1 00:00:25,010 --> 00:00:25,943 Aw, shit. 2 00:00:25,977 --> 00:00:27,643 There we go. 3 00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:35,843 What is this? 4 00:00:35,877 --> 00:00:36,910 What’s that? 5 00:00:40,143 --> 00:00:40,777 Oh boy! 6 00:00:40,810 --> 00:00:41,643 Whoa! 7 00:00:41,676 --> 00:00:42,977 - Whoa! - What?! 8 00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:45,676 Holy fuck, Graham Greene? 9 00:00:47,376 --> 00:00:50,043 I’m Graham Greene. I’m the head producer. 10 00:00:50,076 --> 00:00:52,010 Hey. How are ya? 11 00:00:52,043 --> 00:00:53,309 Holy shit! 12 00:00:53,343 --> 00:00:56,243 {\an8}Is, is, this Graham Greene? 13 00:00:56,276 --> 00:00:57,543 {\an8}For real? 14 00:00:57,576 --> 00:01:00,676 Alright, listen up, you lint pickin’, 15 00:01:00,710 --> 00:01:02,576 butt scratchin’ sons of bitches. 16 00:01:04,243 --> 00:01:08,010 I am hard and because I am hard you will not like me. 17 00:01:08,043 --> 00:01:09,977 He’s hard! 18 00:01:10,010 --> 00:01:11,443 Mmm. 19 00:01:11,476 --> 00:01:14,476 I’m going to congratulate you for being the top comedians 20 00:01:14,510 --> 00:01:19,710 who did not laugh over those flat dicks and their shit jokes. 21 00:01:19,743 --> 00:01:22,543 I can’t believe these words are coming out of his mouth. 22 00:01:22,576 --> 00:01:25,543 What’s your major malfunction, numbnuts? 23 00:01:25,576 --> 00:01:27,710 Do you think I’m cute? Do you like staring at my butt? 24 00:01:27,743 --> 00:01:29,143 I’ll be watching you. 25 00:01:29,176 --> 00:01:31,076 Okay. Yes, sir. 26 00:01:31,109 --> 00:01:34,810 I was teetering. Oh man. 27 00:01:34,843 --> 00:01:39,076 It’s so funny because it’s Graham Greene saying it. 28 00:01:39,109 --> 00:01:41,309 Oh, I see. You wanna be halfway. 29 00:01:41,343 --> 00:01:42,877 You know what halfway is? 30 00:01:42,910 --> 00:01:46,376 Halfway’s a bum that doesn’t finish anything. 31 00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:49,543 A plastic bag half full of dog shit. 32 00:01:53,143 --> 00:01:54,610 Graham Greene, he just starts 33 00:01:54,643 --> 00:01:56,010 {\an8}calling us all bags of shit. 34 00:01:59,243 --> 00:02:00,410 Trevor, you’re fucked buddy. 35 00:02:01,977 --> 00:02:03,476 I know funny. 36 00:02:03,510 --> 00:02:05,643 You think sitting across from Costner 37 00:02:05,676 --> 00:02:10,810 watching him tryin’ to act, not breaking up is easy? 38 00:02:10,843 --> 00:02:12,309 - Damn. - Whoa! 39 00:02:12,343 --> 00:02:14,010 Bull butter! 40 00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:16,476 This is so surreal. 41 00:02:16,510 --> 00:02:17,643 This is a spin off called 42 00:02:17,676 --> 00:02:20,376 "Discomfort with Canada’s Top Actors." 43 00:02:20,410 --> 00:02:23,010 "Coming up next Colm Feore and Anal Leakage." 44 00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:24,710 Well, you see my ass is leaking, 45 00:02:24,743 --> 00:02:26,843 just a little bit over here and a little bit over there. 46 00:02:28,176 --> 00:02:30,443 {\an8}I love Graham Greene. That was disturbing. 47 00:02:30,476 --> 00:02:31,710 {\an8}And mystifying. 48 00:02:31,743 --> 00:02:33,309 You’re not here to sit around like 49 00:02:33,343 --> 00:02:35,543 a bunch of drunk hyenas and laugh. 