1
00:00:40,710 --> 00:00:43,130
("LOVE" BY MICHAEL BUBLÉ PLAYING)

2
00:00:54,140 --> 00:00:55,440
(GUN COCKS)

3
00:00:57,980 --> 00:00:59,020
(LOUD BURST)

4
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:11,660
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

5
00:01:12,790 --> 00:01:14,080
(SIGHS DEEPLY)

6
00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:18,500
MAN 1: There she is!

7
00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:20,590
(CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)

8
00:01:21,300 --> 00:01:22,450
Gloria!

9
00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:23,910
Hi.

10
00:01:24,110 --> 00:01:25,110
Welcome!

11
00:01:25,190 --> 00:01:26,740
- You look great.
- Thank you!

12
00:01:26,940 --> 00:01:29,120
- Darcy, where have you been?
- Hey! Hi!

13
00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:31,750
I was just taking a minute.
Is that allowed?

14
00:01:31,950 --> 00:01:33,210
Not at your wedding.

15
00:01:33,410 --> 00:01:35,790
- Your Ketel One martini.
- Oh.

16
00:01:35,990 --> 00:01:37,560
<i>Obrigada,</i> Jerome.

17
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,510
Where is the groomzilla?

18
00:01:40,710 --> 00:01:42,510
Tom is not a groomzilla, okay?

19
00:01:42,710 --> 00:01:46,260
He just committed to making
every detail perfect.

20
00:01:46,460 --> 00:01:49,390
You should have taken your father's money
for this wedding.

21
00:01:49,590 --> 00:01:52,890
Then, professionals would make
everything <i>perfecto</i> for you.

22
00:01:53,090 --> 00:01:54,690
Mom, I've told you. We are adults

23
00:01:54,890 --> 00:01:58,610
and we wanted to pay for our own wedding
so it could be what we wanted.

24
00:01:58,810 --> 00:02:01,250
And this is what you wanted?

25
00:02:01,710 --> 00:02:02,990
That was a printing error.

26
00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:05,780
("LOVE" BY MICHAEL BUBLÉ
CONTINUES PLAYING)

27
00:02:05,980 --> 00:02:11,790
<i>♪ E is even more than
Anyone that you adore ♪</i>

28
00:02:11,990 --> 00:02:18,480
<i>♪ And love is all
That I can give to you ♪</i>

29
00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:24,690
<i>♪ Love is more than
Just a game for two ♪</i>

30
00:02:25,940 --> 00:02:29,150
<i>♪ Two in love can make it ♪</i>

31
00:02:30,910 --> 00:02:32,350
(DRILL WHIRRING)

32
00:02:32,550 --> 00:02:37,230
<i>♪ Love was made
For me and you ♪</i>

33
00:02:37,430 --> 00:02:38,650
- Hoy!
- (CLICKING)

34
00:02:38,850 --> 00:02:39,850
Oh! Oh!

35
00:02:43,210 --> 00:02:44,990
Oh! Hey!

36
00:02:45,190 --> 00:02:47,110
Oh, I almost shoot you!

37
00:02:47,310 --> 00:02:49,280
I thought you're a pirate
but you're just a guy.

38
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,870
- (GUARD LAUGHING)
- (GRUNTS)

39
00:02:52,070 --> 00:02:55,350
(SIGHS) Ah, this is for your bride, huh?

40
00:02:56,390 --> 00:02:58,290
TOM: Yeah, trying to surprise her.

41
00:02:58,490 --> 00:03:00,800
I saw something just like it on Etsy,

42
00:03:00,990 --> 00:03:04,360
and it looked perfect,
but now I'm not so sure.

43
00:03:05,020 --> 00:03:08,090
Now, I wanna be romantic
but not too corny.

44
00:03:08,290 --> 00:03:10,070
There's a really fine line
between the two.

45
00:03:11,700 --> 00:03:13,490
Aren't you supposed to be over there?

46
00:03:14,490 --> 00:03:16,690
Your rehearsal party.

47
00:03:16,890 --> 00:03:17,910
Oh, my God!

48
00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:21,480
I need you to talk
to your father's yoga teacher.

49
00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:23,530
- Girlfriend?
- Yeah, whatever.

50
00:03:23,730 --> 00:03:25,490
She keeps smiling at me.

51
00:03:25,690 --> 00:03:28,530
Can you tell her to stop smiling at me?

52
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:29,730
Yes, Mom.

53
00:03:29,820 --> 00:03:32,080
I will tell Dad's girlfriend
to stop smiling at you.

54
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,620
That won't cause any issues.

55
00:03:33,820 --> 00:03:36,500
Also, I cannot sit at a table
with Tom's mother.

56
00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:41,170
On the boat here, she tried to start
a sing-along to <i>South Pacific.</i>

57
00:03:41,370 --> 00:03:43,050
She's excited. Okay?

58
00:03:43,250 --> 00:03:45,130
She's never been out
of the country before.

59
00:03:45,330 --> 00:03:47,056
What kind of a grown woman
has never left the country?

60
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:48,896
Please, Mom, for two days,
can you just get along with...

61
00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:50,140
Carol!

62
00:03:50,340 --> 00:03:52,930
♪ <i>I'm gonna wash that man</i>
<i>Right outta my hair ♪</i>

63
00:03:53,130 --> 00:03:56,390
♪ <i>I'm gonna wash that man</i>
<i>Right outta my hair ♪</i>

64
00:03:56,590 --> 00:03:59,270
♪ <i>And send him on his way ♪</i>

65
00:03:59,470 --> 00:04:01,120
(BOTH LAUGHING)

66
00:04:02,250 --> 00:04:03,696
I've been looking forward to this moment

67
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:06,070
ever since baby Tommy
was cut out of my abdomen.

68
00:04:06,270 --> 00:04:07,740
- (LAUGHS FORCEFULLY)
- Oh, my God,

69
00:04:07,940 --> 00:04:09,910
I have never been
on a private island before.

70
00:04:10,110 --> 00:04:12,620
I've never been even on an island before.

71
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:14,166
Actually, you know what? That's not true.

72
00:04:14,190 --> 00:04:16,471
I went with the Heibermans.
We went to Mackinac, you know,

73
00:04:16,570 --> 00:04:18,180
before they moved to Bloomington.

74
00:04:18,930 --> 00:04:20,710
Have you ever been to Mackinac, Renata?

75
00:04:20,910 --> 00:04:23,840
I don't know what that is
or most of the words you just said.

76
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:25,920
CAROL: Wouldn't she just love it, Larry?

77
00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:27,340
Oh. Hi, Darcy.

78
00:04:27,540 --> 00:04:28,540
Hey, Larry.

79
00:04:28,620 --> 00:04:30,130
I didn't see you there. (LAUGHS)

80
00:04:30,330 --> 00:04:31,720
- Hi.
- LARRY: Hi, Renata.

81
00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,400
CAROL: Guess what? We got you a gift.

82
00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:35,276
- Oh, you didn't have to.
- CAROL: Yes, we did.

83
00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:36,980
It's the biggest day
of our lives tomorrow.

84
00:04:37,090 --> 00:04:38,156
What are you talking about?

85
00:04:38,180 --> 00:04:40,370
- Come on, open it.
- Okay. (CHUCKLES)

86
00:04:41,750 --> 00:04:43,770
- Larry, she's opening.
- I get... Oh.

87
00:04:43,970 --> 00:04:45,110
Ah-uh-huh.

88
00:04:45,310 --> 00:04:47,290
Oh. Someone just left that
in the bathroom.

89
00:04:50,130 --> 00:04:51,910
TOM: Oh, you're a lifesaver, Margy.

90
00:04:52,110 --> 00:04:53,510
I cannot believe I'm late for this.

91
00:04:53,570 --> 00:04:54,850
The guests are already mingling,

92
00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:57,930
and your Darcy is talking
to both the mothers.

93
00:05:00,310 --> 00:05:02,470
Oh, no. Go. Go, go, go, go, go, go.

94
00:05:03,890 --> 00:05:05,100
DARCY: Oh!

95
00:05:05,810 --> 00:05:08,300
RENATA: You got my daughter rusty knives?

96
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:10,510
It's your "something borrowed."

97
00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:13,050
Everyone in our family uses
them on their wedding day.

98
00:05:13,250 --> 00:05:15,350
Brings you a lifetime of good luck.

99
00:05:15,550 --> 00:05:16,560
Except for Uncle Greg

100
00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,350
who ended up getting
decapitated on that forklift.

101
00:05:19,550 --> 00:05:21,190
But that's not the knife's fault.

102
00:05:21,380 --> 00:05:22,520
MAN: Darcy!

103
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,080
Dad!

104
00:05:24,660 --> 00:05:26,440
(PRAISES IN SPANISH)

105
00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:28,150
<i>- Gracias.</i>
- BOTH: Mm.

106
00:05:28,350 --> 00:05:30,360
- (CAROL LAUGHING)
- Carol, you look lovely.

107
00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:32,420
(KISSING) Mm. Mm.

108
00:05:33,090 --> 00:05:34,160
Larry, hello, sir.

109
00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:35,626
- LARRY: Hey!
- I'm gonna kiss you too.

110
00:05:35,650 --> 00:05:37,030
- Oh.
- Mm.

111
00:05:37,230 --> 00:05:39,090
- Sorry. Done?
- Yeah, okay.

112
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:42,180
Renata.

113
00:05:42,770 --> 00:05:44,020
Roberto.

114
00:05:45,310 --> 00:05:47,850
I love that you two are still friends.

115
00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:49,670
- Peekaboo! (CHUCKLES)
- Oh.

116
00:05:49,870 --> 00:05:51,050
Hi!

117
00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:53,010
BOTH: Mwah. Mwah.

118
00:05:53,210 --> 00:05:55,240
Mm!

119
00:05:55,690 --> 00:05:59,470
Oh, Darcy, I am so honored to bear witness

120
00:05:59,670 --> 00:06:02,910
to this sacred observance
of rebirth and devotion.

121
00:06:03,990 --> 00:06:06,620
- Same.
- Thank you. (CHUCKLES)

122
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:09,650
(GASPS) Renata.

123
00:06:09,850 --> 00:06:11,920
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)

124
00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:16,030
I need to go to the ladies' room.

125
00:06:16,230 --> 00:06:17,530
CAROL: Hey, me too.

126
00:06:17,730 --> 00:06:20,720
When I'm in formal wear,
I like to pee standing up. How about you?

127
00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:23,960
- Sorry.
- That's okay.

128
00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:25,270
Thank you, Margy.

129
00:06:28,020 --> 00:06:29,020
Oh, hey.

130
00:06:31,860 --> 00:06:33,470
- Hey.
- TOM: How are you?

131
00:06:33,670 --> 00:06:34,980
(DARCY SIGHS)

132
00:06:36,110 --> 00:06:37,720
- Oh.
- (WHISPERS) Oh, my God.

133
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:39,030
- That's for you.
- Thanks.

134
00:06:39,450 --> 00:06:40,450
Big <i>papi.</i>

135
00:06:40,590 --> 00:06:42,390
- My man. Mwah.
- (ROBERT GRUNTS)

136
00:06:42,590 --> 00:06:44,890
- This... I just...
- Nice to see you, Dad.

137
00:06:45,090 --> 00:06:47,060
<i>- Señor.</i>
- Let's just, uh, stick

138
00:06:47,260 --> 00:06:48,656
- with "Robert" for a little while.
- (HARRIETT CHUCKLES)

139
00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,076
- Right. Robert.
- HARRIETT: Tom, I heard

140
00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:52,070
you were the one who found
this incredible resort.

141
00:06:52,270 --> 00:06:54,030
- Yeah. I did.
- Yes.

142
00:06:54,230 --> 00:06:57,360
I actually study bioresonance,
and this place is

143
00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:58,950
teeming with energetic vibrations.

144
00:06:59,150 --> 00:07:00,950
- DARCY: Mm.
- ROBERT: It's just like

145
00:07:01,150 --> 00:07:02,910
- our room teeming with bugs.
- (BOTH LAUGH)

146
00:07:03,110 --> 00:07:07,290
The, uh, Four Seasons would've been nice,
but you didn't want my help, so...

147
00:07:07,490 --> 00:07:08,556
Some things are more important

148
00:07:08,580 --> 00:07:09,580
- than money, Dad.
- Yeah.

149
00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:11,230
That's debatable. (CHUCKLES)

150
00:07:11,650 --> 00:07:13,010
Well, I need another drink.

151
00:07:13,210 --> 00:07:14,300
- Yeah.
- (SPEAKS SPANISH)

152
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:16,090
No, I'm good. <i>Gracias.</i>

153
00:07:16,290 --> 00:07:17,480
ROBERT: Okay, well...

154
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:19,360
I'm fine.

155
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:22,850
(SIGHS) Is he ever gonna like me?

156
00:07:23,050 --> 00:07:26,120
Yes, if you just chill out
and start acting like yourself.

157
00:07:27,450 --> 00:07:29,120
(WHISPERS) God, our families are a lot.

158
00:07:29,580 --> 00:07:31,480
- What do you mean?
- And where have you been?

159
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,246
I was just finishing up a little project.

160
00:07:33,270 --> 00:07:34,270
What'd I miss?

161
00:07:34,350 --> 00:07:36,610
Oh, well, your mom gave me cursed knives.

162
00:07:36,810 --> 00:07:39,370
And then my mom almost yelled
at my dad's girlfriend for smiling.

163
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:40,570
- Oh.
- Oh, also,

164
00:07:40,770 --> 00:07:43,490
your cousin, Amy, asked where
she could charge her vibrator.

165
00:07:43,690 --> 00:07:45,500
Oh, so, Cousin Amy came?

166
00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:46,830
She will soon.

167
00:07:47,030 --> 00:07:49,040
- (LAUGHS)
- Um, what are you wearing?

168
00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:50,240
Oh, it's, uh...

169
00:07:50,410 --> 00:07:51,540
Why is your hair all wet?

170
00:07:51,740 --> 00:07:53,050
Oh, I... I just... I...

171
00:07:53,250 --> 00:07:55,520
You know, I went
for a little moonlight swim.

172
00:07:55,980 --> 00:07:57,340
You fell in the water, didn't you?

173
00:07:57,370 --> 00:07:59,190
Yeah, I fell in the water. (LAUGHING)

174
00:08:01,570 --> 00:08:03,780
You know, it's kinda cute
how bad you are at lying.

175
00:08:08,660 --> 00:08:11,250
Just... Just promise me...

176
00:08:12,370 --> 00:08:15,210
Promise me, you won't let go of my hand
for the rest of the night, okay?

177
00:08:15,390 --> 00:08:16,400
I promise.

178
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,610
("PONY" BY GINUWINE PLAYS ON SPEAKERS)

179
00:08:18,810 --> 00:08:19,840
Ace.

180
00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:23,160
Ace just put on the honeymoon play list.
I need to change it.

181
00:08:23,190 --> 00:08:25,120
Well, is "need" the right word?

182
00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:26,720
- Dad, please.
- LARRY: Oh, yeah.

183
00:08:28,310 --> 00:08:29,310
(SONG STOPS PLAYING)

184
00:08:29,450 --> 00:08:30,966
Tommy, Tommy, I need you
for, like, five minutes.

185
00:08:30,990 --> 00:08:32,216
- What? No, no, no, no.
- It's an emergency.

186
00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:33,716
I've been working
on my best-man speech, right,

187
00:08:33,740 --> 00:08:35,100
and it is going really well.

188
00:08:35,810 --> 00:08:37,520
- Hi.
- Hey.

189
00:08:38,070 --> 00:08:40,440
- (IMPERCEPTIBLE)
- (MUSIC PLAYS ON SPEAKERS)

190
00:08:40,940 --> 00:08:43,320
Dad's girlfriend just asked me
what my love language is.

191
00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:45,450
She sucks.

192
00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:47,560
Happiest I've seen you in 20 years.

193
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:48,760
- Thanks.
- Cheers.

194
00:08:48,930 --> 00:08:51,200
(HELICOPTER APPROACHING)

195
00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:59,380
(UPBEAT HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

196
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:00,840
(JAMIE GASPS)

197
00:09:01,630 --> 00:09:03,090
Dad invited your ex?

198
00:09:09,140 --> 00:09:11,460
God! How does he just keep getting hotter?

199
00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:14,100
Looks like he's leading a porn safari.

200
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:16,000
I didn't wanna invite him,

201
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:19,720
but Dad insisted because
he said Bali was so close.

202
00:09:19,910 --> 00:09:21,260
Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Wow, wow.

203
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,470
Dad is a messy bitch who loves the drama.

204
00:09:23,670 --> 00:09:26,860
DARCY: Well, he never RSVP'd,
so we thought we were in the clear.

205
00:09:28,490 --> 00:09:32,140
I didn't think he'd actually come.
You know, he never RSVP'd.

206
00:09:32,340 --> 00:09:35,960
No, that's a very, very cool move.
I'm really excited to meet him.

207
00:09:36,870 --> 00:09:38,480
Oops, looks like he was in a rush

208
00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:40,456
and forgot to button
his shirt all the way up.

209
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:41,480
Deedee. (EXHALES SHARPLY)

210
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:42,840
- Hey, man, how are you?
- Hey.

211
00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:44,570
Hi, Sean! (LAUGHS)

212
00:09:44,770 --> 00:09:47,660
(SEAN GRUNTS) I am so sorry that I'm late.

213
00:09:47,860 --> 00:09:49,666
Your dad needed me to go to Japan
at the last minute,

214
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:51,796
and then, you know,
I had to charter a jet from Kyoto,

215
00:09:51,820 --> 00:09:53,886
- just like a whole thing.
- No, it's okay. We just...

216
00:09:53,910 --> 00:09:55,386
You know, we didn't know you were coming.

217
00:09:55,410 --> 00:09:57,500
SEAN: Your dad and I
wanted to surprise you.

218
00:09:57,700 --> 00:09:59,636
Look, babe, you know I wasn't
gonna miss your wedding

219
00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:02,010
for anything in this world, right?

220
00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:03,880
- Sean, I want you to meet Tom.
- Tom.

221
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:05,640
- Oh, hey! (CHUCKLES)
- Tom!

222
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:07,600
- Tom, Tom, Tom.
- Sean. Yeah.

223
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:08,896
- Nice to meet you.
- Hey, Tom.

224
00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:11,980
Man, I have been dying
to meet Deedee's ball player, man.

225
00:10:12,180 --> 00:10:13,270
What position you play?

226
00:10:13,470 --> 00:10:15,276
- I'm a... Well, I...
- He's a designated hitter.

227
00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:17,660
ROBERT: Uh, unfortunately,
they didn't pick up his contract,

228
00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,540
so, technically, he's unemployed, but...

229
00:10:20,250 --> 00:10:21,860
Cut from the minors at 40.

230
00:10:22,060 --> 00:10:24,660
That's a tough break, Tom.
But if you stay positive,

231
00:10:24,850 --> 00:10:26,950
you could have
a really great future in coaching.

232
00:10:27,150 --> 00:10:28,150
You know what I mean?

233
00:10:29,590 --> 00:10:30,590
Yeah.

234
00:10:31,180 --> 00:10:32,580
That is an excellent idea.

235
00:10:32,780 --> 00:10:33,790
- I think so.
- Thank you.

236
00:10:33,990 --> 00:10:34,990
Yeah.

237
00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:39,000
Is it time for dinner?

238
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:40,300
(APPLAUSE)

239
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:43,420
We are so very touched
that you all made the trek out here.

240
00:10:43,620 --> 00:10:47,590
You know, we really wanted to pick a place
that was convenient for none of you.

241
00:10:47,790 --> 00:10:49,260
(ALL LAUGHING)

242
00:10:49,460 --> 00:10:51,026
You know what,
I talk too much at the law firm.

243
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:54,940
So I am going to hand it over
to the man of the hour,

244
00:10:55,140 --> 00:10:57,410
the guy who made
this whole weekend happen,

245
00:10:58,120 --> 00:10:59,570
my lovely Tom.

246
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,330
(CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)

247
00:11:04,090 --> 00:11:05,300
Thank you.

248
00:11:05,670 --> 00:11:07,240
- MAN: Do it!
- WOMAN 1: You go, girl!

249
00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:08,440
TOM: Uh...

250
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:10,200
- WOMAN 2: Yeah!
- (WHISPERS) You got this.

251
00:11:10,930 --> 00:11:11,930
- Right?
- (LAUGHTER)

252
00:11:12,070 --> 00:11:13,126
I can just wing this, right?

253
00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:16,790
Darcy talked a lot about, uh,
her time in the Peace Corps in Bali,

254
00:11:16,990 --> 00:11:18,420
and I thought, you know,

255
00:11:18,620 --> 00:11:20,216
how cool would it be
if we got married there.

256
00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:24,260
And then, I realized that
Bali was un-Bali-vably expensive.

