1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,004
[birds chirping]
2
00:00:04,087 --> 00:00:06,756
[relaxing music playing]
3
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,039
- [knocks on door]
- [Alfie] Mummy?
4
00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:23,148
Not now, sweetie.
5
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:27,569
Mummy's visualising
the downfall of her enemy.
6
00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:29,446
[heavy metal music playing]
7
00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:32,032
[exhales deeply]
8
00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:36,161
[exhales deeply]
9
00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:46,546
[music stops]
10
00:00:46,629 --> 00:00:48,631
["Outside Inside" playing]
11
00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:53,553
[sighs] Stupid little bastard almonds.
12
00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:55,972
They look fine to me.
13
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,724
They have to be perfect.
14
00:00:57,807 --> 00:01:00,143
Nora has Jizzlord thinking
I'm some sort of chaos goblin,
15
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:03,521
so I have to pretend to be a polite
and well-adjusted young lady
16
00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:05,525
at her little fucker's dumb,
shit birthday party.
17
00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:08,902
So, you're just gonna make sure
everyone has a lovely time then.
18
00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:11,237
Yeah. That'll fuckin' show her.
19
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:14,741
[groans]
I hate sleeping in the bath again.
20
00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:16,451
[groaning, straining]
21
00:01:19,287 --> 00:01:21,289
Wait, why you sleeping in the bath?
22
00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:23,517
- [Clark laughs] No, she didn't.
- [Kash laughs] Yes, she did.
23
00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:25,293
- [laughing] No.
- Yes, she did.
24
00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:27,104
- [laughing]
- I swear to you. I swear to you.
25
00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:28,356
- Honest.
- [Clark] You're lying.
26
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:30,465
- He's staying the night now?
- Carrie.
27
00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:32,592
Oh, God. No, no.
28
00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:35,512
I-I didn't mean it, like,
he's staying the night now. Gross.
29
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:38,598
Why would it be gross?
Is it because they're both boys?
30
00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:41,267
[stammers] No. No, no, no. That's, um...
31
00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:43,645
I love boys. And their boys in turn.
32
00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:46,022
I'm totally fine with this. Absolutely.
33
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:49,609
I mean... [laughs]
...I channel gay people all the time.
34
00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:53,279
[sighs]
35
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,407
Not that that means I couldn't be...
[gasps]
36
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:59,953
Look, I think we could all self-examine
and find ways to prioritise respect.
37
00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:01,746
Hmm.
38
00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,875
You're gays.
Do you know how to make macarons?
39
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,002
Yeah. I do, actually.
40
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,004
- [chuckles] Uh...
- [gasps]
41
00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:11,923
It's all about air.
42
00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:13,758
- Now, you're gonna whisk it up...
- Okay.
43
00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:15,552
...get those bubbles going.
44
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:17,637
Can't believe Nora thinks
I'm holding you back.
45
00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:21,057
I'm a very good owner. I mean, girlfriend.
I've gotta stop saying that.
46
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,977
I know. And Nora's gonna see that today.
47
00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:25,186
- I have a plan.
- Oh, yeah?
48
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:27,480
- Yeah. So you know fire...
- We're not doing that.
49
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,149
No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.
50
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:31,484
- So, I set the house on fire...
- No.
51
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,445
- ...then you swoop in and put it out...
- No.
52
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:35,840
...then Nora has to accept you,
and we can live in harmony.
53
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:39,409
Please do not set anything
on fire at this children's birthday party.
54
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,244
So, what am I gonna do
with all this petrol?
55
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:45,040
- I thought that was a gift.
- Exactly. No one will suspect a thing.
56
00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:47,801
- [stammers] Give it to me.
- No, it'll work.
57
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:51,296
Rob, Jen.
58
00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:54,341
So glad you could make it.
You've missed so many of these.
59
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,634
- Is that for Alfie?
- Yes.
60
00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:58,135
It's petrol.
61
00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:04,351
- [chuckles]
- [Jen] Oh, I love the beige.
62
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:06,154
- [Jizzlord] You hate beige.
- [Jen shushes]
63
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:11,733
I got you crinkly paper, hair ties,
caps of bottles. Hours of fun.
64
00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:14,819
- You weren't at my other birthdays.
- I'm sorry.
65
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:19,157
I ran away, abandoning you and your mother
for reasons I still don't understand.
66
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,035
Mummy said you were a spy
and had to leave to help save the world.
67
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,830
Oh. Right. Yeah.
68
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:28,541
I forgot you can just lie to children.
Yeah, that's what happened.
69
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:31,336
All my other friends had their dads
at their birthdays.
70
00:03:31,419 --> 00:03:32,837
It made me sad.
71
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,382
No, no, no, no. Um, I'm here now,
72
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:38,635
and I'm not going anywhere,
and I can get you more gifts.
73
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,762
- What'd you like to play with?
- Money.
74
00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:46,768
♪ Nonces, nonces ♪
75
00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:50,188
[sighs] Do you think nonces sounds better
in a C or a G?
76
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:52,107
Oh, F-sharp.
77
00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:54,025
You've only ever dated girls, right?
78
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,027
Uh, yeah.
