1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,626
‎（欢迎来到天堂）

2
00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:10,756
‎（没有拥挤的豪华酒店
‎没有嘈杂的当地人）

3
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:12,514
‎（这里　是您的专属空间）

4
00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:16,806
‎（品味正宗墨西哥美食）

5
00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:20,981
‎（骑驴探索神奇邻里风景）

6
00:00:21,646 --> 00:00:23,816
‎（把脸涂成墨西哥头骨！）

7
00:00:24,607 --> 00:00:29,277
‎（享受美丽的小夜曲
‎还有性感莎莎舞课）

8
00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:33,406
‎（墨西哥比弗利山庄）

9
00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:37,995
‎（位于美丽的大教堂和金字塔附近）

10
00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:39,829
‎（还有绚丽的大自然）

11
00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:41,964
‎（我还活着吗？
‎对！）

12
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:43,786
‎（我活在天堂！）

13
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,747
‎暴发户决战富人里

14
00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:50,047
‎-你还没学过英语
‎-比不会说英语的网红还要糟

15
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,343
‎是谷歌知道的多　还是你知道的多？

16
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:53,847
‎当然是谷歌

17
00:00:53,928 --> 00:00:58,268
‎我讨厌爱彼迎
‎还是可以靠卖玉米饼度日的

18
00:00:58,349 --> 00:01:03,189
‎守卫和园丁经常点我们的餐
‎佣人们就更不用提了

19
00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:06,191
‎虽然他们学自己的老板　喜欢减肥

20
00:01:06,274 --> 00:01:10,114
‎我同意小巴布罗　找个美国租户

21
00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:14,025
‎太酷了　他们用美元支付

22
00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:18,865
‎我觉得爱彼迎让城市越来越高档化
‎穷人更穷

23
00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:22,713
‎又不是耍流氓　走私毒品什么的

24
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,921
‎看到了吗？我们看着像毒贩

25
00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:27,551
‎规矩都讲好了
‎不想要我们的院子了？

26
00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:30,549
‎所以我们在这儿偷偷说嘛

27
00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:34,262
‎什么爱彼迎玉米饼　我有工作了！

28
00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:37,604
‎厄内斯托公司的创意编辑　头号员工

29
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:41,430
‎太好了　亲爱的　把袋子里装满辣椒

30
00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:45,728
‎-十号永不败
‎-我们需要钱

31
00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:50,574
‎天！我们太吵了吗？

32
00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:53,242
‎-肯定是雷切尔
‎-谁？

33
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:59,044
‎我把房子贴在爱彼迎上
‎这是第一位客人

34
00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:02,247
‎（欢迎雷切尔）

35
00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:05,040
‎不是雷切尔　我设了个假账户

36
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,375
‎为什么？

37
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:10,299
‎我妈疯了　我得赶紧躲躲

38
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:14,131
‎-房间在哪里？
‎-楼上

39
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:15,797
‎我会帮你的

40
00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:22,477
‎你干嘛？不要院子了吗？

41
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:26,809
‎自从我不能敲锣以后　总是厄运不断

42
00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:30,976
‎停车超时　还有你！你不接我的电话

43
00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:34,196
‎（你怎么了？这是什么鬼？）

44
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,699
‎保护好我们的院子
‎因为我们经常大喊大叫

45
00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:37,621
‎我不在乎！

46
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:41,829
‎你不懂　代价太高了　又没得贿赂

47
00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:44,661
‎手机没电了　提款机没钱了

48
00:02:44,747 --> 00:02:47,627
‎鞋带断了！它表现好奇怪啊

49
00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:50,919
‎那该死的酒驾啊　害死我了

50
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,384
‎不是不走运　别胡思乱想

51
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,344
‎佛祖无视有毒之人

52
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,717
‎待你走进正念之时　咱再聊

53
00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:02,934
‎不请自来　再好不过了　是吧？

54
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,056
‎你们总是一起吃饭吗？

55
00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:07,563
‎没有手机　没有平板？

56
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,057
‎好奇怪啊

57
00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:12,568
‎大家不一定都有宽屏手机

58
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:14,440
‎-是哈
‎-如果是这样

59
00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:17,447
‎-边嚼边说可不好
‎-别再炫耀了

