,416 --> 00:05:06,416 I didn't notice. 126 00:05:06,458 --> 00:05:09,083 You're drenched in sweat. What is going on? 127 00:05:09,166 --> 00:05:11,541 Honestly, Bon, our new incomes aren't cutting it. 128 00:05:11,625 --> 00:05:14,000 After the cost of gas, cleaning, and fender benders, 129 00:05:14,083 --> 00:05:15,250 I'm barely breaking even. 130 00:05:15,333 --> 00:05:16,333 Eh... Oh! 131 00:05:16,375 --> 00:05:18,083 We could have a yard sale. 132 00:05:18,166 --> 00:05:19,333 "A yard sale"? 133 00:05:19,416 --> 00:05:22,875 Our lawn is Kentucky bluegrass, it can't handle all that foot traffic. 134 00:05:22,958 --> 00:05:24,583 We need real money. 135 00:05:24,666 --> 00:05:26,750 We need to seriously talk about offloading... 136 00:05:26,833 --> 00:05:28,500 Don't say offloading assets. 137 00:05:28,583 --> 00:05:29,666 That's a last resort. 138 00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:31,041 Let's double down. 139 00:05:31,125 --> 00:05:34,250 I'll take every event the London Brothers have. 140 00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:38,208 I'm already driving eight hours a day, but I guess I could go to 12. 141 00:05:38,291 --> 00:05:39,125 [Bonnie] Mm. 142 00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:40,291 Or 16. 143 00:05:40,375 --> 00:05:43,291 That's the spirit! We can do this, Mark! 144 00:05:44,583 --> 00:05:46,291 [exhales] 145 00:05:47,291 --> 00:05:48,708 Enjoy your Bamboo Blaster. 146 00:05:48,791 --> 00:05:50,666 I threw in some extra crickets. 147 00:05:51,791 --> 00:05:53,583 Danny-bananny. Ha-ha! 148 00:05:53,666 --> 00:05:55,708 So, I'm having a party. 149 00:05:55,791 --> 00:05:58,208 It's nothing big, just some good friends. 150 00:05:58,291 --> 00:06:01,083 Feather, wow! That's really nice of you. 151 00:06:01,166 --> 00:06:04,458 See, we don't just work together, we're friends. 152 00:06:04,541 --> 00:06:05,666 Oh. No. Um... 153 00:06:05,750 --> 00:06:08,833 I meant, I need you to close up the store for me Friday night. 154 00:06:08,916 --> 00:06:13,333 Friday? Oh. I actually can't. I have Cosmecon. 155 00:06:13,416 --> 00:06:18,541 I'm sorry, Taurus must be rising because I'm not communicating well today. 156 00:06:18,625 --> 00:06:20,208 I wasn't asking. 157 00:06:20,291 --> 00:06:22,916 Hate to play the boss card, but I need you. 158 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,916 Oh my God. I just realized, I have a boss card now. 159 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,208 No, uh... 160 00:06:28,291 --> 00:06:30,541 I was miming playing my boss card. 161 00:06:30,625 --> 00:06:32,541 You can't then use it back on me. 162 00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:35,666 Feather, I mean this in the nicest way possible. 163 00:06:35,750 --> 00:06:37,000 I quit. [chuckles] 164 00:06:37,083 --> 00:06:38,250 I mean, goodbye. 165 00:06:38,333 --> 00:06:39,333 Mm. 166 00:06:41,583 --> 00:06:43,041 [humming] 167 00:06:43,125 --> 00:06:44,708 Good, you're home early! 168 00:06:44,791 --> 00:06:48,291 Now that we finally struck it rich, I'm finally putting in the hot tub! 169 00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:49,541 That's a bad idea. 170 00:06:49,625 --> 00:06:52,458 Also, I'm home early because I quit my job! 171 00:06:52,541 --> 00:06:53,750 Fuck yeah! 172 00:06:53,833 --> 00:06:56,666 Right? It's time to spread my wings! 173 00:06:56,750 --> 00:07:01,166 I mean, how pathetic is it that my life has been just work and this apartment? 174 00:07:01,250 --> 00:07:04,666 Yeah! Now your life's gonna be only this apartment. 175 00:07:04,750 --> 00:07:05,875 Oh, that's not what I meant. 176 00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:09,625 My friend, we're about to go from Hagar Van Halen, which rocks, 177 00:07:09,708 --> 00:07:12,833 to David Lee Roth Van Halen, which double rocks! 178 00:07:12,916 --> 00:07:14,958 Yes, that's a lot of rocking. 179 00:07:15,041 --> 00:07:18,000 Now, spread those wings and grab that miter saw. 180 00:07:18,083 --> 00:07:20,708 This tub's going in-ground. 181 00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:23,500 [tires screeching] 182 00:07:23,583 --> 00:07:25,166 Oh, you've gotta be kidding me! 183 00:07:25,875 --> 00:07:28,791 Excuse me, how much did you pay for those laserdiscs? 184 00:07:28,875 --> 00:07:29,875 Eight bucks. 185 00:07:29,958 --> 00:07:31,958 For Junior and Twins? 186 00:07:32,041 --> 00:07:34,333 Congratulations! Deal of the century! 187 00:07:34,416 --> 00:07:36,500 You have them on DVD and Blu-ray. 188 00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:38,166 I thought we said no yard sale. 189 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,583 We were gonna double down on our jobs, remember? 190 00:07:40,666 --> 00:07:42,125 I just pulled an 18-hour shift! 191 00:07:42,208 --> 00:07:43,875 I got three flat tires! 