So, Dad, is that like a new puffin thing? You gonna get Mom one of those every year?
Do you know how long it took him to win me this?
The kid said my form was excellent.
Sorry, what's the puffin thing?
Okay. It was a cool October night 23 years ago,
and a young Miss Cassandra Hubbard was on her very first date
with the one such Dustard John Hubbard--
Wait, your name is Dustard Hubbard?
Mr. Hubbard's fine.
And Dustard wanted to play the Bust-a-Balloon
because he wanted to win a stuffed puffin because...
Well, 'cause Cass said it was cute.
Yes, and so he stepped right up. And he threw dart after dart,
and he failed to puncture even a single balloon.
Those games are basically rigged.
However, my dad returned later that night
and paid off the kid who was working at the Bust-a-Balloon
for every single puffin he had,
so that he could give one to my mom every single year for her birthday.
And that's how sure he was that they'd be together forever.
That is so sweet. But you left out the best part, Trina.
I was operating the Ferris wheel that night,
and your dad paid me 20 bucks to stop it at the top
so he could get a little extra time with your mom.
So just, like, a light kidnapping?
That's what it sounds like.
At the time it was known as romance.
I had totally forgotten that was you that I paid off.
Well, guess I don't leave much of an impression.
Hey, you kids wanna try the mechanical bull?
Looks like there isn't a big line right now.
Do you wanna try it again?
No. Man. I mean, I could go again just to mess with people.
How's that messing with people?
Just because, you know, everyone thinks I'm so obsessed with this cowboy shit,
I could lean into it.
- As a goof. Yeah. - Hey, well, I'll go with you, Mr. Kovac.
- All right, partner. - Howdy.
- Let's do it. - Giddyap.
- Yeehaw. - Let's go goof 'em.
Have a good one, old buddy.
I cannot remember a single thing about that guy from high school.
Apart from the time
that he barfed at the botanical gardens.
You know, I remember that story very differently.
- Why? Where do you think he barfed? - No, the puffin story.
I never actually said that I thought puffins were cute.
I think you did, Cass.
No, you said, "Aren't these puffins cute?" And I said, "Yes."
Because, you know, I wanted you to like me.
Well, there was really no need to do that. I liked you from the start.
Yeah. Keep stirring, boys. I don't want my noodles congealing.
Remember, it's mi famiglia, not mi "congealia."
- Giorgio! How's it going? - Hey, what's up, Nat?
It's going pretty great, thanks. Yeah, it's no biggie.
I'm just kinda worried about the storm.
You know? I'm trying to make this pasta pit for the kids.
And the spaghetti gets very heavy when it's wet,
and I don't wanna crush a child to death.
- Yeah. - You know? How you guys doing?
We're fabulous.
You remember my daughter Savannah, from my ex-husband Mike?
Of course. I've actually been meaning to talk to you, Savannah.
Why?
Well, at the gala, I heard you saying
that you didn't wanna go to France just because you got "French."
And I want you to listen to me, okay?
France could screw off. Okay?
I apologize for the salty language.
But as a man who was pressurized as a little boy
to become a superstar hockey player,
I as Giorgio would like to know what you as Savannah would like to do.
Well, I've actually been getting into chess.
Chess! Yes, I love it.
Rooks and bishops and following your heart.
That, Savannah, is the stuff that superstars are made of.
Well, there you have it, from one superstar to another.
Giorgio.
I just wanted to say that I heard that Cass spurned your advances,
and for what it's worth,
she is probably the only woman in the whole world
who would say no to you.
Maybe the only woman in the history of civilization.
If you wanna go back that far.
- I'm gonna go somewhere else, Mom. - Okay, call me.
Sorry, Savannah still gets uncomfortable when I flirt with handsome men
who aren't her father in front of her.
I guess she doesn't really want a stepdad.
Whatever happened with you and Mikey?
He was kind of a jerk.
He was also very hairy, and I'm just not into that.
You know, I like to see a man's skin,
like even skull skin.
A bald man is very sexy to me.
Well, that is a very interesting perspective that you have there, Natalie.
I am sure you're gonna make
a lucky bald man very happy one day.
- We'll see. Bye. - Bye.
Okay, just to warn you,
- I am exceptionally good at this. - Okay.
Like, I practice on the bottles at Johnson's all the time.
- Yes! Did you see that? You saw that. - You actually got that. Yeah, totally!
Well, now I feel bad.
No, we've had enough feeling bad, and-- Thank you.
And look, you can't feel bad because now you have this.
Sick. So how does this work?