60
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:18,490
‎别说了！

61
00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:21,163
‎-该死
‎-小心你的嘴巴

62
00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:22,412
‎闭嘴！

63
00:03:23,077 --> 00:03:25,747
‎珍妮别扔了　大家停一下

64
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:27,710
‎这孩子得告诉我们

65
00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:31,420
‎怎么在隔壁的豪宅里用上爱彼迎

66
00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:35,382
‎好吧　我想成为独立女人

67
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:38,125
‎卡妲不会永远为我铺床

68
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,718
‎而我到现在还不知道怎么铺床

69
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:44,854
‎一张床单有弹性　另一张却没有

70
00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:49,404
‎太难了　而且还是一个颜色

71
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,859
‎-没错
‎-为什么选这栋房子？

72
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:56,780
‎因为很方便　靠近我的健身房、瑜伽

73
00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:58,611
‎普拉提　还有我的司机

74
00:03:58,696 --> 00:04:02,696
‎你做了最棒的选择
‎我们提供最好的服务

75
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,834
‎跟我点餐

76
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,911
‎我们真正的墨西哥厨师会马上做好

77
00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:10,917
‎谢谢　女士　但我从来不吃晚餐

78
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:14,000
‎我断断续续的禁食
‎晚上7点后就不吃了

79
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:17,417
‎-你妈妈呢？
‎-早上10点后就不吃了

80
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:18,627
‎什么？

81
00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:23,296
‎我完全理解她　她这个年纪
‎脂肪都堆在臀部

82
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:25,469
‎我无意冒犯

83
00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:28,766
‎我是说　你来这里
‎你妈有什么看法？

84
00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:31,981
‎她不知道　你可别跟她讲

85
00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:34,403
‎我吃了玉米馅饼配面包
‎千万别跟她讲

86
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:35,572
‎为什么？

87
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,740
‎因为它有500大卡啊！

88
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:45,164
‎她觉得我没用　一个人活不下去

89
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:46,333
‎怎么可能

90
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:47,871
‎（不活得好好的嘛）

91
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:51,748
‎你会说英语吗？

92
00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,378
‎她是个间谍

93
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:03,295
‎要独立？
‎有钱的孩子从来都离不开父母

94
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:06,886
‎继承父母的生意　相互结婚

95
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:10,353
‎蕾奥娜　不要发起阴谋论　好吗

96
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:13,895
‎你说过　电视编造了吸血狼

97
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,270
‎但是姑姑说她看到一只吃掉了她的羊

98
00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:19,777
‎不管你信不信　我们都在打仗

99
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,901
‎清醒点　要不然就被打败了

100
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:26,908
‎像冷战一样　一切都是机密再机密

101
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,913
‎珍妮　玉米饼要凉了

102
00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:35,036
‎小西派她来　让我们做错事
‎然后把我们的院子夺走

103
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,086
‎做玉米饼不就已经违规了

104
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:40,340
‎但他们不知道　珍妮说得对

105
00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:43,633
‎不是谁违反规矩就输了
‎是谁被抓到就输了

106
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,678
‎-我同意　你呢？
‎-不同意

107
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,312
‎不同意？来点儿？

108
00:05:47,388 --> 00:05:51,178
‎他们派个间谍过来
‎那我们的间谍是谁？

109
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:56,274
‎-玉米饼不会自己成型
‎-要复习冷战考试

110
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,316
‎-我要去见厄内斯托
‎-我要去见雷切尔

111
00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:02,531
‎-我在训练小巴布罗
‎-是的

112
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:03,452
‎-对
‎-是的

113
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,283
‎太好了！

114
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,294
‎普奇　下去！

115
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:17,383
‎这都是低卡　有机　无麸质的食物

116
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:18,840
‎谢谢

117
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:22,420
‎-就带了这么多？
‎-嗯　为什么？

118
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:28,013
‎我以为你从来不会重复用任何东西

119
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,596
‎绝不！我宁愿去死！

120
00:06:31,265 --> 00:06:32,095
‎恶心！

121
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:36,395
‎-要什么　我都能跟你拿
‎-真的吗？

122
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:41,816
‎我的白古驰、黑古驰

123
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,691
‎白色古驰靴

124
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:47,655
‎还有…哦！
‎还有露露柠檬运动裤和夹克

125
00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:51,909
‎还有…珊瑚粉色连衣裙

126
00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:55,424
‎但朱红色和猩红色的就别带过来了