192 00:07:43,958 --> 00:07:45,208 I am doubling down! 193 00:07:45,291 --> 00:07:49,250 I have a gig at the Cosmecon tomorrow. I'm trying to make this work. 194 00:07:49,333 --> 00:07:50,458 Hey, how much for this? 195 00:07:50,541 --> 00:07:53,833 We are not gonna be able to pay our mortgage selling our Slap Chop! 196 00:07:53,916 --> 00:07:55,796 - Hmm. - We need to put the condo on the market. 197 00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:58,250 Fine. I will see Diane tomorrow at Cosmecon 198 00:07:58,333 --> 00:08:01,958 and I will tell her in person that we're broke and we have to evict her. 199 00:08:02,041 --> 00:08:04,625 - Okay, Mark? - Sorry, how much for this? 200 00:08:04,708 --> 00:08:06,125 Oh my God, just take it! 201 00:08:06,208 --> 00:08:08,250 Yard sale is over! 202 00:08:08,750 --> 00:08:10,125 [air hissing] 203 00:08:10,208 --> 00:08:11,625 Great! Four for four! 204 00:08:12,875 --> 00:08:14,375 Without further ado, 205 00:08:14,458 --> 00:08:17,375 I'll hand the floor over to my amazing partner, 206 00:08:17,458 --> 00:08:19,916 Gideon Duchamp-champ-champ... 207 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,416 [giggles] Good rehearsal, Diane. 208 00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:25,166 And obviously, on the day, you won't be doing the Pac-Man thing. 209 00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:27,500 Ms. Pac-Man. Sexist. 210 00:08:27,583 --> 00:08:30,750 Tomorrow, we bring our A-game. Get a good night of rest. 211 00:08:30,833 --> 00:08:32,166 Gonna sleep like a baby. 212 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:34,833 I got earplugs for Fucks Loud Sophie. 213 00:08:34,916 --> 00:08:36,625 Well, if this weekend goes well, 214 00:08:36,708 --> 00:08:39,250 you won't have to deal with this sad shack anymore. 215 00:08:39,333 --> 00:08:42,291 Ha! Yeah, right! I'm never leaving this place. 216 00:08:42,375 --> 00:08:44,375 I've already broken ground on the hot tub. 217 00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:47,000 Your life is about to change, bish. 218 00:08:47,083 --> 00:08:50,708 Get ready for a whole new Diane! 'Night. 219 00:08:51,791 --> 00:08:53,750 What's wrong with the old Diane? 220 00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:56,708 - [Fucks Loud Sophie moaning loudly] - Hmm. 221 00:08:59,333 --> 00:09:02,291 [Diane] I didn't know there was this many types of cosmetics. 222 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,416 All I use is a chunk of Dial soap and a bar rag. 223 00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:08,083 Don't get distracted by all those no-names. 224 00:09:08,166 --> 00:09:11,875 Focus on the heavies. There's L'Oréal, Costco, CVS... 225 00:09:11,958 --> 00:09:15,625 - An open bar! - Diane, no! Professional, remember? 226 00:09:15,708 --> 00:09:18,791 Yeah, yeah. No booze, no cooze, no weed, no speed. 227 00:09:18,875 --> 00:09:21,250 - No coke, no crack, no smack, no jack... - We get it. 228 00:09:21,333 --> 00:09:24,125 Here are your passes and your hotel room keys. 229 00:09:24,208 --> 00:09:26,708 Comped rooms? Hell yeah! 230 00:09:26,791 --> 00:09:28,541 Bidet all day, baby! 231 00:09:28,625 --> 00:09:32,625 And Daniel, they've asked you to speak on the Artistic Directors' panel 232 00:09:32,708 --> 00:09:33,708 in half an hour. 233 00:09:33,791 --> 00:09:34,958 I'm on the panel? 234 00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:38,083 Like, I have to talk... in front of people? 235 00:09:38,166 --> 00:09:40,041 Hell yeah, Danny Boy! 236 00:09:40,125 --> 00:09:41,458 Okay, I can do this. 237 00:09:41,541 --> 00:09:46,125 Just gonna google if there's a TED talk about how to give a talk, I guess. 238 00:09:46,625 --> 00:09:48,666 Be cool. Costco, one o'clock. 239 00:09:48,750 --> 00:09:52,125 We're going to Costco at 1:00? I gotta borrow Zuzana's card. 240 00:09:52,208 --> 00:09:53,708 You must be Diane and Gideon. 241 00:09:53,791 --> 00:09:56,708 A lot of buzz about Congeal amongst the big-box stores. 242 00:09:56,791 --> 00:09:57,625 [laughs] 243 00:09:57,708 --> 00:10:00,458 - "Big box..." - Uh, thank you for stopping by. 244 00:10:00,541 --> 00:10:02,875 I hope you can make the presentation tomorrow. 245 00:10:02,958 --> 00:10:05,625 Absolutely. Then, I have to take off right away. 246 00:10:05,708 --> 00:10:08,250 - You know the life of an executive. - Sure do! 247 00:10:08,333 --> 00:10:10,500 Mo money, mo hot tub problems. [laughs] 248 00:10:10,583 --> 00:10:12,666 No, I just meant all the travel. 249 00:10:12,750 --> 00:10:15,416 Anyway, I am looking forward to mañana. 250 00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:17,458 We can't be doing all that traveling. 251 00:10:17,541 --> 00:10:20,375 Zuzana said she won't cover any more of my shifts. 252 00:10:20,458 --> 00:10:22,208 Sugar, when we make this sale, 253 00:10:22,291 --> 00:10:24,791 you are not gonna be working at Borough anymore. 