1
00:00:01,003 --> 00:00:04,009
[birds chirping]
2
00:00:04,009 --> 00:00:06,765
[relaxing music playing]
3
00:00:20,751 --> 00:00:22,004
- [knocks on door]
- [Alfie] Mummy?
4
00:00:22,004 --> 00:00:23,172
Not now, sweetie.
5
00:00:24,174 --> 00:00:27,598
Mummy's visualising
the downfall of her enemy.
6
00:00:28,099 --> 00:00:29,476
[heavy metal music playing]
7
00:00:30,855 --> 00:00:32,065
[exhales deeply]
8
00:00:34,946 --> 00:00:36,198
[exhales deeply]
9
00:00:45,342 --> 00:00:46,553
[music stops]
10
00:00:46,553 --> 00:00:48,640
["Outside Inside" playing]
11
00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:53,567
[sighs] Stupid little bastard almonds.
12
00:00:54,151 --> 00:00:55,988
They look fine to me.
13
00:00:55,988 --> 00:00:57,742
They have to be perfect.
14
00:00:57,742 --> 00:01:00,163
Nora has Jizzlord thinking
I'm some sort of chaos goblin,
15
00:01:00,163 --> 00:01:03,545
so I have to pretend to be a polite
and well-adjusted young lady
16
00:01:03,545 --> 00:01:05,549
at her little fucker's
dumb shit birthday party.
17
00:01:05,549 --> 00:01:08,931
So, you're just gonna make sure
everyone has a lovely time then.
18
00:01:08,931 --> 00:01:11,268
Yeah. That'll fuckin' show her.
19
00:01:11,268 --> 00:01:14,776
[groans]
I hate sleeping in the bath again.
20
00:01:14,776 --> 00:01:16,487
[groaning, straining]
21
00:01:19,326 --> 00:01:21,330
Wait, why you sleeping in the bath?
22
00:01:21,330 --> 00:01:23,501
- [Clark laughs] No, she didn't.
- [Kash laughs] Yes, she did.
23
00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:25,296
- [laughing] No.
- Yes, she did.
24
00:01:25,296 --> 00:01:27,050
- [laughing]
- I swear to you. I swear to you.
25
00:01:27,050 --> 00:01:28,302
- Honest.
- [Clark] You're lying.
26
00:01:28,302 --> 00:01:30,473
- He's staying the night now?
- Carrie.
27
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:32,603
Oh, God. No, no.
28
00:01:32,603 --> 00:01:35,525
I-I didn't mean it, like,
he's staying the night now. Gross.
29
00:01:35,525 --> 00:01:38,615
Why would it be gross?
Is it because they're both boys?
30
00:01:38,615 --> 00:01:41,287
[stammers] No. No, no, no. That's, um...
31
00:01:41,997 --> 00:01:43,667
I love boys. And their boys in turn.
32
00:01:43,667 --> 00:01:46,046
I'm totally fine with this. Absolutely.
33
00:01:46,046 --> 00:01:49,637
I mean... [laughs]
...I channel gay people all the time.
34
00:01:51,348 --> 00:01:53,311
[sighs]
35
00:01:53,311 --> 00:01:55,440
Not that that means I couldn't be--
[gasps]
36
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:59,991
Look, I think we could all self-examine
and find ways to prioritise respect.
37
00:02:00,784 --> 00:02:01,786
Hmm.
38
00:02:03,916 --> 00:02:05,920
You're gays.
Do you know how to make macarons?
39
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:07,005
Yeah. I do, actually.
40
00:02:07,005 --> 00:02:09,009
- [chuckles] Uh...
- [gasps]
41
00:02:09,009 --> 00:02:11,932
It's all about air.
42
00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:13,769
- Now, you're gonna whisk it up...
- Okay.
43
00:02:13,769 --> 00:02:15,564
...get those bubbles going.
44
00:02:15,564 --> 00:02:17,652
Can't believe Nora thinks
I'm holding you back.
45
00:02:17,652 --> 00:02:21,075
I'm a very good owner. I mean, girlfriend.
I've gotta stop saying that.
46
00:02:21,075 --> 00:02:23,997
I know. And Nora's gonna see that today.
47
00:02:23,997 --> 00:02:25,208
- I have a plan.
- Oh, yeah?
48
00:02:25,208 --> 00:02:27,504
- Yeah. So you know fire--
- We're not doing that.
49
00:02:27,504 --> 00:02:29,174
No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.
50
00:02:29,174 --> 00:02:31,512
- So, I set the house on fire...
- No.
51
00:02:31,512 --> 00:02:33,474
- ...then you swoop in and put it out...
- No.
52
00:02:33,474 --> 00:02:35,813
...then Nora has to accept you,
and we can live in harmony.
53
00:02:35,813 --> 00:02:39,444
Please do not set anything
on fire at this children's birthday party.
54
00:02:39,444 --> 00:02:41,282
So, what am I gonna do
with all this petrol?
55
00:02:41,908 --> 00:02:45,081
- I thought that was a gift.
- Exactly. No one will suspect a thing.
56
00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:47,670
- [stammers] Give it to me.
- No, it'll work.
57
00:02:49,214 --> 00:02:51,302
Rob, Jen.
58
00:02:51,302 --> 00:02:54,349
So glad you could make it.
You've missed so many of these.
59
00:02:55,184 --> 00:02:56,646
- Is that for Alfie?
- Yes.
60
00:02:57,147 --> 00:02:58,107
It's petrol.
61
00:03:02,407 --> 00:03:04,369
- [chuckles]
- [Jen] Oh, I love the beige.
62
00:03:04,369 --> 00:03:06,040
- [Jizzlord] You hate beige.
- [Jen shushes]
63
00:03:06,625 --> 00:03:11,760
I got you crinkly paper, hair ties,
caps of bottles. Hours of fun.
64
00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,849
- You weren't at my other birthdays.
- I'm sorry.
65
00:03:14,849 --> 00:03:19,191
I ran away, abandoning you and your mother
for reasons I still don't understand.
66
00:03:19,191 --> 00:03:22,072
Mummy said you were a spy
and had to leave to help save the world.
67
00:03:23,532 --> 00:03:25,871
Oh. Right. Yeah.
68
00:03:25,871 --> 00:03:28,585
I forgot you can just lie to children.
Yeah, that's what happened.
69
00:03:28,585 --> 00:03:31,340
All my other friends had their dads
at their birthdays.
70
00:03:31,340 --> 00:03:32,843
It made me sad.
71
00:03:32,843 --> 00:03:35,390
No, no, no, no. Um, I'm here now,
72
00:03:35,390 --> 00:03:38,647
and I'm not going anywhere,
and I can get you more gifts.