127
00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:59,248
‎只要去年圣诞节穿的珊瑚粉色连衣裙

128
00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:00,165
‎好的

129
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:01,673
‎跟着我说

130
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,804
‎巴鲁克哈希姆　你来？

131
00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:05,171
‎往上？

132
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:09,928
‎-意思是“我很好　谢天谢地　你呢？”
‎-真的？

133
00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:13,102
‎是的　跟着我说　巴鲁克哈希姆

134
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:18,064
‎就像你喉咙里卡了东西

135
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,901
‎很好　你想要工作　对吧？

136
00:07:28,072 --> 00:07:31,122
‎那就练到对了为止

137
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,950
‎这个账户就靠它了

138
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:41,504
‎差不多了　我们开始吧

139
00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:42,956
‎摩西苏克里？

140
00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:46,375
‎这是你的新身份

141
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:49,636
‎你需要学习他的一切

142
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:54,389
‎吃喝拉撒　都得像摩西

143
00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:58,187
‎赫纳罗已经不存在了
‎现在你是摩西

144
00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:02,609
‎这个客户只跟犹太人做生意
‎你是谁？

145
00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:05,190
‎-摩西苏克里
‎-很好

146
00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:08,911
‎你的帽子　摩西

147
00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:13,200
‎不要摘掉　伙计　洗澡时都不能摘

148
00:08:13,784 --> 00:08:15,504
‎巴鲁克哈希姆

149
00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:25,206
‎去吧　厄运！

150
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,763
‎搞什么鬼！

151
00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:37,981
‎迭戈　静一下！

152
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:40,229
‎这么多草药　怎么回事？

153
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:44,481
‎要紧急洁净房子
‎不能这样下去了

154
00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:48,945
‎玛莎·德拜尔官网极力推荐的巫师
‎效果绝对不错

155
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,028
‎对

156
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:53,123
‎好　够了

157
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:56,239
‎卡妲　请带他离开　谢谢

158
00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:06,089
‎明天　我要在全身涂个鸡蛋

159
00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:10,170
‎如果是透明的
‎就说明我的锐气重振

160
00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:13,338
‎我能为您准备什么吗？

161
00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:15,557
‎把普奇带走　我受够它了

162
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:18,718
‎好了　普奇

163
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,388
‎走开！

164
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,147
‎你家总是充斥着玉米饼的味道

165
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:25,361
‎让我感到好饿

166
00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:29,988
‎挺奇怪的　但你可以试试这个

167
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:34,410
‎和托马斯一起　烧掉你吃的东西

168
00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:38,080
‎史上最棒的运动
‎吃吧　没有任何罪恶感

169
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,330
‎不错

170
00:09:40,454 --> 00:09:41,624
‎这是什么味道？

171
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,541
‎我会被抓住的！

172
00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:47,585
‎回复我　亲爱的　我会被抓到的

173
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,840
‎你？我妹妹呢？

174
00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:53,132
‎克丽丝塔搬到我那儿了
‎她想自食其力

175
00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:57,390
‎太好了
‎可以在她房间置个超阔办公室

176
00:09:58,180 --> 00:10:00,470
‎听起来不错　能帮我一把吗？

177
00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:03,100
‎她想要把红裙子带过去

178
00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:05,975
‎这点很难　她的裙子太多太多

179
00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:09,693
‎-圣诞节穿的那套珊瑚粉色？
‎-那不是粉色

180
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:13,235
‎你们学校没教过不同的红色？

181
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:15,361
‎没有　但是《时尚》杂志会刊登一些

182
00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:21,164
‎我可以帮你　但我不记得了
‎我只有视觉记忆

183
00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:26,826
‎你确定吗？

184
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:30,547
‎我要看看才能想起来
‎这是个令人头疼的天赋

185
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:35,680
‎这个吗？

186
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,974
‎嗯　我觉得是这件　但是…

187
00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:46,560
‎克丽丝塔还跳了个舞
‎你也跳一个吧　我看是不是这件

188
00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:53,943
‎你这个变态！

189
00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:04,622
‎她想让你讲讲我们的玉米饼生意

190
00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:08,165
‎给她一个　好吗？
‎不然欲望杀了她怎么办？

191
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,880
‎聪明点　她也是敌人

192
00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:14,591
‎-我会让她运动时说实话
‎-很好

