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[Upbeat music playing]
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[Sighs]
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{\an8}[Takes deep breath]
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[Mike] You're being ridiculous.
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[Mondo] What's ridiculous
is your narrow view of the world.
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Hurry up and get some food
before your uncles eat it all.
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All right, ma.
I just gotta go to the bathroom.
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Hey, what's up, primo?
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What? Uncle Rollie.
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- Oh, come on.
- [Rollie] Too slow.
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What are you talking about too slow?
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- I was here first.
- [Rollie] Too fast then.
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- Too fast?
- [Mike] You can't wisdom your way
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out of this one.
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Primo. Perfect.
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How tall can a person be
before you think he's dumb?
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- What?
- If you're looking at a person,
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let's say it's a guy,
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how tall can that guy be
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- before you think he's dumb?
- You've got it backward.
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The taller a person is,
the smarter they are.
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The brain has already expended
all of its energy on making you tall
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and now it can work on other things.
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When things get more advanced,
they do not get bigger,
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they get smaller.
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Computers, cameras, phones.
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Kareem Abdul-jabbar,
Abe Lincoln, queen latifah.
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- Are there any eggs left?
- No.
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Awesome.
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Hey, what happened
with that girl you like?
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Hey, whose advice did you take?
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Well, I had a lot of really good options.
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The way you connect with someone
is through communal crying.
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The two of you stare
into each other's eyes and cry together.
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No words, just tears.
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[Rollie] Primo, forget all that.
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See, what you wanna do
is find someone she hates, right,
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then punch him in the mouth
right in front of her.
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Prove that you can protect her.
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- That's not terrible.
- It isn't?
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No, but it's more about
proving how strong you are.
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Find a reason to pick her up.
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Just right off the ground,
like the Stanley cup.
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I think that's where they get
the term trophy wife.
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I think I'm gonna go about it my own way.
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Just be super weird in front of her
and never do anything?
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- Correct.
- Nice. Good job.
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What are you watching?
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It's a supercut of all the cocaine scenes
from wolf of wall street.
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It ends up being the whole movie.
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I thought ma said
no Wolf of wall street Before 8:00 A.M.?
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Wolves don't follow rules.
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- Turn it off, Ryan.
- You got it.
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Primo, sit down. Let me ask you something.
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How many of your teachers
would you say are...
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Satisfied with their
current banking situations?
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Why would I know that, uncle Ryan?
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All right. Do me a favor.
Leave these on your teachers' desks
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and tell them that I will personally
take care of them.
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Did you staple these?
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You got a better way to attach
business cards to apples?
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Tape.
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Damn it.
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I made 40 business apples.
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Ernesto is sick.
We're a man short
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and I got four irrigation systems
to install.
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Which one of you all
is coming with me today?
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- Not me.
- [Rollie] No, no, no, no.
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Take them all.
Get everybody out of my house.
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Rafa, breakfast.
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Okay. I'm leaving. Bye.
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All right. Too slow for real this time.
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- Are you kidding me?
- [Jay] Let's go, guys.
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We don't have all day.
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- Guys, you heard him.
- [Jay] You, what are you waiting for?
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And, you, put some shoes on.
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- And you know what? Let's get some...
- And why are you wearing a fleece?
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- Boots on top of [indistinct]
- It's like a hundred degrees outside.
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I got a job. But you know that already.
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[Man] Why are you telling me [indistinct]
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[Overlapping chatter]
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[Dramatic music playing]
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[Rafa] Before you start, Mr. Flores,
can I just say that
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whatever you think that I did,
I didn't do it.
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And if I did do it, then I didn't mean to.
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And if I did mean to,
then I didn't know that it was wrong.
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Also, are you happy
with your current banking situation?
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I have a business apple.
Just careful of the staple.
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Mr. Gonzalez... where do you think
you might wanna go to college?
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- I'm sorry?
- College.
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Surely, you've thought about it.
I know I have.
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You haven't gone to college yet?
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I meant for you.
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There's a college prep program here
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that helps our juniors and seniors
prepare for the admission process.
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Oh. Yeah, I don't think that's for me.
I'm probably not right for college.
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What does that mean?
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I mean, college is for kids
who do boat sports.
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[Gernesto] Do you know what that is?
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No, but it's definitely good news.
There's a lot of green here.
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If you get a thing from a teacher
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and it has a green on it,
it's usually good.
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Red is almost always bad.
Red cards in soccer,
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the-the buzzer in Family feud,
Red wedding in Game of thrones.
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sorry. I'm kind of nervous.
You talk now.
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Those are the results
from the standardized tests
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you and your classmates took
at the end of sophomore year.
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You scored in the 93rd percentile.
You scored higher than 93%
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of all the other sophomores
in the state of Texas.
