1 00:01:23,999 --> 00:01:25,249 Okay, 2 00:01:25,416 --> 00:01:27,124 let's get this straight 3 00:01:27,249 --> 00:01:32,124 I don't want to hear another word of this Y2K nonsense 4 00:01:32,249 --> 00:01:35,082 Phones going dead, electricity cut-off, 5 00:01:35,207 --> 00:01:39,374 banks collapsing, or even planes falling out of the sky 6 00:01:40,082 --> 00:01:42,332 The end of the world is not coming! 7 00:01:46,332 --> 00:01:49,291 The numbers in our calendar will change, yes, 8 00:01:49,416 --> 00:01:51,249 all four at once, 9 00:01:51,416 --> 00:01:53,124 but they're only numbers! 10 00:01:53,249 --> 00:01:55,749 Mankind has been through this before 11 00:01:59,207 --> 00:02:00,749 At eight o'clock, 12 00:02:01,082 --> 00:02:05,082 a lot of very important people will dine at our tables 13 00:02:05,582 --> 00:02:07,749 The mood in which they leave in the morning 14 00:02:08,082 --> 00:02:10,749 will impact the lives of millions of ordinary people 15 00:02:11,082 --> 00:02:14,166 Our duty is to make sure that no one's ass gets sore 16 00:02:14,291 --> 00:02:16,582 from sitting on too hard a chair, 17 00:02:16,749 --> 00:02:20,166 that they all stuff themselves with caviar to their heart's content, 18 00:02:21,082 --> 00:02:25,249 that bubbles of champagne will gush from their noses and ears 19 00:02:25,416 --> 00:02:27,332 Is that clear? 20 00:02:29,707 --> 00:02:32,582 - Trying to make a point, Tonino? - No 21 00:02:36,082 --> 00:02:37,249 I mean, yes 22 00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:39,582 Couldn't agree more, boss 23 00:02:41,374 --> 00:02:45,582 I expect nothing more from you all than our usual... 24 00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:50,082 politeness, precision, and perfection 25 00:02:51,207 --> 00:02:55,666 Five, four, three, two, one... 26 00:02:59,624 --> 00:03:01,416 Twelve hours left 27 00:03:01,541 --> 00:03:04,707 Let's get to work everybody! Let's get to work! 28 00:03:29,999 --> 00:03:31,332 Too salty 29 00:03:31,457 --> 00:03:32,707 Pour it out! 30 00:03:33,082 --> 00:03:34,374 Pour it out! 31 00:05:17,166 --> 00:05:20,041 Slowly, slowly, be careful, be careful 32 00:05:20,166 --> 00:05:22,457 Push it back... 33 00:05:23,707 --> 00:05:27,249 Push it back more, this side 34 00:05:27,416 --> 00:05:30,416 Push this side back more, it's stuck 35 00:05:33,332 --> 00:05:34,416 Stop, stop, stop 36 00:05:34,582 --> 00:05:36,666 Step away, step away 37 00:05:52,416 --> 00:05:53,749 Wow. What a night 38 00:05:54,082 --> 00:05:56,082 What a night! 39 00:05:56,249 --> 00:05:58,124 May I help you, sir? 40 00:05:58,249 --> 00:06:01,416 - My room key - What would be the room number? 41 00:06:02,541 --> 00:06:05,374 I don't remember, look it up on your thing 42 00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:07,707 Faraday, Simon Faraday 43 00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:18,457 I'm sorry, sir, according to my files you're not staying with us 44 00:06:20,499 --> 00:06:25,416 Would you tell your files we've been staying at the Grand Bellevue 45 00:06:25,582 --> 00:06:29,041 at Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve, for 15 years! 46 00:06:29,166 --> 00:06:31,999 My compliments, then you should probably go there 47 00:06:33,582 --> 00:06:36,082 - Where? - The Grand Bellevue 48 00:06:36,249 --> 00:06:38,332 A short walk down the road 49 00:06:38,457 --> 00:06:40,374 Hasn't moved an inch since 1912 50 00:06:49,582 --> 00:06:50,999 Sir! 51 00:07:10,582 --> 00:07:11,624 Tonino! 52 00:07:14,249 --> 00:07:17,999 - Yes, sir? - Can't they see it's not centered? 53 00:07:27,416 --> 00:07:31,082 - I'll take care of it immediately, sir - It's not a chair you can move around 54 00:07:31,249 --> 00:07:32,666 - It's heavy - Sorry 55 00:07:32,999 --> 00:07:34,707 - Good morning, Mr. Minetti - Good morning 56 00:07:35,041 --> 00:07:36,291 - Slept well? - Like a baby 57 00:07:36,416 --> 00:07:38,999 Our boys will be happy to carry those to the ski room 58 00:07:39,124 --> 00:07:42,291 Oh, no! My Scott-Pros? No, thanks 59 00:07:42,416 --> 00:07:44,624 I've had these babies stolen from me once 60 00:07:44,749 --> 00:07:47,541 Not here, Mr. Minetti, we can take care of your babies 61 00:07:47,666 --> 00:07:50,666 Do you know how long it takes to import them from Idaho? 62 00:07:50,999 --> 00:07:52,749 I'd rather keep them under my bed 63 00:07:55,416 --> 00:07:56,749 Did you see him? 64 00:07:57,499 --> 00:07:59,249 - Bongo! - Bongo? 65 00:07:59,416 --> 00:08:01,124 Bongo! He's a big star 66 00:08:01,291 --> 00:08:05,124 - Really? What was he in? - He's done hundreds of movies 67 00:08:05,541 --> 00:08:08,166 "Sex Odyssey", "Sperminator”, 68 00:08:08,332 --> 00:08:11,332 "Pulp Friction"... The list is just endless 69 00:08:14,541 --> 00:08:17,416 Such a beast without a muzzle! 70 00:08:17,582 --> 00:08:19,082 I'm sorry, sir 71 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,624 C'mon, little boy 72 00:08:21,749 --> 00:08:23,207 Get up here now 73 00:08:26,291 --> 00:08:28,749 C'mon, Mr. Toby, shit! 74 00:08:30,082 --> 00:08:32,332 We don't have all day 75 00:08:36,666 --> 00:08:38,749 Is Bongo your real name? 76 00:08:40,749 --> 00:08:42,082 An artistic pseudonym 77 00:08:42,416 --> 00:08:43,624 I knew it 78 00:08:44,041 --> 00:08:47,082 - My mother told me all about you - Ashley, God! 79 00:08:47,249 --> 00:08:49,082 Good thing it wasn't your grandma 80 00:08:51,541 --> 00:08:52,749 Do you still work? 81 00:08:53,374 --> 00:08:55,041 In private 82 00:08:55,207 --> 00:08:57,749 - No more movies? - Ashley, come 83 00:08:58,124 --> 00:08:59,999 I'm retired now 84 00:09:04,374 --> 00:09:06,166 Hi, darling! 85 00:09:06,332 --> 00:09:07,624 How are you? 86 00:09:07,999 --> 00:09:10,249 My God, time stays still for you 87 00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:13,082 And you, getting younger every year 88 00:09:28,207 --> 00:09:29,291 Come on 89 00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:36,249 Seriozh, take everything to the suite 90 00:09:38,624 --> 00:09:42,416 - Let's go - Holy shit! Holy shit! 91 00:09:49,291 --> 00:09:51,999 What the hell is going on? 92 00:09:53,041 --> 00:09:54,166 All right 93 00:10:00,124 --> 00:10:02,249 - I asked for champagne - Hi 94 00:10:02,624 --> 00:10:06,416 How about a safe? Do you have a safe safe here? 95 00:10:06,624 --> 00:10:09,291 Absolutely, this way, follow me 96 00:10:10,749 --> 00:10:11,707 Please 97 00:10:15,999 --> 00:10:19,249 You want to fit a suitcase in one of these? 98 00:10:19,416 --> 00:10:22,749 You can put the content into several safes or... 99 00:10:23,082 --> 00:10:25,082 All of them? 100 00:10:25,249 --> 00:10:26,541 I'll get the manager 101 00:10:26,707 --> 00:10:30,332 What the hell do you mean you can't find my reservation? Are you a retard? 102 00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:32,541 It's that... 103 00:10:32,707 --> 00:10:34,582 Mr. Crush! 104 00:10:34,707 --> 00:10:38,749 So nice to see you back with us, what seems to be the problem? 105 00:10:39,124 --> 00:10:42,082 This imbecile is trying to convince me I don't have a reservation 106 00:10:42,249 --> 00:10:44,666 I am so sorry, there must be some sort of error 107 00:10:44,999 --> 00:10:48,416 - Maybe you forgot to reserve? - I don't make my own travel plans 108 00:10:48,541 --> 00:10:52,082 I have two competent assistants and they made them twice 109 00:10:52,457 --> 00:10:54,624 Once would be enough, if it got through to us 110 00:10:54,999 --> 00:10:57,291 You're telling me the people that work for me are lying? 111 00:10:57,416 --> 00:11:01,166 Certainly not, Mr. Crush, let me assure you, no need to worry 112 00:11:01,332 --> 00:11:04,499 - We'll do our best to find a solution - Find a solution? 113 00:11:05,124 --> 00:11:07,207 Sorry, but the Russians need a bigger safe 114 00:11:07,332 --> 00:11:10,249 - If you'll excuse me... - No, you're not going anywhere 115 00:11:10,374 --> 00:11:13,416 Get me into my suite first, then you do what you gotta do 116 00:11:13,582 --> 00:11:17,207 My colleague is already working on it and I'll be back right away 117 00:11:17,374 --> 00:11:19,499 This is un-fucking-believable! 118 00:11:19,624 --> 00:11:22,749 This whole place is turning to shit 119 00:11:23,082 --> 00:11:24,582 - Do you like chocolate? - What? 120 00:11:24,707 --> 00:11:26,124 - Chocolate - Chocolate? 121 00:11:26,291 --> 00:11:29,624 Good morning, my name is Hansueli Kopf, I'm the hotel manager 122 00:11:29,749 --> 00:11:30,749 I hear you need some help 123 00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:35,166 We have fragile luggage that we would like to place in a safe 124 00:11:36,207 --> 00:11:37,249 Yes 125 00:11:38,666 --> 00:11:41,332 During World War 11, the Swiss central bank 126 00:11:41,457 --> 00:11:43,666 stored its reserves here 127 00:12:01,082 --> 00:12:03,249 Perfectly secure as you can see 128 00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:06,166 ...See? 129 00:12:20,249 --> 00:12:22,416 We'll change the bulb right away 130 00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:26,291 - Nobody has been down here in a while - Don't bother, Mr. Kompf 131 00:12:26,416 --> 00:12:29,624 - Just give me the key - That's absolutely out of the question 132 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,207 - Why? - Because... 133 00:12:32,541 --> 00:12:35,416 - It's the hotel policy - Change the policy 134 00:12:45,541 --> 00:12:48,582 All I want to do is drink! 135 00:12:53,582 --> 00:12:55,291 214 136 00:12:56,291 --> 00:12:57,541 Girls... 137 00:12:57,666 --> 00:13:00,249 - 210 and 209 - Connected? 