1
00:00:02,089 --> 00:00:04,468
[Jizzlord] So thoughtful of Nora to
put all my stuff into storage.
2
00:00:04,468 --> 00:00:05,930
[Kash] Give you ten quid for all of it.
3
00:00:05,930 --> 00:00:08,602
There's not going to be
anything expensive inside to flip.
4
00:00:08,602 --> 00:00:10,188
100 and that's my best offer.
5
00:00:10,188 --> 00:00:11,274
Kash.
6
00:00:12,067 --> 00:00:13,111
300?
7
00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:18,413
[whirs, rattles]
8
00:00:18,413 --> 00:00:21,168
All right.
Let's find out what kind of man I was.
9
00:00:27,431 --> 00:00:29,769
[light bulbs clicking]
10
00:00:30,813 --> 00:00:33,819
[relaxing jazz music plays]
11
00:00:44,506 --> 00:00:45,718
[gulps]
12
00:00:47,137 --> 00:00:48,139
400.
13
00:00:48,139 --> 00:00:49,726
Oh, my God, Kash.
14
00:00:49,726 --> 00:00:51,354
What? They're expensive.
15
00:00:51,354 --> 00:00:53,399
I don't think
the resale value's very high.
16
00:00:53,399 --> 00:00:56,197
And unit 69. [chuckles] Nice.
17
00:00:57,407 --> 00:00:58,534
Wait, we're unit 65.
18
00:01:00,497 --> 00:01:02,919
Oh, sorry. Unit 65's this way.
19
00:01:02,919 --> 00:01:06,467
[sighs] Wonder who does own it.
20
00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:09,014
[whistling]
21
00:01:10,475 --> 00:01:11,477
[whistling stops]
22
00:01:15,151 --> 00:01:17,197
[humming]
23
00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:24,128
["Witness" playing]
24
00:01:51,390 --> 00:01:52,560
[air puffs]
25
00:01:58,947 --> 00:01:59,949
[grunts]
26
00:02:18,987 --> 00:02:19,989
[chuckles]
27
00:02:24,540 --> 00:02:26,711
"Happy birthday, Rob.
28
00:02:26,711 --> 00:02:29,717
Your best mate always, Chris."
29
00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:31,262
[footsteps]
30
00:02:31,262 --> 00:02:33,099
I had a best mate.
31
00:02:33,099 --> 00:02:34,894
[Jen] Who's sending us post?
32
00:02:38,150 --> 00:02:40,363
[sighs]
Nora's invited us to her book launch.
33
00:02:40,363 --> 00:02:41,448
[Jizzlord] Oh!
34
00:02:41,448 --> 00:02:45,039
That's so nice of her. Wow.
I mean, I-I have no idea what that is,
35
00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:46,918
but, um, wow! [chuckles]
36
00:02:46,918 --> 00:02:48,296
Gosh, she's great, isn't she?
37
00:02:48,296 --> 00:02:50,926
Yeah, well. Sometimes people may
seem nice on the outside,
38
00:02:50,926 --> 00:02:54,934
but in the inside they're
a churning hot tub of venom and shit, so...
39
00:02:54,934 --> 00:02:57,355
I'm a pretty good judge of character
when it comes to people.
40
00:02:57,355 --> 00:02:58,942
It's like animal instinct, so...
41
00:02:58,942 --> 00:03:02,157
Really? What do you think of this man?
42
00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:06,248
Nice smile. He seems like a good lad.
43
00:03:07,627 --> 00:03:08,837
That's Osama bin Laden.
44
00:03:10,214 --> 00:03:12,093
So, you're saying
Nora's like Osama bin Laden.
45
00:03:12,093 --> 00:03:15,809
No, no, no, no. I just--
She may not be as nice as she seems.
46
00:03:15,809 --> 00:03:17,772
[laughs] Nora?
47
00:03:17,772 --> 00:03:19,483
Nah! [laughs]
48
00:03:19,483 --> 00:03:22,740
Why would I marry someone who isn't nice?
Think about it, Jen.
49
00:03:23,825 --> 00:03:25,119
I'll tell her we're busy that night.
50
00:03:25,119 --> 00:03:28,209
Oh, no, no, no, no. We have to go.
My best mate might be there.
51
00:03:29,211 --> 00:03:31,215
Chris. I long for him, Jen.
52
00:03:32,425 --> 00:03:34,806
[sighs] Okay.
53
00:03:35,808 --> 00:03:37,435
Whose dress code is beige?
54
00:03:37,435 --> 00:03:41,151
♪ Let's pass the time
Me and you, you and me ♪
55
00:03:42,404 --> 00:03:45,326
♪ Let's pass the time
Just you and me ♪
56
00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:51,004
♪ There's never ever been two friends
Quite like we ♪
57
00:03:51,004 --> 00:03:52,090
Ah.
58
00:03:53,719 --> 00:03:56,390
♪ Let's pass the time
Just you and me ♪
59
00:03:57,601 --> 00:03:58,729
♪ You're my best friend ♪
60
00:03:58,729 --> 00:03:59,897
[sighs]
61
00:03:59,897 --> 00:04:02,152
♪ And I'm yours too ♪
62
00:04:02,653 --> 00:04:04,197
[music fades]
63
00:04:04,197 --> 00:04:05,366
[Carrie clears throat]
64
00:04:05,366 --> 00:04:07,036
Oh.
65
00:04:07,036 --> 00:04:08,665
Sorry. [chuckles]
66
00:04:09,959 --> 00:04:11,170
Oh, there's only one left.
67
00:04:11,170 --> 00:04:13,215
Uh, you have it.
68
00:04:13,215 --> 00:04:14,509
Absolutely. [chuckles]
69
00:04:14,509 --> 00:04:15,763
No, I-I couldn't.
70
00:04:16,472 --> 00:04:18,517
I insist. My treat.
71
00:04:20,313 --> 00:04:22,233
I'm really grateful
that you let me have it
72
00:04:22,233 --> 00:04:24,279
- because I can't have caffeine...
- It's an absolute no-no.
73
00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:26,033
- ...because I have IBS.
- 'Cause of my IBS.
74
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:29,791
[soft string music plays]
75
00:04:33,799 --> 00:04:34,634
[woman vocalises]
76
00:04:34,634 --> 00:04:37,138
- [music stops]
- Found you. Can you play bass?
77
00:04:37,138 --> 00:04:40,061
[scoffs] Is the pope a lizard
wearing human skin?
78
00:04:40,061 --> 00:04:42,107
I know he's not. I'm just being whimsical.