193
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:16,014
‎这是什么？

194
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:17,966
‎-喂！
‎-不可能！

195
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:20,182
‎-你敢！
‎-什么？

196
00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:23,972
‎待会儿再解释
‎我有重要消息：小西疯了

197
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:27,348
‎她说因为没法儿敲锣　所以楣运当头

198
00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:31,266
‎然后她要用鸡蛋净化自己的气场

199
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,568
‎这人真好骗

200
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:40,696
‎鸡蛋是用来辟邪的

201
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,953
‎她肯定有个护身符

202
00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:44,365
‎像冷战时期

203
00:11:44,453 --> 00:11:47,003
‎美苏两国意愿不同

204
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:49,291
‎所以总是闹矛盾

205
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:51,585
‎珍妮说得好　咱得动作快点

206
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:54,589
‎别让那金发蓝眼小家伙发现咱的生意

207
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:56,052
‎有蛋吗？

208
00:11:56,132 --> 00:12:00,642
‎-都在我卵巢里
‎-这才像我女儿

209
00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:17,776
‎-太好了！咱打赢了
‎-我看看

210
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,820
‎（泰莉：鸡蛋任务完成）

211
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:22,662
‎你好

212
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,289
‎我们有安全套

213
00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:31,457
‎怀孕与否要看上帝

214
00:12:34,211 --> 00:12:36,381
‎怎么搞的？

215
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,629
‎听起来怎么像噎着了

216
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:43,257
‎厄内斯托有个客户
‎他只跟犹太人做生意

217
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:47,305
‎所以我不是赫纳罗了
‎现在我是摩西苏克里

218
00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:49,691
‎巴鲁克哈希姆

219
00:12:50,394 --> 00:12:52,354
‎别介

220
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:56,398
‎我觉得他在骗你　这样好炒你的鱿鱼

221
00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:59,275
‎他的疯婆子就不会知道
‎你在他那里做事

222
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:02,161
‎不行啊　亲爱的　他是我哥们儿

223
00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:05,619
‎求你了　亲爱的　厄内斯托是敌人

224
00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:09,211
‎谁没事跟兄弟讲
‎多要几个娃　即便他负担不起

225
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:11,418
‎我开优步时　也服务过犹太人

226
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:15,499
‎那也算跟犹太人做生意吧？
‎这人完全在拖你后腿

227
00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:18,296
‎要不就把你拉下水

228
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,380
‎你的卷发！好好玩

229
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:24,046
‎太好玩儿了　笑一笑　亲爱的

230
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:31,515
‎所有的蛋都用上　女士？
‎再来一点儿？

231
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:34,362
‎注意力集中　把你的坏情绪赶走

232
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,818
‎好　准备好了吗？

233
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:48,485
‎天呐！他们偷走了我的好运！

234
00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:50,497
‎没有　女士

235
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:53,666
‎你会丢掉院子的！

236
00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:56,591
‎驴子会吃掉你的花

237
00:13:57,586 --> 00:13:59,666
‎一定要废除这份协议

238
00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:03,006
‎就是那个女的！

239
00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:06,764
‎蕾奥娜让我认识到　你不是我的朋友

240
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:09,474
‎等等

241
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:12,727
‎你也喜欢《无遮掩的爱》？
‎我最喜欢这部电视剧

242
00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:15,560
‎-真的吗？
‎-真的

243
00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:20,145
‎塞巴斯蒂安以为他是谁？

244
00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:23,454
‎不知道
‎他怎么能为墨墨抛弃玛丽安娜

245
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,319
‎我觉得他在利用他

246
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:28,196
‎没错　老兄
‎你也是粉丝　太棒了

247
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:31,664
‎终于可以跟别人聊我喜欢的电视剧了

248
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:35,245
‎我说过了　我没有劈腿

249
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:39,629
‎为什么我还不够格　塞巴斯蒂安？

250
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:42,422
‎为什么我还不够格　厄内斯托？

251
00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:43,716
‎-什么？
‎-什么？

252
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:45,675
‎何出此言？

253
00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:48,349
‎何出此言　赫纳罗洛佩兹

254
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:49,809
‎你想改变我

255
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:53,139
‎你想改变我
‎为什么不能接受我？

256
00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:56,194
‎-我不是摩西
‎-我是玛丽安娜费南达