138 00:13:00,416 --> 00:13:01,374 As you requested 139 00:13:13,416 --> 00:13:15,416 The bodyguards' room is just opposite 140 00:13:15,541 --> 00:13:19,374 We put in two rollaways, I hope it won't be too cramped 141 00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:22,124 - Sorry for the inconvenience - Don't worry 142 00:13:22,249 --> 00:13:25,332 Why are you making faces? You can cuddle at night 143 00:13:30,082 --> 00:13:31,541 Thank you, sir 144 00:13:32,541 --> 00:13:36,499 Mr. Tell, just trust me, okay? I know this stuff inside out 145 00:13:37,999 --> 00:13:41,124 Y2K hits, no one's gonna have a clue 146 00:13:41,249 --> 00:13:43,999 Not for a long time, not for a very long time 147 00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,624 No, I don't think that's a very good idea 148 00:13:47,749 --> 00:13:52,041 Why won't we do this? Why don't we meet in my suite and... 149 00:13:52,166 --> 00:13:53,541 I'll walk you through the details 150 00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:56,166 - Twelve-thirty? - Sir, your room is ready 151 00:13:56,332 --> 00:13:57,249 - What's the number please? - 707 152 00:13:57,374 --> 00:13:58,416 Great 153 00:13:59,416 --> 00:14:02,416 Okay, twelve-thirty sharp 154 00:14:02,582 --> 00:14:04,624 All right, Mr. Tell, I'll see you then 155 00:14:04,749 --> 00:14:07,124 Suite 707 156 00:14:09,999 --> 00:14:11,541 Here's your room, sir 157 00:14:25,499 --> 00:14:30,082 - Get that asshole manager up here! - Yes, sir, right away, sir 158 00:14:41,541 --> 00:14:43,457 Leave that, leave that right there 159 00:14:50,166 --> 00:14:51,457 Get out 160 00:14:54,332 --> 00:14:56,249 Whoever draws the short stick 161 00:14:56,374 --> 00:14:58,249 sleeps on a cot 162 00:15:06,291 --> 00:15:08,416 Damn, I can't even fit on that 163 00:15:09,416 --> 00:15:10,707 Pick one 164 00:15:35,082 --> 00:15:36,624 Dear Russians, 165 00:15:37,582 --> 00:15:39,249 today, 166 00:15:39,374 --> 00:15:41,582 on the last day 167 00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:44,082 of the outgoing century, 168 00:15:44,207 --> 00:15:47,749 I am retiring 169 00:15:48,582 --> 00:15:50,749 I have made a decision 170 00:15:51,082 --> 00:15:54,416 Today, I am addressing you 171 00:15:54,582 --> 00:15:58,541 for the last time as Russian president 172 00:16:07,416 --> 00:16:09,166 Is your TV working? 173 00:16:09,707 --> 00:16:11,207 What the heck? 174 00:16:11,332 --> 00:16:12,582 May I turn it on? 175 00:16:12,707 --> 00:16:14,249 Help yourself 176 00:16:16,082 --> 00:16:18,582 Can't get porn in your room? 177 00:16:22,124 --> 00:16:26,124 In accordance with the constitution, 178 00:16:26,291 --> 00:16:27,666 as I'm retiring, 179 00:16:28,041 --> 00:16:31,041 I have signed a decree 180 00:16:31,707 --> 00:16:35,416 entrusting the duties of the president of Russia 181 00:16:35,541 --> 00:16:37,582 to Prime Minister 182 00:16:38,166 --> 00:16:41,582 Vladimir Vladimirovic Putin 183 00:16:42,374 --> 00:16:45,124 For the next three months 184 00:16:45,707 --> 00:16:48,999 he will be the head of state 185 00:17:00,082 --> 00:17:04,541 Are you out of your mind? Can you see me sleeping in this fucking broom closet? 186 00:17:04,707 --> 00:17:08,749 Or can you see me trying to take a piss in this dollhouse toilet of yours? 187 00:17:09,416 --> 00:17:13,082 I know Mr. Crush, this is the worst room in the hotel, I absolutely agree 188 00:17:13,207 --> 00:17:15,499 But we don't have anything else 189 00:17:15,624 --> 00:17:19,999 I'm here to offer you a complimentary bottle of champagne with our apologies 190 00:17:20,166 --> 00:17:22,416 Know what you can do with that champagne? 191 00:17:22,582 --> 00:17:24,416 Would you like some chocolates? 192 00:17:24,749 --> 00:17:26,291 Listen... 193 00:17:26,416 --> 00:17:29,749 I want you to listen, I want you to listen carefully 194 00:17:30,124 --> 00:17:33,166 I make one phone call, one phone call, 195 00:17:33,332 --> 00:17:36,582 before you change your shirt, and I'm gonna own your fucking hotel 196 00:17:38,207 --> 00:17:39,499 Anything else? 197 00:17:39,666 --> 00:17:42,582 Wait, woah, woah, I like that 198 00:17:42,749 --> 00:17:45,249 I like that a lot... You know what? I'll take it 199 00:17:45,416 --> 00:17:48,374 No, Mr. Crush, this suite is taken 200 00:17:48,499 --> 00:17:51,082 The guest is downstairs, signing autographs 201 00:18:16,499 --> 00:18:17,999 Get the fuck out of my room 202 00:18:42,291 --> 00:18:44,499 Has everybody in this hotel gone insane? 203 00:18:46,582 --> 00:18:49,666 Othmar! Are we serving penguin now? 204 00:18:49,999 --> 00:18:52,166 - Penguin? - Yes 205 00:18:59,541 --> 00:19:02,374 Maybe with a little garlic and tarragon 206 00:19:02,499 --> 00:19:05,582 we could sell it as shark fin 207 00:19:07,207 --> 00:19:10,082 No, Mr. Kopf, this came for... 208 00:19:10,332 --> 00:19:13,457 Arthur Duncan Dallas "III" 209 00:19:14,999 --> 00:19:16,624 Is not "III", it's "the Third" 210 00:19:18,332 --> 00:19:20,416 Arthur Duncan Dallas the Third 211 00:19:21,124 --> 00:19:23,249 To be delivered to his suite 212 00:19:23,499 --> 00:19:25,332 - To his suite? - Yes 213 00:19:29,749 --> 00:19:31,124 Tonino? 214 00:19:31,249 --> 00:19:32,374 Yes, boss? 215 00:19:32,499 --> 00:19:36,499 Do you know anything about a penguin for Dallas Duncan the Third? 216 00:19:37,332 --> 00:19:39,166 A stuffed penguin? 217 00:19:39,291 --> 00:19:41,499 No, live penguin! 218 00:19:43,332 --> 00:19:46,749 You wait here and you watch this thing 219 00:19:49,457 --> 00:19:52,082 Now we're babysitting a penguin 220 00:19:52,207 --> 00:19:54,416 These wealthy people... 221 00:19:56,124 --> 00:19:58,416 They'll lose everything at midnight 222 00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:03,666 Morning Arthur, here's your masterpiece, all typed up and looking good 223 00:20:04,707 --> 00:20:07,249 This must be a complete surprise 224 00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:11,582 All we need now is people to join in the chorus 225 00:20:12,374 --> 00:20:13,666 Come on in 226 00:20:13,999 --> 00:20:16,416 Hansueli! Perfect timing 227 00:20:16,582 --> 00:20:19,457 - Come on in, come on in - Good morning, Mr. Dallas... 228 00:20:19,582 --> 00:20:21,749 - I'm so sorry to... - I know things are insane today... 229 00:20:22,749 --> 00:20:27,374 I'm afraid I'll need to borrow some of your most talented personnel 230 00:20:27,541 --> 00:20:29,749 - I won't keep them long - Well, yes, but... 231 00:20:30,082 --> 00:20:32,416 - I'm here to talk about the penguin - He's here? 232 00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:35,666 Oh, great! He's key to this whole wedding anniversary 233 00:20:36,291 --> 00:20:40,124 You know, Mr. Dallas, we don't have much experience with wild animals 234 00:20:41,291 --> 00:20:43,499 He's the gentlest creature in heaven! 235 00:20:43,624 --> 00:20:46,374 He's the mascot of my marriage 236 00:20:46,541 --> 00:20:50,082 You see, one year ago today my wife and I 237 00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:52,457 were married at San Pietro di... 238 00:20:52,624 --> 00:20:53,749 - Positano - Positano 239 00:20:54,999 --> 00:20:57,416 A hotel as charming as your own 240 00:20:57,582 --> 00:20:59,582 They had a penguin 241 00:21:00,249 --> 00:21:03,082 It was most extraordinary thing 242 00:21:03,249 --> 00:21:08,541 And my wife would feed him out of her hand, every day at the table 243 00:21:08,666 --> 00:21:12,749 It became a symbol of our happiness 244 00:21:13,082 --> 00:21:16,541 - I'm beginning to understand - Well, I've written some words 245 00:21:16,666 --> 00:21:19,374 to the tune of "Happy Birthday" 246 00:21:19,541 --> 00:21:22,374 Can you get us some decent voices to sing this with us? 247 00:21:22,499 --> 00:21:24,541 - To the penguin? - To my wife 248 00:21:24,666 --> 00:21:26,082 Of course 249 00:21:26,249 --> 00:21:27,582 With pleasure 250 00:21:27,749 --> 00:21:31,707 - I'll take care of it immediately - Good, good, good 251 00:21:35,749 --> 00:21:38,249 An amazing paillette dress 252 00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:40,624 It's him! It's him! 253 00:21:42,374 --> 00:21:43,207 He's here! 254 00:21:43,707 --> 00:21:46,249 Good morning, Dr. Lima, caipirinha? 255 00:21:46,416 --> 00:21:48,999 Hello, Luigi, you know I'm hooked on your caipirinhas 256 00:21:49,166 --> 00:21:52,291 - It'll make the end of the world better - The end of the world? 257 00:21:52,457 --> 00:21:55,749 - Y2K! Doomsday! - You can't believe in this nonsense! 258 00:21:56,082 --> 00:21:59,041 Of course I do, I'm ready for anything 259 00:21:59,166 --> 00:22:01,541 I took all my savings out of the bank 260 00:22:01,666 --> 00:22:04,082 You don't understand, he's so important 261 00:22:04,249 --> 00:22:05,666 Dr. Lima! 262 00:22:05,999 --> 00:22:09,291 I don't want to disturb you, but I'm so happy to see you 263 00:22:10,082 --> 00:22:11,624 You remember me? 264 00:22:11,749 --> 00:22:14,499 Gloria, Gloria Robinson 265 00:22:14,624 --> 00:22:16,749 You did me a few years back 266 00:22:17,082 --> 00:22:19,207 Yes, yes, of course 267 00:22:19,332 --> 00:22:20,707 My lips 268 00:22:21,041 --> 00:22:22,707 Your mouth, of course 269 00:22:23,374 --> 00:22:25,749 And your nose, too, right? 270 00:22:27,207 --> 00:22:28,582 Just a touch 271 00:22:28,707 --> 00:22:30,582 "The Lima touch", they call it 272 00:22:30,707 --> 00:22:34,457 May I introduce my dear friend, Alice? 273 00:22:35,999 --> 00:22:38,416 I'm so happy to meet you, Dr. Lima 274 00:22:38,541 --> 00:22:41,499 I've been waiting so long for this opportunity 275 00:22:41,624 --> 00:22:44,124 What a golden opportunity! 276 00:22:44,249 --> 00:22:47,582 - It's a pleasure - Could you give Alice an appointment? 