79
00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:57,612
It's just...
80
00:03:57,696 --> 00:04:00,573
I'm going to a friend's party next week,
and I want you to come.
81
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:04,703
But in the past
when I've started seeing someone like you,
82
00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:08,581
well, you don't know
if they're ready to make their debut.
83
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,125
[chuckles]
84
00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:13,420
- Um...
- [gasps] No, it's fine.
85
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:15,130
It's too soon. I'm jumping ahead.
86
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:18,299
Chill out Clark, you bloody maniac.
Uh, I'll do a coffee run.
87
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,427
- A piccolo. Oat Piccolo.
- No. No, no. No.
88
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:21,928
- [breathing shakily]
- No, no...
89
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:24,180
No. I really, really like this.
I just, um...
90
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,599
Well, I guess
I can't picture what it looks like yet.
91
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:29,519
Like us, uh, socially.
Like, what if everything's different?
92
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:32,242
- Sorry. That's a stupid reason. I didn't...
- No, there's no rush.
93
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,024
We can fly under the radar for a bit.
94
00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:36,067
- Thank you.
- [chuckles]
95
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:40,030
Hello!
96
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,991
["Young Hearts Run Free" playing]
97
00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:44,826
Am I having an LGBTQ+ stroke?
98
00:04:44,909 --> 00:04:47,871
I just want you guys to be super,
super comfortable in this flat.
99
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:52,834
[stammers]
I got some flavoured vodka, little flags.
100
00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:55,128
I baked some cookies
in the shape of Kim Petras.
101
00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:59,466
- Mini quiches.
- What's gay about mini quiches?
102
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:01,885
Oh, nothing. I-I just think they're fun.
103
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,429
Ooh! I even got some poppers.
104
00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:06,264
[gasps] Oh, uh, that's not...
105
00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:08,516
Hmm. Okay. Thank you, Carrie.
106
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,435
[doorbell buzzes]
107
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:13,938
Yas!
108
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:15,607
Oh, okay, great. Yeah. Come up.
109
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:19,194
- Who's that?
- Your vigilante friends. [chuckles]
110
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:21,029
I thought I'd invite them over
to celebrate.
111
00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:22,822
[music fades]
112
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,242
You haven't told them?
[gasps] You haven't told them.
113
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,161
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
114
00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:29,371
[music continues]
115
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:30,955
[Carrie breathing heavily]
116
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:34,501
Oh, God, hide the poppers!
117
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:37,420
[Kash] Okay, triage! What's gayest?
118
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:38,713
[Carrie whimpers]
119
00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:41,341
[stammers] What's straight music? Polka?
120
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:42,944
[breathing heavily] Give me the phone!
121
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:46,530
- ["Dancing In The Moonlight" playing]
- [Gregor] Randall 3D printed a key.
122
00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:49,015
- [Kash] Oh, so green.
- [Ade] Sorry for barging in.
123
00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:50,433
- Ooh. Hello!
- [Megan] Hi.
124
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:53,019
- [music continues]
- Oh, sick! This is my jam.
125
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,146
- [chuckles]
- [Kash chuckles] Hello.
126
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:57,565
- [Megan sighs]
- Hey, Kash. How are you doing?
127
00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:59,359
So, why exactly are we here, Kash?
128
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:02,654
Yeah. Carrie said we should all come over
to "radiate love".
129
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:06,741
Something about, uh, a cocoon
and a beautiful butterfly.
130
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:09,077
- It was pretty vague.
- [Kash breathes deeply]
131
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,931
He's probably got some new pathetic
project he wants us to be a part of.
132
00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:13,623
I only came over here to make fun of it.
133
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,001
Yes.
134
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:21,923
I am writing a musical,
and I want all of you to star in it.
135
00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:24,843
Well then.
136
00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:28,638
I really like musicals, so I'm in.
137
00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:30,515
It sounds really fun.
138
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,058
Whoo!
139
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:35,353
- [bicycle bell dinging]
- [child] Oh, can I just...
140
00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:37,665
- [Alfie] This is my new bike.
- [child] Can I see the bell?
141
00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:39,399
[Alfie] No, don't touch it!
142
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:40,668
- [kids chattering]
- Oh, Chris.
143
00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:42,110
- [shrieks]
- Oh, don't worry.
144
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:44,237
- I'm not going to wrestle you again.
- Good. Yeah.
145
00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:46,465
- What are you doing here?
- Oh. [chuckles]
146
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:49,129
Just dropped off the little soldier
his presents. It's nothing big.
147
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,660
It's just a bike, a new tablet,
148
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,913
and some saving bonds
for when he goes off to university.
149
00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:56,458
That's so nice. You're such a good friend.
150
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:59,002
Yeah, well... Been checking in on him
the last few years.
151
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,128
Kid needs a dad, you know?
152
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:03,882
It's about 12-and-a-half presents...
[chuckles]
153
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,009
[Chris chuckles] Here he is!
154
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,678
Hey! [grunts] Happy birthday, Son.
155
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,097
I'm glad you're home, Daddy.
156
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:14,351
[sighs]
157
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:21,566
[guest] Ooh, what a lovely spread, Nora.