257
00:14:56,270 --> 00:15:00,440
‎我是赫纳罗
‎对你来说　这就够了

258
00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:03,784
‎-不是的　赫纳罗
‎-这世道不公

259
00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:05,951
‎我的客户不公

260
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:09,120
‎有时候人们看不清前方

261
00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:13,579
‎所以我们用面具　让他们喜欢我们
‎就像摩西一样

262
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:20,338
‎我们要随时做好准备　等待机会来临

263
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:23,129
‎-我们是兄弟
‎-不！

264
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:25,472
‎来了

265
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:31,640
‎昨天的事　很抱歉　你让我措手不及

266
00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:36,482
‎克丽丝塔让我过来取她的内衣
‎我搞不清楚

267
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:38,943
‎帮个忙吧？

268
00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:41,938
‎好

269
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:43,734
‎再来一点

270
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:45,284
‎开机关枪

271
00:15:45,986 --> 00:15:47,146
‎走起

272
00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:51,737
‎什么？用劲　快一点
‎你行的

273
00:15:51,825 --> 00:15:55,035
‎就这样的态度！想吃玉米饼吗？

274
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:59,000
‎-对！
‎-坏女孩！就这样！

275
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:01,003
‎我不会吃玉米饼

276
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:04,335
‎只想要一个　不值得

277
00:16:04,421 --> 00:16:06,051
‎-为什么
‎-我的身体是座寺庙

278
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,181
‎-大声点
‎-我的身体是座寺庙

279
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:10,224
‎很好！

280
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:12,143
‎就这样！

281
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:15,268
‎-没事吧？
‎-没事

282
00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:23,355
‎-你太过分了
‎-什么？

283
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,690
‎女生去健身房只有两个原因

284
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:29,907
‎自拍和调情　搞个什么魔鬼训练

285
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:34,789
‎我把克丽丝塔变得性感的冒烟
‎相信我

286
00:16:34,868 --> 00:16:38,408
‎想象力是最强大的春药

287
00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:43,419
‎我喜欢这种　男扮女装

288
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:45,092
‎错了吗？

289
00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:48,170
‎当然没错　但有必要化妆吗？

290
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:52,757
‎有　我喜欢这样　你也会喜欢的

291
00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:54,474
‎你会明白的

292
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:58,847
‎先穿哪件？

293
00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:03,766
‎好

294
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:08,574
‎我给你试这件　你给我试这件

295
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,370
‎你一直缠着她

296
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:22,876
‎要不就吃东西　要不就锻炼身体

297
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:26,998
‎这样才能破灭她的泡泡

298
00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:31,047
‎让她看到西尔维娅更喜欢普奇

299
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,093
‎-那…
‎-她可能会自杀

300
00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:34,087
‎她说过？

301
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:38,718
‎没有　但很多白痴不在家自杀
‎而是上酒店自杀

302
00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:40,017
‎的确

303
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:42,730
‎侄子　我跟你讲个事

304
00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:46,321
‎我以前有个狱友　叫麦克

305
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:49,738
‎我给他弄了点牛足玉米饼
‎但他消化不了

306
00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:54,818
‎那天晚上他和老大有个重要的会议

307
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:59,241
‎但他病得很重　所以去不了

308
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:03,168
‎所以我替他去了

309
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:05,328
‎会上我就顺着来

310
00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:07,417
‎结果一发不可收拾

311
00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:11,258
‎接连二三地发生了几件事…

312
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:14,643
‎侄子　我只想说

313
00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:18,468
‎我们只需要管好自己

314
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:24,598
‎很多东西只是你想多了

315
00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:25,646
‎好热啊！

316
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,363
‎希伯来　我兄弟

317
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,779
‎这是摩西苏克里

318
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:34,907
‎哈希姆　摩西　你好

319
00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:37,158
‎巴鲁克哈希姆　你好

320
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:38,491
‎巴鲁克哈希姆

321
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:41,501
‎谢谢你周日过来

322
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:47,497
‎这是唯一可以直截了当做生意的地方

323
00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:49,504
‎不需要任何面具

324
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:53,376
‎我准备好了

325
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:54,585
‎-准备好了吗？
‎-嗯

326
00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:59,719
‎墨西哥贵妇孩子的推特图像

327
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:01,595
‎什么？拜托　别这样

328
00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:05,602
‎长得不像克丽丝塔
‎但很像你妈妈

