1 00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:10,985 [stammers] Pay attention to the film. You'll miss the scary bits. 2 00:00:11,469 --> 00:00:14,848 I have to remember to take Alfie to flute on Tuesdays and Mandarin on Wednesdays. 3 00:00:14,931 --> 00:00:16,731 I have to figure out what capital gains tax is 4 00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:19,352 and why this man is so mad at me for not paying it. 5 00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:23,023 And then, I have to wash my clothes, and dry my clothes, and wear my clothes, 6 00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:24,941 and then wash them again, and it never ends. 7 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:28,445 So frankly, Jen, the dry Egyptian man is the least of my worries. 8 00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:29,904 [Kash screams] Look! 9 00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:32,824 Yeah, this one's a bit naff anyway. I want a proper scare. 10 00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:35,118 - [phone rings] - [all scream] 11 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:40,248 [cell phone buzzes] 12 00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:43,877 [breathes heavily] 13 00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:51,509 [Martin] Do you know what it feels like to be dead? [laughs] 14 00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:54,637 Oh! Hi, Dad. Forgot it was Wednesday. We're having a scary movie marathon. 15 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,307 - Can I call you back? - [Carrie] Wait for me. I'm almost home. 16 00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:58,767 Okay. Happy Halloween. 17 00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,810 [Martin] Mmm. Happy Halloween, pet. 18 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:05,565 Can't you do that in private? It's so morbid. 19 00:01:05,648 --> 00:01:07,734 It's not my fault you're a massive pussy. No offence. 20 00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:08,860 I am not a pussy. 21 00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:10,862 Okay. 22 00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:18,078 Put your hand in this box. 23 00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:19,829 Why? What's in it? 24 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,247 Oh, are you afraid? 25 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:29,464 [sighs] 26 00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:36,721 [breathes shakily] 27 00:01:40,558 --> 00:01:42,060 [breathes shakily] 28 00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:46,022 [groans, gulps] 29 00:01:48,566 --> 00:01:50,694 You know what? I don't need to prove anything to you. 30 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,237 - Oh, okay. - So, yeah. 31 00:01:53,571 --> 00:01:54,611 Oh, there's a rat in here. 32 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:55,657 - What? - What? 33 00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:58,785 - [screams] - [Kash yells] Oh, no! 34 00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:00,078 Why would you do that? 35 00:02:00,161 --> 00:02:03,039 - [screams] I thought it was empty! - I fucking hate Halloween! 36 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:11,381 [Jizzlord] No, I wasn't evading tax. Yeah, Hercule. Four years. 37 00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,675 No, sir, I would never take your mick. 38 00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:14,843 [mutters indistinctly] 39 00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:17,178 [sighs] Well, I didn't have thumbs, 40 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,681 and you have to consider I was very, very small. 41 00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:20,765 Hello? 42 00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:23,435 [sighs] 43 00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:25,478 - When's it get scary? - [Jen] Soon. 44 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,605 They haven't introduced the creature yet. 45 00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:32,652 - [screams] - [thunderclap] 46 00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:35,196 [whimpers] 47 00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:42,120 - [thunderclap] - [screams] A crone! 48 00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:43,496 [Carrie] It's just me! [pants] 49 00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,583 [pants] Oh. It's just me. 50 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,127 [grunts] Did you just call me a crone? 51 00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:50,670 Is that the word I used? 52 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,339 [Carrie sighs, sniffs] 53 00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:54,841 I'm not that frumpy, am I? 54 00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:58,595 Look, Carrie, you have been given a gift. You're single on Halloween. 55 00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:00,573 It's the perfect time to step out of your comfort zone. 56 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,098 There's so many options. 57 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:05,560 Classic slut, topical slut, scary slut, slut slut. 58 00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,562 Can I be a slut on Halloween? 59 00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:09,165 Sluts don't have to pay capital gains tax, do they? 60 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,107 Unfortunately, sluts do have to pay tax. 61 00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:13,777 [groans] 62 00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:17,155 - What if I've forgotten how to do it? - Do what? 63 00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:19,491 Interact with men with a view to sex in the future? 