Hit me again, Nat.
[Nat] Hey there, fella. My eyes are up here.
- [sighing] - [Nat] Bottoms up.
How's that soup there, boss?
It's probably cold. [sighs]
Well, at least the oyster crackers are still shipshape.
So, is the wife dying?
- [sighs] What? Pfft. - Or-- Or did she pass away already?
Is that what you're over here drinking at?
I'm just after some peace and quiet.
Well, that's good news about the wife. [chuckles]
[chuckles] Family. Man's top treasure.
Your house didn't burn down, did it?
[sighs] Look, mister, I got enough problems of my own.
I don't need you coming in here and making up more for me, okay?
Wait, wait, I got it. It just hit me. You're just a good man.
You worked hard your whole life to give this family the life that they deserve,
and it adds up to you're drowning in debt.
And all the latest-greatest, useless junk. And your ulcer and hemorrhoids.
Of course, not heartburn, like you guzzled jet fuel and lit a cigar,
makes laying down to sleep every night a torture.
But who needs sleep?
When they gave your job of 30 years to some floating tin can
- and your dignity along with it, right? - [sighs]
So, it's no surprise, no shame.
But you're over here daydreaming the getaway of a lifetime,
straight down, right off the nearest bridge.
I'll tell you, the fact that you haven't slugged me yet,
it means that you've got enough hope left in you
to hear the one word that is gonna save your life.
[clicks tongue] You get hit a lot?
Well, every time I'm wrong. But it's been a while. [chuckles]
[chuckles]
You left out the part I got a daughter
who don't pick up the phone when I call. [sighs]
You got a magic word that fixes that one?
First, I just wanna show you something, okay?
What's that?
That is from the Sea of Serenity.
It's 243,000 miles above us, on the bright side of the moon.
My son picked that out for me. That's-- That's my prized possession.
[sighs] Wow.
Ah, well, there you go. You said it yourself.
- What? - "Wow."
That's the one word none of us can live without.
And I will promise you this, hand on heart,
hundreds of happy folks to vouch. You'll be saying,
"Wow, I love living on the moon."
- That's another thing I can't afford. - Where'd you see a price tag?
I'm not stupid, mister.
No. No, you're just so beat down,
you see something you like, you think it's out of reach.
[Nat] Hey there, fella. My eyes are up here.
- Is this the one here with the pool? Or-- - That's the same model that I'm in.
I'll tell you what, it's big enough that you can invite the mother-in-law
and not see her for days. [chuckles]
[chuckles] You have that?
Yep. Me and my family, right there in the C-Plex.
Wow.
Why don't I, uh, take it home? I'll give it a think.
Oh, right. Right, the pros and cons.
Exactly.
You know who does pros and cons? Hunks of metal like her.
[chuckles]
Which is why she'll never fall in love or drive too fast or have kids
or do any of the crazy things that make life worth the price.
And it's why she's stuck in the same day, every day.
While fools like me and you,
we get to dream on a better tomorrow.
- Ah, shit. You're smiling. - [chuckles]
- You know that? - Jesus Christ. This is nuts. [chuckles]
How's it feel to be back among the living? This time, don't let it slip away.
- What's that? - That's just what we said.
Zero down, 150 a month, and it's yours for a scribble.
Hey. You wake up tomorrow, you don't like it, we rip it right up.
But, you know what? There is a catch, though.
You've got to promise me that you're gonna call your daughter.
And you tell her life is too short and you love her.
And her room is ready
whenever she wants to fly up and spend some time with Dad.
[mouthing words] Okay.
Morning, friend.
[stork] Hello, neighbor.
[baby cries]
Have a bright, smiling day.
[barking]
All right, honey. I'll see you tonight.
Bye, sweetie.
[kisses]
Hi, there. I'm out delivering smiles.
Such a nice bird.
Here's my next stop.
[vehicle beeping]
- [beeping stops] - [bell chimes]
[dog barks]
- [electronic tone] - Oops. After you.
[thudding]
Hi, there. I'm out delivering smiles.
No one here is not a dreamer, am I right?
