["Hoy Te Confieso" by Los Terricolas playing]
[rapid knocking on door]
[Ruy] Idalia?
Hey, Julia's in the drunk tank, and I have to get her out.
Can you watch Andrea?
You have a conjugal visit?
No, no! Damn it! Goddamnit!
Mom, why the hell did you buy a phone if you're never gonna use it?
Call me back.
-Andrea, why are you just standing there? -When is Granny coming?
How come you're not dressed yet, honey? We gotta go!
-[Andrea] What's a drunk tank? -[Ruy] What?
A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
[theme music playing]
I'm getting paid this week.
You have no idea what Julia's gonna put me through.
-You already owe me 8,000, man. -Yes.
-But you get to keep Andrea as collateral. -You expect me to play nanny again?
Yeah, she's had food, she went to the bathroom already.
Put her to work or something, dude. I don't know.
[slams]
Pérez, Pérez…
-Pérez Laborde, Julia. -Pérez.
Oh, okay. Yeah.
Yeah, her bail's been paid.
Okay? I'm her husband, I'm here to pay, so I dunno…
Well, I guess someone beat you to it.
Who, then?
Uh-uh, back away, sir.
She can't possibly have left.
Have you called her?
Can you believe that guy? Some husband!
[woman] Julia what?
[Julia] Pérez.
-Drunk tank Pérez. -[Julia laughing] Yeah.
Five, five, eight, five, four, nine,
five, one.
-Five what? -One.
I'll transfer it to you, okay?
Do you have a show today?
No. We usually train in the mornings because we all work side gigs at night.
Our wrestling matches are three times a week,
but oh yeah, Venom here got herself hired for a private one, right?
Yeah, up north in Tlalne.
[phone ringing]
[muttering]
Is that your man?
No. No.
You should leave that guy.
Take advantage of your freedom, Julia.
-[officer] Your bag. -[woman] Yes.
-[officer] Hold out your arms. -[woman] Of course.
[officer] Go ahead.
Next up, open your bag.
Hold your arms out.
Turn around.
Go ahead.
[Julia] Well…
-I hope you call me. -[woman] I'll call.
[Julia] I'll come see a show. Thanks for everything.
[woman] See ya.
Get in, princess. I'll lock you from out here.
So, did you have a good time at the party, miss?
[Julia scoffs]
Hang on, Augusto! I brought something.
Look, look.
[chuckling]
Let's see.
I can't hold it! I gotta pee!
[Julia] Take your pills and it'll keep working, okay?
Julia?
-Julia? -Give me a second.
What the hell, Jules? I went to get you out.
You know I can't hear you, I'm in the shower.
[Ruy] Julia?
I mean, the timing was awful, I know,
but we'll figure it out, okay?
[Ruy] Jules?
I'm sorry, okay?
Please forgive me, Julia. It's just that things got fucking crazy.
Fucking booze, man. Shit!
[shower running]
[Andrea] Oh, there's another kind of clucking they do!
When they're talking to their chicks.
[making clucking noises]
That's powerful, my love.
Andrea, you better chop the little tomatoes for your mom, all right?
[Andrea] I already finished.
Done already? Perfect. That's great.
[Andrea squeals] This is how bird of prey sound!
-[making bird noises] -[muttering] Yes…
Did you know there are 33 types of clucks?
That is a ton.
Yes! I'm gonna do the one where they talk to their chicks again.
-Andrea, why don't you get out your phone? -[shrieking]
Put on something you can watch.
Put on the video of that YouTuber you like.
I don't like him.
I like that he's a millionaire.
Whatever you like. I'm not picky.
Make sure the sound's low, okay?
[YouTuber] Don't be selfish, share your toys!
Or if you wanna be smart about it, rent them out.
Now when I go shopping, I read the price…
[YouTube blasting]
That's not low!
God.
If you're smart, renting them out is the way to go.
I can't get over how cozy that little room feels.
[both laughing]
Better than waiting all day for a bastard who doesn't bother to show.
He didn't?
I just think they've already turned him gay in there.
No way, that's not it.
I came to visit him several times already, and we did nothing but talk.
Maybe he's getting a bit discouraged
and he doesn't know how to talk to you about it.
-Did they tell you when he's getting out? -We have to wait another year.
And yours?
According to this president, he'll be out in a few months.
We'll see if he's telling the truth.
I hope so.
[Idalia] You know what?
I've kind of enjoyed only getting to see him every 15 days.
I've gotten used to it. Sometimes I think it's better.
[both chuckling]
[Andrea] Why are we having dessert now?
No reason.
-[phone buzzes] -I dunno.
[Andrea reading slowly] "I want to talk
aboot?
About what happened…
last… night."
[faster] "I wanna talk about what happened last night." I'm reading!
Hey, give that back to me!
Mom, do you know what happened last night?
No, my love, I don't know what happened.
-[Andrea] What happened? -Huh?
Something naughty?