254 00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:27,375 We're gonna be worldwide, baby! 255 00:10:27,458 --> 00:10:28,833 - [laughs] - Mm. 256 00:10:28,916 --> 00:10:30,250 Mm? 257 00:10:30,333 --> 00:10:31,250 Mm. 258 00:10:31,333 --> 00:10:32,916 You're not the boss of me. 259 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,833 Mm. Mm. 260 00:10:34,916 --> 00:10:36,541 Hi, I'm Bonnie. I'm here for the... 261 00:10:36,625 --> 00:10:37,833 Great, the model is here. 262 00:10:37,916 --> 00:10:39,791 Model? Wow. 263 00:10:39,875 --> 00:10:43,750 Well, I was crowned Miss Teen I-55 in high school, so... 264 00:10:44,833 --> 00:10:45,833 Uh... 265 00:10:45,916 --> 00:10:48,208 Is someone going to do my makeup? 266 00:10:48,291 --> 00:10:50,416 "Before" models do their own faces. 267 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:51,583 [sighs] 268 00:10:51,666 --> 00:10:54,375 - No! That's for "after" models only. - Ow! 269 00:10:54,458 --> 00:10:55,791 [audience laughing] 270 00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:59,500 Because we think the real product is people. 271 00:10:59,583 --> 00:11:00,833 Does that make sense? 272 00:11:00,916 --> 00:11:03,166 So well said, Caden. 273 00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:06,041 Now, let's turn to a new brand, Congeal, 274 00:11:06,125 --> 00:11:09,208 and their own 18-year-old Daniel Whiddington. 275 00:11:09,291 --> 00:11:10,333 Present! 276 00:11:10,416 --> 00:11:11,416 [moderator] Yikes! 277 00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:16,333 So, Daniel, you bypassed college and got into cosmetics with your aunt 278 00:11:16,416 --> 00:11:19,625 who called this a, quote, "rags to bitches" story. 279 00:11:19,708 --> 00:11:24,041 So, how does that laissez faire approach affect your back-end numbers? 280 00:11:24,125 --> 00:11:26,125 Ha-ha. "Back end." 281 00:11:26,208 --> 00:11:28,833 - Sorry. Um... [clears throat] I mean... - [mic feedback] 282 00:11:28,916 --> 00:11:30,333 Sorry! I'm sorry. 283 00:11:30,416 --> 00:11:31,416 Where was I? 284 00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:32,416 Um... 285 00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:33,750 So, sales... 286 00:11:33,833 --> 00:11:34,708 Ah! 287 00:11:34,791 --> 00:11:36,208 What are sales? 288 00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:38,625 I think that's great. 289 00:11:38,708 --> 00:11:40,083 What are sales? 290 00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:41,291 They're nothing. 291 00:11:41,375 --> 00:11:43,916 What are people? Everything! 292 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,916 - [crowd applause] - Does that make sense? 293 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,041 And our churn rate went bananas, 294 00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:50,666 once I implemented evergreen marketing at Target. 295 00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:53,625 Yeah, I like to go into Target and wear a red polo shirt 296 00:11:53,708 --> 00:11:56,708 so it looks like I work there, and then fuck with everyone. 297 00:11:56,791 --> 00:11:57,625 Ugh! 298 00:11:57,708 --> 00:12:00,625 [Bonnie] Can I get a glass of chardonnay with a pinot grigio topper? 299 00:12:01,125 --> 00:12:03,208 - Bonnie? What are you doing here? - Uh! 300 00:12:03,291 --> 00:12:06,041 Oh! Are you planning one of your big, fancy events? 301 00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:09,750 Eh... Yes. I am helping coordinate all the... 302 00:12:09,833 --> 00:12:11,500 Hey, those thin lips are on in two. 303 00:12:11,583 --> 00:12:12,458 In a minute. 304 00:12:12,541 --> 00:12:14,458 Whoa, you have a whole staff? 305 00:12:14,541 --> 00:12:16,375 You're really killin' it, Bon. 306 00:12:16,458 --> 00:12:18,875 Look at us, couple of Chicago slobs, 307 00:12:18,958 --> 00:12:22,625 lathering ourselves up with all these frou-frou beauty types. 308 00:12:22,708 --> 00:12:26,583 Congeal, the Dallas market is super excited about you! 309 00:12:26,666 --> 00:12:27,791 Yeah, we'll see. 310 00:12:27,875 --> 00:12:30,625 Wow. It's really happening for you, isn't it? 311 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:31,916 Big changes. 312 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,166 Yeah, well, not really changes, 313 00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:36,750 more like improvements that keep everything the same. 314 00:12:36,833 --> 00:12:38,583 I'm not going anywhere, Bon. 315 00:12:38,666 --> 00:12:39,666 Right. 316 00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:40,625 Uh... 317 00:12:40,708 --> 00:12:42,148 Diane, I need to tell you something. 318 00:12:42,208 --> 00:12:43,291 Hello, Bonnie. 319 00:12:43,375 --> 00:12:47,458 Diane, Windy City Alive wants an interview with the both of us, now. 320 00:12:47,541 --> 00:12:49,375 So, pop an Altoid. Okay? Come on. 321 00:12:49,458 --> 00:12:52,375 - [exhales, sniffs] - Sorry, Bon. We'll catch up later. 322 00:12:53,750 --> 00:12:56,125 But I'm proud of you! Proud of us! 323 00:12:56,833 --> 00:12:57,666 Hmm. 324 00:12:57,750 --> 00:12:59,500 Can I get a rosé on the side? 325 00:13:00,833 --> 00:13:04,416 We are here with Congeal, the stars of this year's Cosmecon. 