79
00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:43,568
- [laughs] Yes.
- [chuckles]
80
00:04:46,031 --> 00:04:47,701
[Clark] Oh, I hope it's a new scheme.
81
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:51,375
- He can do it.
- [Clark] Yes!
82
00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:53,964
[Clarks muttering]
83
00:04:55,676 --> 00:04:56,678
[clears throat]
84
00:04:57,763 --> 00:04:59,182
- You know the notes, right?
- [Clark] Got them.
85
00:04:59,182 --> 00:05:00,518
- [Kash] Great. Listen.
- [Clark] Yeah.
86
00:05:00,518 --> 00:05:02,648
- All right--
- [Carrie] You're supposed to be digitising
87
00:05:02,648 --> 00:05:04,735
case records from 2003 to 2005.
88
00:05:04,735 --> 00:05:06,906
Okay, but what if, instead of doing that,
89
00:05:06,906 --> 00:05:10,371
I develop something that will
triple the company's profits overnight?
90
00:05:10,371 --> 00:05:13,043
- Oh, my God. That is amazing. How?
- [Kash laughs]
91
00:05:13,753 --> 00:05:15,172
Original hold music.
92
00:05:16,008 --> 00:05:17,010
- [sighs]
- Clarks!
93
00:05:17,010 --> 00:05:19,431
A one, two, three, four.
94
00:05:19,431 --> 00:05:21,226
[slow jazz plays]
95
00:05:23,230 --> 00:05:26,738
♪ We can't come to the phone right now ♪
96
00:05:27,363 --> 00:05:30,621
♪ You might ask why
Well, I'll tell you why ♪
97
00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:34,211
♪ There's a million reasons
Like we're out of town ♪
98
00:05:34,211 --> 00:05:38,010
♪ Or we're on a call
Maybe we're having a poo ♪
99
00:05:38,010 --> 00:05:41,768
♪ Or an active shooter situation ♪
100
00:05:41,768 --> 00:05:45,483
♪ And he's holding us hostage
In the kitchen ♪
101
00:05:46,986 --> 00:05:49,825
♪ Susan's crying, she's got three kids ♪
102
00:05:49,825 --> 00:05:52,665
♪ There's a struggle for the gun ♪
103
00:05:54,251 --> 00:05:58,217
♪ But then it goes off
And the gunman goes down ♪
104
00:05:58,217 --> 00:06:03,102
♪ But Richard's been hit in the gut ♪
105
00:06:03,812 --> 00:06:07,736
♪ And then there's so much blood
But he makes it through ♪
106
00:06:07,736 --> 00:06:12,328
♪ We're all bonded through our trauma ♪
107
00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:13,372
Ah.
108
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:18,090
♪ Or hosting a charity coffee morning ♪
109
00:06:18,090 --> 00:06:20,762
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
110
00:06:23,977 --> 00:06:25,396
Well, it's all we got so far.
111
00:06:26,941 --> 00:06:27,943
It's...
112
00:06:27,943 --> 00:06:29,195
You hate it.
113
00:06:29,195 --> 00:06:30,824
Um...
114
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:32,118
I knew it.
115
00:06:32,118 --> 00:06:33,997
[sniffs] It's terrible.
116
00:06:33,997 --> 00:06:37,462
God! It's this office.
This soul-sucking nine-to-five.
117
00:06:37,462 --> 00:06:39,675
I'm creatively stifled here, Carrie.
118
00:06:39,675 --> 00:06:41,219
Now, I need to express myself,
119
00:06:41,219 --> 00:06:44,059
but I'm selling my soul
completing these mindless tasks.
120
00:06:44,059 --> 00:06:46,355
And for what? A measly £1,500 a week.
121
00:06:46,355 --> 00:06:47,649
Kash, that is for the whole month.
122
00:06:47,649 --> 00:06:49,360
- A month.
- It's a month. Yeah.
123
00:06:52,576 --> 00:06:53,578
Well, then,
124
00:06:54,245 --> 00:07:00,216
I guess I need the afternoon off to return
a dozen concert-grade instruments.
125
00:07:01,886 --> 00:07:03,848
Clarks! With me.
126
00:07:09,610 --> 00:07:12,991
I want to start dating again,
but Kash is always just there.
127
00:07:13,492 --> 00:07:16,498
I feel bad coming onto someone
in front of him. It's a bit soon.
128
00:07:16,498 --> 00:07:18,753
Why don't you come
to Nora's stupid book launch?
129
00:07:18,753 --> 00:07:21,508
- Should be loads of stupid bachelors.
- That's perfect.
130
00:07:21,508 --> 00:07:24,180
I can flirt in total anonymity.
131
00:07:24,180 --> 00:07:26,309
Oh, I've missed watching you flirt.
It's adorable.
132
00:07:26,309 --> 00:07:27,813
Don't say that.
133
00:07:27,813 --> 00:07:29,357
I don't want to be adorable.
134
00:07:29,357 --> 00:07:30,569
I want to be...
135
00:07:32,446 --> 00:07:34,409
Hmm. Hmm.
136
00:07:34,409 --> 00:07:35,494
Hmm.
137
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:38,458
Carrie, you instantly panic
138
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:41,047
and start asking them
elaborate hypothetical questions.
139
00:07:41,047 --> 00:07:42,885
What if I just get the ladies out?
140
00:07:43,385 --> 00:07:44,512
[Jen] Yeah, that would work.
141
00:07:44,512 --> 00:07:46,601
[sighs] You'll have to wear beige though.
142
00:07:46,601 --> 00:07:50,316
I don't have anything beige because
my style icon isn't a fucking baguette.
143
00:07:50,316 --> 00:07:51,318
Oh, God. I hate her.
144
00:07:51,318 --> 00:07:53,280
Why don't you just tell Jizz
what Nora's actually like?
145
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,827
He totally buys her
butter wouldn't melt routine.
146
00:07:56,453 --> 00:07:59,209
He needs to see it for himself.
He needs to see her real side come out.
147
00:07:59,209 --> 00:08:00,712
Uh-huh.
148
00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:04,845
What if I goad it out of her?
149
00:08:04,845 --> 00:08:06,724
Push all her little bitch buttons.
150
00:08:06,724 --> 00:08:08,352
- You wouldn't.
- I would.
151
00:08:08,352 --> 00:08:10,941
I knew you would.
I was just saying that for effect.
152
00:08:10,941 --> 00:08:14,197
I'm going to be
a little fucking nightmare.