50 00:02:35,576 --> 00:02:37,510 {\an8}Graham Greene was angry with us. 51 00:02:37,543 --> 00:02:41,810 {\an8}I mean... that’s kinda neat. 52 00:02:41,843 --> 00:02:45,010 This would get me. This would get me. 53 00:02:45,043 --> 00:02:46,910 Let’s crank things up a notch shall we? 54 00:02:46,943 --> 00:02:48,076 Oh. 55 00:02:49,543 --> 00:02:52,443 What in the name of Aunt Tilly’s nightgown do you want? 56 00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:53,777 What the heck’s going on? 57 00:02:53,810 --> 00:02:55,043 Hi everybody, how’s it going? 58 00:02:55,076 --> 00:02:56,410 - Uh oh. - Good. 59 00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,877 Thank you very much, Graham. Graham Greene, everybody. 60 00:02:58,910 --> 00:02:59,910 Thank you. 61 00:02:59,943 --> 00:03:02,476 Yes. Graham Greene. Legend. Legend. 62 00:03:02,510 --> 00:03:03,943 That was rad. 63 00:03:03,977 --> 00:03:05,843 The show would not have been complete 64 00:03:05,877 --> 00:03:08,076 without Graham Greene berating you. 65 00:03:08,109 --> 00:03:12,443 That marks the halfway point and there’s only two people left 66 00:03:12,476 --> 00:03:13,910 who are absolutely cardless. 67 00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:16,243 Brandon. 68 00:03:16,276 --> 00:03:18,043 And Tom. 69 00:03:18,076 --> 00:03:19,510 Uh-huh. 70 00:03:19,543 --> 00:03:22,843 Not a single card has been given to either of them. 71 00:03:22,877 --> 00:03:26,443 It would behoove those of you who have been carded 72 00:03:26,476 --> 00:03:28,810 to try and fuck with them. 73 00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:31,043 Ohh. 74 00:03:31,076 --> 00:03:32,410 Great. 75 00:03:32,443 --> 00:03:33,843 Yeah, that’s what, that’s why I’m here. 76 00:03:33,877 --> 00:03:34,877 Uh huh. Uh oh. 77 00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:36,643 Throw me under the bus, Jay Baruchel. 78 00:03:36,676 --> 00:03:40,243 So guys. Game on. I’ll see you guys in a bit. 79 00:03:41,343 --> 00:03:43,109 Thanks for having me, everybody. 80 00:03:44,176 --> 00:03:46,810 Bye! 81 00:03:48,343 --> 00:03:49,276 Excuse me. 82 00:03:49,309 --> 00:03:50,576 So here’s the deal: 83 00:03:50,610 --> 00:03:54,643 Colin, Jon, Andrew and K. Trevor all have yellow cards 84 00:03:54,676 --> 00:03:58,143 while Tom and Brandon still have spotless resumes. 85 00:03:58,176 --> 00:04:01,209 And I’m stuck in the lodge with everyone else who shit the bed. 86 00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:05,476 Oh, Lord. Oh Lord, Tom. 87 00:04:05,510 --> 00:04:07,376 I think Brandon’s gonna win. 88 00:04:07,410 --> 00:04:09,243 I don’t think he’s found any of this funny. 89 00:04:09,276 --> 00:04:10,176 Nothing. 90 00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:11,443 {\an8}It’s going to be a tough time. 91 00:04:11,476 --> 00:04:12,843 {\an8}It’s gonna be a tough time. 92 00:04:12,877 --> 00:04:14,843 {\an8}I gotta, like, battle these people. 93 00:04:14,877 --> 00:04:17,343 The vultures are coming. 94 00:04:17,376 --> 00:04:19,443 Like how do you fuck with Tom Green? 95 00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:21,209 You’re dead on the inside, right? 