1
00:00:06,209 --> 00:00:09,834
‎NETFLIX 原創影集

2
00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:11,793
‎（亞當肋排，歡迎來到吃喝花院）

3
00:00:11,876 --> 00:00:13,918
‎芝加哥的夏日

4
00:00:14,001 --> 00:00:17,501
‎就是要有一群曬黑喝茫的人
‎在野外吃肉

5
00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:20,209
‎也就是“助排節”

6
00:00:20,751 --> 00:00:24,918
‎每年一度，我並非場上唯一的騷貨了

7
00:00:25,584 --> 00:00:27,334
‎“屎”命完成

8
00:00:28,626 --> 00:00:31,084
‎為你接下來要聞到的臭味先道個歉

9
00:00:31,168 --> 00:00:33,418
‎裡面已經臭氣沖天了

10
00:00:33,918 --> 00:00:35,626
‎這裡不會搞一整天吧？

11
00:00:35,709 --> 00:00:38,126
‎我中午要去上班開值班前會議

12
00:00:38,209 --> 00:00:41,043
‎沒問題
‎中午只會剩下零零碎碎的肋肉

13
00:00:41,126 --> 00:00:43,251
‎還有女人和混蛋

14
00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:44,876
‎我看看…

15
00:00:44,959 --> 00:00:46,876
‎八張票換一塊豬鞍

16
00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:49,501
‎麻煩要200張票

17
00:00:49,584 --> 00:00:52,126
‎優惠後是78塊

18
00:00:52,209 --> 00:00:54,918
‎噢，我不是學生，我已經畢業了

19
00:00:55,001 --> 00:00:58,626
‎不，我不是說學生優惠
‎我是給她老人優惠

20
00:00:58,709 --> 00:01:02,168
‎我通常不會這樣對男人說
‎但你有種再來一次

21
00:01:02,251 --> 00:01:04,251
‎小姐，妳就是老啊

22
00:01:04,334 --> 00:01:05,293
‎（老人優惠）

23
00:01:17,834 --> 00:01:19,168
‎難以置信

24
00:01:19,251 --> 00:01:20,626
‎說我是人妻熟女沒關係

25
00:01:20,709 --> 00:01:22,543
‎但我還沒準備好當大媽啊

26
00:01:22,626 --> 00:01:24,084
‎我看起來很老嗎？

27
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,168
‎喂…

28
00:01:26,251 --> 00:01:28,251
‎噢，謝天謝地

29
00:01:28,334 --> 00:01:29,876
‎盡情讚美本小姐吧！

30
00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:32,918
‎-小子，那裡路面不平
‎-把婆婆扶好

