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ORIGINALNA NETFLIXOVA SERIJA
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Akcija i sestrice
Dukey za uživanje
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Kloniranje, T-rex
Prijestolje i Johnny X
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Nikad ne znaš kakva vijest
Jer to je J-J-J-Johnny Test!
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{\an8}JOHNNY, UBOJICA ČUDOVIŠTA
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{\an8}Hank Voditelj,
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{\an8}javlja o čudovišnom,
tajanstvenom razaranju
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{\an8}koje se rano dogodilo u gradu.
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{\an8}Ćudovišno je jer gledajte tu rupu!
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{\an8}A tajanstveno jer su ukrali
samo 4000 čokoladica
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{\an8}i veliku vreću za sjedenje.
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{\an8}Što ima?
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{\an8}Jesi li sinoć bio u labosu
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{\an8}pa ukrao čokolade i vreću za sjedenje?
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{\an8}Da bar!
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{\an8}Ne mogu vjerovati
da nismo krive za razaranje.
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{\an8}A najbolje je
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{\an8}što neću ja morati sve to čistiti.
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{\an8}Trebamo Johnnyja da počisti nered.
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Kad kažemo Johnny, mislimo Johnny X.
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Sve je počelo jučer,
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kad je general predstavio plan za…
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Vojnik budućnosti!
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Bit će nezaustavljiv, kao oni u filmu!
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Ali to neće biti film, nego stvarnost!
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Znanstvenici su nam pokazali
algoritamsku simulaciju.
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Kad u tijelo ubace DNK supervojnika,
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mišićna masa
u donjem dijelu tijela odmah raste
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i na kraju dobijemo…
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Ajme.
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Pokušali smo ga odgovoriti
jer su sve simulacije bile loše.
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U jednoj je dobio golemu guzu.
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U drugoj postao zvijer
koja želi zavladati svijetom.
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I opet…
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Ma dajte, pa to je ozljedica.
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Tad smo generalu rekli
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da se nitko neće
dobrovoljno javiti za taj program.
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A tad?
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Ono najgore.
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Pokazat ću im da nije strašno.
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Dakle, general je uništio grad.
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Samo slatkiši
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mogu mu dati dovoljno kalorija
dok je tako masivan.
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Ako ga ne zaustavimo,
može postati superzlikovac
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i pokušati osvojiti svijet.
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Možemo ga zaustaviti
tako da ništa ne učinimo.
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Super! Kako to?
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Sudeći po simulaciji,
ako ga ne zaustavimo za 4 h,
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on će…
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Moramo ga spasiti.
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Očitavamo jaku radijaciju
u šumi kraj Porkbellyja.
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Možda je general.
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Želite da zgazimo
najjačeg vojnika u povijesti,
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ali ne previše jer je to general?
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-Da.
-Da. Volimo generala.
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Ovim mutantskim moćima
zgazit ćemo ga koliko treba.
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Neće biti super zao još tri sata.
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I neće eksplodirati još 1 h poslije.
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Da!
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Supervojnik ne može pobijediti super…
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Čekaj, ti letiš.
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Ah, da! Zajaši!
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Nađimo generala, a onda…
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-Našli smo ga.
-Fino mu je.
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Hrpa čokolade i mekani tron usred prirode?
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Savršenstvo!
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Ali moramo ga spasiti od medvjeda.
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To očito nije problem.
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Oprostite, ali u opasnosti ste.
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Vraćamo vas u Area 51,1
da se vratite na staro.
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Ništa ne može pobijediti
našu zajedničku snagu!
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Borit ćemo se budete li se opirali.
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Žao mi je.
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Zvuči kao da general dobiva po nosu.
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Dobro.
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Trebamo nešto jače
kako bismo ga pobijedili.
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Možda drveni kolac?
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Johnny, on nije vampir.
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Nešto srebrno.
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To je za vukodlake.
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Možda pojačanje mutantskih moći.
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Munje iz ruku?
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To bi pomoglo.
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Generale, ponavljamo
da vam ne želimo ništa nažao.
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Ali pođite s nama,
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inače…
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Inače što?
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Inače ovo!
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To ne zvuči zabavno.
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Nadam se da se general
poslije neće ljutiti na nas.
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Pokrenut ću avion.
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Istječe nam vrijeme.
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Mora postojati neka moć
koja može zaustaviti generala.
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Goleme ruke
koje aktiviramo kulerskom frazom.
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I meni to!
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Vrijedi pokušati.
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Razorne ruke rastite!
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Prevelike ruke, ha?
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Vratite nas u labos.
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Imamo još jedan pokušaj.
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Ako ga ne zaustavite,
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postat će zao i htjeti zavladati svijetom!
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Onda Johnny X
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mora spasiti svijet kao superjunak!
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Shvaćamo. Tko bi htio otići od toga?
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Iskreno, totalno smo ljubomorni i…
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-Oči su mu pocrvenjele.
-Sad možemo biti nevidljivi.
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Kao da nevidljivi Johnny X
i Superdukey pobjeđuju.
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Ne.
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Kamo će on?
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{\an8}Ovdje Hank Voditelj s novostima.
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{\an8}Areu 51,1 zauzelo je čudovište
koje proždire čokoladu!
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Da.
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Ušao je u zlu fazu i želi osvojiti svijet.
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{\an8}Sad kad imam vojni arsenal,
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{\an8}morate mi prisegnuti na vjernost.
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{\an8}Imate jedan sat!
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{\an8}OSVAJANJE SVIJETA
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U sobi za lansiranje je!
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Ništa neće lansirati za jedan sat
jer će eksplodirati za pola sata.
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To nas onda umiruje.
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Valjda.
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Nećete valjda zbilja čekati da eksplodira?
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Mi smo sve pokušali. Pod mi mislim ti.
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A on pokušava osvojiti svijet. Zato…
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Nismo sve pokušali.
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Brže, dok još nije čuo.
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Johnny,
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ako ga zaustaviš
pretvaranjem u supervojnika…
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Ti ćeš postati zao za 4 h
pa ćemo tebe morati zaustaviti.
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Ne, jer sad moje sestre to nadziru.
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Tijelo će mu postati super
kao generalovo, ali ne i um.
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Baš smo genijalne!
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Predaj se!
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Glas mi zvuči čudno, ali fora.
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Jako fora.
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Nemoj ga previše ozlijediti!
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Aha.
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Imaš samo 30 sekunda,
inače će eksplodirati!
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Jasno.
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Stanite, inače ćete eksplodirati!
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Ništa ne može zaustaviti supervojnika!
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Ali ti si ujedno supervojnik i Johnny X.
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Da!
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Brzo, Johnny!
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Razorne ruke rastite!
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Bio sam nevidljiv. Sad!
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Ispričavam se svima
što sam postao čudovište.
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Johnny, hvala što si me spasio
tako što si me istukao.
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A sad, golemi mali brate,
ti ideš pod kupolu.
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Imam još tri sata
prije nego što postanem zao!
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Pa?
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Ovo je zbilja super.
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Savršenstvo. Koliko još vremena imam?
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Još jedan sat!
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Super!
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Ne reži pa ću i tebi dati.
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Prijevod titlova: Ivan Zorić