64 00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:20,926 Don't phrase it like that to begin with. 65 00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:23,203 [sighs] I've got so comfortable with Kash, 66 00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:27,165 I've forgotten how to be sexy. 67 00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:30,418 Well, it's like riding a seductive bike. It'll come back to you. 68 00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:35,465 And if it doesn't, you know, just be yourself. 69 00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:40,345 [Dahlia] And you fell in love with me, but I can hardly blame you. 70 00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:44,015 All men do. I'm irresistible. 71 00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,572 [Dahlia] I'm sorry for what I did. 72 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:00,782 [gasps] 73 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,369 And I'd do it all over again if I had to. 74 00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:06,830 And you want me to what again, darling? 75 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,582 [Carrie] Uh, teach me how to be sexy? 76 00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:13,712 Or just, I guess, um, sex adjacent. Semi-skimmed. That's fine. 77 00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:16,798 [Dahlia] Well, you came to the right place, dollface. 78 00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:20,510 They used to say if it was in Hollywood and breathed, 79 00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:24,931 I'd be under it, over it... [whispering]...and inside it. 80 00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:28,518 Fingering, darling. 81 00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:33,189 Now, listen here, pretend to fall over. 82 00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:37,902 Oops. And grab on to his johnson for support. [moans] 83 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:42,949 Oh, no. I seem to have forgotten my brassiere. 84 00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:47,120 Hold these for me, would ya? [grunts] 85 00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:48,496 [exhales deeply] 86 00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:50,340 If you don't know what to do with your hands, 87 00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:53,376 just put them out like this and shake your tushy. 88 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:56,504 Always look like you're listening, even when you're not. 89 00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:57,422 Mm-hmm. 90 00:04:57,505 --> 00:05:00,133 Laugh at everything they say, even if it ain't funny. 91 00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:01,217 [laughs] 92 00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:05,221 Pretend you're illiterate and get them to read the menu to you. 93 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,931 Men love a dum-dum. 94 00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,016 [groans] 95 00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:11,144 [Carrie] Uh... When did we make a martini? 96 00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:12,645 [Dahlia swallows, sighs] 97 00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:16,107 Do keep up, darling, or I'll leave you behind. 98 00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:17,317 Oh. 99 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,297 [George] "Times your Nan called you fat." Do you want that for the body image shelf, 100 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,840 or shall I keep it for the family trauma wing? 101 00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,157 Hit me. 102 00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:26,701 [sighs] Old cow. 103 00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:28,161 [sighs] 104 00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:35,460 Hmm. I think I found something interesting. 105 00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,815 [George] They're numbered like part of a series. 106 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,925 - You more afraid of cancer or bears? - Bears. 107 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,219 I have my reasons. 108 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:45,804 The numbers are a list. 109 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,074 If we find number one, we'll find what you're most afraid of in life. 110 00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:50,258 And that could be what's holding me back from my power? 111 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,769 Try and find the rest. Maybe there's a horror section. 112 00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:55,021 Or would they be in something scary-looking? 113 00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:57,982 No offence, your subconscious isn't subtle. There's usually a sign. 114 00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,067 [whispering] Okay. 115 00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:04,155 [screaming] 116 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:06,783 [evil laughing] 117 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:08,785 I think I found it. [sighs] 118 00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:14,582 And that is why you never go on a river cruise without your diaphragm. 119 00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:22,340 [sighs] 120 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,224 [gasps] 121 00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,601 [sighs] 122 00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:38,690 Why, look I'm... [pants] 123 00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:41,985 I'm young and beautiful. 