31
00:01:33,001 --> 00:01:33,834
‎甚麼？

32
00:01:33,918 --> 00:01:35,459
‎婆婆，沒事

33
00:01:35,543 --> 00:01:38,043
‎你要好好珍惜你奶奶

34
00:01:38,126 --> 00:01:40,126
‎我也希望我奶奶還在生

35
00:01:40,209 --> 00:01:41,334
‎我們回家吧

36
00:01:46,668 --> 00:01:49,501
‎天啊，或許我真的有點老態

37
00:01:49,584 --> 00:01:53,501
‎別聽他們說吧，妳顯然不是老年人

38
00:01:53,584 --> 00:01:56,334
‎我知道
‎但站在你這個肌膚白滑的小暖男旁邊

39
00:01:56,418 --> 00:01:58,251
‎我就顯得更老了

40
00:01:58,334 --> 00:02:00,376
‎你讓我顯得像
‎八十幾歲的天殺茱迪丹芝

41
00:02:00,459 --> 00:02:02,459
‎天殺茱迪丹契是個女爵士

42
00:02:02,543 --> 00:02:03,668
‎妳也一樣

43
00:02:03,751 --> 00:02:06,709
‎妳基本上在人生高峰期
‎而且還是單身

44
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:09,084
‎沒錯耶，我是單身

45
00:02:09,168 --> 00:02:10,751
‎知道有甚麼能讓我高興嗎？

46
00:02:10,834 --> 00:02:12,876
‎美好的老派BD

47
00:02:12,959 --> 00:02:16,834
‎我問完肯定會後悔，但甚麼是BD？

48
00:02:16,918 --> 00:02:18,918
‎酒吧爽炮，就像酒吧吸毒

49
00:02:19,001 --> 00:02:21,626
‎品質參差，不知道那根屌的來頭

50
00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:23,584
‎但還是會爽到

51
00:02:23,668 --> 00:02:24,751
‎外甥，真是個好建議

52
00:02:24,834 --> 00:02:26,876
‎那是妳自己提出來的建議

53
00:02:26,959 --> 00:02:29,584
‎給你，拿這包肋排去做午餐和晚餐吧

54
00:02:29,668 --> 00:02:31,876
‎因為老娘今晚不歸家了

55
00:02:33,293 --> 00:02:34,626
‎我去換褲子

56
00:02:34,709 --> 00:02:36,709
‎酒吧爽炮…要來打炮囉

57
00:02:36,793 --> 00:02:39,251
‎我們來狂歡吧！

58
00:02:39,334 --> 00:02:40,168
‎甚麼…

59
00:02:40,251 --> 00:02:43,709
‎帥哥在哪裡？我想來找一日情耶

60
00:02:43,793 --> 00:02:46,251
‎肋排節期間，這裡總是門可羅雀

61
00:02:46,334 --> 00:02:47,168
‎靠

62
00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:49,126
‎好吧，我要一杯深水炸彈

63
00:02:49,209 --> 00:02:50,543
‎賴瑞，要一杯嗎？

64
00:02:51,584 --> 00:02:54,543
‎噢，你轉喝啤酒了？好樣的，老賴

65
00:02:55,043 --> 00:02:58,501
‎敬樂觀態度與百毒不侵

66
00:03:01,168 --> 00:03:03,793
‎好，老娘走了，賴瑞，掰掰

67
00:03:05,001 --> 00:03:08,293
‎噢，哇，老賴，謝謝你的讚美

68
00:03:08,376 --> 00:03:09,709
‎（創意飲料）

69
00:03:10,376 --> 00:03:13,543
‎我想活在當下，把每一次交流

70
00:03:13,626 --> 00:03:15,918
‎都視為連繫心靈的機會

71
00:03:17,084 --> 00:03:19,918
‎卡士頓，講得非常好，會議順利進行

72
00:03:20,001 --> 00:03:22,001
‎記得要追隨己心

73
00:03:22,084 --> 00:03:23,918
‎還有記得推廣薑黃飲料

74
00:03:24,001 --> 00:03:26,376
‎這玩意的利潤超高

75
00:03:27,376 --> 00:03:30,959
‎丹尼爾，大家都很高興有你加入團隊

76
00:03:31,043 --> 00:03:33,376
‎今天我想讓你走上一段神聖的旅程

77
00:03:33,459 --> 00:03:35,459
‎成為健康招募員

78
00:03:36,168 --> 00:03:37,501
‎需要做些甚麼？

79
00:03:38,876 --> 00:03:40,834
‎（問我有關薑黃的事吧）

80
00:03:43,543 --> 00:03:44,793
‎免費薑黃飲料？

81
00:03:44,876 --> 00:03:47,043
‎吸屌去吧，黑板人

82
00:03:47,126 --> 00:03:48,501
‎嗨，丹尼爾

83
00:03:48,584 --> 00:03:50,751
‎-嗨，克萊雅，嗨，史隆
‎-嗨

84
00:03:50,834 --> 00:03:53,084
‎-雷吉…
‎-丹哥，怎麼樣？

85
00:03:53,168 --> 00:03:55,418
‎記得以前體育課嗎？打你蛋蛋

86
00:03:55,501 --> 00:03:57,293
‎酷喔，你還在玩這招

87
00:03:57,376 --> 00:03:59,001
‎你們要去哪裡？

88
00:03:59,084 --> 00:04:01,293
‎在大學開學之前在城裡到處逛逛

89
00:04:01,376 --> 00:04:04,376
‎你去唸史丹佛前，都在這裡打工嗎？

90
00:04:04,459 --> 00:04:07,626
‎我把進大學的計劃推遲了

91
00:04:07,709 --> 00:04:09,668
‎-以思考人生
‎-甚麼？

92
00:04:09,751 --> 00:04:11,501
‎要住在家裡？不了

93
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:14,751
‎我恨不得趕快上大學
‎離開我那個臭婊老媽的家

94
00:04:14,834 --> 00:04:18,043
‎我其實就住在附近的一間公寓

95
00:04:18,918 --> 00:04:21,668
‎你在城裡有自己的公寓？

96
00:04:21,751 --> 00:04:23,751
‎對，我自己一個住在那裡

97
00:04:23,834 --> 00:04:26,668
‎-真好，我們可以過去嗎？
‎-噢，不太好吧

98
00:04:26,751 --> 00:04:30,334
‎我們想找個地方開趴
‎我表哥泰勒來訪了

99
00:04:30,418 --> 00:04:31,751
‎泰勒霍士奇？

100
00:04:31,834 --> 00:04:33,793
‎他是我們高中的男神耶

101
00:04:33,876 --> 00:04:38,126
‎對，他專門用來擺肌肉照的IG
‎被製作人看上了

102
00:04:38,209 --> 00:04:42,084
‎現在他成為了替身演員
‎演全白人的重製版《嘻哈世家》

103
00:04:42,168 --> 00:04:44,793
‎-你認識他嗎？
‎-當然認識

104
00:04:44,876 --> 00:04:47,126
‎他重讀高三那年，我只是高一

105
00:04:47,209 --> 00:04:49,001
‎我們上同一節化學課

106
00:04:49,084 --> 00:04:51,751
‎我流鼻血的時候，大家都在笑我

107
00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:53,501
‎只有他叫其他人別再笑

108
00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:56,251
‎還把頭巾借給我擦血

109
00:04:56,334 --> 00:04:57,751
‎我至今仍然留著那條頭巾

110
00:04:57,834 --> 00:04:59,501
‎我是說…我丟掉了

111
00:04:59,584 --> 00:05:01,959
‎所以是的，我認識泰勒霍士奇

112
00:05:02,043 --> 00:05:04,543
‎他現在的日子不太好過

113
00:05:04,626 --> 00:05:06,168
‎他被女友甩了

114
00:05:06,251 --> 00:05:09,376
‎現在他對人生中所有事情都很疑惑

115
00:05:09,459 --> 00:05:10,293
‎好

116
00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:13,584
‎他稱之為“泰勒的夏日新嘗試”