153
00:08:14,197 --> 00:08:17,746
["Antagonist" playing]
154
00:08:17,746 --> 00:08:21,044
[chattering]
155
00:08:23,465 --> 00:08:25,469
- [security] Are you on the guest list?
- We're on there.
156
00:08:26,179 --> 00:08:27,641
♪ I'm feeling like a riot ♪
157
00:08:28,559 --> 00:08:29,561
[shutter clicks]
158
00:08:29,561 --> 00:08:30,855
♪ If it's a cure to the cause,
Then we have to get violent ♪
159
00:08:30,855 --> 00:08:31,774
♪ I'm not into starting fires ♪
160
00:08:31,774 --> 00:08:34,404
♪ Whoever sparked the match
Broke perpetual silence ♪
161
00:08:34,404 --> 00:08:35,699
♪ Thunder and lightning ♪
162
00:08:35,699 --> 00:08:38,579
♪ Hear the sound of the dead choir's roar
Still fighting ♪
163
00:08:38,579 --> 00:08:40,667
♪ And no, I'm not frightened ♪
164
00:08:40,667 --> 00:08:41,836
[cigarette hisses]
165
00:08:41,836 --> 00:08:44,675
[music ends]
166
00:08:44,675 --> 00:08:47,556
- Jen, Rob, so glad you could make it!
- [people chattering]
167
00:08:48,181 --> 00:08:50,477
Me and Jizzlord
wouldn't miss it for the world.
168
00:08:51,354 --> 00:08:53,025
Where's Chris?
169
00:08:54,068 --> 00:08:56,031
Oh, did I misread the dress code?
170
00:08:56,031 --> 00:08:59,162
Oh, God. I hope you're not
really, really, really annoyed. Are you?
171
00:08:59,162 --> 00:09:01,416
Not at all. It's refreshing.
172
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:05,925
You look like Pat Butcher shat out
the teen whore section of River Island.
173
00:09:06,509 --> 00:09:09,140
Rob, you look very smart. [chuckles]
174
00:09:09,140 --> 00:09:11,896
- You're going to fit right in.
- Chris. Is he here?
175
00:09:12,521 --> 00:09:16,363
- Oh, I hope he's here.
- So, what is this book about then?
176
00:09:16,363 --> 00:09:19,285
It's about getting out
of the "poor me" mentality
177
00:09:19,285 --> 00:09:21,456
and just filling your life
with positivity.
178
00:09:21,456 --> 00:09:24,546
Now, we all have
the same 24 hours in a day. [chuckles]
179
00:09:24,546 --> 00:09:26,634
Ooh, £18.99. That's my girl.
180
00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:30,767
Desperate people will pay out the nose for
any old trash they think will fix them.
181
00:09:30,767 --> 00:09:34,232
Yeah, I mean you're paying way more for
that guy at The Clinic to get you a power.
182
00:09:36,654 --> 00:09:38,031
You don't have a power?
183
00:09:38,031 --> 00:09:41,121
Oh, it's not fun insulting you now.
Feels like a hate crime.
184
00:09:41,121 --> 00:09:46,464
- It's really not a big deal.
- You're so inspiring. Really.
185
00:09:47,049 --> 00:09:48,720
Must be so hard for you.
186
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:52,686
[sobs] The fact that you're so confident,
despite everything.
187
00:09:52,686 --> 00:09:54,188
Aw, oh, no. Don't cry.
188
00:09:54,188 --> 00:09:58,405
- Oh, you're so sweet worrying about Jen.
- [crying]
189
00:09:58,405 --> 00:10:02,204
- It's just so tragic, you know.
- It is tragic. A bit. Yeah, it is.
190
00:10:02,204 --> 00:10:05,210
- Aw, always so good at cuddles.
- Okay.
191
00:10:06,547 --> 00:10:08,926
[music resumes]
192
00:10:08,926 --> 00:10:11,431
[people chattering, laughing]
193
00:10:27,171 --> 00:10:28,173
[music stops]
194
00:10:28,173 --> 00:10:32,264
What section of IKEA would you use as
a defensive base in a zombie apocalypse?
195
00:10:34,352 --> 00:10:36,147
[sighs] What are you doing here?
196
00:10:36,147 --> 00:10:37,399
I'm in a creative rut.
197
00:10:37,399 --> 00:10:39,780
I need to fill the well
with new experiences
198
00:10:39,780 --> 00:10:42,034
- if I'm ever going to write my musical.
- Since when are you writing a musical?
199
00:10:42,034 --> 00:10:45,082
Well, I couldn't find the receipts
for the instruments.
200
00:10:45,082 --> 00:10:47,461
I've got to make my money back,
or I'll have to get another job.
201
00:10:47,461 --> 00:10:48,631
Why don't you just sell them?
202
00:10:48,631 --> 00:10:51,302
I'm already selling my soul to the Man.
203
00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:53,683
I need a project, or I'll wither.
204
00:10:53,683 --> 00:10:54,810
Well--
205
00:10:54,810 --> 00:10:58,275
- Are you going to be here all night?
- Yeah. I need to find inspiration.
206
00:10:59,068 --> 00:11:00,655
I need to find a muse.
207
00:11:01,615 --> 00:11:04,161
Now, I'm 4k in the hole, Carrie.
It needs to be a hit.
208
00:11:04,161 --> 00:11:05,414
[keyboard tinkles]
209
00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:08,420
♪ Man with glasses walking past ♪
210
00:11:08,420 --> 00:11:10,048
♪ Yes, you
Have you got a story? ♪
211
00:11:10,048 --> 00:11:11,134
Don't run!
212
00:11:12,052 --> 00:11:13,471
[sighs]
213
00:11:13,471 --> 00:11:15,017
What a waste.
214
00:11:15,017 --> 00:11:17,062
[beat plays]
215
00:11:24,786 --> 00:11:25,788
Chris.
216
00:11:26,289 --> 00:11:27,291
Chris!
217
00:11:27,291 --> 00:11:28,628
- Rob!
- Chris!
218
00:11:28,628 --> 00:11:30,130
- Buddy!
- [Jizzlord grunts]
219
00:11:30,130 --> 00:11:31,800
- [Chris laughs]
- Aah!
220
00:11:32,384 --> 00:11:34,472
- [Chris laughs] Yay!
- Chris.
221
00:11:35,057 --> 00:11:37,186
- Chris.
- We thought you were dead.
222
00:11:37,186 --> 00:11:40,067
I-I was like, that's such
a Rob thing to do, just bloody die.
223
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:41,277
That's so me!