326 00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,958 Always great to see a Chi-Town-born company! 327 00:13:07,041 --> 00:13:08,708 Well, Chicago may be where we began, 328 00:13:08,791 --> 00:13:10,750 but it is not where we're gonna end. 329 00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:13,208 We're goin' global, baby. [chuckles] 330 00:13:13,291 --> 00:13:15,375 But we also want to stay local. 331 00:13:15,458 --> 00:13:17,583 Maybe in a couple years expand to the 'burbs. 332 00:13:17,666 --> 00:13:20,750 Well, we're thinking a bit bigger than just the 'burbs. 333 00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:23,125 Sure. Maybe we hit lower Wisconsin. 334 00:13:23,208 --> 00:13:25,625 What she's trying to say is 335 00:13:25,708 --> 00:13:29,208 that Congeal transcends geography. 336 00:13:29,291 --> 00:13:31,500 Well, we need to "Beat It," 337 00:13:31,583 --> 00:13:36,250 but I will say, I tried a sample and I was one "Smooth Criminal." 338 00:13:36,833 --> 00:13:37,666 And cut. 339 00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:40,750 Lose the Michael Jackson thing. I have to stop doing that. 340 00:13:40,833 --> 00:13:43,250 What was that? We have to be on the same page. 341 00:13:43,333 --> 00:13:45,125 "Set 'em up, knock 'em down." Remember? 342 00:13:45,208 --> 00:13:47,750 May I remind you, you're not my boss anymore? 343 00:13:47,833 --> 00:13:49,333 This is a partnership. 344 00:13:49,416 --> 00:13:51,958 Yeah, well, one of us hasn't been doing their part. 345 00:13:52,041 --> 00:13:54,166 I mean, you don't even check your emails. 346 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,291 I don't know how! 347 00:13:55,375 --> 00:13:58,250 And by the way, you're obsessed with emails. 348 00:13:58,958 --> 00:14:02,500 Okay, look, just remember to behave at the mixer tonight. Please? 349 00:14:02,583 --> 00:14:05,625 Relax, my whole life's a mixer. 350 00:14:05,708 --> 00:14:08,250 - Yeah, that's what I'm worried about. - Mm. 351 00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:11,958 Is this product supposed to make my lips numb? 352 00:14:12,041 --> 00:14:13,125 [phone ringing] 353 00:14:13,208 --> 00:14:15,166 - Hello? - Did you talk to your sister? 354 00:14:15,250 --> 00:14:17,458 Not yet, I haven't had the chance. 355 00:14:17,541 --> 00:14:19,517 - Can you speed up? She's crowning! - [cat growling] 356 00:14:19,541 --> 00:14:22,416 Well, you'd better do it soon because I can't do this much longer! 357 00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:24,583 I'll tell her tomorrow, okay? 358 00:14:24,666 --> 00:14:27,458 Okay, stop with the sexy voice! Just take care of it! 359 00:14:27,541 --> 00:14:31,208 Oh, it's happening! I can tell this is gonna be a violent birth! 360 00:14:31,291 --> 00:14:33,583 - Oh, good Jesus! - [cat growling] 361 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,875 Two Old Styles, please. 362 00:14:36,958 --> 00:14:38,333 We only have Stella Artois. 363 00:14:38,416 --> 00:14:41,708 Eh, bonjour, I don't speak French. 364 00:14:41,791 --> 00:14:43,250 - Ugh. - I'll take two. 365 00:14:43,333 --> 00:14:44,666 Are you okay? 366 00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:48,166 Oh, I'm fine. Gideon's the one who's all stressed out. 367 00:14:49,416 --> 00:14:52,458 Okay, maybe go one for one with water? 368 00:14:52,541 --> 00:14:54,375 Daniel, right? It's Caden. 369 00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:57,708 Yes! Oh my God. Thank you so much for bailing me out up there. 370 00:14:57,791 --> 00:14:59,458 [chuckling] No worries, man. 371 00:14:59,541 --> 00:15:02,666 Hey, we're hanging out over by the Evian facial mist tent. 372 00:15:02,750 --> 00:15:03,833 Do you wanna join us? 373 00:15:03,916 --> 00:15:08,041 Definitely! Would it be okay if I go over there and network for a bit? 374 00:15:08,125 --> 00:15:10,250 Yeah, go and have some fun, honey. 375 00:15:12,375 --> 00:15:14,208 - Diane? - [coughs] 376 00:15:14,291 --> 00:15:17,208 Hey! This beer has alcohol in it! 377 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:20,208 Ooh. Who's this hottie boom body? 378 00:15:20,291 --> 00:15:23,500 This is Duane Reade, the CEO of Walgreens. 379 00:15:23,583 --> 00:15:26,083 Oh! You guys got the best sushi! 380 00:15:26,166 --> 00:15:31,625 We were just discussing Walgreens' foray into more artisanal cosmetics. 381 00:15:31,708 --> 00:15:34,726 - We love products that have a story. - ["Flashdance... What a Feeling" plays] 382 00:15:34,750 --> 00:15:36,875 - The distribution curve for a small... - Oh, no way! 383 00:15:36,958 --> 00:15:39,000 The song from Dirty Dancing! 384 00:15:39,083 --> 00:15:40,083 Dirty Dancing? 385 00:15:40,166 --> 00:15:42,541 - Come on, Duane, let's go! - I... 386 00:15:42,625 --> 00:15:45,125 I don't think they want anyone to dance, Diane! 387 00:15:45,208 --> 00:15:47,208 [girl] So, is this your first convention? 