96 00:04:23,076 --> 00:04:24,443 I don’t know. Hmm. 97 00:04:24,476 --> 00:04:25,543 I don’t know. 98 00:04:25,576 --> 00:04:26,843 I don’t know. What do you find funny? 99 00:04:26,877 --> 00:04:29,476 I have been on a sort of razor blade’s edge. Uh... 100 00:04:29,510 --> 00:04:31,676 - Yeah. Yeah. - This entire time. 101 00:04:31,710 --> 00:04:34,209 It’s a good poker face though. 102 00:04:34,243 --> 00:04:35,843 {\an8}I’m gonna keep a straight face. 103 00:04:35,877 --> 00:04:40,176 {\an8}I’m gonna have no fun ’cause that’s the kinda guy I am. 104 00:04:40,209 --> 00:04:45,209 {\an8}A humourless, straight-faced, 105 00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:47,576 unfun individual. 106 00:04:47,610 --> 00:04:48,576 Yeah. 107 00:04:48,610 --> 00:04:50,109 I’m gonna go get some water. 108 00:04:50,143 --> 00:04:51,043 I’m gonna go get some water. 109 00:04:51,076 --> 00:04:52,410 Anyone want a glass of water? 110 00:04:52,443 --> 00:04:54,777 Eh, that’s a good strategy. Interesting strategy. 111 00:04:54,810 --> 00:04:58,209 Yeah. Yeah. 112 00:04:58,243 --> 00:04:59,777 Since there’s been a lot of music. 113 00:04:59,810 --> 00:05:03,209 I feel that this is my chance to do a little dance 114 00:05:03,243 --> 00:05:04,376 for you, my new friends. 115 00:05:04,410 --> 00:05:06,276 - Mmmm. - Oh, thank you. 116 00:05:06,309 --> 00:05:08,043 Very excited to see it. 117 00:05:08,076 --> 00:05:09,410 Colin wants the band! 118 00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:10,710 Because I think he’s stepping up to the challenge 119 00:05:10,743 --> 00:05:12,576 of taking down Tom and Brandon. 120 00:05:14,176 --> 00:05:15,343 All right, guys. 121 00:05:15,376 --> 00:05:17,943 Wooo. 122 00:05:17,977 --> 00:05:20,977 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh oh... Wipeout ♪ 123 00:05:35,943 --> 00:05:38,576 Trevor! What is that face? 124 00:05:39,610 --> 00:05:40,810 Trevor and Jon! 125 00:05:49,576 --> 00:05:51,643 He’s gonna hurt himself. 126 00:05:51,676 --> 00:05:52,943 Oh! Jon! 127 00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:53,743 Jon is so close. 128 00:05:57,510 --> 00:05:59,343 He’s good. 129 00:05:59,376 --> 00:06:02,176 He’s, errr, very good. One of the best. 130 00:06:23,343 --> 00:06:25,410 Wipeout! 131 00:06:25,443 --> 00:06:27,410 How do you not laugh at that? 132 00:06:27,443 --> 00:06:29,109 Are you not a human being? 133 00:06:29,143 --> 00:06:30,943 Are you not alive? 134 00:06:30,977 --> 00:06:32,476 One more time. 135 00:06:35,276 --> 00:06:36,109 Oh God! Did he just say "One more time?" 136 00:06:36,143 --> 00:06:37,176 Yes! 137 00:06:37,209 --> 00:06:38,176 I’m dying. 138 00:06:45,109 --> 00:06:47,209 I saw Tom’s eyes light up 139 00:06:47,243 --> 00:06:50,943 a little bit at the humping of the table. 140 00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:52,143 The humping the table. 141 00:06:52,176 --> 00:06:53,877 That was tough for me. 142 00:06:53,910 --> 00:06:56,076 Colin, of course, having done so much improvisation 143 00:06:56,109 --> 00:06:59,176 and having the ability to get very silly like that, 144 00:06:59,209 --> 00:07:02,543 I’m in danger territory. 