224
00:11:41,277 --> 00:11:44,910
Nora called me soon as she saw you.
[bleep] hell, I almost [bleep] myself.
225
00:11:46,245 --> 00:11:47,247
Are my ears broken?
226
00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:51,297
Oh, yeah, she said
you-you've got amnesia or something.
227
00:11:51,297 --> 00:11:53,510
- Yeah.
- Power of censorship.
228
00:11:54,638 --> 00:11:55,723
Come on. Say a bad word.
229
00:11:55,723 --> 00:11:57,184
Rapist.
230
00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:58,813
No, like a swear word.
231
00:11:59,522 --> 00:12:01,109
Oh, I don't know any swear words.
232
00:12:02,319 --> 00:12:03,656
- That's fine.
- Paedophile.
233
00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:05,450
- No, that's still a--
- Right.
234
00:12:06,870 --> 00:12:10,962
♪ Girl with the normal hair ♪
235
00:12:10,962 --> 00:12:12,966
♪ She needs new hair ♪
236
00:12:14,093 --> 00:12:17,391
♪ But from where? ♪
237
00:12:17,391 --> 00:12:18,769
♪ Wig heist ♪
238
00:12:18,769 --> 00:12:21,734
♪ We're going on a wig heist
We-- ♪
239
00:12:21,734 --> 00:12:23,319
[people laughing]
240
00:12:23,319 --> 00:12:24,948
Stupid, Kash.
241
00:12:26,117 --> 00:12:27,369
It's already been done.
242
00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:30,333
Clock Man?
243
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,463
- Magnet Girl?
- Are you still vigilante-ing?
244
00:12:32,463 --> 00:12:35,678
- After you ran away in disgrace twice.
- Heroically relinquished power for love?
245
00:12:36,471 --> 00:12:38,224
Yeah-- Uh--
No, I'm not doing that anymore.
246
00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:40,938
Well, I guess giving up your dreams
is worth it if you have love.
247
00:12:40,938 --> 00:12:43,819
Yeah, actually, she, uh, dumped me
pretty much immediately after that.
248
00:12:43,819 --> 00:12:46,115
- Oh, no.
- No, I'm doing really well though.
249
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:48,996
What are you up to now?
250
00:12:49,664 --> 00:12:50,666
Silver service.
251
00:12:50,666 --> 00:12:52,461
Can't drop it. Look.
252
00:12:55,300 --> 00:12:56,595
Oh, no.
253
00:12:56,595 --> 00:12:58,974
Four years.
That's a long [bleep] time, that.
254
00:12:58,974 --> 00:13:01,020
- We got so much to talk about.
- So much!
255
00:13:04,068 --> 00:13:06,239
- Whee! Hey!
- Hey! [laughs]
256
00:13:06,782 --> 00:13:09,411
- Ah. [chuckles]
- [chuckles, sighs]
257
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:14,046
Uh, you're-you're back with Nora then?
258
00:13:14,046 --> 00:13:16,217
No, uh, she shares me with my girlfriend.
259
00:13:16,217 --> 00:13:19,724
[laughs] How'd an ugly
[bleep] like you get two women?
260
00:13:19,724 --> 00:13:21,269
Do girls like tiny [bleep] now?
261
00:13:21,269 --> 00:13:23,899
I-I thought friends
supported each others' penises.
262
00:13:24,693 --> 00:13:27,740
I'm just ribbing you, mate.
Uh, joshing, taking the [bleep].
263
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:30,537
We used to do it all the time.
It's a sign of affection.
264
00:13:30,537 --> 00:13:33,001
Oh, right.
265
00:13:33,001 --> 00:13:35,338
So, if you like someone,
you deeply insult them.
266
00:13:35,338 --> 00:13:36,633
Yeah.
267
00:13:36,633 --> 00:13:39,180
If I had to be you even for a second,
I'd kill myself.
268
00:13:41,517 --> 00:13:42,519
[chuckles]
269
00:13:44,816 --> 00:13:48,657
[punk music starts]
270
00:13:48,657 --> 00:13:50,786
- Ouch! Uh, there's someone sitting here.
- [music stops]
271
00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:52,497
Oh, well, I-I-I'm so sorry.
272
00:13:52,497 --> 00:13:55,128
No, it's my fault.
You can't go around being invisible
273
00:13:55,128 --> 00:13:57,466
and expect people not to sit on you
now and again.
274
00:13:57,466 --> 00:13:59,178
You can turn invisible?
275
00:13:59,178 --> 00:14:00,640
[invisible person] Uh-huh.
276
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:03,812
[gasps] Like no one here can see you.
277
00:14:03,812 --> 00:14:06,108
- [invisible person] Yeah.
- Not even ex-boyfriends
278
00:14:06,108 --> 00:14:07,444
who weren't even invited?
279
00:14:07,444 --> 00:14:10,993
- That's a very specific example, but yes.
- [chuckles]
280
00:14:10,993 --> 00:14:13,414
It's just a more honest way
to meet new people, you know?
281
00:14:19,970 --> 00:14:23,727
What's the biggest animal
you could kill with your bare hands?
282
00:14:23,727 --> 00:14:25,355
[invisible person laughs] Um, what?
283
00:14:25,355 --> 00:14:27,317
[Jen laughs]
284
00:14:27,317 --> 00:14:30,407
No, that's so true. That's
the funniest thing I've heard all night.
285
00:14:30,407 --> 00:14:33,371
So funny! [laughs]
286
00:14:33,371 --> 00:14:34,749
Look who I found. Hey.
287
00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:36,168
- [Nora grunts]
- Oh.
288
00:14:36,168 --> 00:14:37,839
Jen! I found him!
289
00:14:37,839 --> 00:14:39,551
Oh, ooh!
290
00:14:40,218 --> 00:14:41,763
Is this the girlfriend then?
291
00:14:41,763 --> 00:14:43,600
Enchantée.
292
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:48,401
Yes, I am the young,
unburdened, child-free, young girlfriend.
293
00:14:49,361 --> 00:14:50,447
Oh, don't mind if I do.
294
00:14:50,447 --> 00:14:52,075
I might get smashed
out of my mind tonight,
295
00:14:52,075 --> 00:14:54,371
'cause I don't have to
get up in the morning. [chuckles]
296
00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:57,169
Do you, Nora?
Do you have to get up in the morning?
297
00:14:57,169 --> 00:14:59,173
I'm very blessed to have a full schedule.
298
00:14:59,173 --> 00:15:01,553
Because I actually add value to society.