277 00:22:48,666 --> 00:22:50,499 Well, I'm actually on vacation 278 00:22:50,666 --> 00:22:54,749 - Please! - Alice has a problem with her breasts 279 00:22:55,082 --> 00:22:58,332 She had a procedure a little while ago, 280 00:22:58,457 --> 00:23:00,541 and they botched it 281 00:23:00,666 --> 00:23:01,457 Yeah 282 00:23:05,541 --> 00:23:07,541 What's the problem? 283 00:23:07,666 --> 00:23:09,541 Symmetry 284 00:23:18,749 --> 00:23:21,582 Are we even allowed to do this under union rules? 285 00:23:21,707 --> 00:23:25,082 Mr. Dallas is very rich, maybe we'll get a big tip 286 00:23:25,207 --> 00:23:28,207 You know why the rich are rich? Because they don't tip 287 00:23:45,582 --> 00:23:46,707 Puff! 288 00:23:48,291 --> 00:23:51,541 Puff, where are you? Puffball, your princess is awake 289 00:23:52,082 --> 00:23:55,249 To Magnolia from me 290 00:23:55,416 --> 00:23:58,332 Yes, it's from Dallas Three 291 00:23:59,207 --> 00:24:03,207 For our endless happiness 292 00:24:03,332 --> 00:24:07,082 blooms a Magnolia tree 293 00:24:07,207 --> 00:24:11,124 Happy bride and bridegroom 294 00:24:11,291 --> 00:24:14,207 Here in our humble room 295 00:24:14,374 --> 00:24:17,749 My most precious entity 296 00:24:18,749 --> 00:24:22,041 is my Magnolia bloom 297 00:24:22,499 --> 00:24:23,582 Yeah! 298 00:24:24,207 --> 00:24:25,582 My darling! 299 00:24:26,499 --> 00:24:29,249 Next year will be even better 300 00:24:34,082 --> 00:24:35,582 Oh, my God! 301 00:24:42,332 --> 00:24:44,374 Is he really for me? 302 00:24:44,541 --> 00:24:47,457 - He's all yours - What a cutie! 303 00:24:50,082 --> 00:24:51,416 Come here, baby 304 00:24:52,707 --> 00:24:54,207 Come on 305 00:24:55,666 --> 00:24:59,207 - Why won't he come out? - Pussy, pussy, pussy... 306 00:24:59,374 --> 00:25:00,541 Pussy, pussy? 307 00:25:03,082 --> 00:25:06,124 Does anyone know how to wrangle a penguin? 308 00:25:06,291 --> 00:25:08,499 I wouldn't touch that fucker with a beanpole 309 00:25:08,666 --> 00:25:11,624 - Maybe lure him with food? - He likes fish 310 00:25:13,582 --> 00:25:16,082 That one looks tasty 311 00:25:16,249 --> 00:25:18,582 Don't touch the fish! Please, don't touch the fish! 312 00:25:19,332 --> 00:25:23,124 - Call the room service - Order him some salmon 313 00:25:23,249 --> 00:25:24,999 Not smoked, fresh 314 00:25:51,082 --> 00:25:52,416 Precy! 315 00:25:53,082 --> 00:25:55,416 Come, quickly! 316 00:25:56,041 --> 00:25:57,749 - Madam? - Madam? 317 00:26:00,749 --> 00:26:02,541 Slap her 318 00:26:02,666 --> 00:26:04,249 You slap her 319 00:26:25,249 --> 00:26:27,749 What does she feed it to make it stink like that? 320 00:26:28,082 --> 00:26:29,124 Caviar 321 00:26:29,582 --> 00:26:31,582 She feeds her dog caviar 322 00:26:31,707 --> 00:26:33,332 It's not good for dogs? 323 00:26:33,457 --> 00:26:37,416 People in India are starving to death and she feeds her dog caviar! 324 00:26:37,541 --> 00:26:40,249 You don't understand, you can't 325 00:26:40,416 --> 00:26:43,332 You can't comprehend the pain of having a suffering dog 326 00:26:43,499 --> 00:26:45,249 You understand nothing 327 00:26:45,416 --> 00:26:47,249 Please, Marquise, calm down 328 00:26:47,416 --> 00:26:50,082 For Mr. Toby's sake, we'll find a solution 329 00:26:50,707 --> 00:26:54,374 I fear the worst, how soon can you get a veterinarian? 330 00:26:54,499 --> 00:26:58,041 That may not be so easy, Marquise, it's New Year's Eve 331 00:26:58,207 --> 00:26:59,707 Money is no object with love 332 00:27:04,624 --> 00:27:07,541 She's hysterical, something's wrong with that rat of hers 333 00:27:07,666 --> 00:27:10,249 I hate that dog, call the veterinarian 334 00:27:10,374 --> 00:27:13,416 I did, he's in Kenya on a safari 335 00:27:13,582 --> 00:27:16,124 - Then call the one in Hinterboden - He's in labor 336 00:27:16,249 --> 00:27:18,332 - He is in what? - A cow is in labor 337 00:27:18,457 --> 00:27:21,249 Difficult delivery, he's doing a C-section 338 00:27:21,374 --> 00:27:24,166 - So what am I to do? - You know how to deal with her 339 00:27:26,666 --> 00:27:30,624 He's had a problem doing his business in the snow since he was a baby 340 00:27:30,749 --> 00:27:32,416 - You know that - Yes 341 00:27:32,541 --> 00:27:36,082 - He can only do it on grass - Let me remind you 342 00:27:36,207 --> 00:27:37,707 we're in the Alps and it's winter 343 00:27:38,041 --> 00:27:40,416 Look, he's shaking all over 344 00:27:40,582 --> 00:27:44,416 A doctor should examine him immediately, every second counts 345 00:27:44,582 --> 00:27:46,749 - Yes, but unfortunately... - I know! 346 00:27:48,082 --> 00:27:49,624 Dr. Lima! 347 00:27:49,999 --> 00:27:52,082 But Dr. Lima is a plastic surgeon 348 00:27:52,249 --> 00:27:54,041 But he has a medical degree 349 00:27:54,207 --> 00:27:54,999 Yes, but... 350 00:27:55,124 --> 00:27:57,082 He adores dogs 351 00:27:57,207 --> 00:27:59,374 He has two Saint Bernards, he showed me pictures 352 00:27:59,541 --> 00:28:02,749 Yes, but he would certainly call a vet for his dogs 353 00:28:03,082 --> 00:28:06,499 Dr. Lima takes care of his wife so generously 354 00:28:06,624 --> 00:28:09,416 Alzheimer's in a family is a terrible tragedy 355 00:28:09,541 --> 00:28:13,082 - Yes, of course - I'm sure he will help Mr. Toby 356 00:28:18,332 --> 00:28:20,374 Please, connect me to Dr. Lima's room 357 00:28:25,291 --> 00:28:26,499 Hello? 358 00:28:26,624 --> 00:28:28,499 I need to speak to Dr. Lima 359 00:28:28,624 --> 00:28:31,416 Sorry, I don't know any Dr. Lima 360 00:28:35,332 --> 00:28:38,624 Sorry, I'm here, my wife is joking, of course 361 00:28:41,624 --> 00:28:43,249 Good morning, Marquise 362 00:28:45,707 --> 00:28:48,374 Not at all, happy to hear from you 363 00:28:55,416 --> 00:28:56,624 Forgive me, 364 00:28:56,749 --> 00:29:00,082 I've been exclusively treating humans 365 00:29:05,207 --> 00:29:08,416 No, I guess it won't hurt to have a look 366 00:29:29,082 --> 00:29:30,624 Dear Russians, 367 00:29:31,249 --> 00:29:33,124 dear fellow citizens, 368 00:29:34,082 --> 00:29:37,666 I have been asked to become the head of state 369 00:29:39,166 --> 00:29:41,249 There will be no interruption of power 370 00:29:41,374 --> 00:29:44,582 not even for a minute in this country 371 00:29:45,166 --> 00:29:48,582 Freedom of expression, freedom of speech, 372 00:29:48,707 --> 00:29:50,666 freedom of conscience... 373 00:29:51,041 --> 00:29:52,457 Yelstin was drunk 374 00:29:53,457 --> 00:29:56,999 He will wake up tomorrow and think he's still president 375 00:30:00,124 --> 00:30:01,249 The armed forces 376 00:30:06,291 --> 00:30:09,249 are working the same as before 377 00:30:10,374 --> 00:30:13,124 Our State is intact and will remain intact, 378 00:30:13,291 --> 00:30:17,374 and continues working for the safety of each citizen 379 00:30:17,582 --> 00:30:20,582 When deciding to step down... 380 00:30:26,416 --> 00:30:28,207 What is his problem exactly? 381 00:30:28,374 --> 00:30:29,499 He won't do it in the snow 382 00:30:30,291 --> 00:30:33,291 He made that painfully obvious to me 383 00:30:34,041 --> 00:30:35,332 He's never acted like this before 384 00:30:35,749 --> 00:30:39,291 I guess there's no other way to put it... 385 00:30:40,249 --> 00:30:42,166 He crapped on my bed, voila 386 00:30:42,624 --> 00:30:43,457 I see 387 00:30:43,624 --> 00:30:45,707 Does he sense something? 388 00:30:46,082 --> 00:30:47,416 What would he sense? 389 00:30:47,582 --> 00:30:49,082 Y2K... 390 00:30:49,249 --> 00:30:51,124 The end of the world, of course 391 00:30:51,541 --> 00:30:53,541 Animals have an instinct 392 00:30:53,707 --> 00:30:56,541 often stronger than ours, an insight 393 00:30:56,707 --> 00:30:58,416 Marquise... 394 00:30:58,541 --> 00:31:00,541 You can't really believe in this twaddle 395 00:31:00,707 --> 00:31:03,582 I feel we're on the edge of a precipice, 396 00:31:04,499 --> 00:31:06,999 with all my heart 397 00:31:11,249 --> 00:31:12,374 You see, 398 00:31:12,541 --> 00:31:14,207 Y2K, the end of the world, 399 00:31:15,041 --> 00:31:16,041 what else? 400 00:31:16,166 --> 00:31:17,749 I have to examine his stool 401 00:31:22,666 --> 00:31:25,082 What did you do with the excrement? 402 00:31:27,416 --> 00:31:29,499 - What? - From the Marquise 403 00:31:30,082 --> 00:31:32,082 - Laundry room - With the regular bedding? 404 00:31:32,249 --> 00:31:35,541 What were we supposed to do, put it in the dishwasher? 405 00:31:35,749 --> 00:31:37,749 Find it, right away 406 00:31:39,749 --> 00:31:44,207 Zula, really? No respect for the Marquise's poo! 407 00:31:57,999 --> 00:31:59,249 Found it! 408 00:32:03,082 --> 00:32:04,624 I feel like Cinderella 409 00:32:04,749 --> 00:32:07,999 Except we'll never go to the fucking ball 410 00:32:08,332 --> 00:32:09,624 At least not tonight 411 00:32:26,291 --> 00:32:28,082 Oh, my God! 412 00:32:30,541 --> 00:32:31,749 Thanks 413 00:32:38,291 --> 00:32:40,207 Will there be anything else? 414 00:32:41,124 --> 00:32:43,124 No, thanks so much, Mrs. Frautschi 415 00:32:43,291 --> 00:32:44,749 At your service, madam 416 00:33:38,332 --> 00:33:40,166 Madam, can I help you? 417 00:33:40,291 --> 00:33:42,749 Can I take your suitcase? I'll take this for you 418 00:33:52,666 --> 00:33:54,291 May I help you, sir? 419 00:33:54,416 --> 00:33:57,416 We travel here for Mr. Crush, to see him in this hotel 420 00:33:57,582 --> 00:34:01,707 - You have an appointment with Mr. Crush? - No, making surprise 421 00:34:03,082 --> 00:34:04,416 He is here, yes? 422 00:34:04,582 --> 00:34:08,999 Sorry, the hotel doesn't give out that kind of information regarding guests 423 00:34:10,582 --> 00:34:12,041 Would you like to leave a message? 424 00:34:12,374 --> 00:34:14,457 I am his son 425 00:34:16,249 --> 00:34:19,082 I will notify Mr. Crush of your arrival 426 00:34:21,749 --> 00:34:24,249 Welcome to the Hammam Experience! 