I just come back here later and buy enough of these for, like, 30 years?
Yeah, because you know what I'm looking for in a guy?
Someone who's exactly like my dad.
I thought you were looking for someone like my brother?
Oh, shit. Okay, so we're joking about that already?
Jokes are for always.
Okay, but seriously, like, no offense to my parents,
but if I'm still with someone who I met in high school,
like, 30 years from now,
I will literally throw myself right off a cliff.
So you won't be with me then?
Like, 30 years from now?
I don't know. Do you plan on being with me in 30 years?
Like, this is our first real date, so...
I know. It's just kind of an intense thing to say on a first date.
Like, you know definitively that you don't wanna be with me.
It's not definitive. Nothing's definitive.
But yeah, I'm, like, pretty sure I don't wanna be with only one person
- for the rest of my life. - Yeah. I totally get that.
It's just funny that after everything we've been through,
to put that out there right out of the gate,
to know that you're already breaking up with me,
it's like, "Great. This doesn't feel pointless."
So--
So something's pointless because it ends one day?
- What? - I'm sorry.
Do you mind if we just take it slow?
Hana, this is already the most action I've had in years.
- We can take it as slow as you want. - Okay, perfect.
Maybe next time we do this at my place?
Okay, sir, you let yourself into my bedroom.
I didn't know it was your bedroom,
okay?
I just hope we can find the guys who robbed you.
Okay, this is actually a lot of stuff for me.
- Really? You don't want more stuff? - No, I hate stuff.
It's like a hangover from boarding school days.
They don't allow you to have a lot of personal items, so...
I didn't know you went to boarding school.
Really? It's usually the first thing that I tell people.
'Cause I just love when people look at me the way that you're looking at me now.
What? Well, how am I looking at you?
Like I'm some privileged little rich bitch snob or something.
I don't think you're privileged.
Okay, there were a few other words in there.
Well, maybe being a boarding school girl was just your arrow.
What do you mean "arrow"?
Well, the thing you needed to be told about yourself to get to something else.
That's what Dusty Hubbard thinks the MORPHO's all about.
You're listening to Dusty Hubbard now?
I mean, look at me.
Even if that "Priest" card I found wasn't meant for me, it saved my life.
It gave me a sense of purpose.
It brought me out of myself and allowed me to move on
in a way that some random potential never would.
I was alone, and I had no one, and that card brought me here.
It led me...
to you.
Right.
What?
Nothing.
- I don't know. It's just-- - What did I say?
I don't really like the way you're, like, rewriting your narrative here.
What do you mean?
You're, like, making me a part of your sad story
- and expecting me to pity you. - No.
And it's, like, you're talking to someone who's actually alone
and has always been alone.
And you saying that you have no one when it's just not true.
You had friends. You had family.
And even when you found your card that night,
your father-in-law was there supporting you.
So please, don't--
- I never told you that. - What?
I never told you I was with my father-in-law.
Yes, you did. How else would I know that?
Okay, well, this is so dumb.
I mean, why are we fighting about this?
I'm going to get a bucket because I--
I actually don't really trust that whole duct tape thing.
And you and I are gonna get drunk,
and we're gonna keep making out like we're in middle school. Okay?
Okay.
All right. So, shall we get a roll of 50 tickets or--
That's probably too much?
Hi. So how much for just one ride on the Ferris wheel?
- How much is that? - Just get the 50,
in case I wanna kidnap you again.
I mean, why not? You can afford it.
I'm sorry what? I can afford it?
You know what, I wasn't gonna say anything,
but I went to your gala, and $100 is a lot for most people.
I mean, I guess not for "Royalty,"
but I am making eight dollars an hour right now.
And if what your mom said is true, and you're running a scam--
Okay, hold on there now--
- No. This is good. - What?
I'm actually-- I'm happy you said something.
Now, is your potential "Detective"?
No, it's "Tattoo Artist." I did Dusty's.
And you did a wonderful job, Liz.
Okay, 'cause it feels like you have it all figured out.
Yeah, 'cause my master plan was to defraud this entire town
out of a few thousand dollars,
and then trick people into thinking I was special
by building a machine that says that I'm royalty,
which is a potential both very fucking confusing--
- And how did you put it, Dusty? - Completely unattainable.
Yeah, completely unattainable.
And all I had to do to get everyone to go along with it
is to use all of my computer engineering skills
to somehow manipulate this machine into giving you and only you
a card that reads, "Tattoo Artist,"
which I'm guessing is a lifelong dream that you've never shared with anyone else?
Yeah.