299
00:15:01,553 --> 00:15:03,974
[exclaims] Let's binge-drink together,
like friends do.
300
00:15:03,974 --> 00:15:08,191
I brought our beer.
301
00:15:08,191 --> 00:15:10,654
Spontaneity. That's the best bit.
302
00:15:10,654 --> 00:15:13,493
If I want to go clubbing
on a Tuesday, I can.
303
00:15:13,493 --> 00:15:16,123
Me and Jizz, we're out
all the time just having loads of fun.
304
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,002
When did you last have fun, Nora?
305
00:15:18,002 --> 00:15:20,048
On top of your boyfriend, I suppose?
306
00:15:20,048 --> 00:15:21,092
Ooh. [chuckles]
307
00:15:21,092 --> 00:15:23,304
I think that's
maybe out of date, mate.
308
00:15:23,931 --> 00:15:24,933
Friendship doesn't go off.
309
00:15:24,933 --> 00:15:27,270
I was actually
a lot of fun at university, so...
310
00:15:27,270 --> 00:15:30,694
[sighs] God, I bet your uni days
seem like so long ago now.
311
00:15:30,694 --> 00:15:32,949
I'm sure I'll feel the same
when I'm as old as you are.
312
00:15:32,949 --> 00:15:34,619
My skin age is 25.
313
00:15:34,619 --> 00:15:37,374
But for now, I can do whatever I want!
314
00:15:37,374 --> 00:15:38,543
Bottoms up!
315
00:15:54,158 --> 00:15:55,160
[sighs]
316
00:15:56,162 --> 00:15:58,625
Jen, are you okay?
317
00:15:59,543 --> 00:16:00,503
You look pale.
318
00:16:00,503 --> 00:16:01,673
Like dry dog shit.
319
00:16:01,673 --> 00:16:03,050
I'm having the time of my life.
320
00:16:05,639 --> 00:16:07,392
I'll take her to the ladies.
321
00:16:08,854 --> 00:16:10,649
You're a real evil genius, Jen.
322
00:16:10,649 --> 00:16:13,321
Spending the rest of the evening
in the bathroom puking your guts up
323
00:16:13,321 --> 00:16:15,158
is really sticking it to me.
324
00:16:16,703 --> 00:16:19,291
- I'm not gonna get sick in the bathroom.
- Don't you fucking dare.
325
00:16:19,291 --> 00:16:20,501
- I'm gonna do it.
- Don't do it.
326
00:16:20,501 --> 00:16:22,757
- I'm gonna do it.
- Don't you do it, you greasy slut!
327
00:16:22,757 --> 00:16:24,509
[retches]
328
00:16:24,509 --> 00:16:26,055
Jen, you [bleep]...
329
00:16:27,515 --> 00:16:29,269
[chuckles] ...poor thing.
330
00:16:29,771 --> 00:16:31,357
Are you okay? [chuckles]
331
00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:33,612
- Oh, dear.
- [Jen pants]
332
00:16:33,612 --> 00:16:36,367
Aren't you mad about your books?
Your sicky books?
333
00:16:37,327 --> 00:16:39,874
Your health is much more important.
334
00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:42,713
Stop it, all right? You are not
going to ruin this evening for me.
335
00:16:42,713 --> 00:16:44,717
Do you know how much work
I put into this book?
336
00:16:44,717 --> 00:16:47,598
- [Jen] Pfft, anyone can write a book.
- Well, you haven't.
337
00:16:47,598 --> 00:16:50,646
- How do you know?
- [Nora] Um, dogs can't write books.
338
00:16:50,646 --> 00:16:53,192
- I've written a book.
- All right. Read it then.
339
00:16:53,192 --> 00:16:56,156
After our reading,
read an extract of your book.
340
00:16:57,033 --> 00:16:58,035
- I will.
- Fine.
341
00:16:58,035 --> 00:16:59,789
- Good.
- Can't wait for you to read nothing.
342
00:16:59,789 --> 00:17:01,333
Can't wait to read your obituary.
343
00:17:01,333 --> 00:17:02,712
You--
344
00:17:02,712 --> 00:17:03,880
Oh, my God. Kiss.
345
00:17:08,180 --> 00:17:10,310
[both laughing]
346
00:17:10,310 --> 00:17:13,524
So, Gavin, the thing is,
for me, I'm a gel pen kind of girl.
347
00:17:13,524 --> 00:17:16,781
But what I really need to know is
pencils or pens for you?
348
00:17:16,781 --> 00:17:18,492
Pencils. I love a good 4B.
349
00:17:18,492 --> 00:17:20,622
- Really? Stop it.
- [Gavin] Mm-hmm.
350
00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:23,419
I know, I know. I'm a drama queen.
351
00:17:23,419 --> 00:17:28,179
- [laughs] I'm having such a nice time.
- [Gavin laughs] Yeah. Oh, man.
352
00:17:30,475 --> 00:17:31,728
Carrie?
353
00:17:31,728 --> 00:17:32,813
- Carrie?
- Hmm?
354
00:17:32,813 --> 00:17:34,817
Oh, hi. Sorry. You spaced out a bit.
355
00:17:34,817 --> 00:17:37,740
It was like you were looking
right through me. [laughs]
356
00:17:37,740 --> 00:17:38,950
Sorry. [laughs]
357
00:17:38,950 --> 00:17:43,167
Bloody Kash. I can't believe he's just
flirting with her out in the open,
358
00:17:43,167 --> 00:17:44,962
and now I look like a total loner.
359
00:17:45,547 --> 00:17:47,133
Should I ask Gavin to turn visible?
360
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:48,427
[inhales]
361
00:17:48,427 --> 00:17:49,513
It's risky.
362
00:17:49,513 --> 00:17:51,726
Every break-up has a winner and a loser.
363
00:17:51,726 --> 00:17:56,026
And that is decided by a very complex
hierarchical matrix of social values.
364
00:17:56,527 --> 00:17:58,531
So, what you have to
seriously consider is...
365
00:18:00,118 --> 00:18:01,537
What if he's an uggo?
366
00:18:02,288 --> 00:18:05,461
Jennifer Regan.
Are you really that shallow?
367
00:18:05,461 --> 00:18:06,840
Someone has to be.
368
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,721
Can you imagine a world where
everyone loved who they are on the inside?
369
00:18:09,721 --> 00:18:11,933
- We would all look like shit.
- I'm gonna take the risk.
370
00:18:11,933 --> 00:18:12,977
You're a braver woman than I.