257
00:11:24,460 --> 00:11:26,510
(SCATTERED LAUGHTER)

258
00:11:26,710 --> 00:11:28,300
I think the Philippines are better.

259
00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:29,690
- (GUESTS CLAP)
- Right, Ace?

260
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,360
Ace agrees. Next.

261
00:11:33,410 --> 00:11:35,180
- WOMAN: Aw!
- (GUESTS EXCLAIM)

262
00:11:35,380 --> 00:11:37,500
I know a lot of you were there
to witness my proposal.

263
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:39,830
The shock and surprise. Priceless.

264
00:11:40,370 --> 00:11:42,900
Anyway, Mom and Dad,
I just wanna say thank you.

265
00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:45,570
Your commitment is something
that we can only aspire to.

266
00:11:45,770 --> 00:11:47,840
- Oh, my God.
- TOM: Robert, Renata,

267
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:51,760
we hope our marriage is
nothing like yours. (LAUGHING)

268
00:11:54,260 --> 00:11:55,580
Pivot, baby. (WHISPERS) Pivot.

269
00:11:55,780 --> 00:11:59,040
I mean, that's not a...
a character judgment, by any means.

270
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,840
I mean, 50% of marriages
end in divorce, right?

271
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:03,380
- (MIC FEEDBACK)
- Ha! Wonderful.

272
00:12:03,580 --> 00:12:04,840
(CHUCKLING) Cheers, everybody.

273
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:06,400
- Cheers, cheers, cheers.
- Cheers.

274
00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:07,550
(TOM CLEARS THROAT)

275
00:12:07,750 --> 00:12:08,930
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

276
00:12:09,130 --> 00:12:10,450
Oh, my God. That did not go well.

277
00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:12,100
No, that was awesome.

278
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:14,100
- (GLASS CLINKING)
- (MUSIC STOPS)

279
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:17,770
So Deedee and I met
in the Peace Corps in Bali.

280
00:12:17,970 --> 00:12:21,580
And one day, we had to run
these medical supplies to this village.

281
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,320
I decided to teach her
how to drive the boat,

282
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,326
so I could sleep
and she could do all the work.

283
00:12:26,350 --> 00:12:27,690
(ALL LAUGHING)

284
00:12:27,890 --> 00:12:28,890
(TOM CHUCKLES DRYLY)

285
00:12:29,060 --> 00:12:31,320
The first time our girl
gets behind the wheel,

286
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:34,370
she gets a damn speeding ticket
from the coast guard.

287
00:12:34,570 --> 00:12:35,620
(ALL LAUGHING)

288
00:12:35,820 --> 00:12:38,210
Right? Deedee doesn't do
anything half-assed.

289
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,060
She sees what she wants,

290
00:12:40,890 --> 00:12:43,420
she goes after it,
and she doesn't settle for less.

291
00:12:43,620 --> 00:12:44,660
TOM: It's true, it's true.

292
00:12:44,700 --> 00:12:46,060
SEAN: So, as some of you may know,

293
00:12:46,250 --> 00:12:49,480
Deedee and I were,
100 years ago, were engaged.

294
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:51,720
But she called it off.

295
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:53,550
(GUESTS EXCLAIM SADLY)

296
00:12:53,750 --> 00:12:55,510
No. No, no, no, no.

297
00:12:55,710 --> 00:12:57,160
She was waiting for Tom.

298
00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:02,730
And that guy right there
has gotta be a one-in-a-million supernova

299
00:13:02,930 --> 00:13:04,570
to snag that beautiful soul.

300
00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:06,070
- Thanks.
- (ALL APPLAUDING)

301
00:13:06,270 --> 00:13:08,860
- Thanks, Sean.
- So, in conclusion,

302
00:13:09,060 --> 00:13:10,920
I just wanna say one thing to you, Deedee.

303
00:13:12,010 --> 00:13:13,240
<i>Katuk kak ci.</i>

304
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:14,970
(LAUGHING)

305
00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:17,720
(ALL APPLAUDING AND CHEERING)

306
00:13:19,050 --> 00:13:20,620
What's... <i>Katuk kak</i> what?

307
00:13:20,820 --> 00:13:22,710
Oh, God. Um, it's hard to explain.

308
00:13:22,910 --> 00:13:25,040
It actually means, um,

309
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:27,670
"Fuck your grandpa."
(CHUCKLES) It's just...

310
00:13:27,870 --> 00:13:29,390
Well, that's not that hard to explain.

311
00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:32,130
Yeah, well, I don't know.
Just, in Balinese, it's super offensive.

312
00:13:32,330 --> 00:13:34,510
Yeah, well, it's offensive everywhere, no?

313
00:13:34,710 --> 00:13:37,430
- Yeah. I mean... It just...
- "Fuck your grandpa!"

314
00:13:37,630 --> 00:13:39,520
- It just made us laugh.
- It is funny.

315
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,850
- (GLASS CLINKS)
- WOMAN: Hi, everybody.

316
00:13:42,050 --> 00:13:43,980
I'm Tom's baby sister, Jeannie.

317
00:13:44,180 --> 00:13:45,900
- Yeah, Jeannie!
- Hey, Jeannie!

318
00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:48,440
Wow, Sean's speech, wasn't it somethin'?

319
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,750
(CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)

320
00:13:51,590 --> 00:13:53,090
(SPRAY CAN HISSING)

321
00:13:56,590 --> 00:13:57,590
DARCY: Honey?

322
00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:03,720
Maybe we should just,
you know, call it a night.

323
00:14:04,180 --> 00:14:05,380
TOM: No, babe, you go ahead.

324
00:14:05,580 --> 00:14:08,670
I gotta finish these centerpieces
and rearrange the seating chart

325
00:14:08,870 --> 00:14:10,940
now that Sean decided to show up.

326
00:14:13,530 --> 00:14:15,150
- (GRUNTS)
- Tom!

327
00:14:16,190 --> 00:14:17,200
Tom!

328
00:14:19,450 --> 00:14:21,160
(WHISPERS) Let's have sex.

329
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:26,610
Yes. Yes.

330
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,770
Just... Just... Just...
Just gimme... Just...

331
00:14:28,970 --> 00:14:30,930
I just have to finish
these pineapples real quick.

332
00:14:33,170 --> 00:14:34,550
Okay. Um...

333
00:14:35,210 --> 00:14:42,180
But do you really have to finish
pineapples right now?

334
00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:49,670
Oh, my God. I love you
in a T-shirt and no pants.

335
00:14:49,870 --> 00:14:50,870
(INHALES SHARPLY)

336
00:14:50,950 --> 00:14:53,170
I'm just gonna reach over here,

337
00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:56,550
this high shelf, so I can get
something to read.

338
00:14:56,750 --> 00:15:00,160
Why is it so sexy
when you can't reach high shelves?

339
00:15:02,870 --> 00:15:05,270
- So, um...
- (GRUNTING SOFTLY)

340
00:15:05,470 --> 00:15:06,870
I'm sorry, miss, but it was...

341
00:15:07,660 --> 00:15:09,020
- It's this one here?
- No, no, no.

342
00:15:09,060 --> 00:15:10,070
It's the one over there.

343
00:15:10,260 --> 00:15:11,480
- Sir, please.
- Oh, this one.

344
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:12,790
- This one.
- Yes.

345
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,200
- That?
- Thank you, sir.

346
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,340
Okay. Glad I could help.

347
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,640
(DARCY GIGGLING)

348
00:15:31,850 --> 00:15:33,190
I miss you.

349
00:15:35,190 --> 00:15:36,690
It's been a while, huh?

350
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:38,650
I know.

351
00:15:39,650 --> 00:15:40,860
I miss you.

352
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:48,830
(TOM MOANS)

353
00:15:50,460 --> 00:15:51,790
Could I ask you a question?

354
00:15:52,330 --> 00:15:53,880
Is it a sexy question?

355
00:15:55,340 --> 00:15:56,340
Um...

356
00:15:56,840 --> 00:16:00,380
Just wondering why you called off
the engagement with Sean again.

357
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,180
That is so not sexy. (CHUCKLES)

358
00:16:05,140 --> 00:16:06,680
I... I told you this.

359
00:16:07,220 --> 00:16:08,620
We were young, we were in Bali,

360
00:16:08,820 --> 00:16:11,270
and then one day, I woke up
and it just didn't feel right.

361
00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:14,060
- Okay?
- Okay.

362
00:16:16,770 --> 00:16:18,610
(TOM MOANING)

363
00:16:19,190 --> 00:16:21,190
But you said yes.

364
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,010
You know, what changed your mind?

365
00:16:24,210 --> 00:16:25,720
(DARCY SIGHS)

366
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:27,580
(CHUCKLING) I don't know.

367
00:16:28,540 --> 00:16:31,020
Uh, he... he started working with my dad,

368
00:16:31,220 --> 00:16:35,610
he changed, and all he cared about
was status and money.

369
00:16:35,810 --> 00:16:37,930
(CHUCKLES) Anyway, why do you want
to talk about my ex

370
00:16:38,060 --> 00:16:39,630
the night before our wedding?

371
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:42,820
I don't know. Maybe because
you invited him to our wedding?

372
00:16:43,020 --> 00:16:44,410
Remember, I didn't.

373
00:16:44,610 --> 00:16:47,540
My dad asked me to invite him.
What was I supposed to say?

374
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:48,960
I don't know. Uh, no?

375
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:51,380
If you remember correctly,
I didn't wanna invite anyone.

376
00:16:51,570 --> 00:16:53,880
- I wanted to elope.
- (SIGHS)

377
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:56,840
The only reason I agreed
to a traditional wedding

378
00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,840
was because you said that
we'd have moments alone.

379
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:01,040
(KNOCK ON DOOR)

380
00:17:01,130 --> 00:17:03,190
Hey, hello. It's Carol.

381
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,740
Hi. Hello.

382
00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,060
Your future mother-in-law, Carol.

383
00:17:09,260 --> 00:17:11,270
(CHUCKLES) Yep, I know your name, Carol.

384
00:17:11,470 --> 00:17:14,400
I brought some of the extras
for the welcome bags

385
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,780
in case you want to make one for Sean.

386
00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:18,330
TOM: Oh! Oh.

387
00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:19,880
Great. Thanks.

388
00:17:20,590 --> 00:17:21,780
All right, thanks.

389
00:17:21,980 --> 00:17:24,510
Tommy, she's not wearing any pants.

390
00:17:25,470 --> 00:17:27,120
- (GIFTS CLATTER)
- I just want to ask,

391
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:29,040
and... and I hope it's okay.

392
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:30,640
Is that genetics,

393
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,210
or is it, like, Pilates or something?

394
00:17:34,410 --> 00:17:35,556
Mom, now is not the time for this.

395
00:17:35,580 --> 00:17:38,056
CAROL: Yes, all right. But, you know,
we need to get you outta here.

396
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,936
It's the night before your wedding,
and you can't spend the night together.

397
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,920
- No, Ma, it's just...
- You can't. It's bad luck.

398
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,800
You know, his cousin, Jenna,
she spent the night with her husband.

399
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:50,030
Lo and behold, she got Lyme disease,
and now she can't wear sandals.

400
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:53,700
It's a tradition.

401
00:17:56,290 --> 00:17:57,920
(SNORING SOFTLY)

402
00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:08,220
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

403
00:18:22,150 --> 00:18:23,940
(INDISTINCT CHATTER AND LAUGHTER)

404
00:18:36,830 --> 00:18:38,690
(BIRD SQUAWKING)

405
00:18:38,890 --> 00:18:41,040
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

406
00:18:55,930 --> 00:18:58,940
PIRATE LEADER: Oh.
Look at the happy couple.

407
00:18:59,690 --> 00:19:01,310
(MAN LAUGHS WICKEDLY)

408
00:19:04,270 --> 00:19:05,650
Where have you been?

409
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:07,900
You were supposed to do my hair.

410
00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:10,220
Now birds are gonna lay eggs in it.

411
00:19:10,420 --> 00:19:12,180
I know. I overslept. I'm sorry.

412
00:19:12,380 --> 00:19:13,520
(CHUCKLES DRYLY)

413
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,580
Kind of, sort of,
slept with Ricky last night.

414
00:19:16,410 --> 00:19:18,230
- Ricky?
- Yes. I'm sorry.

415
00:19:18,430 --> 00:19:20,946
I just, I was in the mood for something,
you know, that wasn't quite right.

416
00:19:20,970 --> 00:19:23,090
Like ordering a hamburger
at a sushi bar or something.

417
00:19:23,590 --> 00:19:25,246
I'm just gonna avoid him today. It's fine.

418
00:19:25,270 --> 00:19:26,610
He's Tom's best man.

419
00:19:26,810 --> 00:19:28,590
You two have to walk down
the aisle together.

420
00:19:29,420 --> 00:19:31,990
I am very good at ignoring people
that I'm standing next to.

421
00:19:32,190 --> 00:19:33,540
- No kidding.
- Ready?

422
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,980
I can't believe you agreed
to wear Carol's wedding dress.

423
00:19:36,430 --> 00:19:37,520
- (SPLUTTERS)
- Okay.

424
00:19:37,970 --> 00:19:40,420
- (JAMIE BLOWING)
- Okay, okay.

425
00:19:40,620 --> 00:19:42,560
You look beautiful, no matter what.

426
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:45,560
She's ready!

427
00:19:45,750 --> 00:19:46,766
JEANNIE: Hey, should we all do

428
00:19:46,790 --> 00:19:48,016
- a round of tequila shots?
- (SIGHS)

429
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:51,430
CAROL: Well, I Scotchgarded the dress,
so try not to inhale the chemicals.

430
00:19:51,630 --> 00:19:53,350
JAMIE: Where's the veil?
Where's the veil?

431
00:19:53,550 --> 00:19:54,680
(HUFFS) Okay.

432
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:55,980
JAMIE: Well, yes, tequila.

433
00:19:56,180 --> 00:19:57,696
JEANNIE: Unless we get the bottle,
I'm not set.

434
00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:58,770
JAMIE: No, no tequila.

435
00:19:58,970 --> 00:20:00,110
Oh!

436
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,610
The prettiest of them all.

437
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:05,130
You look so much better
than the rest of us.

438
00:20:05,630 --> 00:20:07,900
This dress is just wonderful.

439
00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:09,490
I wore it for my wedding,

440
00:20:09,690 --> 00:20:13,740
Jeannie wore it for hers,
and now you're gonna wear it for yours.

441
00:20:13,940 --> 00:20:15,180
Oh, my gosh.

442
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:17,220
Look at you.

443
00:20:18,510 --> 00:20:20,960
Oh, it's white coral made out of tissue.

444
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:22,160
Um...

445
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:26,260
Something doesn't, you know, feel right.

446
00:20:26,460 --> 00:20:28,016
CAROL: Do you think
if we blew-dried the veil,

447
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:29,476
- it would be more fluffy?
- Okay, so what I'm seeing is,

448
00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:30,646
I think that the left boob
is actually slightly lower

449
00:20:30,670 --> 00:20:32,146
- than the right boob.
- Like floof, floof, like that?

450
00:20:32,170 --> 00:20:35,560
Hey, something kinda magical
happened with me last night.

451
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,406
- Theoretically speaking...
- (CELL PHONE CHIMING)

452
00:20:37,430 --> 00:20:39,440
...would it be weird or wonderful

453
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:41,520
- if we married sisters?
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATES)

454
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:42,790
Yeah, sure.

455
00:20:47,210 --> 00:20:48,990
RICKY: Hey, psst, Larry.
Tom's being boring.

456
00:20:49,190 --> 00:20:50,570
Come film me doing a back flip!

457
00:20:50,770 --> 00:20:52,376
LARRY: Oh, I...
I don't think I should walk.

458
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:53,400
RICKY: All right.

459
00:20:55,010 --> 00:20:56,720
(GUESTS CHATTERING)

460
00:21:03,940 --> 00:21:05,900
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

461
00:21:17,450 --> 00:21:18,570
It's time.

462
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:32,880
Wow!

463
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,470
(SIGHS) Look at you.

464
00:21:36,090 --> 00:21:38,050
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

465
00:21:43,810 --> 00:21:44,980
Okay.

466
00:21:45,980 --> 00:21:47,190
You wanted to talk.

467
00:21:48,270 --> 00:21:50,570
I know it's last minute.

468
00:21:51,860 --> 00:21:53,030
I just...

469
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:57,700
I hated the way things ended
last night, and...

470
00:21:58,410 --> 00:22:01,410
And I didn't want our wedding day
to start off on a bad note.

471
00:22:03,910 --> 00:22:05,120
Oh, my God.

472
00:22:06,620 --> 00:22:07,770
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)

473
00:22:07,970 --> 00:22:09,690
God, I thought you were calling it off.

474
00:22:09,890 --> 00:22:11,280
(TOM CHUCKLING)

475
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,280
Calling off the wedding? (SCOFFS)

476
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:14,530
- Why?
- Uh, I don't know.

477
00:22:14,730 --> 00:22:17,580
I mean, this weekend
hasn't exactly gone to plan.

478
00:22:17,780 --> 00:22:20,450
You and I have been arguing more
in the last few months than we did

479
00:22:20,650 --> 00:22:22,120
our first four years together.

480
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,200
(INHALES DEEPLY) I don't know.
I guess I thought

481
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:25,850
weddings were supposed to be fun.

482
00:22:27,060 --> 00:22:28,460
Oh. Okay.

483
00:22:28,660 --> 00:22:31,260
Well, I'm sorry I didn't make
your wedding more fun for you.

484
00:22:31,460 --> 00:22:33,480
Well, no. That's...
Darcy, that's not what...

485
00:22:35,570 --> 00:22:37,400
And it's not my wedding. It's our wedding.

486
00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:39,360
Hardly.

487
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:41,410
(SIGHS) Yeah, Tom.

488
00:22:41,990 --> 00:22:44,770
You got so fixated
on the wedding that you...

489
00:22:44,970 --> 00:22:46,480
you turned into a different person.

490
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:48,640
I'm sorry. I just wanted
everything to be perfect.

491
00:22:49,420 --> 00:22:50,900
Why is that so important to you?

492
00:22:51,100 --> 00:22:52,530
Why isn't it important to you?

493
00:22:52,730 --> 00:22:54,566
It's like you don't even care
about the wedding.

494
00:22:54,590 --> 00:22:56,490
Well, I... Of course I care.

495
00:22:56,690 --> 00:22:57,700
Oh, yeah?

496
00:22:57,900 --> 00:23:00,181
You're the one that insisted
that we pay for this wedding.

497
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:01,876
Yet I'm the one that's bargaining

498
00:23:01,900 --> 00:23:03,910
with all the vendors
and DIY-ing everything,

499
00:23:04,110 --> 00:23:06,620
and all you're saying is,
"I don't know. It looks good,"

500
00:23:06,820 --> 00:23:08,700
you know, "Sounds good, Tom.
Whatever you want."

501
00:23:08,870 --> 00:23:12,210
I told you that I did not want
a big traditional wedding.

502
00:23:12,410 --> 00:23:15,630
Okay? I'm not some blushing bride.
I'm a grown woman.

503
00:23:15,830 --> 00:23:17,970
I don't want my daddy
walking me down the aisle.

504
00:23:18,170 --> 00:23:20,060
I don't need a big princess dress,

505
00:23:20,250 --> 00:23:23,310
and I certainly don't need
a wedding registry.

506
00:23:23,510 --> 00:23:26,020
I have my things already.
I like my things.

507
00:23:26,220 --> 00:23:27,730
I wanted a Roomba.

508
00:23:27,930 --> 00:23:29,830
(GUESTS MURMURING)

509
00:23:31,540 --> 00:23:32,820
Well, she's not up in the lobby.

510
00:23:32,980 --> 00:23:34,260
I can't get through on my phone.

511
00:23:34,350 --> 00:23:36,650
Oh, my God. They've fallen in a ditch.

512
00:23:36,850 --> 00:23:38,870
What? And how do you know that?

513
00:23:39,060 --> 00:23:40,060
CAROL: I don't know.

514
00:23:40,150 --> 00:23:42,290
I just have a sixth sense
about these things.

515
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:43,796
Ace and I will take a look around.

516
00:23:43,820 --> 00:23:45,580
Don't worry. We will find them.

517
00:23:45,780 --> 00:23:47,000
(CAROL BREATHING HEAVILY)

518
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,140
- (SCREAMS) Check all ditches!
- LARRY: God.

519
00:23:51,100 --> 00:23:55,170
I wanted it to just be you and me
in the middle of the ocean.

520
00:23:55,370 --> 00:23:57,760
And for the 400th time,
that would've killed my mother.

521
00:23:57,960 --> 00:23:59,470
Ugh. Right.