145 00:07:02,576 --> 00:07:04,510 Why did Colin wait ’til now to be funny? 146 00:07:05,810 --> 00:07:08,810 I could have been out an hour ago! 147 00:07:08,843 --> 00:07:12,510 One of the things I’ve based my career on has been stamina. 148 00:07:14,076 --> 00:07:16,476 Just hanging in there ’til everyone else quits or dies. 149 00:07:19,810 --> 00:07:21,309 {\an8}I was like wanna battle? 150 00:07:21,343 --> 00:07:23,843 {\an8}Wanna, wanna roll? Let’s roll, Colin! 151 00:07:33,010 --> 00:07:35,410 Look at Jon. 152 00:07:36,476 --> 00:07:37,376 Jon. 153 00:07:38,443 --> 00:07:39,743 Jon! 154 00:07:43,376 --> 00:07:46,109 Oh my goodness. 155 00:07:46,143 --> 00:07:47,676 He’s throwing peanuts into his mouth 156 00:07:47,710 --> 00:07:49,476 Oh my God... 157 00:07:54,710 --> 00:07:56,276 Mmmm hmmm. 158 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,710 Woooo! 159 00:07:58,743 --> 00:08:00,476 Oh Lord, it took everything in me 160 00:08:00,510 --> 00:08:01,843 not to laugh at that. 161 00:08:04,676 --> 00:08:06,710 Sixty four! 162 00:08:08,209 --> 00:08:09,243 Colin, this one's for you! 163 00:08:09,276 --> 00:08:11,843 Wooo. Whoa! 164 00:08:11,877 --> 00:08:14,376 He caught that! 165 00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:15,777 I’m gonna be over here for a while. 166 00:08:15,810 --> 00:08:18,343 That was endurance my friend. 167 00:08:18,376 --> 00:08:19,977 Woo! 168 00:08:20,010 --> 00:08:25,076 I was on a razor blade edge there. 169 00:08:26,209 --> 00:08:29,610 Oh my God. You’re all champions. 170 00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,376 I thought Jon was going to actually vomit. 171 00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:32,109 Me, too. 172 00:08:32,143 --> 00:08:33,109 Oooh. 173 00:08:33,143 --> 00:08:35,176 Oh my penis has never been so hard. 174 00:08:35,209 --> 00:08:36,676 Mine, too. 175 00:08:36,710 --> 00:08:38,209 Brandon’s an enigma. 176 00:08:40,343 --> 00:08:43,309 {\an8}I dunno what is gonna break that guy. 177 00:08:43,343 --> 00:08:46,343 I want them all to team up on Brandon. 178 00:08:46,376 --> 00:08:47,610 What the hell is wrong with you? 179 00:08:47,643 --> 00:08:51,176 I suffered a heart attack and a partial stroke, 180 00:08:51,209 --> 00:08:54,076 dancing just to make you laugh. 181 00:08:54,109 --> 00:08:56,209 I tend to be, you know, fairly clean 182 00:08:56,243 --> 00:08:58,743 but I thought okay I’m gonna have to go for it. 183 00:08:58,777 --> 00:09:01,710 I was giving my fucking all, Brandon. 184 00:09:01,743 --> 00:09:03,309 Oh shit! 185 00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:05,376 This could be trouble for Brandon. 186 00:09:05,410 --> 00:09:08,010 I thought I gotta get Brandon, I gotta get Brandon. 187 00:09:08,043 --> 00:09:09,476 Canadian legend right here. 188 00:09:09,510 --> 00:09:10,576 I can see. I know. 189 00:09:10,610 --> 00:09:11,943 Canadian legend! 190 00:09:11,977 --> 00:09:12,943 I’m so uncomfortable. 191 00:09:12,977 --> 00:09:14,777 It’s all ok. 192 00:09:14,810 --> 00:09:17,243 You’ve been a bad boy! 193 00:09:17,276 --> 00:09:18,910 Unbreakable Ash-Mohammed, that is me. 194 00:09:18,943 --> 00:09:20,209 That is I. 195 00:09:20,243 --> 00:09:23,276 What does it take? Does it take jokes about Facebook? 