124 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:44,029 [Carrie] Oh, uh, thank you. I... 125 00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:46,740 [Dahlia] So smooth and tight. 126 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,034 [Carrie] Uh, yeah. 127 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:52,746 Well, thank you for your tips. I feel much better about it all. 128 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,164 [Dahlia] Wait. No. 129 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,334 - [stammers] I don't wanna go. - [inhales deeply] 130 00:06:58,335 --> 00:06:59,544 [exhales deeply] 131 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,301 [hip-hop plays] 132 00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:11,264 ♪ Well, I'm feelin' kinda funny 'Cause life is like a game ♪ 133 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,682 ♪ Facin' like an enemy ♪ 134 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:15,101 [sips, gulps, groans] 135 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:17,562 ♪ That's just who I... That's just who I am ♪ 136 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,565 5,679. 137 00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:23,502 "What if there is a snake in the toilet, and I don't notice, and I sit down, 138 00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:26,237 and the snake goes up my bum and then there's a snake up my bum?" 139 00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:27,947 Yep. [sighs] 140 00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,671 Honestly, I thought that would be higher. 141 00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,497 Is that number one? What is it? 142 00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:39,250 Intimacy. You're afraid of intimacy. 143 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:42,087 Okay, have we double-checked "Snake in the bum" 144 00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,690 - because that's not at all... - I'm going to give you some homework. 145 00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,108 Before you come in to see me next week, 146 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:49,219 I want you to tell one person in your life you love them. 147 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,303 [scoffs] 148 00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:53,598 I want you to say it without qualification, without minimising it, 149 00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:54,922 without turning it into a joke. 150 00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:57,102 It could bring us closer to your power. 151 00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,020 Can you do that for me? 152 00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,315 Course. Easy. 153 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:03,399 [rock plays] 154 00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:05,944 [breathing deeply] 155 00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:08,947 [inhales deeply] Okay. 156 00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:11,908 Okay. Okay, just do it. 157 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,535 Hey. Hey. 158 00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:15,721 I need to tell you something while maintaining eye contact, 159 00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,205 so don't even think about blinking. 160 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,583 I... [breathes shakily] 161 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,336 What are you doing? 162 00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:24,796 Oh, um. 163 00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,425 People get to be other things on Halloween, right? 164 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,511 - Yes. - So, I'm gonna be a cat. 165 00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:34,848 Cats don't have responsibilities. Cats don't have to pay taxes, 166 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:37,308 or raise children, or brush their teeth every week. 167 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,392 I'm sorry, week? 168 00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:41,896 - See you in the morning. - [stammers] Wait! Um, before you go, um... 169 00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:48,862 Hey. So, I, uh, just wanted to let you know... 170 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:54,951 You know... [stammers] ...I really, like, appreciate you and... 171 00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:01,958 Pfft! I fucking love ya, bro! [laughs] 172 00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,628 Did you just say you love me? 173 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:08,340 [scoffs] Maybe, I don't know. What are you, the love police? 174 00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,175 Ever heard of ACAB, pig? 175 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:12,677 [farts] Ha! That's what you sound like, mate. 176 00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,225 [sighs] 177 00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:22,520 [groans] 178 00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,398 [sighs] 179 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,036 [exhales sharply, chews] 180 00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:40,997 [groans] 181 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,709 [hip-hop plays] I'ma break it down for you 182 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:52,092 [meows, purrs] 183 00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,311 Mom, I love you. 184 00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:05,355 Mother, I have come to love you. 185 00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,816 Mum, you gave me life. I love you. 186 00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:09,984 - Okay. - [cell phone rings] 187 00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:12,612 Please leave a message for... 188 00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:13,923 - You fucking bitch! - [Mary] Hello. 