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You're telling me you're not right
for college.
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I'm telling you
you're exactly right for college.
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Here's an application.
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I think you should apply to the program.
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Oh, no. What does blue mean?
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[Harris] Yo, you're a genius.
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[rafa] It's not a big deal.
It's just one test.
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but now the guidance counselor
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wants me to apply
to this college prep program.
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Did you all know anything about that?
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I honestly didn't even know
we had a guidance counselor,
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so, no, I did not know about
the college prep program.
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I've been in a college prep program
since I was born.
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Both my parents went to Howard.
Their parents went to Howard.
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So guess where I'm going?
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I'm sorry. Who's Howard?
I wasn't really listening.
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I'm trying to figure out
if I could rock a bucket hat?
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College. We're talking about college.
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I don't need college.
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I'm gonna inherit my parents' store
and be the Filipino godfather.
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See? That sounds good.
I need a plan like that.
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You know, I could work for my uncle Jay,
maybe become the irrigation scarface.
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Oh, is that what you wanna do?
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Oh, I have no idea what I wanna do.
I thought that was obvious.
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[Chuckles]
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You all give me a minute.
I'MMA say what's up to my mom?
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All right.
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- [Andrea] Looks better if you had red...
- Hey, ma.
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Oh, get out of here. Go.
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Oh, hi. Hi.
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Who's that? Do I know him?
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Uh, he works at the tire shop?
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- What's in the box?
- Oh, this?
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This is a beautiful, handmade,
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one-of-a-kind
none of your goddamn business.
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Oh, is, is that our new neighbor, Mya?
Bring her in so I can meet her.
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No, no, I can't. I gotta go.
We'll be at Harris' house though, okay?
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- Bye.
- I need you home by 7:00.
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What? No, no, no, no, no.
I was hoping I could hang out at Harris'.
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I was hoping I could be home by 7:00.
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Perfect.
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[Dramatic music playing]
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- Mike, here. This is your job.
- [Mike] Hmm.
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Write, "congratulations, rafa"
on the cake.
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- What's the other bag for?
- Oh, hell, yeah.
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Cake icing.
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- It's gonna turn your teeth blue.
- [Bottles clink]
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Okay. I need to talk to you guys
about something.
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Rafa's guidance counselor called me
a few weeks ago
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and said that rafa scored really high
on some test
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and he thinks rafa has a good chance
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of getting into college
after he graduates.
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Rafa hasn't said anything to me
about it yet
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but I know that he met with him today.
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College is a scam.
He should be working.
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He's 16 now. He'll be 17
by the end of the school year.
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Soon he'll be 18.
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Hey, Jay's right.
That is how numbers work.
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If he starts working for me now,
he'll be ready to run his own crew
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by the time he graduates high school.
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What if he doesn't wanna dig holes
for a living?
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Maybe he wants to work in finance like me.
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You're a bank teller.
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You son of a bitch. [Chuckles]
If you would've read the apple,
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you would've known
that I am an account manager now.
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- I read the apple.
- Thank you.
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Okay.
This is exactly what I'm talking about.
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I don't need you all in his ear about this
like you are about everything else.
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So, nobody says a word to him about it.
Not a word. Leave him be.
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00:08:04,810 --> 00:08:08,070
Jay, after rafa turns 18,
what age does he turn next?
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[Dog barking]
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Well, thanks for walking me home.
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I still don't really know my way
around here
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and there's a lot of stray dogs
in this neighborhood.
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No, of course. It's no problem.
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- But honestly, if any of the dogs come...
- Mm-hmm.
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- You're on your own.
- [Chuckles] Whatever.
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00:08:23,850 --> 00:08:26,040
Hey, you still applying
to that college thing?
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00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,300
Part of me wants to.
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No one in my family has ever been
to like a real college before.
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My mom would freak.
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- She'd be so happy.
- [Chuckles]
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00:08:36,740 --> 00:08:39,250
But who knows
what all my uncles would say?
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00:08:39,450 --> 00:08:41,580
All your uncles? How many uncles you got?
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00:08:41,780 --> 00:08:43,090
- Five.
- Oh.
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00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:45,960
It feels like 50 most of the time though.
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My dad left when I was little,
so they're always around
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00:08:49,250 --> 00:08:51,050
and they're super protective
of my mom and me.
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00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:52,510
Yeah. What's that like?
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00:08:52,710 --> 00:08:55,180
Mostly it's like being
inside a cloud of bees...
200
00:08:55,380 --> 00:08:56,950
- Mm-hmm.
- Except the bees are always
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00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:59,270
like cussing and punching at each other.
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00:08:59,470 --> 00:09:00,870
[Chuckles] Okay.