522
00:23:59,670 --> 00:24:01,310
And that's why I'm in your mother's dress

523
00:24:01,340 --> 00:24:03,870
with an extra 10 pounds of hair
on my head.

524
00:24:04,700 --> 00:24:08,870
But the truth is, you have not listened
to one thing I wanted since you proposed.

525
00:24:09,580 --> 00:24:12,520
Okay, well, Darcy, I'm listening.
Enlighten me.

526
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,080
What is it? What is it that you want?

527
00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:18,820
Tom, we've... We talked about this.

528
00:24:19,020 --> 00:24:23,280
I told you on our very first date,
I didn't want a big wedding.

529
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:24,560
Well, I thought you changed

530
00:24:24,610 --> 00:24:26,010
- your mind about that.
- (SIGHS)

531
00:24:26,510 --> 00:24:28,350
Why did you even agree to do it then?

532
00:24:30,100 --> 00:24:32,840
Oh, I... I don't... I don't know!

533
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:34,600
Okay? Because...

534
00:24:35,610 --> 00:24:38,380
Because I love you. Because I... I w...

535
00:24:38,580 --> 00:24:40,570
I wanted you to be happy.

536
00:24:41,030 --> 00:24:42,720
PIRATE LEADER: Go! Come on, move!

537
00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:44,890
Everybody, move! Come on!

538
00:24:45,090 --> 00:24:46,520
- (PEOPLE SCREAMING)
- Move along.

539
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:49,200
Go outside, go outside right now.
Come on. Come on.

540
00:24:50,410 --> 00:24:52,040
If you don't wanna go through with this,

541
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:54,210
it's not too late.

542
00:24:54,830 --> 00:24:55,830
What?

543
00:24:58,420 --> 00:25:04,280
No. We brought everybody that we loved
down to the Philippines for our wedding.

544
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:06,370
I'm in this dress! We're doin' this!

545
00:25:06,570 --> 00:25:08,510
Oh, that was beautiful.
Are those your vows?

546
00:25:11,430 --> 00:25:12,480
Oh, my God.

547
00:25:13,890 --> 00:25:16,290
You convinced yourself
that I wanted to call off the wedding,

548
00:25:16,450 --> 00:25:17,730
and now you're making it happen.

549
00:25:17,790 --> 00:25:20,470
Oh, there you go. Lawyering yourself
out of any real responsibility.

550
00:25:20,540 --> 00:25:21,540
(DARCY GASPS)

551
00:25:21,670 --> 00:25:23,400
(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

552
00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:27,490
(GROANS) You cut me with your ring!

553
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:32,370
- Won't happen again.
- (GRUNTS)

554
00:25:37,630 --> 00:25:39,650
(INTENSE MUSIC RESUMES)

555
00:25:39,850 --> 00:25:40,920
Great!

556
00:25:41,670 --> 00:25:43,310
(SHOUTING) Why don't you go be with Sean?

557
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,160
Maybe you guys could go bang
some grandpas!

558
00:25:46,360 --> 00:25:48,760
(INTENSE MUSIC CONTINUES)

559
00:25:55,770 --> 00:25:58,300
I don't know why.
I have a bad feeling about this.

560
00:25:58,500 --> 00:25:59,880
LARRY: It's gonna be fine, honey.

561
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:01,090
- (SCREAMS)
- (ALL GASP)

562
00:26:01,290 --> 00:26:02,760
I think you might be overreacting.

563
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:04,300
(SCREAMS)

564
00:26:04,500 --> 00:26:06,220
- (GUESTS SCREAMING)
- (INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

565
00:26:06,380 --> 00:26:09,350
PIRATE LEADER: Hold still!
Get down, get down, get down!

566
00:26:09,550 --> 00:26:10,570
(ALL SCREAMING)

567
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:14,540
(WHIMPERS)

568
00:26:15,290 --> 00:26:16,616
- PIRATE 1: No running!
- (GUNSHOT)

569
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,540
- PIRATE LEADER: Everyone!
- PIRATE 1: Get down.

570
00:26:19,130 --> 00:26:21,690
PIRATE LEADER: To the pool! Now!

571
00:26:21,890 --> 00:26:23,070
First rows, go!

572
00:26:23,270 --> 00:26:24,510
- Go, go, go!
- (CAROL EXCLAIMS)

573
00:26:24,690 --> 00:26:26,700
PIRATE 1: Everyone, this way! This way!

574
00:26:26,900 --> 00:26:29,640
Come on! Come on! One line! Let's go!

575
00:26:32,100 --> 00:26:33,890
- (GUNSHOTS)
- (INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

576
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:39,520
(GRUNTS)

577
00:26:42,980 --> 00:26:44,340
(FRIGHTENED CLAMORING)

578
00:26:44,540 --> 00:26:45,780
Let's go!

579
00:26:47,650 --> 00:26:48,950
Darcy.

580
00:26:51,740 --> 00:26:53,940
- PIRATE LEADER: Guys, go!
- PIRATE 1: Go, go, up there.

581
00:26:54,010 --> 00:26:56,230
PIRATE LEADER: Up there!
Up there! Go! Go to the end.

582
00:26:56,430 --> 00:26:57,980
- Go, go!
- Everybody, walk!

583
00:26:58,180 --> 00:27:00,360
- PIRATE LEADER: Keep going.
- PIRATE 1: Let's go.

584
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:01,610
PIRATE LEADER: Go!

585
00:27:01,810 --> 00:27:02,900
(GUESTS SCREAMING)

586
00:27:03,100 --> 00:27:04,626
PIRATE LEADER: Keep moving! There you go.

587
00:27:04,650 --> 00:27:06,030
PIRATE 2: Turn. Turn. Go!

588
00:27:06,230 --> 00:27:07,496
- PIRATE LEADER: Line up.
- PIRATE 2: Keep moving.

589
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:08,530
Line up, go!

590
00:27:08,730 --> 00:27:09,876
- PIRATE LEADER: Now!
- CAROL: No.

591
00:27:09,900 --> 00:27:11,830
PIRATE LEADER: And into the pool.

592
00:27:12,030 --> 00:27:13,290
Now. Go!

593
00:27:13,490 --> 00:27:16,370
Go in. Faster, faster, faster.

594
00:27:16,570 --> 00:27:18,676
- PIRATE 2: Get in the water.
- PIRATE LEADER: Let's go faster.

595
00:27:18,700 --> 00:27:21,250
- PIRATE 2: Drop the phone.
- But my phone will get ruined.

596
00:27:21,450 --> 00:27:22,766
I think that's the point, sweetie.
Just drop it.

597
00:27:22,790 --> 00:27:23,976
Yeah, but I haven't
backed it up in a while.

598
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:25,520
- RENATA: Drop it!
- Okay. Okay.

599
00:27:26,730 --> 00:27:28,430
PIRATE LEADER: No need to be scared.

600
00:27:28,630 --> 00:27:31,990
As long as everybody follows directions,
no one gets hurt.

601
00:27:32,870 --> 00:27:34,990
Raise your hand when you hear your name.

602
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:37,450
Robert Rivera.

603
00:27:44,130 --> 00:27:46,340
Robert! Robert.

604
00:27:47,130 --> 00:27:48,420
They're calling you.

605
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:51,260
Thanks a lot, Carol.

606
00:27:55,140 --> 00:27:57,310
- PIRATE LEADER: Larry Fowler.
- Present.

607
00:28:00,350 --> 00:28:01,880
I... I'm Carol, his wife.

608
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:03,720
Just so you don't have to make two trips.

609
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:06,690
Wait, wait. I'd like it in the center.

610
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:11,450
Sean Hawkins.

611
00:28:12,030 --> 00:28:15,410
If you hurt anyone in this pool,
you're gonna have to answer to me.

612
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,980
PIRATE LEADER:
Is this the hero of the group?

613
00:28:19,180 --> 00:28:20,700
ALL: Yes.

614
00:28:21,410 --> 00:28:23,070
No. Oh, my God.

615
00:28:23,270 --> 00:28:24,500
(WOMEN WHIMPER)

616
00:28:25,250 --> 00:28:26,960
There is always one.

617
00:28:28,630 --> 00:28:29,630
All right.

618
00:28:40,810 --> 00:28:42,560
PIRATE LEADER: Where is bride and groom?

619
00:28:43,140 --> 00:28:45,510
PIRATE 1: She's there.
Isn't she the bride?

620
00:28:45,700 --> 00:28:46,700
Oh. No.

621
00:28:46,790 --> 00:28:50,970
Amanda thought it was appropriate
to wear white to a wedding.

622
00:28:51,170 --> 00:28:52,390
I didn't know that was a rule.

623
00:28:52,590 --> 00:28:53,810
Yes, you did.

624
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:55,810
- You're a gas lighter.
- JEANNIE: Yeah.

625
00:28:56,010 --> 00:28:57,530
You see, this is a problem.

626
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:00,370
They could call police.
And if police come,

627
00:29:01,330 --> 00:29:02,480
we kill everyone.

628
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:04,200
- (GUESTS GASPING)
- WOMAN: Oh, my God.

629
00:29:04,260 --> 00:29:07,260
Okay, um, I... I saw Tom headed towards
the nature walk before the ceremony,

630
00:29:07,430 --> 00:29:10,490
and I noticed that his frequency levels
were dangerously low.

631
00:29:10,690 --> 00:29:12,160
I think he's getting cold feet.

632
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:13,530
Tommy has cold feet?

633
00:29:13,730 --> 00:29:16,170
Is this really what we should be
worrying about at this point?

634
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:19,510
I'm a mother. I can worry
about a lot of things at the same time.

635
00:29:20,260 --> 00:29:21,460
Like Larry's mole.

636
00:29:21,660 --> 00:29:22,860
LARRY: Oh, it's fine, sweetie.

637
00:29:22,950 --> 00:29:24,556
- CAROL: It's getting bigger.
- PIRATE LEADER: Spread out.

638
00:29:24,580 --> 00:29:26,480
- (GUNS COCKING)
- Look for them.

639
00:29:32,110 --> 00:29:34,640
Hey, uh, I... I...
I texted you this morning

640
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:36,450
and I didn't hear anything back.

641
00:29:37,870 --> 00:29:39,410
Are you being serious right now?

642
00:29:39,950 --> 00:29:41,560
No. No.

643
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:43,310
(PANTING)

644
00:29:43,510 --> 00:29:44,520
(DARCY SCREAMS)

645
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:46,980
(GASPS) Darcy!

646
00:29:47,180 --> 00:29:50,090
- (DARCY GRUNTING)
- TOM: Darcy! Hey!

647
00:29:51,630 --> 00:29:53,450
- (GROANS)
- No, no, no, no. Darcy.

648
00:29:53,650 --> 00:29:55,990
- Darcy, I'm coming in.
- Fuck off, Tom!

649
00:29:56,190 --> 00:29:57,260
Oh, thank God.

650
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,850
Listen, I know you're mad at me right now,
but you have to let me in.

651
00:30:01,180 --> 00:30:03,170
Why would I be mad? I'm awesome.

652
00:30:03,370 --> 00:30:05,450
I'm on a tropical island,
I'm having a liquid brunch,

653
00:30:05,620 --> 00:30:07,690
and I don't have to answer to anybody!

654
00:30:08,150 --> 00:30:10,050
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

655
00:30:10,250 --> 00:30:13,110
(GASPS) Oh, my God, this is not happening.

656
00:30:13,530 --> 00:30:15,470
Oh, it is happening, buddy.

657
00:30:15,670 --> 00:30:19,140
Okay? And once I get this hair condo
off my head,

658
00:30:19,340 --> 00:30:22,560
I'm gonna march down to that beach
and tell everybody how you blew this up!

659
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:23,770
Shh... shh!

660
00:30:23,970 --> 00:30:26,080
Are you seriously shushing me right now?

661
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:28,290
What the fuck?

662
00:30:28,670 --> 00:30:29,670
(TOM GRUNTS)

663
00:30:32,670 --> 00:30:33,670
Is that blood?

664
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:35,990
There's no time
for a blood freak-out right now.

665
00:30:36,190 --> 00:30:37,990
- Don't tell me...
- (SHUSHES)

666
00:30:38,190 --> 00:30:40,790
- (MUFFLED GROANING)
- There are pirates outside,

667
00:30:40,990 --> 00:30:42,540
and they took everybody hostage.

668
00:30:42,740 --> 00:30:43,740
(MUFFLED) What?

669
00:30:45,140 --> 00:30:46,560
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

670
00:30:56,110 --> 00:30:57,610
- (GUNSHOTS)
- (GASPS)

671
00:30:58,780 --> 00:30:59,780
(GRUNTS)

672
00:31:00,490 --> 00:31:03,450
- We have to get help.
- TOM: No, no. No. No.

673
00:31:04,830 --> 00:31:06,900
- The phone is dead.
- Oh, the Wi-Fi too.

674
00:31:07,100 --> 00:31:09,300
Marge said the cell service
is better on the north side.

675
00:31:09,350 --> 00:31:11,230
Why did you pick an island
with no cell service?

676
00:31:11,270 --> 00:31:13,116
Because I wanted people to be present
and in the moment.

677
00:31:13,140 --> 00:31:14,880
- (GUNSHOT)
- (GASPS) Jeez!

678
00:31:15,630 --> 00:31:18,370
I can't breathe. (GASPS) I can't breathe!

679
00:31:18,570 --> 00:31:19,330
I know. Me neither.

680
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:22,200
No. I... I really can't breathe.
It's the shape wear.

681
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,040
Please help me get out of this dress now.

682
00:31:25,180 --> 00:31:26,290
Now!

683
00:31:26,490 --> 00:31:27,500
Would you relax?

684
00:31:27,700 --> 00:31:29,216
(WHISPERS) What did you just say to me?

685
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:30,556
I said everything's gonna be okay.

686
00:31:30,580 --> 00:31:31,880
Dress is like a riddle.

687
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:33,420
- (GUNSHOTS)
- Oh!

688
00:31:33,620 --> 00:31:35,570
God, I'm gonna die in this dress!

689
00:31:36,980 --> 00:31:38,930
Oh, door latches from the inside.

690
00:31:39,130 --> 00:31:41,060
He's gonna know we're in here. (GRUNTING)

691
00:31:41,250 --> 00:31:44,890
He's also gonna know we're in here
when he comes in here and we're in here.

692
00:31:45,090 --> 00:31:46,370
He'll think we're in the shower.

693
00:31:46,510 --> 00:31:47,900
What... What?

694
00:31:48,100 --> 00:31:50,440
And come back at a better time?
Leave a note?

695
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:52,320
- (SHOWER RUNNING)
- All right.

696
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:54,996
Okay, h... here's the plan. He comes in,
he's gonna think we're in the shower,

697
00:31:55,020 --> 00:31:56,700
then I jump out and I trap him in the net.

698
00:31:56,730 --> 00:31:58,130
Oh, my God, that's an amazing plan.

699
00:31:58,230 --> 00:31:59,230
- Yes!
- No!

700
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:00,666
You're gonna throw a net over a pirate?

701
00:32:00,690 --> 00:32:01,916
Have you ever tried to get out of a net?

702
00:32:01,940 --> 00:32:03,256
It's very hard to get out of a net.

703
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:04,790
Okay. How about...

704
00:32:04,990 --> 00:32:06,910
How about this? I spray him in the eyes.

705
00:32:07,110 --> 00:32:09,670
How is hairspray in the eyes
better than a net over his head?

706
00:32:09,870 --> 00:32:11,880
Wait! Yes, that's actually...

707
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:14,050
That's actually... You spray that.

708
00:32:14,250 --> 00:32:16,186
I'll light the match.
It'll be like a flamethrower.

709
00:32:16,210 --> 00:32:17,410
- I mean, it won't work!
- Why?

710
00:32:17,540 --> 00:32:18,970
- Too many steps.
- It's two steps.

711
00:32:19,170 --> 00:32:21,720
It's two steps. Flamethrower, net.

712
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:25,020
I pop out and I put the net over his head.
I'll surprise him.

713
00:32:25,220 --> 00:32:27,230
No, Tom, because bullets
shoot through nets!

714
00:32:27,430 --> 00:32:28,980
- Technically, yeah.
- Technically?

715
00:32:29,180 --> 00:32:30,696
Technically, he won't be able
to shoot straight

716
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:32,900
because he'll be all fuckin'
wrapped up in the net.

717
00:32:33,100 --> 00:32:35,400
I swear to God, if you say "net"
one more time...

718
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:36,880
- (GUNSHOTS)
- (GASPS)

719
00:32:38,420 --> 00:32:40,510
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

720
00:32:42,300 --> 00:32:43,380
(GUNSHOT)

721
00:32:47,810 --> 00:32:49,720
(WHISPERING) Psst. Flamethrower.

722
00:32:53,850 --> 00:32:55,690
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

723
00:32:58,980 --> 00:33:00,650
(SHOWER RUNNING)

724
00:33:05,660 --> 00:33:07,060
(WHISPERING) I'm gonna fuck him up.

725
00:33:07,260 --> 00:33:08,270
I'm gonna fuck him up.

726
00:33:08,470 --> 00:33:09,910
(MOUTHING)

727
00:33:25,970 --> 00:33:27,120
(TURNS OFF SHOWER)

728
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:28,760
(SCREAMING)

729
00:33:29,930 --> 00:33:32,020
(ALL SCREAMING)

730
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:35,840
DARCY: Fuck!

731
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:37,270
(PIRATE 2 PANTING)

732
00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:39,550
- (GRUNTS)
- PIRATE 2: Ow!

733
00:33:39,750 --> 00:33:41,476
- Never mind! Never mind.
- Why did you do that?

734
00:33:41,500 --> 00:33:44,110
- Never mind!
- (BOTH SCREAM AND GRUNT)

735
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:49,480
- (GROANING) You were right.
- (PANTING)

736
00:33:49,670 --> 00:33:51,620
That hairspray was
so much worse than the net.

737
00:33:52,790 --> 00:33:53,790
(TOM GRUNTS)

738
00:33:55,660 --> 00:33:56,900
- DARCY: Ow!
- PIRATE 2: Get up.

739
00:33:57,100 --> 00:33:58,100
DARCY: Okay.

740
00:33:58,750 --> 00:34:00,460
(BOTH GRUNT)

741
00:34:01,500 --> 00:34:03,166
- TOM: Come on.
- DARCY: Don't strangle me.

742
00:34:03,190 --> 00:34:05,230
- TOM: Turn your arm.
- PIRATE 2: I have them alive.

743
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:06,410
Wait, wait. What?

744
00:34:06,610 --> 00:34:09,180
(PIRATE 2 ON RADIO)
<i>Bungalow 15. Pick me up.</i>

745
00:34:10,510 --> 00:34:11,810
PIRATE LEADER: Go collect them.

746
00:34:12,850 --> 00:34:15,020
And then we can begin.

747
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:17,310
(BOTH GRUNTING)

748
00:34:23,690 --> 00:34:24,990
You doing okay, Jamie?

749
00:34:27,240 --> 00:34:29,480
My stomach feels like
it's gonna fall through my asshole.

750
00:34:29,630 --> 00:34:31,370
But otherwise, I'm chill.

751
00:34:32,240 --> 00:34:34,020
Listen, it's normal to feel scared.

752
00:34:34,220 --> 00:34:35,940
But I'm not gonna let
anything happen to you

753
00:34:36,500 --> 00:34:38,920
or your family. Promise.

754
00:34:40,420 --> 00:34:41,710
JEANNIE: Hey, Sean?

755
00:34:42,250 --> 00:34:43,700
I am also feeling scared.

756
00:34:43,900 --> 00:34:45,876
Like the most scared
I've ever been in my whole life.

757
00:34:45,900 --> 00:34:48,090
It's like I just watched <i>The Ring,</i>
you know?

758
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:52,006
HARRIETT: Robbie, baby, I want you
to practice the breathing exercise

759
00:34:52,030 --> 00:34:54,000
that we learned at Esalen, okay?

760
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:56,850
I'm gonna hit a pressure point.
Ready? And...

761
00:34:57,350 --> 00:34:58,350
(JOINTS POP)

762
00:34:58,490 --> 00:35:00,400
- Breathe. Breathe.
- (BREATHING SHARPLY)

763
00:35:01,230 --> 00:35:02,230
From the diaphragm.

764
00:35:02,410 --> 00:35:04,516
- I think I'm gonna throw up now.
- It's okay. You're doing fine.

765
00:35:04,540 --> 00:35:08,220
If he keeps making that noise,
just go ahead and shoot me.

766
00:35:08,420 --> 00:35:09,640
- (ROBERT PANTS)
- (LAUGHING)

767
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:12,080
PIRATE LEADER: The happy couple
will be here in a second.

768
00:35:12,780 --> 00:35:14,310
So let's get to business.

769
00:35:14,510 --> 00:35:16,370
Where is the father of the bride?