Not in a world like this, where you can have it all.
[chuckling]
And that's what I want for you and your families.
You wake up to the earthrise... [chuckles] ...out your bedroom window.
Your wife out on her lunar garden.
Your boy shagging flies on the zero-G diamond.
That's the dream you all deserve. I mean, come on.
Why should the rich and the famous get our moon all to themselves? No, sir.
The Brightside,
that's a place for real people to start fresh, unwind, retire.
Not to mention, you own an asset your kids will be grateful for.
So, please, take a minute. Just a minute.
And sit down with our top-notch sales associates.
And start living your brighter tomorrow, today. [chuckles]
[chuckles] All right. Thanks for listening. Thank you.
Warm room, Jack. Nice work.
I'm gonna have cramping from all the closing shakes in here.
I think I may have enjoyed your speech the most of anyone.
[Jack] Good. Okay.
Ed, you take the new parents up front.
Remind them life is still fun sometimes.
Oh, easy money. God, how babies adore me.
Herb, you take Granny and Gramps. Golf, golf, and no taxes.
Got it, got it, and got it.
No excuses for not cleaning up in here.
I can close in here with multiple seeping cold sores, okay?
And I'm going to have an excellent sales performance.
- I think I just said that. - [Jack] Hey, guys.
Remember, we're not just selling.
- We're changing lives. - [both] Changing lives.
- Got it. Got it. - Done.
[chuckles] Oh, you see that gentleman over there and his daughter?
They're ready to go. Take care of him, okay?
Upgrades, perks, everything we got.
Oh, usually I run those by HQ.
Oh, Shirl, we're gonna make them so much goddamn money tonight,
we can afford to be good people.
[BellBot] Mr. Jack Billings, please. Mr. Jack Billings, please.
- Damn it. - What?
It's, uh, from the moon. Stan Jenkins.
He wants us pushing through to Vistaville tomorrow.
- Well, he's an idiot. - [sighs]
There's good money here, and that's an all-night drive.
Easy, Shirl. He did build this company from scratch.
And now he's sitting on the moon
thinking he knows our turf better than we do.
- Yeah, so maybe he's an idiot too. - Mm-hmm.
But don't the folks of Vistaville
deserve to live their dreams like everybody else?
- [clicks tongue] - [chuckles]
[CleanzAll Bot whirring]
[beeping]
[radio announcer] Whizzing out to second. Leaving fliers flying in all six zones.
[Shirley] I've been thinking about what you said, Ed.
About moving up there. The moon might be nice.
Yeah, not for your husband.
So everybody gets what they deserve.
- No. Yeah? Really? - Mm-hmm.
Yeah? Well then, here I come, Vistaville, 'cause my baby and me... [kisses]
- ...are going to the moon. Really? - [laughing]
You ever worked Vistaville? Just any tips from past experience.
Yeah. Yeah, but it was, uh-- It was forever ago.
You sound almost worried, Jack.
[chuckles]
[radio announcer] Seven up, and what a whiz that is.
Boy, I thought that was it.
- Yes. Come on, come on, come on. - [scoffs]
What's this fun time about to cost you?
A medium amount, Shirley. We never assume defeat. Come on.
[radio announcer] And the throw's in, and he's out.
- No, he's not! - [radio announcer] No zone!
Oh, you cross-eyed half-wit limp-noodle bums!
[Shirley] Was that your big plan to get us up there?
I got some family there, is all.
That's great. I mean, family is a top source of inspiration.
- [Jack] Mmm. - And motivation.
Like, I think I told you my Betty is expecting.
[inhales deeply] Twins. Which they say is two and a half times the cost.
I keep telling her, I've been working with Brightside two months now.
- Well, nine weeks, almost. - [Jack] Yeah, we're here, Herb.
Oh. Of course. Perfect.
[chuckles] Yeah. Why don't you head in? I got a stop to make.
Whatever it is, I'd love to help.
Ah, you just start ringing those doorbells and fill the seats for me.
Which I can do. Of course. You know?
[clicks tongue] Got it. Thanks.
[sighs]
[ValetBot] Good morning, guest. Can I help with your bags?
