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[announcer] Brought to you
by TumTum GumGums. Yum.
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Not a medical product.
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[yawns]
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Kiff, where's
my leftover pizza slice?
5
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I don't know. Ask Dad.
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I didn't eat no slice,
I don't think.
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Kiff, get the wig.
8
00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:22,022
Ah, jeez. Okay.
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00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,399
Did you say, "wig"?
What's happening?
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00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:26,610
Barry, when two members of
our family have a disagreement
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00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,320
that can't be easily resolved,
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the matter is taken to...
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Family Court.
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It's a system we created
when Kiff was a toddler
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and cut all of Martin's jeans
into jorts.
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The third Chatterley acts
as the judge and wears...
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This.
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[laughs and snorts]
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How did I not know
about Chatterley Family Court?
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I want in. Beryl, I would be
honored to serve as your lawyer.
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- Done.
- Yes.
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It's one slice of pizza.
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Do we even need to have
Family Court?
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- [all] Yes!
- Aren't we making too big a deal
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- out of this?
- [all] No!
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But Dad doesn't deserve
to be on trial for this.
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Hey-o, think we just found
Martin's lawyer.
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Now we just need a judge.
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Oh, here's one?
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♪ My name is Judegy
And I'm a judge ♪
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♪ And that's a fact
On which I will not budge ♪
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♪ I'll come to your house
Or your place of work ♪
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♪ And I'll decide
On who's being the jerk ♪
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- ♪ My name is Judegy ♪
- ♪ Need someone to judge you ♪
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- ♪ My name is Judegy ♪
- ♪ Need a legal breakthrough ♪
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♪ There's a dance
I'd like to show you ♪
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♪ And it's easy to do ♪
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♪ Anyone can do it, even you ♪
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♪ You take your hand
Or your paw ♪
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- ♪ Or even your hoof ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
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♪ Bring it down hard ♪
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[both]
♪ It's the gavel groove ♪
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[Judegy]
♪ Do it ♪
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[assistant]
♪ You should do it ♪
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[Judegy]
♪ Do the gavel groove, yeah ♪
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♪ Do it with me ♪
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♪ Gavel groove ♪
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♪ Bring it down ♪
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♪ Yeah, gavel it ♪
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♪ Do you swear
To tell the truth? ♪
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♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
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♪ Objection overruled ♪
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♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
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♪ Call me ♪
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Call me on 555-01-JUDEGY.
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That's 555-01-JUDEGEY.
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- [air horns blow]
- [Judegy] Call me.
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00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:02,039
555-01-JUDEGY.
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♪ Gavel groove ♪
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[Judegy]
Call me.
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- [all gasp]
- What? How did you--
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Court is now in session.
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I will now hear the lawyers'
opening statements.
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Oh, uh, okay.
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I mean, like,
this case is no big deal.
66
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He says he didn't do it,
so, you know...
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That it? Ha! Prosecution?
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Is he wearing suspenders?
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[dramatic music playing]
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Pizza receipt
signed by Martin.
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An "I wanna eatza
all the pizza" T-shirt
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owned by Martin.
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The empty trash cans
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placed out front at 6:00 a.m.
this morning by Martin,
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proving he was the first
Chatterley awake this morning.
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My friends,
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this is not a slice of evidence.
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This is the whole ding-dang pie.
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We are asking that Martin
receive a one-month pizza ban.
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[gasps]
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Judge, may I request a recess?
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[dramatic music playing]
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[Kiff, sighing]
It was you, Kiff.
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You ate the slice.
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You ate it all, of course.
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Now just take the crust
downstairs, and confess,
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and it'll all be over.
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[gulps]
Huh. Okay.
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Guess I'm doubling down.
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I can do this.
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All I have to do
is win Dad's case,
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and everybody
will forget about it.
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What's the harm?
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- [stomach rumbles]
- Hush.
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Now the real work begins.
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[clears throat]
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00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,768
Can anyone in the court
identify this object?
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00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:48,770
What are you doing
with my helmet?
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00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,355
Beryl's helmet, hmm.