770
00:35:19,710 --> 00:35:22,330
Robert. He's calling ya again.

771
00:35:24,420 --> 00:35:27,260
Thanks, Carol. (GRUNTS)

772
00:35:27,670 --> 00:35:28,840
Okay, what do you want?

773
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:34,210
PIRATE LEADER: Well, we call my colleague
on the satellite phone,

774
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:37,420
and you transfer $45 million
to a bank account.

775
00:35:37,620 --> 00:35:39,000
HARRIETT: What? What?

776
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:40,640
I don't have that kind of money.

777
00:35:41,060 --> 00:35:45,340
PIRATE LEADER: We googled you.
Net worth is $60 million.

778
00:35:45,540 --> 00:35:48,490
I'm not giving you anything
until I find out if my daughter's safe.

779
00:35:49,530 --> 00:35:51,740
- And your son-in-law.
- Yeah, him too.

780
00:35:52,450 --> 00:35:53,470
Okay.

781
00:35:53,670 --> 00:35:56,240
I can wait two minutes
to take all your money.

782
00:35:56,990 --> 00:35:58,000
This way.

783
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:01,980
You want some pineapple candies?

784
00:36:02,180 --> 00:36:05,440
They're from that weird welcome bag
we got, but I found them in my pocket.

785
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:09,090
No, I don't want loose, wet candy
from your gross pockets.

786
00:36:11,630 --> 00:36:12,760
Okay.

787
00:36:13,550 --> 00:36:14,800
Suit yourself.

788
00:36:20,980 --> 00:36:22,210
Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

789
00:36:22,410 --> 00:36:23,410
- I'm starving.
- No.

790
00:36:23,500 --> 00:36:24,650
(JAMIE GASPS)

791
00:36:26,690 --> 00:36:28,050
- You're an asshole.
- Hmm.

792
00:36:28,250 --> 00:36:30,090
God, I can't believe
that I had sex with you.

793
00:36:30,290 --> 00:36:32,450
Honestly, I was pretty surprised
by that too.

794
00:36:32,740 --> 00:36:35,196
DARCY: My parents, they got divorced
when I was in high school,

795
00:36:35,220 --> 00:36:37,870
and my first engagement was a disaster.

796
00:36:38,450 --> 00:36:40,770
What about you? Are you dating anyone?

797
00:36:40,970 --> 00:36:42,366
Have you always wanted to be a pirate?

798
00:36:42,390 --> 00:36:44,370
No more talk, lady.

799
00:36:50,210 --> 00:36:51,740
Excuse me, sirs.

800
00:36:51,940 --> 00:36:53,140
Darcy, they're gonna hurt you.

801
00:36:53,270 --> 00:36:55,830
I just can't help but notice
that you guys smell like cigarettes,

802
00:36:55,990 --> 00:36:58,290
and I am loving it.

803
00:36:58,490 --> 00:37:00,790
Is there any way I could bum a cigarette?

804
00:37:00,990 --> 00:37:02,506
I mean, I think it might help with the...

805
00:37:02,530 --> 00:37:04,216
the panic and dread
I'm experiencing right now.

806
00:37:04,240 --> 00:37:05,516
Since when do you smoke cigarettes?

807
00:37:05,540 --> 00:37:06,610
It's...

808
00:37:07,770 --> 00:37:09,650
I just... You don't even
have to untie my hands.

809
00:37:09,750 --> 00:37:11,930
I mean, I... I can smoke with no hands.

810
00:37:12,130 --> 00:37:14,350
You could just put it right in my mouth.

811
00:37:14,550 --> 00:37:15,736
PIRATE 2: Give her a cigarette.

812
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:17,310
- Please.
- Maybe it will shut her up.

813
00:37:17,510 --> 00:37:19,240
DARCY: Yes, yes, yes, it will shut me up.

814
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:22,620
Oh, thank you.

815
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:26,580
You guys are the...

816
00:37:28,170 --> 00:37:29,170
best.

817
00:37:29,310 --> 00:37:30,780
- (SEARING)
- PIRATE 2: What?

818
00:37:30,980 --> 00:37:32,970
- Fire!
- (DARCY SCREAMING)

819
00:37:34,630 --> 00:37:35,990
TOM: Oh, my God!

820
00:37:36,190 --> 00:37:39,080
- (GASPS)
- Oh, my God! Flamethrower!

821
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:40,290
- (LAUGHING)
- Oh, my...

822
00:37:40,490 --> 00:37:43,230
See, that's why you only have a plan
with one step!

823
00:37:44,940 --> 00:37:45,960
(TOM GASPS)

824
00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:47,340
- No!
- Oh, my God!

825
00:37:47,540 --> 00:37:49,650
- Get the brakes!
- I'm trying! I'm trying!

826
00:37:50,980 --> 00:37:52,550
(DARCY SCREAMS)

827
00:37:52,750 --> 00:37:54,700
(BOTH GRUNTING)

828
00:37:57,530 --> 00:37:58,640
- (SHRIEKS)
- Cliff!

829
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:00,160
- Cliff! Cliff!
- DARCY: I see it!

830
00:38:00,260 --> 00:38:01,480
Get it into park!

831
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:03,540
TOM: I'm trying! (GRUNTING)

832
00:38:04,450 --> 00:38:06,070
- DARCY: Oh, God! Oh, my God!
- TOM: God!

833
00:38:06,260 --> 00:38:07,580
(GRUNTING)

834
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:10,210
Oh, slide out!

835
00:38:10,790 --> 00:38:13,280
(BOTH GRUNTING AND GASPING)

836
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:14,990
(BOTH LAUGH)

837
00:38:15,190 --> 00:38:16,740
- (THUD)
- (BOTH GASP)

838
00:38:16,940 --> 00:38:19,330
DARCY: My dress! My dress, Tom!

839
00:38:19,530 --> 00:38:20,700
Tom, don't let go!

840
00:38:20,900 --> 00:38:22,850
- Don't you let go!
- (GASPING)

841
00:38:23,180 --> 00:38:25,310
DARCY: I'm stuck! I'm stuck!

842
00:38:26,060 --> 00:38:27,750
(SCREAMING)

843
00:38:27,950 --> 00:38:29,170
- (TOM STRAINS)
- (DRESS RIPS)

844
00:38:29,370 --> 00:38:30,560
(DARCY GRUNTS)

845
00:38:38,030 --> 00:38:39,870
(BOTH PANTING)

846
00:38:42,030 --> 00:38:43,490
(GUNSHOTS)

847
00:38:45,500 --> 00:38:47,230
- Go!
- (WHIMPERING)

848
00:38:47,430 --> 00:38:49,420
Go. Go, go, go. Go, go, go.

849
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:52,740
- (GUNSHOTS CONTINUE)
- (DARCY SCREAMS)

850
00:38:52,940 --> 00:38:54,950
(TOM PANTING)

851
00:38:55,150 --> 00:38:57,030
Quick, do something baseball-y.

852
00:38:57,230 --> 00:38:59,220
What? This is nothing like baseball!

853
00:39:00,180 --> 00:39:01,970
- Down! Down, down!
- DARCY: Fuck!

854
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:03,810
(GUN CLICKS)

855
00:39:04,100 --> 00:39:06,790
- He's out of ammo.
- Right.

856
00:39:06,990 --> 00:39:08,350
- Run at him!
- What?

857
00:39:09,690 --> 00:39:11,250
- Go. Believe me, just go!
- No, no, no!

858
00:39:11,370 --> 00:39:12,370
(ALL GRUNT)

859
00:39:13,230 --> 00:39:14,230
(GASPS)

860
00:39:16,030 --> 00:39:17,940
- Grenade!
- He has a grenade!

861
00:39:18,860 --> 00:39:19,860
Sir!

862
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:21,350
Sir, sir.

863
00:39:21,550 --> 00:39:23,020
Give me the grenade, sir. Sir!

864
00:39:23,220 --> 00:39:25,980
Sir, give me the grenade. Sir. Sir!

865
00:39:26,180 --> 00:39:28,000
(ALL GRUNTING)

866
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:32,040
- (TOM GROANS)
- DARCY: Ah-ow. Ow!

867
00:39:34,170 --> 00:39:36,920
- (BONES CRACK)
- (BOTH PANTING)

868
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:44,540
(WHISPERING) Oh, my God.

869
00:39:44,740 --> 00:39:46,720
- Is he dead?
- I don't know.

870
00:39:47,970 --> 00:39:49,430
(SHOUTS) Are you dead?

871
00:39:57,730 --> 00:40:00,300
Oh, yeah, he's very not alive.

872
00:40:00,500 --> 00:40:02,390
Not alive. Oh, boy.

873
00:40:02,590 --> 00:40:04,390
- Yes! You killed him!
- Yeah!

874
00:40:04,590 --> 00:40:06,640
Yeah, I killed him! I killed him!

875
00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:08,150
(BOTH LAUGHING)

876
00:40:08,340 --> 00:40:10,400
Oh, my God, I killed a man.

877
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:13,190
I killed a man. No.

878
00:40:13,390 --> 00:40:15,400
- (GASPING)
- How do you feel?

879
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:17,610
I feel... Oh, my God. I feel horrible.

880
00:40:17,810 --> 00:40:20,120
- Yeah.
- But excited.

881
00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:22,400
You know, like, happy.
Like, I'm gonna shit my pants.

882
00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:23,480
- Yeah.
- You know, like,

883
00:40:23,570 --> 00:40:24,910
but in a good way. You know?

884
00:40:25,110 --> 00:40:26,220
DARCY: Huh.

885
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:27,760
Oh, my God.

886
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,080
I'm gonna go to prison.

887
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:31,280
- I'm gonna...
- No!

888
00:40:31,450 --> 00:40:33,000
- Yeah.
- No. It was... It...

889
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:35,000
It was self-defense.
He was trying to kill us.

890
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:36,400
Any court would...

891
00:40:37,230 --> 00:40:38,360
Any court...

892
00:40:39,030 --> 00:40:40,030
Are you okay?

893
00:40:40,170 --> 00:40:42,760
Yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine.

894
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:45,600
It's just, you know, I looked over there
and I saw all the blood.

895
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:47,400
And, you know, I think I saw some brain.

896
00:40:47,550 --> 00:40:49,140
- Was that brain stuff?
- Yeah. Yeah.

897
00:40:49,340 --> 00:40:52,900
And so I'm just gonna look up at the sky
and... so I don't pass out.

898
00:40:53,100 --> 00:40:54,656
Okay. Well, you know what?
Maybe we should...

899
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:56,000
- (HUFFING)
- Let's just step away

900
00:40:56,180 --> 00:40:57,180
from the scene.

901
00:40:57,270 --> 00:40:58,366
- And don't look down.
- Okay.

902
00:40:58,390 --> 00:40:59,590
- Okay.
- Just don't look down.

903
00:41:00,670 --> 00:41:02,370
PIRATE LEADER:
They should be here by now.

904
00:41:02,570 --> 00:41:03,570
Head up the road.

905
00:41:03,650 --> 00:41:04,970
- Check on them.
- PIRATE 3: Yeah.

906
00:41:08,390 --> 00:41:10,460
(BREATHING THROUGH TEETH)

907
00:41:10,660 --> 00:41:13,790
All right. We need to get off this island.

908
00:41:13,990 --> 00:41:16,920
Well, it might help that
I got this grenade for us.

909
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:19,380
I mean, he was trying
to blow us up, but I got it.

910
00:41:19,580 --> 00:41:21,740
I got it. Another point for Darcy.

911
00:41:22,650 --> 00:41:24,140
(BLOWS SHARPLY)

912
00:41:24,340 --> 00:41:25,850
Okay, Darcy.

913
00:41:26,050 --> 00:41:27,050
Uh...

914
00:41:27,820 --> 00:41:29,160
Do you remember

915
00:41:29,780 --> 00:41:31,620
that time that we were
driving down the highway

916
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:34,730
and you very calmly told me to pull over?

917
00:41:34,930 --> 00:41:36,400
And you waited until we pulled over

918
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:39,250
to tell me that there was
a giant spider on my head?

919
00:41:39,790 --> 00:41:41,110
Yeah. Yeah.

920
00:41:41,310 --> 00:41:42,590
Yeah, well, that was very smart.

921
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:47,410
Because if you had told me before,
I might have panicked and crashed the car.

922
00:41:47,610 --> 00:41:48,876
Wait. Is there a spider on my head?

923
00:41:48,900 --> 00:41:50,300
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

924
00:41:50,410 --> 00:41:52,310
No, no. I tell you this story because...

925
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:54,590
I don't want you to panic

926
00:41:54,780 --> 00:41:56,650
when I tell you
what I'm about to tell you.

927
00:41:57,650 --> 00:42:00,360
Your grenade doesn't have a pin.

928
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:05,970
- What does that mean?
- Well...

929
00:42:06,170 --> 00:42:07,890
Well, is it... is it...
is it gonna explode?

930
00:42:08,050 --> 00:42:09,770
No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.

931
00:42:09,970 --> 00:42:12,040
Hold it exactly how you're
holding it. Good. Good.

932
00:42:12,330 --> 00:42:14,270
- Okay. Okay.
- Mm-hmm.

933
00:42:14,470 --> 00:42:16,400
That pin holds the handle on.

934
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:19,480
But when you let go of the grenade,
the handle pops off,

935
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,500
which lights the fuse,
and the whole thing goes...

936
00:42:23,460 --> 00:42:24,460
boom.

937
00:42:24,650 --> 00:42:26,610
(WHISPERS) How do you know
so much about grenades?

938
00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:28,080
Video games.

939
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:30,126
So what should I do?
Should... Should I throw it?

940
00:42:30,150 --> 00:42:33,710
Well, my concern is that you won't be able
to throw it far enough to not blow us up.

941
00:42:33,910 --> 00:42:35,810
- No offense.
- God.

942
00:42:36,180 --> 00:42:38,460
So, what, I just...
I just hold this live grenade?

943
00:42:38,660 --> 00:42:40,590
This grenade is just part of my life now?

944
00:42:40,790 --> 00:42:42,150
Yeah, for now, yeah, yeah, yeah.

945
00:42:46,070 --> 00:42:47,490
Okay, here's the plan.

946
00:42:48,740 --> 00:42:49,810
We're gonna get a knife.

947
00:42:50,010 --> 00:42:51,026
- Okay. All right.
- I'm gonna cut

948
00:42:51,050 --> 00:42:53,250
through these ties,
we're gonna get rid of that grenade,

949
00:42:53,910 --> 00:42:55,366
and then we're gonna
head down to the docks.

950
00:42:55,390 --> 00:42:57,110
We're gonna bum-rush
the pirate guarding it,

951
00:42:57,220 --> 00:42:59,620
hop in a boat, and head
to the next island for help.

952
00:43:00,210 --> 00:43:03,400
- Okay?
- Tom, that plan...

953
00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:06,010
(SIGHS) Has too many steps.
I see that now.

954
00:43:06,670 --> 00:43:08,720
(SIGHS) Now, you got a simpler one?

955
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:11,330
- Yes. Yes.
- What?

956
00:43:11,530 --> 00:43:13,290
- Yes. Okay.
- What are you doing?

957
00:43:13,490 --> 00:43:15,000
Get down here. Found it.

958
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:16,640
- Found it. Yes.
- What are we doing?

959
00:43:16,740 --> 00:43:18,380
- Right here.
- What are we doing?

960
00:43:18,580 --> 00:43:20,650
- (LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY)
- Oh.

961
00:43:21,310 --> 00:43:22,310
Oh.

962
00:43:22,500 --> 00:43:24,840
Find cell service. Call for help.

963
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:26,516
When did you put that in your underwear?

964
00:43:26,540 --> 00:43:27,680
(CHUCKLES)

965
00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:29,686
Right before the pirates
took us out of the cabana.

966
00:43:29,710 --> 00:43:31,430
Because I'm a sneaky little bitch.

967
00:43:31,630 --> 00:43:34,030
Oh, you are a sneaky little bitch.

968
00:43:34,740 --> 00:43:35,980
- Thank you.
- (SIGHS)

969
00:43:36,180 --> 00:43:37,560
- Okay.
- Let's start walking.

970
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:39,540
DARCY: Sneaky. Sneaky little bitch.

971
00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:43,530
You're testing my patience, Robert!

972
00:43:43,730 --> 00:43:45,166
Look, you want my money?
I want my daughter.

973
00:43:45,190 --> 00:43:46,826
- It's a simple negotiation.
- PIRATE LEADER: Enough!

974
00:43:46,850 --> 00:43:47,850
All right.

975
00:43:47,940 --> 00:43:48,996
CAROL: They're bringing him back.

976
00:43:49,020 --> 00:43:50,020
PIRATE LEADER: Move.

977
00:43:50,150 --> 00:43:52,410
SEAN: Robert. What happened?
Are you okay?

978
00:43:52,610 --> 00:43:53,716
They didn't hurt you, did they?

979
00:43:53,740 --> 00:43:56,920
Well, I'm not giving them a dime
till I know my daughter's alive.

980
00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:58,850
That didn't go over very well.

981
00:43:59,430 --> 00:44:01,670
I'm afraid they're gonna start
shooting the hostages.

982
00:44:01,870 --> 00:44:02,976
SEAN: I don't think
they're gonna do that.

983
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:04,810
HARRIETT: Isn't that exactly
what pirates do?

984
00:44:12,240 --> 00:44:14,910
Come out, Mr. Pirate Man!

985
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:23,330
My name

986
00:44:24,460 --> 00:44:27,590
is Carol Elaine Fowler,

987
00:44:28,670 --> 00:44:30,470
and I deserve to live.

988
00:44:31,470 --> 00:44:34,450
Carol, what are you doing?

989
00:44:34,650 --> 00:44:36,050
(WHISPERING) I'm humanizing myself.

990
00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:37,926
(IN NORMAL TONE) I saw it
on <i>Good Morning America.</i>

991
00:44:37,950 --> 00:44:41,520
If you humanize yourself to them,
they let you live.

992
00:44:44,190 --> 00:44:47,730
I am a wife. I am a mother.

993
00:44:48,190 --> 00:44:52,850
And I was Milford, Michigan's top realtor
in 1998,

994
00:44:53,050 --> 00:44:55,240
and again in 2007.

995
00:44:56,070 --> 00:44:59,370
I dream of going to Ireland.

996
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:03,710
I was a late bloomer
and my teeth didn't come in till I was 14.

997
00:45:04,330 --> 00:45:05,380
Please pick me.

998
00:45:05,750 --> 00:45:07,540
My name is Jeannie Reed.

999
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:12,220
I am a devoted mother
and a slightly less devoted wife.

1000
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:14,450
This is my first vacation without my kids,

1001
00:45:14,650 --> 00:45:17,160
so I drank a lot of champagne
before the ceremony,

1002
00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:18,376
took a couple of weed gummies,

1003
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:20,620
and the combination
is really killing me right now.

1004
00:45:20,820 --> 00:45:24,920
I'm Amanda Walker.
I'm a godmother and a woman in tech.

1005
00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:27,020
- I went to...
- I am Renata.

1006
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:30,110
I'm from Brazil.

1007
00:45:31,110 --> 00:45:33,800
I have beautiful hair.

1008
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:35,000
Yeah. Very beautiful.

1009
00:45:35,700 --> 00:45:36,820
What else?

1010
00:45:38,450 --> 00:45:39,580
You're a mother.

1011
00:45:40,450 --> 00:45:41,910
I am a mother.

1012
00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:44,440
My name is Ricky Silver.

1013
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:46,570
A lot of my friends, they're pairing up,

1014
00:45:46,770 --> 00:45:49,570
and they're getting married
and drinking loose-leaf tea and shit.

1015
00:45:49,770 --> 00:45:51,710
And I'm still single. But last night...

1016
00:45:53,260 --> 00:45:56,970
I made love to a gorgeous
and terrifying woman.

1017
00:45:57,510 --> 00:45:58,800
You think I'm terrifying?

1018
00:45:59,890 --> 00:46:01,640
You scare the shit out of me.

1019
00:46:02,430 --> 00:46:04,430
(LIGHT MUSIC PLAYING)

1020
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:08,150
I'm Larry Fowler.

1021
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:11,440
(MUSIC HALTS)

1022
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:14,440
Oh...

1023
00:46:14,940 --> 00:46:15,950
Thank you.

1024
00:46:17,490 --> 00:46:18,910
- Oh.
- JEANNIE: Oh, easy, Dad.

1025
00:46:19,910 --> 00:46:21,196
- Hold the phone. Yes.
- TOM: How am I gonna...

1026
00:46:21,220 --> 00:46:22,366
- Hold it steady.
- DARCY: Hold it. Hold on.

1027
00:46:22,390 --> 00:46:24,690
I just gotta get this thing
out of my head.