158
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:22,859
Are those madeleines?
159
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:24,861
- Yes. They're from the organic bakery...
- Ooh.
160
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:26,529
...on Titheley Street.
161
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,406
Oh. Then not home-made?
162
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,006
- No, but...
- [guest] It's just that, um,
163
00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:32,796
the shop-bought ones have
sulphites in them.
164
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,372
Hmm. It's a shame.
165
00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:36,998
I made macarons.
166
00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:38,833
- Ooh.
- They're home-made.
167
00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:41,628
[Nora]
No one wants your almond shit-cakes.
168
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,797
- [smacks lips] Oh! They're amazing.
- Oh!
169
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,382
- Mmm. So airy.
- [Nora] Mmm.
170
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,065
- [Nora] They're delicious.
- They taste like a badger's arsehole.
171
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:49,886
[Nora] Uh...
172
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:53,390
- [chuckling] So... Sorry.
- [guest chuckles]
173
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,891
Uh, I have a cold. [chuckles]
174
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:58,019
- So my taste is off. [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
175
00:07:58,603 --> 00:07:59,771
- [scoffs]
- [guest] Oh.
176
00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:05,068
- What are you doing?
- Just being nice.
177
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:08,863
Hmm.
178
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:10,323
[pop music playing]
179
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,242
♪ I love it how you do that thing, yeah ♪
180
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,953
♪ Show my how you do that thing
How you do that thing ♪
181
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:16,579
Oops.
182
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:18,581
Stop titting my macarons.
183
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:19,666
[groans]
184
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,377
Come on.
185
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:25,005
Yell at me. Make a scene.
186
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:27,728
There is nothing that you can do
that will get under my skin, Nora.
187
00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:29,676
- I'm impenetrable.
- Hmm.
188
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,219
Well, Rob seems to think so.
189
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,471
♪ Make it boom, boom, boom
Till it pop ♪
190
00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:36,099
I'm right, aren't I?
You still haven't done it, right?
191
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:39,477
Rob and I fucked on the first date.
Didn't even make it to the bed.
192
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:43,398
If I was you,
I'd be wondering if he even liked me.
193
00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,108
♪ You can get it if you got it ♪
194
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:49,362
[breathing heavily]
195
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:50,447
[music stops]
196
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:55,869
[clears throat]
197
00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,372
No! You're poor!
198
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,334
Hey, Jen! I've cracked the dad thing.
199
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:03,460
Alfie likes me,
200
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:07,505
and I've got this feeling that if anyone
hurts him, I'll kill them with a hammer.
201
00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:08,715
So, it's all good.
202
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:11,092
That's great. We're having sex. Now.
203
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:12,177
I'm on a roll today!
204
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:16,931
It's a dramatic retelling
of our time as vigilantes.
205
00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:18,683
So you need someone to play the hero.
206
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,935
- I graciously accept.
- [Kash] No.
207
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:23,831
I'll be playing the hero. It's important
to stay faithful to the true story.
208
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:27,192
Right. So, does that mean
it will end with you running away
209
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:29,253
- and getting dumped by your girlfriend?
- [chuckles]
210
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,987
That's... No.
211
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:34,240
Um, well, no, obviously the artist has
to take some creative licence, right?
212
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:35,617
- [phone buzzes]
- So...
213
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:38,411
I have to shoot off, lads. I've got a gig.
214
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:41,706
But as long as I can do the pyrotechnics,
I'm in.
215
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:43,917
I've got a bunch of Semtex
I need to shift.
216
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,600
I can't see why that would be a problem.
217
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,128
- See ya.
- See ya.
218
00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:48,380
Who would I play?
219
00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:50,632
You would play
the love interest of the hero.
220
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:53,259
Surely Gregor would be playing
your love interest.
221
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,471
- What, why?
- Uh, are we forgetting
222
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:59,057
about the frankly electric sexual tension
between these two?
223
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:00,058
Mmm.
224
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,394
- Come on. It's classic enemies to lovers.
- Excuse me?
225
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:04,938
[gulps]
226
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,898
Megan.
Could you come with me for a moment?
227
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,274
- Why?
- Girl stuff.
228
00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:12,070
Yeah, but what kind of girl stuff?
Boys, pregnancy, fun shoes,
229
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:14,656
endometriosis, pets, small ones...
230
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,241
Okay.
231
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,619
[inhales sharply]
232
00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:21,955
[stammers] I could play the love interest.
233
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,916
[Jen] Just need a room.
234
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,127
[child stutters] I'm having a poo!
235
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,756
[sighing]
236
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,653
I know this is a kid's birthday party,
237
00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:37,512
but how are there kids
literally everywhere?
238
00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:43,268
I will make this child disappear
using magic.
239
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:45,895
- [crowd] Ooh!
- It's not magic.
240
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,647
You can just teleport things.
241
00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:50,400
Uh, shut up. You're ruining it.
242
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,651
He can teleport people.
243
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:55,321
Alakazoo, be rid of you!
244
00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:57,824
[crowd gasps, laughs, applauds]
245
00:10:57,907 --> 00:10:59,159
[crowd murmurs]
246
00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:01,619
To places without children in them.