427 00:34:24,374 --> 00:34:26,249 I'm Baba Paramahansa Ravi 428 00:34:26,416 --> 00:34:29,582 I will be taking care of you personally 429 00:34:29,749 --> 00:34:31,582 Please, follow me 430 00:34:32,749 --> 00:34:37,166 You will start with our famous foot ritual in the Infinity Room 431 00:34:37,332 --> 00:34:39,457 I'm ticklish, though, just so you know 432 00:34:49,666 --> 00:34:52,457 - There's no answer - There is no answer in his room 433 00:34:54,249 --> 00:34:57,166 - There is no answer in his room - Yeah? 434 00:34:58,082 --> 00:35:00,207 You can wait in the lobby, if you want 435 00:35:00,457 --> 00:35:02,082 - Lobby - Lobby 436 00:35:02,249 --> 00:35:03,249 Yeah, lobby 437 00:35:03,582 --> 00:35:06,249 Good morning and welcome to the Palace hotel 438 00:35:06,374 --> 00:35:10,582 Please, allow us to take care of your coats and the luggage 439 00:35:11,416 --> 00:35:12,457 Yes? 440 00:35:13,374 --> 00:35:16,332 So, my name is Hansueli Kopf and I'm the manager 441 00:35:22,207 --> 00:35:24,291 Why don't you have something to eat? 442 00:35:24,457 --> 00:35:26,749 On the house, smoked salmon, caviar... 443 00:35:27,082 --> 00:35:28,082 Some oysters perhaps? 444 00:35:29,166 --> 00:35:30,749 Something to eat? 445 00:35:31,416 --> 00:35:32,457 Soup? 446 00:35:32,624 --> 00:35:35,499 - Where are you arriving from? - Ceské Budejovice 447 00:35:36,416 --> 00:35:38,624 - Is it a long way? - Very long 448 00:35:38,749 --> 00:35:41,624 Changing trains, Vienna and Zurich... 449 00:35:42,999 --> 00:35:45,666 - You have soup? - Yes, a lot of soup 450 00:35:45,999 --> 00:35:48,041 Girls are cold 451 00:35:48,207 --> 00:35:50,291 I'll bring some broth to warm them up 452 00:35:50,582 --> 00:35:52,707 Put some dumplings in 453 00:36:03,291 --> 00:36:05,624 What's your diagnosis, Dr. Lima?? 454 00:36:06,666 --> 00:36:09,582 I beg you, be absolutely honest, I'm ready for anything 455 00:36:09,749 --> 00:36:11,374 I'm not a veterinarian, 456 00:36:11,499 --> 00:36:14,416 but I'm certain Mr. Toby has worms 457 00:36:17,082 --> 00:36:19,249 - Is that bad? - Don't worry 458 00:36:19,416 --> 00:36:22,582 It's common among dogs, mine had them too 459 00:36:22,707 --> 00:36:26,041 I will prescribe medicine for the parasites 460 00:36:26,416 --> 00:36:28,207 to give Mr. Toby right away 461 00:36:28,332 --> 00:36:31,082 - But he's not going to die? - Of course not 462 00:36:31,207 --> 00:36:32,624 Thank God! 463 00:36:32,999 --> 00:36:35,124 However, there's a little problem 464 00:36:35,999 --> 00:36:37,624 I'm afraid you may share... 465 00:36:38,249 --> 00:36:39,541 this affliction 466 00:36:40,749 --> 00:36:42,291 I have worms? 467 00:36:42,457 --> 00:36:43,749 Maybe, yes 468 00:36:44,457 --> 00:36:45,582 Worms inside my body? 469 00:36:45,749 --> 00:36:48,707 I'll be sure when I've seen... 470 00:36:49,041 --> 00:36:51,249 your stool sample 471 00:36:51,624 --> 00:36:52,749 My what? 472 00:36:53,124 --> 00:36:55,082 Your stool 473 00:37:23,291 --> 00:37:25,499 Puff! Puff, look! 474 00:37:25,624 --> 00:37:28,249 - What? - We're on the front cover again 475 00:37:36,249 --> 00:37:39,666 Why do you have to get so carried away, Puff? 476 00:37:39,999 --> 00:37:44,082 - I didn't even have time to dry my hair - Hyenas! 477 00:37:44,207 --> 00:37:46,249 Scumbucket hacks! 478 00:37:52,999 --> 00:37:55,582 All they ever write about day after day 479 00:37:55,749 --> 00:37:57,124 is how much... 480 00:37:59,416 --> 00:38:02,041 you're going to inherit from me... 481 00:38:02,749 --> 00:38:04,707 come tomorrow 482 00:38:05,082 --> 00:38:09,082 Don't get so upset, Puff, your blood pressure 483 00:38:11,374 --> 00:38:13,416 Honey, you already took one 484 00:38:13,582 --> 00:38:15,249 And without water? 485 00:38:27,707 --> 00:38:28,749 That's better 486 00:38:35,541 --> 00:38:37,166 Here he comes 487 00:38:41,332 --> 00:38:43,041 - Go and tell him - Me? 488 00:38:43,166 --> 00:38:45,249 Yeah, it might be easier to hear it from you 489 00:38:47,541 --> 00:38:50,416 Could I have a bottle of Bollinger and two glasses? 490 00:38:50,582 --> 00:38:52,166 Would you like anything else? 491 00:38:52,416 --> 00:38:56,541 - Yes, a couple of hot super models - Not on the menu, sir 492 00:38:57,332 --> 00:38:58,541 Sir 493 00:38:59,332 --> 00:39:01,416 - Your son is here - What? 494 00:39:01,541 --> 00:39:03,457 Your son is here 495 00:39:03,582 --> 00:39:05,749 A son? I don't have a son 496 00:39:13,249 --> 00:39:14,582 At last! 497 00:39:15,291 --> 00:39:16,582 Give me a hug! 498 00:39:18,249 --> 00:39:21,666 - Who the hell are you? - It's me, I'm your son, Vaclav! 499 00:39:22,041 --> 00:39:23,749 Listen to me, asshole 500 00:39:24,082 --> 00:39:26,082 Stay the fuck away or I'll call security 501 00:39:26,541 --> 00:39:30,374 Dad, we came all the way to see you from Ceské Budejovice 502 00:39:30,541 --> 00:39:32,041 "Budejoic”, what? "Bude"... 503 00:39:32,207 --> 00:39:35,374 - So you can meet your family - My family? I don't have a family 504 00:39:35,999 --> 00:39:39,582 These are your granddaughters, Ivanka and Jaromira 505 00:39:39,749 --> 00:39:42,666 Listen, I don't know you, okay? So scram... 506 00:39:43,041 --> 00:39:44,249 They are twins 507 00:39:44,374 --> 00:39:47,416 We used artificial insemination 508 00:39:48,124 --> 00:39:49,082 Dad... 509 00:39:49,249 --> 00:39:54,166 I write so many letters to you, remember? I even sent you wooden squirrel 510 00:39:54,332 --> 00:39:58,249 - So cute, right? - Get the fuck out of my face, you clown 511 00:39:58,416 --> 00:40:01,499 Incredible! How can he be so inhuman? 512 00:40:01,666 --> 00:40:04,416 I am the fruit of your college love 513 00:40:04,541 --> 00:40:08,082 When you were in Prague for two days... This is mama back then 514 00:40:08,249 --> 00:40:13,124 Take one more step, I'm gonna bust your fucking nose wide open, hear me? 515 00:40:13,291 --> 00:40:15,582 You gave her a keychain that said "Chevrolet” 516 00:40:15,749 --> 00:40:18,999 I've never been to Prague, I don't even know where Prague is 517 00:40:19,749 --> 00:40:21,416 You, sir, are heartless 518 00:40:23,124 --> 00:40:26,082 - And on a day like this? - Do you have a light, sweetheart? 519 00:40:27,541 --> 00:40:29,249 Please, please, please 520 00:40:29,416 --> 00:40:33,582 This must be settled calmly, in private, please, there are other guests 521 00:40:35,499 --> 00:40:38,124 Your papa is nervous, this must be a shock for him 522 00:40:38,249 --> 00:40:41,332 You must give him some time, don't worry 523 00:40:46,457 --> 00:40:49,332 A penguin! A penguin! A penguin! 524 00:40:50,041 --> 00:40:51,082 - Tonino? - Yes, boss? 525 00:40:51,249 --> 00:40:54,166 Mr. Dallas's mascot is wandering around outside The Gringo 526 00:40:54,291 --> 00:40:56,332 Get it out of here immediately 527 00:40:56,499 --> 00:40:59,249 Come on, it's just a penguin, come, come 528 00:41:08,332 --> 00:41:09,416 Come 529 00:41:14,041 --> 00:41:15,249 So, here... 530 00:41:15,374 --> 00:41:17,541 You will be comfortable here for now 531 00:41:17,666 --> 00:41:21,291 At the moment it's peaceful, and then we will see 532 00:41:24,124 --> 00:41:25,124 Oh, my god 533 00:41:33,249 --> 00:41:35,124 Can I help you, sir? 534 00:41:43,041 --> 00:41:45,082 - Good afternoon, sir - Caspar Tell 535 00:41:45,207 --> 00:41:47,416 I have an appointment with Mr. Crush, in the lobby bar 536 00:41:47,582 --> 00:41:50,124 - Mr. Crush - I don't know Mr. Crush personally 537 00:41:50,249 --> 00:41:53,207 - Perhaps someone could lead me to him? - Certainly 538 00:41:54,707 --> 00:41:56,499 Mr. Crush in the lobby 539 00:41:57,457 --> 00:41:59,166 Follow him 540 00:41:59,332 --> 00:42:01,124 - Thank you - You're welcome 541 00:42:01,291 --> 00:42:03,541 As I was saying, Marco called... 542 00:42:04,541 --> 00:42:05,666 Thank you 543 00:42:07,499 --> 00:42:09,082 Mr. Crush? 544 00:42:09,207 --> 00:42:13,582 - Mr. Tell! Take a load off, have a seat - Yeah, yes 545 00:42:16,124 --> 00:42:18,332 I was afraid I might not recognize you from your photos 546 00:42:19,207 --> 00:42:20,749 From my photos? 547 00:42:21,082 --> 00:42:23,416 Well, I pride myself on being thorough 548 00:42:23,582 --> 00:42:26,416 The bank always runs a thorough background check on prospective clients 549 00:42:26,707 --> 00:42:29,249 Yeah, well, that's good to know 550 00:42:29,416 --> 00:42:33,416 I mean, background checks are... I'd expect nothing less, believe me 551 00:42:34,249 --> 00:42:36,582 I know you gotta run back to your office, but... 552 00:42:37,082 --> 00:42:39,499 today is a very special day 553 00:42:39,624 --> 00:42:41,249 A drop of champagne with me? 554 00:42:42,707 --> 00:42:44,249 Yes, please 555 00:42:45,416 --> 00:42:46,416 Thank you 556 00:42:47,249 --> 00:42:48,707 There we go 557 00:42:49,416 --> 00:42:50,541 I shouldn't... 558 00:42:52,082 --> 00:42:53,582 - Prost! - Prost 559 00:42:56,749 --> 00:42:58,624 I'm very grateful for the invitation, Mr. Crush 560 00:42:58,999 --> 00:43:01,041 I was here once, when I was seven 561 00:43:01,166 --> 00:43:04,082 My whole first grade class came and we met Father Christmas 562 00:43:04,207 --> 00:43:05,541 I always wanted to come back again 563 00:43:05,707 --> 00:43:08,707 Did you bring that little thing we've discussed? 564 00:43:09,582 --> 00:43:11,749 Well, that's the thing, Mr. Crush 565 00:43:12,082 --> 00:43:15,124 I ran another check on your portfolio right after we spoke this morning 566 00:43:15,749 --> 00:43:18,249 The numbers don't entirely add up 567 00:43:18,416 --> 00:43:21,624 You see? There seems to be a difference of three zeros 568 00:43:21,749 --> 00:43:24,207 - Three zeros - Caspar, listen to me 569 00:43:24,374 --> 00:43:29,166 Computers worldwide are about to crash because of a "difference of zeros" 570 00:43:29,291 --> 00:43:34,082 They gonna read 2000 as zeros, only zeros, zeros here, zeros there... 571 00:43:34,207 --> 00:43:38,374 The whole world is going to be zeros, so an extra zero or two, who'll notice? 