AN ORIGINAL NETFLIX SERIES
Mom, have you seen my…
Thanks, Mom.
-Take this son. -For my lunch?
No, your math test. It's your teacher's favorite green mole.
Mom, did you iron my miniskirt?
This always helps me get the right grade on my math test.
-Just kidding. -You'd better be. Alright, I have to go.
It's late. We won't get a seat on the bus.
Move it, guys. Leave that. Can you clean this up?
-Sure. -Bye, Mom.
Please water my orchids.
-Mom. -Yes?
Can you wash this? It stinks.
I'm running out of yarn, honey. Can you get me some?
-Where's your boss? -I quit after the protest march.
Don't you need help?
I can iron creases in pants, and I'm very discreet.
Mrs. Silvia caught Mr. Ernesto watching nude chicks online,
and they had a huge fight, but I never said a word.
No, thanks, if I could afford it, I'd get help for this huge house.
Exactly, I can help you out while you shower and get dressed.
I've already showered and dressed.
Right!
-Sorry. -I don't don't need any help.
I have nowhere to go.
My sisters kicked me out for not voting for AMLO.
But Anaya was sexier.
I don't live with them anymore.
You can stay for a few days until you find work.
Thank you so much! I won't bother you. And I barely have any things.
Can I have your wifi password?
I used all my data, while fighting with my sisters on WhatsApp.
Can you help me?
Hey, which is my room?
This is the perfect sandwich for kids to take to school.
First, we spread the mayo.
Remember to cover the entire slice.
Make sure the avocado is ripe, or else it won't be edible.
We also add a bit of mustard.
-Who wants sushi? -No!
The neighbors make fun of us for always eating delivery.
Because you want them to think you cook and not Cata.
I miss Cata's sandwiches. You should hire her back.
I don't miss her. You'll see, my sandwiches are better.
If you ever make one. You've been watching tutorials all day.
They don't explain it well. It's Castilian Spanish.
Mom, that's the coat Cata always took from you.
Doesn't it stink like the subway?
I'm cold, okay? It's the only clean thing I have.
You know that's not a plate, right?
They're all dirty.
Crista, show Diego how to use the dishwasher.
We have a dishwasher?
It's George. Yola's husband.
I don't understand how Yola could have married that geezer?
He found a Brazilian for this weekend's interagency game!
-He can't pull that Cachirules shit! -What's a Cachirules?
-He made him an account executive. -So we're screwed.
No! None of that. You'd better win this year.
I won't have Yola gloating again, because her husband beat you
even though he's incontinent. So do something.
She's right, Dad.
That geezer wastes oxygen just to make fun of you.
-Exactly! -Relax.
This year I have a secret weapon.
Right, Diego?
I still remember the day we met. You were sweeping my aunt's beauty salon.
My life made a 360 degree turn the day I met you.
Which is why I must know. Will you marry me?
What the hell! The plastic covers are gone.
They made my butt sweat. But it'll be a pain to get that out.
I'll clean it up.
I've cleaned tougher stains, like once I was all alone,
and I spilled a bottle of wine on the futon.
I had to use Clarasol, bleach, vinegar.
-Mom, can I have some more soda? -Sure.
I'll take care of it. And I'll fold the laundry.
Have a seat. Mariana Fernanda is about to be unmasked.
Have a seat.
-Thank you. -And I'll get your sandwiches.
Let's go.
Sorry, Dad.
What's wrong, Diego? I paid Rafa Márquez to coach you.
He only had eyes for Crista.
He said I was a natural.
Of course you are.
You're the team's most beautiful asset, our good luck charm.
Diego, I told Silvia we'd win.
You know how women get if you don't keep a promise.
What can I do?
Sorry, Dad!
A ball moves at 100 kph.
How many meters does it travel in 20 seconds?
Listen, Pablito. Nobody cares.
If the ball misses the goal, what's the point?
Yeah, but I need to study to retake a physics test.
But you're right. I don't care. I'll flunk anyway.
I can get you the test from a secret contact of mine.
-Remember how I taught that girl to drive? -You screwed her already?
No, we posted a video that got a lot of likes, look.
No, just one glance and I'll go to jail for watching child porn.