[BingoBot] You win again.
- Oh, Ma. - Jacky. Come, come.
Your note said you were dying. Come on.
Well, you wish it were true.
- No, no, no, no. - One of these days it will be,
and you'll regret every minute you left me alone in this gulag.
It's been a busy couple of months for me.
I'm with a new outfit, Regional Manager. I think I told you.
Doesn't matter, Jacky. Nothing matters anymore.
It's all too sad in too many ways.
I know, I know. But whatever it is, we always get through it, right?
Not this time.
[inhales deeply] It's Marie, Jack. Your Marie.
She's in the hospital.
Run down outside her house by one of those vans with the goddamn bird.
And poor Joey.
Your baby boy's mother in a coma. How can anyone stand it?
Yeah. Yeah, I know. I know.
You know what?
[stammers] I don't know-- I don't know.
He's, you know-- He's almost 20 now. [chuckles]
[stammering] He wouldn't even recognize me.
Don't try to fool me, Jack.
I can tell, you're heartbroken.
Ma, she hasn't been my Marie for 18 years.
And, sure, we all wish it worked out better.
But I think everybody has moved on except for you.
It's not too late. Go see them.
They don't need me screwing things up for them
more than they already are.
What a wiz you are,
for talking yourself out of every hard part of life!
I'm here, aren't I? [snorts, groans]
[sniffles]
[sighs] Hey, how is the new room working out?
This garden view is nice, huh?
You were the same with your father.
You know, I got people to meet. Gotta go.
Oh, don't leave yet, Jacky. Five more minutes.
Mmm. Love you, Ma. Next time, okay?
Go see them! Your boy needs you.
[television presenter] Three, two, one, blastoff.
To a new beginning beyond the stars.
Luna, mother of dreams.
First, she was Earth's most critical mining resource,
then the play-place of the upper crust.
But now, thanks to visionary entrepreneur Mr. Stanley Jenkins
and the Brightside Corporation,
she is host to the moon-based community all of us deserve.
Our collection of fully-furnished
and value-priced units fit the family budget.
Good morning, son. Big sales conference tonight. [chuckles]
[television presenter] Home is where the happiness is, not the headaches.
Where you're free and easy to be your best.
To live, love, and laugh,
and leave the strains and stresses of yesterday's world behind.
So join Buck Manzell,
star of television's Space Sheriff,
and the rest of our exclusive club of daring pioneers and happy families.
And start living your brighter tomorrow, today.
Jacky, boy! You read me?
Still caught up in that goddamn terrestrial rat race? [laughs]
[laughs] Loud and clear, Buck!
That's the fellow from Space Sheriff, Leann. That's him!
Imagine he came by for a cup of sugar.
Ah. Then let me tell these good folks. True as Texas toast,
ain't nothing but ice teas and real-deal living up here.
- Mm-hmm. No neckties, tax men. - [chuckling]
No mosquitoes or traffic jams.
So, who's the goddamn genius now, Jack?
Well, you said it, Buck. Thanks for calling in.
Oh, and don't none of you forget, ain't no law in the stars but me.
- Pa-ha! Hoo-ha! - [Jack laughs]
[signal zaps]
[Jack] Well, you heard it straight from Buck, so, I won't, uh,
waste your good time telling you twice.
But, when I think of the Brightside, my wife out in our lunar garden
and my boy shagging flies on our zero-G... [sniffs] ...diamond...
My-- [grunts]
My beautiful family...
[Jack clears throat]
You know what? Explain this to me.
We live with miracles at our fingertips.
We fly to the stars, we split atoms. We got robots taking out the trash.
Why... [breathes deeply]
...are we all still waiting to live our dreams?
[stammers] It-- [grunts]
Well, there's a technical term, uh, for that in my business.
That's called a shit deal.
Our best days are piling up in the rearview,
and-- and that hope that keeps us going,
it's wearing down to the bone. [sniffles]
Some of us are losing people we love.
And just like that...
[Jack snaps fingers]
...any day now, that turns into too late.
Gone forever.