247
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:04,789
Hesto, presto, reappearo.
248
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,041
[crowd gasps, murmurs]
249
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,459
[applauds]
250
00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:09,002
[gasps, chuckles]
251
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,962
Um, that-that's not my child.
252
00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:12,922
[child] Where did Tommy go?
253
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,883
- Yeah, it is.
- No, it's not.
254
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,515
- I knew it.
- He's not ready for everyone to know.
255
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:25,143
He's currently convincing them to star
in a musical with him.
256
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:27,395
So, I don't know
how much longer you expect
257
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:29,272
the gay cat to stay
in its fruity little bag.
258
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,233
[sighs] I feel so bad.
259
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:34,444
I put him in this terrible position.
260
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,405
I can only imagine
how much he must be struggling.
261
00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:38,865
♪ Bumhole ♪
262
00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:42,077
- [on speaker] ♪ Bumhole ♪
- [all laughing]
263
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:46,247
[continues on speaker]
♪ Bumhole, bum-bum-bumhole ♪
264
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:48,625
♪ Bumhole, bum-bum-bumhole ♪
265
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,001
Wait.
266
00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:51,753
[Kash laughing]
267
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:53,004
I've got an idea.
268
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:57,008
Hey. Can you make two adults disappear
somewhere private
269
00:11:57,092 --> 00:12:00,303
for, I don't know,
like, six to nine minutes?
270
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,222
Oh.
271
00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:04,307
I see. Nice.
272
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:07,394
Ew! Just do it. I'll give you a tenner.
273
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:08,478
[magician clears throat]
274
00:12:12,691 --> 00:12:14,734
[heavy metal music playing]
275
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,407
[music stops]
276
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,575
Kevin, is it?
277
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:24,494
Let's have a chat.
278
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,335
It's so quiet.
279
00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:34,546
And child-free.
280
00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:35,797
And Carrie-free.
281
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:36,965
And Kash-free.
282
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,263
[Kash laughing]
283
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:45,890
[sighs]
It's my responsibility to fix this.
284
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:48,351
[gasps]
Why are you skulking in the hallway?
285
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:51,146
We have to convince the guys
that Kash is totally straight.
286
00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:53,773
I could say that he fingered me.
Would that help?
287
00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:58,111
- No.
- But we could throw them off the scent.
288
00:12:58,194 --> 00:12:59,320
Say that we're dating.
289
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:02,032
Yeah. Yes.
290
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,617
Duplicate Clark, you are a genius.
291
00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:06,036
[Carrie, Clark chuckle]
292
00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:07,704
[Megan exhales deeply]
293
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,581
I'll say it anyway. Can't hurt.
294
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:11,249
- [farts]
- [all laughing]
295
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:13,043
[Kash] ♪ Bumhole, bumhole ♪
296
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,961
[upbeat music playing]
297
00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:17,714
♪ Bumhole, bumhole
Bumhole, bumhole ♪
298
00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:20,300
♪ Bumhole, bumhole ♪
299
00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:21,760
- [coughs]
- [music stops]
300
00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:25,805
I know you've all noticed
the unbearable tension between us.
301
00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:28,016
And yes, mm-hmm.
302
00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:30,143
The rumours are true.
Clark is my boyfriend.
303
00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:33,414
- Oh, no, no, no. It's fine.
- [Ade] Hmm.
304
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,190
I told them already. They're chill.
305
00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:38,026
- [Ade] Mm-hmm.
- It actually made a really cool preset.
306
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:40,278
[Kash] ♪ I'm dating a man
Bumhole ♪
307
00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:42,030
- [upbeat music playing]
- [all chuckling]
308
00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:43,156
♪ Man
Bumhole, bumhole ♪
309
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:44,823
♪ Man ♪
310
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,285
♪ Bumhole
I'm dating a man ♪
311
00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:49,889
- [party horn blowing]
- I thought I'd really, really messed up.
312
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:51,873
- Are you sure that you're okay?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
313
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:54,226
- We're good. [chuckles]
- [Megan] I'm not really surprised.
314
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,645
[Gregor] I mean, he's punching, but...
315
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,087
[sighs]
316
00:13:58,129 --> 00:13:59,381
Okay. Time to re-merge.
317
00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:03,635
No. Maybe I want to date Carrie.
318
00:14:03,718 --> 00:14:05,011
- Huh?
- What?
319
00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:08,640
I've never said anything, but Carrie's
given me the perfect opportunity.
320
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,475
I'm straight.
321
00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:11,601
[Ade gasps]
322
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,520
[gasping]
323
00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:17,023
Kash fingered me.
324
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,944
I can't believe it's taken us this long.
325
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:23,238
It's finally just the two of us.
326
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,824
- And sex.
- [chuckles]
327
00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:27,617
[sighs]
328
00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:29,327
[object thuds, rolls]
329
00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:31,806
- [Jen] What the fuck?
- [guest] Where did that bed come from?
330
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:32,831
Oh, my God!
331
00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:34,082
[guest] Uh, um...
332
00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:36,167
How could this possibly have happened?