They have a tough time inside.
-It's not porn. -It's not love either.
It's my debut in the influencer world. All my followers are cool.
One is a really famous guy, big, strong, and handsome, look.
What, nephew?
If I didn't know you better, I'd think you were gay.
It's very simple.
Trash is separated into organic.
Non-organic.
Glass, aluminum cans, and PET.
That sucks, even trash is discriminated.
I didn't know you were back, Cata.
Yeah, she moved in with me. We've become very close.
We laughed all through breakfast. Right, Cata?
I get along with my domestic worker amazingly well, and I don't mean to brag,
but she was deported from Houston, so she speaks English.
Cata is bilingual too, she speaks Spanish, and probably a native language.
Right, Cata?
I'm a city girl. I only speak Spanish.
If your new worker is so good, why are you taking out the trash?
Because she went to get gas for the car.
She helps out with the car duties and stuff like that.
-What's your maid's name? -Libo.
Liboria, but we call her Libo.
My phone just vibrated. It's Libo.
A message from Libo, she's bringing
the groceries.
I'll wait for her.
Right.
-Bye, neighbor. -Bye.
Listen to me.
I need someone who can kick the ball even if he can't score goals.
Chivis, I'm speaking with Peláez.
-What? I need to balance my energy. -Just a sec.
Can you believe it? That taxi driver stole my Cat!
Didn't the taxi driver save you from being run over?
No, she tripped and fell on top of me,
which is very different, that doesn't mean she can steal my Cat!
So, tell Cata to come back, honey.
-No! She'll hold it over me. -Yes.
Remember she asked me to be her niece's godmother
in exchange for getting my ring out of the drain. Never!
Yes. You're right.
How about it, champ?
Who's banging a gong like it's church?
Get it, honey.
Never mind, Ricardo. I just found my star.
My good man, Genaro! How are you guys?
What size shirt do you wear?
To replace the Brody jersey you kept for smashing your cheap trophy?
No, but I'll have a number ten jersey made just for you.
I can see you in it. I want you to play for my agency.
I'd love to, but you know what?
I hurt my knee.
Nobody dribbles toilet tissue like that with a bad knee.
You're a star. Right?
I have a crucial game this weekend.
My wife will kill me if we lose. You know what angry women are like.
The rich ones too?
Yes, although the Botox helps hide it. Help me out, will you?
Alright Pablito.
When you're dancing to reggaeton,
you can move forward like this, to bring the fire down here.
Or you can move backwards to show off your butt.
Show me how you dance? Let's see.
No! Wait! Pablito, you gotta be kidding!
Am I really that bad?
-Stop! That's enough! -No wonder I'm always sitting at parties.
Turn it down. I can't hear over this noise.
This is private. That's why the door was shut.
Turns out that Pablito bats for the other team.
But I don't even like baseball.
Just because he's a momma's boy and horror films make him pee
doesn't mean he's gay.
I'm gay just because the movie The Ring scared me?
No, Tomás is just being totally hetero-normative.
Yes!
There are lots of categories. Let's see which you relate too.
Even if there are thousands, we all know there's just two.
There's the top and there's the pillow-biters.
You believe in Our Lady of the Holy Death?
It's my plan to get my Cat back from the neighbor.
Now that you mention her, I invited her husband to play.
He's great.
You know how ghetto people have soccer in their blood.
I don't care how you do it.
But you better win that fucking game!
Done.
Ta-da!
Right? How do you like that?
Libo, honey!
Go to bed!
Libo just keeps going.
The neighbor's crazy.
You think they want you on the team to steal Cata from us?
Maybe he just saw that I'm a great player?
Whatever the reason, baby. He can help me meet lots of rich guys.
I might even get a job.
It's not who you are, but who you know.
Like Palazuelos and Luis Miguel.
President Miguel Alemán's kid made them famous.
-Where did you learn all that, honey? -From here.
Seriously, trust me.
This is my big break. I just know it!
Who knows? Maybe, you're right.
Show them you're a top striker, honey. Make one goal after another.
You look great.
Much more rested.
Thanks.
I haven't exercised this much since high school.
Here's your fat-burning green juice, but it doesn't do miracles.
It's better than nothing.