371
00:18:12,977 --> 00:18:16,358
[sighs] Okay, visible flirting.
You can do this.
372
00:18:16,358 --> 00:18:17,485
[sighs] Okay, come on.
373
00:18:18,529 --> 00:18:20,450
Focus. Write something.
No procrastinating.
374
00:18:22,580 --> 00:18:23,790
Hi.
375
00:18:23,790 --> 00:18:25,711
Oh, my God! Tell me everything.
How's it going?
376
00:18:25,711 --> 00:18:27,673
What's Chris like?
Are you best mates again?
377
00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:29,761
I don't think I'm mating
with him correctly.
378
00:18:29,761 --> 00:18:31,346
Everything feels off.
379
00:18:31,346 --> 00:18:34,144
Why don't you try to reconnect with him
over the dumb shit you both love?
380
00:18:34,144 --> 00:18:36,691
Like the wrestling. Men use hobbies
to justify speaking to each other.
381
00:18:36,691 --> 00:18:39,362
The wrestling. Yeah, that makes sense.
382
00:18:39,362 --> 00:18:40,699
I love your big brain.
383
00:18:41,785 --> 00:18:42,953
Go get him.
384
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:46,711
[groans]
385
00:18:47,504 --> 00:18:49,090
Kash, help me.
386
00:18:49,090 --> 00:18:51,136
I need to write a book
in the next 15 minutes.
387
00:18:51,136 --> 00:18:52,890
You've got a vivid imagination.
Give me some ideas.
388
00:18:52,890 --> 00:18:54,434
Are you trying to hurt me?
389
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,396
He's having an artist crisis.
I've seen this before.
390
00:18:56,396 --> 00:18:58,568
I have no muse.
391
00:18:58,568 --> 00:19:01,616
Why don't you base your musical
on some of my fan fiction?
392
00:19:01,616 --> 00:19:02,868
You write fan fiction?
393
00:19:02,868 --> 00:19:03,912
Uh, yeah.
394
00:19:03,912 --> 00:19:05,833
Like gross sex fan fiction?
395
00:19:05,833 --> 00:19:09,757
No, there's character development
and themes and-- Yeah, no, it's gross.
396
00:19:09,757 --> 00:19:11,845
That would really ruin the evening,
wouldn't it?
397
00:19:11,845 --> 00:19:14,057
Megan, how would you like
for your work to be read out
398
00:19:14,057 --> 00:19:17,188
to a room full of publishing
industry professionals?
399
00:19:17,188 --> 00:19:18,733
[gasps] Yeah.
400
00:19:19,401 --> 00:19:20,403
Yeah?
401
00:19:20,403 --> 00:19:23,117
- [dance music playing in distance]
- [people chattering in distance]
402
00:19:23,117 --> 00:19:24,829
[both laughing]
403
00:19:24,829 --> 00:19:27,877
[Gavin] Yes, but the cool thing
about the membership
404
00:19:27,877 --> 00:19:29,462
is that it has the best points
to cash value
405
00:19:29,462 --> 00:19:31,258
rewards system out of any of the Big 4.
406
00:19:31,258 --> 00:19:33,597
- [gasps] Oh.
- [Gavin chuckles]
407
00:19:34,849 --> 00:19:37,563
I want to see you.
408
00:19:37,563 --> 00:19:38,815
Why?
409
00:19:38,815 --> 00:19:40,861
Just, uh, you know, fun.
410
00:19:41,403 --> 00:19:42,405
Just for fun.
411
00:19:42,405 --> 00:19:44,367
Yeah, I always think
it's a good idea to let girls
412
00:19:44,367 --> 00:19:46,748
fall in love with my personality
before I, um--
413
00:19:46,748 --> 00:19:50,797
Gavin, I-I already know
what a beautiful soul you have.
414
00:19:50,797 --> 00:19:54,179
Okay. For you, Carrie. I'll do it for you.
415
00:19:54,179 --> 00:19:55,599
- Hmm. All right Wow.
- Really?
416
00:19:58,520 --> 00:19:59,982
- Wait, wait. Uh--
- [Gavin] Um, what?
417
00:19:59,982 --> 00:20:01,401
- Just, um--
- What's wrong?
418
00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:04,491
What if we go somewhere
a little quieter first,
419
00:20:05,034 --> 00:20:06,078
and you show me there?
420
00:20:06,078 --> 00:20:07,998
Oh, my God. You're worried I'm ugly.
421
00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:09,459
What? No. What? No. What? [chuckles]
422
00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:11,673
You know,
I really thought you were different.
423
00:20:11,673 --> 00:20:13,760
- I am.
- Why does this always happen?
424
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,304
- No. That's really not--
- I'm so stupid.
425
00:20:15,304 --> 00:20:16,724
Please keep your voice down.
426
00:20:16,724 --> 00:20:18,185
I'm always falling for it.
427
00:20:19,270 --> 00:20:21,316
- Shh. Shh.
- [grunts]
428
00:20:21,316 --> 00:20:23,905
I'm gonna die alone.
There's no true love for Gavin.
429
00:20:23,905 --> 00:20:26,243
- Shh. There, there.
- 'Cause he's naive. It's all about looks!
430
00:20:26,243 --> 00:20:28,080
- Shh. Shh, shh, shh.
- [Gavin] Well, that's it.
431
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:31,336
Gavin, Gavin, you're all right, Gavin.
You are all right.
432
00:20:31,336 --> 00:20:34,342
- [Kash] You having a breakdown?
- Uh, no. It's fine.
433
00:20:34,342 --> 00:20:35,261
You can go now.
434
00:20:35,261 --> 00:20:37,098
[Gavin] If a girl asks
to see what you look like,
435
00:20:37,098 --> 00:20:39,477
- is it because she's worried you're ugly?
- Yeah, a hundred per cent.
436
00:20:39,477 --> 00:20:40,856
[Gavin] Yeah, I knew it.
437
00:20:40,856 --> 00:20:43,235
- No, no. That's really not it.
- [Gavin] You know, you're shallow.
438
00:20:43,235 --> 00:20:45,281
And you're self-obsessed
just like everybody else.
439
00:20:45,281 --> 00:20:47,160
- Hey!
- [Gavin] I'm over here.
440
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:50,667
Hey! That woman is the least
self-obsessed person I've ever met.
441
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:53,757
When we were together, she had to put up
with all my crazy schemes,
442
00:20:53,757 --> 00:20:57,848
and what I now know to be highly illegal,
extra-judicial crime fighting.