117
00:05:13,668 --> 00:05:14,709
‎真的嗎？

118
00:05:14,793 --> 00:05:17,209
‎總而言之，老友，你不想聚的話…

119
00:05:17,293 --> 00:05:19,709
‎不會，你們可以過來

120
00:05:19,793 --> 00:05:22,293
‎帶任何人都可以，朋友，女朋友

121
00:05:22,376 --> 00:05:24,168
‎男神表哥，隨便啦

122
00:05:24,668 --> 00:05:26,168
‎好極了，我們會去的

123
00:05:29,084 --> 00:05:30,251
‎畏縮就打兩打

124
00:05:31,209 --> 00:05:34,084
‎噢，還在玩這個，酷喔

125
00:05:41,168 --> 00:05:42,709
‎馬克，那是我的洗臉盆

126
00:05:42,793 --> 00:05:44,209
‎老婆，抱歉

127
00:05:44,293 --> 00:05:47,126
‎我要為明天打炮做好準備

128
00:05:47,209 --> 00:05:48,668
‎已經到了愛愛星期日？

129
00:05:48,751 --> 00:05:50,376
‎時間飛逝啊

130
00:05:50,459 --> 00:05:51,543
‎說到飛逝

131
00:05:51,626 --> 00:05:54,793
‎明天下午2點，妳就會爽爽的

132
00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:56,793
‎天啊，摸摸現在多光滑

133
00:05:56,876 --> 00:05:58,293
‎看起來也比較大？

134
00:05:59,209 --> 00:06:00,918
‎確實有比較大

135
00:06:01,001 --> 00:06:02,334
‎可不是嘛

136
00:06:02,418 --> 00:06:04,834
‎對，怎麼了？

137
00:06:06,209 --> 00:06:08,543
‎達文波特，愛荷華兄弟到來！

138
00:06:08,626 --> 00:06:10,793
‎達文波特？闊德城裡的其中一個縣！

139
00:06:10,876 --> 00:06:14,293
‎我再口交一個人
‎就集齊五個縣的屌了！

140
00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:18,001
‎你們有誰是莫林人嗎？

141
00:06:25,001 --> 00:06:27,376
‎喂，有沒有齊柏林飛船的歌？

142
00:06:27,459 --> 00:06:28,584
‎今天是嘻哈音樂

143
00:06:28,668 --> 00:06:31,418
‎老人之夜在週二的4點到6點

144
00:06:31,501 --> 00:06:32,501
‎你吸屌去吧

145
00:06:32,584 --> 00:06:34,334
‎好了，派對上的各位

146
00:06:34,418 --> 00:06:38,334
‎是時候看看誰有勇氣來騎熊了

147
00:06:45,251 --> 00:06:46,834
‎媽的翠西

148
00:06:52,668 --> 00:06:54,043
‎弱爆了

149
00:06:54,709 --> 00:06:55,834
‎成功了！

150
00:06:55,918 --> 00:06:56,918
‎好耶！

151
00:06:57,001 --> 00:06:58,793
‎她的襯衫差點被甩掉了

152
00:06:58,876 --> 00:07:02,459
‎讓我看看真正的女人
‎是怎麼“無套”騎熊

153
00:07:04,793 --> 00:07:06,876
‎這玩意要怎麼開？

154
00:07:08,501 --> 00:07:09,918
‎我的胸啊

155
00:07:10,918 --> 00:07:12,043
‎媽的！

156
00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:15,918
‎完美著陸

157
00:07:24,793 --> 00:07:26,876
‎老兄們，怎麼樣？

158
00:07:26,959 --> 00:07:28,126
‎請進

159
00:07:28,209 --> 00:07:31,084
‎你的門鈴
‎怎麼會寫“黛安鄧布羅斯基”？

160
00:07:31,793 --> 00:07:32,876
‎那是我變裝後的名字

161
00:07:33,543 --> 00:07:34,709
‎丹尼爾，我不得不說

162
00:07:34,793 --> 00:07:38,709
‎我喜歡你這裡的
‎懷舊兄弟會的諷刺體育風

163
00:07:38,793 --> 00:07:40,418
‎噢，不是完全諷刺的

164
00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:43,876
‎我是O.J.辛普森的大粉絲

165
00:07:45,376 --> 00:07:47,543
‎對了，你表哥呢？

166
00:07:47,626 --> 00:07:50,459
‎他在工作，他們好像加了一場戲

167
00:07:50,543 --> 00:07:53,543
‎是白人版的庫琪
‎向白人版路西斯丟美乃滋

168
00:07:54,043 --> 00:07:57,084
‎他得整天站著
‎身上還滴著白色的黏液

169
00:07:57,168 --> 00:07:58,834
‎天啊

170
00:07:59,959 --> 00:08:02,126
‎丹尼爾，你這裡很酷耶

171
00:08:02,751 --> 00:08:05,376
‎抱歉了，但我們以後都不走了

172
00:08:05,459 --> 00:08:09,834
‎抱歉了，但我一點都不介意

173
00:08:13,334 --> 00:08:14,751
‎噢，失陪一下

174
00:08:16,584 --> 00:08:19,001
‎-喂？
‎-嘿，我正在回家了

175
00:08:19,084 --> 00:08:20,418
‎你要吃口袋披薩之類嗎？

176
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:22,793
‎等等，妳不是今天不回家嗎？

177
00:08:22,876 --> 00:08:25,918
‎是的，我去過兩間酒吧想約炮

178
00:08:26,001 --> 00:08:27,918
‎又去過一間酒吧想吸毒
‎還是失敗告終

179
00:08:28,001 --> 00:08:29,668
‎我只想穿起可食用內褲

180
00:08:29,751 --> 00:08:32,668
‎等死神來把我的頭割掉

181
00:08:32,751 --> 00:08:34,918
‎我認為妳不應該放棄

182
00:08:35,001 --> 00:08:37,501
‎或許妳可以去找…科特！

183
00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:40,209
‎不如去找科特叔叔吧
‎他應該很想妳