388 00:15:47,291 --> 00:15:51,166 [chuckles] Was it that obvious? I felt so out of place up there. 389 00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:52,416 Hey, you did great! 390 00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:55,041 Besides, you don't want to be like those people. 391 00:15:55,125 --> 00:15:58,083 I mean, 18 and already an entrepreneur? 392 00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,083 Mwah! Chef's kiss. 393 00:16:00,166 --> 00:16:03,458 But sometimes I kinda feel like I missed out by not going to college. 394 00:16:03,541 --> 00:16:06,000 Oh, ew. You missed nothing. 395 00:16:06,083 --> 00:16:08,250 It was all, like, parties and drinking. 396 00:16:08,333 --> 00:16:10,125 Only thing I remember from college 397 00:16:10,208 --> 00:16:12,583 is coming home at 3:00 a.m. and making out with her. 398 00:16:12,666 --> 00:16:14,125 And with him. [chuckles] 399 00:16:14,208 --> 00:16:16,583 We all made out so much. 400 00:16:16,666 --> 00:16:19,666 Ha, ha. Yeah, that sounds... lame. 401 00:16:19,750 --> 00:16:21,166 - [hissing] - [whimpers] 402 00:16:21,250 --> 00:16:24,041 Uh, I don't remember this part from the movie. 403 00:16:24,125 --> 00:16:25,833 What about this part? 404 00:16:25,916 --> 00:16:27,916 [Gideon] Not the lift. It's so dangerous! 405 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,500 And it's from an entirely different movie! 406 00:16:30,583 --> 00:16:32,291 - [Duane] No! - ♪ What a feeling ♪ 407 00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:33,250 - [yells] - No, no, no! 408 00:16:33,333 --> 00:16:34,166 [thud] 409 00:16:34,250 --> 00:16:35,791 Oh, that was awful. 410 00:16:36,291 --> 00:16:38,416 - [groans] - [clamoring] 411 00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:41,083 Nobody puts Baby on the corner! 412 00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:42,166 Ow... 413 00:16:42,208 --> 00:16:45,541 That image of your vagina will haunt me to my grave! 414 00:16:45,625 --> 00:16:47,750 Relax, you sound like my dentist. 415 00:16:47,833 --> 00:16:49,916 Diane, that was a disaster! 416 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,958 You're lucky we still have the Borough deal 417 00:16:52,041 --> 00:16:56,541 because at this rate, we're not gonna have any options after the presentation! 418 00:16:56,625 --> 00:16:58,125 Oh, I passed on that. 419 00:16:58,208 --> 00:16:59,250 What?! 420 00:16:59,333 --> 00:17:03,875 You said to be a partner, so I checked my email and did my part! 421 00:17:03,958 --> 00:17:07,000 You wet-brained fool! 422 00:17:07,083 --> 00:17:09,125 You said it was small potatoes! 423 00:17:09,208 --> 00:17:11,791 Yes, but they were the only potatoes we had! 424 00:17:11,875 --> 00:17:14,458 Now, we have no potatoes! 425 00:17:14,541 --> 00:17:17,333 Okay, all this potato talk has got me hungry. 426 00:17:17,416 --> 00:17:19,041 I'm gonna order some tots. 427 00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:24,250 You know, I would be fine if the only life you ruined was your own, 428 00:17:24,333 --> 00:17:26,000 but that's never the case, is it? 429 00:17:26,083 --> 00:17:29,833 You have to bring down everyone around you. 430 00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:33,416 Everybody. It's a sickness! You're sick! 431 00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,500 Hey! I don't need this bullshit! 432 00:17:35,583 --> 00:17:38,375 I was perfectly happy until you took my product 433 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:40,416 and tried to make it something it's not. 434 00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:42,541 I'm not gonna let you do the same to me! 435 00:17:42,625 --> 00:17:44,291 You best be headed to your room 436 00:17:44,375 --> 00:17:47,041 because that presentation tomorrow is our last hope! 437 00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:50,750 And put on some goddamn underwear! 438 00:17:50,833 --> 00:17:53,333 Now, you sound like my eye doctor! 439 00:17:53,416 --> 00:17:54,791 [wind howling] 440 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,000 [sighs] 441 00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:00,041 [blows] 442 00:18:00,125 --> 00:18:03,583 [gentle music playing] 443 00:18:37,625 --> 00:18:40,208 Daniel! Where the hell is Diane?! 444 00:18:40,291 --> 00:18:42,541 I don't know. I thought the plan was to meet here. 445 00:18:42,625 --> 00:18:44,541 No, I know the plan, I made the plan! 446 00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:46,750 Call her, she's not picking up for me. 447 00:18:46,833 --> 00:18:47,875 On it. 448 00:18:48,750 --> 00:18:50,500 [phone vibrates] 449 00:18:53,875 --> 00:18:54,958 You okay, lady? 450 00:18:55,041 --> 00:18:56,791 Ugh... 451 00:18:56,875 --> 00:18:58,583 Is this Heaven? 452 00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:00,958 Nope. It's Chicago. 453 00:19:01,041 --> 00:19:03,541 Holy cow! Barack Obama! 