Libo, thank you!
That was the best breakfast ever.
I loved it. Thank you.
Have my green juice ready when I come back, please.
There's no need to freak out.
You just need to open up to your sexuality.
I totally agree. That's why I did my homework.
This test is from a very reliable source, Pablito.
This might help.
-What if it's uncool? -Relax. No category is uncool.
No.
"Do you prefer Ricky Martin or Banda Machos?"
-Ricky Martin. -Shit! Me too.
-"Do you use any facial creams?" -Just the Nivea Grandma gave me.
Me too, it really makes your skin soft as a baby's butt.
-Yes. -Right, Pablito?
Have you been to a gay bar?
-Yes. -No.
I walked in by accident, but it was cool. It was dark and I saw some hot blondes.
This isn't a serious test, please!
Let me see.
Never mind. I know what my group is.
-See? -I'm a NOYDB.
None of your damn business. Okay?
Read this instead. It might help.
Sexual Diversity for Dummies.
SEXUAL DIVERSITY FOR DUMMIES
Caitlyn Jenner is cuter as a woman, right?
This is for your many years of service.
Libo wanted it, but I remembered you always stole it.
I mean, borrowed it.
-Thank you, ma'am. -You're welcome.
Hi, neighbor!
-How's it going with Libo? -Awesome. Yes!
But she's not like you, Cat, dear. You're almost like family.
How many Christmases have we spent together?
-Serving dinner. -Yes, but we were together.
It's vibrating! It's Libo.
Because she's cooking the most divine roast!
Cat.
If you get tired of having beans every day,
my refrigerator door is always open if you decide to come back.
Ma'am, I'm so sorry, but
I have more clothes than you, and designer brands.
Okay, you can have anything you want in the house.
I want your bedroom.
And your bathroom.
No! Wait! What's the matter?
-I can't get in the mood in this tiny bed. -You need a king size bed now?
Let's switch sides.
I hadn't thought of that.
Here I come.
Golly, honey.
I think something else is bothering you. What is it? Spit it out.
It's the game.
I'm afraid of screwing it up like always.
And I'll miss my chance to impress the rich guys.
Control yourself, honey, focus. Don't let Genaro from the ghetto come out.
When he appears, everything goes down the drain.
Speaking of which, why did you let Cata take over our house?
So that dumb blonde doesn't steal her away with gifts.
It's my fault you're blind and in a coma.
Why did I give her chocolate-dipped strawberries?
Can I have a soda, Cata?
Never mind, Cata, I'll get it.
Ready, guys? Are you taping it for me?
Of course, Genarito.
-Leo, get my arnica pills. -Right.
-Let's go. -And my warm shawl.
-Right. -And the strategy board.
-Right. -And my book.
Right. Wait for me.
Pills, shawl, strategy board.
Wait for me!
Come on, Pablito!
Wait!
Let's go!
Come on, guys!
-Over here. -Shoot!
Go! Press! Pressure from the top!
Reynoso on the field!
-Hector Reynoso? -He's my new account executive.
You'll be sorry this time, George.
That's it!
Nice move!
Over here, Ernesto!
Block it!
That's okay. Next time.
Let's go, team!
Damn cachirul!
Go for it, Dad! Go!
Let's go!
-Here. -Great.
-Any sandwiches? -Here.
-And my board. -Thanks, Mom.
-My board. -Here.
Is she really gonna sell tacos during the game?
-Move! Donkeys aren't transparent. -I'm not a donkey!
Stop distracting me.
Go stripes!
-Why is he playing in an office league? -He's my new account executive.
He's left footed! He'll block you in the middle!
-You'd make a great manager. -Please don't distract me or we'll lose.
Tere and my uncle want me to define my sexuality
to understand why I use acne cream.
-Have you decided? -Do you care about that stuff?
Because they won't let girls play.
Go, Dad!
Goal!
Yes! Goal!
You guys suck!
No wonder you're on the Chivas team and the bench!
Look!
I think Genaro's turning into Genaro Ghetto.
-Let's hope he doesn't grab their balls. -I hope not. Oh my God!
You won't reply to my messages?
We're on the same team.
Your dad's on our team. You're the enemy.
What a hater!