184
00:08:40,293 --> 00:08:41,459
‎對耶

185
00:08:41,543 --> 00:08:43,168
‎要回復年輕身心

186
00:08:43,251 --> 00:08:46,001
‎最好的做法就是讓科特
‎給我一套“西斯科爾與艾伯特”

187
00:08:46,084 --> 00:08:49,418
‎-那招是他把兩個指頭舉起…
‎-先掛了，掰掰！

188
00:08:52,001 --> 00:08:54,501
‎嗨，兒子，我帶了口袋披薩給你

189
00:08:54,584 --> 00:08:55,834
‎媽，我現在沒空

190
00:08:55,918 --> 00:08:58,543
‎西南航空加了一條航線直飛德梅因

191
00:08:58,626 --> 00:09:00,543
‎所有人的行李都是托運

192
00:09:00,626 --> 00:09:02,168
‎工作愉快了，兒子

193
00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:05,543
‎外面天氣很熱，記得要多喝汽水

194
00:09:07,084 --> 00:09:12,001
‎噢，那個“大蜥蜴”帥哥是誰？

195
00:09:12,084 --> 00:09:13,584
‎牽著美洲鬣蜥散步呢

196
00:09:14,418 --> 00:09:15,876
‎小黛，妳來幹嘛？

197
00:09:15,959 --> 00:09:17,459
‎希望能幹你

198
00:09:17,543 --> 00:09:20,709
‎科特，我們一起經歷過不少風雨
‎但我們之間永遠不過時

199
00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:23,459
‎最重要是我們還是年輕貌美

200
00:09:23,543 --> 00:09:27,501
‎我們趕緊看看車庫的隱壁床
‎能承受多大的活動量吧

201
00:09:27,584 --> 00:09:30,668
‎科特，寶貝，健怡汽水在哪裡？

202
00:09:30,751 --> 00:09:31,918
‎噢，嗨

203
00:09:32,501 --> 00:09:35,834
‎就擺在鹿肉下面，我馬上過來

204
00:09:35,918 --> 00:09:37,293
‎好，掰掰

205
00:09:38,043 --> 00:09:39,418
‎那個女人是誰？

206
00:09:39,501 --> 00:09:41,626
‎那是我的…她是我…

207
00:09:42,126 --> 00:09:43,751
‎朋友，所以…

208
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,668
‎科特，再操我一次吧

209
00:09:50,626 --> 00:09:52,293
‎（博羅）

210
00:09:53,084 --> 00:09:55,918
‎他們在味好美百貨的異國動物展認識

211
00:09:56,001 --> 00:09:58,626
‎我超生氣，我喝了七杯深水炸彈

212
00:09:58,709 --> 00:10:00,834
‎然後睡在炸雞店了

213
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:03,168
‎我得做些事情來回復年輕

214
00:10:03,251 --> 00:10:05,126
‎我們都是同齡的，是吧？

215
00:10:05,626 --> 00:10:06,668
‎我32歲

216
00:10:06,751 --> 00:10:08,626
‎我不知道自己的出生日期

217
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:10,459
‎來一次大改造怎麼樣？

218
00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:12,418
‎蒂娜，妳很會化妝

219
00:10:12,501 --> 00:10:15,418
‎蘇珊的假髮又夠完美

220
00:10:15,501 --> 00:10:17,793
‎這不是假髮，是我的天然頭髮

221
00:10:18,668 --> 00:10:21,293
‎但我看起來像IG的淫女嗎？

222
00:10:21,376 --> 00:10:23,459
‎比較像IG的大媽

223
00:10:23,543 --> 00:10:25,376
‎黛安，妳在幹嘛？

224
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:27,959
‎我今天得求蒂娜來上班

225
00:10:28,043 --> 00:10:32,376
‎因為妳在日程表上寫“事假，肋排節”

226
00:10:32,459 --> 00:10:34,876
‎若果是事假

227
00:10:34,959 --> 00:10:38,334
‎妳就不用告訴我所為何事

228
00:10:38,418 --> 00:10:42,043
‎吉迪恩，我心情不好
‎我想來一個形象大改造

229
00:10:42,126 --> 00:10:44,209
‎問題不是在於妳的頭髮

230
00:10:44,293 --> 00:10:49,001
‎現代人都看身材
‎而妳的身材可不行呢

231
00:10:49,084 --> 00:10:52,334
‎你認真？我的身材可好了

232
00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:53,668
‎在高中我被票選為

233
00:10:53,751 --> 00:10:56,418
‎最有可能靠濕身衣服賺錢的女人

234
00:10:56,501 --> 00:10:58,584
‎但妳屁股現在大得像愛爾蘭女人

235
00:10:58,668 --> 00:11:00,668
‎全身胖到不行

236
00:11:00,751 --> 00:11:03,043
‎好了，蘇珊娜，講夠了

237
00:11:03,126 --> 00:11:04,668
‎給我提點解決辦法吧

238
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:06,751
‎去找我朋友卡琳娜吧

239
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:10,168
‎她在黃金海岸營運一間高檔塑身衣店