73
00:03:38,647 --> 00:03:40,776
- What'd you like to play with?
- Money.
74
00:03:41,861 --> 00:03:46,788
♪ Nonces, nonces ♪
75
00:03:46,788 --> 00:03:50,211
[sighs] Do you think nonces sounds better
in a C or a G?
76
00:03:50,838 --> 00:03:52,132
Oh, F-sharp.
77
00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:54,052
You've only ever dated girls, right?
78
00:03:55,054 --> 00:03:56,056
Uh, yeah.
79
00:03:56,641 --> 00:03:57,643
It's just...
80
00:03:57,643 --> 00:04:00,607
I'm going to a friend's party next week,
and I want you to come.
81
00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:04,741
But in the past
when I've started seeing someone like you,
82
00:04:04,741 --> 00:04:08,623
well, you don't know
if they're ready to make their debut.
83
00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:10,168
[chuckles]
84
00:04:11,546 --> 00:04:13,424
- Um...
- [gasps] No, it's fine.
85
00:04:13,424 --> 00:04:15,136
It's too soon. I'm jumping ahead.
86
00:04:15,136 --> 00:04:18,309
Chill out Clark, you bloody maniac.
Uh, I'll do a coffee run.
87
00:04:18,309 --> 00:04:20,438
- A piccolo. Oat Piccolo.
- No. No, no. No.
88
00:04:20,438 --> 00:04:21,941
- [breathing shakily]
- No, no--
89
00:04:21,941 --> 00:04:24,196
No. I really, really like this.
I just, um--
90
00:04:24,196 --> 00:04:26,618
Well, I guess
I can't picture what it looks like yet.
91
00:04:26,618 --> 00:04:29,539
Like us, uh, socially.
Like, what if everything's different?
92
00:04:29,539 --> 00:04:32,212
- Sorry. That's a stupid reason. I didn't--
- No, there's no rush.
93
00:04:32,212 --> 00:04:34,049
We can fly under the radar for a bit.
94
00:04:34,759 --> 00:04:36,095
- Thank you.
- [chuckles]
95
00:04:38,809 --> 00:04:40,061
Hello!
96
00:04:40,061 --> 00:04:43,025
["Young Hearts Run Free" playing]
97
00:04:43,025 --> 00:04:44,862
Am I having an LGBTQ+ stroke?
98
00:04:44,862 --> 00:04:47,910
I just want you guys to be super,
super comfortable in this flat.
99
00:04:49,496 --> 00:04:52,837
[stammers]
I got some flavoured vodka, little flags.
100
00:04:52,837 --> 00:04:55,132
I baked some cookies
in the shape of Kim Petras.
101
00:04:56,928 --> 00:04:59,474
- Mini quiches.
- What's gay about mini quiches?
102
00:04:59,474 --> 00:05:01,896
Oh, nothing. I-I just think they're fun.
103
00:05:01,896 --> 00:05:04,442
Ooh! I even got some poppers.
104
00:05:04,442 --> 00:05:06,280
[gasps] Oh, uh, that's not--
105
00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:08,534
Hmm. Okay. Thank you, Carrie.
106
00:05:08,534 --> 00:05:10,454
[doorbell buzzes]
107
00:05:12,542 --> 00:05:13,962
Yas!
108
00:05:13,962 --> 00:05:15,632
Oh, okay, great. Yeah. Come up.
109
00:05:16,593 --> 00:05:19,222
- Who's that?
- Your vigilante friends. [chuckles]
110
00:05:19,222 --> 00:05:21,059
I thought I'd invite them over
to celebrate.
111
00:05:21,728 --> 00:05:22,855
[music fades]
112
00:05:24,065 --> 00:05:26,278
You haven't told them?
[gasps] You haven't told them.
113
00:05:26,278 --> 00:05:28,115
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
114
00:05:29,326 --> 00:05:30,411
[music continues]
115
00:05:30,411 --> 00:05:31,998
[Carrie breathing heavily]
116
00:05:33,835 --> 00:05:35,504
Oh, God, hide the poppers!
117
00:05:36,716 --> 00:05:38,427
[Kash] Okay, triage! What's gayest?
118
00:05:38,427 --> 00:05:39,722
[Carrie whimpers]
119
00:05:39,722 --> 00:05:42,352
[stammers] What's straight music? Polka?
120
00:05:42,352 --> 00:05:43,939
[breathing heavily] Give me the phone!
121
00:05:44,690 --> 00:05:47,487
- ["Dancing In The Moonlight" playing]
- [Gregor] Randall 3D printed a key.
122
00:05:47,487 --> 00:05:50,034
- [Kash] Oh, so green.
- [Ade] Sorry for barging in.
123
00:05:50,034 --> 00:05:51,453
- Ooh. Hello!
- [Megan] Hi.
124
00:05:51,453 --> 00:05:54,042
- [music continues]
- Oh, sick! This is my jam.
125
00:05:54,042 --> 00:05:56,171
- [chuckles]
- [Kash chuckles] Hello.
126
00:05:56,171 --> 00:05:58,593
- [Megan sighs]
- Hey, Kash. How are you doing?
127
00:05:58,593 --> 00:06:00,388
So, why exactly are we here, Kash?
128
00:06:00,388 --> 00:06:03,687
Yeah. Carrie said we should all come over
to "radiate love".
129
00:06:03,687 --> 00:06:07,778
Something about, uh, a cocoon
and a beautiful butterfly.
130
00:06:07,778 --> 00:06:10,116
- It was pretty vague.
- [Kash breathes deeply]
131
00:06:10,116 --> 00:06:12,913
He's probably got some new pathetic
project he wants us to be a part of.
132
00:06:12,913 --> 00:06:14,667
I only came over here to make fun of it.
133
00:06:16,044 --> 00:06:17,005
Yes.
134
00:06:17,965 --> 00:06:22,933
I am writing a musical,
and I want all of you to star in it.
135
00:06:24,854 --> 00:06:25,856
Well then.
136
00:06:27,275 --> 00:06:29,655
I really like musicals, so I'm in.
137
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:31,533
It sounds really fun.
138
00:06:32,076 --> 00:06:33,078
Whoo!
139
00:06:33,872 --> 00:06:36,376
- [bicycle bell dinging]
- [child] Oh, can I just--
140
00:06:36,376 --> 00:06:38,631
- [Alfie] This is my new bike.
- [child] Can I see the bell?
141
00:06:38,631 --> 00:06:40,426
[Alfie] No, don't touch it!
142
00:06:40,426 --> 00:06:41,637
- [kids chattering]
- Oh, Chris.
143
00:06:41,637 --> 00:06:43,140
- [shrieks]
- Oh, don't worry.