Hater, classist, rich kid. You love labels.
You should sell clothes.
Goal!
That's how you kick a ball, losers!
No wonder you never qualified even with Ramoncito!
-Come on. -I'm number ten! My name is Genaro López!
Referee! Foul!
Referee!
-What's going on? -Get up.
That was obviously a foul!
-Keep playing. -Come on!
-It was a clean move. -Johnny attacked me.
-Shut up. -Are you blind or what?
Shut up!
-Number ten! -What now!
Coward!
No! Not again!
Coward!
Goal!
SWEAT YOUR SHIRT FOR HISTORY
When you lose, who'll get your Kleenex, now that Cata is gone?
Libo, my new maid.
It's not maid but domestic worker, even if it's harder to say.
And where's your fabulous Libo?
Who knows? Maybe at her place with her boyfriend.
My domestic worker is off Sundays, unlike others.
That's it
Goal!
-No! -It's a tie!
Kid, tell your dad to do this.
Go down the side. They always leave it open.
Everyone already knows that!
-Really? -Dad, one minute!
We need to give it all we got. Right?
Hey, Dad! Substitution!
Yes?
Good. Okay.
Lupercio. Substitution.
Diego.
-Go, Diego! -Just a minute.
Good, with my Dieguito on the field we're sure to win, you'll see.
Diego!
-What do I do? -Block the goalkeeper!
Come in.
Goal!
We won!
I told you Diego is the best!
Whatever. You won because of that slumdog.
We did it!
-Crista. -Come.
I'm glad you told me to stand there. Why won't Dad let you play?
You're a champ!
And you're sexist, which isn't cool anymore.
Crista is right, Dad. She told me to block him.
She knows more about it than we do.
Typical Hollywood ending.
The good guys win thanks to the hunk who is also the worst guy on the team.
-No, we won thanks to Dad. -Right.
I've been thinking, Pablito. That questionnaire is completely lame.
-You don't have any identity issues. -I don't.
But she's a tomboy. So you don't stand a chance with her.
This plus this plus this.
What? The problem isn't her or him.
The problem is you think all women who play soccer are lesbians.
It's true.
You can be anything you want, except a jerk.
Leonor.
Don't take this the wrong way but I can't work for you anymore.
Why not? You hardly do anything anyway.
Try to understand, it's not you, it's me.
Cata, honey, come here.
Come here.
God be with you.
I know you don't get it now.
What if the ball hits your face?
You'll never forgive me for disfiguring you.
Forgive me, honey.
But if you're still interested,
I still need a great woman to be manager.
How are Libo's sandwiches?
She probably bought these.
Sil never learned how to make them. She misses you a lot.
Diego.
So you were their secret weapon.
-Top secret. Not even I knew. -I finally got that idiot Yola to shut up.
Great. You still got any of those sandwiches you bought?
I made them myself.
No way! They're great, Sil. You're a total master chef.
Mrs. Silvia.
I'd like
to tell you I want to come back.
Finally! Why?
The truth is I miss you very much.
But if you're happy with Libo…
No, Libo got her green card and she went back to Houston.
She already left.
So you can come back.
But from now on, the sandwiches…
I'll make them.
Where's Cata, Mom?
I'm glad you asked, son, because thanks to Cata, I realized
that you guys are abusive and I love you, and you're a bunch of lazy bums.
It's my fault for not pampering myself first,
so from now on I need some time for myself.
To see how I look in a mirror or get a manicure
or workout to get super sexy if I feel like it.
Well? Move.
-I'll take this. -I need this thing.
-Go ahead. -Thanks.
Go on, your hands aren't that delicate.
I said it!
It was perfect.
You finally did it.
I thought I'd die before seeing you win.
Is this your new guy, Ernie?
Or is he a cachirul?
No way, Mr. George, I'm Genaro López.
You saw my work on the field and I'm as good at the agency.
Very good! If you ever quit working for this loser,
you know where to find me.
That guy's a rich mummy.
Ernie, either hire me for your agency's creative team,
or I'll work for the mummy.
It's a deal. See you tomorrow.
But not a word to my wife.
Genaro López, the agency's creative editor!
Subtitle translation by: Ricardo Espinoza