240
00:11:10,251 --> 00:11:11,834
‎名為“腰間管理”

241
00:11:11,918 --> 00:11:15,501
‎她可以糾正妳身體任何不好看的部分

242
00:11:15,584 --> 00:11:19,251
‎那會有…“吉迪恩介紹”優惠嗎？

243
00:11:19,334 --> 00:11:21,334
‎大姊，你最好別提到我的名字

244
00:11:21,418 --> 00:11:22,251
‎收到

245
00:11:28,918 --> 00:11:31,543
‎天啊，黛安阿姨，妳昨晚去哪裡了？

246
00:11:31,626 --> 00:11:33,543
‎我超擔心…

247
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:37,584
‎罩衫，克萊雅，你們怎麼來了？

248
00:11:37,668 --> 00:11:41,293
‎我們想繼續開趴，好好享受週日

249
00:11:41,376 --> 00:11:43,876
‎其實我有點累了

250
00:11:43,959 --> 00:11:45,293
‎丹尼爾，你好嗎？

251
00:11:55,709 --> 00:11:57,959
‎天啊，泰勒霍士奇

252
00:11:58,043 --> 00:12:00,418
‎我聽說你開了一個很棒的派對

253
00:12:05,584 --> 00:12:07,334
‎丹尼爾說他累了

254
00:12:07,418 --> 00:12:08,293
‎沒有

255
00:12:08,376 --> 00:12:11,751
‎不，雷吉，別這麼…賤

256
00:12:12,334 --> 00:12:13,709
‎你這個小賤人

257
00:12:13,793 --> 00:12:14,834
‎進來吧

258
00:12:19,751 --> 00:12:24,084
‎嘿，我剛剛看過手錶
‎現在是愛愛時間囉

259
00:12:24,168 --> 00:12:25,584
‎真的嗎？

260
00:12:25,668 --> 00:12:27,709
‎我還想開始看《良醫墨非》

261
00:12:27,793 --> 00:12:29,584
‎我們在讀書會要談到

262
00:12:29,668 --> 00:12:32,376
‎是的，不過到愛愛時間了

263
00:12:32,459 --> 00:12:35,084
‎我們之前有固定時間

264
00:12:35,168 --> 00:12:37,459
‎是因丹尼爾之前
‎會在這個時段做模擬聯合國

265
00:12:37,543 --> 00:12:39,543
‎現在我們不用趕著做

266
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:42,126
‎我們隨時都可以做，是吧？

267
00:12:42,209 --> 00:12:43,459
‎應該是吧

268
00:12:43,543 --> 00:12:45,751
‎看《良醫墨菲》？

269
00:12:45,834 --> 00:12:49,168
‎我在《吉米法倫》看過他，還蠻帥的

270
00:12:49,251 --> 00:12:50,209
‎我有看到

271
00:12:50,293 --> 00:12:53,376
‎他們互丟餡餅，場面超混亂

272
00:12:53,459 --> 00:12:54,959
‎（腰間管理）

273
00:12:58,543 --> 00:13:00,084
‎妳到底怎麼穿上去的？

274
00:13:00,168 --> 00:13:02,543
‎大姊，我不穿的話就胖成奶昔大哥了

275
00:13:02,626 --> 00:13:03,834
‎當女人變老

276
00:13:03,918 --> 00:13:06,959
‎我們會失去原有的
‎小蠻腰與豐滿的身材

277
00:13:07,043 --> 00:13:10,251
‎對，是很奇怪，我屁股一點都不豐滿

278
00:13:10,334 --> 00:13:12,834
‎親愛的，後面放鬆一點吧

279
00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:16,834
‎自從跟吉姆貝魯什打炮後
‎我都沒有試過這麼壓迫了