100
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:51,690
I wonder if Beryl wouldn't mind
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telling the court
what this helmet is for.
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I sleepwalk.
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Usually I just walk around.
Other times, I...
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[inhales and sighs]
...sleep-compete
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in back-alley
Rollerblading competitions.
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00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,577
I wear a helmet to bed,
just in case.
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00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:06,163
Correct! Beryl sleepwalks.
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00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:07,747
And if she's capable
of sleepwalking
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00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:09,791
and sleep-blading,
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who's to say she's not capable
of sleep pizza-eating?
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What if Beryl herself
ate the slice last night
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while dreaming about,
say, eating a triangle?
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- Oh, come on!
- Objection, Your Honor.
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My client is not on trial.
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Are there any funny videos
of the Rollerblading?
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[objects crashing]
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I call Grandma Rose
to the stand.
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My little gumdrop Marty
is the perfect son.
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I don't exactly know
what a pizza crime is,
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but he's never
done anything wrong, ever.
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Just look at that little face.
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Well, can't argue with that.
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Your witness, Barry.
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So Grandpa Tom ordered you
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a 50-inch brambleberry pie
for your last birthday.
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You had a bite, then got pulled
away to judge the limbo contest.
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Do you remember what happened
to the rest of the pie?
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Huh!
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Now that you mention it...
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Marty polished off
the whole thing.
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He does eat people's leftovers.
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I raised a grubby slice thief!
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Throw the book at him, Judge!
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[stomach rumbles]
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Want a TumTum GumGum, champ?
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Next witness.
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I was working the phone
last night at Daryl H. Pizza
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when Mr. C called in.
139
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Now, after I take orders,
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I usually like to banter
a little bit,
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so I asked if it was pizza night
for the whole family.
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Then he...
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Go on, darling.
He can't hurt you here.
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He said, "They'll get a slice
if they're lucky."
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And he cackled.
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Oh, I see.
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Now, this is a lot to ask,
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00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:03,321
but could you do an impression
of that cackle?
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[evil cackle]
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- I was joking! Joking!
- [gavel bangs]
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You all know me.
I'm named after a hairstyle.
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I've got an airtight alibi
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that will totally clear
my guy Martin's name.
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I move that this witness
be removed from the courtroom
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and his testimony
stricken from the record!
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- Done.
- [gavel bangs]
157
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Dad, no!
Without him, we've got nothing!
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I don't like that guy.
159
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,058
Isn't it true, Martin,
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that you once ate fudge
out of the trash?
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- [gavel bangs]
- Sometimes cold pizza
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tastes even better.
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- Am I wrong?
- [gavel bangs]
164
00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:40,984
- I never touched that cannoli!
- [gavel bangs]
165
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I've actually been thinking
about getting highlights.
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The world is watching,
Judge Judegy.
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If we let them come for our
pizza slices, what's next?
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They gonna come for our freedom!
Case closed!
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[gavel bangs]
170
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,915
[pen clicking]
171
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,461
Okay, I think
we've heard plenty.
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00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:00,503
I'm ready to wrap this thing up.
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00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:01,838
Wait! I--
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00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:03,548
I need a five-minute recess
175
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:04,799
to speak with the prosecution.
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00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:05,884
All right, but make it quick.
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00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:08,928
Barry, look, off the record.
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00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:11,139
I know my dad is innocent.
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00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:13,475
He can't go down for this.
It's not right.
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00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,602
Oh, Kiff, lawyer to lawyer,
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00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,187
you should know
we're no longer going
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00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,980
for a month-long pizza ban.
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00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:21,983
Beryl and I think we can get
a lifetime sentence.
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00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,777
[ominous music playing]
185
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You want to give my dad
a lifetime ban on pizza?
186
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,865
Barry, that's so cruel
and unusual.
187
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,408
Your best option at this point
188
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,494
is to get your client
to plead guilty.
189
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:34,913
Maybe Judegy will go
a little easier on him.
190
00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:38,083
Unless there's something else?
191
00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:40,877
Some key information
you've been holding on to
192
00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:43,630
that could clear his name, hmm?
193
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,632
[stomach rumbles]
194
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,258
- No.
