[Zazzala] James Olsen,
are you ready to catalyze a chemical reaction?
If so, join us at W.O.R.M.S.
I'm Zazzala,
CEO of the World Organization
for Romantic Matchmaking Science,
a.k.a, W.O.R.M.S.
-[seductively] W.O.R.M.S. -And this is my partner,
our chief biologist, Tazzala.
We found true love through the miracle of science
and so can you.
James Olsen,
you're invited to our exclusive matchmaking launch event.
Meet someone new! Try our new dating app.
And electrify your love life at W.O.R.M.S.
[Tazzala seductively] W.O.R.M.S.
"Scientific romance"?
Jimmy, please tell us you're not--
Hey, Birdwatchers, guess who's going to W.O.R.M.S.?
Jimmy, are you doing this to get back at Kara
for taking your advice?
[scoffs] Lois, it's for work.
Flamebird isn't just news anymore.
It's also a lifestyle brand.
Why don't you just stop playing games and ask her out?
I don't know if you've noticed,
but Kara is dating half of Metropolis now.
Which was your idea!
Well, I can't just sit around and watch her do it.
[Lois grunts in frustration]
And if Kara happens to see me
with a bunch of gorgeous scientists,
well...
I swear I remember
Perry assigning you actual work.
About the Distortionist?
The mysterious person mutating people
with genetic manipulation?
Eh, that can wait.
Because Clark and I are going to W.O.R.M.S.
-Yeah, I'm not doing that. -What?
Well, so far today, my Superman calendar is free.
Which means my Lois calendar is booked.
Starting with homemade breakfast.
[Lois] Um, Clark, what is that?
Oh, it's the model I bought at the convention.
Pretty cute, right?
[laughs nervously] Yeah.
Yeah. Uh, is that us? Or?
It's not, not us.
It's our hypothetical farmhouse.
The one that we could live in one day.
You... You remember?
Oh, I remember.
Just to see it now is...
You know what I remember?
How fun it will be when Clark and I
roll into W.O.R.M.S. together!
-Huh? Huh? -I'll drop you off.
But that's it.
Whoo-hoo!
-W.O.R.M.S.! W.O.R.M.S.! -Hey, um, you good?
-[Jimmy] W.O.R.M.S.! -[unconvincingly] I'm great!
[opening theme music playing]
[panting]
Stop! My purse! Thief!
[whooshing]
[panting]
[grunts]
Hold it right there.
Listen, I don't want any trouble.
[thuds]
Uh...
Superman?
The name's Captain Hank Henshaw.
Don't mention it.
Uh, is that guy okay?
[man grunts in pain]
That thief got what he deserved.
But Superman--
Superman oughta be tougher on crime.
[Lex on phone] Nicely done, Hank.
How does it feel
to make the world a safer place?
Feels great.
Jimmy Flamebird,
did you know that hot dogs come in chili variety?
That dummy doesn't deserve you or your delicious chili dogs.
He's at a speed-dating event trying to make you jealous.
Why would I be jealous?
I am a Kryptonian warrior, as strong as I am beautiful.
Kara, I've been with Clark for a while now,
so I know a thing or two about relationships.
Jimmy's trying to prove to himself
that he's just desirable as you are,
which... [scoffs] good luck.
So it is a competition?
A game.
Yes. A dumb game.
Then I shall win this game,
and make Jimmy Flamebird my Earth mate.
That's the spirit.
But first, you have to escalate.
Put yourself out there.
Oh! Remember Crushrush?
The romantic telephone application?
Yeah.
Crushrush will get you so many dates that--
That I will be victorious!
Ha, ha. All right.
Lois Lane, I, Kara Zor-El, will defeat your Crushrush.
[camera shutter clicks]
[chattering indistinctly]
Wow, this is really--
[gasps] A lot.
Care to share first impressions?
We're doing promotion for the app.
Amazing.
Robot waiters? VR date nights?
[high-pitched] What's not to love about W.O.R.M.S.?
Yeah, I... I didn't sign a release for this.
[Clark] Best of luck, Jimmy.
Bye, love you, best friends forever.
-Time to find my-- -[woman] Soil-mate!
[seductive voices] W.O.R.M.S., W.O.R.M.S.
I'm Zazzala--
And this is your girlfriend, Tazzala.
Did I say something wrong?
[sighs wearily] We broke up.
There were communications issues.
Is it 'cause she doesn't talk?
No! Don't let our star-crossed love distract you
from your scientifically-selected
soil mate.