203
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:04,110
Uh, you wanna come
and wait at the front porch?
204
00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:05,870
I'll go inside and get
those history notes for you.
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00:09:05,890 --> 00:09:06,920
Yeah. Sure.
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00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:16,240
[All] Surprise!
207
00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:19,510
Mya, you're here? Come in.
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00:09:21,350 --> 00:09:23,420
Does that sign say you're a junior?
209
00:09:23,620 --> 00:09:26,170
Yeah. It's just what my mom does.
210
00:09:26,370 --> 00:09:29,800
Any time I do a thing that she's proud of,
she throws me a party.
211
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,030
[Dramatic music playing]
212
00:09:40,030 --> 00:09:42,980
I'm an only child.
It's kind of embarrassing.
213
00:09:43,180 --> 00:09:47,980
I don't know. It seems really nice.
I won the 1600 at a track meet last year
214
00:09:48,180 --> 00:09:50,320
and my father just said,
"you performed adequately."
215
00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:54,030
It's so nice to meet you, Mya.
I'm Andrea, rafa's mom.
216
00:09:54,230 --> 00:09:55,950
- Welcome to the neighborhood.
- Thank you.
217
00:09:56,150 --> 00:09:57,800
Okay. Everybody, gather around.
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00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,580
First of all, we just wanna say
how proud we are of you, rafa.
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00:10:01,780 --> 00:10:04,040
I cannot believe that you're a junior.
220
00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:06,590
- [Cheers and applause]
- [Andrea] My baby!
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00:10:06,790 --> 00:10:08,340
This is for you.
222
00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:10,420
- What's this?
- It's a present.
223
00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:12,590
I knew that. I was asking what's inside?
224
00:10:12,790 --> 00:10:14,300
Do you not know how presents work?
225
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:16,300
- Right.
- [Laughter]
226
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:17,890
- Okay.
- [Andrea] Okay. Open it!
227
00:10:18,090 --> 00:10:19,350
- Yes. Come on.
- [All] Open it!
228
00:10:19,550 --> 00:10:21,770
Open it! Open it!
229
00:10:21,970 --> 00:10:23,520
Open it! Open it!
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00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,270
[Cheering]
231
00:10:25,470 --> 00:10:27,190
- [Andrea] Okay. Try it on.
- What?
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00:10:27,390 --> 00:10:29,420
[Chuckles]
233
00:10:31,750 --> 00:10:32,820
Oh, thanks.
234
00:10:33,020 --> 00:10:35,570
I just figured that you
might need something nice
235
00:10:35,770 --> 00:10:38,450
for, you know, future occasions.
236
00:10:38,650 --> 00:10:39,760
Like court.
237
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:45,810
Um...
238
00:10:46,350 --> 00:10:49,040
i actually have an announcement
to make too.
239
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:51,090
I met with my guidance counselor today
240
00:10:51,290 --> 00:10:53,350
and he thinks that I have a shot
at going to college.
241
00:10:53,370 --> 00:10:54,570
- What?
- [Cheers and applause]
242
00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:55,970
My boy.
243
00:10:56,170 --> 00:10:58,140
That's-that's great, baby.
244
00:10:58,340 --> 00:11:00,220
College is a scam. Don't be stupid.
245
00:11:00,420 --> 00:11:02,060
- Not the time, Jay.
- No, he's right.
246
00:11:02,260 --> 00:11:05,450
It's just four years of expensive nonsense
where the system tells you how to think.
247
00:11:05,470 --> 00:11:08,270
Education is not stupid.
Plus, the military will pay for it.
248
00:11:08,470 --> 00:11:10,040
He's not going into the military, dummy.
249
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,120
Are you gonna take that from him, Mike?
250
00:11:11,140 --> 00:11:12,740
- Kick his ass.
- Okay. That's enough.
251
00:11:12,930 --> 00:11:15,700
He should be working.
Contributing to the family. Helping drea.
252
00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:17,870
Higher education is the key to success.
253
00:11:18,060 --> 00:11:20,020
I make the most money
out of anyone in this family
254
00:11:20,190 --> 00:11:21,450
because I got a degree.
255
00:11:21,650 --> 00:11:24,090
You took one class at a technical school
and you got a certificate.
256
00:11:24,110 --> 00:11:25,750
And you made $800 more than me last year.
257
00:11:25,950 --> 00:11:27,920
And is that more or is that less?
258
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:29,130
Kick his ass, Ryan.
259
00:11:29,330 --> 00:11:31,420
He doesn't need a university
to be educated.
260
00:11:31,620 --> 00:11:33,670
The universe is a university.
261
00:11:33,870 --> 00:11:36,300
- You're homeless. Shut up.
