Hank Anchorman here,
reporting on the monstrous and mysterious destruction
that happened downtown in the early morning hours.
Monstrous, because look at the size of that hole!
And mysterious, because all that was taken was 4,000 candy bars,
and one of those oversized bean bag chairs.
Hey, what's going on?
Did you do something in the lab last night,
then trash the town for candy and a giant bean bag chair?
I wish!
Huh. I can't believe the town got destroyed,
and it wasn't our fault.
And the best part is,
I don't have to be the one to clean up that huge mess.
Hey, we need Johnny to clean up a huge mess.
And by Johnny, we mean Johnny X.
It all started yesterday, when The General presented his plans for…
The Soldier of the Future!
Which will be unstoppable, like you see in the movies,
only it won't be a movie, it will be real life!
But then our scientists
presented us with an algorithmic simulation…
Once the Super-Soldier DNA is released into your body,
the muscle mass in your lower regions will grow almost immediately,
eventually working its way up to…
Oh, dear.
We urged The General to scrap the project
after even more simulations failed.
One where you get a huge butt…
One that turns you into a beast-thing
that wants to take over the world…
And, again…
Oh, come on. That's just a flesh wound!
That's when we told The General
nobody on the base would volunteer for the Super Soldier program.
Then what happened?
The worst part.
Ha! I'll show them there's nothing to be afraid of.
So, it was The General that destroyed the town.
And candy is the only thing
that can provide a massive calorie intake to power his massive state.
And if we don't stop him soon,
he could become an evil villain beast that tries to take over the world.
However, he can, technically, be defeated by doing nothing.
Great! How does that happen?
Well, according to the simulation,
if we don't stop him in four hours, he…
Yeah, we gotta save him.
We've picked up a large radioactive reading
in the Porkbelly Forest.
We think it might be The General.
So, you need us to crush the biggest and strongest soldier in history,
but not crush him too much, 'cause it's The General?
Correct.
Come on, we love The General.
And, with our mutant powers, we can totally crush him just enough.
And he doesn't get super evil for another three hours.
And he doesn't blow up until an hour after that.
Right!
There's no way a Super Soldier can beat a super--
Wait, you can fly.
Oh, right. Hop on, Johnny!
OK, let's just find The General, and then--
-Found him. -Nice setup.
Endless chocolate and a squishy throne in the middle of nature?
Hm. It's perfection.
But now we have to save him before that bear gets him first.
-OK, that's clearly not a problem.
Sorry, General, but your life is in danger…
and we have to bring you to Area 51.1 and change you back.
And, don't forget, nothing can beat our mutant powers!
And if you resist, we will battle you.
Oh, man, I feel bad.
It sounds like The General is getting his Super Soldier butt kicked.
Uh-oh.
OK… we're clearly going to need something stronger
to defeat the Beast-General.
What about a wooden stake?
Johnny, he's not a vampire.
Ooh! Something silver.
That's for werewolves.
Well, what about a mutant power upgrade
like super lightning hands?
That could work.
Uh, General,
we want to stress again
that we mean you no harm.
But come with us now, or else.
Or else what?
Or else… this!
That does not sound fun.
Uh, I hope The General won't be mad at us when he's the normal General again.
I'll start the plane.
-OK. We're running out of time.
There's got to be some mutant power that can stop the Beast-General.
What about giant massive arms that we can summon with a cool phrase?
Ooh, and a pair for me, too!
It's worth a shot.
Thunder Arms… amass!
Huh.
Arms were too big, huh?
Just get us back to the lab.
We've got one more shot.
If you don't stop him this time,
his mutation will reach "evil villain take over the world" levels!
Then I guess Johnny X has to reach
"super hero save the world" levels.
Look, we get it.
Who would want to leave this sweet setup?
Frankly, we are super jealous, and--
Uh-oh, his eyes have turned red.
But we can now turn… invisible!
Yes! Sounds like Inviso-Johnny X and Super Dukey are winning!
Nope.
Wait, where's he going?
Hank Anchorman here with a newsflash update.
Area 51.1 has just been taken over by a chocolate-eating Beast-Man Thing!
Yup, he's reached the "evil beast taking over the world" stage.
Now that I have Army's arsenal,
all are to swear their allegiance to me.
You have one hour!
Oh, no, he's in the launch room!
But he's not gonna launch anything in an hour,
'cause again, he blows up in half an hour.
Well, that's reassuring, I guess.
Wait, don't tell me you're actually considering
just waiting for him to blow up?
Johnny, we've tried everything, and by we, I mean you.
And he is trying to take over the world, so…
Actually, we haven't tried everything.
Hurry, before he hears us.
Johnny, even if turning into a Super Soldier
gives you the power to stop him…
It's you who now becomes evil in four hours
that we now have to stop.
No, because my sisters are at the controls this time.
And only his body will become super like The General,
but not his mind.
We're such geniuses.
Surrender!
Ooh, my voice sounds funny.
But cool! Very cool.
Remember, Johnny, don't hurt him too bad!
Oh, right.
But you now only have 30 seconds to stop him, or he blows up!
Got it.
You… have to stop, or you… are going to blow up!
Nothing can stop Super Soldier!
But Johnny, you're a Super Soldier and Johnny X.
Oh, yeah!
Hurry, Johnny!
Thunder Arms, amass!
I was invisible. Now!
Uh, apologies, everyone, for me being a Beast-thing,
and, uh, thank you, Johnny, for saving me by kicking my butt.
OK, little massive brother, your turn in the dome.
What? But I've still got three hours before I turn evil.
Yeah, so?
Mm-mm! Oh, this really is a great setup.
Perfection!
How much time I got left?
You have another hour.
Cool.
Uh-uh! Stop roaring, and I'll give you some.