443
00:20:57,848 --> 00:21:01,773
I mean,
I've been a constant source of drama.
444
00:21:02,941 --> 00:21:04,360
Oh, my muse!
445
00:21:06,073 --> 00:21:07,200
I've found my muse!
446
00:21:08,285 --> 00:21:11,458
Of course, it's her.
You have been flirting with her all night.
447
00:21:11,458 --> 00:21:13,838
What? No, it's me.
448
00:21:13,838 --> 00:21:15,550
I am my own muse.
449
00:21:15,550 --> 00:21:17,930
Yeah, if I was flirting,
believe me, you'd know it.
450
00:21:17,930 --> 00:21:20,434
- Oh.
- Vigilante The Musical.
451
00:21:20,434 --> 00:21:23,315
Written, produced,
directed by and starring Kash Varma.
452
00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:24,652
[Carrie] Well, uh, Gavin?
453
00:21:24,652 --> 00:21:26,446
We could still go out. Gavin?
454
00:21:26,446 --> 00:21:29,285
Uh, I don't care if you're ugly. Gavin?
455
00:21:29,285 --> 00:21:30,622
I think he left.
456
00:21:30,622 --> 00:21:35,381
Poor guy. It cannot be easy
being so hideously ugly.
457
00:21:35,381 --> 00:21:36,551
Hmm.
458
00:21:36,551 --> 00:21:39,305
- [cell phone rings]
- [exhales]
459
00:21:40,015 --> 00:21:41,518
- [Gavin] Mum?
- [Gavin's Mum] Gavin?
460
00:21:41,518 --> 00:21:44,107
- Yeah, it happened again.
- [Gavin's Mum] Aw, one day you'll find
461
00:21:44,107 --> 00:21:45,986
a girl who will love you
for more than just your looks.
462
00:21:45,986 --> 00:21:47,363
I'm not a piece of meat.
463
00:21:47,363 --> 00:21:48,700
[Gavin's Mum] I know, pet.
464
00:21:48,700 --> 00:21:50,161
- I know.
- [sighs]
465
00:21:50,161 --> 00:21:52,248
- Thanks, Mum.
- [Gavin's Mum] Bye, love.
466
00:21:55,296 --> 00:21:58,720
[Nora] And I realised in that moment,
467
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:02,226
we are all responsible
for our own happiness.
468
00:22:02,226 --> 00:22:05,107
You can't blame anyone else
for your failings.
469
00:22:05,107 --> 00:22:06,861
- Not bosses, parents, missing hus...
- [panting]
470
00:22:06,861 --> 00:22:08,907
Oh, Jesus. I don't think I can read this.
471
00:22:08,907 --> 00:22:10,492
There's so many orifices and--
472
00:22:10,492 --> 00:22:12,121
God, the things
that are happening to them.
473
00:22:12,121 --> 00:22:14,000
Remember, it is all for Jizz.
474
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,502
He's got to see Nora's true colours.
475
00:22:15,502 --> 00:22:16,547
Shh.
476
00:22:16,547 --> 00:22:20,262
If your goals don't scare you,
then you're not dreaming big enough.
477
00:22:20,262 --> 00:22:23,268
You should be waking up
every day thinking,
478
00:22:23,268 --> 00:22:25,732
-"How can I challenge myself today?"
- Are you ready to rumble?
479
00:22:25,732 --> 00:22:27,068
- [Nora] Because when you...
- What?
480
00:22:27,068 --> 00:22:28,696
[whispering] Are you ready to rumble?
481
00:22:28,696 --> 00:22:30,491
- I don't know what you're-- [grunts]
- [grunts]
482
00:22:30,491 --> 00:22:31,744
What're you doing?
483
00:22:31,744 --> 00:22:35,167
- Anxiety isn't... a disorder.
- [Chris, Jizzlord grunting]
484
00:22:35,167 --> 00:22:36,837
[Nora] It's your heart's
way of telling you...
485
00:22:36,837 --> 00:22:39,342
[grunting, groaning]
486
00:22:39,342 --> 00:22:40,553
Embrace the fear.
487
00:22:41,179 --> 00:22:43,851
- I used to be afraid.
- [Jizzlord] Co-operate with my smack down!
488
00:22:43,851 --> 00:22:45,104
[Chris grunts]
489
00:22:45,647 --> 00:22:47,358
- Do you feel the heat?
- [ripping]
490
00:22:47,358 --> 00:22:49,028
[Nora continues chattering]
491
00:22:49,028 --> 00:22:50,657
[crowd gasps, murmurs]
492
00:22:50,657 --> 00:22:51,867
Sorry, sorry.
493
00:22:52,953 --> 00:22:54,205
Continue.
494
00:22:54,205 --> 00:22:56,334
- I demanded it.
- From the ropes!
495
00:22:56,334 --> 00:22:57,754
- I--
- [Chris yelps]
496
00:22:58,881 --> 00:22:59,883
Whoo!
497
00:23:01,011 --> 00:23:03,265
[choking] Why are you doing this?
498
00:23:03,265 --> 00:23:05,185
- Old times! Wrestling buddies.
- [grunts]
499
00:23:05,185 --> 00:23:07,858
- [all gasp, exclaim]
- [Chris] Get off me, you weirdo!
500
00:23:07,858 --> 00:23:10,279
[grunts, coughs]
501
00:23:10,279 --> 00:23:12,617
[pants] Do you wanna hang out tomorrow?
502
00:23:12,617 --> 00:23:14,913
[panting]
503
00:23:14,913 --> 00:23:17,043
I think I'm busy tomorrow.
504
00:23:17,043 --> 00:23:18,588
Okay. Day after then.
505
00:23:18,588 --> 00:23:19,798
I think I'm still busy.
506
00:23:19,798 --> 00:23:20,884
How 'bout the day after that?
507
00:23:20,884 --> 00:23:23,973
Maybe we shouldn't
be best friends anymore.
508
00:23:28,315 --> 00:23:30,695
[pants, sighs]
509
00:23:32,239 --> 00:23:33,910
[Chris coughs]
510
00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:38,418
[Jen] Hey, hey.
511
00:23:43,095 --> 00:23:46,184
Oh, God, Nora.
This must be so embarrassing for you.
512
00:23:46,769 --> 00:23:48,648
Please do tell him
how much he's ruined your big night.
513
00:23:48,648 --> 00:23:50,109
Yeah? Don't hold back.
514
00:23:50,109 --> 00:23:51,194
[chuckles]
515
00:23:52,113 --> 00:23:55,494
Not at all. He has been through a lot.