572 00:43:38,541 --> 00:43:41,582 Me, it's my job to notice those things 573 00:43:41,707 --> 00:43:44,332 - I've been a bank auditor for 31 years - Exactly! 574 00:43:44,457 --> 00:43:47,999 Now, by this time tomorrow, 575 00:43:48,124 --> 00:43:50,582 we'll be two of the richest men on the planet, all right? 576 00:43:50,749 --> 00:43:53,291 Should we drink to that? Prost! 577 00:43:53,707 --> 00:43:55,082 Prost! 578 00:44:00,041 --> 00:44:01,416 You know what? 579 00:44:01,582 --> 00:44:04,082 The walls have ears in here, why don't we... 580 00:44:04,249 --> 00:44:06,457 go out on the terrace? 581 00:44:18,332 --> 00:44:22,082 In people's minds, New Year is one precise moment, okay? 582 00:44:22,249 --> 00:44:25,666 The stroke of midnight, that's fine, but midnight where? 583 00:44:26,291 --> 00:44:29,416 In Tokyo? In Hawaii? Right here? 584 00:44:29,582 --> 00:44:33,499 New Year's is a bust out twenty-four fucking hours, Caspar 585 00:44:34,249 --> 00:44:38,124 So listen to me, you do your part and this afternoon the rest is easy 586 00:44:38,666 --> 00:44:43,124 The funds get wired to London, then to New York, LA, Honolulu... 587 00:44:43,249 --> 00:44:46,249 each time reaching its destination earlier than it was sent 588 00:44:46,416 --> 00:44:51,124 Well, I suppose, if the credit was logged prior to the debit, 589 00:44:51,249 --> 00:44:54,332 assuming the amount clears before... 590 00:44:54,499 --> 00:44:56,666 We're traveling back in time, Caspar 591 00:44:56,999 --> 00:44:59,457 Like a science fiction thriller 592 00:45:00,582 --> 00:45:04,582 Alright? We put this tired old century in suspended animation 593 00:45:04,749 --> 00:45:06,499 Alright? And then boom! 594 00:45:06,624 --> 00:45:10,249 2000 hits, bang! Hits again, hits again 595 00:45:10,374 --> 00:45:13,166 The whole system resets, okay? 596 00:45:13,332 --> 00:45:16,041 Thank you, Y2K, cha-ching brother! 597 00:45:17,124 --> 00:45:18,291 Cha-ching 598 00:45:43,749 --> 00:45:45,416 Who are you? 599 00:45:45,582 --> 00:45:48,082 I am a plumber, Mr. Kopf ordered me 600 00:45:48,249 --> 00:45:49,582 To do what? 601 00:45:49,749 --> 00:45:52,124 I put grass in your toilet 602 00:46:05,416 --> 00:46:08,249 A truly magnificent idea, Hansueli 603 00:46:08,374 --> 00:46:10,249 Thank you, thank you, thank you 604 00:46:13,582 --> 00:46:15,707 Would you like something to drink? 605 00:46:16,582 --> 00:46:17,749 Monsieur? 606 00:46:18,082 --> 00:46:20,499 - Yes? - Would you like something to drink? 607 00:46:20,666 --> 00:46:22,207 No 608 00:46:30,499 --> 00:46:32,332 Mr. Minetti! 609 00:46:34,291 --> 00:46:35,624 Ski room 610 00:46:36,082 --> 00:46:37,707 Please, come in, come 611 00:46:38,041 --> 00:46:39,999 Goddamn snowboarders! 612 00:46:40,166 --> 00:46:42,166 Oh my God, take off the boots! 613 00:46:42,332 --> 00:46:45,999 Bring some ice from the bar, hurry! Please, have a seat 614 00:46:48,082 --> 00:46:50,416 Come here, here! Pull off, some ice is coming 615 00:46:51,124 --> 00:46:52,166 What happened? 616 00:46:52,332 --> 00:46:53,582 Snowboarders! 617 00:46:53,749 --> 00:46:56,374 Mr. Minetti needs a doctor right away 618 00:46:58,707 --> 00:47:00,499 A doctor? Why? 619 00:47:23,166 --> 00:47:24,582 Thank you very much 620 00:47:26,374 --> 00:47:28,416 - Thank you, madam - What is your name? 621 00:47:28,749 --> 00:47:29,749 Karol 622 00:47:30,249 --> 00:47:32,082 - Czech? - Polish, like Pope 623 00:47:32,249 --> 00:47:33,749 - Pope? - Yes 624 00:47:37,416 --> 00:47:39,499 - Dog likes play, yes? - I beg your pardon? 625 00:47:42,041 --> 00:47:43,582 Nice dog you have 626 00:47:44,749 --> 00:47:46,541 But... where did he find that? 627 00:47:46,749 --> 00:47:47,749 That's not mine 628 00:47:48,457 --> 00:47:51,207 Hotels! You never know who slept in your room the night before 629 00:47:51,374 --> 00:47:52,666 - Yes - Toby! 630 00:47:53,249 --> 00:47:54,499 Put it down! 631 00:47:59,582 --> 00:48:02,374 Okay, I go 632 00:48:02,541 --> 00:48:04,041 I better go now, okay? 633 00:48:07,707 --> 00:48:09,249 Happy New Year, Karol 634 00:48:10,999 --> 00:48:13,416 To you too, madam, Happy New Year 635 00:48:13,582 --> 00:48:16,499 Is there a special party for the staff downstairs? 636 00:48:16,624 --> 00:48:18,457 No, just work, all night 637 00:48:18,624 --> 00:48:23,666 And what if the drain in my bathroom clogged up at, say... 638 00:48:24,041 --> 00:48:25,624 four in the morning? 639 00:48:25,749 --> 00:48:28,291 - I would be there - Then be 640 00:48:28,582 --> 00:48:32,457 Dr. Lima, are you acquainted with our favorite artist, Mr. Minetti? 641 00:48:32,582 --> 00:48:36,499 - Yes, we met briefly at the bar - Darling, boy, how I missed you! 642 00:48:38,457 --> 00:48:40,332 Come with me, darling 643 00:48:40,457 --> 00:48:43,666 Let's have a rest 644 00:48:44,249 --> 00:48:46,332 Didn't I see you on television, dear? 645 00:48:46,499 --> 00:48:49,082 Have a seat, let me get a drink 646 00:48:49,207 --> 00:48:52,082 I can't, I have so much going on downstairs 647 00:48:52,249 --> 00:48:54,082 C'mon, not even a little one? 648 00:48:54,416 --> 00:48:55,457 Okay 649 00:48:56,124 --> 00:48:58,416 - Maybe I deserve a little one - Of course you do 650 00:48:58,582 --> 00:49:01,124 Here we go, to the year 2000! 651 00:49:01,999 --> 00:49:03,416 - Cheers! - Cheers! 652 00:49:05,707 --> 00:49:10,624 So, I will have to wear a bandage at the big party tonight? 653 00:49:10,999 --> 00:49:12,707 We'll have to put something on it 654 00:49:13,082 --> 00:49:17,666 You'll look like this actor from the movie, with a bandage on the nose 655 00:49:18,291 --> 00:49:20,041 What was the name of the movie? 656 00:49:20,207 --> 00:49:22,582 - Yes, yes, yes, yes - Boss? 657 00:49:22,749 --> 00:49:25,749 - Speak - There's a problem in the kitchen 658 00:49:26,082 --> 00:49:29,082 - Of course there is, coming - One for the road? 659 00:49:29,249 --> 00:49:31,082 Yes, a quick one 660 00:49:31,416 --> 00:49:33,541 And maybe you should have another one, a double 661 00:49:35,166 --> 00:49:37,041 - A double? - Bye bye 662 00:49:37,416 --> 00:49:38,707 Bye! 663 00:49:47,082 --> 00:49:48,416 So let's get it over with 664 00:49:58,416 --> 00:50:01,082 You must've played a doctor more than once, right? 665 00:50:01,249 --> 00:50:02,624 Never 666 00:50:02,749 --> 00:50:04,666 Such a cliche 667 00:50:05,416 --> 00:50:08,249 Do you write your own film scripts? 668 00:50:08,416 --> 00:50:10,166 I do sometimes 669 00:50:11,416 --> 00:50:13,416 I used to be a producer 670 00:50:21,416 --> 00:50:23,374 This bit won't hurt 671 00:50:23,541 --> 00:50:25,499 I just need to measure the bone displacement 672 00:50:25,666 --> 00:50:28,457 Relax, think of something pleasant 673 00:50:28,624 --> 00:50:31,207 - Maybe your next film project? - Nothing in the making 674 00:50:31,374 --> 00:50:33,041 I'll warn you before I do anything 675 00:50:34,124 --> 00:50:37,749 Did you know that bats have a bone in their penis? 676 00:50:38,124 --> 00:50:40,749 - Really? - In your line of work, it could prove... 677 00:50:41,124 --> 00:50:42,041 invaluable 678 00:51:10,207 --> 00:51:13,582 It's so dark in here, Puff, I thought you liked looking at me 679 00:51:19,416 --> 00:51:21,291 How beautiful! 680 00:51:23,207 --> 00:51:24,749 The Big Dipper! 681 00:51:25,082 --> 00:51:26,124 Come on, darling 682 00:51:26,291 --> 00:51:29,332 I have a star from the heaven... 683 00:51:30,249 --> 00:51:32,124 just for you 684 00:51:35,416 --> 00:51:37,582 The world's most precious necklace 685 00:51:37,707 --> 00:51:40,499 for my most precious princess 686 00:51:41,249 --> 00:51:42,416 Turn around 687 00:51:42,582 --> 00:51:44,082 Put your hair up 688 00:51:57,374 --> 00:52:00,541 Do I get my blowjob or what? 689 00:52:00,707 --> 00:52:03,999 Testing, one, two, three... 690 00:52:04,374 --> 00:52:06,582 Testing, one, two, three... 691 00:52:14,082 --> 00:52:15,499 Enjoying the oysters? 692 00:52:15,624 --> 00:52:19,332 Yeah, I enjoy, my wife also 693 00:52:19,499 --> 00:52:23,332 The disco will open soon, but I have a quiet place for you for a while 694 00:52:23,707 --> 00:52:25,582 And then we will see again, I guess. 695 00:52:25,749 --> 00:52:28,666 You are very kind, Mr. Hansueli Kopf 696 00:52:32,166 --> 00:52:33,249 As I told you... 697 00:52:41,124 --> 00:52:42,582 Come in, come in 698 00:52:49,166 --> 00:52:52,749 Sit, sit, the children's program ends soon, 699 00:52:53,124 --> 00:52:56,082 but you can rest here and then we will find a better place 700 00:52:56,249 --> 00:52:58,666 - They like it here - Yes, I thought so 701 00:52:58,999 --> 00:53:01,249 - I have twin girls myself - Really? 702 00:53:01,416 --> 00:53:03,291 - Yes - How old? 703 00:53:03,457 --> 00:53:04,749 Grown up 704 00:53:05,082 --> 00:53:07,499 Can I do anything else for you? 705 00:53:07,666 --> 00:53:11,207 I would very much like to call my mama, tell her we are good 706 00:53:11,624 --> 00:53:14,082 No problem, you can use my phone 707 00:53:14,249 --> 00:53:15,416 Thank you, I will be very quick 708 00:53:15,582 --> 00:53:17,624 No, take as much time as you need 709 00:53:18,166 --> 00:53:19,416 Thank you 710 00:53:24,249 --> 00:53:26,124 Mommy, it's me Vaclav! 711 00:53:26,416 --> 00:53:28,207 We're in the same hotel as daddy 712 00:53:28,582 --> 00:53:30,374 He sends his greetings 713 00:53:30,499 --> 00:53:33,374 He remembers the Chevrolet keychain 714 00:53:33,499 --> 00:53:35,416 He looks just like me 715 00:53:35,582 --> 00:53:39,749 Only he's orange, because of the sun 716 00:53:40,124 --> 00:53:41,416 in California 717 00:53:42,541 --> 00:53:45,124 He may come to Budejovice 718 00:53:45,249 --> 00:53:46,707 Wouldn't that be great? 