189 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,466 You don't have anything better to be doing. 190 00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:17,134 - This is Mary Regan. - I hope you get dementia! 191 00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:19,327 Mum! [chuckles] Mother. Mama. 192 00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:23,081 I was just calling to say I love you. Like children do. I love you so much. 193 00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:25,500 I just want you to know that. Love, love, love! 194 00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:32,173 [Ange] One in, one out, you animals! 195 00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,175 [sighs] 196 00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:39,097 Move, losers. 197 00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:44,352 [smacks lips, sighs] 198 00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:46,312 Okay. Sexy. 199 00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:53,778 [sighs] 200 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,615 [groans] 201 00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:00,785 [inhales] 202 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,542 [breathes heavily] 203 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,589 [Dahlia] Hello again, darling. [moans] 204 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,090 [Carrie] I didn't invite you. 205 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,009 [Dahlia] Aw, spoilsport. 206 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,887 Can't a girl have a little fun? 207 00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:20,930 - [groans] - [Dahlia breathing heavily] 208 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,223 [gasping] 209 00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:24,142 - [knocks on door] - [Kash] You gonna be long? 210 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,936 [Carrie gasps, stammers] Two minutes. 211 00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:28,646 [sighs] 212 00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:30,774 [groans, pants] 213 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,734 [Dahlia] Is that a man I hear? 214 00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,402 [Carrie grunts] Don't you dare. 215 00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:36,946 [Dahlia laughs] 216 00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:45,330 Why don't you come on in here and help me wipe, big boy? 217 00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,290 Uh, gee. 218 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,417 I feel like you can do that yourself. 219 00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:52,212 Dammit. [sniffs] I'm out of practice. 220 00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:53,463 [Carrie] Get out! 221 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:57,634 [Dahlia] Never! I wanna suckle from the teat of life! 222 00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,679 - I want this body, darling. - [Carrie whimpers] 223 00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:03,473 And I always get what I want. 224 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,316 - [sighs, gasps, whimpers] - [knocks on door] 225 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,018 Carrie? Are you okay? 226 00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:10,689 Did you stick on a wax strip and get too scared to pull it off? 227 00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:12,941 I'm Dahlia. I'm Dahlia. 228 00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:14,818 [grunts, pants] 229 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:18,029 I'm Carrie. I'm Carrie. I'm Carrie. 230 00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:20,031 [whimpers, chokes] 231 00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,704 - [Carrie whimpering, panting] - Carrie? 232 00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:29,666 [whimpering, panting continues] 233 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,171 Carrie? 234 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,885 [panting continues] 235 00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:47,142 [panting stops] 236 00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,727 [Dahlia] Hello, handsome. 237 00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:51,855 [screams] 238 00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:53,773 [grunts] 239 00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:56,192 [thunderclap] 240 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,194 [chattering] 241 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:02,073 ["Für Elise" plays] 242 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:06,327 [cat meows] 243 00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,622 [spooky chords play] 244 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,584 ♪ Let's have a satanic orgy ♪ 245 00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:14,711 [meow] 246 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:18,631 ♪ Deep in the forest In the dead of night ♪ 247 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:21,843 ♪ The full moon is the only light ♪ 248 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:25,472 ♪ 'Round a magic circle Our bodies start to sway ♪ 249 00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:29,601 ♪ All the pretty witches Have come out to play ♪ 250 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,895 - [purrs] - [meows] 251 00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:36,358 ♪ Take a ride on my broom ♪ 252 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:43,823 ♪ We're naked under the moon ♪ 253 00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:45,658 [meowing] 254 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:50,330 ♪ Maybe I'll make love to you ♪ 255 00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:53,249 - [meowing] - [Jizzlord orgasming] 256 00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:01,966 [door tone plays] 257 00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:05,136 - [door shuts] - We're closed! 