- My home is the planet earth,
262
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:38,300
and mother nature doesn't charge me rent
263
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:40,470
nor does Jay whose shed
I've been sleeping in.
264
00:11:40,670 --> 00:11:42,390
God damn it, mondo, stay out of my shed.
265
00:11:42,590 --> 00:11:44,240
Hey, well, someone better
kick someone's ass.
266
00:11:44,260 --> 00:11:47,450
[Overlapping chatter]
267
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,540
Just relax. And you? Stay out of my shed.
268
00:11:53,540 --> 00:11:55,610
Oh, I get it. Cloud of bees.
269
00:11:55,810 --> 00:11:57,630
- [Overlapping chatter continues]
- Hmm.
270
00:12:20,150 --> 00:12:21,360
[Mouse clicking]
271
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:42,160
[Andrea] When I said
don't say a word about college,
272
00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:46,790
did I need to define what a word is
for your little t-Rex brains?
273
00:12:46,990 --> 00:12:48,250
Listen to me.
274
00:12:48,450 --> 00:12:50,710
We are gonna fill this house with joy
or I swear to god
275
00:12:50,910 --> 00:12:53,960
I will slit all of your throats.
276
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,800
[Gasps] Denise. Hey, girl.
277
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,930
Man, what's got her all worked up?
278
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:01,390
Us.
279
00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:03,400
Oh. Right.
280
00:13:05,110 --> 00:13:08,480
You spelled it wrong.
There's an apostrophe in congratulations.
281
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:12,160
- No, there's not.
- Yes, there is before the s. Like this.
282
00:13:12,910 --> 00:13:14,150
[Mike] That's definitely wrong.
283
00:13:14,180 --> 00:13:16,110
They don't do spelling
at "universe university"?
284
00:13:16,310 --> 00:13:18,540
Ryan, who's right, me or Mike?
285
00:13:19,170 --> 00:13:22,280
{\an8}Huh. Well, I know the answer
because I got a degree.
286
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,170
- Certificate.
- But I will not tell you the answer
287
00:13:24,190 --> 00:13:25,580
- because you're a dick.
- Hmm.
288
00:13:25,780 --> 00:13:28,260
If it were me, I would just pay
for the bakery to ice the cake,
289
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:31,370
because I can afford these things,
'cause I got a job,
290
00:13:31,570 --> 00:13:33,170
- because I got a degree.
- Certificate.
291
00:13:33,370 --> 00:13:34,590
- Rollie.
- Yo.
292
00:13:34,780 --> 00:13:36,420
Come here. Is this right?
293
00:13:36,620 --> 00:13:37,420
It's ugly.
294
00:13:37,620 --> 00:13:40,590
So if you meant for it to be ugly,
then, yeah, it's right.
295
00:13:40,790 --> 00:13:42,130
Hey, good job.
296
00:13:42,330 --> 00:13:44,720
Apostrophe shows ownership
or combines words.
297
00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:46,760
Mm-hmm. Right.
298
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:51,100
And this is primo's cake,
so he owns it, so it needs an apostrophe.
299
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:53,860
You know what? Good idea. Here.
Let's put apostrophes everywhere.
300
00:13:53,890 --> 00:13:56,150
- Look. Ra...
- [Mondo] No, Mike. Don't be crazy.
301
00:13:56,350 --> 00:13:57,670
No, Mike. Stop it. Stop it, Mike.
302
00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:59,660
- You're being crazy. Mike. Come on, Mike.
- No, no, no.
303
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:01,210
- You want apostrophe.
- Don't be crazy, Mike.
304
00:14:01,230 --> 00:14:02,250
- Come on.
- I'll give you apostrophe.
305
00:14:02,270 --> 00:14:03,330
- Apostrophe. Apostrophe.
- [Andrea] Hey.
306
00:14:03,350 --> 00:14:05,620
- One for Ryan. One for you.
- [Andrea] Hey.
307
00:14:05,820 --> 00:14:07,340
Did you finish the cake?
308
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,550
Yes.
309
00:14:12,430 --> 00:14:14,580
There you go. Cake time, everybody.
310
00:14:14,780 --> 00:14:16,460
- Hey, ma.
- [Andrea] Yeah?
311
00:14:16,660 --> 00:14:17,930
- Don't get mad but...
- [Andrea] Uh-hmm.
312
00:14:17,950 --> 00:14:20,270
I was getting on the computer
and your bank account page was up
313
00:14:20,290 --> 00:14:21,310
and I saw that you only have...
314
00:14:21,330 --> 00:14:23,690
Oh, no, no. Don't worry about that.
I have it under control.
315
00:14:23,790 --> 00:14:27,890
What do you mean don't worry about it?
Ma, you only have $52 in your account.