144
00:06:43,140 --> 00:06:45,269
- I'm not going to wrestle you again.
- Good. Yeah.
145
00:06:45,896 --> 00:06:47,440
- What are you doing here?
- Oh. [chuckles]
146
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:50,154
Just dropped off the little soldier
his presents. It's nothing big.
147
00:06:50,154 --> 00:06:51,699
It's just a bike, a new tablet,
148
00:06:51,699 --> 00:06:54,955
and some saving bonds
for when he goes off to university.
149
00:06:54,955 --> 00:06:57,502
That's so nice. You're such a good friend.
150
00:06:57,502 --> 00:07:00,007
Yeah, well... Been checking in on him
the last few years.
151
00:07:00,007 --> 00:07:01,134
Kid needs a dad, you know?
152
00:07:02,386 --> 00:07:04,892
It's about 12-and-a-half presents--
[chuckles]
153
00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:07,021
[Chris chuckles] Here he is!
154
00:07:07,021 --> 00:07:09,693
Hey! [grunts] Happy birthday, Son.
155
00:07:10,444 --> 00:07:12,115
I'm glad you're home, Daddy.
156
00:07:14,369 --> 00:07:15,371
[sighs]
157
00:07:20,381 --> 00:07:22,594
[guest] Ooh, what a lovely spread, Nora.
158
00:07:22,594 --> 00:07:23,888
Are those madeleines?
159
00:07:23,888 --> 00:07:25,892
- Yes. They're from the organic bakery...
- Ooh.
160
00:07:25,892 --> 00:07:27,563
...on Titheley Street.
161
00:07:27,563 --> 00:07:29,440
Oh. Then not home-made?
162
00:07:30,401 --> 00:07:32,029
- No, but--
- [guest] It's just that, um,
163
00:07:32,029 --> 00:07:33,658
the shop-bought ones have
sulphites in them.
164
00:07:34,242 --> 00:07:36,413
Hmm. It's a shame.
165
00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:38,041
I made macarons.
166
00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:39,837
- Ooh.
- They're home-made.
167
00:07:39,837 --> 00:07:42,634
[Nora]
No one wants your almond shit-cakes.
168
00:07:42,634 --> 00:07:44,805
- [smacks lips] Oh! They're amazing.
- Oh!
169
00:07:44,805 --> 00:07:46,391
- Mmm. So airy.
- [Nora] Mmm.
170
00:07:46,391 --> 00:07:48,938
- [Nora] They're delicious.
- They taste like a badger's arsehole.
171
00:07:49,439 --> 00:07:50,901
[Nora] Uh...
172
00:07:52,403 --> 00:07:54,407
- [chuckling] So-- Sorry.
- [guest chuckles]
173
00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:55,911
Uh, I have a cold. [chuckles]
174
00:07:55,911 --> 00:07:59,042
- So my taste is off. [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
175
00:07:59,627 --> 00:08:00,795
- [scoffs]
- [guest] Oh.
176
00:08:03,885 --> 00:08:06,097
- What are you doing?
- Just being nice.
177
00:08:08,895 --> 00:08:09,897
Hmm.
178
00:08:09,897 --> 00:08:11,358
[pop music playing]
179
00:08:11,358 --> 00:08:13,278
♪ I love it how you do that thing, yeah ♪
180
00:08:13,278 --> 00:08:15,992
♪ Show my how you do that thing
How you do that thing ♪
181
00:08:16,493 --> 00:08:17,621
Oops.
182
00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:19,625
Stop titting my macarons.
183
00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:20,710
[groans]
184
00:08:21,796 --> 00:08:23,382
Come on.
185
00:08:23,382 --> 00:08:26,012
Yell at me. Make a scene.
186
00:08:26,012 --> 00:08:28,726
There is nothing that you can do
that will get under my skin, Nora.
187
00:08:28,726 --> 00:08:30,689
- I'm impenetrable.
- Hmm.
188
00:08:30,689 --> 00:08:32,233
Well, Rob seems to think so.
189
00:08:32,734 --> 00:08:34,487
♪ Make it boom, boom, boom
Till it pop ♪
190
00:08:34,487 --> 00:08:37,118
I'm right, aren't I?
You still haven't done it, right?
191
00:08:37,118 --> 00:08:40,499
Rob and I fucked on the first date.
Didn't even make it to the bed.
192
00:08:41,126 --> 00:08:44,424
If I was you,
I'd be wondering if he even liked me.
193
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:46,136
♪ You can get it if you got it ♪
194
00:08:47,388 --> 00:08:50,394
[breathing heavily]
195
00:08:50,394 --> 00:08:51,479
[music stops]
196
00:08:55,905 --> 00:08:56,907
[clears throat]
197
00:08:58,745 --> 00:09:00,414
No! You're poor!
198
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,378
Hey, Jen! I've cracked the dad thing.
199
00:09:03,378 --> 00:09:04,464
Alfie likes me,
200
00:09:04,464 --> 00:09:08,513
and I've got this feeling that if anyone
hurts him, I'll kill them with a hammer.
201
00:09:08,513 --> 00:09:09,725
So, it's all good.
202
00:09:09,725 --> 00:09:12,104
That's great. We're having sex. Now.
203
00:09:12,104 --> 00:09:13,190
I'm on a roll today!
204
00:09:14,067 --> 00:09:17,949
It's a dramatic retelling
of our time as vigilantes.
205
00:09:17,949 --> 00:09:19,703
So you need someone to play the hero.
206
00:09:20,412 --> 00:09:21,957
- I graciously accept.
- [Kash] No.
207
00:09:21,957 --> 00:09:24,797
I'll be playing the hero. It's important
to stay faithful to the true story.
208
00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:28,220
Right. So, does that mean
it will end with you running away
209
00:09:28,220 --> 00:09:30,224
- and getting dumped by your girlfriend?
- [chuckles]
210
00:09:30,224 --> 00:09:32,019
That's-- No.
211
00:09:32,019 --> 00:09:35,275
Um, well, no, obviously the artist has
to take some creative licence, right?
212
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:36,654
- [phone buzzes]
- So...
213
00:09:36,654 --> 00:09:39,450
I have to shoot off, lads. I've got a gig.
214
00:09:39,450 --> 00:09:42,749
But as long as I can do the pyrotechnics,
I'm in.
215
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,920
I've got a bunch of Semtex
I need to shift.
216
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:46,381
I can't see why that would be a problem.
217
00:09:47,133 --> 00:09:48,135
- See ya.
- See ya.
218
00:09:48,135 --> 00:09:49,387
Who would I play?
219
00:09:49,387 --> 00:09:51,642
You would play
the love interest of the hero.
