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‪NETFLIX 原創影集

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‪生活緊張刺激、姊姊麻煩無邊
‪杜奇狗狗生活富足

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‪三重分身、變成暴龍
‪登上王位、超級強尼

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‪你永不知道未來發展
‪因為這就是阿尼正傳

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{\an8}‪劇名：怪物殺手強尼

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{\an8}‪我是漢克主播曼

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{\an8}‪為您實地報導清晨在市中心

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{\an8}‪發生一起駭人而神祕的破壞事件

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{\an8}‪駭人是因為你看看這個洞的大小！

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{\an8}‪神祕是因為只有四千條糖果棒

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{\an8}‪和一張巨型懶骨頭椅不見了

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{\an8}‪怎麼回事？

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{\an8}‪你昨晚是不是在實驗室做過什麼

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{\an8}‪然後為了糖果和懶骨頭椅
‪把全市弄得亂七八糟？

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{\an8}‪是就好了！

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{\an8}‪豬肚市遭到破壞
‪竟然不是我們搞的鬼

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{\an8}‪而最好的是

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{\an8}‪我不必去收拾這個巨大的爛攤子

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{\an8}‪我們需要強尼去收拾巨大的爛攤子

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‪我們說的強尼是強尼X

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‪一切要從昨天開始

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‪當時將軍提出一個計畫…

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‪未來士兵

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‪就像在電影裡看到的那樣所向無敵

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‪這不只是電影情節，而是真實情況！

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‪但後來我們的科學家
‪向我們展示演算法模擬分析

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‪超級士兵的基因一旦進入身體

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‪下半身的肌肉質量幾乎會馬上增加

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‪直到最後…

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‪慘了

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‪我們力勸將軍取消計畫
‪因為接下來的模擬分析接連失敗

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‪有一個的屁股超大

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‪有一個變成野獸一般，想要占領世界

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‪歷史又重演…

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‪別這樣，只是皮外傷而已！

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‪當時我們告訴將軍

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‪基地裡沒人會自願參加超級士兵計劃

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‪然後呢？

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‪最糟的部分來了

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‪我給他們看看根本沒什麼好怕

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{\an8}‪（51.1區）

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‪所以是將軍破壞豬肚市

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‪因為只有糖果

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‪能供給他大量卡路里
‪為他的龐大身軀提供動力

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‪如果我們不趕快阻止他
‪他可能會變成

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‪想要占領世界的超邪惡野獸

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‪但其實我們袖手旁觀，他也會被擊敗

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‪太好了！怎麼會這樣？

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‪根據模擬分析

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‪如果我們四小時內不阻止他

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‪他…

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‪我們得去救他

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‪我們在豬肚森林測量到大量輻射

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‪我們認為很可能是將軍

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‪所以你要我們打敗史上最強大的士兵

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‪卻因為他是將軍
‪而不能狠狠擊敗他？

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‪-沒錯
‪-別這樣，我們很喜歡將軍

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‪而且我們擁有變種力量
‪我們絕對可以恰到好處地擊敗他

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‪他在三個小時內都不會變得超級邪惡

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‪而且之後再過一個小時，他才會爆炸

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‪好！

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‪超級士兵不可能打敗超級…

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‪等等，你可以飛

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‪對了，快上來，強尼！

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‪好，我們去找將軍，然後…

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‪-找到他了
‪-環境很不錯

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‪源源不絕的巧克力
‪和在叢林中軟綿綿的寶座？

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‪太完美了

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‪但我們得馬上救他
‪不然那隻熊會吃掉他

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‪好，那顯然不是問題

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‪打擾你，將軍，但你有生命危險

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‪我們必須帶你回51.1區
‪讓你回復原狀

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‪還有別忘了
‪我們的變種力量是無敵的！

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‪如果你反抗，我們會跟你戰鬥到底

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‪哎呀，我真難過

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‪變身成超級士兵的將軍好像被打屁股

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‪好

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‪我們顯然需要更厲害的東西
‪去打敗野獸將軍

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‪一根木樁呢？

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‪強尼，他不是吸血鬼

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‪銀色的東西

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‪那是用來對付狼人的

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‪提升變種能力

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‪例如超級閃電手可以嗎？

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‪可能有用

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‪將軍，我們要再次強調
‪我們無意傷害你

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‪但請馬上跟我們走

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‪不然…

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‪不然什麼？

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‪不然就這個！

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‪聽起來情況很不妙

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‪我希望將軍恢復正常後
‪不會生我們氣

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‪我去啟動飛機

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‪好，我們沒時間了

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‪一定有變種能力可以阻止野獸將軍

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‪說一句很有型的台詞
‪召喚出超巨型手臂怎麼樣？

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‪也給我一雙！

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‪值得一試

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‪雷霆手臂，集結！

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‪手臂太大了吧？

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‪送我們回實驗室吧

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‪我們還有一個機會

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‪如果你這次不阻止他

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‪他的變種程度將達到
‪統治世界的級數！

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‪那我猜強尼X必須達到

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‪超級英雄拯救世界的級數

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‪我們明白，誰會想離開這個好地方？

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‪老實說，我們超級妒忌…

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‪-他的眼睛變紅了
‪-但我們現在可以隱形了！

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‪耶！隱形強尼X
‪和超級杜奇好像會贏！

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‪不是

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‪等等，他要去哪？

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{\an8}‪漢克主播曼報導一則新聞快訊

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{\an8}‪一頭吃巧克力的半人半獸
‪剛剛占領51.1區了！

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‪好了

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‪他已經到達邪惡野獸統治世界的階段

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{\an8}‪現在我擁有軍隊的武器庫

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{\an8}‪所有人都要向我宣誓效忠

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{\an8}‪你們還有一小時！

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{\an8}‪（占領世界）

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‪糟糕！他在發射室！

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‪但他一小時後也不能發射任何東西

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‪因為再說一遍，他半小時後就會爆炸

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‪這樣就令人安心了

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‪應該是

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‪慢著，別告訴我你真的打算

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‪等待他爆炸吧？

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‪強尼，我們什麼都試過了
‪其實我是說你

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‪而且他想要占領世界，所以…

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‪其實我們還可嘗試一個辦法

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‪快點，以免他聽到我們說話

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‪強尼

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‪就算你變成超級士兵後
‪有能力阻止他

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‪但你就會在四小時後成為大壞蛋
‪我們現在必須停止

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‪不，因為這次由我兩個姊姊負責操控

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‪他只有身體會像將軍那樣
‪但思想卻不會

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‪我們簡直是天才

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‪投降吧！

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‪我的聲音聽起來很好笑，但很酷！

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‪超酷

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‪記住，強尼，別太用力揍他！

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‪對

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‪但現在你只有30秒阻止他
‪不然他就會爆炸！

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‪知道了

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‪你必須停下來，不然你會爆炸！

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‪沒有人能阻止超級士兵

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‪但強尼你是超級士兵
‪同時也是強尼X

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‪沒錯！

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‪快點，強尼！

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‪雷霆手臂，集結！

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‪我是隱形的，馬上來！

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‪各位，我很抱歉變成野獸般的大壞蛋

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‪也謝謝強尼打敗我，救了我一命

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‪好，大塊頭弟弟，輪到你了

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‪什麼？但我還有三小時才會變壞蛋

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‪對，那又怎樣？

157
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‪這裡的環境真棒

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‪完美！我還剩多少時間？

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‪你還有一小時

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‪太好了

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‪別吼叫，我就給你吃一點

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‪（紀念施萊辛格）

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‪字幕翻譯：李恒聰