Cass, maybe we should just get the tickets and go?
Okay. Attention! Attention, everyone! It is I, the evil genius
who figured out the secret hopes and dreams of everyone in this town,
and I used it against you.
And why?
To gain two dollars' worth of quarters
and to sell some fucking sweatshirts, of course. Duh!
You guys should bow.
- Cass! - 'Cause I'm your queen. Yeah, I'm the--
- What? - Please don't do this here.
- Not at Deerfest. - Okay, yeah,
because maybe we don't want witnesses to what I'm about to do to you.
No witnesses. Excuse us. Royal court coming through!
Good luck, honey.
I'm just gonna give the mechanical bull a try.
Cass. Let's just get this over with.
Just tell me what an awful human being I am and how much I've wronged you
and make yourself the victim, like you always do.
What in God's name is this?
- It's a hug. It's called a hug. - I don't need a hug.
I know. You don't need a hug. You don't need me.
Oh, Cass, don't be so dramatic.
I'm not being dramatic.
I'm just letting you know that you hurt me too many times.
Oh, please. We've both said things. That's what mothers and daughters do.
You know good and well that anything I say, I'm just protecting you.
You can let me go now.
Cass.
Okay.
You were there.
The night I found my card in the gutter, you were there.
Why didn't you say something when I met you here?
I didn't remember you at first.
I don't remember every drunk asshole I kick out of a bar.
And the collar was new.
You were the bartender.
And you were the asshole.
Getting wasted and picking a fight with anyone who looked at you.
Hence the kicking out.
Then your father-in-law, he came over and apologized to me,
and he said that you were just passing through town and wouldn't be back.
That you had just spread your wife's ashes and you weren't yourself.
His daughter.
- What? - It was his daughter too.
Yeah. So, I mean,
didn't really feel like something I should just bring up, you know?
Like, "Hey, small world, but I was there on the worst night of your life."
- But you were working there. - So?
So I was just passing through, but you were working there,
which means you were in another town where the MORPHO existed.
And you never brought it up.
So all this talk about, "I don't need that thing,"
or "a couple of months from now, no one's gonna be talking about this--"
Okay, well, you never told anyone about your card.
You kept that to yourself.
I had my reasons.
Yeah, well, I have my reasons too.
It's like-- I'm a person, you know?
It's like you wanna believe that this card, like, led you to me.
And it's, like, you don't even know me, dude.
I don't think anyone here knows you, Hana.
Look, I don't have any answers for you.
You need to stop looking for signs.
- Yes! I got it. - Stop it.
- No. You're so small. - I'm not-- Whatever.
- Do you want it? - Yeah.
- Hey. - Hey.
What happened in there? Did you murder your mother?
I think I've got a shovel in the car.
I just gave her a hug.
Wow. That is badass.
- Do you even wanna go on the Ferris wheel? - Yes. Yes, let's do it.
You know, you don't have to say yes just because I wanna do it.
It's cold. It might rain. Our bums might get wet.
I don't know. I think we'll survive.
Hey. How the hell do you get out of here? I'm going in circles.
Isn't that the point?
Useless. Useless generation.
- Hello? - Is this Isabelle Fontaine?
This is Mayor Fontaine. Who's this?
This is Dr. Woods. Am I catching you at a bad time?
I don't even know how to answer that question.
What do you want?
I'm here with Mr. Johnson-- Walter Johnson,
and he's had a cardiac event.
What is a cardiac event? What does that mean?
He had a heart attack.
Well, is he okay?
He is. He's a little confused, but I spoke with him a few minutes ago.
Well, why are you telling me this?
Are you just calling everybody in town and telling them the news?
No. I'm so sorry.
It's been hard to get clear communication with him,
but I thought you might be his wife.
You thought I might be his wife? Honey, I'm gay.
What on earth would make you think that?
Well, he has you listed as his emergency contact.
That's how I got your number.
He doesn't have anyone else?
I guess not.
Are you still there?
Can I speak to him?
He's resting right now.
Where is he? Where-- He's in w-- He's in the hospital?
Yes, but he's just been admitted, so--
Tell him I'm coming.
Okay.
Oh, shit!
Holy shit. Oh, my God.
Shit, kid. What was that?
Dusty, did you do that?
Did I turn off the power in the whole town,
so I could get a few minutes alone with my wife on the top of a Ferris wheel?
No. Wish I'd thought of it though.
Okay. Are we good up here?
Yeah. Yeah, we're fine. We're fine.
I mean, we're just sitting in a metal box suspended in the sky
in the middle of a potential lightning storm.