258 00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,515 [objects rattle] 259 00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:12,602 If you want to steal something, just take it. I don't care. 260 00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:15,397 [objects clattering] 261 00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:22,529 [objects clattering] 262 00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,535 [Kash] No, no! 263 00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,579 [grunts] Please, just stay still. 264 00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:32,997 - [footsteps] - [Kash mutters] 265 00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:35,125 - Hey, what are you doing? - [Kash grunts] 266 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,334 No, no, no! Wait. Wait. 267 00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:38,837 - That's not Carrie. - [panting] 268 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,046 - Oh, God. - [pants] 269 00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,550 [pants] Two of you. That's more like it. 270 00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:46,302 The devil's triangle. What is it the French say? 271 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,138 The fuck à trois? 272 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,681 - [groans] - What? Then who is it? 273 00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:52,726 - Some old actress. - Old, he says? Look at me. 274 00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:55,353 I'm young and lithe. 275 00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:57,230 Carrie, stop fucking around! Snap out of it! 276 00:14:57,313 --> 00:15:00,817 Carrie's gone, red. It's Dahlia from now on. 277 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,460 Practice that with your tongue. [moans] 278 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:05,572 Hey. Joan Crawford. Fuck off out of that body. It's not yours. 279 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:07,032 Make me. 280 00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:12,370 - [breathes shakily] What should we do? - [moans] 281 00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:15,165 We're doing an exorcism. 282 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,374 [chuckles] 283 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:20,378 - [rockabilly plays] - [meows] 284 00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:23,548 ♪ Got hair as black as night ♪ 285 00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:28,803 ♪ Got a skirt that's a-ooh so tight ♪ 286 00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:34,142 ♪ I'm tellin' you I've got an itch ♪ 287 00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:36,978 [chattering, laughing] 288 00:15:37,062 --> 00:15:39,189 ♪ She's my witch ♪ 289 00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:42,317 [YouTuber] Once you have them restrained, 290 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,862 I like to go in and evoke Jesus Christ. 291 00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:47,572 They hate that. 292 00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:50,992 - Step one, first one is my favourite step. - [moans] 293 00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:52,762 - You're gonna shout... - Ugh, she keeps looking at me. 294 00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:54,972 - [YouTuber] ..."The power of Christ"... - Well, then don't look. 295 00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:56,974 - [YouTuber speaks indistinctly] - I can't. She keeps... 296 00:15:56,998 --> 00:15:59,209 - [Dahlia groans] - [Kash]...doing that. 297 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,710 Stop giving her attention. 298 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,003 - It's what she wants. - Okay. 299 00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:04,839 [YouTuber] I just love this position so much. This is my personal... 300 00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:06,216 Have you two ever fucked? 301 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,134 - Ew. No. - No! 302 00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:09,737 What do you mean, "ew"? I didn't say, "ew." 303 00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:11,930 - I didn't mean "ew" like you disgust me. - [chuckles] 304 00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:13,949 I did, but I didn't say that, 'cause it would be rude. 305 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,642 It just came out! It was instinctual. 306 00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:18,228 Also, I just processed that. Wow, very mean. 307 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,939 - [chattering, cheers] - [music plays] 308 00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:26,027 [cheers continue] 309 00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:32,075 [people] Ooh! 310 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,619 [horns, alarms blaring] 311 00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:37,223 - Stop it! She's getting in our heads. - [alarms continue in distance] 312 00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:39,416 Okay, I'm bored of this. 313 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:40,417 [groans] 314 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:41,876 - No. - [gasps] 315 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:45,880 ♪ I like to wear my human skin outside In disguise ♪ 316 00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:47,173 How did you, um... 317 00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:51,344 A veteran like me has wrists of steel, darling. 