316
00:14:28,090 --> 00:14:30,490
You're throwing me a party.
You just bought me this new coat.
317
00:14:30,550 --> 00:14:33,350
Rafa, you have small eyes.
You can't see the whole picture yet.
318
00:14:33,550 --> 00:14:35,650
Why are you talking
like the oracle from The matrix?
319
00:14:35,850 --> 00:14:37,020
this is serious.
320
00:14:37,220 --> 00:14:41,320
College costs money that you don't have.
That we don't have.
321
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:43,530
Rafa, relax.
322
00:14:43,730 --> 00:14:45,800
All of this has been in the works
for a long time.
323
00:14:46,590 --> 00:14:49,030
Last month, Carlos,
Who you saw at the store earlier,
324
00:14:49,230 --> 00:14:51,250
kept talking about how he had a rash
On his foot.
325
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:53,550
so, you know, Gloria,
The receptionist at the clinic,
326
00:14:53,570 --> 00:14:56,290
she traded me some samples
Of the foot medicine for some bus passes,
327
00:14:56,450 --> 00:14:59,310
because I know she rides the bus,
Because it stops in front of the store
328
00:14:59,330 --> 00:15:00,770
and I see her getting on it each morning.
329
00:15:00,790 --> 00:15:01,960
how did you get bus passes?
330
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:04,470
[Andrea] I always hear Sammy,
The bus driver, complaining
331
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:06,350
about having to eat a cold lunch every day
332
00:15:06,540 --> 00:15:08,940
because his break isn't long enough
To find some place to eat.
333
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:12,140
so, I made him a hot plate
Every day for a week
334
00:15:12,340 --> 00:15:13,810
and he slipped me some bus passes.
335
00:15:14,010 --> 00:15:17,270
so, food for Sammy,
bus passes for Gloria,
336
00:15:17,470 --> 00:15:21,070
foot medicine for Carlos,
and he has a booth at the flea market
337
00:15:21,270 --> 00:15:23,320
where he sells clothes
and he gave me the coat
338
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:24,710
for free.
339
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:28,240
So, if Carlos didn't have
some gross foot fungus,
340
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,450
I wouldn't have this new coat?
341
00:15:30,650 --> 00:15:34,000
One man's rash is another man's treasure.
342
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,480
Okay. Well, I mean,
what about all the food at this party?
343
00:15:36,610 --> 00:15:38,430
What messed-up skin condition
bought us those ribs?
344
00:15:38,450 --> 00:15:40,340
Oh, that is a good one. Okay.
345
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:42,940
So like, three months ago,
There was this lady up the street
346
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,440
who was having trouble with her car.
347
00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:46,550
i could tell by the sound,
It was her alternator.
348
00:15:46,750 --> 00:15:50,720
stop, stop, stop. This is too much, ma.
Our life is like a jenga tower.
349
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:54,140
We make one tiny wrong move
and it all comes tumbling down.
350
00:15:54,340 --> 00:15:57,190
Do not worry about any of that, okay?
That's my job.
351
00:15:57,390 --> 00:16:00,460
Your job is to be 16 and
figure out what you want.
352
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,540
Big eyes.
353
00:16:04,670 --> 00:16:05,940
Okay.
354
00:16:06,140 --> 00:16:07,990
Mm. I love you. Eat some cake.
355
00:16:08,190 --> 00:16:10,800
[Indistinct chatter]
356
00:16:29,190 --> 00:16:30,650
[Dramatic music playing]
357
00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:34,220
What's up, uncle Jay? You got a minute?
358
00:16:34,420 --> 00:16:35,420
Yeah, but not much more.
359
00:16:35,590 --> 00:16:37,480
I got Rollie, Mike,
and mondo working today.
360
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:39,940
We're running late
because Rollie hit Mike with a shovel.
361
00:16:40,140 --> 00:16:41,140
Why?
362
00:16:41,220 --> 00:16:44,020
Because earlier Mike hit Rollie
with a shovel. What's up?
363
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:47,940
Well, you keep saying that I should start
coming to work with you more hours.
364
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:52,510
Is that offer still available?
I think I need a steady job.
365
00:16:57,260 --> 00:16:58,300
[Phone rings]
366
00:16:59,850 --> 00:17:01,880
- [Ryan] You've got, Ryan.
- I know, stupid.
367
00:17:02,070 --> 00:17:03,590
Rafa is here with me right now.
368
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:06,270
I want you to hear the conversation
him and I are about to have
369
00:17:06,290 --> 00:17:07,770
so that you can know that I beat you.
370
00:17:07,910 --> 00:17:09,600
- [Ryan] What are you talking about?
- Go ahead, rafa.
371
00:17:09,620 --> 00:17:11,220
Uh, hi, uncle Ryan.