- [toilet flushes]
195
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,929
[sighs]
196
00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:53,973
Dad, there's a way out
of this whole mess.
197
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,934
What is it?
198
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:58,645
- You should plead guilty.
- What? Why?
199
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,230
It'll make the judge
go easy on you.
200
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:02,857
We need to avoid
a harsh sentence at this point.
201
00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:05,068
Then this will all be over,
and it'll be like no one
202
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:07,153
ever ate Mom's slice
to begin with.
203
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,823
But Kiff, I-I didn't do it.
204
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,699
I'm thinking of what's best
for you, Dad.
205
00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:13,201
It'll all be over soon.
206
00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:15,662
Okay. I trust you, Kiff.
207
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:22,127
[clears throat]
208
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:26,214
My client Martin
has decided to plead guilty.
209
00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:28,591
- [all gasp]
- Dang.
210
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:30,051
[indistinct chattering]
211
00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:31,719
Where did I go wrong?
212
00:08:31,719 --> 00:08:33,054
I bet you thought
I'd go easy on you
213
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:34,514
if you confessed, huh?
214
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,765
Well, I won't.
215
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,142
You're gonna get it, boy-o.
216
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:38,977
[all] Don't go easy on him!
217
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,854
Put the ban
that's cheesy on him!
218
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:44,441
I sentence Martin Chatterley
to a lifetime of no pizza.
219
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,109
And what the heck,
no more popcorn either.
220
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:47,610
I'm feeling spicy.
221
00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:53,032
[slow motion] No!
222
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:56,453
[dramatic music playing]
223
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:04,627
[sad violin music playing]
224
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,007
Stop!
225
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,594
[fly buzzing]
226
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,891
The person who deserves
a lifetime pizza ban...
227
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,684
is me.
228
00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:22,145
I ate Beryl's leftover slice.
229
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:24,314
And it was good, too.
230
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,024
But then when Mom
asked me about it,
231
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:28,151
I realized what I'd done,
and I panicked.
232
00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:29,861
So I lied.
233
00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:32,906
I'm so, so sorry.
234
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:35,074
I never meant for it
to go this far.
235
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,868
So go ahead.
236
00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:39,454
Do angry court murmuring
about me now.
237
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:42,457
[Beryl] Finally.
238
00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:45,877
But...
239
00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,504
We know you ate the slice, Kiff.
240
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:49,214
When I came over earlier,
241
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:51,299
you answered the door
with the slice in your hand.
242
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:52,675
And look,
there's bits of pepperoni
243
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:54,344
still stuck in your fur.
244
00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:57,138
We orchestrated this whole trial
to get you to confess.
245
00:09:57,138 --> 00:10:00,099
We just really thought
you'd break way before this.
246
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:03,061
But Judge Judegy. Why would
a real judge take a whole day
247
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,729
to go along
with this charade?
248
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:06,147
I'm not just a judge.
249
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:08,066
I'm also a person.
250
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:10,443
A weird person.
251
00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:12,862
So this whole time,
252
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:14,072
everybody knew?
253
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:15,323
Kiff ate the slice?
254
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:17,909
I'm so lost.
255
00:10:17,909 --> 00:10:20,036
No one's getting
a lifetime pizza ban, hon.
256
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:22,038
We just wanted to get you
to tell the truth.
257
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:23,998
Really? So no punishment?
258
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:25,542
Because I learned
my lesson so well?
259
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,961
Well, not no punishment.
260
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,879
You know,
I built this pizza oven
261
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,881
using reclaimed brick
that I rescued
262
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,883
from an abandoned
brick farm upstate.
263
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,885
Those bricks gave so much
to the world...
264
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,595
Word to the wise, Kiff.
265
00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:38,972
It's always easier
to just tell the truth
266
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,223
from the beginning.
267
00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:42,183
Yup, and your parents know all.
268
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:43,685
Don't I know it.
269
00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:45,770
Case closed.
270
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:47,689
You know, I built this pizza
oven out of reclaimed--
271
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:50,275
[closing theme music playing]
272
00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:15,842
[chirp]