1028
00:46:24,890 --> 00:46:27,650
It's driving me crazy. (SIGHS)

1029
00:46:27,850 --> 00:46:29,830
- Wait. Hold on. Just wait.
- What are you...

1030
00:46:31,130 --> 00:46:33,070
What are you...
Are you stuffing a loose wad

1031
00:46:33,270 --> 00:46:34,660
of hair in my pocket?

1032
00:46:34,860 --> 00:46:37,280
Yes. A loose wad of very expensive,

1033
00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:39,370
custom-made hair
that I would like to keep.

1034
00:46:39,570 --> 00:46:40,890
If we survive.

1035
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:43,540
(LAUGHING)

1036
00:46:43,740 --> 00:46:45,020
What's so funny?

1037
00:46:47,100 --> 00:46:48,800
- I've just been...
- Ow, ow, ow!

1038
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,550
...questioning everything lately.

1039
00:46:51,750 --> 00:46:54,680
What if the wedding's not perfect?
What if your parents never like me?

1040
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:56,890
What does life look like after baseball?

1041
00:46:57,090 --> 00:46:58,720
But not once did I wonder

1042
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:03,080
if I'd be walking handcuffed
through the jungle with a live grenade.

1043
00:47:03,790 --> 00:47:07,900
Oh. Pirates chasing you
wasn't on your vision board?

1044
00:47:08,100 --> 00:47:10,210
Well, you were the only thing
on my vision board.

1045
00:47:11,250 --> 00:47:12,250
(DARCY GRUNTS)

1046
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:13,490
- (DARCY YELPS)
- (GRUNTS)

1047
00:47:13,690 --> 00:47:14,826
- I got it, I got it, I got it.
- Oh! Oh!

1048
00:47:14,850 --> 00:47:16,496
- You got it? You got it?
- I got it. I got it.

1049
00:47:16,520 --> 00:47:19,340
- Okay. I got it.
- Oh, good. Okay. Oh. (PANTING)

1050
00:47:21,550 --> 00:47:23,510
- We have a bar.
- Oh, good.

1051
00:47:24,220 --> 00:47:25,220
All right.

1052
00:47:25,410 --> 00:47:26,730
- Keep your hands with me.
- Okay.

1053
00:47:26,820 --> 00:47:28,380
- Okay.
- Call for help.

1054
00:47:28,580 --> 00:47:30,440
Yes. Shit! It's gone.

1055
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:33,020
- (GROANS)
- TOM: Well, keep trying.

1056
00:47:37,150 --> 00:47:38,830
- I think, maybe...
- We have to go higher.

1057
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:40,200
- What?
- Yes.

1058
00:47:40,740 --> 00:47:43,240
Not... No. No, no, no.
Uh, I don't like higher.

1059
00:47:45,700 --> 00:47:47,700
(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

1060
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:57,166
Yeah, I don't... I don't think
this thing is built to code.

1061
00:47:57,190 --> 00:47:58,620
- Tom.
- Anything?

1062
00:47:58,810 --> 00:48:00,680
No. Come on.

1063
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:03,580
- Yeah.
- We're almost at the top.

1064
00:48:03,780 --> 00:48:06,710
Maybe we should go back down
so we're not up so high.

1065
00:48:06,910 --> 00:48:09,670
Don't think about the heights right now.
Okay? We're safe.

1066
00:48:09,870 --> 00:48:11,890
Yeah. You use the word "safe"
very loosely.

1067
00:48:12,900 --> 00:48:14,020
Oh, my God.

1068
00:48:17,730 --> 00:48:18,730
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

1069
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:20,226
- Full service. Full service.
- Oh, yes.

1070
00:48:20,250 --> 00:48:21,566
- I have full service.
- (CHIMING CONTINUES)

1071
00:48:21,590 --> 00:48:22,686
TOM: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Silence it.

1072
00:48:22,710 --> 00:48:24,390
- (WHISPERS) I'm trying.
- (TOM SHUSHES)

1073
00:48:24,590 --> 00:48:26,240
- (CHIMING CONTINUES)
- (BIRDS CHIRPING)

1074
00:48:29,580 --> 00:48:31,190
Your group chat is out of control.

1075
00:48:31,390 --> 00:48:33,446
I will not apologize
for having enthusiastic friends.

1076
00:48:33,470 --> 00:48:34,790
- (GUNSHOTS)
- (BOTH YELP)

1077
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:38,030
Oh! You dropped it.

1078
00:48:38,230 --> 00:48:39,960
- DARCY: Come on!
- (GUNSHOTS CONTINUE)

1079
00:48:40,510 --> 00:48:42,160
- We gotta zip.
- Zip?

1080
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:43,590
What do you mean, "zip"?

1081
00:48:44,590 --> 00:48:46,620
- Oh! Zip. Oh, God!
- (GUNSHOT)

1082
00:48:46,820 --> 00:48:48,010
Go, go, go.

1083
00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:50,520
No, I don't think we have
the proper equipment.

1084
00:48:50,700 --> 00:48:52,060
- (GUNSHOT)
- Well, they have guns.

1085
00:48:52,240 --> 00:48:53,426
TOM: Is there some kind of a manual?

1086
00:48:53,450 --> 00:48:54,450
PIRATE 3: Come down!

1087
00:48:54,580 --> 00:48:56,920
TOM: We need helmets.
I see lots of helmets in the photos.

1088
00:48:57,120 --> 00:48:57,920
(DARCY GRUNTS)

1089
00:48:58,120 --> 00:48:59,440
And then why do they look scared?

1090
00:48:59,540 --> 00:49:01,150
DARCY: Stop thinking so much. Jump!

1091
00:49:01,940 --> 00:49:04,030
(TOM SCREAMING)

1092
00:49:07,740 --> 00:49:10,480
- Stop screaming!
- Oh, God! Oh, my God!

1093
00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:11,810
Whoa!

1094
00:49:12,010 --> 00:49:13,060
Tom, don't let go.

1095
00:49:13,260 --> 00:49:15,210
- (GUNSHOTS)
- The fuck!

1096
00:49:15,790 --> 00:49:18,170
(BOTH SCREAMING)

1097
00:49:19,300 --> 00:49:21,110
TOM: Hold on, baby. Hold on.

1098
00:49:21,310 --> 00:49:22,470
Okay.

1099
00:49:24,590 --> 00:49:26,370
(TOM SCREAMING)

1100
00:49:26,570 --> 00:49:27,570
(GRENADE CLATTERS)

1101
00:49:28,220 --> 00:49:29,220
PIRATE 4: Uh...

1102
00:49:30,260 --> 00:49:33,690
- Yeah! (LAUGHS)
- DARCY: Yeah!

1103
00:49:34,350 --> 00:49:36,130
PIRATE LEADER: What the hell was that?

1104
00:49:36,330 --> 00:49:38,440
- (DARCY SCREAMING)
- (LAUGHING)

1105
00:49:40,020 --> 00:49:42,360
(TOM SCREAMING)

1106
00:49:46,910 --> 00:49:47,950
DARCY: Oh, God!

1107
00:49:50,540 --> 00:49:52,340
- DARCY: Oh, God!
- How do we land this thing?

1108
00:49:52,390 --> 00:49:53,730
Me first. I'm gonna go first.

1109
00:49:53,930 --> 00:49:56,730
- What about me?
- No, let me. Me first.

1110
00:49:56,930 --> 00:49:58,400
I'm gonna jump. I'm gonna jump.

1111
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:00,740
- TOM: Okay, okay.
- I got it. I got it.

1112
00:50:00,940 --> 00:50:02,130
Here I go!

1113
00:50:04,420 --> 00:50:05,840
(DARCY GROANS)

1114
00:50:07,430 --> 00:50:10,390
TOM: Oh! (GROANING)

1115
00:50:12,390 --> 00:50:13,810
(TOM PANTING)

1116
00:50:16,940 --> 00:50:18,900
(SOLEMN MUSIC PLAYING)

1117
00:50:27,030 --> 00:50:28,990
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

1118
00:50:35,370 --> 00:50:37,040
PIRATE LEADER: These people are sick.

1119
00:50:37,790 --> 00:50:41,150
You find them, but I kill them.

1120
00:50:41,350 --> 00:50:42,880
(RUSTLING)

1121
00:50:44,380 --> 00:50:45,800
PIRATE 2: You can have the man,

1122
00:50:46,840 --> 00:50:48,630
but the bride is mine.

1123
00:50:51,680 --> 00:50:53,636
DARCY: Police, coast guard,
they're all right there.

1124
00:50:53,660 --> 00:50:55,046
- How do we get across?
- I don't know.

1125
00:50:55,070 --> 00:50:57,550
CAROL: Okay, let's all go around
and play two truths and a lie.

1126
00:50:57,740 --> 00:50:58,740
PIRATE: Be quiet!

1127
00:50:58,870 --> 00:51:00,020
- Carol.
- Mom.

1128
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:01,860
- DARCY: Easy.
- (MUMBLES)

1129
00:51:02,690 --> 00:51:03,900
Okay, come on.

1130
00:51:04,650 --> 00:51:05,940
Come on, come on, come on.

1131
00:51:10,990 --> 00:51:12,350
DARCY: Oh, my God.

1132
00:51:12,550 --> 00:51:13,870
Oh, my God. (CRYING)

1133
00:51:15,750 --> 00:51:17,120
I'm gonna fix this.

1134
00:51:21,130 --> 00:51:22,490
DARCY: My poor mom.

1135
00:51:22,690 --> 00:51:25,460
She thought she was gonna be able
to avoid my dad all weekend.

1136
00:51:27,050 --> 00:51:29,590
My mom used to love my dad so much.

1137
00:51:32,010 --> 00:51:33,660
He was her whole world.

1138
00:51:33,860 --> 00:51:36,600
Then when he left, she just lost her joy.

1139
00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:39,230
I mean, she acts tough, but...

1140
00:51:41,900 --> 00:51:43,610
she never really recovered.

1141
00:51:48,990 --> 00:51:50,610
- Darcy, I'm sorry...
- I know.

1142
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:53,700
We have to keep moving.

1143
00:51:56,990 --> 00:51:58,040
(BOTH GASP)

1144
00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:04,880
(AMUSING MUSIC PLAYING)

1145
00:52:09,550 --> 00:52:11,430
(WHISPERING) What the hell does that mean?

1146
00:52:15,010 --> 00:52:16,010
(WHISPERING) Kitchen.

1147
00:52:18,930 --> 00:52:20,340
- (DOOR OPENS)
- (TOM GRUNTS)

1148
00:52:20,530 --> 00:52:22,190
Okay, we need to find a knife.

1149
00:52:22,690 --> 00:52:24,710
- Oh. Mmm.
- What... What...

1150
00:52:24,910 --> 00:52:25,910
What are you doing?

1151
00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:27,360
I'm starving. Have you eaten today?

1152
00:52:27,540 --> 00:52:28,540
No, I'm not hungry.

1153
00:52:28,710 --> 00:52:30,110
Yes, you are. You're acting cranky.

1154
00:52:30,170 --> 00:52:32,990
- Mmm. Mmm! Mmm.
- DARCY: Mmm.

1155
00:52:34,740 --> 00:52:36,980
- Mmm, this is so delicious.
- (INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

1156
00:52:38,620 --> 00:52:39,700
(DARCY GASPS)

1157
00:52:48,210 --> 00:52:49,780
(WHISPERING) I love your mom.

1158
00:52:49,980 --> 00:52:51,220
Okay, come on.

1159
00:52:52,300 --> 00:52:54,120
Come on. Ow! Easy, easy.

1160
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:55,500
I can't cut with one hand.

1161
00:52:55,690 --> 00:52:57,260
Well, I can't cut with no hands.

1162
00:53:01,890 --> 00:53:03,630
We need to find something else.

1163
00:53:03,830 --> 00:53:04,900
Okay?

1164
00:53:05,650 --> 00:53:07,980
Something that cuts through plastic.

1165
00:53:08,900 --> 00:53:10,280
Hmm...

1166
00:53:12,900 --> 00:53:13,910
Yep.

1167
00:53:14,410 --> 00:53:16,160
(WHIRRING)

1168
00:53:18,830 --> 00:53:20,310
- Is this a bad idea?
- Yeah.

1169
00:53:20,510 --> 00:53:22,290
- You ready?
- No!

1170
00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:24,920
Okay.

1171
00:53:27,790 --> 00:53:29,380
(MUMBLES) There you go.

1172
00:53:31,170 --> 00:53:32,570
(LOUDLY) Hang on, hang on, hang on!

1173
00:53:32,730 --> 00:53:33,916
(GROANS) Darcy, you're stalling.

1174
00:53:33,940 --> 00:53:34,950
- I know.
- We got this.

1175
00:53:35,150 --> 00:53:36,190
- Okay. Yes.
- We got this.

1176
00:53:36,890 --> 00:53:38,500
- On my count. Ready?
- Okay.

1177
00:53:38,700 --> 00:53:41,420
- Yes.
- Ten, nine, eight...

1178
00:53:41,620 --> 00:53:43,170
Why are you counting from ten?

1179
00:53:43,370 --> 00:53:44,570
What is this, a rocket launch?

1180
00:53:44,700 --> 00:53:45,700
Okay, fine. On four.

1181
00:53:46,310 --> 00:53:49,720
One, two, three...

1182
00:53:49,920 --> 00:53:51,220
No one goes on four.

1183
00:53:51,420 --> 00:53:52,860
- No one goes on four.
- All right...

1184
00:53:52,960 --> 00:53:54,100
Shh! Shh.

1185
00:53:54,290 --> 00:53:55,930
- (GRUNTS) Okay.
- Just...

1186
00:53:56,130 --> 00:53:58,180
- Just like a Band-Aid.
- Fine, fine.

1187
00:53:58,380 --> 00:53:59,580
- Ready? Go.
- Like a Band-Aid.

1188
00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:01,440
- (MACHINE WHINES)
- (TOM SCREAMS)

1189
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:03,910
- (GROANING)
- (DARCY SCREAMS)

1190
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:06,320
(BLOOD DRIPPING)

1191
00:54:06,520 --> 00:54:08,070
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)

1192
00:54:08,270 --> 00:54:09,270
(SQUEALS)

1193
00:54:10,960 --> 00:54:12,800
(GROANS) Oh, my God.

1194
00:54:17,220 --> 00:54:18,680
Come on. (GRUNTS)

1195
00:54:23,350 --> 00:54:25,420
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

1196
00:54:25,620 --> 00:54:27,730
- (SIZZLING)
- (LIQUID BOILING)

1197
00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:54,920
(COCKS GUN)

1198
00:54:55,630 --> 00:54:56,800
Tom!

1199
00:54:58,590 --> 00:54:59,840
(SOFTLY) Tom.

1200
00:55:00,340 --> 00:55:02,350
- (DISH CLANGS)
- (TOM GRUNTS)

1201
00:55:09,900 --> 00:55:10,900
(GRUNTS)

1202
00:55:12,820 --> 00:55:13,820
(PIRATE GRUNTS)

1203
00:55:16,820 --> 00:55:18,700
(SQUEAKING)

1204
00:55:19,070 --> 00:55:20,610
(BOTH GRUNTING)

1205
00:55:30,500 --> 00:55:31,920
(PIRATE SCREAMS)

1206
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:34,050
(PIRATE YELLS)

1207
00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:42,600
(TOM PANTING)

1208
00:55:46,520 --> 00:55:48,480
(CONTINUES PANTING)

1209
00:55:52,350 --> 00:55:53,650
I thought you left.

1210
00:55:55,110 --> 00:55:56,190
What?

1211
00:55:58,650 --> 00:55:59,650
No.

1212
00:56:01,360 --> 00:56:02,530
Never.

1213
00:56:06,910 --> 00:56:08,330
Where'd your mom's knife go?

1214
00:56:19,670 --> 00:56:21,510
Oh, Jesus, help me.

1215
00:56:27,600 --> 00:56:29,270
(SIGHS IN RELIEF) That's good.

1216
00:56:30,680 --> 00:56:31,940
Throw me those boots.

1217
00:56:50,540 --> 00:56:52,580
(ROUSING MUSIC PLAYING)

1218
00:56:57,840 --> 00:56:58,840
What?

1219
00:56:59,760 --> 00:57:02,800
That dress is growing on me.

1220
00:57:05,430 --> 00:57:06,640
Thanks.

1221
00:57:07,390 --> 00:57:09,010
I wanted something less traditional.

1222
00:57:10,770 --> 00:57:12,730
(WHIRRING)

1223
00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:20,150
(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

1224
00:57:38,290 --> 00:57:41,170
Yes. Maybe Margy's got
a hard line to the Internet.

1225
00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:44,300
Wow, does Margy love corgis.

1226
00:57:45,970 --> 00:57:47,850
No. Damn it.

1227
00:57:48,970 --> 00:57:50,620
PIRATE 2: You go over there,
I'll go here.

1228
00:57:50,820 --> 00:57:52,256
- PIRATE 5: Yeah.
- They're right there.

1229
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:53,770
- What do I do?
- I don't know.

1230
00:57:54,190 --> 00:57:55,560
I don't know.

1231
00:57:56,650 --> 00:57:58,050
- (TOM GASPS)
- (SHUSHES)

1232
00:57:58,250 --> 00:57:59,670
- Oh, Margy.
- This way.

1233
00:57:59,870 --> 00:58:00,900
TOM: Go, go, go.

1234
00:58:01,940 --> 00:58:03,260
Okay. I got you.

1235
00:58:03,460 --> 00:58:05,280
DARCY: It's okay. It's okay.

1236
00:58:06,280 --> 00:58:07,310
(DOOR CLOSES)

1237
00:58:07,510 --> 00:58:09,120
Come. Faster, faster.

1238
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:11,810
Ace, Margy...

1239
00:58:12,010 --> 00:58:13,690
- Is this your bunker?
- ACE: Uh-huh.

1240
00:58:13,890 --> 00:58:14,906
- Man cave.
- Is it spinning?

1241
00:58:14,930 --> 00:58:16,170
Is it spinning for anyone else?

1242
00:58:16,290 --> 00:58:17,980
You're losing blood. Sit down.

1243
00:58:18,180 --> 00:58:20,610
- Sit down. Okay.
- Bandages. Ace.

1244
00:58:20,810 --> 00:58:22,360
ACE: I'll get the medical kit.

1245
00:58:22,560 --> 00:58:24,070
Give me your hand. I'm gonna wrap it.

1246
00:58:24,270 --> 00:58:26,090
No. No, no, no. No.

1247
00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:28,180
Are you sure? It's disgusting.

1248
00:58:29,680 --> 00:58:30,680
Yeah.

1249
00:58:37,520 --> 00:58:38,810
Oh. Cheers.

1250
00:58:41,770 --> 00:58:42,930
(SHUDDERS) Okay.

1251
00:58:43,130 --> 00:58:45,440
(GROANS) Looks like it's got a flap.

1252
00:58:46,700 --> 00:58:48,100
It's got a loose flap.

1253
00:58:48,300 --> 00:58:49,740
- Listen, just be...
- DARCY: Mm-hmm.

1254
00:58:50,070 --> 00:58:52,230
Just... Just be careful with the flap.

1255
00:58:52,430 --> 00:58:54,690
Please stop saying "flap," okay?

1256
00:58:54,890 --> 00:58:56,960
I'm totally fine. Just don't say flap.

1257
00:58:57,750 --> 00:58:59,780
- MARGY: How many are there?
- Uh...

1258
00:58:59,980 --> 00:59:03,200
Two in the lobby.
Couple more by the pool with the hostages.

1259
00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:06,280
And, uh, one by the dock, right?

1260
00:59:06,480 --> 00:59:08,680
But we got four.

1261
00:59:09,430 --> 00:59:10,930
What do you mean, "got"?

1262
00:59:14,220 --> 00:59:16,640
Got them to stop, you know,

1263
00:59:17,890 --> 00:59:19,140
being alive.

1264
00:59:19,940 --> 00:59:21,550
Holy shit.

1265
00:59:21,750 --> 00:59:23,990
TOM: Well, yeah, we didn't see
any of your staff, though.

1266
00:59:24,120 --> 00:59:26,260
I saw them getting locked up in the spa.

1267
00:59:26,460 --> 00:59:27,850
They never bother with the locals.

1268
00:59:28,050 --> 00:59:31,180
Americans are the rich idiots. No offense.

1269
00:59:31,380 --> 00:59:34,100
I just don't understand
why the pirates are still here.

1270
00:59:34,300 --> 00:59:35,940
Last time, they just looted the rooms.

1271
00:59:36,140 --> 00:59:39,160
Twenty minutes, gone. (SIGHS)

1272
00:59:40,460 --> 00:59:41,660
What do you mean, "last time"?