329
00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:09,936
‎-我不像西尔维娅
‎-小西尔维娅说：“都是蕾奥娜的错”

330
00:19:10,023 --> 00:19:11,613
‎西尔维娅不是我母亲！

331
00:19:15,612 --> 00:19:17,412
‎我真的好吃惊

332
00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:22,582
‎卖制服30年　从来没想过舒适度

333
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:26,711
‎我觉得非犹太工人们
‎特别需要适合他们的制服

334
00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:28,880
‎需要感到被捧上天

335
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:31,799
‎这样才不会感到不安

336
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:38,973
‎这笔生意成了

337
00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:42,597
‎我来

338
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,228
‎天啊

339
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,055
‎你不是犹太人

340
00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:55,528
‎迭戈　开门

341
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:58,611
‎我绝对不会发出去的
‎当时只想报复你

342
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:02,408
‎我不知道西尔维娅不是你妈妈

343
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:05,370
‎早在我洗礼时　我妈就过世了
‎我没见过她

344
00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:08,334
‎我们院子有棵树　叫贝崔丝

345
00:20:08,957 --> 00:20:10,207
‎她的骨灰在那里

346
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:13,419
‎所以我爸不会砍掉它

347
00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:17,093
‎-对不起　我发誓我不知道这件事
‎-你走吧

348
00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:21,890
‎别闹了

349
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:26,893
‎-过来拿
‎-女士　这法子我拿不准

350
00:20:26,975 --> 00:20:29,725
‎把你的事做好　卡妲

351
00:20:29,811 --> 00:20:31,151
‎就那里

352
00:20:31,855 --> 00:20:33,765
‎好香的

353
00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:36,436
‎再来点　卡妲　好

354
00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:38,357
‎好了　女士

355
00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:41,735
‎好了　你赶紧躲起来

356
00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:44,033
‎野兽穿过来时

357
00:20:44,117 --> 00:20:47,867
‎拍张照片给大家看
‎我们沾满驴屎的院子

358
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:50,955
‎优步司机输掉后

359
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:54,093
‎我就可以敲锣了

360
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:00,723
‎什么？

361
00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:03,389
‎不可能！

362
00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:05,310
‎数对了吗？

363
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,811
‎数了大概15次　有一个不见了

364
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,189
‎我知道可能是谁干的

365
00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:16,283
‎-什么事？
‎-迭戈！

366
00:21:17,150 --> 00:21:19,610
‎-进来
‎-洛佩兹绑架了克丽丝塔

367
00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:23,565
‎-他们没有
‎-我们必须把她救回来　你化了妆？

368
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:26,287
‎当然没有

369
00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:27,948
‎赶紧穿上衣服

370
00:21:28,036 --> 00:21:31,366
‎-快点！
‎-好

371
00:21:31,456 --> 00:21:33,456
‎我更喜欢夏奇

372
00:21:34,334 --> 00:21:35,674
‎你更听话了

373
00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:38,512
‎你从哪弄来的篮子？

374
00:21:39,172 --> 00:21:42,802
‎-有间房间里　全都是篮子
‎-还是被你发现了

375
00:21:42,884 --> 00:21:44,724
‎这可是史上最棒的惊喜

376
00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:47,933
‎那么多玉米饼　天呐

377
00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:52,475
‎我是说即使你穷　但比我家善良多了

378
00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:54,861
‎我妈根本不在乎我

379
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:57,270
‎来来

380
00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,650
‎不好意思　夏奇

381
00:22:00,527 --> 00:22:02,277
‎亲爱的　我也会犯错

382
00:22:02,946 --> 00:22:05,276
‎你妈妈不会一直是女巫

383
00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:10,003
‎也许你觉得她可怕　她不爱你

384
00:22:10,078 --> 00:22:13,538
‎但即便母亲恨孩子　也需要培养孩子

385
00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:16,043
‎所以我们总是唠叨

386
00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:27,432
‎我不管　他们肯定给她下了药

387
00:22:31,266 --> 00:22:32,766
‎好垃圾！

388
00:22:33,268 --> 00:22:37,398
‎奶制品上瘾
‎却不知道冰淇淋该放哪里？

389
00:22:37,481 --> 00:22:38,941
‎什么？让我看看

390
00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:41,985
‎香肠、土豆、米饭

391
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:45,912
‎豆子、绿莎莎酱　恶心！

392
00:22:46,448 --> 00:22:48,528
‎这些容器干嘛用的？

393
00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:51,747
‎小巴布罗和泰莉讨厌你　还有谁？