220
00:09:51,642 --> 00:09:54,272
Surely Gregor would be playing
your love interest.
221
00:09:56,025 --> 00:09:57,486
- What, why?
- Uh, are we forgetting
222
00:09:57,486 --> 00:10:00,075
about the frankly electric sexual tension
between these two?
223
00:10:00,075 --> 00:10:01,077
Mmm.
224
00:10:01,077 --> 00:10:03,415
- Come on. It's classic enemies to lovers.
- Excuse me?
225
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:05,962
[gulps]
226
00:10:05,962 --> 00:10:07,924
Megan.
Could you come with me for a moment?
227
00:10:07,924 --> 00:10:09,302
- Why?
- Girl stuff.
228
00:10:09,302 --> 00:10:13,101
Yeah, but what kind of girl stuff?
Boys, pregnancy, fun shoes,
229
00:10:13,101 --> 00:10:15,690
endometriosis, pets, small ones--
230
00:10:16,274 --> 00:10:17,276
Okay.
231
00:10:19,405 --> 00:10:20,658
[inhales sharply]
232
00:10:21,284 --> 00:10:22,996
[stammers] I could play the love interest.
233
00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:25,960
[Jen] Just need a room.
234
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,131
[child stutters] I'm having a poo!
235
00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:32,766
[sighing]
236
00:10:35,145 --> 00:10:36,607
I know this is a kid's birthday party,
237
00:10:36,607 --> 00:10:38,527
but how are there kids
literally everywhere?
238
00:10:38,527 --> 00:10:44,288
I will make this child disappear
using magic.
239
00:10:44,288 --> 00:10:46,919
- [crowd] Ooh!
- It's not magic.
240
00:10:46,919 --> 00:10:48,673
You can just teleport things.
241
00:10:48,673 --> 00:10:51,427
Uh, shut up. You're ruining it.
242
00:10:51,427 --> 00:10:52,681
He can teleport people.
243
00:10:53,265 --> 00:10:56,354
Alakazoo, be rid of you!
244
00:10:56,354 --> 00:10:58,860
[crowd gasps, laughs, applauds]
245
00:10:58,860 --> 00:11:00,195
[crowd murmurs]
246
00:11:00,195 --> 00:11:02,659
To places without children in them.
247
00:11:04,078 --> 00:11:05,832
Hesto, presto, reappearo.
248
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,084
[crowd gasps, murmurs]
249
00:11:07,084 --> 00:11:08,503
[applauds]
250
00:11:08,503 --> 00:11:10,007
[gasps, chuckles]
251
00:11:10,007 --> 00:11:11,969
Um, that-that's not my child.
252
00:11:11,969 --> 00:11:13,931
[child] Where did Tommy go?
253
00:11:13,931 --> 00:11:15,893
- Yeah, it is.
- No, it's not.
254
00:11:21,029 --> 00:11:23,533
- I knew it.
- He's not ready for everyone to know.
255
00:11:23,533 --> 00:11:26,164
He's currently convincing them
to star in a musical with him.
256
00:11:26,164 --> 00:11:28,418
So, I don't know
how much longer you expect
257
00:11:28,418 --> 00:11:30,297
the gay cat to stay
in its fruity little bag.
258
00:11:31,215 --> 00:11:33,261
[sighs] I feel so bad.
259
00:11:33,261 --> 00:11:35,474
I put him in this terrible position.
260
00:11:35,474 --> 00:11:38,438
I can only imagine
how much he must be struggling.
261
00:11:38,438 --> 00:11:39,900
♪ Bumhole ♪
262
00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:43,114
- [on speaker] ♪ Bumhole ♪
- [all laughing]
263
00:11:43,114 --> 00:11:47,289
[continues on speaker]
♪ Bumhole, bum-bum-bumhole ♪
264
00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:49,670
♪ Bumhole, bum-bum-bumhole ♪
265
00:11:49,670 --> 00:11:51,005
Wait.
266
00:11:51,005 --> 00:11:52,759
[Kash laughing]
267
00:11:52,759 --> 00:11:54,011
I've got an idea.
268
00:11:54,846 --> 00:11:58,019
Hey. Can you make two adults disappear
somewhere private
269
00:11:58,019 --> 00:12:01,317
for, I don't know,
like, six to nine minutes?
270
00:12:02,069 --> 00:12:03,238
Oh.
271
00:12:03,238 --> 00:12:05,325
I see. Nice.
272
00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:08,415
Ew! Just do it. I'll give you a tenner.
273
00:12:08,415 --> 00:12:09,500
[magician clears throat]
274
00:12:13,718 --> 00:12:15,763
[heavy metal music playing]
275
00:12:20,021 --> 00:12:21,441
[music stops]
276
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:23,612
Kevin, is it?
277
00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:25,532
Let's have a chat.
278
00:12:31,294 --> 00:12:33,339
It's so quiet.
279
00:12:33,841 --> 00:12:35,553
And child-free.
280
00:12:35,553 --> 00:12:36,805
And Carrie-free.
281
00:12:36,805 --> 00:12:37,974
And Kash-free.
282
00:12:43,276 --> 00:12:44,278
[Kash laughing]
283
00:12:44,278 --> 00:12:46,742
[sighs]
It's my responsibility to fix this.
284
00:12:48,036 --> 00:12:50,373
[gasps]
Why are you skulking in the hallway?
285
00:12:50,373 --> 00:12:53,171
We have to convince the guys
that Kash is totally straight.
286
00:12:53,171 --> 00:12:55,802
I could say that he fingered me.
Would that help?
287
00:12:56,845 --> 00:13:00,143
- No.
- But we could throw them off the scent.
288
00:13:00,143 --> 00:13:01,354
Say that we're dating.
289
00:13:01,354 --> 00:13:04,068
Yeah. Yes.
290
00:13:04,068 --> 00:13:06,657
Duplicate Clark, you are a genius.
291
00:13:06,657 --> 00:13:08,076
[Carrie, Clark chuckle]
292
00:13:08,702 --> 00:13:09,746
[Megan exhales deeply]
293
00:13:09,746 --> 00:13:11,625
I'll say it anyway. Can't hurt.
294
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,294
- [farts]
- [all laughing]
295
00:13:13,294 --> 00:13:15,048
[Kash] ♪ Bumhole, bumhole ♪
296
00:13:15,048 --> 00:13:16,969
[upbeat music playing]
297
00:13:16,969 --> 00:13:19,724
♪ Bumhole, bumhole
Bumhole, bumhole ♪
298
00:13:21,102 --> 00:13:22,312
♪ Bumhole, bumhole ♪
299
00:13:22,312 --> 00:13:23,774
- [coughs]
- [music stops]
300
00:13:23,774 --> 00:13:27,824
I know you've all noticed
the unbearable tension between us.