1273
00:59:41,810 --> 00:59:43,530
Last year. (SPEAKING FILIPINO)

1274
00:59:43,730 --> 00:59:45,746
(IN ENGLISH) Two thousand islands
in the Philippines,

1275
00:59:45,770 --> 00:59:46,820
and they hit us twice?

1276
00:59:47,020 --> 00:59:48,340
- It's not fair.
- Wait, wait.

1277
00:59:49,340 --> 00:59:51,620
The pirates were here last summer?

1278
00:59:51,820 --> 00:59:53,300
And you let us have our wedding here?

1279
00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:56,850
What? Tom-Tom. We talked about it, huh?

1280
00:59:59,390 --> 01:00:00,390
You knew about this?

1281
01:00:00,540 --> 01:00:02,500
Well, first of all,
nobody got killed last summer.

1282
01:00:02,660 --> 01:00:03,660
And we both agreed that

1283
01:00:03,790 --> 01:00:05,880
the chances of it happening again
were very small.

1284
01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:07,820
- Who's "we"?
- Me and Margy.

1285
01:00:08,490 --> 01:00:09,550
We e-mailed a lot,

1286
01:00:09,750 --> 01:00:11,590
and I asked a lot of
tough questions, didn't I?

1287
01:00:11,670 --> 01:00:13,720
How could you not tell me about this?

1288
01:00:13,920 --> 01:00:15,486
You didn't tell me that
you were having doubts

1289
01:00:15,510 --> 01:00:16,630
about getting married, so...

1290
01:00:16,760 --> 01:00:19,580
Yeah, you're right. I didn't.
You know why?

1291
01:00:19,910 --> 01:00:23,780
Because all last year,
you were in your head about everything.

1292
01:00:23,980 --> 01:00:26,660
You thought my dad didn't like you,
so you started acting all weird.

1293
01:00:26,850 --> 01:00:28,130
And now my dad doesn't like you.

1294
01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:30,416
You thought the Robins
were gonna drop you.

1295
01:00:30,440 --> 01:00:32,721
And then you started playing badly,
and they did drop you.

1296
01:00:32,860 --> 01:00:34,750
You think that something bad
is gonna happen,

1297
01:00:34,950 --> 01:00:36,660
and then you make it happen.

1298
01:00:36,860 --> 01:00:38,210
That's called self-sabotage.

1299
01:00:38,410 --> 01:00:40,390
It is. Ace, thank you.

1300
01:00:40,810 --> 01:00:43,460
And all you were excited about
was this wedding.

1301
01:00:43,660 --> 01:00:46,590
And I knew that if I told you
that I was having doubts,

1302
01:00:46,790 --> 01:00:48,720
that you would sabotage
our whole relationship.

1303
01:00:48,920 --> 01:00:50,340
Which you did anyway!

1304
01:00:50,540 --> 01:00:52,030
I didn't sabotage anything.

1305
01:00:52,530 --> 01:00:54,180
I tried to make this wedding perfect.

1306
01:00:54,380 --> 01:00:57,020
And it all got ruined the day
your boy Sean showed up.

1307
01:00:57,220 --> 01:00:58,810
This has nothing to do with Sean.

1308
01:00:59,010 --> 01:01:00,650
This is about your insecurities.

1309
01:01:00,850 --> 01:01:02,060
And this whole wedding

1310
01:01:02,260 --> 01:01:04,650
was your way of trying
to get control of your life,

1311
01:01:04,850 --> 01:01:06,156
because you have to control everything.

1312
01:01:06,180 --> 01:01:08,950
It's like when you get out of the car
to "help me" parallel park,

1313
01:01:09,150 --> 01:01:10,630
when I can do it just fine on my own.

1314
01:01:10,810 --> 01:01:12,496
Yeah, I wouldn't call
a 17-point turn "just fine."

1315
01:01:12,520 --> 01:01:14,600
Well, those jeans you bought
from Old Navy last month

1316
01:01:14,690 --> 01:01:15,830
were women's jeans.

1317
01:01:16,030 --> 01:01:17,080
Uh...

1318
01:01:17,280 --> 01:01:18,796
Well, I found them in the men's section.

1319
01:01:18,820 --> 01:01:20,216
They made you look like Stevie Nicks.

1320
01:01:20,240 --> 01:01:22,670
That haircut that you got last year,
I hated it.

1321
01:01:22,870 --> 01:01:25,430
It made your head look square.
You looked like a fucking Simpson.

1322
01:01:25,500 --> 01:01:26,920
You said it was chic.

1323
01:01:27,120 --> 01:01:28,720
You act so confident,

1324
01:01:28,920 --> 01:01:30,800
so strong,
but you're just a scared little girl.

1325
01:01:32,240 --> 01:01:34,430
You're afraid to go all in
on this relationship

1326
01:01:34,630 --> 01:01:36,810
because it means you might
have something to lose.

1327
01:01:37,010 --> 01:01:38,410
(BREATH TREMBLING)

1328
01:01:43,830 --> 01:01:46,040
Well, you know what?
None of it matters anyway.

1329
01:01:47,130 --> 01:01:50,340
Because everyone we love could die.

1330
01:01:53,670 --> 01:01:54,970
Because of me.

1331
01:01:58,680 --> 01:02:00,000
(MARGY GASPS)

1332
01:02:00,200 --> 01:02:01,560
(TOM SHUSHES)

1333
01:02:13,530 --> 01:02:14,530
(RADIO CRACKLES)

1334
01:02:15,360 --> 01:02:17,066
PIRATE 2: I think they're
in the manager's house.

1335
01:02:17,090 --> 01:02:18,620
(ALL GASP)

1336
01:02:25,330 --> 01:02:27,120
- (DOOR CREAKS)
- (SHUSHES)

1337
01:02:32,960 --> 01:02:33,960
(DOOR CLOSES)

1338
01:02:38,760 --> 01:02:40,760
(FOOTSTEPS OVERHEAD)

1339
01:02:44,220 --> 01:02:46,060
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

1340
01:02:48,940 --> 01:02:50,510
(WHISPERING) I think they heard it.

1341
01:02:50,710 --> 01:02:51,760
(WHISPERING) Why?

1342
01:02:51,960 --> 01:02:53,570
They stopped speaking English.

1343
01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:56,740
Here. Take it.

1344
01:02:58,320 --> 01:02:59,950
(MARGY WHISPERING) Don't. Tom.

1345
01:03:02,410 --> 01:03:04,446
We need to get out of here.
Where does this tunnel go?

1346
01:03:04,470 --> 01:03:07,480
It leads straight to the pool
where the rest of the pirates are.

1347
01:03:07,680 --> 01:03:09,170
Oh, that's not ideal.

1348
01:03:10,960 --> 01:03:12,290
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

1349
01:03:13,380 --> 01:03:14,760
What are they saying?

1350
01:03:15,340 --> 01:03:16,450
No clue.

1351
01:03:16,650 --> 01:03:20,010
I don't know what language that is,
but it ain't Filipino.

1352
01:03:20,760 --> 01:03:22,140
- No.
- No.

1353
01:03:26,600 --> 01:03:28,480
No one move. Stay right here.

1354
01:03:29,060 --> 01:03:30,190
Nobody move.

1355
01:03:31,360 --> 01:03:32,860
DARCY: What are you doing?

1356
01:03:37,190 --> 01:03:39,200
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

1357
01:03:42,700 --> 01:03:43,700
Okay.

1358
01:03:44,120 --> 01:03:46,790
They know someone's here,
but they don't know all of us are.

1359
01:03:48,960 --> 01:03:51,960
You stay here until it's over.

1360
01:03:53,290 --> 01:03:54,290
Tom!

1361
01:03:58,630 --> 01:04:00,700
Tom! They're gonna kill you.

1362
01:04:00,900 --> 01:04:02,470
- Don't do this.
- TOM: I have to.

1363
01:04:03,140 --> 01:04:05,390
This isn't about us anymore. This is...

1364
01:04:06,060 --> 01:04:09,060
(SIGHS) This whole thing is my fault.

1365
01:04:12,270 --> 01:04:14,060
You deserve better.

1366
01:04:14,860 --> 01:04:15,860
Wait, Tom!

1367
01:04:16,610 --> 01:04:17,780
(GRUNTS)

1368
01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:28,310
(GROANS)

1369
01:04:28,510 --> 01:04:29,810
Uh... Oh, hey.

1370
01:04:30,010 --> 01:04:31,190
Hey, pirates!

1371
01:04:31,390 --> 01:04:33,650
I'm Tom, the groom you guys
have been looking for,

1372
01:04:33,850 --> 01:04:34,906
and I am officially surrendering.

1373
01:04:34,930 --> 01:04:35,996
- PIRATE 2: Shut up!
- TOM: All right.

1374
01:04:36,020 --> 01:04:37,416
What, you don't like
to be called "pirates"?

1375
01:04:37,440 --> 01:04:40,480
I wanted to be a pirate when I was a kid,
and you guys are actually doin' it.

1376
01:04:40,650 --> 01:04:42,126
- PIRATE 2: Move.
- TOM: You're livin' the dream.

1377
01:04:42,150 --> 01:04:43,150
Congratulations.

1378
01:04:43,510 --> 01:04:46,330
They didn't kill him. Oh, my God.

1379
01:04:46,530 --> 01:04:47,680
He's still alive.

1380
01:04:49,770 --> 01:04:50,770
PIRATE 2: Go!

1381
01:04:51,520 --> 01:04:53,730
Keep going. Just move.

1382
01:04:55,900 --> 01:04:58,260
CAROL: Tommy. Oh, my God.
It's Tommy. Tommy!

1383
01:04:58,460 --> 01:05:00,090
- (ALL CLAMORING)
- Shut up!

1384
01:05:00,290 --> 01:05:01,720
- Tommy, where is Darcy?
- Shut up!

1385
01:05:01,920 --> 01:05:04,680
PIRATE LEADER: Yes. Where is your bride?

1386
01:05:04,880 --> 01:05:06,490
- I... I don't know.
- (STAPLER CLICKS)

1387
01:05:07,660 --> 01:05:09,690
Truly. Honestly. I... I... I don't.

1388
01:05:09,890 --> 01:05:12,290
For reals. I don't...
I don't... I don't know.

1389
01:05:13,330 --> 01:05:14,730
You're a bad liar.

1390
01:05:14,930 --> 01:05:16,360
Yeah, he is a bad liar.

1391
01:05:16,560 --> 01:05:19,360
Tom, if you know something,
the best thing you can do is cooperate.

1392
01:05:19,560 --> 01:05:21,090
All they want is the money.

1393
01:05:22,130 --> 01:05:25,540
You know what? Thank you, Sean,
as always, for being the voice of reason.

1394
01:05:25,740 --> 01:05:26,740
Enough!

1395
01:05:26,820 --> 01:05:27,960
- (GUNS COCK)
- (GUESTS GASP)

1396
01:05:28,150 --> 01:05:30,270
- Okay, fine!
- LARRY: Okay.

1397
01:05:31,220 --> 01:05:32,640
I'll tell you where she is.

1398
01:05:33,850 --> 01:05:35,850
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

1399
01:05:38,360 --> 01:05:39,630
(WHISPERS) <i>Katuk kak ci.</i>

1400
01:05:39,830 --> 01:05:40,856
- PIRATE LEADER: What?
- (GRUNTS)

1401
01:05:40,880 --> 01:05:42,050
(GUESTS EXCLAIM)

1402
01:05:42,250 --> 01:05:43,650
Holy shit. What did you say to him?

1403
01:05:43,800 --> 01:05:45,276
TOM: It's kind of an inside joke, Sean.

1404
01:05:45,300 --> 01:05:46,776
Can you give me a hand?
I'm a little woozy.

1405
01:05:46,800 --> 01:05:48,390
SEAN: 'Course, man. Here, I got you.

1406
01:05:48,590 --> 01:05:50,890
- Whoa, whoa! Whoa!
- (ALL SCREAMING)

1407
01:05:51,090 --> 01:05:53,230
- (GUN COCKS)
- What the hell are you doing?

1408
01:05:53,430 --> 01:05:55,350
Don't move or I swear to God,
you'll lose an eye.

1409
01:05:55,470 --> 01:05:56,530
Tommy, what are you doing?

1410
01:05:56,730 --> 01:05:58,366
Are you gonna spill the beans or should I?

1411
01:05:58,390 --> 01:05:59,390
What beans?

1412
01:05:59,480 --> 01:06:00,820
(CRYING) Just spill the beans.

1413
01:06:01,020 --> 01:06:02,490
Sean hired these guys

1414
01:06:02,690 --> 01:06:05,090
to invade our wedding
to take Robert's money!

1415
01:06:05,720 --> 01:06:07,200
SEAN: Whoa. No, no, no, no, Tom.

1416
01:06:07,400 --> 01:06:08,400
No, it's true.

1417
01:06:08,570 --> 01:06:10,910
SEAN: That is a serious accusation,

1418
01:06:11,110 --> 01:06:12,370
but it's okay,

1419
01:06:12,570 --> 01:06:14,670
'cause jealousy can get
the best of any of us.

1420
01:06:14,870 --> 01:06:16,250
Oh, no, no, no. I'm not jealous.

1421
01:06:16,450 --> 01:06:17,846
- (GUESTS MURMUR)
- RENATA: Kind of.

1422
01:06:17,870 --> 01:06:20,510
It is completely normal
for you to see me as a threat

1423
01:06:20,710 --> 01:06:21,930
because Deedee and I

1424
01:06:22,130 --> 01:06:23,800
- had something transcendent.
- (SCOFFS)

1425
01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:26,060
But I am not a bad guy.

1426
01:06:26,250 --> 01:06:28,446
And I definitely don't have
anything to do with these pirates.

1427
01:06:28,470 --> 01:06:32,310
Oh, yeah? Then why did he deck me
when I told him to go fuck his grandpa?

1428
01:06:32,510 --> 01:06:34,400
Just listen. Listen to yourself.

1429
01:06:34,600 --> 01:06:36,650
I said it in Balinese.
These guys are not local.

1430
01:06:36,850 --> 01:06:38,030
They're from Bali.

1431
01:06:38,220 --> 01:06:41,110
Margy said the local pirates
just looted and left last time.

1432
01:06:41,310 --> 01:06:42,700
It took 'em, like, 20 minutes.

1433
01:06:42,900 --> 01:06:44,200
Oh, God. "Last time"?

1434
01:06:44,400 --> 01:06:46,376
We were clearly targeted.
This whole thing was planned.

1435
01:06:46,400 --> 01:06:49,080
They knew about Robert's money.

1436
01:06:49,280 --> 01:06:52,500
And none of it made sense
until I found this.

1437
01:06:52,700 --> 01:06:54,270
(SEAN GRUNTING)

1438
01:06:56,100 --> 01:06:57,630
Ricky, grab my... Grab the... the...

1439
01:06:57,830 --> 01:06:59,386
- RICKY: Yeah, yeah.
- In my front pocket. Grab...

1440
01:06:59,410 --> 01:07:00,596
There's an envelope in my front pocket.

1441
01:07:00,620 --> 01:07:02,650
- (ALL EXCLAIMING)
- Just grab it!

1442
01:07:03,110 --> 01:07:04,110
There you go.

1443
01:07:04,290 --> 01:07:05,690
A-ha!

1444
01:07:06,110 --> 01:07:07,476
PIRATE LEADER: Slow, slow. Go slow.

1445
01:07:07,500 --> 01:07:08,700
(TOM LAUGHS)

1446
01:07:09,160 --> 01:07:10,310
Your wedding invitation?

1447
01:07:10,510 --> 01:07:12,940
TOM: Yes, but I got it off
of one of these guys.

1448
01:07:13,130 --> 01:07:15,400
Now, how did they get that invitation?

1449
01:07:15,600 --> 01:07:17,060
- CAROL: I don't know.
- LARRY: Uh...

1450
01:07:17,260 --> 01:07:19,580
It had to be given to him
by an invited guest.

1451
01:07:20,500 --> 01:07:23,420
Now, what invited guest
could that be? Huh?

1452
01:07:26,010 --> 01:07:27,420
Ricky, op... open it.

1453
01:07:29,220 --> 01:07:30,680
A-ha!

1454
01:07:32,140 --> 01:07:36,540
This ass hat thought it was appropriate
to show up to a wedding he didn't RSVP to!

1455
01:07:36,740 --> 01:07:38,710
He didn't RSVP!

1456
01:07:38,910 --> 01:07:40,710
Mom, that's not the main issue right now.

1457
01:07:40,910 --> 01:07:44,300
Look, I'm a mother. I can be upset
about a lot of things at the same time.

1458
01:07:44,500 --> 01:07:46,546
I think, right now, we should be upset
about one thing.

1459
01:07:46,570 --> 01:07:49,100
- Oh, okay.
- TOM: Sean had these guys

1460
01:07:49,300 --> 01:07:51,600
crash our wedding
so that he could get a big fat ransom

1461
01:07:51,800 --> 01:07:53,180
from his best friend, Robert.

1462
01:07:53,380 --> 01:07:54,910
(GUESTS EXCLAIMING)

1463
01:07:56,500 --> 01:07:58,060
Huh? Yeah!

1464
01:07:58,260 --> 01:08:00,150
- SEAN: Bob... Bob.
- TOM: Yes!

1465
01:08:00,350 --> 01:08:01,670
This is because I didn't give you

1466
01:08:01,850 --> 01:08:03,530
that investment money
you wanted, isn't it?

1467
01:08:03,690 --> 01:08:05,130
- Yeah.
- No, no, it's not like that.

1468
01:08:05,190 --> 01:08:06,910
- (EXCLAIMS IN SPANISH)
- How could... <i>Papi.</i>

1469
01:08:06,940 --> 01:08:09,490
How could you believe
that I would come here and betray ev...

1470
01:08:09,690 --> 01:08:11,130
TOM: Believe it, Robert. Believe it.

1471
01:08:11,970 --> 01:08:13,930
- That's right. That's right.
- Shit.

1472
01:08:14,300 --> 01:08:15,810
- (GRUNTS)
- (ALL GASP)

1473
01:08:20,770 --> 01:08:21,840
(GUESTS CLAMORING)

1474
01:08:22,040 --> 01:08:25,650
See? See, I told ya! I told ya!

1475
01:08:26,860 --> 01:08:31,530
MARGY: These lanterns are so intricate.
Is there a note in it?

1476
01:08:36,410 --> 01:08:38,730
"Be excellent to each other."

1477
01:08:38,930 --> 01:08:40,540
- ACE: Hmm.
- MARGY: Hmm. Huh.

1478
01:08:43,790 --> 01:08:46,250
(WHEEZING CRY)

1479
01:08:48,510 --> 01:08:51,510
It's from <i>Bill and Ted's</i>
<i>Excellent Adventure.</i>

1480
01:08:52,720 --> 01:08:56,290
Tom wanted to put a movie quote
in each one of the lanterns, and I...

1481
01:08:56,490 --> 01:08:59,670
I thought it was stupid, but it's not.

1482
01:08:59,870 --> 01:09:01,960
It's sweet.

1483
01:09:02,160 --> 01:09:03,960
And I messed it all up.

1484
01:09:04,160 --> 01:09:06,090
I don't know how you guys do it.

1485
01:09:06,290 --> 01:09:09,280
You must have something
really special. (SNIFFLES)

1486
01:09:09,730 --> 01:09:12,260
- Not really.
- Oi.

1487
01:09:12,460 --> 01:09:16,140
Uh, I mean, it is special
but it is not magic.

1488
01:09:16,340 --> 01:09:18,310
We just made a vow.

1489
01:09:18,510 --> 01:09:21,060
And we've messed things up
thousands of times.

1490
01:09:21,260 --> 01:09:25,170
But when we break something, we fix it.

1491
01:09:27,590 --> 01:09:29,340
(PATTING MARGY)

1492
01:09:36,300 --> 01:09:38,310
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

1493
01:09:39,680 --> 01:09:43,060
MARGY: Darcy, we come with you,
but we don't want to.

1494
01:09:49,730 --> 01:09:51,680
Tommy finally made the big leagues.

1495
01:09:51,880 --> 01:09:54,030
Yeah, I never heard that one before.

1496
01:09:54,450 --> 01:09:56,110
I know you haven't.

1497
01:09:56,820 --> 01:09:59,270
- Where is she?
- I don't know.

1498
01:09:59,470 --> 01:10:01,026
I don't... I... I don't... I don't know.

1499
01:10:01,050 --> 01:10:03,730
- You're lying.
- No, I'm... I'm... Honestly,

1500
01:10:03,930 --> 01:10:05,420
- I don't know.
- Okay.

1501
01:10:06,540 --> 01:10:08,080
- (GRUNTS)
- (GUESTS EXCLAIMING)

1502
01:10:09,040 --> 01:10:10,040
God damn it!

1503
01:10:10,230 --> 01:10:11,576
- Would you stop doing that?
- CARO: Yeah.

