1 00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:06,406 [upbeat saxophone music] 2 00:00:06,439 --> 00:00:11,111 - Mayan, I have one more guest for the wedding list, 3 00:00:11,144 --> 00:00:13,546 my dear friend Celeste. 4 00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:15,215 - The cashier from Ross? 5 00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:18,818 - We have to invite her. 6 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,187 She gives me a discount. 7 00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:23,323 - It's Ross. You don't need a discount. 8 00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:26,693 There's too many people on this list. 9 00:00:26,726 --> 00:00:28,194 We got to make some cuts. 10 00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:32,499 I'm already eating Del Flaco instead of Del Taco. 11 00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:35,235 - What's "Del Flaco"? - It's my usual Del Taco order, 12 00:00:35,268 --> 00:00:37,604 just cut down to six burritos. 13 00:00:38,638 --> 00:00:40,674 - Well, we still need to add guests from Quinten's side 14 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,542 once his parents get here from North Dakota. 15 00:00:42,575 --> 00:00:44,210 And I don't want to hear any more jokes 16 00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:46,179 about them being related to bison. 17 00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:49,449 I'm serious. 18 00:00:49,482 --> 00:00:51,518 Quinten's always worried about his parents' approval. 19 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:54,320 - Ay, it's always so awkward with his mom. 20 00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:56,189 We never know what to say to each other. 21 00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:58,291 - I wish we had that problem. 22 00:00:59,859 --> 00:01:02,128 - Please welcome Bismarck, North Dakota's, 23 00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:03,630 most famous high school sweethearts, 24 00:01:03,663 --> 00:01:06,199 Sam and Ruthie Van Bryan. 25 00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:11,638 - Aw. 26 00:01:11,671 --> 00:01:13,306 We're not the most famous. 27 00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:15,275 That would be Dave and Donna Prescott. 28 00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:17,711 They own a Buca di Beppo. 29 00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:22,582 - By the way, we invited them to the wedding. 30 00:01:22,615 --> 00:01:23,917 - Can they cater it? 31 00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:25,352 - Ha! 32 00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:26,653 No, no, no. No, no, we don't-- 33 00:01:26,686 --> 00:01:27,887 we don't need them to cater. 34 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,522 We are self-reliant. 35 00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:32,792 I manage this house like I manage the Apple Store. 36 00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:36,196 Speaking of, my manager badge. 37 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,265 - Hi, Rosie. 38 00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:42,469 - Oh, hi, Ruthie. 39 00:01:49,509 --> 00:01:51,411 I got to go pee. 40 00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:59,652 - So that's Dave and Donna and then you two. 41 00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:01,821 Is there any more on your guest list? 42 00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,923 No? That's great, thanks. 43 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,925 - [laughs] 44 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,394 George, we're going to invite 45 00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:09,929 at least 120 people to this wedding. 46 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,898 - 120? 47 00:02:11,931 --> 00:02:13,967 Why don't you invite half of Bismarck? 48 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,436 - That is half of Bismarck. 49 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,305 - Grandma! Grandpa! 50 00:02:19,339 --> 00:02:22,342 - Oh, sweetie! - Oh, Chancie-pants! 51 00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,577 - What did you bring me? 52 00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:25,945 - I told him not to expect gifts 53 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,347 every time you guys visit. 54 00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:30,483 It's not cutesy, mindful, or demure. 55 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:35,722 - We did bring you something, but first, I need to know, 56 00:02:35,755 --> 00:02:38,525 do you have your driver's license? 57 00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:41,795 - No, but neither does Grandpa, and that doesn't stop him. 58 00:02:43,596 --> 00:02:45,699 - Well, buckle up, buttercup, 59 00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:47,967 because we got you... 60 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,603 - A brand-new car. 61 00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:56,443 Just like I sell at my dealership. 62 00:02:56,476 --> 00:02:58,478 - Thank you. I'm gonna use this 63 00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:01,681 to pick up all the honeys in my robotics class. 64 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,989 - I never had a brand-new car. 65 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,491 - It's just a toy, George. 66 00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:13,660 - I never had a brand-new toy. 67 00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:17,430 - Aw, Grandpa, I feel bad. 68 00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:20,767 I'll let you wash and wax this baby later. 69 00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:27,674 [upbeat saxophone music] 70 00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:34,647 * * 71 00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,756 - My parents are safely checked into their hotel. 72 00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:46,526 - And the stairs are on the inside. 73 00:03:50,096 --> 00:03:51,631 - Where are they staying? 