301
00:13:27,824 --> 00:13:30,036
And yes, mm-hmm.
302
00:13:30,036 --> 00:13:32,165
The rumours are true.
Clark is my boyfriend.
303
00:13:33,878 --> 00:13:35,380
- Oh, no, no, no. It's fine.
- [Ade] Hmm.
304
00:13:35,380 --> 00:13:37,217
I told them already. They're chill.
305
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:40,056
- [Ade] Mm-hmm.
- It actually made a really cool preset.
306
00:13:40,056 --> 00:13:42,311
[Kash] ♪ I'm dating a man
Bumhole ♪
307
00:13:42,311 --> 00:13:44,064
- [upbeat music playing]
- [all chuckling]
308
00:13:44,064 --> 00:13:45,191
♪ Man
Bumhole, bumhole ♪
309
00:13:45,860 --> 00:13:46,737
♪ Man ♪
310
00:13:47,989 --> 00:13:49,325
♪ Bumhole
I'm dating a man ♪
311
00:13:49,325 --> 00:13:51,914
- [party horn blowing]
- I thought I'd really, really messed up.
312
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,918
- Are you sure that you're okay?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
313
00:13:53,918 --> 00:13:56,172
- We're good. [chuckles]
- [Megan] I'm not really surprised.
314
00:13:56,172 --> 00:13:57,592
[Gregor] I mean, he's punching, but...
315
00:13:57,592 --> 00:13:59,094
[sighs]
316
00:14:00,138 --> 00:14:01,390
Okay. Time to re-merge.
317
00:14:02,936 --> 00:14:05,650
No. Maybe I want to date Carrie.
318
00:14:05,650 --> 00:14:07,027
- Huh?
- What?
319
00:14:07,027 --> 00:14:10,660
I've never said anything, but Carrie's
given me the perfect opportunity.
320
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:12,496
I'm straight.
321
00:14:12,496 --> 00:14:13,624
[Ade gasps]
322
00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:15,543
[gasping]
323
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,051
Kash fingered me.
324
00:14:21,222 --> 00:14:22,976
I can't believe it's taken us this long.
325
00:14:23,476 --> 00:14:25,271
It's finally just the two of us.
326
00:14:26,315 --> 00:14:27,860
- And sex.
- [chuckles]
327
00:14:27,860 --> 00:14:29,656
[sighs]
328
00:14:29,656 --> 00:14:31,367
[object thuds, rolls]
329
00:14:31,367 --> 00:14:33,789
- [Jen] What the fuck?
- [guest] Where did that bed come from?
330
00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:34,874
Oh, my God!
331
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,127
[guest] Uh, um--
332
00:14:36,127 --> 00:14:38,172
How could this possibly have happened?
333
00:14:38,172 --> 00:14:39,592
How inappropriate!
334
00:14:40,218 --> 00:14:42,557
I want to apologise for Jen's behaviour.
335
00:14:42,557 --> 00:14:45,896
- Is that Daddy? What's Daddy doing?
- He's just having a little lie-down.
336
00:14:45,896 --> 00:14:48,902
[breathing heavily] I have tried
and tried to make this work,
337
00:14:48,902 --> 00:14:52,785
but I think Jen has just proven
what we've all been thinking.
338
00:14:53,494 --> 00:14:54,831
We can't coexist.
339
00:14:55,666 --> 00:14:58,171
- Rob, you're gonna have to choose.
- Choose what?
340
00:14:58,171 --> 00:15:00,008
- [Nora] Do the right thing and decide.
- [Chris] See that?
341
00:15:00,008 --> 00:15:02,889
- It's me and Alfie...
- [Chris, Alfie speak indistinctly]
342
00:15:02,889 --> 00:15:06,103
- ...or Jen.
- Oh, finally. I'm so tired.
343
00:15:06,103 --> 00:15:09,026
- Go on, Jizz. Tell her.
- Like he even has to think about it.
344
00:15:11,948 --> 00:15:13,159
I have to think about it.
345
00:15:13,159 --> 00:15:14,746
- What?
- What?
346
00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:17,250
[scoffs] I'm not straight.
347
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,589
Well, maybe, one in a million of you is.
348
00:15:19,589 --> 00:15:21,425
And he's in love with Carrie.
349
00:15:22,637 --> 00:15:23,847
Oh, God. Uh--
350
00:15:23,847 --> 00:15:26,268
[stammering] What do I, uh--
351
00:15:26,268 --> 00:15:28,147
[stuttering]
352
00:15:29,776 --> 00:15:32,531
If I date you, then you'll be--
But then you'll be s-- Clark.
353
00:15:33,282 --> 00:15:34,953
So sorry. Clarks. Sorry.
354
00:15:34,953 --> 00:15:38,167
Kash, oh, uh-- And I've already-- Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry. [groans]
355
00:15:38,167 --> 00:15:41,340
Uh, someone tell me what to do.
Kash, what's best for you?
356
00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:45,599
Carrie, you are the least selfish person
I've ever met.
357
00:15:46,433 --> 00:15:48,229
- Thank you.
- That's not a compliment.
358
00:15:48,229 --> 00:15:49,858
- No.
- [Carrie] Oh.
359
00:15:49,858 --> 00:15:51,611
You can't live your life for other people.
360
00:15:51,611 --> 00:15:53,489
I mean, everything you've done today
361
00:15:53,489 --> 00:15:55,911
is 'cause you were terrified
what someone else was gonna think.
362
00:15:56,621 --> 00:15:58,124
Got to be more selfish.
363
00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,878
Tell us how Carrie feels!
364
00:15:59,878 --> 00:16:02,842
- About all of this.
- [Ade] Yeah.
365
00:16:02,842 --> 00:16:04,344
Why don't you take the mic?
366
00:16:05,096 --> 00:16:07,560
Use your voice. Live your truth.
367
00:16:12,653 --> 00:16:13,822
Oh, no, wait--
368
00:16:13,822 --> 00:16:15,325
Don't-- Don't smell it.
369
00:16:21,253 --> 00:16:22,255
[distorted] Honestly--
370
00:16:22,255 --> 00:16:25,470
- Ooh.
- Uh, sometimes it gets stuck like that.
371
00:16:25,470 --> 00:16:26,806
Just ignore it.
372
00:16:28,309 --> 00:16:29,311
[mic crackles]
373
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:33,402
[sighs]
374
00:16:34,196 --> 00:16:35,281
[titters]
375
00:16:35,281 --> 00:16:38,914
[distorted] We broke up,
but we still live together.