333
00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:37,585
How inappropriate!
334
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,547
I want to apologise for Jen's behaviour.
335
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:43,883
- Is that Daddy? What's Daddy doing?
- He's just having a little lie-down.
336
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:46,886
[breathing heavily] I have tried
and tried to make this work,
337
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:50,765
but I think Jen has just proven
what we've all been thinking.
338
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:52,809
We can't coexist.
339
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:56,146
- Rob, you're gonna have to choose.
- Choose what?
340
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,040
- [Nora] Do the right thing and decide.
- [Chris] See that?
341
00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,859
- It's me and Alfie...
- [Chris, Alfie speak indistinctly]
342
00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:04,070
- ...or Jen.
- Oh, finally. I'm so tired.
343
00:15:04,154 --> 00:15:06,990
- Go on, Jizz. Tell her.
- Like he even has to think about it.
344
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,119
I have to think about it.
345
00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:12,704
- What?
- What?
346
00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:15,206
[scoffs] I'm not straight.
347
00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:17,584
Well, maybe, one in a million of you is.
348
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,419
And he's in love with Carrie.
349
00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:21,838
Oh, God. Uh...
350
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,257
[stammering] What do I, uh...
351
00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:26,134
[stuttering]
352
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:30,513
If I date you, then you'll be...
But then you'll be s... Clark.
353
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,932
So sorry. Clarks. Sorry.
354
00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:36,144
Kash, oh, uh... And I've already... Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry. [groans]
355
00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:39,314
Uh, someone tell me what to do.
Kash, what's best for you?
356
00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:43,568
Carrie, you are the least selfish person
I've ever met.
357
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,196
- Thank you.
- That's not a compliment.
358
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,822
- No.
- [Carrie] Oh.
359
00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:49,586
You can't live your life for other people.
360
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:51,451
I mean, everything you've done today
361
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:54,014
is 'cause you were terrified
what someone else was gonna think.
362
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:56,081
Got to be more selfish.
363
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:57,832
Tell us how Carrie feels!
364
00:15:57,916 --> 00:16:00,835
- About all of this.
- [Ade] Yeah.
365
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:02,337
Why don't you take the mic?
366
00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:05,548
Use your voice. Live your truth.
367
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:11,805
Oh, no, wait...
368
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:13,306
Don't... Don't smell it.
369
00:16:19,229 --> 00:16:20,230
[distorted] Honestly...
370
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:23,441
- Ooh.
- Uh, sometimes it gets stuck like that.
371
00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:24,776
Just ignore it.
372
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:27,278
[mic crackles]
373
00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:31,366
[sighs]
374
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:33,243
[titters]
375
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:36,871
[distorted] We broke up,
but we still live together.
376
00:16:36,955 --> 00:16:38,790
And work together, which I don't...
377
00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:40,041
[both groan]
378
00:16:40,125 --> 00:16:42,043
[distorted] I don't particularly love,
379
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:48,091
and then I asked you
to set me up with my work crush.
380
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:49,926
And you end up dating him instead.
381
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,261
- [gasps]
- [Megan] Hmm.
382
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,847
- [distorted] And it's, like, hello!
- [Kash groans]
383
00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:57,767
[distorted] That's a bit effed up,
actually. And I'm not okay with it.
384
00:16:58,977 --> 00:17:00,186
Not because you're both boys,
385
00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:02,355
- but because we've only just broken up...
- No, no.
386
00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:04,649
...and you're already getting serious
with someone else
387
00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:07,944
like we didn't even mean
anything to each other,
388
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:11,114
like it's easy, and I don't like it.
389
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:13,575
- I just... I just don't like it.
- Yes.
390
00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:16,303
[distorted] And I want you to pay me back
for rent since we moved in.
391
00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:17,454
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
392
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,497
That's enough for one day.
393
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:26,171
Thank you. Thank you.
394
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:27,297
- Whoo!
- [Carrie] Aw.
395
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,841
Well, uh, do you want to go out?
396
00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:32,635
No.
397
00:17:34,346 --> 00:17:35,347
I'm sorry.
398
00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:37,307
I need to focus on myself.
399
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:40,268
- [sighs]
- What are we gonna do with straight Clark?
400
00:17:40,352 --> 00:17:42,812
Oh, I'm not straight. No. Ew.
401
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:45,315
I just wanted to go
to a nice restaurant or something.
402
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:49,527
You only ever get me to do chores
or take shifts or FaceTime Mum or...
403
00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:51,488
- Hey.
- [sighs]
404
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:53,573
Drama queen. [chuckles]
405
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:57,077
There's nothing to even think about.
Look, I'll make the decision for you.
406
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,703
Me. There, done, now let's go.
407
00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:03,500
Look, if it was just you or Nora,
it'd be simple, but a kid needs their dad.
408
00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:06,378
You do, and you're big.
409
00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:11,466
But I've blindly trusted you so far,
and it's worked out.
410
00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:13,468
So, if you tell me to pick you, I will.
411
00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:15,011
- [sighs]
- You're a good owner.
412
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:17,389
You're not my pet anymore.
413
00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:19,599
It's up to you.