74 00:03:51,664 --> 00:03:53,533 - The Ritz. 75 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,669 - Your parents are staying at the Ritz 76 00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:57,637 while I'm sitting here trying to trick my stomach 77 00:03:57,671 --> 00:04:00,407 into believing this is three burritos? 78 00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:03,810 - Did you know they were rich? 79 00:04:03,843 --> 00:04:06,646 - If I did, I would have married him sooner. 80 00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,649 - Hey, your parents are loaded, man. 81 00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:11,317 How come they're not chipping in for the wedding? 82 00:04:11,351 --> 00:04:12,952 - Because I told them how much it meant to you 83 00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,054 to be able to pay for the wedding 84 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,890 as father of the bride. 85 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,426 - Why do you always have to listen to everything I say? 86 00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:24,030 - Your wedding is getting expensive. 87 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:25,832 The Van Bryans should pay for half 88 00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:28,835 if they're inviting everyone in Bisquick, North Dakota. 89 00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:33,039 - So ask Mr. Monopoly and his hot trophy wife 90 00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:35,508 to back that truck up. 91 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:38,678 - I can't. 92 00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:40,447 When I moved out here to make it on my own, 93 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:41,881 my dad said it was a big mistake. 94 00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:44,084 So if I ask him for money, 95 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,353 he's gonna think he was right. 96 00:04:46,386 --> 00:04:48,621 - How touching. 97 00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:50,557 Is that better than them squeezing 98 00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:53,026 all the leche right out of me, 99 00:04:53,059 --> 00:04:57,530 every dime, every lactose drop? 100 00:04:57,564 --> 00:05:00,033 - Mayan, a little help here. 101 00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:03,570 - I know how important your father's approval is. 102 00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:05,071 But my parents have a point. 103 00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:06,573 For the last nine years, 104 00:05:06,606 --> 00:05:08,108 we haven't asked your parents for anything. 105 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,443 Meanwhile, my parents, who aren't rich, 106 00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:13,079 have cooked, cleaned, and even babysat for us. 107 00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,648 - Preach. 108 00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:17,617 - All that help is easily worth-- 109 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:21,755 - $287,000.55 pre-tax. 110 00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:26,159 - So ask Mr. Monopoly and his hot trophy wife 111 00:05:26,192 --> 00:05:29,662 to back that truck up! 112 00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:32,899 [upbeat saxophone music] 113 00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:36,002 * * 114 00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:38,872 - Mother, Father. 115 00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,473 I want to talk about the wedding. 116 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,075 - Well, doesn't everybody? 117 00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:44,010 Excuse my language, 118 00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:47,580 but it is a big honkin' deal. 119 00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:50,116 - Yup, ever since I posted it on Facebook, 120 00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:52,752 I got friends, I got customers at the dealership, 121 00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:56,723 can't stop talking about the Van Lopez wedding. 122 00:05:56,756 --> 00:05:58,825 - You posted a picture of me on Facebook. 123 00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:03,196 And I'm not even a Chevy Malibu with zero down and 0.9 APR. 124 00:06:03,229 --> 00:06:05,465 - We're proud of you, tiger. 125 00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:07,667 You moved across the country without any help 126 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,736 and made a life for yourself. 127 00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:11,971 - I've--I've never heard you say you were proud, 128 00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:14,641 or call me "tiger." 129 00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:17,677 - Better get used to it...tiger. 130 00:06:19,979 --> 00:06:21,181 I got something for you. 131 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:24,117 - Oh, it's happening! 132 00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:25,719 [laughs giddily] 133 00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:29,022 - Yeah. Uh, here we go. 134 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:32,525 - Wh--your Chevrolet Spring Sales Event winner pin? 135 00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,060 I thought you wanted to be buried with it. 136 00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:35,595 - Yeah. 137 00:06:35,628 --> 00:06:38,531 Well, now you don't have to steal it from my corpse. 138 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:41,534 No, I--I know you always wanted it, 139 00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,203 but you had too much self-respect 140 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:46,106 to ask your ol' man for anything. 141 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:49,609 - So, uh, what'd you want to tell us about the wedding? 