- Hello? - Hon.
- Okay. - That wasn't ideal, was it? Okay.
- Dusty, be careful. - I'm all right. Hey. Is--
Can anybody move this thing? Is there a lever or something?
Hey, Dusty.
Hello, you.
- Who is that? - Nobody.
Just a friend.
Did the power go out? We were having sex.
In a moving Ferris wheel?
Jesus Christ, Hawaii.
Can somebody help us, please?
Dusty, is that you?
Giorgio.
- Oh, D, I'm gonna climb up there! - Giorgio, no! It's too dangerous!
D, I'm coming for you right now.
I just gotta find-- I gotta find something tall.
- You could use my bucket truck. - Okay, thank you, sir.
But I don't think a truck full of buckets is gonna help.
No, I work for the power company,
and my truck-- It has a bucket. It's a crane.
Like a cherry picker.
Bro, are you gonna tell me you have a cherry picker?
- I call that a cherry picker. - Cherry picker.
Here, take my keys.
Okay. Well, that was a bad throw, dawg. That was a bad throw. Plus, it's dark.
- Or else I never would have missed. - Giorgio, can you just go?
- Yeah. - Thank you.
- You okay? - I just hope Trina's okay.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I saw her with Jacob earlier.
God, she looked so happy. They both did. And they look so fucking young.
- Oh my God. - They're babies.
I mean, literal sweet-faced, baby-faced babies.
I don't remember ever feeling that young.
I mean not even when we were that young.
Making choices that would affect the rest of our lives.
Yeah, well, we were.
I don't know, Cass,
what it means if our arrows are pointing in different directions.
I don't know.
And if my potential has something to do with the last time we were apart,
maybe...
maybe we should see what it feels like being apart for a bit.
I mean, maybe your potential is only completely unattainable
while you're with me.
But doesn't it feel like we're supposed to find out?
Did you know that puffins are monogamous?
Did you know that puffins were monogamous?
Well, it was in some book that you gave me
as, like, a stocking stuffer or something.
And it said that the male puffin and the female puffin
will go on separate journeys for about eight months out of the year.
Just apart.
But somehow, they always find their way back to each other.
But we're not puffins.
- I'm not scared. - Oh, yeah?
At all. Yeah.
'Cause this is wood. And lightning hates wood, so...
Also, now that the power's out,
we can fully make out in public, and no one can give us dirty looks.
Or I can use this as an opportunity to sneak off and leave you
since we're gonna break up.
Wow. Okay, so we're joking about that now?
Jokes are for always.
Yeah. Well, this is already more moments than I ever thought I'd get with you.
So, I would say it's a pretty big win for me.
Overall.
So when are we making out?
Right now.
Jacob!
Trina!
Jacob!
Hello? Help me!
- Who's that? Is there someone in there? - It's Mayor Fontaine!
Mayor Fontaine, are you all right?
No! I can barely see my hands in front of my damn face,
and my darn knee is acting up again.
Okay. Don't panic.
- Who is this? - It's Beau.
Who is Beau?
He's the guy who's gonna get you out of there.
- Hey. - Hey.
Okay, I'm gonna take D first 'cause he seems more scared.
I am not more scared.
Just take Cass. Take Cass.
- Okay, Cassie. I got you. I got you, Cass. - Okay.
- I've got you. - Keep steady.
- We've both got you. There you go. - That's nice, Cassie. Nice.
- Dusty, you got me? - I got you.
- Yep. Okay, sweetheart. - Okay.
I'm bringing you down.
Oh, my God, Giorgio! That was amazing. We saved the town.
Hey, Nat. You know how you said that Savannah doesn't want a stepdad?
Yeah.
How about a step-Giorgio?
- Izzy, are you still there? - Yeah?
Yes! What took you so long?
I'm sorry. They made me leave this thing at bag check.
- What thing? - This thing.
Oh, my God.
Thank you.
You're safe now, Izzy.
What are you doing? I can walk on my own.
I'd prefer to carry you, ma'am.
Come on then.
It's starting to rain.
Hey, where are you guys? We're passing Dear Izzy.
Wait, I see you.
- I don't see you guys. - Mom! Dad!
There she is. There she-- Hey!
- You all right? - Yeah.
Yeah?
What happened to Beau?
I don't know. We got separated. Are you guys okay?
- Yeah. Yeah, we're fine. - Yeah.
We nearly got electrocuted,
- but we're fine. - Yeah.
What's that?
What does it say?
"Are you ready for the next stage?"
It's never done that before.