394
00:22:51,828 --> 00:22:54,618
‎也谈不上讨厌我吧

395
00:22:55,582 --> 00:22:59,172
‎我强迫珍妮做成年礼
‎她对我不高兴

396
00:22:59,252 --> 00:23:01,882
‎小巴布罗是因为我让他割包皮

397
00:23:01,963 --> 00:23:03,973
‎那泰莉呢？

398
00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:07,339
‎因为我和你哥合作啊

399
00:23:08,178 --> 00:23:13,388
‎希伯来不介意我不是犹太人
‎但他介意我们骗他

400
00:23:13,475 --> 00:23:15,055
‎都是我的错

401
00:23:15,852 --> 00:23:17,772
‎对不起　我的毛巾掉了

402
00:23:17,854 --> 00:23:20,694
‎但弄虚作假行不通

403
00:23:20,774 --> 00:23:22,574
‎你是个好人

404
00:23:23,276 --> 00:23:26,356
‎尽管我们老婆吵架
‎你还是雇了我

405
00:23:26,446 --> 00:23:28,946
‎这非常重要

406
00:23:29,032 --> 00:23:30,832
‎谢谢你　老赫

407
00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:37,623
‎跟你讲过　他们没去过拉斯维加斯

408
00:23:37,707 --> 00:23:38,827
‎天！

409
00:23:41,795 --> 00:23:42,995
‎太穷了吧

410
00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:45,258
‎不可能！它好像普奇？

411
00:23:45,340 --> 00:23:48,140
‎恶心版本　去！

412
00:23:48,677 --> 00:23:49,967
‎这简直是地狱

413
00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:54,563
‎妈妈都希望孩子过得更好
‎即便有时候我们错了

414
00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:59,267
‎我们不完美　你妈一定有优点

415
00:23:59,354 --> 00:24:01,444
‎你需要仔细观察

416
00:24:02,566 --> 00:24:06,146
‎就会发现的　她跟你一样瘦

417
00:24:06,236 --> 00:24:08,566
‎披着金灿灿的头发

418
00:24:09,030 --> 00:24:12,910
‎她照顾好你们一家子
‎数你们每个人的卡路里

419
00:24:13,785 --> 00:24:16,705
‎一个好妈妈会关心孩子的健康

420
00:24:17,330 --> 00:24:18,670
‎我知道她肯定会做一件事

421
00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:22,128
‎就是为你冒险　亲爱的

422
00:24:30,677 --> 00:24:32,257
‎没错

423
00:24:32,345 --> 00:24:36,475
‎没有什么比我们的尊严更重要
‎两千万都拿不到

424
00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:38,482
‎两千万？

425
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:41,520
‎给我两千万
‎我就可以用指甲刀割包皮

426
00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:47,820
‎太好玩了　这是泰莉小时候的照片

427
00:24:47,903 --> 00:24:48,903
‎看到了吗？

428
00:24:54,451 --> 00:24:56,541
‎但克丽丝塔呢？

429
00:24:57,787 --> 00:24:59,657
‎-你来这儿干嘛？
‎-妈妈？

430
00:24:59,748 --> 00:25:02,288
‎-你在这里！
‎-你违约了

431
00:25:02,375 --> 00:25:05,085
‎放了我女儿　要不然我报警

432
00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:07,710
‎-她没被绑架
‎-你为什么大吼大叫？