142 00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:51,945 - You know, that we picked our napkins, 143 00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:54,014 and they're beige. 144 00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:56,216 - Strong choice. 145 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,984 * * 146 00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:04,224 [upbeat saxophone music] 147 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,558 * * 148 00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,561 - Quinten, welcome to my home. 149 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:12,565 Mi casa is parked outside of su casa. 150 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,267 - I'm hiding from my parents 151 00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:16,136 and Mayan's parents 152 00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,671 and Mayan 153 00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:20,006 and the truth. 154 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,876 - From that Spring Sales Event pin on your shirt, 155 00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:25,078 I'm gonna say this is about your relationship 156 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,080 with your father. 157 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,882 - Wow. That is insightful. 158 00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:31,851 - Clearly, you killed him and took his pin. 159 00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:36,690 - Less insightful. 160 00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:38,758 The Lopezes want me to ask my parents 161 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,560 to help pay for the wedding, 162 00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:42,629 but I am scared of disappointing my dad, 163 00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:45,031 who is finally proud of me. 164 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:47,934 - I'm scared I'll die alone in this truck. 165 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,738 But I guess your dad thing is important too. 166 00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:56,910 Let me give you the best advice I've ever received: 167 00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:58,912 always lie. 168 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,550 Through your teeth, on the stand, out ya ass. 169 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,787 - I'm--I'm not a very good liar. 170 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:11,091 But I don't know if I have any other choice. 171 00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,659 - You'll be fine. 172 00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:15,829 I have complete faith in you. 173 00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:17,864 See? Lying's not that hard. 174 00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:21,801 The key is to keep it simple 175 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,004 so you don't have to remember a lot of details. 176 00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:28,608 - It was 6:58. 177 00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:33,213 The low evening sun cast long shadows across the kitchen. 178 00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:35,015 The dew outside-- 179 00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:38,084 - Shut up about the dew! 180 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,153 What did your parents say about chipping in some money? 181 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,721 - They said no. 182 00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,990 And they got really mad, so we should just 183 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,725 not ever speak about money again. 184 00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:47,360 - What's that thing on your shirt? 185 00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:49,329 - Oh, this? Uh, it's a pin-- 186 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,866 that my dad stabbed me with for bringing up money. 187 00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,373 - But I just saw your parents a few minutes ago 188 00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:02,308 and they were all smiles. 189 00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:05,979 - Oh...oh, th-that's how you know they're upset. 190 00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:10,150 Because the madder they are, the bigger they smile. 191 00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:13,953 - Really? Is that a North Dakota thing? 192 00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:16,122 - Yeah, let's go with that. 193 00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:20,927 Yeah, it's called... "North Dakota nice." 194 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,066 - I'm so sorry that they got so mad at you. 195 00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:30,170 The fact that you were willing to ask is all we could want. 196 00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:32,639 - I still want the money. 197 00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:35,742 I'll ask. People like me. 198 00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:38,178 They really like me. 199 00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:40,046 - Nobody likes you. 200 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,247 I'll ask. 201 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:44,250 Now I have something to finally talk to your mom about. 202 00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:45,819 - No. 203 00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:49,155 Please, nobody bring up money with my parents. 204 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,256 We'll just cut costs. 205 00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,158 We can consider getting married at the courthouse. 206 00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:54,160 We have a nice dinner at Outback after. 207 00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:55,862 - Ay. 208 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,869 - We'll do whatever we have to do. 209 00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:07,907 - I do like the Outback. 