318 00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:54,180 You know, from all the handjobs. 319 00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:55,557 Ugh, yeah, we got it. 320 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,976 ♪ Okay, cool It's a party with my ghouls ♪ 321 00:16:58,059 --> 00:17:00,103 No. No. [pants] 322 00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:02,981 [alarms blaring] 323 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,401 [grunts, panting] 324 00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,738 [panting continues] 325 00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:13,950 - [yelps, panting] - Hello. 326 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,335 - [breathes shakily] - Where'd she go? [pants] 327 00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:22,459 Come on. We need to find her. [pants] 328 00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:25,295 [breathes shakily] Mm-hmm. [swallows, whimpers] 329 00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,047 Are you serious? It's Carrie. 330 00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:28,840 She's built like a strand of dry spaghetti. 331 00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:31,134 No, it's not Carrie I'm scared of. [breathes shakily] 332 00:17:31,843 --> 00:17:34,095 Dahlia was a psycho. [breathes shakily] 333 00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:35,597 She had six husbands, 334 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,475 and five of them died falling down the stairs. [breathes shakily] 335 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,878 - Well, you know that's... - And the sixth one shot himself 336 00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:43,855 - in the back with a crossbow. - [breathes shakily] 337 00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:44,939 [groans] 338 00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:46,024 [yelps] 339 00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:48,443 [both breathing shakily] 340 00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:51,905 [whimpers] 341 00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:04,125 I need your help here. 342 00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:06,409 - Carrie needs your help. - [whimpers, breathes shakily] 343 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,214 [smacks lips] Or... [breathes heavily] 344 00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:12,467 ...maybe Carrie can just share with this lady. 345 00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:16,680 Okay, we get Carrie Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and she can take the rest. 346 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,242 - [breathes shakily] - Absolute coward. 347 00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:20,850 Fine. 348 00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:23,353 Stay here then. All by yourself. 349 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,814 [Kash swallows, whimpers] 350 00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:42,080 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪ 351 00:18:48,586 --> 00:18:49,587 [pants] 352 00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:12,861 [grunts] 353 00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:14,988 [pants] 354 00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:16,614 [breathes shakily, sighs] 355 00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:20,660 [screams] 356 00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:24,748 [Dahlia] You really shouldn't leave sharp objects lying around. 357 00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,541 Terribly unsafe. 358 00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:28,293 [stammers] Just get back! 359 00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:31,171 [chuckles, grunts] 360 00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:34,382 [squeaks] 361 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:39,679 Shame. I prefer them circumcised. 362 00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:41,848 Stop making her gross. She wouldn't like it. 363 00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:45,310 What about what I like, hmm? I like this body. 364 00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:47,604 I like being alive. 365 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:51,733 So, we can't have you spilling the beans on me, can we? 366 00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,109 No. [whimpers, breathes shakily] 367 00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:57,280 Huh? [breathes shakily] 368 00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:59,199 - [gasps, stammers] - [yells, screams] 369 00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:02,702 - [Kash grunts] - [Dahlia strains, grunts] 370 00:20:02,786 --> 00:20:05,205 - [chuckles] Look at you, Braveheart! - [pants, moans] 371 00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:07,123 - [Kash whimpers] - Are you crying? 372 00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,333 - [weeps] No. - [grunts] 373 00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:11,169 ♪ I took my baby to a horror show ♪ 374 00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:13,129 - [truck horn blows] - [meows] 375 00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,881 ♪ That's the only place she wants to go ♪ 376 00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:16,299 [coos] 377 00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:19,344 ♪ She thinks that Dracula is so divine ♪ 378 00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:23,056 ♪ And she wants to go steady With the Frankenstein ♪ 379 00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:26,643 [fades] 380 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,561 [meowing] 381 00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:33,233 [purring, cat meows] 382 00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:36,528 [meows] 383 00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:40,865 [beeping] 384 00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:45,829 [yowls] 385 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:49,457 [chuckles] He's in! Third one today. 