433
00:25:07,797 --> 00:25:09,627
‎-他们绑架了克丽丝塔！
‎-什么？

434
00:25:09,716 --> 00:25:12,046
‎-没有
‎-没人绑架我！

435
00:25:12,636 --> 00:25:15,096
‎对了　我在这里已经两天了

436
00:25:16,014 --> 00:25:17,354
‎你都没注意到

437
00:25:17,432 --> 00:25:21,852
‎我当然注意到了　我在想办法救你

438
00:25:21,937 --> 00:25:23,977
‎得了

439
00:25:24,564 --> 00:25:26,074
‎我选择这里

440
00:25:27,275 --> 00:25:28,315
‎我喜欢这儿

441
00:25:29,152 --> 00:25:30,822
‎斯德哥尔摩综合症

442
00:25:30,904 --> 00:25:34,204
‎-会传染吗？
‎-好像不会

443
00:25:34,282 --> 00:25:36,032
‎听着　洛佩兹一家…

444
00:25:38,411 --> 00:25:39,411
‎是最棒的

445
00:25:40,205 --> 00:25:41,575
‎他们爱我

446
00:25:41,665 --> 00:25:44,035
‎亲爱的　这也太荒唐了

447
00:25:44,125 --> 00:25:47,795
‎回家说　别在人家面前乱说

448
00:25:47,879 --> 00:25:52,089
‎-这些人会扁了你
‎-这些人对我很好

449
00:25:53,176 --> 00:25:55,426
‎还给我买了一篮子玉米饼

450
00:25:55,512 --> 00:25:59,022
‎让你长痘痘　毁了你的社交圈子

451
00:25:59,099 --> 00:26:01,889
‎当然不是　因为她很伤心

452
00:26:01,977 --> 00:26:04,897
‎听说过“吃饱喝足心情好”吗？

453
00:26:05,564 --> 00:26:07,944
‎够了　你根本没注意到我！

454
00:26:08,525 --> 00:26:11,235
‎总是偏袒迭戈

455
00:26:12,153 --> 00:26:15,493
‎这不是他的错　他很想自己的妈妈

456
00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:17,584
‎-什么？
‎-真的吗？

457
00:26:17,659 --> 00:26:20,079
‎这是不是迭戈鲁纳肥皂剧？

458
00:26:20,161 --> 00:26:22,871
‎任何时候白人孩子
‎受到挫折都可以脱身

459
00:26:22,956 --> 00:26:26,626
‎迭戈有两个妈妈

460
00:26:26,710 --> 00:26:28,340
‎一个活的　一个死的

461
00:26:30,338 --> 00:26:32,758
‎我连个昏迷的都没有

462
00:26:36,261 --> 00:26:37,351
‎好吧…

463
00:26:38,597 --> 00:26:41,807
‎娅埃斯皮诺萨一家子不请自来

464
00:26:41,891 --> 00:26:43,561
‎看来我们赢了

465
00:26:43,643 --> 00:26:45,273
‎-对
‎-走吧

466
00:26:46,855 --> 00:26:49,685
‎这场戏很好看　我们继续

467
00:26:51,651 --> 00:26:53,651
‎大家散了吧

468
00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:56,656
‎散散

469
00:26:58,491 --> 00:26:59,491
‎迭戈

470
00:27:01,286 --> 00:27:02,406
‎来

471
00:27:03,371 --> 00:27:04,211
‎亲爱的

472
00:27:04,831 --> 00:27:07,381
‎我不知道你是这么想的

473
00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:11,167
‎我当然更爱你

474
00:27:11,254 --> 00:27:14,384
‎他只是比较弱势　你懂的

475
00:27:16,009 --> 00:27:18,889
‎但对我来说　你最重要

476
00:27:18,970 --> 00:27:22,680
‎看到你在这里牵着驴子
‎我根本顾不到什么规矩

477
00:27:23,350 --> 00:27:24,770
‎我必须救你

478
00:27:25,352 --> 00:27:26,772
‎你是我唯一关心的人

479
00:27:27,354 --> 00:27:30,864
‎为你我可以冒任何险

480
00:27:32,067 --> 00:27:34,437
‎我的院子　我的美甲　看

481
00:27:37,530 --> 00:27:39,200
‎甚至我的美国运通卡

482
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:41,200
‎（妈）

483
00:27:42,619 --> 00:27:44,499
‎（我好爱你）

484
00:28:06,434 --> 00:28:09,154
‎-雷切尔给我们点评了
‎-说什么？

485
00:28:10,230 --> 00:28:13,860
‎洛佩兹的爱彼迎不仅是个住处

486
00:28:13,942 --> 00:28:17,532
‎还是身心疗养所
‎屋里摆满了玉米饼篮子

487
00:28:18,113 --> 00:28:23,033
‎有最棒的经理　巴布罗洛佩兹很酷

488
00:28:23,118 --> 00:28:25,948
‎看？我就跟你说过

489
00:28:26,621 --> 00:28:29,081
‎有时候你想多了

490
00:31:15,832 --> 00:31:18,002
‎字幕翻译：郑佳音