376
00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:40,834
And work together, which I don't--
377
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,087
[both groan]
378
00:16:42,087 --> 00:16:44,049
[distorted] I don't particularly love,
379
00:16:45,678 --> 00:16:50,103
and then I asked you
to set me up with my work crush.
380
00:16:50,103 --> 00:16:51,940
And you end up dating him instead.
381
00:16:51,940 --> 00:16:53,276
- [gasps]
- [Megan] Hmm.
382
00:16:53,276 --> 00:16:55,864
- [distorted] And it's, like, hello!
- [Kash groans]
383
00:16:55,864 --> 00:16:59,789
[distorted] That's a bit effed up,
actually. And I'm not okay with it.
384
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,210
Not because you're both boys,
385
00:17:02,210 --> 00:17:04,381
- but because we've only just broken up...
- No, no.
386
00:17:04,381 --> 00:17:06,678
...and you're already getting serious
with someone else
387
00:17:06,678 --> 00:17:09,976
like we didn't even mean
anything to each other,
388
00:17:09,976 --> 00:17:13,149
like it's easy, and I don't like it.
389
00:17:13,149 --> 00:17:15,612
- I just-- I just don't like it.
- Yes.
390
00:17:15,612 --> 00:17:18,284
[distorted] And I want you to pay me back
for rent since we moved in.
391
00:17:18,284 --> 00:17:19,494
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
392
00:17:20,413 --> 00:17:21,540
That's enough for one day.
393
00:17:26,216 --> 00:17:28,179
Thank you. Thank you.
394
00:17:28,179 --> 00:17:29,306
- Whoo!
- [Carrie] Aw.
395
00:17:29,306 --> 00:17:31,853
Well, uh, do you want to go out?
396
00:17:33,649 --> 00:17:34,650
No.
397
00:17:36,362 --> 00:17:37,364
I'm sorry.
398
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:39,326
I need to focus on myself.
399
00:17:39,911 --> 00:17:42,290
- [sighs]
- What are we gonna do with straight Clark?
400
00:17:42,290 --> 00:17:44,837
Oh, I'm not straight. No. Ew.
401
00:17:44,837 --> 00:17:47,342
I just wanted to go
to a nice restaurant or something.
402
00:17:47,342 --> 00:17:51,559
You only ever get me to do chores
or take shifts or FaceTime Mum or--
403
00:17:51,559 --> 00:17:53,521
- Hey.
- [sighs]
404
00:17:54,022 --> 00:17:55,609
Drama queen. [chuckles]
405
00:17:55,609 --> 00:17:59,116
There's nothing to even think about.
Look, I'll make the decision for you.
406
00:17:59,116 --> 00:18:00,744
Me. There, done, now let's go.
407
00:18:01,412 --> 00:18:05,546
Look, if it was just you or Nora,
it'd be simple, but a kid needs their dad.
408
00:18:06,338 --> 00:18:08,384
You do, and you're big.
409
00:18:10,179 --> 00:18:13,477
But I've blindly trusted you so far,
and it's worked out.
410
00:18:13,477 --> 00:18:15,481
So, if you tell me to pick you, I will.
411
00:18:15,481 --> 00:18:17,026
- [sighs]
- You're a good owner.
412
00:18:18,112 --> 00:18:19,406
You're not my pet anymore.
413
00:18:20,576 --> 00:18:21,619
It's up to you.
414
00:18:22,872 --> 00:18:25,084
- It's up to me.
- [scoffs]
415
00:18:25,794 --> 00:18:26,921
Oh, no. It's up to me.
416
00:18:26,921 --> 00:18:29,301
How do I decide? I can't decide.
Oh, it's too hard.
417
00:18:29,301 --> 00:18:31,221
I hate agency.
I don't want it. Take it back.
418
00:18:31,221 --> 00:18:32,850
[Randall] Fucking free will.
419
00:18:32,850 --> 00:18:34,896
- Does your nut in, doesn't it?
- What are you?
420
00:18:34,896 --> 00:18:36,482
[stammers] Human piñata.
421
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:38,570
Kids love it.
422
00:18:38,570 --> 00:18:41,158
We're kind of in the middle
of a private conversation here.
423
00:18:41,158 --> 00:18:44,122
We had the same problem, me and the ex,
when we broke up a few years back.
424
00:18:44,122 --> 00:18:46,335
We couldn't figure out
who should take the dog.
425
00:18:46,836 --> 00:18:49,592
So we let the dog decide,
and, um... [inhales deeply]
426
00:18:49,592 --> 00:18:50,677
...they pick right.
427
00:18:51,805 --> 00:18:54,685
Animal instinct. Fucking infallible.
428
00:18:54,685 --> 00:18:56,188
["Get Loud" playing]
429
00:18:56,188 --> 00:18:57,273
[Randall sighs]
430
00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:00,906
♪ We got nothing to lose
We got nothing to lose ♪
431
00:19:00,906 --> 00:19:02,158
[music stops]
432
00:19:03,745 --> 00:19:06,416
[sighs] Whatever happens,
433
00:19:06,416 --> 00:19:09,256
I have to admit I've come to respect you
as a worthy adversary.
434
00:19:09,256 --> 00:19:10,341
- Really?
- No.
435
00:19:10,341 --> 00:19:11,678
The idea of being beaten by you
436
00:19:11,678 --> 00:19:13,849
is the most humiliating thing
I could imagine.
437
00:19:15,644 --> 00:19:18,482
- Psst, psst, psst. Psst, psst, psst.
- Hey, don't. That's cheating.
438
00:19:18,482 --> 00:19:22,156
- Psst, psst, psst, psst, psst, psst.
- [stammers, babbling]
439
00:19:22,156 --> 00:19:25,413
Psst, psst, psst, psst, psst.
440
00:19:25,413 --> 00:19:29,881
- [babbling]
- Psst, psst, psst, psst, psst.
441
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,690
[both babbling]
442
00:19:40,026 --> 00:19:41,654
[guests screaming]
443
00:19:41,654 --> 00:19:43,198
- [Jen, Jizzlord grunt]
- [guests gasp]
444
00:19:44,326 --> 00:19:45,328
Jen?
445
00:19:46,748 --> 00:19:48,585
[baby crying]
446
00:19:48,585 --> 00:19:50,672
["How I Get Myself Killed" playing]
447
00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:53,302
You're home.
448
00:20:11,254 --> 00:20:12,758
[breathing heavily]
449
00:20:19,689 --> 00:20:24,657
♪ This is probably
How I get myself killed ♪
450
00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:26,326
I know we don't have a session, but...
451
00:20:27,705 --> 00:20:28,998
Come in.
452
00:20:30,251 --> 00:20:32,715
[music continues]
453
00:20:34,719 --> 00:20:35,762
[sighs]
454
00:20:43,653 --> 00:20:44,655
[door opens]
455
00:20:47,745 --> 00:20:49,832
[Alfie] Mummy doesn't like
that I'm ginger.