[Ruy chuckling nervously] No…
Nothing.
[groaning]
All right. Done?
That was Rebeca.
Yeah, I know who it was.
And I don't want to talk about her.
I already know what happened last night.
Here, let me--
[Julia] Hm?
Are you okay?
Yep, all good.
[Andrea] Did I tell you about Caro's grandma?
[Ruy] Andrea, listen, you gotta rinse the shampoo off properly, seriously.
Squeaky clean?
[Andrea] Okay, Dad.
Oh, hey. What's up, Miss Rebe?
Your message sounded pretty serious, huh?
Um, listen, can we go grab a beer? Whatever you want. Whatever.
Where's Julia? You weren't able to get her out?
She got a month in the slammer.
Dude, it's Saturday. She's "with her mom."
Oh.
Do I detect a little sparkle in your eye?
[chuckles] You're such a pervert.
[Ruy chuckles]
Hello, Mother. Hello, Father.
Can you guys help me with my homework, please?
We don't have time to help you with homework like good parents should.
We're watching our favorite show:
The Bad Parent Hunter.
[chattering on TV continues]
Look what they did to that poor kid who looks like Timmy…
-[doorbell ringing] -Not it!
Not it!
Tag, you're it, Dad.
[TV] It was open.
I tagged you, Dad.
[ringing continues]
[TV] I thought he hunted bad parents.
[man screaming on TV]
-Dad, go get the door. I tagged you. -[Ruy groans] Damn it!
[TV] We're bad parents!
That's right, you rascal!
See you next time on The Bad Parents Hunter!
-[ringing continues] -Thanks.
-[Ruy] Coming. -[TV] You don't wanna miss it!
[Ruy] Who is it?
[man] Speedy Delivery!
-[Ruy] I didn't order anything. -Oh, no? I got it here.
"One Speedy Delivery for Miss Julia."
[phone buzzes]
-Is that so? -Yeah.
Oh! They just changed the address now. Excuse me!
Sorry about that.
[motorbike revving]
Oh, you… [grunts]
[stereo blasting music]
[music cuts out]
Idalia, I'll be back in 20 minutes. Keep an eye on Andrea.
-Evening, man. -Evening, sir. How are you doing?
-Good. It's so nice out. -Here's your order.
Can you confirm the delivery, please?
Perfect. Thanks a lot. Have a great night.
[Fausto] Enjoy your night.
[Ruy] Hey!
-Was that order for Julia, man? -I don't know, man. I gotta go!
I just saw you! Julia Pérez!
Your Speedy Delivery, madame.
[both chuckling]
[Julia] Such a nerd.
-Let's see. -Oh, already?
[Julia] Mm-hmm.
[kissing]
[breathing heavily]
[both giggling]
[Fausto] Come on.
[Julia moans] Wait.
[Fausto] What?
[Julia giggles]
"Saturdays with Grandma," eh? You lying piece of shit.
[moaning]
Oh, Fausto!
[jiggling handle]
Answer the fucking doorbell. Answer, you motherfuckers!
[line buzzing]
Answer, you fucking… Fuck you!
[both moaning]
Motherfucking bitch!
Motherfucking…
[groans]
See ya, Julia.
[grunts]
[car alarm blaring]
[grunting]
[man] Hey, asshole!
What the hell? That's my car!
-Who cares? -What? That's it, I'm coming for you!
Bring it on, fucker!
[both moaning]
-Oh, yeah! -I'm close!
Don't you love it?
[moaning intensely]
[Fausto moans loudly]
[both continue moaning]
[car alarm continues]
-[neighbor shouting] -[Ruy] I didn't even do anything--
[birds chirping]
[whispering] Ruy? Ruy.
Shh! One, two, three.
[singing in Spanish] Happy birthday… to you
[both] Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Andrea
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Andrea
Happy birthday
To you
-Good morning. -Good morning, beautiful.
Good morning. Happy birthday!
-Have you got it? -Yeah, I got it. Watch your end.
You're gonna get hit today, but you can handle it.
-All right, bath time! Or no party! -[Andrea] No way!
You can have a shower with me, that's your present.
[Julia] Hi! Thank you for coming!
[dance music playing]
Want to get your face painted?
-Yes! -Awesome! Come with me over here!
Hey! Gorgeous colors, my love!
You look so beautiful!
Yeah, thank you.
-Hi, guys! How are you? -The door was wide open.
-Put me down, Julia! -Okay, okay.
-It's super dangerous, you know. -How are you, Majo?
What?
I parked my car just out front. You sure it's safe there?
[scoffs] What do you mean? Of course it's safe. I park there daily.
-Good, because it seemed sketchy. -Is Dad coming?
-No, he went to Houston. -Oh, I see.
He told me he'd visit you and bring a souvenir.
[Ruy] What's the matter, Ma?
You're acting crazy, honey.
You can't push a bunch of kids out of the way because you want to be first.