372
00:17:11,420 --> 00:17:13,940
I was just telling uncle Jay
I think I'm ready to start working.
373
00:17:14,090 --> 00:17:15,850
Jay, Rollie hit me in the head
with a shovel.
374
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:16,970
Hey, he's lying.
375
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,490
- Hey, primo, what are you doing here?
- Good. You're all here,
376
00:17:19,510 --> 00:17:21,520
so now you can all hear
what rafa was about to say.
377
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:24,240
Uncle Jay, I kind of just wanted
to talk to you like one on one.
378
00:17:24,350 --> 00:17:25,830
Well, this is better than one on one.
379
00:17:25,890 --> 00:17:28,280
- It's a full uncle meeting.
- [Rafa] I don't want that.
380
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:32,660
I-I never want that.
I want the opposite of an uncle meeting.
381
00:17:32,860 --> 00:17:33,990
An aunt separation?
382
00:17:34,190 --> 00:17:35,630
Hey, that was pretty good.
383
00:17:36,630 --> 00:17:38,290
Hey, I'm sorry I hit you with a shovel.
384
00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:39,540
[Ryan] Hey, primo, listen.
385
00:17:39,740 --> 00:17:42,870
I'm sorry that I couldn't be there
For this great conversation,
386
00:17:43,070 --> 00:17:46,210
but I can't be there
Because I have a good job,
387
00:17:46,410 --> 00:17:48,840
- 'cause I have a higher degree.
- Certificate.
388
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:52,260
Primo, if the concern is money,
then you should know the military
389
00:17:52,460 --> 00:17:54,760
will pay for your schooling
if you serve four years.
390
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:56,840
- That's what I did.
- You didn't go to college.
391
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,890
But I could've and they would have paid.
392
00:17:59,090 --> 00:18:02,060
Hey, for the record, I don't really care
what primo decides.
393
00:18:02,260 --> 00:18:04,060
I just hate Ryan. What's up, Ryan?
394
00:18:04,260 --> 00:18:07,070
Actually, I hate all you guys.
I wish I had a giant shovel.
395
00:18:07,270 --> 00:18:11,570
College is just handcuffs for the mind,
and money's a disease.
396
00:18:11,770 --> 00:18:13,090
Great. I won't pay you for today.
397
00:18:13,270 --> 00:18:14,950
Fine. Then I'm moving out of your shed.
398
00:18:15,150 --> 00:18:17,950
- That's what I want.
- Can you please just stop?
399
00:18:18,150 --> 00:18:20,620
I came here to talk to uncle Jay
about working...
400
00:18:20,820 --> 00:18:23,220
- [Ryan] [Indistinct]
- But this, what's happening right now,
401
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:24,670
is what happens all of the time.
402
00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:27,880
You guys just come over the top
of everything, and it's chaos,
403
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:29,920
and none of you even listen
to what I'm saying.
404
00:18:29,950 --> 00:18:31,270
Hey, I listen. They don't listen.
405
00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:33,060
That's not true.
You don't listen to any of us.
406
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:36,030
[Overlapping chatter]
407
00:18:37,860 --> 00:18:39,530
[Andrea clears throat loudly]
408
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:42,950
What's going on, guys?
409
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,770
- Is that drea?
- Yeah.
410
00:18:45,970 --> 00:18:49,440
And like I was saying, we shouldn't
Be doing this without drea present...
411
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,690
good news.
Primo's decided he wants to...
412
00:18:51,890 --> 00:18:53,450
Shut up, Jay.
413
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:54,700
- Mike.
- Mm-hmm?
414
00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:56,070
[Andrea] Give me your keys.
415
00:18:56,270 --> 00:18:59,720
I'm gonna drive rafa home
and I'll see you all at dinner tonight.
416
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,210
Oh, that super calm, quiet voice.
417
00:19:07,410 --> 00:19:08,770
Hey, she's pissed.
418
00:19:09,770 --> 00:19:11,730
Hey, she might kick someone's ass though.
419
00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:17,050
- I don't understand why you're mad.
- [Scoffs]
420
00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:18,850
I didn't go to primo. He came to me
421
00:19:19,050 --> 00:19:20,650
and said he wants to work.
How is that bad?
422
00:19:20,670 --> 00:19:23,020
A decision that you pressed him to make.
423
00:19:23,220 --> 00:19:26,440
But don't you want him to go to college?
Why aren't you telling him that?
424
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,080
Why aren't you telling him anything?
425
00:19:28,220 --> 00:19:30,440
What I want is for you all
to leave him alone.
426
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:33,400
- Okay. I understand but...
- No buts, Ryan.