Because every day that we're not living for now...
right now, we're waiting around dying.
One empty promise at a time.
I'm not waiting around anymore, goddamn it.
And neither should you.
The time is now...
and regret's a killer worse than death.
[sighs]
- [scattered applause] - [audience members murmuring]
[murmuring continues]
There's still a lot they haven't heard about yet.
Uh, can we agree that hopelessness is not a top-seller?
Tha-- Thanks for coming out, folks.
[doorbell rings]
[sighs]
Congratulations, Joey, on your new home in the stars.
Oh, th-- thanks, Herb.
Uh, you know, to be honest,
this is actually coming at a pretty great time.
And that speech... [chuckles]
...you know, I felt like he was talking right to me.
Uh, any-- anyway, uh, thanks again.
[clicks pen]
You look like a man who likes his personal space.
Um... [chuckles] ...have a look at Kepler Crater.
Big lots, very quiet, beautiful views.
What about all them aliens?
Well, uh, not to put too fine a point on it,
but, um, there's no such thing.
Yeah, says you.
[Eddie stammers]
You don't know me, but I know you.
And we both know the same other person.
And he said you've been losing too many bets to stay healthy.
Well, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What do you think I'm doing here? Besides getting that person their money.
Come on, here, okay? Here.
C-Come back in the morning, I will definitely have more, okay?
[debt collector] Hmm.
- [whispering] Okay? - [debt collector sighs]
- [bones crunch] - [Eddie grunting]
[bell dings]
[NurseBot] Nurse Grayton to the holographic operating theater, please.
[machines whirring, hissing]
[sighs]
[Joey] Mr. Billings?
[Jack stammers]
I bought a D-Plex today, at the sales conference.
A-All thanks to you. [stammers] Joey Shorter.
Oh, hey, kid. Nice to meet you. I think I-- I must be on the wrong floor.
Oh, yeah. I mean, this-- this floor has got the pretty tough cases.
Oh. Is that your m-mom in there?
Yeah.
- Very sorry, kid. - It's okay.
[Jack sighs]
- Well, wish I knew what to say. - Well, what you said this morning
really made all the difference in the world, Mr. Billings. You know?
I haven't let myself look forward to anything,
uh, since all this happened.
Well, that means the world to hear you say that, kid. Uh...
- Can I tell you something, Joey? - Sure.
[breathes deeply]
I'm gonna upgrade you to a, uh--
- a nicer unit, on me. - [Joey chuckles]
That way, if your-- your dad or your girlfriend
- wants to come up and visit... - [chuckles] That's-- That's amazing.
[stammers] I-- I mean, I-- I don't, uh, really have a girlfriend or a dad, but...
Well, hey, you-- you're doing great without them.
And y-your mom is a real lucky lady to have you.
Thanks, mister.
"Congratulations. A fantastic new world awaits you.
Welcome to the Brightside Lunar Residences..."
Another round of the good stuff.
Anybody tells you that the flush mechanism on the men's urinal
is an accident-free device is a liar and a liability, okay?
You mean the thing you just push down?
Oh, that's very funny, Shirley. I may never shake your hand again.
Then it's good you didn't have any sales to close today.
Oh, Herb.
You know, somehow your closing one is sadder than my zero.
Technically, i-it's better.
Yeah, shut up, Herb-- See, this is the true tragedy
of Jack fucking us and leaving us to die in a ditch.
I-It sets brother against brother.
Don't blame Jack you got beat up by a urinal,
if you're really sticking with that story.
Oh, urinal all the way, Shirley. And why stop at Jack?
It's every boss who ever shat the bed and made his loyal troops lie in it.
Like Stan freaking Jenkins up there on the goddamn moon.
Thanks a lot, Stan. He doesn't even know we exist down here,
let alone sweat and bleed and need money,
and get unjustly fucking crippled.
If Jack is really gone, do we still have a job?
We have until someone says we don't.
'Cause I'll probably need to inform Betty if I'm, uh, unemployed.
All right, nobody get more hysterical. Jack's coming back.
I will give you five-to-fucking-one on that.