456
00:20:49,832 --> 00:20:52,295
She says it doesn't fit her "anaesthetic".
457
00:20:57,096 --> 00:20:58,515
[music fades]
458
00:20:58,515 --> 00:21:01,647
What's the point in doing the right thing
if you don't get rewarded for it?
459
00:21:01,647 --> 00:21:02,775
It's bullshit.
460
00:21:03,777 --> 00:21:07,450
The act of doing the right thing is,
in and of itself, the reward.
461
00:21:08,787 --> 00:21:11,834
No, I can't do it.
It is bullshit actually, isn't it?
462
00:21:11,834 --> 00:21:13,337
I really thought he'd pick me.
463
00:21:14,005 --> 00:21:16,134
[rain pattering]
464
00:21:17,679 --> 00:21:21,854
Can you imagine some really nice Scotch?
465
00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:26,697
- [kids] Harder! Harder!
- [grunting]
466
00:21:26,697 --> 00:21:28,367
- [kids] Harder!
- [grunts]
467
00:21:28,367 --> 00:21:30,956
[kids cheer]
468
00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:35,130
Yeah, yay. [exhales deeply]
469
00:21:37,426 --> 00:21:38,512
Cheer up, silly.
470
00:21:38,512 --> 00:21:40,934
- We're a family again. [chuckles]
- I miss Jen.
471
00:21:40,934 --> 00:21:42,729
If it helps,
we can pretend that she's died.
472
00:21:44,065 --> 00:21:47,990
[stammers] Sorry.
Um, you're very tall and shiny,
473
00:21:47,990 --> 00:21:50,579
but I don't really like anyone but Jen.
474
00:21:50,579 --> 00:21:53,166
[scoffs] Oh, he's joking.
475
00:21:53,166 --> 00:21:55,004
[chuckles] So cute.
476
00:21:55,004 --> 00:21:57,843
[Nora] You do like me.
You picked me because you like me.
477
00:21:57,843 --> 00:22:00,222
Uh, okay.
Um, I wa-- I wasn't clear enough.
478
00:22:00,222 --> 00:22:01,516
I'm not attracted to you.
479
00:22:01,516 --> 00:22:03,813
[Nora] Oh, I think
he's just disorientated.
480
00:22:03,813 --> 00:22:05,149
Don't [bleep]ing embarrass me.
481
00:22:05,149 --> 00:22:06,276
[guest gasps]
482
00:22:08,238 --> 00:22:09,617
Are you all right, Nora?
483
00:22:11,202 --> 00:22:13,540
Sorry. [laughs]
484
00:22:13,540 --> 00:22:15,377
I'm joking. [laughs]
485
00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:18,050
We are such jokers. [chuckling]
486
00:22:19,678 --> 00:22:21,766
- I don't get it.
- [sighs]
487
00:22:21,766 --> 00:22:23,518
[soft piano music playing]
488
00:22:25,899 --> 00:22:29,113
[sighs] I actually needed this.
489
00:22:30,659 --> 00:22:32,871
[sighs] I spent most of the day
with this one client,
490
00:22:32,871 --> 00:22:35,542
the most boring man in the world.
I'm not shitting you.
491
00:22:35,542 --> 00:22:38,841
The inside of his head is a perfect
replica of the set of the Top Gear studio.
492
00:22:38,841 --> 00:22:42,306
[chuckles] At least not so messy though.
493
00:22:42,306 --> 00:22:43,685
Oh, better messy than boring.
494
00:22:44,728 --> 00:22:47,316
[sighs] I think you're the first client
495
00:22:47,316 --> 00:22:49,529
I'd willingly spend time with
in the outside world.
496
00:22:51,617 --> 00:22:53,078
It's not that chaotic.
497
00:22:53,078 --> 00:22:55,667
Look, we're making progress.
498
00:23:00,426 --> 00:23:01,428
Here.
499
00:23:05,477 --> 00:23:06,856
Here's my personal number.
500
00:23:08,693 --> 00:23:11,072
If you ever wanna talk about anything,
just call me.
501
00:23:13,911 --> 00:23:15,539
- Probably just text.
- Jesus Christ.
502
00:23:15,539 --> 00:23:18,170
- Why can't you people speak on a phone?
- [chuckles]
503
00:23:21,342 --> 00:23:24,349
I'm-I'm confused. [stammers]
Are you two back together sexwise?
504
00:23:24,349 --> 00:23:25,517
- Yes.
- No. Huh?
505
00:23:26,311 --> 00:23:27,564
I'm only here for Alfie.
506
00:23:27,564 --> 00:23:30,277
- [stammers] A kid needs his dad.
- That's what I've always said.
507
00:23:30,277 --> 00:23:32,824
[Jizzlord] But I guess, when he's 18,
I can go back to Jen.
508
00:23:32,824 --> 00:23:35,622
- [high-pitched sound]
- He's seven now, so that's--
509
00:23:35,622 --> 00:23:36,707
[sound stops]
510
00:23:36,707 --> 00:23:37,959
Oh, no.
511
00:23:37,959 --> 00:23:39,420
Shut up, Chris!
512
00:23:39,420 --> 00:23:40,464
[guest gasps]
513
00:23:40,464 --> 00:23:41,759
He didn't say anything.
514
00:23:41,759 --> 00:23:43,679
- We should tell him.
- [groans]
515
00:23:46,644 --> 00:23:48,981
The night you disappeared, you caught us.
516
00:23:49,775 --> 00:23:51,069
- In your bed.
- [gasps]
517
00:23:52,196 --> 00:23:53,741
- [bleep]ing and [bleep]ing.
- [guests gasp]
518
00:23:53,741 --> 00:23:56,454
[stammering]
We thought that's why you left,
519
00:23:56,454 --> 00:23:59,837
but I-I-I guess
it must've, like, triggered your power.
520
00:24:00,421 --> 00:24:03,928
You didn't abandon anyone,
but you just... [breathes shakily]
521
00:24:03,928 --> 00:24:07,393
...you got cucked so hard,
you turned into a cat.
522
00:24:07,393 --> 00:24:10,232
[breathes shakily]
It's a tale as old as time.
523
00:24:10,984 --> 00:24:12,153
So Alfie is...
524
00:24:12,946 --> 00:24:14,198
not mine.
525
00:24:15,284 --> 00:24:16,536
[scoffs] He's lying.
526
00:24:16,536 --> 00:24:18,666
- [chuckles] Alfie isn't his--
- He is!
527
00:24:19,668 --> 00:24:21,547
- Prove it.