I just hope your calculations "add up" better than mine,
you know what I mean?
-[laughs] -[woman] W.O.R.M.S.
[sighs] Anyway, she's over there.
[Lois] Okay, Kara.
An important step
in building out a dating profile
is answering questions.
First up, "Describe yourself."
Warrior.
No, more like, "What's your style?"
My style is a mix of traditional Klukor
and modified Horu-Kanu.
Okay.
"Sporty."
Let's try some interests.
If you don't have any answer, just say "Pass."
-"Favorite movie." -Pass.
-"Favorite book." -Pass.
"Mountains or ocean?"
Pass. No!
Pass.
I think you're gonna need a few more Earthly experiences
before answering these questions.
Ooh, are there any experiences here?
[mooing sound effect plays]
New plan! Let's hit the town
and find out what kind of things you like.
Yeah.
You ready for a fun-filled Saturday?
Uh, Clark, I'm really sorry,
but something important just came up.
We are going to punch the town.
"Hit the town."
Oh, okay.
Girl time.
I'll just, uh, work on the farm.
[newscaster] Emergency at the waterfront.
Dogs are people are trapped in a fire
at the Metropolis Adopt on a Yacht event.
[Clark groans]
[dogs whimpering]
[blows]
[woman] Thanks, Superman.
We can always count on you.
It's my pleasure, ma'am.
[barking]
And my pleasure too, sir.
What's your adoption policy like?
Easy!
Do you have a government ID?
[dog whimpers]
-I'll get back to you. -[dog whimpers]
Jimmy Olsen, founder of Flamebird,
friend of Superman.
I've been dying to meet you.
I'm so interested in your body.
Oh! [chuckles nervously] My.
Well, I, um...
Specifically, how much has been exposed to Kryptonite.
Tell me. Have you noticed any effects?
Not really.
Fascinating.
Doris. But my friends call me "Gigi".
Jimmy. But my friends call me Jimmy.
[chuckles softly] I need to tell you, Jimmy,
I'm looking for an open-minded person.
Well, that's me.
Good, because I tend to change people.
-I'm open to change. -Excellent.
[sprays]
Is there a... [sniffs] smell in here?
Oh, I'm setting a mood. [laughs]
So, you've been to space, too, right?
Has that affected you at all?
-Is that-- -Chocolate? Romance? Here.
And interdimensional travel?
Well, not recently, but-- Ow!
What did you do?
Things are doing great with Gigi.
No one's ever been this into me.
And hearing about it will definitely make
a certain super someone super jealous.
Ah, silly Clark Jr.,
you forgot your mitt.
[newscaster] This just in!
-Robbery at LexCorp. -[siren wailing on TV]
Thankfully, no dogs are involved.
Huh.
[newscaster continues] ...but these super-powered bandits
pose a clear threat to nearby civilians.
[Clark groans]
So. Tell me more about yourself.
Well, I do investigate journalism
for the Daily Planet.
I'm actually supposed to be looking
for the Distortionist right now.
You don't say.
But don't worry, I'll find him.
Nothing gets past me!
[screams] What?
What? No! No!
[howls] No!
To let Crushrush know you, you have to know yourself.
Like I know me.
Today, I'll show you Earth's rich culture.
We'll start with the Metropolis Contemporary,
followed by the history museum--
Lois Lane, what is that?
Oh, that's a mall.
There's nothing cultural about that.
[cash register dings]
Ah, you were right, Lois Lane.
Earth's culture is so rich.
[Silver Banshee] Let's go! Move it!
[clicks]
[scanning]
[thuds]
[Silver Banshee] Kyle!
[thuds]
Albert!
-[citizens yelling in fear] -[man] Run!
[woman] Let's get out of here!
Hand it over, thief!
Look what you did to my
[loudly] friends!
[breathing heavily]
You're gonna regret that.
-[yells] -[gasps]
I think we all need to calm down.
I think you need to get out of my way.
So...
I'm a wolf now.
I did have a feeling something was up, but...
I didn't wanna run the vibes!
I don't know if anything can turn this day around.
[producer whispering indistinctly]
Oh, they can fix me?
That's great.
[both grunting]
So you're protecting criminals now.
[beeping]
Kinda busy, Jimmy. Is this an emergency?
[Jimmy] Not anymore,
but something happened at W.O.R.M.S.
Thief! Stop it right there!
Uh, Jimmy, I'm going to have to call you back.
-[grunts] -[thuds]
Siobhan.
-Get out of my-- -Siobhan. I really think--
Siobhan.