1504
01:10:11,600 --> 01:10:14,370
- He'll do it again.
- TOM: Fine. Fine.

1505
01:10:14,570 --> 01:10:15,570
I was lying.

1506
01:10:15,730 --> 01:10:17,410
(GUESTS AGREEING)

1507
01:10:17,610 --> 01:10:20,620
After we cut ourselves loose,
Darcy and I got into a fight.

1508
01:10:20,820 --> 01:10:23,130
She hopped in a golf cart
to go look for cell reception

1509
01:10:23,320 --> 01:10:25,880
up by the northern coast
near the cliffs, and then I...

1510
01:10:26,080 --> 01:10:28,100
I came back here
to try to rescue everyone.

1511
01:10:28,650 --> 01:10:29,810
RICKY: Come on!

1512
01:10:33,990 --> 01:10:35,140
Okay.

1513
01:10:35,340 --> 01:10:36,340
(SIGHS)

1514
01:10:36,820 --> 01:10:38,396
PIRATE LEADER:
We'll take the chopper to find her.

1515
01:10:38,420 --> 01:10:39,730
I'm comin' with you.

1516
01:10:39,920 --> 01:10:41,850
I've been watching you
mess this up all day.

1517
01:10:42,050 --> 01:10:43,600
This is my show now.

1518
01:10:43,800 --> 01:10:45,200
(MOUTHING) Wow, that's really good.

1519
01:10:45,260 --> 01:10:46,960
We're doing this my way now. You got it?

1520
01:10:47,870 --> 01:10:48,960
We need collateral.

1521
01:10:50,750 --> 01:10:52,840
(UNSETTLING MUSIC PLAYING)

1522
01:10:59,510 --> 01:11:00,510
Get the girlfriend.

1523
01:11:00,650 --> 01:11:02,830
- (ALL CLAMORING)
- PIRATE 1: Hey. Come.

1524
01:11:03,030 --> 01:11:04,880
- Here. Move!
- Ow! Hey.

1525
01:11:05,070 --> 01:11:06,500
Oh, no.

1526
01:11:06,700 --> 01:11:08,630
- PIRATE 1: Go. Move!
- Please, I'm a Gemini.

1527
01:11:08,830 --> 01:11:10,480
I bruise easily.

1528
01:11:11,440 --> 01:11:12,896
- PIRATE 1: Go!
- HARRIETT: Ow! Ow! Ow!

1529
01:11:12,920 --> 01:11:14,650
- Oh, my God!
- SEAN: Robert? Robert!

1530
01:11:15,360 --> 01:11:17,550
When I get back,
that money better be in my account.

1531
01:11:17,750 --> 01:11:19,310
And if it's not, she's dead.

1532
01:11:19,510 --> 01:11:21,370
And I treated you just like a son.

1533
01:11:22,030 --> 01:11:23,890
- You're stuck with Tommy now.
- Robert.

1534
01:11:24,090 --> 01:11:26,190
- Well, what's wrong with that?
- Fuck off.

1535
01:11:26,390 --> 01:11:29,000
- (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
- (IMPERCEPTIBLE)

1536
01:11:36,050 --> 01:11:37,340
(SOFT THUD)

1537
01:11:39,340 --> 01:11:40,550
(THUD)

1538
01:11:42,930 --> 01:11:44,260
(PIRATES CHATTERING)

1539
01:11:44,680 --> 01:11:46,890
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

1540
01:11:48,480 --> 01:11:50,400
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

1541
01:11:51,770 --> 01:11:53,610
- (COCKS GUN)
- (ALL EXCLAIMING)

1542
01:11:54,440 --> 01:11:55,440
Darcy...

1543
01:11:55,630 --> 01:12:00,310
Tom, you promised you wouldn't
leave my side this weekend.

1544
01:12:00,510 --> 01:12:01,870
Darcy, what are you doing?

1545
01:12:02,280 --> 01:12:03,450
Tom, listen.

1546
01:12:03,950 --> 01:12:06,480
I'm still mad at you
for picking this pirate island,

1547
01:12:06,680 --> 01:12:09,210
but I messed up too.
I should've told you...

1548
01:12:10,500 --> 01:12:12,420
how scared I was to get married.

1549
01:12:13,170 --> 01:12:14,440
That wasn't fair.

1550
01:12:14,640 --> 01:12:16,536
You worked so hard
on this pirate island wedding.

1551
01:12:16,560 --> 01:12:18,450
Okay, no, no, no.
Please stop calling it that.

1552
01:12:18,650 --> 01:12:20,880
I just worried that if I told you...

1553
01:12:23,510 --> 01:12:24,930
that I would lose you.

1554
01:12:28,480 --> 01:12:30,600
And I can't lose you.

1555
01:12:33,190 --> 01:12:34,440
I need you.

1556
01:12:38,530 --> 01:12:39,740
Okay?

1557
01:12:43,410 --> 01:12:44,410
(SHOUTS) Okay?

1558
01:12:44,550 --> 01:12:45,350
- (ALL CLAMOR)
- Okay.

1559
01:12:45,550 --> 01:12:47,020
- Okay.
- TOM: Okay.

1560
01:12:47,220 --> 01:12:49,150
This is so much better than <i>South Pacific.</i>

1561
01:12:49,350 --> 01:12:50,750
And Mom, Dad?

1562
01:12:51,290 --> 01:12:53,110
- (ALL EXCLAIMING)
- (JAMIE SCREAMS)

1563
01:12:53,310 --> 01:12:54,310
Whoa!

1564
01:12:54,390 --> 01:12:55,496
- RICKY: Babe.
- What the fuck?

1565
01:12:55,520 --> 01:12:56,520
Did you just shoot me?

1566
01:12:56,800 --> 01:12:58,610
Stop shooting your sister!

1567
01:12:58,810 --> 01:13:01,090
I didn't mean to. It was a mistake. I...

1568
01:13:01,880 --> 01:13:03,380
(ALL GASP)

1569
01:13:04,640 --> 01:13:06,330
Mom, Dad, apologize to Tom.

1570
01:13:06,530 --> 01:13:07,960
- What? Why?
- What?

1571
01:13:08,160 --> 01:13:10,580
For criticizing this beautiful wedding
that he planned,

1572
01:13:10,780 --> 01:13:13,590
and for never making him
feel welcome in our family.

1573
01:13:13,790 --> 01:13:15,670
And for inviting Sean to our wedding.

1574
01:13:15,870 --> 01:13:17,550
Okay, honey, but I think there's

1575
01:13:17,750 --> 01:13:19,270
- a more pressing issue...
- Apologize!

1576
01:13:19,420 --> 01:13:21,340
- (ALL EXCLAIMING)
- He is the best person

1577
01:13:21,540 --> 01:13:22,540
that I know.

1578
01:13:22,630 --> 01:13:24,510
And if you say one more bad thing
about him,

1579
01:13:24,710 --> 01:13:26,990
I swear I will shoot you
like I shot Jamie.

1580
01:13:28,700 --> 01:13:29,700
Tom, I'm sorry. Sorry.

1581
01:13:29,840 --> 01:13:31,116
- Tom, sorry. Sorry.
- We love you.

1582
01:13:31,140 --> 01:13:32,286
- Oh, hey, it's fine.
- You're the best person

1583
01:13:32,310 --> 01:13:33,616
- I've ever met.
- TOM: It's okay. I love you.

1584
01:13:33,640 --> 01:13:34,946
- We love you like family.
- I love you, too.

1585
01:13:34,970 --> 01:13:36,866
- All right. It's all good.
- I love this place. Beautiful.

1586
01:13:36,890 --> 01:13:38,030
And, Carol, Larry...

1587
01:13:38,230 --> 01:13:39,576
- (ALL GASP)
- I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

1588
01:13:39,600 --> 01:13:43,330
This was more about me and my family,
but we should get lunch sometime.

1589
01:13:43,520 --> 01:13:44,520
- I would...
- Oh, yeah,

1590
01:13:44,610 --> 01:13:46,086
- lunch sounds great. Yeah.
- We love eating.

1591
01:13:46,110 --> 01:13:48,350
It's hard for anyone to live up
to your perfect marriage.

1592
01:13:48,400 --> 01:13:50,370
(CHUCKLES) Who told you
we had a perfect marriage?

1593
01:13:50,570 --> 01:13:52,710
Oh, come on, Mom.
You guys fought, like, once.

1594
01:13:52,910 --> 01:13:54,266
It was about who loved the dog more.

1595
01:13:54,290 --> 01:13:56,350
I mean, what is not perfect
about your marriage?

1596
01:13:56,980 --> 01:13:59,930
Well, I made love to your Aunt Marie.

1597
01:14:00,120 --> 01:14:01,400
- (ALL EXCLAIMING)
- RICKY: What?

1598
01:14:01,460 --> 01:14:02,976
- LARRY: Yeah.
- CAROL: Then I went out

1599
01:14:03,000 --> 01:14:04,680
and started doing all this weird sex stuff

1600
01:14:04,750 --> 01:14:05,810
with Jim Roberts.

1601
01:14:06,010 --> 01:14:07,290
LARRY: Yeah. You and Jim Roberts

1602
01:14:07,340 --> 01:14:09,060
- went on for a couple months.
- CAROL: Yes.

1603
01:14:09,220 --> 01:14:11,650
- Because our bodies just fit.
- MAN: Holy...

1604
01:14:11,840 --> 01:14:14,400
CAROL: In the end,
Jim Roberts just wasn't your dad.

1605
01:14:14,600 --> 01:14:16,790
And Aunt Marie realized
that she had a sex addiction.

1606
01:14:17,460 --> 01:14:20,210
But then you know what? We worked it out.

1607
01:14:23,170 --> 01:14:24,870
These are some incredible breakthroughs,

1608
01:14:25,070 --> 01:14:26,456
- right? I mean...
- PIRATE 2: Give me that!

1609
01:14:26,480 --> 01:14:27,480
(ALL SCREAMING)

1610
01:14:27,570 --> 01:14:28,750
You remember me, huh?

1611
01:14:28,950 --> 01:14:30,790
Look, you burn my face. Huh?

1612
01:14:30,990 --> 01:14:32,870
Yes, I know. I still feel
really bad about that.

1613
01:14:36,020 --> 01:14:37,920
Everybody, in the pool! Now!

1614
01:14:38,120 --> 01:14:40,220
- (FIRES GUN)
- (ALL SCREAMING)

1615
01:14:40,410 --> 01:14:42,110
Get in the pool! In!

1616
01:14:42,940 --> 01:14:44,400
Go! Go!

1617
01:14:44,940 --> 01:14:46,610
(TOM PANTING)

1618
01:14:47,570 --> 01:14:49,140
- Hey, you okay?
- Yes.

1619
01:14:49,340 --> 01:14:50,950
- Yeah?
- Are we missing people?

1620
01:14:51,450 --> 01:14:53,910
Yeah. Turns out
your boy Sean's an asshole.

1621
01:14:55,790 --> 01:14:56,790
We have the bride.

1622
01:14:56,970 --> 01:14:58,890
- (HELICOPTER WHIRRING)
- (ON RADIO) <i>Do you copy?</i>

1623
01:14:59,880 --> 01:15:01,340
<i>Do you copy?</i>

1624
01:15:06,880 --> 01:15:08,240
Up! Up!

1625
01:15:08,440 --> 01:15:10,450
- (INDISTINCT TALKING)
- Listen to me. Move.

1626
01:15:10,650 --> 01:15:13,420
Balinese? So these guys are Balinese?

1627
01:15:13,610 --> 01:15:16,330
And Sean is full of shit,
and they took Harriett hostage?

1628
01:15:16,530 --> 01:15:17,530
It doesn't make sense.

1629
01:15:17,660 --> 01:15:19,800
Why would Sean take Harriett hostage
on the helicopter

1630
01:15:20,000 --> 01:15:21,760
when she was already
being held hostage here?

1631
01:15:21,910 --> 01:15:24,340
I don't know. Maybe he wanted
to take her extra hostage.

1632
01:15:24,540 --> 01:15:26,360
LARRY: I think Harriett is in on it.

1633
01:15:26,820 --> 01:15:29,410
- TOM: What?
- DARCY: What do you mean?

1634
01:15:34,990 --> 01:15:36,910
Harriett and Sean...

1635
01:15:37,960 --> 01:15:39,190
are boyfriend-girlfriend.

1636
01:15:39,390 --> 01:15:40,870
- Oh, come on.
- Boyfriend-girlfriend?

1637
01:15:40,930 --> 01:15:42,250
LARRY: No, no. Look.

1638
01:15:42,920 --> 01:15:44,570
This is from last night.

1639
01:15:44,770 --> 01:15:46,570
Here we go. (GRUNTS)

1640
01:15:46,770 --> 01:15:47,990
(LATIN DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

1641
01:15:48,190 --> 01:15:49,700
Let's see.

1642
01:15:49,900 --> 01:15:52,680
Uh, hold on. Let me find it.

1643
01:15:53,680 --> 01:15:55,370
Oh. Oh, boy.

1644
01:15:55,570 --> 01:15:57,100
Yeah. There you go.

1645
01:15:58,270 --> 01:15:59,980
(ALL EXCLAIM)

1646
01:16:05,690 --> 01:16:07,680
What? Go ahead. Say it.

1647
01:16:07,880 --> 01:16:08,900
Roberto...

1648
01:16:12,820 --> 01:16:14,530
<i>Lo siento.</i>

1649
01:16:17,040 --> 01:16:18,290
<i>Gracias.</i>

1650
01:16:19,580 --> 01:16:20,920
<i>De nada.</i>

1651
01:16:22,420 --> 01:16:24,740
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

1652
01:16:24,940 --> 01:16:26,050
PIRATE LEADER: There!

1653
01:16:32,180 --> 01:16:35,410
Sean, you promised
this job would make us rich.

1654
01:16:35,610 --> 01:16:37,710
So far, all it's done
is killed four of my men.

1655
01:16:37,910 --> 01:16:39,210
Man, you know we can fix this.

1656
01:16:39,410 --> 01:16:41,880
Deal is off. I keep the money.

1657
01:16:42,080 --> 01:16:44,090
You walk away with your life.

1658
01:16:44,290 --> 01:16:46,720
I don't wanna hear it.
You and I had an arrangement.

1659
01:16:46,920 --> 01:16:49,180
Sean, be reasonable. He saved us.

1660
01:16:49,380 --> 01:16:51,316
- We're lucky to be alive.
- What are you talking about?

1661
01:16:51,340 --> 01:16:53,470
Listen to your woman.

1662
01:16:53,670 --> 01:16:54,980
- (YELPS)
- Oh.

1663
01:16:55,170 --> 01:16:57,740
It's okay. It's just a pressure point.
Relax.

1664
01:16:58,290 --> 01:17:00,000
Just breathe into it.

1665
01:17:00,750 --> 01:17:01,870
What?

1666
01:17:03,500 --> 01:17:04,580
What?

1667
01:17:05,080 --> 01:17:06,440
Take us back down.

1668
01:17:06,640 --> 01:17:08,740
We'll finish the job ourselves.

1669
01:17:08,940 --> 01:17:10,420
- Babe.
- What?

1670
01:17:11,630 --> 01:17:13,830
- Excellent idea.
- Yeah, I know.

1671
01:17:14,030 --> 01:17:16,510
(SCREAMS) I have to do everything myself!

1672
01:17:19,310 --> 01:17:21,460
What are we gonna do?
They'll be back any minute.

1673
01:17:21,660 --> 01:17:23,520
- Just...
- PIRATE 2: Hey, hey, hey!

1674
01:17:24,190 --> 01:17:26,860
No whispers.
Or I throw grenade in the pool.

1675
01:17:32,950 --> 01:17:33,950
(WHISPERING) Okay.

1676
01:17:34,660 --> 01:17:36,930
Go with me, okay?

1677
01:17:37,130 --> 01:17:38,280
Just go with me.

1678
01:17:38,990 --> 01:17:40,330
(IN NORMAL TONE) Hey, everybody.

1679
01:17:41,540 --> 01:17:43,620
Look, I know this may
not be the best time,

1680
01:17:44,830 --> 01:17:47,210
but this may be our only chance
to have our wedding.

1681
01:17:49,000 --> 01:17:50,210
What do you say, Darcy?

1682
01:17:51,420 --> 01:17:52,870
Yeah, I... I love it.

1683
01:17:53,070 --> 01:17:56,470
Can... Can we do bride's side on the left
and groom's on the right?

1684
01:18:00,100 --> 01:18:01,420
(ALL AGREEING)

1685
01:18:01,620 --> 01:18:03,060
Hey, Margy, will you officiate?

1686
01:18:04,020 --> 01:18:06,250
PIRATE 2: Hey, will you stop?
Stop it! Stop it now!

1687
01:18:06,450 --> 01:18:07,710
ROBERT: Wait, wait. If...

1688
01:18:07,910 --> 01:18:11,190
If you let my daughter have her wedding,
I'll... I'll release the funds.

1689
01:18:18,200 --> 01:18:19,580
Okay, let's go.

1690
01:18:26,790 --> 01:18:28,040
Let's go.

1691
01:18:28,840 --> 01:18:30,040
Thanks, Dad.

1692
01:18:30,550 --> 01:18:31,650
It's okay, princess.

1693
01:18:31,850 --> 01:18:34,090
There are some things
that are more important than money.

1694
01:18:34,720 --> 01:18:36,970
I don't know what they are,
but I think, uh...

1695
01:18:48,980 --> 01:18:49,980
(DARCY SIGHS)

1696
01:18:50,120 --> 01:18:51,650
Hope you know what you're doing.

1697
01:18:57,860 --> 01:18:59,990
(CAROL HUMS)

1698
01:19:05,120 --> 01:19:07,610
♪ <i>The strands in your eyes ♪</i>

1699
01:19:07,810 --> 01:19:10,530
♪ <i>They color them wonderful ♪</i>

1700
01:19:10,730 --> 01:19:14,880
♪ <i>Stops me</i>
<i>And steals my breath ♪</i>

1701
01:19:15,550 --> 01:19:17,970
BOTH:
♪ <i>Emeralds from mountains</i> ♪

1702
01:19:18,220 --> 01:19:20,580
♪ <i>Thrust from the sky ♪</i>

1703
01:19:20,780 --> 01:19:24,720
♪ <i>Never revealing their depth ♪</i>

1704
01:19:25,310 --> 01:19:27,140
♪ <i>And tell me ♪</i>

1705
01:19:27,640 --> 01:19:30,420
♪ <i>We belong together ♪</i>

1706
01:19:30,620 --> 01:19:34,930
♪ <i>Dress it up with the trappings of love ♪</i>

1707
01:19:35,130 --> 01:19:37,510
♪ <i>I'll be captivated ♪</i>

1708
01:19:37,710 --> 01:19:40,220
♪ <i>I'll hang from your lips ♪</i>

1709
01:19:40,420 --> 01:19:42,520
♪ <i>Instead of the gallows ♪</i>

1710
01:19:42,720 --> 01:19:48,020
♪ <i>Of heartaches</i>
<i>That hang from above ♪</i>

1711
01:19:48,220 --> 01:19:53,610
♪ <i>And I'll be your cryin' shoulder ♪</i>

1712
01:19:53,810 --> 01:19:58,160
♪ <i>I'll be love's suicide ♪</i>

1713
01:19:58,360 --> 01:20:04,000
♪ <i>And I'll be better</i>
<i>When I'm older ♪</i>

1714
01:20:04,200 --> 01:20:08,960
♪ <i>I'll be the greatest fan of your life ♪</i>

1715
01:20:09,160 --> 01:20:14,170
♪ <i>And I'll be your cryin' shoulder ♪</i>

1716
01:20:14,370 --> 01:20:18,970
♪ <i>I'll be love's suicide ♪</i>

1717
01:20:19,170 --> 01:20:21,890
<i>- ♪ And I'll be ♪</i>
- RENATA: <i>♪ I'll be ♪</i>

1718
01:20:22,090 --> 01:20:24,430
♪ <i>Better when I'm older ♪</i>

1719
01:20:24,630 --> 01:20:29,900
♪ <i>I'll be the greatest fan of your life ♪</i>

1720
01:20:30,100 --> 01:20:31,110
♪ <i>I'll be ♪</i>

1721
01:20:31,310 --> 01:20:32,880
(CLAMORING)

1722
01:20:33,420 --> 01:20:35,090
(CAROL SCREAMING)

1723
01:20:35,840 --> 01:20:38,030
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- (COCKS GUN)

1724
01:20:38,230 --> 01:20:39,630
I think you'd regret that.

1725
01:20:41,430 --> 01:20:43,010
(ALL GASP)

1726
01:20:43,970 --> 01:20:45,540
PIRATE 2: Oh! No, no. Stop.

1727
01:20:45,740 --> 01:20:46,820
I'm fairly new to grenades.