719 00:53:47,541 --> 00:53:49,207 I'll call you back 720 00:53:49,374 --> 00:53:51,041 when I'm with him again 721 00:53:51,291 --> 00:53:52,749 Bye bye, kisses 722 00:53:53,541 --> 00:53:55,749 - Thank you, Mr. Kopf - Yeah 723 00:53:56,499 --> 00:53:58,582 - Enjoy - Thank you 724 00:54:13,666 --> 00:54:15,082 Puff? 725 00:54:16,249 --> 00:54:18,041 Puff, you are okay? 726 00:54:20,207 --> 00:54:21,499 Puff? 727 00:54:21,999 --> 00:54:23,582 Honey, what's the matter? 728 00:54:25,166 --> 00:54:26,582 Arthur! 729 00:54:27,332 --> 00:54:29,124 Arthur, answer me! 730 00:54:43,041 --> 00:54:44,249 Oh, my God! 731 00:54:44,582 --> 00:54:45,749 Oh, my God! 732 00:55:02,999 --> 00:55:04,166 Okay 733 00:55:05,082 --> 00:55:06,749 Okay, don't... 734 00:55:07,082 --> 00:55:08,666 Don't panic 735 00:55:09,457 --> 00:55:11,041 Don't panic, don't panic 736 00:55:12,082 --> 00:55:14,374 God, Magnolia, think 737 00:55:35,041 --> 00:55:36,041 Concierge 738 00:55:36,166 --> 00:55:39,541 - Hello, this is Mrs. Dallas - What can I do for you? 739 00:55:39,666 --> 00:55:43,582 - May I speak to Mr. Kopf? - Could I have him call you back? 740 00:55:43,749 --> 00:55:46,624 - No, I'll hold on - It might take a few minutes 741 00:55:46,749 --> 00:55:49,999 No, that's all right, I'm not going anywhere 742 00:55:51,291 --> 00:55:52,999 Mrs. Frautschi 743 00:55:53,666 --> 00:55:55,582 Oh, my God! What happened here? 744 00:55:55,749 --> 00:55:58,749 A guest tried to flush his banking history down the toilet 745 00:55:59,082 --> 00:56:02,374 - His banking history? - More Y2K madness 746 00:56:02,499 --> 00:56:04,749 Mrs. Frautschi, do you know about this Czech family? 747 00:56:05,124 --> 00:56:08,082 You made sure the whole hotel knows about them 748 00:56:08,249 --> 00:56:09,457 You have to find a place for them to sleep 749 00:56:09,624 --> 00:56:11,374 Mr. Kopf, on a day like this? 750 00:56:11,499 --> 00:56:14,082 - I can't perform miracles - I know 751 00:56:14,207 --> 00:56:17,624 But just put four mattresses in a quiet corner, would you? Please 752 00:56:17,749 --> 00:56:19,207 - Boss? - Yes, speak 753 00:56:19,332 --> 00:56:21,457 Mrs. Dallas is asking for you 754 00:56:23,041 --> 00:56:24,249 I'm coming 755 00:56:27,041 --> 00:56:28,291 Who is it? 756 00:56:32,249 --> 00:56:34,749 It's me, madam, Hansueli Kopf 757 00:56:35,082 --> 00:56:36,541 - Are you alone? - Yes 758 00:56:36,666 --> 00:56:39,082 Come in, I'm in the bedroom 759 00:56:46,999 --> 00:56:48,749 Come closer, please 760 00:56:57,416 --> 00:56:59,541 Good evening, what can I do for you? 761 00:57:00,291 --> 00:57:03,124 Arthur told me you're someone who can be trusted 762 00:57:03,249 --> 00:57:05,707 - Can I trust you? - Of course you can trust me 763 00:57:06,082 --> 00:57:08,249 - You promise? - Absolutely 764 00:57:08,666 --> 00:57:11,124 I'm in a terrible predicament 765 00:57:11,291 --> 00:57:14,124 You're the only person who can help me, I guess 766 00:57:15,082 --> 00:57:17,416 My darling husband is gone 767 00:57:17,541 --> 00:57:21,582 Oh, God, he left you? He's gone on your wedding anniversary? 768 00:57:21,749 --> 00:57:24,124 No, no, he's gone... forever 769 00:57:25,416 --> 00:57:28,749 Just as our happiness was reaching a climax 770 00:57:29,082 --> 00:57:30,749 At least I think so, anyway... 771 00:57:31,249 --> 00:57:33,749 Now, he's definitely gone 772 00:57:36,291 --> 00:57:38,749 Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness! This... 773 00:57:39,082 --> 00:57:41,166 This is... this is... this is terrible 774 00:57:41,291 --> 00:57:45,041 - Is he... how did he... Is he dead? - The worst part is... 775 00:57:45,166 --> 00:57:48,082 I can't seem to part with him 776 00:57:48,249 --> 00:57:51,041 Of course, of course, I'm so sorry 777 00:57:51,166 --> 00:57:52,624 I can imagine how you feel... 778 00:57:52,749 --> 00:57:55,291 No, no, that's not what I'm getting at 779 00:57:58,541 --> 00:58:02,666 Back in Texas, they'd say my husband died in the saddle and... 780 00:58:02,999 --> 00:58:06,166 I can't seem to dismount 781 00:58:06,332 --> 00:58:09,457 Oh, God! Oh, God! I'll call the ambulance right away 782 00:58:09,624 --> 00:58:13,249 No, no, no! Just get me off, please 783 00:58:13,416 --> 00:58:14,582 Please... 784 00:58:17,707 --> 00:58:20,041 Okay, very well 785 00:58:20,207 --> 00:58:22,457 Just give me a moment, I... 786 00:58:22,624 --> 00:58:25,416 absolutely understand the situation, and I'll be back right away 787 00:58:25,582 --> 00:58:27,041 Okay 788 00:58:31,999 --> 00:58:33,082 Really? 789 00:58:33,416 --> 00:58:34,707 Thank you 790 00:58:35,041 --> 00:58:36,582 Thanks so much, Professor 791 00:58:37,291 --> 00:58:39,082 And Happy New Year 792 00:59:05,666 --> 00:59:09,582 I've been advised of an effective way out of such a situation 793 00:59:11,041 --> 00:59:14,082 Would you mind exposing part of your abdomen? 794 00:59:20,749 --> 00:59:22,999 It would be better if you closed your eyes 795 00:59:23,166 --> 00:59:23,999 Oh, God! 796 00:59:45,624 --> 00:59:47,082 Thank you 797 00:59:48,041 --> 00:59:50,416 Thank you, Mr. Kopf, from the bottom of my heart 798 00:59:50,582 --> 00:59:54,166 Well, shall I start making arrangements? 799 00:59:54,332 --> 00:59:56,541 Wait, no! No, please 800 00:59:56,666 --> 01:00:00,291 Not yet, there is another delicate matter 801 01:00:00,416 --> 01:00:03,249 - Yes? - No one else can know until midnight 802 01:00:03,416 --> 01:00:05,666 Until midnight? For religious reasons? 803 01:00:05,999 --> 01:00:10,041 - You obviously don't read the tabloids - No, I try not to 804 01:00:10,207 --> 01:00:13,082 For legal reasons... Wait, no 805 01:00:13,249 --> 01:00:14,374 It's a technicality 806 01:00:15,249 --> 01:00:16,416 I don't understand 807 01:00:16,582 --> 01:00:19,416 - Today is our wedding anniversary - Yes, of course 808 01:00:19,582 --> 01:00:22,082 - We sang and then there was the penguin - According to the will, 809 01:00:22,249 --> 01:00:24,582 I stand to inherit everything, 810 01:00:24,707 --> 01:00:27,582 but only after we've been married a full year 811 01:00:28,541 --> 01:00:30,041 Everything? 812 01:00:30,416 --> 01:00:32,249 It's everything 813 01:00:33,291 --> 01:00:35,541 It's everything or it's nothing 814 01:00:36,499 --> 01:00:38,374 Well, indeed, I understand 815 01:00:38,541 --> 01:00:40,082 Turndown service! 816 01:00:42,374 --> 01:00:44,249 Would you like your turndown service? 817 01:00:47,332 --> 01:00:50,541 Sorry, would you like your turndown service, madam? 818 01:00:50,666 --> 01:00:52,582 Turndown service? 819 01:00:53,332 --> 01:00:56,374 Arthur, we don't need turndown service, do we? 820 01:00:58,166 --> 01:01:00,249 No, no, thank you 821 01:01:00,374 --> 01:01:02,416 Would you like the chocolates, madam? 822 01:01:02,582 --> 01:01:04,166 Chocolates? 823 01:01:04,291 --> 01:01:07,499 Absolutely, my husband adores these chocolates 824 01:01:07,624 --> 01:01:10,082 - Have a good evening - Thank you 825 01:01:32,207 --> 01:01:34,666 This will require your absolute discretion 826 01:01:36,457 --> 01:01:38,416 Something bad? 827 01:01:41,416 --> 01:01:43,582 - Oh, yes - How bad? 828 01:01:46,374 --> 01:01:48,082 Bad bad 829 01:01:48,249 --> 01:01:50,582 A vertical departure 830 01:01:51,749 --> 01:01:53,416 - Who? - Dallas the Third 831 01:01:53,541 --> 01:01:54,707 Fuck! 832 01:01:55,041 --> 01:01:56,416 - The penthouse? - Yes 833 01:01:56,582 --> 01:02:01,416 - It'll be done during the fireworks - Excellent, Mrs. Frautschi, excellent 834 01:02:04,041 --> 01:02:06,624 Are you planning to dim the lights for the fireworks as usual? 835 01:02:06,749 --> 01:02:09,291 - Right after the cow bells - Switch them off completely 836 01:02:11,624 --> 01:02:14,207 Welcome, have a wonderful evening 837 01:02:15,207 --> 01:02:16,457 Coat, please 838 01:02:21,999 --> 01:02:22,749 Thank you 839 01:02:26,416 --> 01:02:27,999 Good evening, Mr. Madoff 840 01:02:28,124 --> 01:02:30,749 Have a wonderful evening and Happy New Year 841 01:02:32,707 --> 01:02:33,749 Thank you, sir 842 01:02:34,582 --> 01:02:38,124 - May I have your name, please? - Tell, Caspar Tell 843 01:02:41,082 --> 01:02:43,041 I don't seem to have your name on the list 844 01:02:44,041 --> 01:02:46,416 I gave you the invitation 845 01:02:46,541 --> 01:02:49,582 Yes, but your name needs to be oh our guest list anyway 846 01:02:50,291 --> 01:02:53,124 Mr. Crush invited me, William Crush 847 01:02:53,249 --> 01:02:56,457 - There's "Mr. Crush and madam" here - I'm his madam 848 01:02:57,249 --> 01:03:00,207 Well of course I'm not a madam, I'm his madman... 849 01:03:00,374 --> 01:03:03,249 I mean, I'm his madam... 850 01:03:03,416 --> 01:03:06,249 I understand completely, welcome, Mr. Tell 851 01:03:07,166 --> 01:03:08,041 Thank you 852 01:03:08,374 --> 01:03:10,457 - We are business partners - Yes, sure 853 01:03:11,582 --> 01:03:13,416 Have a wonderful evening 854 01:03:14,374 --> 01:03:15,624 Good evening, madam 855 01:03:16,541 --> 01:03:17,624 Thank you 856 01:04:06,624 --> 01:04:08,999 - There's my man! - Mr. Crush 857 01:04:09,707 --> 01:04:11,416 Let's celebrate, huh? 858 01:04:12,291 --> 01:04:14,541 Do we deserve to celebrate? 859 01:04:15,291 --> 01:04:18,291 - Yes - That's my pleasure to help, brother 860 01:04:22,416 --> 01:04:24,749 Excuse me, madam, sit right here 861 01:04:25,082 --> 01:04:26,249 Two champagne 862 01:04:30,666 --> 01:04:32,582 It was quite easy, really 863 01:04:33,624 --> 01:04:36,166 I was surprised how easy it turned out to be 864 01:04:37,124 --> 01:04:38,332 Well... 865 01:04:39,499 --> 01:04:44,082 you know, the important thing that you learned today, my friend, is... 866 01:04:44,666 --> 01:04:47,124 the best stuff comes easy 867 01:04:47,291 --> 01:04:49,582 Okay? Trust me 868 01:04:50,166 --> 01:04:51,582 I do 869 01:04:51,749 --> 01:04:53,749 Trust you, I mean 870 01:04:54,416 --> 01:04:56,666 I suppose I have to, now 871 01:04:58,249 --> 01:05:02,541 Well, what are we going to do now? When are we leaving? 