-Get out of my-- -Siobhan. Siobhan.
-You're in my way! -Please.
And you're in possession of stolen property.
[rumbling]
[Superman grunts]
Still protecting criminals after what she did.
[beeping]
[Jimmy on call] Hey, free now?
Because I changed today.
Like, I really changed.
I didn't recognize myself.
And my date Gigi--
Jimmy, if it's not an emergency,
it really has to wait.
[Jimmy on call] But I really feel like...
[crashes]
-Jimmy? -[Jimmy on call] Ugh, fine.
Everyone stop!
Siobhan, the tech, please.
-And? -[scoffs]
-Fine. -Thank you.
You see, Hank?
Nobody needs to get hurt.
I disagree.
[charging]
[device blasting]
[man] What's that thing? What's he gonna do?
[Wilson] Stand down, Henshaw.
Boss wants a word with you.
Hey, Kara, come listen to this.
I listened to Black Canary for the first time
-when I was a kid. -[music playing on headphones]
The instruments sounds so angry.
I love it.
You want to hear what I'm listening to, Lois Lane?
Maybe it will be your new favorite.
Oh, it's okay. I already have a favorite song.
Ah, is it Earth culture to only like music
you found as a child?
[scoffs] No.
I just already have music I like.
I don't need to find anything new.
-[music playing on tape] -But, Lois Lane,
there's so much that is new.
♪ Earth is so big ♪
♪ The future is grand ♪
♪ So many human musicians ♪
♪ Could become Your "favorite band" ♪
♪ I've got a "favorite band" ♪
♪ You're the new girl in town ♪
♪ Let's just focus on you ♪
♪ I've got my life Locked down ♪
♪ But look at these clothes ♪
♪ A look for every day ♪
♪ In the sunshine Snow or rain ♪
♪ Whatever comes our way ♪
♪ Do you think it will rain? ♪
♪ Will it soak all my stuff? ♪
♪ I've got one big, dumb coat ♪
♪ What if that's not enough? ♪
♪ But the future is open ♪
♪ The present was fine ♪
♪ Tomorrow is coming ♪
♪ Do not be left behind ♪
♪ By the future ♪
♪ And look, you can pick ♪
♪ What you want Your life to be ♪
♪ A castle or space ♪
♪ Or a house in a tree ♪
♪ I can't risk any change ♪
♪ There's just too much To lose ♪
♪ Maybe give me more time ♪
♪ And then later, I'll choose ♪
♪ 'Cause the future Is daunting ♪
♪ Soon, the present is past ♪
♪ Tomorrow is pulling me ♪
♪ Far too fast ♪
♪ To the future ♪
Whoa!
♪ Then make a small change ♪
♪ A tiny, little thing ♪
♪ Why not just buy One of these pretty rings? ♪
♪ I know that it's coming ♪
♪ And I want one, I do ♪
♪ I'm not scared of the ring, I'm just... ♪
[speaking fast] scared of the fact to accept one
implies that you're ready for a particular type of future.
And while settling down in some ways sounds nice,
it also means consciously deciding
to enter your next chapter,
and I'm still reading this chapter.
I mean, I like this chapter.
♪ You know, Kara? ♪
♪ There is so much ahead ♪
♪ A frightening endeavor ♪
♪ A whole world to see ♪
♪ Why can't right now Be forever? ♪
♪ The future is limitless ♪
♪ My present was great ♪
♪ Tomorrow is coming and... ♪
-♪ I cannot wait ♪ -♪ Can't we just wait? ♪
♪ For the future ♪
[newscaster] ...the ensuing mayhem
revealed Henshaw to be some kind of Cyborg Superman
capable of unbelievable acts of--
[turns off screen]
They are scared of you, Hank.
They have no reason to be.
I'm a hero.
Heroes shows restraint.
With the public against you,
we'll never be able to replace Superman.
Eh, who cares what the masses think?
We have the power.
-I can do what I want. -[sword swishes]
That's close enough, Henshaw.
Is it?
[Wilson grunts]
[grunts]
[Wilson grunting]
[Wilson grunts]
[electricity crackling]
"We have the power"?
No, Hank,
I have the power.
And I can take yours away anytime I want.
[grunting] No.
[Zazzala] Mr. Olsen, we are so sorry.
I hope this won't taint your experience at
W.O.R.M.S., W.O.R.M.S., W.O.R.M.S.
or your online review. [chuckles nervously]
Oh, my sweet human body.
Anything else we can do?
No, I've had a lovely, ti--
[screams]
Oh, no.