414
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:23,061
- It's up to me.
- [scoffs]
415
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:24,896
Oh, no. It's up to me.
416
00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:27,273
How do I decide? I can't decide.
Oh, it's too hard.
417
00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:29,192
I hate agency.
I don't want it. Take it back.
418
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:30,819
[Randall] Fucking free will.
419
00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:32,862
- Does your nut in, doesn't it?
- What are you?
420
00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:34,447
[stammers] Human piñata.
421
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:36,533
Kids love it.
422
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,119
We're kind of in the middle
of a private conversation here.
423
00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:42,122
We had the same problem, me and the ex,
when we broke up a few years back.
424
00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:44,290
We couldn't figure out
who should take the dog.
425
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:47,585
So we let the dog decide,
and, um... [inhales deeply]
426
00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:48,670
...they pick right.
427
00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:52,674
Animal instinct. Fucking infallible.
428
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:54,175
["Get Loud" playing]
429
00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:55,260
[Randall sighs]
430
00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:58,888
♪ We got nothing to lose
We got nothing to lose ♪
431
00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:00,140
[music stops]
432
00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:04,394
[sighs] Whatever happens,
433
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:07,230
I have to admit I've come to respect you
as a worthy adversary.
434
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:08,314
- Really?
- No.
435
00:19:08,398 --> 00:19:09,649
The idea of being beaten by you
436
00:19:09,733 --> 00:19:11,818
is the most humiliating thing
I could imagine.
437
00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:16,448
- Psst, psst, psst. Psst, psst, psst.
- Hey, don't. That's cheating.
438
00:19:16,531 --> 00:19:20,118
- Psst, psst, psst, psst, psst, psst.
- [stammers, babbling]
439
00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:23,371
Psst, psst, psst, psst, psst.
440
00:19:23,455 --> 00:19:27,876
- [babbling]
- Psst, psst, psst, psst, psst.
441
00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:36,676
[both babbling]
442
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:39,637
[guests screaming]
443
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:41,241
- [Jen, Jizzlord grunt]
- [guests gasp]
444
00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:43,308
Jen?
445
00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:46,561
[baby crying]
446
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:48,646
["How I Get Myself Killed" playing]
447
00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:51,274
You're home.
448
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:10,752
[breathing heavily]
449
00:20:17,676 --> 00:20:22,639
♪ This is probably
How I get myself killed ♪
450
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,307
I know we don't have a session, but...
451
00:20:25,684 --> 00:20:26,976
Come in.
452
00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:30,689
[music continues]
453
00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:33,733
[sighs]
454
00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:42,617
[door opens]
455
00:20:45,704 --> 00:20:47,789
[Alfie] Mummy doesn't like
that I'm ginger.
456
00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:50,250
She says it doesn't fit her "anaesthetic".
457
00:20:55,088 --> 00:20:56,506
[music fades]
458
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:59,634
What's the point in doing the right thing
if you don't get rewarded for it?
459
00:20:59,718 --> 00:21:00,760
It's bullshit.
460
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:05,432
The act of doing the right thing is,
in and of itself, the reward.
461
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,811
No, I can't do it.
It is bullshit actually, isn't it?
462
00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:11,312
I really thought he'd pick me.
463
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:14,107
[rain pattering]
464
00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:19,821
Can you imagine some really nice Scotch?
465
00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:24,659
- [kids] Harder! Harder!
- [grunting]
466
00:21:24,743 --> 00:21:26,327
- [kids] Harder!
- [grunts]
467
00:21:26,411 --> 00:21:28,913
[kids cheer]
468
00:21:31,082 --> 00:21:33,126
Yeah, yay. [exhales deeply]
469
00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:36,504
Cheer up, silly.
470
00:21:36,588 --> 00:21:38,923
- We're a family again. [chuckles]
- I miss Jen.
471
00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:40,727
If it helps,
we can pretend that she's died.
472
00:21:42,052 --> 00:21:45,972
[stammers] Sorry.
Um, you're very tall and shiny,
473
00:21:46,056 --> 00:21:48,558
but I don't really like anyone but Jen.
474
00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:51,144
[scoffs] Oh, he's joking.
475
00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:52,979
[chuckles] So cute.
476
00:21:53,063 --> 00:21:55,815
[Nora] You do like me.
You picked me because you like me.
477
00:21:55,899 --> 00:21:58,193
Uh, okay.
Um, I wa... I wasn't clear enough.
478
00:21:58,276 --> 00:21:59,486
I'm not attracted to you.
479
00:21:59,569 --> 00:22:01,780
[Nora] Oh, I think
he's just disorientated.
480
00:22:01,863 --> 00:22:03,114
Don't [bleep]ing embarrass me.
481
00:22:03,198 --> 00:22:04,240
[guest gasps]
482
00:22:06,201 --> 00:22:07,577
Are you all right, Nora?
483
00:22:09,162 --> 00:22:11,498
Sorry. [laughs]
484
00:22:11,581 --> 00:22:13,333
I'm joking. [laughs]
485
00:22:13,416 --> 00:22:16,044
We are such jokers. [chuckling]
486
00:22:17,671 --> 00:22:19,756
- I don't get it.