196 00:09:23,309 --> 00:09:28,877 Instagram? About tweeting of the stuff? 197 00:09:28,910 --> 00:09:33,143 Internet? MySpace? Modem? 198 00:09:33,176 --> 00:09:35,343 Dial up, motherfucker! 199 00:09:35,376 --> 00:09:36,710 I don’t think I had dial up. 200 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,376 When I started making internet videos 201 00:09:38,410 --> 00:09:41,810 you had to shoot ’em on a camera! 202 00:09:41,843 --> 00:09:43,576 A camera! 203 00:09:44,877 --> 00:09:46,410 Brandon is almost smiling, look! 204 00:09:47,843 --> 00:09:50,276 When I started doing comedy, we had meat rations. 205 00:09:50,309 --> 00:09:54,543 We could not eat meat. So we had to be funny on butter. 206 00:09:57,877 --> 00:10:00,943 Butter shaped like lamb. 207 00:10:00,977 --> 00:10:02,309 Butter shaped like lamb? 208 00:10:02,343 --> 00:10:04,176 Look it up in your Google. 209 00:10:04,209 --> 00:10:05,543 Well... 210 00:10:05,576 --> 00:10:06,910 Make an old man happy. 211 00:10:06,943 --> 00:10:09,143 One little laugh. One little smile. 212 00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:13,410 Oh c’mon, nothing for that? 213 00:10:13,443 --> 00:10:15,576 I might be able to win this. I might be able to win this now. 214 00:10:19,443 --> 00:10:21,209 Uh oh. 215 00:10:21,243 --> 00:10:22,843 I feel something’s happening. 216 00:10:22,877 --> 00:10:24,977 - Uh-oh. - This is worrisome. 217 00:10:27,910 --> 00:10:30,243 Um, alright, well, while we’re waiting, uh, 218 00:10:30,276 --> 00:10:31,576 pfft, I don’t know this is, 219 00:10:31,610 --> 00:10:33,777 eh, Patrick Stewart having an orgasm. 220 00:10:33,810 --> 00:10:35,543 "I’m about to cum!" 221 00:10:35,576 --> 00:10:36,777 Oh. 222 00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:45,243 I’m just a little guy. There we go. 223 00:10:45,276 --> 00:10:49,176 Where are you going for, uh, Canada Day this year? 224 00:10:49,209 --> 00:10:50,510 Lake Titicaca? 225 00:10:52,343 --> 00:10:53,943 He’s funny! 226 00:10:53,977 --> 00:10:55,877 They’re just reacting very strangely. 227 00:10:55,910 --> 00:10:56,910 Seriously. 228 00:10:56,943 --> 00:10:58,710 It got a little weird. 229 00:10:58,743 --> 00:11:03,643 It’s starting to feel like "Waiting for Godot"... 230 00:11:03,676 --> 00:11:06,376 I’m just a little baby. Look at me. 231 00:11:06,410 --> 00:11:09,010 And a couple tablespoons of "Fight Club". 232 00:11:10,877 --> 00:11:12,076 Oh. 233 00:11:15,410 --> 00:11:18,043 I’m very familiar with anatomy so I know where to put these. 234 00:11:23,043 --> 00:11:25,977 That’s how Kim Kardashian was born. 235 00:11:27,743 --> 00:11:29,977 I can say with certainty, 236 00:11:30,010 --> 00:11:34,010 that has never aired on Canadian television before. 237 00:11:34,043 --> 00:11:36,243 There was a Wayne and Shuster After Dark. 238 00:11:38,943 --> 00:11:42,510 Wayne and Shuster’s ass-tits bit was very famous. 239 00:11:45,510 --> 00:11:48,443 See, there’s no one old enough to laugh at that in there! 240 00:11:51,676 --> 00:11:55,010 Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. 