210 00:10:09,909 --> 00:10:12,946 Those onions are a-bloomin' this time of year. 211 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,949 - There is no way 212 00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:17,751 that I am getting married at the courthouse. 213 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:21,054 I want to walk down the aisle, not through a metal detector. 214 00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:24,991 - That's my girl. 215 00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:27,460 I thought you were gonna support Quinten because of your 216 00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:30,330 "healthy relationship that leaves ego at the door." 217 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:32,265 Blah, blah, blah, barf. 218 00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:36,136 - You know, it took a lot for me to decide to get married. 219 00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:38,071 I want my wedding to be special. 220 00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:41,341 - Oh, I never thought I'd hear you say that. 221 00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:47,047 - Quinten said that we can't ask the Van Bryans for money, 222 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:50,250 but we can manipulate them. 223 00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,255 - That's my girl. 224 00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:02,328 Thinking like a Lopez! 225 00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:06,433 - Manipulation comes from my side of the family. 226 00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:09,235 You can take credit for the excess facial hair. 227 00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:10,770 - Uh. 228 00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:12,772 * * 229 00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,240 - Oh. 230 00:11:17,977 --> 00:11:19,179 [upbeat saxophone music] 231 00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:23,083 - Don't mind me, just getting a little preview of the food 232 00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:25,819 I'm gonna be picking out of your garbage later. 233 00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:29,856 - Yeah, for the wedding, I'm preparing a tasting menu 234 00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:32,859 of Latin American and North Dakotan cuisine. 235 00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:35,829 - Two great tastes that taste great together. 236 00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:39,332 - Thanks again for your advice, Oscar. 237 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,534 I feel bad for lying to everybody, 238 00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:44,104 but it worked. [chuckles weakly] 239 00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:49,242 - It always works and never blows up in your face. 240 00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:54,314 - Is that a lie? 241 00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:55,949 - No. 242 00:11:55,982 --> 00:12:01,388 * * 243 00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:08,128 - Look at them, being all North Dakota nice. 244 00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:12,899 All that anger, it's ugly. 245 00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:23,943 - Well, we'll beat them at their own game. 246 00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:26,413 We'll be so nice that they'll assume we're mad, 247 00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:28,548 ask what's wrong, and then we'll hit them 248 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,217 with the bill for the wedding. 249 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,919 - Then we're not the ones bringing it up. 250 00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,120 - Mm-hmm. 251 00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:37,824 - First you act all nice, 252 00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:39,559 and then you get the money, 253 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:41,394 and then you get the power. 254 00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:47,100 - When are we gonna start the tasting? 255 00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:48,335 - Well, I think we're ready. 256 00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:50,036 Would you like to help carry the plates, Gordo? 257 00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,439 - I would, but I'm late to this important thing 258 00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:55,241 in the living room. 259 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:59,346 * * 260 00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:00,947 - OK, first, 261 00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:03,116 from the North Dakota side of the family, 262 00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:05,518 sour cream and raisin pie. 263 00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:07,020 - Oh. 264 00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:10,990 - This is my Grammie-Gram's recipe. 265 00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:13,226 She's at the great potluck in the sky now, 266 00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:15,295 serving this to the angels. 267 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:20,400 - I'm sure my tummy-tum is about to say yummy-yum. 268 00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,302 [polite laughter] 269 00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:26,039 - Mmm! 270 00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:30,076 Mmm. 271 00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:32,379 [strained] Mmm. 272 00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:36,116 - You're so chatty tonight, Rosie. 273 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,151 - Mouths are for three things-- 274 00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:42,322 chatting, chewing, and smiling. 