- [sighs]
487
00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:21,508
[soft piano music playing]
488
00:22:23,885 --> 00:22:27,097
[sighs] I actually needed this.
489
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:30,850
[sighs] I spent most of the day
with this one client,
490
00:22:30,934 --> 00:22:33,520
the most boring man in the world.
I'm not shitting you.
491
00:22:33,603 --> 00:22:36,815
The inside of his head is a perfect
replica of the set of the Top Gear studio.
492
00:22:36,898 --> 00:22:40,276
[chuckles] At least not so messy though.
493
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:41,653
Oh, better messy than boring.
494
00:22:42,696 --> 00:22:45,281
[sighs] I think you're the first client
495
00:22:45,365 --> 00:22:47,492
I'd willingly spend time with
in the outside world.
496
00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:51,037
It's not that chaotic.
497
00:22:51,121 --> 00:22:53,623
Look, we're making progress.
498
00:22:57,419 --> 00:22:58,420
Here.
499
00:23:02,465 --> 00:23:03,842
Here's my personal number.
500
00:23:05,677 --> 00:23:08,054
If you ever wanna talk about anything,
just call me.
501
00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:12,517
- Probably just text.
- Jesus Christ.
502
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,145
- Why can't you people speak on a phone?
- [chuckles]
503
00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:21,317
I'm-I'm confused. [stammers]
Are you two back together sexwise?
504
00:23:21,401 --> 00:23:22,485
- Yes.
- No. Huh?
505
00:23:23,278 --> 00:23:24,529
I'm only here for Alfie.
506
00:23:24,612 --> 00:23:27,240
- [stammers] A kid needs his dad.
- That's what I've always said.
507
00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:29,784
[Jizzlord] But I guess, when he's 18,
I can go back to Jen.
508
00:23:29,868 --> 00:23:32,579
- [high-pitched sound]
- He's seven now, so that's...
509
00:23:32,662 --> 00:23:33,663
[sound stops]
510
00:23:33,747 --> 00:23:34,914
Oh, no.
511
00:23:34,998 --> 00:23:36,374
Shut up, Chris!
512
00:23:36,458 --> 00:23:37,459
[guest gasps]
513
00:23:37,542 --> 00:23:38,752
He didn't say anything.
514
00:23:38,835 --> 00:23:40,670
- We should tell him.
- [groans]
515
00:23:43,631 --> 00:23:45,967
The night you disappeared, you caught us.
516
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,053
- In your bed.
- [gasps]
517
00:23:49,179 --> 00:23:50,781
- [bleep]ing and [bleep]ing.
- [guests gasp]
518
00:23:50,805 --> 00:23:53,433
[stammering]
We thought that's why you left,
519
00:23:53,516 --> 00:23:56,811
but I-I-I guess
it must've, like, triggered your power.
520
00:23:57,395 --> 00:24:00,899
You didn't abandon anyone,
but you just... [breathes shakily]
521
00:24:00,982 --> 00:24:04,361
...you got cucked so hard,
you turned into a cat.
522
00:24:04,444 --> 00:24:07,197
[breathes shakily]
It's a tale as old as time.
523
00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:09,115
So Alfie is
524
00:24:09,908 --> 00:24:11,159
not mine.
525
00:24:12,243 --> 00:24:13,495
[scoffs] He's lying.
526
00:24:13,578 --> 00:24:15,622
- [chuckles] Alfie isn't his...
- He is!
527
00:24:16,623 --> 00:24:18,541
- Prove it.
- [stammers] You dye his hair!
528
00:24:19,125 --> 00:24:22,003
- You do. He's really ginger.
- That proves nothing.
529
00:24:22,087 --> 00:24:24,547
[chuckles] Chris isn't ginger.
530
00:24:25,131 --> 00:24:27,842
- Aren't I?
- [guests gasp]
531
00:24:27,926 --> 00:24:29,260
[guest] Oh!
532
00:24:29,344 --> 00:24:30,428
[Chris breathes shakily]
533
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,641
- [sighs]
- [Chris] I started dyeing it at uni.
534
00:24:35,558 --> 00:24:37,936
Thought the horrific bullying would stop.
535
00:24:38,019 --> 00:24:39,312
[chuckles]
536
00:24:39,396 --> 00:24:41,981
[Nora] Silly boys. [gasps]
Let's do the cake!
537
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:44,859
It's organic tonka bean!
538
00:24:44,943 --> 00:24:46,504
[guest] Does she know
his penis is still out?
539
00:24:46,528 --> 00:24:47,862
[Nora] Come on, everybody!
540
00:24:47,946 --> 00:24:53,368
Oh, what are you all looking at,
you gawking [bleep]?
541
00:24:53,451 --> 00:24:55,620
- [guests gasp]
- [Nora] Oh, no. She's not perfect.
542
00:24:55,704 --> 00:24:59,165
- [guest] Nora.
- She's not [bleep] perfect!
543
00:24:59,249 --> 00:25:03,461
Well, no [bleep] you, [bleep]ing morons!
544
00:25:03,545 --> 00:25:04,796
You want madeleines?