386 00:20:49,541 --> 00:20:51,584 Think of all the unwanted kittens we're preventing. 387 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:04,931 [Doctor sighs] 388 00:21:06,516 --> 00:21:08,476 [cats meowing] 389 00:21:13,815 --> 00:21:15,567 [sighs] Hello, little man! 390 00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:18,611 You can plead for your testicles all you want. 391 00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:19,946 I can't hear you. 392 00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:22,907 You won't feel a thing. 393 00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,744 And you're really better off not being a father. 394 00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:27,328 Too much responsibility. 395 00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:29,879 I dropped my nephew on his head the other day, 396 00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:32,417 no one saw, and I just didn't tell anybody. 397 00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:33,960 Not my problem. 398 00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:35,045 Right. 399 00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:39,233 [person on speaker] Reginald's escaped from his cage again. 400 00:21:39,257 --> 00:21:41,009 How does he keep doing that? [sighs] 401 00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,349 [Doctor sighs] Reginald? 402 00:21:48,892 --> 00:21:50,393 Reginald? 403 00:21:51,603 --> 00:21:53,646 [speaks Spanish] 404 00:21:53,730 --> 00:21:57,317 You can't walk back to Nicaragua, Reggie. We've been through this. 405 00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:00,528 [strains] 406 00:22:06,493 --> 00:22:09,287 Ow! Shit it anyway! 407 00:22:09,371 --> 00:22:11,706 [grunts] Oh. 408 00:22:12,415 --> 00:22:16,544 Well, that's still okay because that dosage is only enough for a ca... 409 00:22:24,719 --> 00:22:25,720 [meows] 410 00:22:26,805 --> 00:22:29,641 [slowly] Libertade. 411 00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:31,351 Libertade! 412 00:22:32,143 --> 00:22:35,105 - Not so scary now, are you? - [breathes shakily, grunts] 413 00:22:36,231 --> 00:22:39,526 Ha! Oh, I bet you'd love to stab me, wouldn't you? 414 00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:44,823 - Go on, then. Too scared? Come on. - [breathing shakily, grunts] 415 00:22:44,906 --> 00:22:45,949 - [screams] - Oh, Jesus! 416 00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:46,866 [chuckles] 417 00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:48,576 - Kash! Stop it. - Sorry. 418 00:22:48,660 --> 00:22:50,662 God, I've no idea how to do an exorcism. 419 00:22:51,746 --> 00:22:54,916 ["Tubular Bells" plays] 420 00:23:00,338 --> 00:23:03,925 - Mum? - Jen! Are you okay? 421 00:23:04,009 --> 00:23:07,345 - Wha... - Whatever it is, you can tell me. 422 00:23:07,429 --> 00:23:11,182 Cancer? AIDS? That thing that makes your bones go soft? 423 00:23:11,266 --> 00:23:14,561 [gasps] Oh, God! You're not thinking of ending it all, are you? 424 00:23:14,644 --> 00:23:18,857 [yelps] Life is worth living, Jen! Even for you! 425 00:23:18,940 --> 00:23:20,191 What are you talking about? 426 00:23:20,275 --> 00:23:22,944 That was a very worrying voicemail you left. 427 00:23:23,028 --> 00:23:24,821 Using the L word like that. 428 00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:26,865 - So, you thought I was dying? - Well, aren't you? 429 00:23:26,948 --> 00:23:31,036 No, I'm not dying! I was just... I was trying to be nice. 430 00:23:33,830 --> 00:23:37,208 Well, don't ever do that again! I had to take three buses to get here. 431 00:23:37,292 --> 00:23:40,003 I didn't even have a chance to get out of my costume. [scoffs] 432 00:23:42,297 --> 00:23:43,715 Oh, Jesus, Mum. 433 00:23:43,798 --> 00:23:45,425 Looking good, Mary. 434 00:23:46,343 --> 00:23:49,012 - Whore! - [Kash] Uh, yeah, she's possessed. 435 00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:50,722 We've kind of run out of ideas. 436 00:23:50,805 --> 00:23:52,140 - Don... - So... 437 00:23:52,223 --> 00:23:53,850 Possessed? 438 00:23:55,477 --> 00:23:57,312 I've seen this before. 439 00:23:57,395 --> 00:23:59,272 A man in my village when I was small. 440 00:23:59,356 --> 00:24:00,648 [Jen] How did you drive it out? 441 00:24:00,732 --> 00:24:02,525 Well, we beat him with sticks. 442 00:24:03,568 --> 00:24:06,279 And it turned out he-he wasn't possessed in the end. 443 00:24:06,821 --> 00:24:08,490 He was just Portuguese. Lovely man. 444 00:24:08,573 --> 00:24:11,034 But I did learn a lot from the priest that day. 445 00:24:13,703 --> 00:24:17,665 You have to meet evil with evil. 446 00:24:17,749 --> 00:24:19,250 [grunting] 447 00:24:19,334 --> 00:24:21,836 You are not welcome here. 448 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:25,590 And we will drive you out of this innocent lamb, 449 00:24:25,674 --> 00:24:30,053 you harridan of Satan's own hole! 450 00:24:30,136 --> 00:24:31,846 [laughing] 451 00:24:31,930 --> 00:24:34,683 [pants] Be gone! I command... 452 00:24:34,766 --> 00:24:36,226 [gasps] What's her name? 453 00:24:36,851 --> 00:24:39,145 Uh... I don't remember. 454 00:24:39,229 --> 00:24:40,539 I don't think anyone does anymore. 455 00:24:40,563 --> 00:24:42,399 - Mmm. - [Mary] Delia? 456 00:24:42,482 --> 00:24:43,562 - Delilah? - [Mary] Delilah? 457 00:24:43,608 --> 00:24:44,609 [Dahlia] Dahlia! 458 00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:46,569 It's not difficult. 