275 00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:45,158 [polite laughter] 276 00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:50,930 - Well, by gum... [chuckles] 277 00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:56,069 This is delicious. 278 00:13:57,971 --> 00:14:00,306 - Wow. You really love the pie. 279 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,409 OK, I'll mark that down as a winner for the wedding. 280 00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:07,080 - Are we eating the same pie? 281 00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:11,951 This is nasty. 282 00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,086 - [laughs awkwardly] 283 00:14:15,955 --> 00:14:19,459 - Even Churro won't eat it, and she eats her own poop. 284 00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:25,031 [awkward laughter] 285 00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:27,701 - Kids say the darndest things. 286 00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:30,603 - Next up, from Rosie's Cuban side, 287 00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:32,472 ropa vieja. 288 00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:34,607 - Ooh. 289 00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:36,276 - Mmm. 290 00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:40,146 - Whoa! 291 00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,521 Whoa. 292 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,390 That's got some kick. 293 00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:55,328 What kind of spice do you use? 294 00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:58,631 - It's salt. 295 00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:00,433 - Mm-mm-mm. 296 00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:02,969 - I mean, it's salt! 297 00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:05,505 I use it on all of my dishes. 298 00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:06,639 Isn't it delicious? 299 00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:09,075 - [exhales heavily] 300 00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:13,013 - We're just loving this cultural exchange. 301 00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:21,621 - [hushed] It's not working. 302 00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,623 They can't tell that we're mad at them. 303 00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:25,392 We got to turn up the nice. 304 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:26,359 - I'm on it. 305 00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:27,560 Sam? 306 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:28,661 - Ah. Yes, George? 307 00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:30,296 - I love you. 308 00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:38,238 - Wow. [laughs] 309 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,440 What is this, the Moose Lodge? 310 00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:43,276 [laughter] 311 00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:45,478 - What--what's happening? 312 00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:48,181 - We're just being nice, like we always are. 313 00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:50,417 - You're never nice. 314 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,685 - Yes, we are. 315 00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:55,121 In fact, there's a name for this kind of nice. 316 00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,223 - North Dakota nice. 317 00:15:57,257 --> 00:16:00,126 Eh? - Ah, Dios mío. 318 00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:04,197 - What is North Dakota nice? 319 00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:06,199 - Don't act dumb, Ruthie. 320 00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:09,669 - Quinten told us that you pretend to be nice 321 00:16:09,703 --> 00:16:11,304 when you're actually angry. 322 00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:15,342 - I don't think we know what you're talking about. 323 00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:16,810 - No, we're not angry-- 324 00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:18,578 wait. 325 00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:21,648 Are you angry? 326 00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:24,150 - Of course we are. 327 00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:26,419 - Oscar, now would be a great time to interrupt 328 00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:28,221 with some fruitcake cookies! 329 00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:34,194 - You refuse to pay for my dream wedding. 330 00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:38,231 I mean, Quinten and Mayan's dream wedding. 331 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,169 - We haven't refused to pay for anything. 332 00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:46,239 Quinten, what are they talking about? 333 00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:53,079 - It was 6:59. 334 00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:55,448 A lone coyote howled in the distance-- 335 00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:59,619 - Let me give you the best advice I've ever gotten, man: 336 00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:02,355 always tell the truth. 337 00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:11,664 - Mom, Dad, um, 338 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:14,267 the Lopezes asked me to get you to help pay for the wedding, 339 00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:16,836 but...I lied. 340 00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:18,672 I-I never asked them. 341 00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:23,576 - So I've been North Dakota nice for nothing? 342 00:17:25,679 --> 00:17:28,415 I'm going back to being California cranky! 343 00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:32,552 * * 344 00:17:35,789 --> 00:17:37,290 [bluesy saxophone music] 345 00:17:37,323 --> 00:17:38,825 - What is going on? 346 00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:42,262 Why were you so afraid to ask us for money, pumpkin? 