241 00:11:55,043 --> 00:11:57,543 How are the walleye biting down at Lake Titicaca? 242 00:11:59,676 --> 00:12:01,376 This is really where I thought my career 243 00:12:01,410 --> 00:12:03,243 was going to end up, locked in a studio 244 00:12:03,276 --> 00:12:05,643 talking to Tom Green with tit eyes. 245 00:12:05,676 --> 00:12:09,843 ♪ Comedy, comedy This is comedy ♪ 246 00:12:09,877 --> 00:12:12,076 Alright, time to raise the curtain. 247 00:12:14,910 --> 00:12:15,810 Ooh. 248 00:12:15,843 --> 00:12:18,343 Whoa oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. 249 00:12:18,376 --> 00:12:20,877 - Oh! - Oh boy. 250 00:12:20,910 --> 00:12:21,877 Oh, little seats. 251 00:12:21,910 --> 00:12:23,710 Those are small chairs. 252 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,943 ♪ What’s gonna happen? ♪ 253 00:12:25,977 --> 00:12:27,977 It seems like a major set up. 254 00:12:29,043 --> 00:12:30,810 This is gonna be big. 255 00:12:35,476 --> 00:12:37,243 I guess that’s it. 256 00:12:37,276 --> 00:12:38,576 I’m not going to lie, 257 00:12:38,610 --> 00:12:40,109 I thought something more was going to happen. 258 00:12:40,143 --> 00:12:42,410 We have a smaller set now 259 00:12:42,443 --> 00:12:45,643 which amused me, because why? 260 00:12:45,676 --> 00:12:47,943 Right now one of the writers is being told 261 00:12:47,977 --> 00:12:50,443 how much it cost to build the mini set. 262 00:12:51,943 --> 00:12:53,410 Yes, that was, so that was worth five grand. 263 00:12:53,443 --> 00:12:54,510 That was worth it right? 264 00:12:54,543 --> 00:12:55,376 That was five grand for the mini set? 265 00:12:55,410 --> 00:12:56,143 This bit’s got legs right? 266 00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:57,877 Yeah. 267 00:12:57,910 --> 00:12:59,343 Show of hands, who voted for the mini set? 268 00:12:59,376 --> 00:13:01,109 Are we like rats right now? 269 00:13:01,143 --> 00:13:03,276 We’re supposed to go, come over and... 270 00:13:03,309 --> 00:13:04,443 Check it out? 271 00:13:04,476 --> 00:13:06,309 Is it possible that nothing’s changed 272 00:13:06,343 --> 00:13:08,743 and we’re just all losing our minds? 273 00:13:08,777 --> 00:13:11,376 I think there’s a 60 percent chance 274 00:13:11,410 --> 00:13:12,309 that that’s what’s happening. 275 00:13:13,276 --> 00:13:15,076 Uh oh. The train’s running. 276 00:13:15,109 --> 00:13:16,476 Three hours! 277 00:13:16,510 --> 00:13:18,343 Three hours, we’re here. 278 00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:26,209 I think I’m going to be the first one to shit here today. 279 00:13:26,243 --> 00:13:27,243 Mmm. In the bathroom? 280 00:13:27,276 --> 00:13:28,543 Yeah. 281 00:13:28,576 --> 00:13:29,943 There’s no chance that I’d be able to do that. 282 00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:31,743 - No. - It’s not that I want to. 283 00:13:31,777 --> 00:13:34,410 Yeah, it’d be weird if you wanted to. 284 00:13:34,443 --> 00:13:36,309 Oh no, not this again. 285 00:13:36,343 --> 00:13:39,276 I’ve gotta fucking put an end to this. 286 00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:43,209 Hi, I listen to CHUM. 287 00:13:43,243 --> 00:13:44,810 Hi, hi, Trevor. 