427
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,110
You guys have to understand
428
00:19:35,310 --> 00:19:38,240
that your influence on him
is meaningful, okay?
429
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,160
This is not like you teaching him
how to ride a bike.
430
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:43,250
He's not a kid anymore.
431
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,370
You could push him
toward making a decision
432
00:19:45,570 --> 00:19:47,920
that he will regret for a long time.
433
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:51,340
Now, I want him to go to college.
That's what I want.
434
00:19:51,540 --> 00:19:55,340
But whatever he chooses,
it's a decision that he needs to arrive at
435
00:19:55,540 --> 00:19:57,970
on his own or it's not going to work.
436
00:19:58,170 --> 00:20:01,600
That doesn't make sense.
If you want a thing, speak up.
437
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,310
It's like a restaurant.
438
00:20:03,510 --> 00:20:06,020
You don't just hope for the waiter
to bring you cheese sticks.
439
00:20:06,220 --> 00:20:07,310
You tell him.
440
00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:08,560
So, you're smart today?
441
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:10,480
I'm smart every day.
442
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,370
Your t-shirt's on backwards.
443
00:20:13,330 --> 00:20:14,500
Man.
444
00:20:16,630 --> 00:20:17,960
It's a v-neck.
445
00:20:19,090 --> 00:20:20,780
What is wrong with you?
446
00:20:20,980 --> 00:20:22,630
I thought it was from Europe.
447
00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:27,620
[Rollie] He's like a magician
with that cane, man.
448
00:20:27,820 --> 00:20:29,670
[Indistinct TV chatter]
449
00:20:29,870 --> 00:20:33,350
Hey, your mom took off for work already
but she left food for you on the table.
450
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,130
[Rafa] And then you ate it.
451
00:20:36,330 --> 00:20:37,340
I did eat the food, yes.
452
00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:38,970
Perfect.
453
00:20:39,170 --> 00:20:41,600
[Rollie] Hey, hold up, boy.
Hey, you forgot something.
454
00:20:41,790 --> 00:20:44,560
What? What did I forgot, uncle Rollie?
Do you want my lunch too?
455
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:46,280
Do you wanna hit me with a shovel?
456
00:20:49,580 --> 00:20:51,480
How'd you know I threw that away?
457
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,610
- Or even what it was?
- [Rollie] I didn't.
458
00:20:54,810 --> 00:20:57,360
I was looking for chicken wings
people might've tossed out,
459
00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:00,780
because most people when they eat wings,
only eat like half the meat.
460
00:21:00,980 --> 00:21:04,160
So, if you gather enough of them,
it's basically like a whole extra meal.
461
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:05,360
Gross.
462
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:09,220
Anyways, I found that paper.
Didn't know why you threw it away.
463
00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:11,520
What's going on, primo?
464
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,210
I don't know what to do.
465
00:21:15,410 --> 00:21:17,760
I have way too many opinions
coming at me at once.
466
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,970
It's like, you know,
do i... do I go to college?
467
00:21:20,170 --> 00:21:22,260
Do I start working?
Do I join the military?
468
00:21:22,460 --> 00:21:24,260
Do I join the military
and then go to college?
469
00:21:24,380 --> 00:21:27,220
And how does ma figure into any of it
because she has $50 to her name
470
00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:29,160
- so who's gonna take care of her?
- Hey, wait.
471
00:21:29,180 --> 00:21:30,890
Hold up. Hold up.
472
00:21:31,090 --> 00:21:33,690
You don't think you'd take
care of your mom, do you?
473
00:21:33,890 --> 00:21:35,860
I mean, she's been taking care of
all of us
474
00:21:36,060 --> 00:21:37,780
since she was like 12 years old.
475
00:21:37,980 --> 00:21:40,030
I mean, you saying
you'd take care of your mom
476
00:21:40,230 --> 00:21:42,780
is like saying a flower
takes care of the sun.
477
00:21:42,980 --> 00:21:45,700
And, second, boohoo.
478
00:21:45,900 --> 00:21:49,540
So, you've got six people in this house
who give a damn about what happens to you.
479
00:21:49,740 --> 00:21:50,850
That must suck.
480
00:21:52,270 --> 00:21:54,630
All right. Look,
I'm not gonna sit here and tell you
481
00:21:54,830 --> 00:21:57,250
that we're not gonna keep
shoving advice into your ear
482
00:21:57,450 --> 00:21:58,450
because we are.
483
00:21:59,230 --> 00:22:02,010
That's what we do.
We've been doing it since you were tiny
484
00:22:02,210 --> 00:22:04,840
and we're gonna keep doing it
till we're all dead.
485
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,030
Hey, but, ultimately, that's your call.
486
00:22:07,950 --> 00:22:09,930
And whatever you decide to do,
it'll be fine.