872 01:05:03,249 --> 01:05:04,666 Tomorrow 873 01:05:05,041 --> 01:05:06,082 What? 874 01:05:07,124 --> 01:05:09,582 I don't think I can be ready by tomorrow 875 01:05:10,416 --> 01:05:13,749 I still haven't told my mother, I have to pack, 876 01:05:14,082 --> 01:05:16,999 get organized, I have to... all the... Mr. Crush... 877 01:05:17,166 --> 01:05:18,374 Call me Bill 878 01:05:19,041 --> 01:05:20,749 Okay, okay, Mr. Crush 879 01:05:21,082 --> 01:05:22,707 I mean, Bill 880 01:05:23,082 --> 01:05:25,499 Here's to trust, okay? 881 01:05:25,624 --> 01:05:26,582 Okay 882 01:05:29,249 --> 01:05:31,374 - To trust, Bill - To trust 883 01:05:53,457 --> 01:05:54,499 Good evening 884 01:05:56,499 --> 01:05:57,749 C'mon, darling 885 01:06:00,166 --> 01:06:02,082 - It's beautiful - Yes 886 01:06:09,499 --> 01:06:10,582 Welcome, Excellency 887 01:06:10,749 --> 01:06:13,749 I hope our last-minute visit has not caused too much trouble 888 01:06:14,082 --> 01:06:17,499 Not at all, it's a true honor, your party is already at the table 889 01:06:17,624 --> 01:06:21,749 Would you like to join them or would you prefer an aperitif first? 890 01:06:22,082 --> 01:06:25,207 - I'll join them at the table - Follow me 891 01:06:40,041 --> 01:06:41,582 Good evening, Mr. Ambassador! 892 01:06:41,749 --> 01:06:45,082 Trying to broadcast my presence to the entire world? 893 01:06:45,249 --> 01:06:47,041 Sit down and shut up 894 01:06:54,999 --> 01:06:56,499 - All in order? - Absolutely 895 01:06:57,082 --> 01:06:58,416 - No problems? - None 896 01:06:58,541 --> 01:07:00,082 - Got everything? - Yes 897 01:07:00,249 --> 01:07:01,457 Where? 898 01:07:01,582 --> 01:07:02,999 In the safe 899 01:07:03,124 --> 01:07:04,249 Where is it? 900 01:07:04,416 --> 01:07:06,041 Downstairs 901 01:07:06,166 --> 01:07:07,249 The key? 902 01:07:17,749 --> 01:07:18,999 Let's have a look 903 01:07:21,082 --> 01:07:24,082 I'll leave my wife here and you leave your friends 904 01:07:24,999 --> 01:07:26,249 Just you and me 905 01:07:32,207 --> 01:07:33,624 Behave! 906 01:07:39,166 --> 01:07:41,082 Take good care of Mrs. Belova 907 01:07:44,082 --> 01:07:45,416 Irina Anatolievna, a drink? 908 01:07:57,166 --> 01:07:59,541 This I understand! 909 01:08:01,582 --> 01:08:04,666 Let's drink to Irina Anatolievna! 910 01:08:05,416 --> 01:08:07,291 To your mother! 911 01:08:07,416 --> 01:08:09,582 - And your grandmother! - To your dog! 912 01:08:10,082 --> 01:08:12,041 - To your father! - And your grandfather! 913 01:08:13,207 --> 01:08:15,582 To the whole family 914 01:08:46,624 --> 01:08:50,249 - Are you out of your mind? - Sorry, but this is the best we could do 915 01:08:50,416 --> 01:08:52,166 And it wasn't easy 916 01:08:52,291 --> 01:08:56,374 We had to dig out the right sized table and push the other tables to the side 917 01:08:56,541 --> 01:09:00,291 Well, push them more together and bring me a decent table 918 01:09:01,124 --> 01:09:04,124 The table is not so bad, Mr... Bill 919 01:09:04,291 --> 01:09:07,749 I mean, I think it's rather... it's rather nice 920 01:09:08,124 --> 01:09:09,457 Shut up! 921 01:09:09,582 --> 01:09:12,374 And let me remind you that you had no reservation. 922 01:09:12,749 --> 01:09:14,291 Had no reservation... 923 01:09:14,457 --> 01:09:15,624 Listen... 924 01:09:16,249 --> 01:09:18,541 I will not sit at this table 925 01:09:21,416 --> 01:09:23,416 I'll see what I can do for you, sir 926 01:09:29,457 --> 01:09:33,374 Mr. Ambassador, assuming you're still Ambassador, 927 01:09:33,707 --> 01:09:35,749 the situation in Russia has changed 928 01:09:36,082 --> 01:09:38,332 A new president means new possibilities 929 01:09:38,499 --> 01:09:42,041 I'd like to revise our agreement 930 01:09:42,207 --> 01:09:43,749 We all took risks, 931 01:09:44,082 --> 01:09:45,749 so let's be fair 932 01:09:46,082 --> 01:09:48,291 You might not like my line of thought 933 01:09:49,416 --> 01:09:51,124 Look at it like this 934 01:09:51,291 --> 01:09:54,416 There are three of us, plus three bodyguards 935 01:09:54,749 --> 01:09:57,749 With all due respect to your wife, you are alone 936 01:09:58,082 --> 01:09:59,082 Are you sure? 937 01:09:59,249 --> 01:10:01,207 Yes, I'm pretty damn sure 938 01:10:01,332 --> 01:10:03,041 I want to re-negotiate 939 01:10:03,291 --> 01:10:04,332 I'm listening 940 01:10:05,082 --> 01:10:06,457 Fifty-fifty 941 01:10:16,999 --> 01:10:19,041 Here is my offer 942 01:10:19,166 --> 01:10:21,249 You take one, 943 01:10:21,374 --> 01:10:23,624 while I'm still in a good mood 944 01:10:25,124 --> 01:10:28,749 Sooner or later, we will slice up the Russian cake 945 01:10:29,082 --> 01:10:31,291 as usual 946 01:10:31,416 --> 01:10:33,749 And if one day we want to find you, 947 01:10:34,082 --> 01:10:36,041 we will find you, even on the tiniest... 948 01:10:36,207 --> 01:10:38,332 Hawaiian island 949 01:10:39,249 --> 01:10:41,582 - Two? - Don't push it, my boy 950 01:10:42,582 --> 01:10:46,082 Don't push it, my patience has limits 951 01:10:46,249 --> 01:10:48,249 I was only joking 952 01:10:49,291 --> 01:10:51,332 Joking? The key 953 01:11:08,374 --> 01:11:10,041 Let me see 954 01:11:10,207 --> 01:11:11,582 Very good 955 01:11:12,249 --> 01:11:14,332 Okay, as soon as you're finished... 956 01:11:15,999 --> 01:11:17,999 Third time today! 957 01:11:18,541 --> 01:11:21,082 Show your face, you son of a bitch! 958 01:11:31,707 --> 01:11:33,499 Here it comes! 959 01:11:34,124 --> 01:11:36,416 Caviar a go-go! 960 01:11:42,541 --> 01:11:43,582 There she is 961 01:11:43,707 --> 01:11:46,416 Darling! You look sensational! 962 01:11:46,541 --> 01:11:49,749 Stunning! Absolutely stunning! 963 01:11:50,207 --> 01:11:51,749 Where's our lucky man? 964 01:11:53,499 --> 01:11:55,166 Arthur... 965 01:11:56,082 --> 01:11:58,416 Arthur sends his apologies 966 01:11:58,541 --> 01:12:00,707 He had another sleepless night 967 01:12:01,041 --> 01:12:02,457 I know something about that 968 01:12:03,207 --> 01:12:06,749 He decided to take a short nap, but he'll join us soon 969 01:12:07,124 --> 01:12:10,082 He wants his beauty sleep before coming to surprise us 970 01:12:10,207 --> 01:12:12,207 Handsome as Sean Connery 971 01:12:17,124 --> 01:12:18,374 How are you? 972 01:12:19,499 --> 01:12:22,249 It's such a significant day, 973 01:12:23,041 --> 01:12:24,749 especially for you 974 01:12:26,249 --> 01:12:27,332 It's so... 975 01:12:28,416 --> 01:12:30,707 It's hard to put into words 976 01:12:31,999 --> 01:12:33,374 We were so happy... 977 01:12:34,041 --> 01:12:35,249 We are, we are... 978 01:12:35,416 --> 01:12:38,541 so happy, we always will be 979 01:12:46,041 --> 01:12:47,249 Welcome back 980 01:12:52,749 --> 01:12:57,082 What did you scarf down? 981 01:12:59,666 --> 01:13:04,166 My friends, let's toast our new leader, 982 01:13:05,124 --> 01:13:07,374 who will take care of us 983 01:13:08,582 --> 01:13:11,582 for many, many years to come! 984 01:13:27,541 --> 01:13:28,624 What? 985 01:13:28,749 --> 01:13:32,416 I wonder if I can bring my mother! 986 01:13:33,082 --> 01:13:36,207 I can't leave her alone, I'm all she's got 987 01:13:36,332 --> 01:13:39,249 - Your mother? - Yes, my mother 988 01:13:41,374 --> 01:13:44,124 Bring your mother, bring whoever the hell you want, I don't care 989 01:13:44,249 --> 01:13:47,499 Really? That's so nice, Bill, I... 990 01:13:47,624 --> 01:13:49,124 She's gonna die soon 991 01:13:51,416 --> 01:13:54,082 She's 98, I think she's gonna die soon 992 01:13:55,082 --> 01:13:56,291 Great 993 01:13:57,374 --> 01:13:59,374 And she likes hot weather 994 01:14:00,416 --> 01:14:04,291 Hot weather! I'm saying, she likes it hot 995 01:14:04,457 --> 01:14:06,499 Hot! My mama! 996 01:14:06,666 --> 01:14:09,124 Mama likes hot, so... 997 01:14:18,707 --> 01:14:22,499 I'd better go check on Arthur, he must be awake by now 998 01:14:22,666 --> 01:14:25,541 - We're coming with you, darling - Maybe we should all go? 999 01:14:25,666 --> 01:14:30,499 - Let's give Arthur a surprise! - No, no, that's a very bad idea 1000 01:14:31,541 --> 01:14:35,291 You know Arthur, he'd be embarrassed to be seen without his bowtie 1001 01:14:36,041 --> 01:14:38,624 Ok, we'll wait here patiently 1002 01:14:38,749 --> 01:14:41,082 - But hurry up, please - We won't touch the cake 1003 01:14:41,416 --> 01:14:44,749 We'll certainly be down for the fireworks, Arthur loves fireworks 1004 01:14:58,749 --> 01:15:01,249 I must go to the men's room, Bill 1005 01:15:05,624 --> 01:15:06,999 I really must 1006 01:15:07,166 --> 01:15:08,749 Now? What about your caviar? 1007 01:15:10,082 --> 01:15:13,249 No... I'm so sorry, Bill, I... 1008 01:15:14,499 --> 01:15:15,999 I'm sorry, I'm sorry 1009 01:15:17,582 --> 01:15:18,999 Sorry, sorry! 1010 01:15:21,416 --> 01:15:22,999 I'm so sorry, I... 1011 01:15:27,749 --> 01:15:30,041 I'm sorry, really, you... 1012 01:15:31,416 --> 01:15:32,416 Sorry 1013 01:15:35,249 --> 01:15:36,707 Sorry, I'm sorry 1014 01:15:40,291 --> 01:15:41,999 - Sorry! - Be more careful 1015 01:15:42,124 --> 01:15:43,457 Yeah, madam, sorry 1016 01:16:07,457 --> 01:16:09,041 Oh, God! 1017 01:16:09,374 --> 01:16:11,749 What have you done, Caspar? 1018 01:16:12,541 --> 01:16:15,541 What have you done? How could you? 1019 01:16:15,666 --> 01:16:20,499 After so many years of diligence! 1020 01:16:28,416 --> 01:16:31,082 I deserve to be seeing penguins and hearing voices... 1021 01:16:41,291 --> 01:16:43,291 Gimme a drag 1022 01:16:45,082 --> 01:16:48,541 Look at that poor baby, he's waiting for his mommy 1023 01:16:48,707 --> 01:16:51,249 I bet he needs help 1024 01:16:53,582 --> 01:16:55,582 Hi, I'm your mommy 1025 01:16:58,457 --> 01:17:01,249 - Help yourself - Go ahead! 