459 00:24:47,529 --> 00:24:49,698 [dogs barking] 460 00:24:49,781 --> 00:24:52,534 [rock playing] 461 00:24:55,078 --> 00:24:57,664 - [Tito's owner] Come on, Tito! - [barks] 462 00:24:58,623 --> 00:25:00,875 - [owner] Tito, no! - [cat yowls] 463 00:25:00,959 --> 00:25:03,044 Leave the cat alone! Tito! 464 00:25:03,128 --> 00:25:05,296 - [dogs barking] - [fast music plays] 465 00:25:05,380 --> 00:25:07,465 - [cat yowls] - [barking continues] 466 00:25:07,549 --> 00:25:10,802 ♪ I was a teenage Frankenstein I was a teenage Frankenstein, oh, yeah ♪ 467 00:25:12,971 --> 00:25:15,306 ♪ I was a teenage Frankenstein ♪ 468 00:25:15,390 --> 00:25:20,812 ♪ I was a teenage Frankenstein I was a teenage Frankenstein, oh, yeah ♪ 469 00:25:22,981 --> 00:25:25,191 - [cat yowls] - [music ends] 470 00:25:26,860 --> 00:25:29,821 - [cat yowls] - [dogs barking] 471 00:25:30,405 --> 00:25:32,157 [Dahlia] People still know my name. 472 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,076 - I'm still a star. [sniffs] - Can you guys name a single film 473 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:36,327 - she's been in? - No. 474 00:25:36,411 --> 00:25:37,579 [Mary] Not one. Not a clue. 475 00:25:37,662 --> 00:25:40,373 Oh, come on. In the Port Rightly? 476 00:25:40,457 --> 00:25:41,541 - Mm-mmm. - [Kash] No. 477 00:25:41,624 --> 00:25:43,043 The Angel of Cleveland? 478 00:25:43,126 --> 00:25:44,586 - Of where? - Never heard of it. 479 00:25:44,669 --> 00:25:47,088 - The Gun Goes Bang? - Never heard of them. 480 00:25:47,172 --> 00:25:49,007 Of course it goes bang. What else would it do? 481 00:25:49,090 --> 00:25:50,300 Now, Vivien Leigh. 482 00:25:50,383 --> 00:25:51,543 - [Mary] Oh. - [Kash exclaims] 483 00:25:51,593 --> 00:25:53,261 - Incredible. Mmm. Yep. - Timeless. 484 00:25:53,345 --> 00:25:54,554 [spits] Talentless prude. 485 00:25:54,637 --> 00:25:56,389 - Grace Kelly. - [gasps] Love her. Oh. 486 00:25:56,473 --> 00:25:57,766 - Lauren Bacall. - [Mary] Oh! 487 00:25:57,849 --> 00:25:59,243 - Elizabeth Taylor. - [Jen, Mary moan] 488 00:25:59,267 --> 00:26:01,245 - We remember them. - You think you're being clever? 489 00:26:01,269 --> 00:26:03,855 I know what you're doing. And it's not gonna work. 490 00:26:03,938 --> 00:26:08,318 See, I have to stay to rebuild my legacy. [sniffs] 491 00:26:09,069 --> 00:26:10,737 You will never make it as an actress. 492 00:26:10,820 --> 00:26:13,031 And Carrie's already too old to play ingénues. 493 00:26:13,114 --> 00:26:14,532 - No! No! - [Kash] Uh-huh, uh-huh. 494 00:26:14,616 --> 00:26:16,802 You've got two more years of playing 25. And after that, 495 00:26:16,826 --> 00:26:18,763 - you might as well be dead again! - No, no, no, no... 496 00:26:18,787 --> 00:26:20,389 Don't listen to them! Don't listen to them! 497 00:26:20,413 --> 00:26:22,499 - She's already got crow's feet! - [yells] 498 00:26:22,582 --> 00:26:24,834 - Look! - [Dahlia] No! No! No, don't! 499 00:26:24,918 --> 00:26:26,378 It isn't true! [yells] 500 00:26:26,461 --> 00:26:29,089 Look, goddamn you! Look! 501 00:26:29,172 --> 00:26:31,007 [panting] 502 00:26:31,841 --> 00:26:34,052 [laughs] 503 00:26:35,512 --> 00:26:36,513 [Dahlia groans] 504 00:26:36,596 --> 00:26:38,556 [chuckles] I think I've bitten her tongue. 505 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:41,142 Get out of my friend, you bitch! 506 00:26:41,226 --> 00:26:42,394 Whoops. 507 00:26:46,731 --> 00:26:49,192 - We have been too soft with her. - [babbles] 508 00:26:50,110 --> 00:26:52,112 Kash, get the sticks. 509 00:26:52,195 --> 00:26:54,906 Prepare for war, you she-devil! 510 00:26:54,989 --> 00:26:56,950 [laughs] I'll never leave! 511 00:26:57,033 --> 00:26:58,660 - [Mary] Waterboard her! - Carrie. 512 00:26:58,743 --> 00:27:00,704 - [grunts] - No, stop, stop, stop! 513 00:27:00,787 --> 00:27:02,288 [groans] What are you doing? 514 00:27:02,372 --> 00:27:04,541 I think we've been talking to the wrong person. 515 00:27:04,624 --> 00:27:07,961 Hey, bud. I know you're in there, and I know you're stronger than her. 516 00:27:08,044 --> 00:27:09,087 Be quiet! 517 00:27:09,170 --> 00:27:10,630 Because you're Carrie Jackson. 518 00:27:10,714 --> 00:27:12,882 Y-You think ordering negronis makes you seem grown-up. 519 00:27:12,966 --> 00:27:15,286 [chuckles] You've never been able to cook aubergines right. 520 00:27:15,927 --> 00:27:19,055 You finish books you don't even like because you think they'll feel bad. 521 00:27:19,139 --> 00:27:20,765 You're a total fucking nerd! 522 00:27:20,849 --> 00:27:23,643 [sighs] You're my best friend. I love you. 523 00:27:29,399 --> 00:27:30,942 [chokes] 524 00:27:31,026 --> 00:27:32,485 [all screaming] 525 00:27:33,903 --> 00:27:35,071 [screaming continues] 526 00:27:41,995 --> 00:27:44,622 [shrieks] 527 00:27:50,003 --> 00:27:51,421 [pants] 528 00:27:52,130 --> 00:27:54,132 [breathes heavily] 529 00:27:58,136 --> 00:28:00,013 [Carrie] I'm sorry for causing a fuss. 530 00:28:00,096 --> 00:28:02,140 - [chuckles] - [Mary sighs] 531 00:28:02,223 --> 00:28:03,975 Hey. [exclaims] 532 00:28:04,059 --> 00:28:06,728 - Are you okay? [sighs] - Yeah. She's gone. 533 00:28:08,146 --> 00:28:10,398 Well, my work here is done. 534 00:28:11,191 --> 00:28:12,317 You didn't do anything. 535 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:13,735 You're welcome. 536 00:28:15,737 --> 00:28:17,489 - [sighs] - [chuckles] 537 00:28:17,572 --> 00:28:18,948 Are you okay? 538 00:28:19,032 --> 00:28:20,200 [sniffs] 539 00:28:20,283 --> 00:28:21,493 I'm so glad you're back. 540 00:28:21,576 --> 00:28:23,286 Yeah. Me too. 541 00:28:23,370 --> 00:28:25,872 - [chuckles] - Did you say I had crow's feet? 542 00:28:25,955 --> 00:28:29,042 [stammers, shushes] You're confused. 543 00:28:29,125 --> 00:28:30,835 - Oh. - [kisses] 544 00:28:33,171 --> 00:28:35,757 ♪ Hold on, you don't want no problems I'm a monster ♪ 545 00:28:36,257 --> 00:28:38,593 ♪ Oh, you scared I make you shake, I make you shudder ♪ 546 00:28:38,677 --> 00:28:40,345 [door rattles] 547 00:28:41,721 --> 00:28:43,098 [door tone plays] 548 00:28:59,531 --> 00:29:01,074 [Jen] We brought you a dressing gown. 549 00:29:01,157 --> 00:29:02,617 I-I don't want to be a cat! 550 00:29:05,537 --> 00:29:07,122 Is it too late to be a slut?