454 00:19:03,625 --> 00:19:05,416 Oh my God, I frickin' love you! 455 00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:07,750 I voted for you, like, six times! 456 00:19:07,833 --> 00:19:09,291 You're looking a little beat up. 457 00:19:09,375 --> 00:19:11,500 At first, I thought you were a wet fur coat. 458 00:19:11,583 --> 00:19:14,250 Yeah, I had a rough night. 459 00:19:14,333 --> 00:19:16,041 I can see. You want to talk about it? 460 00:19:17,541 --> 00:19:19,291 [whimpering] 461 00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:20,666 Okay. She's not in her room. 462 00:19:20,750 --> 00:19:23,083 She's not at the omelette bar, she's not at the waffle bar. 463 00:19:23,166 --> 00:19:24,375 She's not at the bar bar! 464 00:19:24,458 --> 00:19:27,833 Oh, sweet Lord Jesus, this cannot be happening! 465 00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:31,083 I need her! She's the Penn to my Teller! 466 00:19:31,166 --> 00:19:32,833 Or maybe she's Teller, I don't know. 467 00:19:32,916 --> 00:19:34,708 Which one doesn't shut the fuck up? 468 00:19:34,791 --> 00:19:37,351 [Giuliana] We're gonna take a short break, but up next is Congeal! 469 00:19:37,375 --> 00:19:38,500 I'll check the bathroom! 470 00:19:38,583 --> 00:19:40,541 Women's and men's! 471 00:19:41,333 --> 00:19:42,166 Mm. 472 00:19:42,250 --> 00:19:44,750 Okay, Bonnie, prep any poses that accentuate your cellulite. 473 00:19:44,833 --> 00:19:45,708 Uh... 474 00:19:45,791 --> 00:19:47,416 Yeah, that's perfect. 475 00:19:50,250 --> 00:19:51,750 [phone ringing] 476 00:19:51,833 --> 00:19:52,666 Hello! 477 00:19:52,750 --> 00:19:54,958 Mark, I can't do this anymore. 478 00:19:55,041 --> 00:19:55,875 Me neither! 479 00:19:55,958 --> 00:19:59,583 Because my car was just stolen by a group of teenagers 480 00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:01,000 in Muncie, Indiana! 481 00:20:01,083 --> 00:20:02,333 [Bonnie] What? Are you okay? 482 00:20:02,416 --> 00:20:03,958 No, I am not! 483 00:20:04,041 --> 00:20:04,875 [sighs] 484 00:20:04,958 --> 00:20:07,125 It's over. Put the condo on the market. 485 00:20:07,208 --> 00:20:08,708 Already did! I love you! 486 00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:09,708 [sighs] 487 00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:11,458 Hey, cellulite, we're ready for you. 488 00:20:11,541 --> 00:20:13,416 Oh, fuck off. I quit! 489 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,166 [solemn music playing] 490 00:20:16,250 --> 00:20:19,416 And then he tells me we're not gonna be in Chicago anymore. 491 00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:22,250 I mean, who in their right mind would leave this place? 492 00:20:22,333 --> 00:20:23,541 Well, I did. 493 00:20:23,625 --> 00:20:26,958 Yeah, but that's different. You had to for your career. 494 00:20:27,041 --> 00:20:28,041 So... 495 00:20:28,125 --> 00:20:29,416 Oh! 496 00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:32,291 Okay, you walked me into that one. 497 00:20:32,375 --> 00:20:35,250 Diane, you just have to remember that change is a part of life, 498 00:20:35,333 --> 00:20:38,250 and embracing that change doesn't mean you're not being yourself. 499 00:20:38,333 --> 00:20:41,541 Whoa! I wish you could give this presentation! 500 00:20:41,625 --> 00:20:44,083 Not happening. Speaking of which, when does that start? 501 00:20:44,166 --> 00:20:45,375 Not until, like, 11:00. 502 00:20:45,458 --> 00:20:47,041 Well, it's 10:55. 503 00:20:47,125 --> 00:20:48,875 Ah, shit! I gotta go! 504 00:20:49,541 --> 00:20:51,625 Hey, is there any way I can get a ride? 505 00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:53,666 Yes. You. Can. 506 00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:55,250 Thanks, Obama. 507 00:20:55,333 --> 00:20:56,500 Shotgun! 508 00:20:56,583 --> 00:20:58,375 - Freeze! - Get on the ground! 509 00:20:58,875 --> 00:21:04,041 When I saw these two on Smelt Tank, I knew I had netted a winner. [chuckles] 510 00:21:04,125 --> 00:21:08,750 Chicago Cosmecon, please welcome to the stage, Congeal! 511 00:21:08,833 --> 00:21:10,958 - [man 1] Yes, alright! - [man 2] Woo-hoo! 512 00:21:11,041 --> 00:21:12,208 [crowd cheering] 513 00:21:12,291 --> 00:21:17,250 Hello! Who's ready to freakin' party while... also moisturizing? 514 00:21:17,333 --> 00:21:18,791 [crowd muttering] 515 00:21:18,875 --> 00:21:19,875 Okay then. 516 00:21:19,958 --> 00:21:22,041 My name is Gideon Duchamp. 517 00:21:22,125 --> 00:21:23,958 Or as Pac-Man would say, 518 00:21:24,041 --> 00:21:27,083 Gideon Duchamp-champ-champ-champ. [chuckles] 519 00:21:27,166 --> 00:21:29,208 [silence] 520 00:21:29,291 --> 00:21:31,125 Actually, it was Ms. Pac-Man. 521 00:21:31,208 --> 00:21:32,583 Does that help the joke? 522 00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:34,625 - [audience groans] - [man] Come on. 523 00:21:36,416 --> 00:21:39,500 Don't faint, don't you fucking faint! 524 00:21:39,583 --> 00:21:40,583 [sighs] 525 00:21:40,666 --> 00:21:42,958 Hello, Cosmecon! 