288 00:13:44,843 --> 00:13:47,176 You’re gonna host a talk show called "Let’s Roll That Clip". 289 00:13:47,209 --> 00:13:50,410 You will interview people, at any point in the interview 290 00:13:50,443 --> 00:13:52,309 you will interrupt your guest and say 291 00:13:52,343 --> 00:13:55,209 "Let’s roll that clip" and then they will show some videos. 292 00:13:55,243 --> 00:13:56,209 Can do. 293 00:13:56,243 --> 00:13:57,209 Alright buddy. See ya in a bit. 294 00:13:57,243 --> 00:13:58,376 Thanks so much. 295 00:13:58,410 --> 00:14:01,109 All right, guys, I am hosting a talk show now. 296 00:14:01,143 --> 00:14:02,309 - Okay. - Okay. 297 00:14:02,343 --> 00:14:05,209 A talk show game called "Let’s Roll That Clip". 298 00:14:05,243 --> 00:14:08,443 My first guest is the legendary Tom Green. 299 00:14:08,476 --> 00:14:11,109 Tom Green. 300 00:14:11,143 --> 00:14:13,576 - Yeah, Tom Green. - Tom Green! 301 00:14:13,610 --> 00:14:15,977 That actually would be a fucking good talk show. 302 00:14:16,010 --> 00:14:19,510 Tom, I hear you do, uh, uh, movies and TV sometimes. 303 00:14:19,543 --> 00:14:21,176 - Uh... I try. - What’s that like? 304 00:14:21,209 --> 00:14:22,276 It’s a lot of fun. A lot of fun. 305 00:14:22,309 --> 00:14:24,243 Yeah. I get to do things like this. 306 00:14:24,276 --> 00:14:26,309 Like come on your show which is, uh... 307 00:14:26,343 --> 00:14:27,743 Terrific! Let’s roll that clip! 308 00:14:27,777 --> 00:14:28,443 Okay, let’s have a look. 309 00:14:29,676 --> 00:14:31,476 Is that a movie or a TV show? 310 00:14:31,510 --> 00:14:33,209 No, that’s just some home video actually. 311 00:14:33,243 --> 00:14:34,576 Ooh. 312 00:14:34,610 --> 00:14:37,510 Yeah that’s uh, that was before, uh, I started shaving. 313 00:14:42,777 --> 00:14:44,476 Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay. 314 00:14:44,510 --> 00:14:47,443 I can’t believe you got this video of me and my sister. 315 00:14:51,010 --> 00:14:53,010 Okay. I’m done! 316 00:14:53,043 --> 00:14:55,243 - Mmm. - Uh oh! 317 00:14:55,276 --> 00:14:56,843 Shit! Oh my god! 318 00:14:58,276 --> 00:14:59,309 I’m out. 319 00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:02,810 Whoa. There it is. 320 00:15:02,843 --> 00:15:05,910 The good news is, I’m not gonna have to shit in here. 321 00:15:05,943 --> 00:15:09,343 That is good news. That is great news. 322 00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:12,843 The good die young. 323 00:15:16,710 --> 00:15:18,643 I, I wonder who you’re here for? 324 00:15:18,676 --> 00:15:20,309 Yeah... 325 00:15:20,343 --> 00:15:23,543 Yeah... let’s, let’s roll that clip! 326 00:15:23,576 --> 00:15:25,643 That was before, uh, I started shaving. 327 00:15:25,676 --> 00:15:27,810 Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay. 328 00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:30,043 I can’t believe you got this video of me and my sister. 329 00:15:32,176 --> 00:15:33,510 Okay. I’m done! 330 00:15:41,209 --> 00:15:42,777 Ladies and gentlemen... 331 00:15:42,810 --> 00:15:45,143 K. Trevor Wilson... ...red card! Eliminated. 332 00:15:45,176 --> 00:15:46,343 Woo! 333 00:15:46,376 --> 00:15:47,676 You all are amazing. 