- [stammers] You dye his hair!
528
00:24:22,131 --> 00:24:25,012
- You do. He's really ginger.
- That proves nothing.
529
00:24:25,012 --> 00:24:27,559
[chuckles] Chris isn't ginger.
530
00:24:28,143 --> 00:24:30,857
- Aren't I?
- [guests gasp]
531
00:24:30,857 --> 00:24:32,276
[guest] Oh!
532
00:24:32,276 --> 00:24:33,445
[Chris breathes shakily]
533
00:24:34,698 --> 00:24:37,662
- [sighs]
- [Chris] I started dyeing it at uni
534
00:24:38,581 --> 00:24:40,960
so the horrific bullying would stop.
535
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:42,338
[chuckles]
536
00:24:42,338 --> 00:24:45,010
[Nora] Silly boys. [gasps]
Let's do the cake!
537
00:24:46,429 --> 00:24:47,891
It's organic tonka bean!
538
00:24:47,891 --> 00:24:49,477
[guest] Does she know
his penis is still out?
539
00:24:49,477 --> 00:24:50,897
[Nora] Come on, everybody!
540
00:24:50,897 --> 00:24:56,407
Oh, what are you all looking at,
you gawking [bleep]?
541
00:24:56,407 --> 00:24:58,663
- [guests gasp]
- [Nora] Oh, no. She's not perfect.
542
00:24:58,663 --> 00:25:02,211
- [guest] Nora.
- She's not [bleep] perfect!
543
00:25:02,211 --> 00:25:06,469
Well, no [bleep] you, [bleep]ing morons!
544
00:25:06,469 --> 00:25:07,806
You want madeleines?
545
00:25:07,806 --> 00:25:09,935
I'll give you [bleep] madeleines!
546
00:25:09,935 --> 00:25:10,937
[chuckles]
547
00:25:11,730 --> 00:25:13,734
- [guests screaming]
- [Chris] Whoa!
548
00:25:13,734 --> 00:25:15,445
[guests, Chris screaming]
549
00:25:16,740 --> 00:25:18,034
[Chris grunts]
550
00:25:18,034 --> 00:25:22,627
[sighs] I get up at 4:00 a.m.
551
00:25:23,253 --> 00:25:27,136
I haven't eaten sugar in 15 years,
552
00:25:27,136 --> 00:25:31,311
and this is the thanks I get?
553
00:25:31,311 --> 00:25:33,106
[guest] Oh, not the cake, Nora.
554
00:25:33,106 --> 00:25:34,191
[Nora moans]
555
00:25:34,191 --> 00:25:36,070
Oh, [bleep]ing Christ. That's good.
556
00:25:36,070 --> 00:25:39,493
[breathes shakily]
This, um, might be a lot to take in,
557
00:25:39,493 --> 00:25:41,749
but I've wanted to tell you this
for so long.
558
00:25:42,333 --> 00:25:43,627
Oh, my God.
559
00:25:45,005 --> 00:25:48,386
Oh, go on, judge me, you uptight [bleep].
560
00:25:48,386 --> 00:25:50,098
- [scoffs]
- I've always hated you.
561
00:25:50,098 --> 00:25:51,267
[guest] Nora...
562
00:25:51,267 --> 00:25:52,812
I've always hated all of you.
563
00:25:54,106 --> 00:25:55,568
I'm your real dad.
564
00:25:55,568 --> 00:25:58,866
- And I love you so, so much.
- [Nora] You can all suck my [bleep]!
565
00:25:59,533 --> 00:26:00,535
Get out.
566
00:26:01,371 --> 00:26:04,961
Get out of my house, [bleep].
567
00:26:04,961 --> 00:26:06,715
Get out!
568
00:26:06,715 --> 00:26:09,011
Do you have any games on your phone?
569
00:26:09,011 --> 00:26:10,723
[Nora] Oh, go on. Take a picture, [bleep]!
570
00:26:10,723 --> 00:26:12,017
I'll give you my best angle!
571
00:26:12,017 --> 00:26:14,606
- Yes. [sighs]
- [Nora] That's right. It's my [bleep]!
572
00:26:14,606 --> 00:26:15,691
Yeah.
573
00:26:18,948 --> 00:26:21,077
[Kash, Jizzlord, Carrie
babbling, speaking indistinctly]
574
00:26:21,077 --> 00:26:22,747
- [Kash] She's here.
- [Carrie] She's here.
575
00:26:22,747 --> 00:26:23,999
[all speaking indistinctly]
576
00:26:23,999 --> 00:26:26,379
- [Jizzlord] She's coming.
- [Kash, Carrie exclaim, giggle]
577
00:26:26,379 --> 00:26:27,632
[Jizzlord] Jen, I'm free!
578
00:26:27,632 --> 00:26:29,135
- [cheers]
- The kid isn't his.
579
00:26:29,135 --> 00:26:31,347
My best friend
and my wife are having an affair,
580
00:26:31,347 --> 00:26:33,101
and I was deeply, deeply unhappy.
581
00:26:33,101 --> 00:26:34,520
Isn't that great?
582
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:36,817
Now there's nothing
that can come between us.
583
00:26:38,612 --> 00:26:39,781
[breathes shakily] Oh.
584
00:26:40,490 --> 00:26:43,455
[chuckles, breathes shakily]
585
00:26:44,958 --> 00:26:46,210
What did you do?
586
00:26:51,722 --> 00:26:54,059
Is it normal that
when things go wrong in your life,
587
00:26:54,059 --> 00:26:56,022
you just wanna go all in
and ruin everything?
588
00:26:56,022 --> 00:26:57,984
[sighs] Pretty much.
589
00:26:57,984 --> 00:26:59,278
In for a penny. [scoffs]
590
00:26:59,278 --> 00:27:01,365
["Connection" playing]
591
00:27:10,258 --> 00:27:14,141
♪ Riding on any wave
That is the luck you crave ♪
592
00:27:14,141 --> 00:27:16,354
♪ They don't believe it now ♪
593
00:27:16,354 --> 00:27:17,439
[music stops]
594
00:27:19,193 --> 00:27:20,571
Mum?
595
00:27:22,074 --> 00:27:25,163
Can I go back to the party now?
596
00:27:25,998 --> 00:27:27,919
[music continues]
597
00:27:41,529 --> 00:27:45,453
♪ Riding on anything
Anything's good enough ♪
598
00:27:45,453 --> 00:27:49,295
♪ Who would've thought it of
Someone like you? ♪
599
00:27:49,295 --> 00:27:53,261
♪ Just as they brought me round
Now that they brought you down ♪
600
00:27:53,261 --> 00:27:57,269
♪ Roundabout and roundabout
Who wants a life anyway? ♪