526 00:21:43,041 --> 00:21:44,241 - Thank God! - [crowd cheering] 527 00:21:44,291 --> 00:21:48,833 Who's ready to frickin' party while moisturizing? 528 00:21:48,916 --> 00:21:51,208 Come on, everyone on your feet! 529 00:21:51,291 --> 00:21:53,541 - [dance music playing] - Ta-da-da-da! 530 00:21:53,625 --> 00:21:56,291 Talking to you, mustache. Ta-da-da-da! 531 00:21:56,375 --> 00:21:57,708 On your feet, glasses! 532 00:21:58,208 --> 00:22:00,250 Ta-da-da-da-da! 533 00:22:00,333 --> 00:22:01,833 Y'all ready for Congeal? 534 00:22:01,916 --> 00:22:04,000 That's what I'm talkin' about. 535 00:22:04,083 --> 00:22:05,750 - Okay, let's get real. - [crowd cheering] 536 00:22:05,833 --> 00:22:09,375 I started making lotion as a way to give gifts to the people I care about 537 00:22:09,458 --> 00:22:11,000 while also being super cheap. 538 00:22:11,083 --> 00:22:12,750 And while a lot has changed, 539 00:22:12,833 --> 00:22:16,791 one thing that hasn't is the love that goes into this product. 540 00:22:16,875 --> 00:22:19,833 - And thanks to this sweet man right here... - [chuckles softly] 541 00:22:19,916 --> 00:22:23,333 ...who dreamed big and pushed me out of my comfort zone, 542 00:22:23,416 --> 00:22:25,666 we have a killer business plan 543 00:22:25,750 --> 00:22:28,750 and both of us are ready to take this to the next level. 544 00:22:28,833 --> 00:22:30,958 Gid, take it away, baby. 545 00:22:31,041 --> 00:22:32,375 Thank you, Diane. 546 00:22:32,458 --> 00:22:33,791 As my partner pointed out, 547 00:22:33,875 --> 00:22:37,041 our journey is just as impressive as our product. 548 00:22:37,125 --> 00:22:38,666 Our projection is the future... 549 00:22:38,750 --> 00:22:42,208 - In conclusion, Congeal frickin' rocks! - [crowd cheering] 550 00:22:42,291 --> 00:22:47,541 And we hope our presentation has given you a big lift! 551 00:22:47,625 --> 00:22:51,083 Diane, no! Not the lift from Dirty Dancing again! 552 00:22:51,166 --> 00:22:53,726 - I'm wearing underwear! - ["Flashdance... What a Feeling" plays] 553 00:22:53,750 --> 00:22:55,208 This song is literally called 554 00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:57,708 "Flashdance," parentheses, "What a Feeling." 555 00:22:58,541 --> 00:22:59,666 No... 556 00:22:59,750 --> 00:23:02,916 - Whoo-hoo! - Whoa! 557 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:06,041 JK, I'm not wearing underwear. 558 00:23:06,125 --> 00:23:08,750 Whoo! Diane, child, you is nasty! 559 00:23:08,833 --> 00:23:11,250 And I am here for it, honey! 560 00:23:11,333 --> 00:23:13,291 [laughing] 561 00:23:13,375 --> 00:23:15,625 - [laughing] - [crowd cheering] 562 00:23:15,708 --> 00:23:18,458 I gotta say, that was incredible! 563 00:23:18,541 --> 00:23:19,791 Really blew me away! 564 00:23:19,875 --> 00:23:21,500 Does this mean we have a deal? 565 00:23:21,583 --> 00:23:23,041 - Yeah, that's a no. - What? 566 00:23:23,125 --> 00:23:25,291 - Why? - It came down to numbers. 567 00:23:25,375 --> 00:23:28,583 It's not cost-effective to have Congeal in a large retail space. 568 00:23:28,666 --> 00:23:31,958 But great job! You two nailed that lift! 569 00:23:33,208 --> 00:23:34,791 I'm so sorry, Gid. 570 00:23:34,875 --> 00:23:36,625 No, Diane, I'm sorry. 571 00:23:36,708 --> 00:23:41,000 The line between boss and bossy can get really blurred sometimes. 572 00:23:41,083 --> 00:23:42,791 Should we do a sad hug? 573 00:23:42,875 --> 00:23:45,083 Oh, most definitely, bitch. 574 00:23:45,166 --> 00:23:46,208 Mm! 575 00:23:46,291 --> 00:23:48,291 Hey! Check your email! 576 00:23:48,375 --> 00:23:49,708 - [panting] - Bird got my phone. 577 00:23:49,791 --> 00:23:50,708 It's from Borough! 578 00:23:50,791 --> 00:23:52,875 They said they appreciate the hardball approach 579 00:23:52,958 --> 00:23:55,125 and they want to double their offer! 580 00:23:55,208 --> 00:23:59,291 [gasps] Are you telling me we just sold our company for a shit ton of money? 581 00:23:59,375 --> 00:24:00,916 You know what this means! 582 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,041 [both] Let's frickin' party! 583 00:24:03,125 --> 00:24:04,791 Hey, that's my line! 584 00:24:04,875 --> 00:24:06,791 [all laughing] 585 00:24:06,875 --> 00:24:08,708 [hard rock music playing] 586 00:24:08,791 --> 00:24:10,791 I'm so happy for you, Miss Dunbrowski! 587 00:24:10,875 --> 00:24:14,750 Hey, you call me Diane. Or Mom. 588 00:24:14,833 --> 00:24:16,333 We're real proud of you, Ma. 589 00:24:16,416 --> 00:24:19,083 Thank you, guys. I love you all. 590 00:24:19,166 --> 00:24:20,416 Even you, Kurt. 591 00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:22,833 You never cease to amaze me, Di. 592 00:24:22,916 --> 00:24:23,833 [kisses] 593 00:24:23,916 --> 00:24:25,625 My other family! 594 00:24:25,708 --> 00:24:29,375 I am gonna cut hair next to you three until the day I fuckin' die. 595 00:24:29,458 --> 00:24:30,666 Which won't be for a while 596 00:24:30,750 --> 00:24:32,875 because now I can afford fruits and vegetables. 597 00:24:32,958 --> 00:24:35,000 Appletinis don't count as fruit. 