There would have to be a really good reason
for Jack to just leave us to die alone in a ditch.
And while he did look pretty upset,
he definitely would have told us if he actually was,
because our team is like our family, except at work.
So, probably everything is just fine. [breathes deeply]
- Thanks a lot, Herb. I feel a lot better. - Good.
[doorbell rings]
Yeah, come in.
[door opens]
[BellBot] Here to make your stay more pleasant.
[Jack clicks pen]
Wait.
[BellBot whirs]
[BellBot whirs, beeps]
[BellBot] Have a wonderful evening.
[BellBot whirs]
[door closes]
[sighs]
[breathes deeply]
[ValetBot] Hello, guest. May I help you with your transportation?
- [Joey] Mr. Billings? - [Jack sighs]
- M-Mr. Billings! - Hey, morning, kid. Sorry, I can't chat.
Hey. Yeah, I hate to trouble you,
but I think there's been a mix-up with my application.
See, I-- I got this this morning from the moon.
[pants] I guess I must have gotten rejected or something.
Ah. Yeah. These--
It's the damn finance guys, they're not even half-human.
Do you think I could talk to them? They gave me back too much money.
Don't waste your breath. You're gonna find a great way to use it.
Right, but I don't want it back.
I got nothing for me down here.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, kid. [stammers] Uh... [sighs]
Your problems will be waiting for you up there too.
Y-You don't know that.
I do. Better than anyone.
[sighs] I like to see my customers happy, not playing themselves for a fool. Okay?
So you canceled my sale then, huh?
You know, you're--
You talked a big game about me grabbing hold of my life,
but then you know my life better than me, right?
You're full of shit, mister. [sighs]
That was nice, kid. That's nicely done.
Oh, screw you.
The one thing I had to look forward to...
Well, you know, there are other things.
You're a great kid, you're, uh, not afraid to stick up for yourself.
Not too bad at thinking on your feet either.
- That's the makings of something. - Oh, yeah, wow, thanks.
Well, I know what I just saw. And I'd start you at 10%.
It's not curing diseases or stopping wars,
but sometimes, giving folks a new dream to dream
can make all the difference. And you'd be good at it.
I could teach you a few things along the way.
Are you lying to me again?
[groans, sighs] Sorry about that, kid.
Here's an honest deal.
You come work for me,
and pretty soon you'll have so much going on for you down here,
you'll forget all about running away to the moon.
[sighs]
I-- I don't have any...
nice clothes.
[chuckles] Well, we better get you a suit then.
All right, hop in.
Here we go. We got lives to change. [chuckles]
[HoverSedan powers up]
- Is that-- - Yeah. Joey.
Gonna shape up into quite a young man.
Oh, wow, Jack.
He's beautiful. The both of you.
Well, thanks for kicking my ass about it. He needed somebody.
This is better than a dream.
Love you, Ma.
- [Buck] Moon river, wider than a mile ♪ - Whoo!
- I'm crossing you in style ♪ - The voice of the law!
Hope I'm not in trouble.
Ha! [laughs] Whoo!
[both laugh]
I'm loving life, Jack. Living on the Brightside, thanks to you!
Oh, thank you, Buck.
You know it means the world to see our customers happy.
Oh, Lord, Jack.
Don't tell me you've been out there without your suit and helmet.
No need to worry. They got a bubble, covers this whole place,
keeps us safe and sound.
Right. Right. [laughs]
[stammering, laughing] I forget sometimes, but y'all thought of everything.
Well, couldn't have done any of it without you.
- Mmm. - I'm gonna head back down
to Earth now, okay?
All right, don't you think of leaving
without paying your respects to Mr. Jenkins.
[chuckles] I'd never.
Well, I'll see you around, Sheriff. The galaxy is in your hands.
- Pa-jow! [laughing] - [laughing]
[blows]
Moon River, wider than a mile ♪
I'm crossing you in style some day ♪
Guys! Hey, hey. Hey, hey. We got Joey Shorter here.
Eddie, Herb. Joey Shorter, Shirley Stedman.
[continues speaking indistinctly]
The Sea of Serenity.