347 00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:44,831 - [sighs] It j-- 348 00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:46,666 it just meant so much to me when you guys said 349 00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:49,602 that you were proud of me that I-I worried 350 00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:53,573 that if I asked for help, you would think less of me. 351 00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:55,675 - Valid concern. 352 00:17:57,277 --> 00:18:01,247 - Quinten, you are so gosh darn independent. 353 00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:04,317 But can I let you in on a little secret? 354 00:18:04,351 --> 00:18:06,553 As your parents, we would like to think 355 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:07,854 that you still need us. 356 00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:09,923 Right, Sam? 357 00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:12,459 - I'm good. 358 00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:15,228 - Samuel Rudolph Van Bryan, 359 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:18,631 you make like a coupon and cut that out. 360 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,935 This is all your doing. 361 00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:23,603 - Me? 362 00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:26,740 - You don't tell Quinten that you're proud of him enough. 363 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,541 And to make up for that, 364 00:18:28,575 --> 00:18:32,479 we would like to pay for half of this wedding. 365 00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:35,749 And I don't want to hear a bug's burp about it. 366 00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:38,551 - Yes, dear. 367 00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,655 - That means a lot to me. 368 00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:43,823 So thank you. 369 00:18:43,857 --> 00:18:45,525 - You are welcome. 370 00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:47,360 And since we're paying, 371 00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:49,729 use that money to get a caterer. 372 00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:54,668 - Yeah, one that doesn't use all those crazy spices. 373 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,670 Salt? 374 00:18:59,873 --> 00:19:02,809 [overlapping arguing] 375 00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,248 - Oh, look, it's the little white guy 376 00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:10,383 who tells the little white lies. 377 00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:14,621 - Deserved. I'm sorry. 378 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:15,989 OK? I-- 379 00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,624 I know it was wrong, 380 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,559 but I-I couldn't disappoint my parents. 381 00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:21,494 - What about disappointing us? 382 00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:23,363 - I don't care about that. 383 00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:27,934 Because I know you'd forgive me. 384 00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:32,405 You guys let me make mistakes, and you don't judge me for it. 385 00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:36,309 - So you treated us worse because we're better? 386 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:40,380 - Pretty much. 387 00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:43,483 - Ay, Quinten, I forgive you. 388 00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:47,520 - Not me. 389 00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:50,857 It'll be a cold day in hell before I forgive you. 390 00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:54,294 - My parents are gonna pay for half the wedding. 391 00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:56,363 - Ooh, is anybody else cold? 392 00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,669 Ay, Quinten, I forgive you too, mijo. 393 00:20:06,740 --> 00:20:08,475 - Mayan? 394 00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:12,746 - Yes, I forgive you too, 395 00:20:12,779 --> 00:20:14,481 but only because I feel really bad 396 00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:16,850 that you had to watch our dads kiss. 397 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,819 [upbeat saxophone music] 398 00:20:19,853 --> 00:20:21,454 * * 399 00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:22,722 - Wat are we doing here, Dad? 400 00:20:22,756 --> 00:20:24,758 - We had an idea for the wedding. 401 00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:26,760 Why don't you do your first dance 402 00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:30,497 to the same song your mother and I did? 403 00:20:31,865 --> 00:20:34,000 - That's so romantic. 404 00:20:34,034 --> 00:20:35,969 What was it? 405 00:20:36,002 --> 00:20:38,471 - Polka! 406 00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:40,774 [polka music playing] 407 00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:42,609 - 5, 6, 7, 8. 408 00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:46,379 - * Roll out the barrel * 409 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:49,449 * We'll have a barrel of fun * 410 00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:53,386 - That's so sweet, but I-I don't want to impose 411 00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:56,356 our cultural traditions onto the Lopezes. 412 00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:57,524 - What are you talking about? 413 00:20:57,557 --> 00:20:59,659 This sounds like norteño. 414 00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:02,762 [norteño music playing] 415 00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:09,536 - Ooh! This is like spicy polka! 416 00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:16,409 - Hey, Sam, forget that Chevy. 417 00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:18,545 Take this Cadillac for a spin. 418 00:21:26,086 --> 00:21:28,888 What is this, the Moose Lodge?