280
00:13:18,543 --> 00:13:19,793
‎謝天謝地

281
00:13:19,876 --> 00:13:20,959
‎謝謝光顧

282
00:13:21,043 --> 00:13:23,001
‎祝妳在孫子的成人禮上玩得開心

283
00:13:23,084 --> 00:13:25,209
‎等等，妳有個孫子？

284
00:13:25,293 --> 00:13:27,459
‎難道妳未成年就結婚嗎？

285
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:30,209
‎很常有人這樣說

286
00:13:30,293 --> 00:13:32,501
‎不，這張臉是靠凱萊珀爾曼醫生整的

287
00:13:32,584 --> 00:13:34,001
‎她真是最棒了

288
00:13:34,084 --> 00:13:37,626
‎她光是幫我把耳朵提高
‎我就年輕20年了

289
00:13:37,709 --> 00:13:40,834
‎她的店就在過一條街
‎普拉達快買旁邊

290
00:13:40,918 --> 00:13:43,751
‎妳是指熊貓快餐吧

291
00:13:45,043 --> 00:13:46,501
‎熊貓快餐

292
00:13:47,001 --> 00:13:49,751
‎言歸正傳，卡琳娜
‎貴店有退貨條款嗎？

293
00:13:49,834 --> 00:13:51,751
‎只要有價錢牌都能退嗎？

294
00:13:51,834 --> 00:13:54,084
‎還是會用夜光燈照過乾淨才能退？

295
00:13:58,793 --> 00:14:01,584
‎你這間屋真適合用來開趴，丹尼爾

296
00:14:02,168 --> 00:14:05,001
‎到處都有零散的藥片

297
00:14:09,584 --> 00:14:12,543
‎嗨，泰勒，抱歉我們的胸口互撞了

298
00:14:12,626 --> 00:14:14,043
‎沒關係，阿丹

299
00:14:14,126 --> 00:14:16,293
‎恭喜你的事業這麼順利

300
00:14:16,376 --> 00:14:18,418
‎我們可以坐下來談嗎？

301
00:14:18,501 --> 00:14:20,043
‎替身工作真難做

302
00:14:20,376 --> 00:14:22,209
‎（愛荷華州）

303
00:14:24,834 --> 00:14:25,959
‎他們讓我想起

304
00:14:26,043 --> 00:14:28,626
‎我不上大學，可說是沒有任何損失

305
00:14:28,709 --> 00:14:32,626
‎我也有同感，我目前休學一年

306
00:14:32,709 --> 00:14:35,043
‎我也在蓋璞當過一年模特兒

307
00:14:41,293 --> 00:14:44,084
‎醫生，怎麼樣？我是不是沒救了？

308
00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:48,876
‎你目前的狀態
‎我們會稱之為“傷眼睛”