1026 01:17:01,374 --> 01:17:03,499 No, I don't smoke ciggie 1027 01:17:14,416 --> 01:17:16,374 Is this marijuana? 1028 01:17:19,082 --> 01:17:21,082 I smoke marijuanal 1029 01:17:21,207 --> 01:17:23,582 I smoke marijuanal 1030 01:17:26,249 --> 01:17:28,374 I deserve this, you know? 1031 01:17:28,499 --> 01:17:31,082 Mommy gives you permission 1032 01:17:33,582 --> 01:17:35,707 My name... my name is... 1033 01:17:36,041 --> 01:17:39,374 - How cute! - Caspar, Caspar Tell 1034 01:17:40,207 --> 01:17:43,582 - That's my name - I'm Natasha, she's Zoijka 1035 01:17:43,749 --> 01:17:45,582 I'm the woman of your dreams 1036 01:18:17,499 --> 01:18:18,749 Fuck! 1037 01:18:20,166 --> 01:18:21,582 Oh, shit! 1038 01:18:25,707 --> 01:18:27,582 I know who you are 1039 01:18:29,082 --> 01:18:30,457 Holy shit! 1040 01:18:31,749 --> 01:18:34,499 You don't mind, do you? You're probably used to this 1041 01:18:34,666 --> 01:18:38,082 You know what? I'm glad I get to see that with my own two eyes 1042 01:18:38,249 --> 01:18:41,999 - I haven't really been hiding it - It's a monster you got there, brother 1043 01:18:42,124 --> 01:18:44,624 Hey, let me ask you something, is it... 1044 01:18:44,999 --> 01:18:49,124 Is it true that... that thing is insured for five million bucks? 1045 01:18:49,291 --> 01:18:51,457 It used to be, when it was earning 1046 01:18:51,582 --> 01:18:53,416 I wouldn't spend a penny on it now 1047 01:18:53,582 --> 01:18:56,166 You can't get wood, right? What good is it? 1048 01:18:56,332 --> 01:18:58,249 You could always join the circus 1049 01:19:03,749 --> 01:19:07,332 - Something special, sir? - Something very special 1050 01:19:07,457 --> 01:19:10,166 - Want to know why? - Sure 1051 01:19:10,332 --> 01:19:13,207 - Because I can afford it - Because he can afford it 1052 01:19:13,374 --> 01:19:14,582 Good for you, sir 1053 01:19:22,416 --> 01:19:24,582 That one looks beautiful! 1054 01:19:25,124 --> 01:19:29,332 - I want that one, please - Good eye, sir 1055 01:19:34,082 --> 01:19:36,582 - Do you like this? - Yes! Yes! 1056 01:19:36,749 --> 01:19:39,041 Bollinger, 1938 1057 01:19:40,041 --> 01:19:42,249 1938 1058 01:19:42,374 --> 01:19:44,332 Our only bottle 1059 01:19:46,249 --> 01:19:48,707 One of the finest champagnes money can buy 1060 01:19:49,082 --> 01:19:52,416 You'll never know who invited me tonight 1061 01:19:52,541 --> 01:19:55,666 I was invited by Mr. Crush himself 1062 01:19:55,999 --> 01:19:57,166 Who is that? 1063 01:19:57,999 --> 01:19:59,666 - What? - You don't know Mr. Crush? 1064 01:20:07,749 --> 01:20:11,082 There he is, Mr. Crush! Billl 1065 01:20:11,541 --> 01:20:13,624 - This is Mr. Crush... - Caspar! 1066 01:20:13,999 --> 01:20:16,749 - My best friend and business partner - Where were you? Your mother's worried 1067 01:20:17,082 --> 01:20:18,624 She's looking all over for you 1068 01:20:18,749 --> 01:20:20,707 I called you a cab, get his ass out of here 1069 01:20:21,041 --> 01:20:23,999 - Where did you get this tan? Brazil? - It's natural 1070 01:20:24,124 --> 01:20:25,499 Dominican? 1071 01:20:25,624 --> 01:20:27,207 Natural? 1072 01:20:29,749 --> 01:20:31,457 I'll come back, Billy 1073 01:20:31,582 --> 01:20:35,332 Your guest charged this to your room, could you sign, please? 1074 01:20:40,082 --> 01:20:41,541 12,450... 1075 01:20:43,041 --> 01:20:44,166 Is this a joke? 1076 01:20:44,332 --> 01:20:47,582 It's a unique vintage: Bollinger Collection 1938 1077 01:20:48,082 --> 01:20:50,624 Well, take 1938 and stick it up your ass 1078 01:21:55,999 --> 01:21:59,041 I'm sure I know him from somewhere 1079 01:22:06,082 --> 01:22:07,374 Ok, c'mon 1080 01:22:38,124 --> 01:22:39,249 Oh, my God! 1081 01:22:39,749 --> 01:22:40,624 Oh, my God! 1082 01:22:41,499 --> 01:22:44,291 Oh, my God! Don't hurt him 1083 01:22:44,457 --> 01:22:46,707 Please, for the love of God! 1084 01:23:10,541 --> 01:23:13,291 My condolences, Mrs. Dallas 1085 01:23:16,541 --> 01:23:19,416 Mine as well, he was such a kind man 1086 01:23:19,541 --> 01:23:23,374 - You know what to do, Mrs. Frautschi? - Of course, Mr. Kopf 1087 01:23:23,707 --> 01:23:26,749 Don't forget your Czechs, their accommodation is ready 1088 01:23:27,416 --> 01:23:28,999 Oh, my God, the Czechs 1089 01:23:29,291 --> 01:23:31,249 Yes, yes 1090 01:23:44,749 --> 01:23:47,541 He would've loved watching the fireworks 1091 01:23:53,082 --> 01:23:56,207 So, finally, your accommodation is ready 1092 01:23:56,332 --> 01:23:59,082 You will have clean sheets and mattresses, and it's warm 1093 01:23:59,249 --> 01:24:01,416 Thank you, Mr. Kopf, thank you! 1094 01:24:05,499 --> 01:24:08,207 We want to invite you to Ceské Budejovice 1095 01:24:08,999 --> 01:24:12,041 We have two rooms, you can have one all for yourself! 1096 01:24:13,707 --> 01:24:15,082 Thank you 1097 01:24:15,666 --> 01:24:16,499 Thank you 1098 01:24:17,082 --> 01:24:20,416 - What did you do? - We're so happy to see you again 1099 01:24:20,582 --> 01:24:22,166 Dr. Lima! 1100 01:24:22,291 --> 01:24:23,416 Look! 1101 01:24:24,041 --> 01:24:27,416 He's fixed them so much, he can't tell them apart 1102 01:24:30,582 --> 01:24:32,416 Happy New Year! 1103 01:24:34,416 --> 01:24:37,166 Did you see a little strange asshole come by here? 1104 01:24:37,291 --> 01:24:39,582 He had the same cone hat as you 1105 01:24:39,749 --> 01:24:42,249 He was with three beautiful Russians models 1106 01:24:43,416 --> 01:24:45,666 Happy New Year! 1107 01:24:47,582 --> 01:24:50,249 Okay, come, come, come 1108 01:24:50,416 --> 01:24:51,332 Please 1109 01:24:51,499 --> 01:24:53,582 Try that way! 1110 01:24:56,374 --> 01:24:57,624 Please, come this way 1111 01:25:17,457 --> 01:25:19,041 Mr. Crush! 1112 01:25:19,749 --> 01:25:22,082 He fainted with emotion! 1113 01:25:24,999 --> 01:25:27,082 Oh, shit, it's a heart attack! 1114 01:25:29,249 --> 01:25:30,624 Tonino, Tonino! 1115 01:25:31,666 --> 01:25:33,749 Olivia! Olivia, can you hear me? 1116 01:25:44,041 --> 01:25:46,457 Try mouth-to-mouth, I'll call an ambulance right away 1117 01:25:46,582 --> 01:25:49,249 - Mouth-to-mouth? - Yes, yes, do it! 1118 01:25:54,749 --> 01:25:56,082 Sorry! 1119 01:25:57,666 --> 01:25:59,582 Sorry, sorry, sorry 1120 01:26:01,666 --> 01:26:03,082 Sorry! 1121 01:26:04,332 --> 01:26:05,291 Ten! 1122 01:26:05,416 --> 01:26:06,457 Nine! 1123 01:26:06,624 --> 01:26:08,041 Eight! 1124 01:26:08,166 --> 01:26:09,416 Seven! 1125 01:26:09,541 --> 01:26:11,082 Six! 1126 01:26:11,249 --> 01:26:12,249 Five! 1127 01:26:12,416 --> 01:26:14,166 Four, three! 1128 01:26:14,332 --> 01:26:16,207 Two, one... 1129 01:26:16,332 --> 01:26:18,666 Happy New Year! 1130 01:26:24,582 --> 01:26:26,249 - Happy New Year! - Happy New Year 1131 01:26:31,124 --> 01:26:32,582 Happy New Year! 1132 01:26:35,082 --> 01:26:36,207 Happy New Year! 1133 01:26:36,332 --> 01:26:38,499 Happy New Year! 1134 01:27:20,207 --> 01:27:21,166 Tonino! 1135 01:27:28,249 --> 01:27:30,166 - Yes, boss? - Now! 1136 01:27:34,457 --> 01:27:37,124 - Y2K! - It's really happening 1137 01:27:37,291 --> 01:27:40,082 Nostradamus was right, this is the end of the world! 1138 01:27:41,749 --> 01:27:43,374 Oh, my God, it's happening! 1139 01:27:43,541 --> 01:27:47,082 What's happening? Look around, nothing's happening, they do this every year 1140 01:27:47,249 --> 01:27:50,082 Everything is gonna be fine, it's gonna be okay 1141 01:28:32,999 --> 01:28:35,582 Arthur, honeycakes! 1142 01:28:36,707 --> 01:28:39,124 Happy New Year! 1143 01:28:42,749 --> 01:28:45,166 We survived Y2K! 1144 01:28:46,499 --> 01:28:48,416 Didn't I tell you it was only a hoax? 1145 01:28:48,582 --> 01:28:53,207 Happy New Year, Amanda, Arthur's really exhausted 1146 01:28:53,374 --> 01:28:55,124 Well, of course 1147 01:28:57,457 --> 01:28:59,374 Can you believe that? 1148 01:28:59,499 --> 01:29:01,749 Fucking broken-down old snob! 1149 01:29:02,082 --> 01:29:06,249 I gave him his first decent blowjob and he doesn't even look at me 1150 01:29:09,291 --> 01:29:12,457 My God, what money does to people! 1151 01:29:37,582 --> 01:29:39,457 Tonino, switch back on 1152 01:29:57,207 --> 01:29:58,749 Will Grandpa go to heaven? 1153 01:29:59,082 --> 01:30:01,082 Or to hell? 1154 01:30:01,749 --> 01:30:03,541 I don't know, girls 1155 01:30:14,249 --> 01:30:15,582 Help yourself 1156 01:30:18,582 --> 01:30:20,166 Just one 1157 01:30:25,332 --> 01:30:29,166 Listen, don't drink it all at once 1158 01:30:29,999 --> 01:30:32,707 Happy New Year, Mr. Ambassador 1159 01:30:33,041 --> 01:30:36,624 Same to you, Happy New Year! 1160 01:30:43,582 --> 01:30:46,582 Close that fucking door! What are you doing? 1161 01:31:20,374 --> 01:31:22,416 Shit! 1162 01:31:45,082 --> 01:31:46,582 Happy New Year, Mr. Kopf 1163 01:31:47,249 --> 01:31:48,457 Happy New Year 1164 01:31:52,541 --> 01:31:55,749 Do you have a spare key for the safe? 1165 01:31:56,749 --> 01:31:58,082 I already gave you the key 1166 01:31:58,249 --> 01:32:00,999 Yes, but do you have a spare? 1167 01:32:01,166 --> 01:32:03,124 No, there is no spare 1168 01:32:04,666 --> 01:32:07,749 Then you have a problem, Mr. Kopf, because our Ambassador 1169 01:32:08,082 --> 01:32:10,207 is locked inside your safe 1170 01:32:11,249 --> 01:32:13,082 I have a problem? 1171 01:32:14,749 --> 01:32:16,666 You have a problem, huh? 1172 01:32:20,332 --> 01:32:23,041 Maybe? Maybe 1173 01:32:24,249 --> 01:32:25,291 Happy New Year 1174 01:32:26,332 --> 01:32:27,666 Happy New Year 1175 01:32:29,749 --> 01:32:31,124 Fuck 1176 01:33:26,249 --> 01:33:28,416 I came to repair drain 1177 01:34:03,166 --> 01:34:04,541 Thank you so much 1178 01:34:05,207 --> 01:34:07,124 That was... 1179 01:34:07,249 --> 01:34:11,207 the best New Year's party I've ever had 1180 01:34:17,291 --> 01:34:18,666 - Have a great evening - Yeah 1181 01:34:18,999 --> 01:34:19,749 Happy New Year