516
00:23:55,494 --> 00:24:00,547
He's adjusting,
and I will always support him. [cries]
517
00:24:00,547 --> 00:24:02,717
[crowd] Aw. [applauds]
518
00:24:04,555 --> 00:24:08,395
Um, would you like
to do your reading now, Jen?
519
00:24:08,395 --> 00:24:11,902
Or are you a tubby little liar?
520
00:24:11,902 --> 00:24:13,363
Yes. Yes, I would.
521
00:24:16,161 --> 00:24:17,706
Jen Regan, everyone.
522
00:24:18,331 --> 00:24:20,169
- Oh--
- [Carrie] Whoo!
523
00:24:20,169 --> 00:24:22,549
This is called Bonded in Brine.
524
00:24:26,389 --> 00:24:29,103
"The waves crashed on the sullen rocks.
525
00:24:29,103 --> 00:24:31,567
'Another day by the sea',
526
00:24:31,567 --> 00:24:34,071
growled the lighthouse keeper
in his brain.
527
00:24:34,071 --> 00:24:37,704
But, lo! What's that on the rocks?
A man? A fish?
528
00:24:38,246 --> 00:24:40,375
No. A fishman."
529
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:43,173
I'm sorry you and Chris didn't reconnect.
530
00:24:43,173 --> 00:24:45,260
I ruined it. I ruin everything.
531
00:24:45,260 --> 00:24:47,473
I don't think that was your fault.
It's-- [sighs]
532
00:24:47,473 --> 00:24:48,643
Hmm. What do you mean?
533
00:24:48,643 --> 00:24:50,312
Oh, ignore me. It-It's nothing.
534
00:24:50,312 --> 00:24:51,941
No, tell me. I want to fit in.
535
00:24:51,941 --> 00:24:53,736
"From the waist up, a beautiful boy.
536
00:24:53,736 --> 00:24:57,827
But the waist down,
a slab of scaly muscle.
537
00:24:57,827 --> 00:24:58,913
A merman.
538
00:25:00,792 --> 00:25:01,919
Crash!
539
00:25:01,919 --> 00:25:04,591
The wet and desperate tide
was rushing in."
540
00:25:04,591 --> 00:25:06,762
I'm so grateful for her taking you in.
541
00:25:06,762 --> 00:25:08,891
She did a great job
getting you back on your feet.
542
00:25:08,891 --> 00:25:11,271
But maybe she isn't the best role model.
543
00:25:11,271 --> 00:25:13,693
"The only shelter he could find,
a rocky cove.
544
00:25:13,693 --> 00:25:15,655
'A hole', thought the fisherman."
545
00:25:15,655 --> 00:25:17,701
I mean, look around you.
546
00:25:17,701 --> 00:25:18,911
Who's causing a scene?
547
00:25:18,911 --> 00:25:20,497
"The lighthouse keeper groaned
548
00:25:20,497 --> 00:25:24,213
when a clammy palm
touched his exposed forearm."
549
00:25:24,213 --> 00:25:25,925
Is it always like this
when you're together?
550
00:25:25,925 --> 00:25:27,011
No, no.
551
00:25:27,011 --> 00:25:30,017
I mean, actually, yeah, it kind of is.
552
00:25:30,017 --> 00:25:33,106
But isn't everyone getting into
weird schemes and stealing dogs?
553
00:25:33,106 --> 00:25:35,820
"The lighthouse keeper
took in his scaly length."
554
00:25:35,820 --> 00:25:40,997
Most people just have a nice, quiet life
with their families and their friends.
555
00:25:40,997 --> 00:25:44,755
No chaos. No feeling like an outsider.
556
00:25:44,755 --> 00:25:46,299
"'You saved me.
557
00:25:47,217 --> 00:25:48,554
How can I repay you?'"
558
00:25:48,554 --> 00:25:50,725
And you think Jen's the reason
I can't have that.
559
00:25:50,725 --> 00:25:52,478
"'There's only one way I can think of.'"
560
00:25:52,478 --> 00:25:55,150
Oh, I didn't even think about that.
561
00:25:55,150 --> 00:25:57,572
It's something to consider, isn't it?
562
00:25:57,572 --> 00:26:01,789
"The merman flipped onto
his briny belly and reached back to"...
563
00:26:03,500 --> 00:26:08,426
- [attendee] Disgusting.
- [crowd murmurs]
564
00:26:08,426 --> 00:26:13,353
- [feedback on microphone]
-"'Oh, [bleep]! Oh, [bleep] me, Poseidon!
565
00:26:13,353 --> 00:26:17,403
Stick your filthy fish [bleep]
into my filthy [bleep] hole.
566
00:26:17,403 --> 00:26:21,119
Fill me up with your eggs
like the salty [bleep] I am!'"
567
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:22,079
[audience gasping]
568
00:26:22,079 --> 00:26:23,666
Is Jen a bad influence?
569
00:26:24,291 --> 00:26:30,429
"And nothing ever compared
to the allure of that briny fish cock!"
570
00:26:30,429 --> 00:26:32,934
[scattered whispering]
571
00:26:32,934 --> 00:26:34,855
Oh, that guy must have left then.
572
00:26:36,567 --> 00:26:40,616
"But the sea gets what the sea wants.
573
00:26:42,411 --> 00:26:43,789
The end".
574
00:26:43,789 --> 00:26:46,085
[Nora] Oh, Jen. Is that all you've got?
575
00:26:47,129 --> 00:26:48,924
That was great, Jen.
576
00:26:48,924 --> 00:26:52,139
Avant-garde, sex-positive. I loved it.
577
00:26:52,139 --> 00:26:55,479
She can't hear this,
but she hasn't got a power, poor thing.
578
00:26:55,479 --> 00:26:57,817
So let's give her a pity clap.
579
00:26:57,817 --> 00:27:01,115
[cheers, applause]
580
00:27:02,493 --> 00:27:03,621
[Megan] Whoo!
581
00:27:04,330 --> 00:27:05,875
That was a waste of time.
582
00:27:05,875 --> 00:27:06,960
Absolutely mortified.
583
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,507
You can always come home, Rob.
584
00:27:13,223 --> 00:27:14,976
["I'm That Bitch" playing]
585
00:27:18,901 --> 00:27:21,698
["You Sexy Thing" playing]
586
00:27:24,579 --> 00:27:26,667
[kissing]
587
00:27:43,366 --> 00:27:45,621
[moans] Gavin.
588
00:27:47,416 --> 00:27:49,336
[music continues]