309
00:14:48,959 --> 00:14:51,543
‎但若果做1到14次大型手術

310
00:14:51,626 --> 00:14:53,209
‎妳可以變成這樣

311
00:14:53,834 --> 00:14:55,293
‎天啊

312
00:14:55,376 --> 00:14:58,043
‎這是我見過最美麗的容顏

313
00:14:58,126 --> 00:15:00,543
‎我可以幫妳排期在三年後的禮拜二

314
00:15:00,626 --> 00:15:04,751
‎或者我明天早上8點
‎有一個預約取消的空檔

315
00:15:04,834 --> 00:15:07,668
‎看來拉姆伊曼紐爾不介意有三顆乳頭

316
00:15:07,751 --> 00:15:08,834
‎明天沒問題！

317
00:15:09,418 --> 00:15:13,626
‎妳今晚10點後
‎一定不能進食或飲用任何東西

318
00:15:13,709 --> 00:15:14,834
‎妳沒有吸煙習慣吧？

319
00:15:14,918 --> 00:15:16,334
‎天啦，當然沒有

320
00:15:17,793 --> 00:15:19,043
‎還有最重要的

321
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:21,043
‎是妳需要一個人在手術後來接妳

322
00:15:21,126 --> 00:15:24,126
‎-妳手術後會不能自理
‎-到時看看怎樣

323
00:15:24,209 --> 00:15:27,251
‎我曾經喝完28罐啤酒也能降落飛機

324
00:15:27,334 --> 00:15:29,001
‎沒有其他問題了

325
00:15:34,293 --> 00:15:35,793
‎天啊，給她一點…

326
00:15:37,501 --> 00:15:38,584
‎不好了

327
00:15:41,126 --> 00:15:43,501
‎原來…我並非一個良醫

328
00:15:47,251 --> 00:15:49,543
‎我們是不是該愛愛了？

329
00:15:50,084 --> 00:15:52,959
‎邦邦，老實說，我現在沒感覺

330
00:15:53,043 --> 00:15:54,918
‎我也是，那有差嗎？

331
00:15:55,001 --> 00:15:59,168
‎首先，我還是很驚訝
‎那個女人要接受豬心移植

332
00:15:59,251 --> 00:16:02,668
‎以前我們要趕在丹尼爾回家前做完

333
00:16:02,751 --> 00:16:05,209
‎或許時間限制也是樂趣之一

334
00:16:05,293 --> 00:16:06,126
‎喂

335
00:16:06,209 --> 00:16:07,668
‎我要把自己的臉吃掉了

336
00:16:07,751 --> 00:16:11,584
‎因為晚上10點開始
‎我就要節食了，妳來猜猜原因

337
00:16:11,668 --> 00:16:13,834
‎妳明天要到免費診所做血檢？

338
00:16:13,918 --> 00:16:16,168
‎不必去了，化驗結果肯定是陽性

339
00:16:16,251 --> 00:16:19,501
‎其實我是要去整容，改頭換臉！

340
00:16:19,584 --> 00:16:23,126
‎我會美得像在電影中幹蜜桃的男生

341
00:16:23,209 --> 00:16:25,501
‎-妳看過《以你的名字呼喚我》？
‎-只看過那段

342
00:16:25,584 --> 00:16:29,293
‎我在丹尼爾電腦裡
‎寫著“工作”的檔案中找到的

343
00:16:29,376 --> 00:16:32,376
‎言歸正傳，我會要妳來醫院接我

344
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:35,126
‎因為我到時候會嗨到不省人事

345
00:16:35,209 --> 00:16:36,834
‎肯定超棒的

346
00:16:36,918 --> 00:16:40,251
‎黛安，整容？萬萬不行

347
00:16:40,334 --> 00:16:43,876
‎說到不行，我走到吉布森酒吧了

348
00:16:43,959 --> 00:16:45,209
‎明天見了，小邦

349
00:16:45,293 --> 00:16:46,418
‎妳不能…

350
00:16:46,501 --> 00:16:48,501
‎要是妳的醫生不夠好怎麼辦？

351
00:16:48,584 --> 00:16:50,001
‎我們可以再看一集嗎？

352
00:16:50,084 --> 00:16:53,876
‎馬克，吉布森酒吧的馬天尼
‎都用船形肉汁盤來盛的

353
00:16:53,959 --> 00:16:56,709
‎喝過兩杯後，她就會變得蠻不講理

354
00:16:56,793 --> 00:16:59,543
‎然後直接去做蠢死的除皺整容手術

355
00:16:59,626 --> 00:17:01,501
‎老婆，妳所有朋友都做過除皺

356
00:17:01,584 --> 00:17:04,418
‎黛安不是我朋友，她是我妹妹！

357
00:17:04,501 --> 00:17:06,668
‎（吉布森酒吧，牛排、魚）

358
00:17:11,918 --> 00:17:14,084
‎這蛋糕也太大塊

359
00:17:14,168 --> 00:17:15,584
‎再來一杯馬天尼

360
00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:19,209
‎這塊豬排是那位先生請妳吃的

361
00:17:30,834 --> 00:17:32,334
‎你不能走湖岸大道嗎？

362
00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:35,251
‎Google地圖說那裡塞車
‎妳到底想我怎樣？