598 00:24:35,083 --> 00:24:36,416 But vodka is potato. 599 00:24:37,083 --> 00:24:38,750 Thank you, Carl. Phew! 600 00:24:38,833 --> 00:24:40,250 Thank God, we have a buyer. 601 00:24:40,333 --> 00:24:42,416 - He's emailing the paperwork now. - [sighs] 602 00:24:42,500 --> 00:24:44,750 Okay. I'm just gonna tell her. 603 00:24:44,833 --> 00:24:46,500 [breathes deeply] 604 00:24:47,750 --> 00:24:51,208 Well, if it isn't my favorite sister and her first husband. 605 00:24:51,291 --> 00:24:54,541 - "First husband"? - Diane, this is so amazing. 606 00:24:54,625 --> 00:24:56,125 And I am really proud of you. 607 00:24:56,208 --> 00:24:57,041 Aww. 608 00:24:57,125 --> 00:25:01,166 I know this is bad timing, but we had to make a tough decision and... 609 00:25:01,250 --> 00:25:02,083 [exhales] 610 00:25:02,166 --> 00:25:04,791 I'm so sorry, but we need to sell the condo. 611 00:25:05,291 --> 00:25:06,666 You snakes! 612 00:25:06,750 --> 00:25:08,375 You're doing this to me again?! 613 00:25:08,458 --> 00:25:12,458 Diane, please. We would never do this if there were any other options. 614 00:25:12,541 --> 00:25:14,458 How soon before I'm out on my ass? 615 00:25:14,541 --> 00:25:16,416 Well, we actually just got a buyer. 616 00:25:16,500 --> 00:25:18,250 Who is it? I want a name! 617 00:25:18,333 --> 00:25:21,666 Uh, it was sold to a... Tits McGee? 618 00:25:22,291 --> 00:25:24,000 [cackling] 619 00:25:24,083 --> 00:25:27,583 It's me, you assholes! I bought the condo! 620 00:25:27,666 --> 00:25:28,750 Wait, what? 621 00:25:28,833 --> 00:25:32,833 The Borough deal was just enough for me to pay you guys what you were asking. 622 00:25:32,916 --> 00:25:36,666 Wow! Well, congrats, homeowner! 623 00:25:36,750 --> 00:25:38,500 I have to tell you guys something. 624 00:25:38,583 --> 00:25:41,375 This gap year was the best decision I ever made. 625 00:25:41,458 --> 00:25:43,875 Aunt Diane, I love living with you! 626 00:25:43,958 --> 00:25:45,250 Back at ya, kiddo. 627 00:25:45,333 --> 00:25:48,541 But I really need to find some friends my own age. 628 00:25:48,625 --> 00:25:50,958 So, I'm going to college! 629 00:25:51,041 --> 00:25:53,625 Traitor! I made you, ya little shit! 630 00:25:53,708 --> 00:25:57,083 Relax, I'm going to DePaul, it's 11 blocks away. 631 00:25:57,166 --> 00:25:58,416 I'm still living with you. 632 00:25:58,500 --> 00:26:00,416 Whoo-hoo! 633 00:26:00,500 --> 00:26:02,041 Did you hear, Mom and Dad? 634 00:26:02,125 --> 00:26:04,000 We're going back to college! 635 00:26:04,083 --> 00:26:06,166 Well, not "we," I am. 636 00:26:06,250 --> 00:26:08,291 And you guys can relax too. 637 00:26:08,375 --> 00:26:11,750 I'm using my money from the buyout to cover my first year of tuition. 638 00:26:11,833 --> 00:26:14,291 Ah! Thank you! I can't be a Postmate. 639 00:26:14,375 --> 00:26:16,708 Even the smell of spicy food gives me heartburn. 640 00:26:16,791 --> 00:26:18,250 Attention, everyone! 641 00:26:18,333 --> 00:26:20,916 I'd like to make a toast to the Congeal team. 642 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,041 We did it! 643 00:26:22,125 --> 00:26:24,250 - [cheering] - Congratulations, Congeal! 644 00:26:24,333 --> 00:26:26,250 Where are the other Bulls? 645 00:26:26,333 --> 00:26:29,041 And thanks to all of you for being you. 646 00:26:29,125 --> 00:26:32,791 Because you being you is what makes me be me. 647 00:26:32,875 --> 00:26:35,041 Now, let's frickin' party! 648 00:26:35,125 --> 00:26:37,708 [all cheering] 649 00:26:37,791 --> 00:26:39,500 [electricity sizzles] 650 00:26:39,583 --> 00:26:40,833 [power dies down] 651 00:26:40,916 --> 00:26:42,458 [Diane] Okay, nobody panic! 652 00:26:42,541 --> 00:26:44,458 Everyone, grab a glow stick! 653 00:26:44,541 --> 00:26:46,666 - [Tina] Already on it! - [Bonnie] Yay! 654 00:26:46,750 --> 00:26:48,541 [Diane] That's what I'm talkin' about! 655 00:26:48,625 --> 00:26:51,666 The party never stops when you're with Diane! 656 00:26:51,750 --> 00:26:54,250 All I'm sayin' is, prove me wrong. 657 00:26:54,333 --> 00:26:56,208 Tell me I'm wrong! 658 00:26:56,291 --> 00:26:58,916 ["Nothin' But a Good Time" by Poison playing] 659 00:27:00,291 --> 00:27:04,416 ♪ Don't need nothin' but a good time ♪ 660 00:27:04,500 --> 00:27:07,250 ♪ How can I resist ♪ 661 00:27:07,333 --> 00:27:11,333 ♪ Ain't lookin' for nothin' But a good time ♪ 662 00:27:11,416 --> 00:27:15,041 ♪ And it don't get better than this ♪ 663 00:27:16,958 --> 00:27:21,166 ♪ They say I spend my money On women and wine ♪ 664 00:27:21,250 --> 00:27:24,541 ♪ But I couldn't tell you Where I spent last night ♪ 665 00:27:25,291 --> 00:27:28,125 ♪ I'm really sorry About the shape I'm in ♪ 666 00:27:28,208 --> 00:27:31,916 ♪ I just like my fun every now and then ♪ 667 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:35,916 ♪ I'm always workin', slavin' every day ♪ 668 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:40,041 ♪ Gotta get away From that same old, same old ♪ 669 00:27:40,125 --> 00:27:42,916 ♪ I need a chance just to get away... ♪