1728
01:20:46,910 --> 01:20:50,670
But I'm pretty sure that if you shoot me,
this springy thing pops off,

1729
01:20:50,870 --> 01:20:52,630
and then this thing blows us all away.

1730
01:20:52,830 --> 01:20:54,136
- Ain't that right, babe?
- That's right, baby.

1731
01:20:54,160 --> 01:20:56,230
- PIRATE 2: No, no, no.
- WOMAN: What the...

1732
01:20:56,730 --> 01:20:57,820
Drop the guns.

1733
01:21:00,320 --> 01:21:01,760
- PIRATE 2: No.
- (GRUNTS)

1734
01:21:01,960 --> 01:21:04,030
(ALL SCREAMING AND CLAMORING)

1735
01:21:12,790 --> 01:21:13,860
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)

1736
01:21:14,060 --> 01:21:15,740
I can't throw that far.
It won't reach him.

1737
01:21:17,380 --> 01:21:18,400
(COCKS GUN)

1738
01:21:18,600 --> 01:21:20,570
Nobody fucks with my family.

1739
01:21:20,770 --> 01:21:23,090
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

1740
01:21:33,310 --> 01:21:35,400
Darcy? Give me a meatball.

1741
01:21:35,690 --> 01:21:36,860
- (GUN CLICKS)
- Shit.

1742
01:21:40,030 --> 01:21:41,650
(ALL EXCLAIM)

1743
01:21:43,570 --> 01:21:45,470
(ALL EXCLAIMING)

1744
01:21:45,670 --> 01:21:47,660
(FIREWORKS WHISTLING)

1745
01:21:52,910 --> 01:21:54,190
I know where to go!

1746
01:21:54,390 --> 01:21:56,150
Let's get moving! Out of the pool!

1747
01:21:56,350 --> 01:21:57,706
- TOM: Yeah!
- Come on! Come, come, come!

1748
01:21:57,730 --> 01:21:59,170
DARCY: Get out of the pool! Come on!

1749
01:22:01,590 --> 01:22:03,950
- TOM: Yeah, let's go.
- ACE: Margy! The spa!

1750
01:22:04,150 --> 01:22:05,490
DARCY: It's safe in the spa!

1751
01:22:05,690 --> 01:22:07,966
HARRIETT: They should've been
killing hostages every hour.

1752
01:22:07,990 --> 01:22:10,290
Killing people works, Sean.

1753
01:22:10,490 --> 01:22:11,920
- Fuck.
- Look, give me one chance

1754
01:22:12,120 --> 01:22:13,120
to convince Darcy.

1755
01:22:13,200 --> 01:22:15,560
- All right? One.
- Fine. One chance.

1756
01:22:17,310 --> 01:22:18,860
Thank you, baby.

1757
01:22:19,860 --> 01:22:22,070
This is not a moment right now, Sean.

1758
01:22:24,030 --> 01:22:26,160
- Move, come on! Come on!
- PIRATE: All right!

1759
01:22:27,370 --> 01:22:30,230
Mom! Mom, we're gonna go get help.

1760
01:22:30,430 --> 01:22:32,370
I need you to take care of them.
Can you do that?

1761
01:22:35,120 --> 01:22:36,460
And Carol...

1762
01:22:37,710 --> 01:22:39,420
thank you for the cake knife.

1763
01:22:40,710 --> 01:22:42,450
I fucking love this cake knife.

1764
01:22:42,650 --> 01:22:44,300
(CAROL CHUCKLES)

1765
01:22:49,260 --> 01:22:51,720
("NO ORDINARY" BY LABRINTH PLAYING)

1766
01:22:54,180 --> 01:22:56,520
It's just you and me now. Let's go.

1767
01:22:57,980 --> 01:22:59,230
<i>♪ Yeah ♪</i>

1768
01:23:00,730 --> 01:23:07,700
<i>♪ Yeah, me in awe of you now ♪</i>

1769
01:23:09,320 --> 01:23:10,660
<i>♪ Hmm ♪</i>

1770
01:23:12,080 --> 01:23:14,900
<i>- ♪ This song call ♪
- ♪ Unconditional ♪</i>

1771
01:23:15,100 --> 01:23:18,480
<i>- ♪ This show no devotion ♪
- ♪ Devotion ♪</i>

1772
01:23:18,680 --> 01:23:21,400
<i>♪ Got my heart so wide open ♪</i>

1773
01:23:21,600 --> 01:23:23,240
<i>♪ Lifting my spirit
Like a Holy Ghost ♪</i>

1774
01:23:23,440 --> 01:23:26,120
<i>- ♪ All this ♪
- ♪ All this love, love ♪</i>

1775
01:23:26,320 --> 01:23:30,180
<i>- ♪ No ordinary love ♪
- ♪ Ordinary love ♪</i>

1776
01:23:31,800 --> 01:23:33,390
<i>♪ Yeah ♪</i>

1777
01:23:35,390 --> 01:23:36,750
<i>♪ La, la, la, la
La-la-la-la ♪</i>

1778
01:23:36,950 --> 01:23:37,960
(PHONE CAMERA CLICKS)

1779
01:23:38,160 --> 01:23:40,840
<i>♪ Ah, la, la, la, la
La-la-la-la ♪</i>

1780
01:23:41,040 --> 01:23:42,970
<i>♪ La, la, la, la
La-la-la-la ♪</i>

1781
01:23:43,170 --> 01:23:46,430
<i>♪ La, la, la, la
La-la-la-la-love ♪</i>

1782
01:23:46,630 --> 01:23:48,930
<i>♪ La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la ♪</i>

1783
01:23:49,130 --> 01:23:52,030
<i>♪ La, la, la, la
La-la-la-la ♪</i>

1784
01:23:53,330 --> 01:23:55,290
(IMPERCEPTIBLE)

1785
01:24:07,420 --> 01:24:10,300
<i>♪ I need you in my arm ♪</i>

1786
01:24:10,630 --> 01:24:12,050
<i>♪ Yeah, yeah ♪</i>

1787
01:24:14,140 --> 01:24:15,260
<i>♪ Hey ♪</i>

1788
01:24:20,020 --> 01:24:26,630
<i>♪ All this no ordinary love ♪</i>

1789
01:24:26,830 --> 01:24:28,390
<i>♪ Love, love, love, love ♪</i>

1790
01:24:28,590 --> 01:24:29,780
<i>♪ Yeah ♪</i>

1791
01:24:33,160 --> 01:24:35,160
TOM: Hey, wasn't this
the plan with too many steps?

1792
01:24:44,920 --> 01:24:46,250
You did this for me?

1793
01:24:47,760 --> 01:24:49,030
TOM: Is this what you wanted?

1794
01:24:49,230 --> 01:24:50,910
Just you and me
in the middle of the ocean?

1795
01:24:53,590 --> 01:24:56,000
Darcy, I'm sorry
I stopped listening to you.

1796
01:24:56,200 --> 01:24:58,280
I just thought that
if I planned the perfect wedding,

1797
01:24:58,410 --> 01:25:00,270
we could have the perfect marriage, but...

1798
01:25:01,060 --> 01:25:02,440
But that doesn't exist.

1799
01:25:03,060 --> 01:25:04,670
I mean, look at my parents.

1800
01:25:04,870 --> 01:25:06,980
My Aunt Marie, the sex addict.

1801
01:25:08,360 --> 01:25:11,610
I just wanna be with you.
All that matters is you.

1802
01:25:12,360 --> 01:25:13,780
We don't ever have to get married.

1803
01:25:15,490 --> 01:25:17,410
And if we survive this thing,
can we just...

1804
01:25:18,950 --> 01:25:20,200
Can we start over?

1805
01:25:22,500 --> 01:25:23,870
- (GUNSHOTS)
- (DARCY SCREAMS)

1806
01:25:26,170 --> 01:25:27,500
TOM: Go, go, go, go.

1807
01:25:27,920 --> 01:25:29,760
SEAN: Deedee, listen to me!

1808
01:25:30,420 --> 01:25:33,200
Deedee, this is
a huge misunderstanding, all right?

1809
01:25:33,400 --> 01:25:37,710
Let's go back to the resort,
talk this over. I do not want to hurt you.

1810
01:25:37,910 --> 01:25:39,330
Then stop shooting at us, asshole!

1811
01:25:39,530 --> 01:25:41,330
And stop calling her Deedee!

1812
01:25:41,530 --> 01:25:43,060
- DARCY: Fuck!
- Oh, Jesus!

1813
01:25:44,270 --> 01:25:45,730
This thing is awful!

1814
01:25:46,360 --> 01:25:47,900
(SCREAMING) Yeah!

1815
01:25:48,230 --> 01:25:50,900
Asshole! Fuckin' leave! What the fuck?

1816
01:25:52,490 --> 01:25:55,530
God, I can't believe you, Sean!
When did you turn into such a monster?

1817
01:25:56,160 --> 01:25:57,560
SEAN: I am not a monster!

1818
01:25:57,760 --> 01:25:59,020
I'm an entrepreneur!

1819
01:25:59,220 --> 01:26:00,560
I think I'm out of ammo.

1820
01:26:00,760 --> 01:26:02,080
- Are you sure?
- Not at all.

1821
01:26:02,540 --> 01:26:03,620
Hey.

1822
01:26:08,750 --> 01:26:09,996
- Yeah.
- SEAN: I don't wanna do this.

1823
01:26:10,020 --> 01:26:11,416
- (GUNSHOT)
- I'm a good guy, damn it!

1824
01:26:11,440 --> 01:26:12,820
(GUNSHOTS)

1825
01:26:13,020 --> 01:26:14,380
- (GUN CLICKING)
- Shit.

1826
01:26:14,970 --> 01:26:16,330
SEAN: Your boat's dead.

1827
01:26:16,530 --> 01:26:19,870
We're both out of ammo. Let's just go back
and we can work this whole thing out.

1828
01:26:20,070 --> 01:26:21,390
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

1829
01:26:24,520 --> 01:26:25,520
(GRUNTS)

1830
01:26:25,700 --> 01:26:27,350
(BOTH GRUNTING)

1831
01:26:27,940 --> 01:26:29,630
(ENGINE STARTS)

1832
01:26:29,830 --> 01:26:30,930
DARCY: Tom!

1833
01:26:31,120 --> 01:26:32,280
(TOM GRUNTS)

1834
01:26:34,450 --> 01:26:35,530
TOM: Go, go!

1835
01:26:37,070 --> 01:26:39,160
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

1836
01:26:42,490 --> 01:26:43,540
(SEAN YELLS)

1837
01:26:46,420 --> 01:26:48,460
(HELICOPTER WHIRRING)

1838
01:26:49,630 --> 01:26:51,630
(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

1839
01:27:11,520 --> 01:27:13,320
Darcy, turn this boat around right now.

1840
01:27:14,740 --> 01:27:15,740
DARCY: No.

1841
01:27:18,450 --> 01:27:21,060
You're a piece of shit, Sean,
but I know you can't kill me.

1842
01:27:21,260 --> 01:27:22,260
You're right.

1843
01:27:22,740 --> 01:27:24,620
But I would love to kill this guy.

1844
01:27:25,120 --> 01:27:27,770
You just keep messing things up, man.
This is on you.

1845
01:27:27,970 --> 01:27:30,880
I don't wanna do this. I'm a good guy.

1846
01:27:31,960 --> 01:27:33,300
No, you're not.

1847
01:27:34,090 --> 01:27:36,170
All right, you're right. I'm not.

1848
01:27:36,670 --> 01:27:37,740
(DARCY SHRIEKS)

1849
01:27:37,940 --> 01:27:39,050
(TOM GASPS)

1850
01:27:39,510 --> 01:27:40,830
- (ENGINE REVS)
- (SEAN SCREAMS)

1851
01:27:41,030 --> 01:27:43,060
(MUSIC CONTINUES)

1852
01:27:44,010 --> 01:27:45,560
(BOTH GRUNTING)

1853
01:27:48,060 --> 01:27:49,060
(WHIMPERS)

1854
01:27:50,980 --> 01:27:52,150
Sean!

1855
01:27:54,980 --> 01:27:56,440
(GRUNTING CONTINUES)

1856
01:27:58,280 --> 01:27:59,970
You were a pity invite!

1857
01:28:00,170 --> 01:28:01,390
- (DARCY GRUNTS)
- Shit!

1858
01:28:01,590 --> 01:28:03,280
Whoa! Whoa!

1859
01:28:09,580 --> 01:28:11,320
No! Fuck!

1860
01:28:11,520 --> 01:28:12,820
(GROANS)

1861
01:28:13,020 --> 01:28:14,670
(SEAN AND TOM GRUNTING)

1862
01:28:18,050 --> 01:28:19,090
(TOM SCREAMS)

1863
01:28:23,890 --> 01:28:24,930
(YELPS)

1864
01:28:30,190 --> 01:28:31,190
- (GUNSHOT)
- (YELPS)

1865
01:28:36,730 --> 01:28:38,510
Is that a wad of loose hair?

1866
01:28:38,710 --> 01:28:40,100
TOM: Custom-made hair!

1867
01:28:40,300 --> 01:28:41,760
(TOM GRUNTS)

1868
01:28:41,960 --> 01:28:43,870
(HEROIC MUSIC PLAYING)

1869
01:28:45,660 --> 01:28:46,910
(GASPS)

1870
01:28:53,920 --> 01:28:55,000
(TOM LAUGHS)

1871
01:28:56,300 --> 01:28:57,990
(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

1872
01:28:58,190 --> 01:28:59,190
- Get down!
- (SCREAMS)

1873
01:29:04,220 --> 01:29:05,390
Oh, frick.

1874
01:29:05,970 --> 01:29:07,350
(SEAN SCREAMS)

1875
01:29:13,850 --> 01:29:14,860
TOM: Hold on.

1876
01:29:20,690 --> 01:29:22,530
Oh, shit.

1877
01:29:24,780 --> 01:29:25,990
(DARCY SHRIEKS)

1878
01:29:26,780 --> 01:29:28,370
(ENGINE WHINES)

1879
01:29:34,670 --> 01:29:35,880
(DARCY GASPS)

1880
01:29:37,420 --> 01:29:38,800
Holy shit.

1881
01:29:44,340 --> 01:29:46,760
("NO ORDINARY" BY LABRINTH PLAYING)

1882
01:30:13,000 --> 01:30:14,710
So when I asked you before

1883
01:30:16,290 --> 01:30:17,500
if we could start over...

1884
01:30:20,340 --> 01:30:21,880
I don't wanna start over.

1885
01:30:33,230 --> 01:30:34,810
I wanna keep going.

1886
01:30:35,640 --> 01:30:37,650
(TENDER MUSIC PLAYING)

1887
01:30:49,280 --> 01:30:50,740
Tom Fowler,

1888
01:30:51,790 --> 01:30:53,250
will you marry me?

1889
01:30:59,790 --> 01:31:01,000
Are you sure?

1890
01:31:02,920 --> 01:31:04,050
You're not scared?

1891
01:31:06,010 --> 01:31:07,890
I'm terrified. (BREATH TREMBLING)

1892
01:31:09,140 --> 01:31:11,970
Life is always gonna be chaotic.

1893
01:31:13,930 --> 01:31:15,680
But what I know for sure...

1894
01:31:17,480 --> 01:31:20,150
is that I wanna go through
all of it with you.

1895
01:31:22,900 --> 01:31:24,940
It's simple, really. (SNIFFLES)

1896
01:31:27,070 --> 01:31:28,700
Just a plan with one step.

1897
01:31:38,460 --> 01:31:39,540
Still fits.

1898
01:31:45,880 --> 01:31:48,090
(SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

1899
01:31:59,650 --> 01:32:01,440
(JAMIE SOFTLY) Stop. Be quiet.

1900
01:32:21,290 --> 01:32:22,920
(CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)

1901
01:32:23,460 --> 01:32:25,740
- (FIREWORK EXPLODING)
- (ALL SCREAMING)

1902
01:32:25,940 --> 01:32:28,030
Shit! Sorry! Sorry!

1903
01:32:28,230 --> 01:32:29,780
There was one firework left

1904
01:32:29,980 --> 01:32:32,086
and I thought it would be fun,
and beautiful, and poignant,

1905
01:32:32,110 --> 01:32:33,710
- but it was absolutely not!
- (LAUGHING)

1906
01:32:33,820 --> 01:32:35,100
- (MARGY LAUGHS)
- Come here.

1907
01:32:36,220 --> 01:32:38,600
(INTRO TO "WALK LIKE AN EGYPTIAN" PLAYING)

1908
01:32:44,150 --> 01:32:45,900
(FAST-FORWARDING)

1909
01:32:49,950 --> 01:32:52,350
♪ <i>All the old paintings</i>
<i>On the tomb ♪</i>

1910
01:32:52,550 --> 01:32:54,600
♪ <i>They do the sand dance,</i>
<i>Don't you know ♪</i>

1911
01:32:54,800 --> 01:32:56,060
♪ <i>If you move too fast ♪</i>

1912
01:32:56,260 --> 01:32:57,260
ALL: <i>♪ Oh-way-oh ♪</i>

1913
01:32:57,340 --> 01:32:59,230
♪ <i>They're falling down</i>
<i>Like a domino ♪</i>

1914
01:32:59,430 --> 01:33:01,570
♪ <i>All the bazaar men</i>
<i>By the Nile ♪</i>

1915
01:33:01,770 --> 01:33:03,820
♪ <i>They got the money</i>
<i>On a bet ♪</i>

1916
01:33:04,020 --> 01:33:05,190
♪ <i>Gold crocodiles ♪</i>

1917
01:33:05,390 --> 01:33:06,390
ALL: <i>♪ Oh-way-oh ♪</i>

1918
01:33:06,520 --> 01:33:08,200
♪ <i>They snap their teeth</i>
<i>On your cigarette ♪</i>

1919
01:33:08,360 --> 01:33:10,160
♪ <i>Foreign types</i>
<i>With the hookah pipes say ♪</i>

1920
01:33:10,360 --> 01:33:12,990
ALL: <i>♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪</i>

1921
01:33:13,190 --> 01:33:16,970
♪ <i>Way-oh-way-oh ♪</i>

1922
01:33:17,390 --> 01:33:20,710
♪ <i>Walk like an Egyptian ♪</i>

1923
01:33:20,910 --> 01:33:22,770
(ALL CHEERING)

1924
01:33:31,070 --> 01:33:33,510
♪ <i>The blonde waitresses</i>
<i>Take their trays ♪</i>

1925
01:33:33,710 --> 01:33:35,600
♪ <i>They spin around</i>
<i>And they cross the floor ♪</i>

1926
01:33:35,800 --> 01:33:36,850
♪ <i>They've got the moves ♪</i>

1927
01:33:37,050 --> 01:33:38,950
ALL: <i>♪ Oh-way-oh ♪</i>

1928
01:33:40,370 --> 01:33:42,690
♪ <i>All the school kids</i>
<i>So sick of books ♪</i>

1929
01:33:42,890 --> 01:33:44,900
♪ <i>They like the punk</i>
<i>And the metal band ♪</i>

1930
01:33:45,100 --> 01:33:47,240
♪ <i>I do not know what to do ♪</i>

1931
01:33:47,440 --> 01:33:49,320
♪ <i>I drank so much</i>
<i>Oh, my God, I'm sick ♪</i>

1932
01:33:49,520 --> 01:33:51,530
♪ <i>All the kids</i>
<i>In the marketplace say ♪</i>

1933
01:33:51,730 --> 01:33:54,160
ALL: <i>♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪</i>

1934
01:33:54,360 --> 01:33:57,760
♪ <i>Way-oh-way-oh ♪</i>

1935
01:33:58,600 --> 01:34:01,040
♪ <i>Walk like an Egyptian ♪</i>

1936
01:34:01,240 --> 01:34:03,170
(ALL CHEERING)

1937
01:34:03,370 --> 01:34:05,770
♪ <i>I'm down</i>
<i>For the way he feels ♪</i>

1938
01:34:07,560 --> 01:34:09,650
(INSTRUMENTAL BREAK)

1939
01:34:14,400 --> 01:34:15,950
Whoo!

1940
01:34:44,480 --> 01:34:46,730
(WHISTLING VERSE TUNE)

1941
01:34:52,530 --> 01:34:53,690
Make sure the batteries work.

1942
01:34:56,610 --> 01:35:00,530
I'm so sorry that I invited two con men
to your wedding.

1943
01:35:01,120 --> 01:35:04,940
And I don't know
if I'm attracted to toxic people,

1944
01:35:05,140 --> 01:35:07,120
or toxic people are attracted to me.

1945
01:35:08,040 --> 01:35:09,840
- (SONG ENDS)
- (ALL CHEERING)

1946
01:35:18,300 --> 01:35:20,300
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)