363
00:17:35,334 --> 00:17:37,084
‎-媽的，馬克
‎-邦妮，我知道

364
00:17:37,168 --> 00:17:39,168
‎-我們時間無多
‎-我們時間無多

365
00:17:40,418 --> 00:17:43,918
‎邦妮，我有點性奮

366
00:17:45,043 --> 00:17:45,959
‎靠邊停吧

367
00:17:47,084 --> 00:17:49,459
‎我現在不能再為比拉邦做模特兒

368
00:17:49,543 --> 00:17:51,043
‎因為我大腿的肌肉

369
00:17:51,126 --> 00:17:53,376
‎會塞爆他們那些短褲的褲襠

370
00:17:53,459 --> 00:17:54,959
‎我認為這是一個隱喻

371
00:17:55,043 --> 00:17:58,668
‎證明你不該受到大眾的異性戀規範

372
00:17:58,751 --> 00:18:00,751
‎真的嗎？老丹，你這麼覺得？

373
00:18:00,834 --> 00:18:01,668
‎沒錯

374
00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:03,543
‎我是說…沒錯

375
00:18:03,626 --> 00:18:04,751
‎泰勒？

376
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,459
‎小姐妳哪位？

377
00:18:06,959 --> 00:18:07,876
‎她是我前女友

378
00:18:07,959 --> 00:18:10,418
‎寶貝，我很想念妳的腹肌

379
00:18:10,501 --> 00:18:12,959
‎我也很想念你的腹肌

380
00:18:15,418 --> 00:18:18,376
‎靠，我把全部火焰酒弄丟了

381
00:18:21,126 --> 00:18:22,376
‎猛啊！

382
00:18:23,459 --> 00:18:26,834
‎我記得自己為何討厭高中了

383
00:18:29,043 --> 00:18:30,418
‎我跟我兒子說

384
00:18:30,501 --> 00:18:33,209
‎我75年來都不用大腸鏡檢查

385
00:18:33,293 --> 00:18:34,459
‎幹嘛現在要？

386
00:18:37,876 --> 00:18:39,334
‎真可愛

387
00:18:39,418 --> 00:18:41,376
‎但你真該去檢查一下

388
00:18:41,459 --> 00:18:44,001
‎我不得不說，你好像很享受變老

389
00:18:44,084 --> 00:18:46,251
‎簡直是我人生中最美好的時光

390
00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:49,001
‎真的嗎？因為我都怕死了

391
00:18:49,084 --> 00:18:50,959
‎我在人生的尾端

392
00:18:51,043 --> 00:18:53,084
‎像肋排節的廁所一樣

393
00:18:53,168 --> 00:18:55,001
‎隨時間過去，只會越來越糟

394
00:18:55,084 --> 00:18:57,126
‎看妳怎麼想吧

395
00:18:57,209 --> 00:19:00,584
‎我年輕時擔心的事情…天啊

396
00:19:00,668 --> 00:19:02,168
‎我失去了很多時間

397
00:19:02,251 --> 00:19:04,709
‎你是男人，當然站著說話不腰疼

398
00:19:05,209 --> 00:19:07,459
‎現在都沒有人會欣賞我了

399
00:19:07,543 --> 00:19:09,626
‎即使是看我，也肯定不是好事

400
00:19:10,126 --> 00:19:12,043
‎不會吧

401
00:19:12,126 --> 00:19:15,501
‎妳作為妓女，肯定有很多狂蜂浪蝶吧

402
00:19:15,584 --> 00:19:17,043
‎抱歉，妳說甚麼？

403
00:19:17,126 --> 00:19:19,501
‎我想請妳到我的酒店

404
00:19:19,584 --> 00:19:21,209
‎雖然妳肯定不便宜

405
00:19:21,293 --> 00:19:23,584
‎但不用擔心，我負擔得起

406
00:19:23,668 --> 00:19:25,001
‎不好意思

407
00:19:25,084 --> 00:19:28,793
‎你覺得我這副模樣像妓女嗎？

408
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:29,709
‎是的，沒錯

409
00:19:31,876 --> 00:19:34,084
‎老娘重出江湖了！

410
00:19:34,168 --> 00:19:35,584
‎太好了！

411
00:19:35,668 --> 00:19:36,584
‎謝謝

412
00:19:36,668 --> 00:19:37,501
‎還有…

413
00:19:38,001 --> 00:19:39,793
‎去你的，死變態

414
00:19:47,709 --> 00:19:49,084
‎黛安，妳還好嗎？

415
00:19:49,168 --> 00:19:50,626
‎我還好嗎？

416
00:19:50,709 --> 00:19:53,168
‎裡面那個有錢的老頭以為我是妓女

417
00:19:53,251 --> 00:19:56,209
‎所以我超好的！

418
00:19:56,293 --> 00:19:59,293
‎聽我說，妳萬萬不能整容

419
00:19:59,376 --> 00:20:03,001
‎我一直很仰慕妳
‎因為妳不會為任何人改變

420
00:20:03,084 --> 00:20:04,918
‎現在也不該改變

421
00:20:05,001 --> 00:20:06,459
‎妳已經很漂亮

422
00:20:06,543 --> 00:20:09,334
‎從小到大我都覺得妳很美

423
00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:12,751
‎妳是不是剛打過炮？

424
00:20:12,834 --> 00:20:15,626
‎好了，妳幹嘛要破壞這一刻？

425
00:20:15,709 --> 00:20:17,918
‎答應我，妳不會去…

426
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:21,126
‎謝謝，我不會去整容了

427
00:20:21,209 --> 00:20:23,626
‎妳繼續回去跟老公打炮吧

428
00:20:23,709 --> 00:20:25,709
‎黛安，停啦

429
00:20:29,376 --> 00:20:32,334
‎這就是我的風格

430
00:20:32,418 --> 00:20:34,251
‎喝杯啤酒、搞砸事情

431
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:36,334
‎黛安，謝天謝地！

432
00:20:38,376 --> 00:20:41,668
‎年輕人，你在我公寓開趴了？

433
00:20:42,251 --> 00:20:44,626
‎居然不邀請我？

434
00:20:44,709 --> 00:20:47,543
‎黛安，我因為想炫耀
‎就撒謊說我有屬於自己的公寓

435
00:20:47,626 --> 00:20:49,084
‎只為討好一個叫泰勒的傢伙

436
00:20:49,168 --> 00:20:51,084
‎現在我知道他是個死智障

437
00:20:51,168 --> 00:20:53,293
‎我超級累，只想好好洗澡

438
00:20:53,376 --> 00:20:55,959
‎再看看我電腦裡的“工作”檔案

439
00:20:56,043 --> 00:20:58,793
‎外甥，曾經有一個色老伯說過

440
00:20:59,293 --> 00:21:01,251
‎不要浪費時間裝成別人

441
00:21:02,251 --> 00:21:03,876
‎我們回去開趴吧

442
00:21:03,959 --> 00:21:06,626
‎他們肯定沒有你說得那麼糟吧

443
00:21:10,876 --> 00:21:12,918
‎我和薩米索薩打炮後

444
00:21:13,001 --> 00:21:16,126
‎他送我的親筆簽名棒球？

445
00:21:20,751 --> 00:21:24,001
‎好，全部人出去，快點，滾出去！

446
00:21:24,084 --> 00:21:25,418
‎掰掰，美女

447
00:21:25,501 --> 00:21:28,584
‎把那個啤酒漏斗放下，那是收藏品

448
00:21:28,668 --> 00:21:31,918
‎你…那些是我的迷幻蘑菇嗎？
‎馬上給我

449
00:21:32,543 --> 00:21:34,293
‎聞起來像我的大麻呢

450
00:21:34,376 --> 00:21:35,751
‎這是大麻二酚

451
00:21:36,418 --> 00:21:38,043
‎那算了，你自己吃吧！

452
00:21:38,126 --> 00:21:40,126
‎-滾，門口在那裡
‎-丹尼爾，這婊子是誰？

453
00:21:40,209 --> 00:21:41,126
‎小心撞到！

454
00:21:41,209 --> 00:21:44,293
‎-那個“婊子”是我阿姨兼室友
‎-出去，否則後果自負

455
00:21:44,376 --> 00:21:45,209
‎這條牛仔褲不錯

456
00:21:45,293 --> 00:21:46,501
‎畏縮就打兩打

457
00:21:52,959 --> 00:21:54,543
‎謝謝，黛安阿姨

458
00:21:56,084 --> 00:21:57,543
‎小意思，外甥

459
00:22:07,126 --> 00:22:08,793
‎上班前要吃肋排歐姆蛋嗎？

460
00:22:08,876 --> 00:22:10,168
‎好啊，有何不好？

461
00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:17,709
‎昨晚真的跟不上妳呢

462
00:22:17,793 --> 00:22:19,418
‎從未試過一直磨擦

463
00:22:19,501 --> 00:22:22,168
‎好消息，我今天不用做有氧運動了

464
00:22:23,334 --> 00:22:24,584
‎老丹，怎麼樣？

465
00:22:33,168 --> 00:22:35,126
‎老娘風韻猶存

466
00:23:11,209 --> 00:23:14,126
‎字幕翻譯：李瑋樂