I'm not our, uh, chief biologist,
but, I'll try to fix
whatever is wrong with you endoskeleton and uh--
[Jimmy continues screaming]
Tazzy!
You've come back?
I'm so glad you're havin' a moment,
but I am human spaghetti here!
[Clark] Look who I met on the boat, Lois? [chuckles]
Welcome home, Bark Kent. [chuckles]
Or Snowy? No, no, no.
Uh, oh, I got it. I got it.
-How about Krypt-- -[call connects]
Clark, I'm elastic now,
and Tazzala--
-[electrical buzzing] -[screams]
-[pants] -[blows]
[breathing heavily]
Oh, never mind.
She restored my endoskeleton.
Still, I could use some help.
Jimmy, I'm always happy to help in emergencies.
Keyword, emergency.
-[groans] -[door opens]
[Gigi] Jimmy Olsen!
If I can't have you, nobody can.
[can clinks]
-[bones cracking] -[grunts]
[hesitates] G... Gigi?
[Gigi chuckles]
No. My friends call me Gigi.
[straining] You can call me...
Giganta!
Okay, Giganta!
We can still be friends.
I didn't come here to make friends.
I came here to fall in love!
[thuds loudly]
[Jimmy screaming]
-Jimmy? -[ground rumbling]
[dog barking]
Yeah! I'd say it's an emergency.
[Lois] I mean, I love now. Now is good.
But is it all downhill from here?
Is the future a slow, painful, inevitable decline?
Earth's men are fascinated by me, Lois Lane.
I will certainly beat Jimmy.
Look, this potential mate is displaying a fish he caught.
And this potential mate
is also displaying a fish he caught.
-And this-- -They're all gonna have fish.
[Jimmy] Help!
-[screaming] -[ground rumbling]
Lois Lane,
I do not think I can find a date that big.
Well, that's not what winning looks like.
[Jimmy screaming indistinctly]
[Giganta] Let's try this one more time.
I'll make you gigantic, too.
Then if you really hate it, we'll call it quits.
Wait, how are you gonna make me gigantic?
[gasps] Wait.
You're the Distortionist?
I'm not really into labels.
[Jimmy screaming]
[Giganta grunting]
[Superman] Uh, I-I can't get to you, Jimmy.
Oh, you better try.
I-I can't stop her without hurting you.
[Zazzala] Good news!
You can save me?
No!
We got back together!
Well, congratulations!
We are so sorry for everything, especially the endoskeleton.
I'm sorry, what endoskeleton?
Oh, they made my bones dissolve,
turned me into a rag doll.
I called you about this.
Were you not listening?
[Jimmy screaming]
Wait, wait, wait.
Could you two affect her endoskeleton?
We'd do anything for love.
[Superman] Great, then follow me.
[Giganta grunting, screams]
-[clicks] -[grunts]
So this is how you treat someone...
of...
my stature.
So gentle...
So kind.
Ma'am, I'm gonna stop you right there.
I'm in a committed relationship.
[Giganta snoring]
Phew, thanks, Superman.
I tell ya! Maybe I should get off the apps!
-[grunts] -[body thuds]
Don't lose your faith in scientific romance, James.
If you stay,
we'll give you a paid sponsorship from W.O.R.M.S.
-[woman moaning] W.O.R.M.S. -And I'm back on.
How about you, Mr. Superman?
Huh? Oh. My appearance here is not an endorsement.
Hm...
[sighs in content]
[Clark] There they are!
How was the day?
Excellent, Kal-El.
Seventy-five potential mates have written to me,
each one saying, "Sup?"
Clark,
can I ask you something?
What is it, Lois?
I don't that I'm ready for all this.
What do you mean?
The farm, kids, dog.
Is that not what you want?
I do want that.
But...
I'm scared to lose what we have right now.
Adventure, freedom, fun.
I just don't want our lives
to shrink to the size of a model farm.
Oh.
I hadn't thought about that, I--
[Kara] I'm the winner here.
-You just need to admit it. -[Jimmy] Mine looked great--
[Kara] How many matches did you get, Jimmy?
[Jimmy] One,
but she was as tall as 100.
You know what?
I never made you breakfast.
And how are you gonna make it up to me?
Let's get brunch tomorrow.
Just the two of us and we'll find our future.
Together.
[ominous music playing]
Hurry!
We don't have much time.
[ground rumbling]
[blasting]
Go!
But I can help!
[screeching]
The only way you can help us now
is by making sure this never happens.
Go!
No!
[closing theme music playing]