487
00:22:10,130 --> 00:22:12,770
And your mom will be fine too,
because besides her own toughness,
488
00:22:12,970 --> 00:22:15,120
hey, she's got us. Her brothers.
489
00:22:16,250 --> 00:22:18,440
Every single one of us
would do jail time for her.
490
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:19,940
Hell, I just did.
491
00:22:20,140 --> 00:22:22,610
You didn't serve jail time for her.
492
00:22:22,810 --> 00:22:25,070
You served jail time
'cause you jumped a dog track
493
00:22:25,270 --> 00:22:26,700
and tried to race the greyhounds.
494
00:22:26,900 --> 00:22:29,580
Let me tell you something.
Those skinny bitches are fast.
495
00:22:29,780 --> 00:22:31,330
I stand corrected.
496
00:22:31,530 --> 00:22:34,210
Hey, get out of here. I'm trying
to watch my show. Bug off.
497
00:22:34,410 --> 00:22:37,140
[Upbeat music playing]
498
00:22:41,310 --> 00:22:43,150
[Indistinct chatter]
499
00:22:50,820 --> 00:22:55,400
Okay, okay, okay, everyone.
Uh, I have an announcement to make.
500
00:22:55,590 --> 00:22:57,060
Didn't we do this already?
501
00:22:57,260 --> 00:22:59,440
I have decided
502
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:03,240
that I am going to apply
to that college prep program.
503
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,660
And I don't know
what happens after that just yet
504
00:23:05,860 --> 00:23:09,240
but I do know that this is the decision
I wanna make right now
505
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:12,050
and so... I'm making it.
506
00:23:13,390 --> 00:23:15,250
We're so proud of you, baby.
507
00:23:15,450 --> 00:23:17,790
Whatever your path is, man,
that's your path.
508
00:23:17,990 --> 00:23:19,130
That poem sucked.
509
00:23:19,330 --> 00:23:21,550
If this blows up in your face
and you need a job,
510
00:23:21,750 --> 00:23:22,880
I'll be here.
511
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,760
Primo, all that matters
is that you're happy.
512
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:29,350
- [Andrea] Mm-hmm.
- And that you basically chose my thing.
513
00:23:29,550 --> 00:23:32,810
Those are the two main takeaways
we should all be focusing as a family.
514
00:23:33,010 --> 00:23:34,560
Okay. Let's eat.
515
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:39,020
Actually, the point is that
I'm grateful for you guys.
516
00:23:39,220 --> 00:23:41,480
You are all looking out for me
517
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,320
and I'm sure I'm gonna to need
to lean on all of you all
518
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:48,240
at the appropriate times
for advice on different things.
519
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:49,800
Like when you're gonna ask Mya out?
520
00:23:49,820 --> 00:23:51,370
Who told you Mya is the girl I like?
521
00:23:51,570 --> 00:23:54,160
Our brains every time
we see you make Google eyes at her.
522
00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:56,580
Hold on. Did you just say Google eyes?
523
00:23:56,780 --> 00:23:59,630
Yeah. Google eyes.
That's why they call it Google.
524
00:23:59,830 --> 00:24:01,880
It's like your eyes
are searching for information.
525
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:03,920
No. It's goo-goo eyes.
526
00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:06,550
No, it's googly eyes.
527
00:24:06,750 --> 00:24:09,470
Gentleman, it's ghoul-y.
Like a ghoul,
528
00:24:09,670 --> 00:24:12,470
because you're so scared
of how much you like that person.
529
00:24:12,670 --> 00:24:15,230
That is the dumbest thing
I have ever heard anybody say.
530
00:24:15,420 --> 00:24:18,950
[Overlapping chatter]
531
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:40,680
No apostrophe. Mike was right.
532
00:24:44,020 --> 00:24:45,810
I wonder if there's any cake left.
533
00:24:49,190 --> 00:24:51,140
[Andrea] Next, on primo...
534
00:24:51,340 --> 00:24:55,560
listen up. It's that time of year.
The Gonzales family neighborhood barbecue.
535
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:57,310
You know how insane the barbecue gets.
536
00:24:57,510 --> 00:24:59,980
I need you to shield Mya and her family
from the worst of it.
537
00:25:00,180 --> 00:25:01,730
This year, I'm bringing my crossbow.
538
00:25:01,930 --> 00:25:03,310
It's cinnamon, bro.
539
00:25:03,510 --> 00:25:05,370
[Howling]
540
00:25:06,460 --> 00:25:08,070
[Sparks, crackles]
541
00:25:08,270 --> 00:25:10,670
Yeah, this is what I mean
when I say the worst of it.
542
00:25:13,420 --> 00:25:15,430
[Theme music playing]