545
00:25:04,879 --> 00:25:06,923
I'll give you [bleep] madeleines!
546
00:25:07,007 --> 00:25:08,007
[chuckles]
547
00:25:08,717 --> 00:25:10,719
- [guests screaming]
- [Chris] Whoa!
548
00:25:10,802 --> 00:25:12,429
[guests, Chris screaming]
549
00:25:13,722 --> 00:25:15,015
[Chris grunts]
550
00:25:15,098 --> 00:25:19,602
[sighs] I get up at 4:00 a.m.
551
00:25:20,228 --> 00:25:24,107
I haven't eaten sugar in 15 years,
552
00:25:24,190 --> 00:25:28,278
and this is the thanks I get?
553
00:25:28,361 --> 00:25:30,071
[guest] Oh, not the cake, Nora.
554
00:25:30,155 --> 00:25:31,156
[Nora moans]
555
00:25:31,239 --> 00:25:33,033
Oh, [bleep]ing Christ. That's good.
556
00:25:33,116 --> 00:25:36,453
[breathes shakily]
This, um, might be a lot to take in,
557
00:25:36,536 --> 00:25:38,705
but I've wanted to tell you this
for so long.
558
00:25:39,289 --> 00:25:40,582
Oh, my God.
559
00:25:41,958 --> 00:25:45,378
Oh, go on, judge me, you uptight [bleep].
560
00:25:45,462 --> 00:25:47,088
- [scoffs]
- I've always hated you.
561
00:25:47,172 --> 00:25:48,256
[guest] Nora...
562
00:25:48,340 --> 00:25:49,799
I've always hated all of you.
563
00:25:51,092 --> 00:25:52,552
I'm your real dad.
564
00:25:52,635 --> 00:25:55,847
- And I love you so, so much.
- [Nora] You can all suck my [bleep]!
565
00:25:56,514 --> 00:25:57,515
Get out.
566
00:25:58,350 --> 00:26:01,936
Get out of my house, [bleep].
567
00:26:02,020 --> 00:26:03,688
Get out!
568
00:26:03,772 --> 00:26:05,982
Do you have any games on your phone?
569
00:26:06,066 --> 00:26:07,746
[Nora] Oh, go on. Take a picture, [bleep]!
570
00:26:07,776 --> 00:26:08,985
I'll give you my best angle!
571
00:26:09,069 --> 00:26:11,571
- Yes. [sighs]
- [Nora] That's right. It's my [bleep]!
572
00:26:11,654 --> 00:26:12,655
Yeah.
573
00:26:15,909 --> 00:26:18,095
[Kash, Jizzlord, Carrie
babbling, speaking indistinctly]
574
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:19,764
- [Kash] She's here.
- [Carrie] She's here.
575
00:26:19,788 --> 00:26:20,955
[all speaking indistinctly]
576
00:26:21,039 --> 00:26:23,359
- [Jizzlord] She's coming.
- [Kash, Carrie exclaim, giggle]
577
00:26:23,416 --> 00:26:24,626
[Jizzlord] Jen, I'm free!
578
00:26:24,709 --> 00:26:26,127
- [cheers]
- The kid isn't his.
579
00:26:26,211 --> 00:26:28,338
My best friend
and my wife are having an affair,
580
00:26:28,421 --> 00:26:30,090
and I was deeply, deeply unhappy.
581
00:26:30,173 --> 00:26:31,508
Isn't that great?
582
00:26:31,591 --> 00:26:33,802
Now there's nothing
that can come between us.
583
00:26:35,595 --> 00:26:36,763
[breathes shakily] Oh.
584
00:26:37,472 --> 00:26:40,433
[chuckles, breathes shakily]
585
00:26:41,935 --> 00:26:43,186
What did you do?
586
00:26:48,692 --> 00:26:51,027
Is it normal that
when things go wrong in your life,
587
00:26:51,111 --> 00:26:52,987
you just wanna go all in
and ruin everything?
588
00:26:53,071 --> 00:26:54,948
[sighs] Pretty much.
589
00:26:55,031 --> 00:26:56,241
In for a penny. [scoffs]
590
00:26:56,324 --> 00:26:58,326
["Connection" playing]
591
00:27:07,252 --> 00:27:11,131
♪ Riding on any wave
That is the luck you crave ♪
592
00:27:11,214 --> 00:27:13,341
♪ They don't believe it now ♪
593
00:27:13,425 --> 00:27:14,426
[music stops]
594
00:27:16,177 --> 00:27:17,554
Mum?
595
00:27:19,055 --> 00:27:22,142
Can I go back to the party now?
596
00:27:22,976 --> 00:27:24,894
[music continues]
597
00:27:38,491 --> 00:27:42,412
♪ Riding on anything
Anything's good enough ♪
598
00:27:42,495 --> 00:27:46,249
♪ Who would've thought it of
Someone like you? ♪
599
00:27:46,332 --> 00:27:50,253
♪ Just as they brought me round
Now that they brought you down ♪
600
00:27:50,337 --> 00:27:54,257
♪ Roundabout and roundabout
Who wants a life anyway? ♪