Well, it's my party too, you know.
Hey, go say hi to Majo and her little monsters.
Okay. Mom, I'm gonna go change the music.
[dance music playing]
And now we have three beautiful dolls.
No one in the world has ever touched them or brushed their hair.
But these aren't regular dolls,
because they're magic dolls that can do anything you desire.
We also have this lovely bear.
He knows how to talk, and he's very intelligent.
Talk, bear.
[muffled growling]
We'll start with the dolls on the count of three.
And-a-one, and-a-two, and-a-three.
-Ten! -Eleven!
-Eleven pesos, anyone else? -[boy] Eleven-fifty!
Eleven-fifty, going once…
Hey, where are the candles?
[Ruy] They didn't come with the cake.
That was your job. I went and got the cake.
They sell them at the shop, right there.
Did you really not get any?
"Right there"? I didn't see, because it was your responsibility.
Hey, tone it down, Apocalypse Now.
I'll just have some delivered.
Speedy Delivery? Now?
Yeah, of course.
Are you drunk?
You really think I'd destroy Andrea's party? No way.
How much longer 'til the cake? We've gotta go.
[all singing in Spanish] ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday… to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday, Andrea ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
Sweetheart, you're not supposed to lock the door.
Open up, my love.
Everyone went home.
But your grandma is still here.
Your cousin didn't think about how blowing out your candles would make you feel.
It's very hard when there are so many scumbags in your mother's family.
Yeah, and you've gotta learn how to forgive them,
because even when their behavior is disgusting,
they'll always be family.
[Andrea] Are you guys mad at me?
-No, no, no, no. -Of course not, my love, no.
Would you like to be alone?
[Andrea] Yes… for a little.
That's fine.
We'll respect your space,
but it's time for you to unlock the door now.
[Andrea] Can I use the iPad?
Yes.
Can I have a piece of cake?
Yes.
[lock clicks]
[Andrea] I did it.
That was such a lovely party.
And try not to worry too much. They're just being kids.
Yes, I know.
Thank you so much for everything.
Well, she's my granddaughter!
How's your mom doing these days?
-[Julia] She's all right. -Have you seen her lately?
[Julia] Yesterday. Yeah. -[mother] Great you spend time with her.
Hey, charge it. She's leaving.
-Mom, your car. Let's go. -[Julia] Thanks again so much,
We'll see each other soon.
[mother] Yes, take care. Good night.
Come on.
Honey, you sure you're okay? You've been moping around all night.
-You know you can talk to me. -I'm fine.
-You sure? -Yes.
-You're a fucking hypocrite. -What's your problem?
You and the fucking dentist? You're exactly like your father!
-I'm nothing like my father. -Bullshit, you liar! Exactly like him.
Fucking dentist? Gross! It's repulsive--
So what if I'm fucking him, who cares? You and I are completely fucking through.
It's like fucking a child molester.
I can't believe you! How many women did you sleep with after we got married?
-For God's sake, no! -How dare you come after me!
Not the same. They didn't mean anything.
-This is Andrea's fucking dentist! -[growls] Keep it down!
-I do not owe you an explanation. -I've been keeping up appearances--
-You can't seem to keep anything else up. -I can't because you won't give it up.
-Wanna know why? You're terrible in bed. -You're a fucking whore.
Wow!
"A fucking whore."
Who the hell are you?
And now who sounds like my father?
Why the fuck are you still in my house?
It's been months since you said you'd move out.
[Ruy] I'm staying in this house.
You can go to your fucking apartment, you bitch.
Or should I call it your little fucking whorehouse!
[Julia] My father gave me that apartment and I can do whatever I want with it.
Tomorrow you're out of here.
[gate slams]
["Hurt" playing]
♪ I hurt myself today ♪
♪ To see if I still feel ♪
♪ I focus on the pain ♪
♪ The only thing that's real ♪
♪ The needle tears a hole ♪
♪ The old familiar sting ♪
♪ Try to kill it all away ♪
♪ But I remember everything ♪
Hello?
♪ What have I become? ♪
♪ My sweetest friend ♪
♪ Everyone I know ♪
♪ Goes away in the end ♪
♪ And you can have it all ♪
♪ My empire of dirt ♪
♪ I will let you down ♪
-[clatters] -♪ I will make you hurt… ♪
Hey, Xico, how are you? So I'm on the way to my mom's house,
but I wanted to tell you that we got the job.
So I'll speak to you tomorrow.
-[gasps] -[tires screech]
Holy shit!
Mom, what are you doing? Are you okay?
♪ I wear my crown and sit ♪
♪ On my liar's chair ♪
♪ Full of broken thoughts ♪
♪ I cannot repair ♪
♪ Beneath the stain of time ♪
♪ The feeling disappears ♪
♪ You are someone else ♪
♪ And I'm still right here ♪
♪ What have I become ♪
♪ My sweetest friend ♪
♪ Everyone I know goes away ♪