334 00:15:47,710 --> 00:15:49,843 It has been lovely to work and meet with all of you. 335 00:15:49,877 --> 00:15:51,710 - Alright, see you Trevor. - Woo. 336 00:15:51,743 --> 00:15:52,643 I think I might have knocked out 337 00:15:52,676 --> 00:15:53,877 more people than anybody. 338 00:15:53,910 --> 00:15:56,977 {\an8}Who’s counting? But I just, you know...three. 339 00:15:57,010 --> 00:15:58,176 {\an8}Thank you very much. 340 00:15:58,209 --> 00:16:01,543 Thank you very much. Thank you very much. 341 00:16:03,910 --> 00:16:05,810 So let’s unpack this. How do you feel? 342 00:16:05,843 --> 00:16:07,743 Yeah, well you know I lasted longer 343 00:16:07,777 --> 00:16:08,576 than I thought I would actually. 344 00:16:08,610 --> 00:16:09,676 Yeah? 345 00:16:09,710 --> 00:16:11,343 And I wasn’t kidding, I really was 346 00:16:11,376 --> 00:16:12,376 about to go take a shit, so... 347 00:16:13,510 --> 00:16:14,676 {\an8}I think it was better for everyone 348 00:16:14,710 --> 00:16:16,309 {\an8}that I went out when I did. 349 00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:18,510 I don’t shit politely. 350 00:16:18,543 --> 00:16:20,410 I, I, know who I am. 351 00:16:20,443 --> 00:16:23,209 What? Now we’re locked in here with no bathroom?! 352 00:16:25,010 --> 00:16:27,476 No longer mellow yellow, K. Trevor gets flushed 353 00:16:27,510 --> 00:16:28,810 by Tom Green. 354 00:16:28,843 --> 00:16:30,910 That’s three people Tom’s eliminated. 355 00:16:30,943 --> 00:16:33,410 We’re now down to five. 356 00:16:34,610 --> 00:16:35,877 Here we go again. 357 00:16:42,276 --> 00:16:44,910 We got a little, uh, mid episode replacement. 358 00:16:44,943 --> 00:16:48,109 K. Trevor Wilson’s bid adieu. 359 00:16:48,143 --> 00:16:52,309 Uh, please welcome to the stage Colin Mochrie’s... 360 00:16:52,343 --> 00:16:53,710 puppet. 361 00:16:53,743 --> 00:16:55,209 - C’mon everybody! - Wooo. 362 00:16:55,243 --> 00:16:56,376 We’re bringing him up to the stage. 363 00:16:56,410 --> 00:16:58,243 Alright! There he is. 364 00:17:00,176 --> 00:17:02,977 My marionette. A fan made it for me. 365 00:17:03,010 --> 00:17:04,443 {\an8}Although I think it kinda looks more like 366 00:17:04,476 --> 00:17:07,143 {\an8}Colm Feore than me but whatever. 367 00:17:07,176 --> 00:17:08,810 So nice to, uh, be here Andrew. 368 00:17:08,843 --> 00:17:10,109 Very, very happy to be here. 369 00:17:10,143 --> 00:17:12,309 It’s so great having you, you know, you, uh, 370 00:17:12,343 --> 00:17:14,376 your career has spanned many, many years 371 00:17:14,410 --> 00:17:16,643 and you are here with, uh, with a new project. 372 00:17:16,676 --> 00:17:18,977 - Yes. - Say no more. Roll that clip. 373 00:17:19,010 --> 00:17:20,043 Alright. 374 00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:24,810 It’s a man, uh, with a condom. 375 00:17:24,843 --> 00:17:26,309 Mmm. 376 00:17:26,343 --> 00:17:30,176 ...who goes back in time to stop the birth of Tom Green’s sister. 377 00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:34,243 Tom doesn’t wanna laugh. 378 00:17:34,276 --> 00:17:37,109 And I guess what gave you the inspiration for that idea? 379 00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:38,309 Uh, Tom Green. 380 00:17:41,710 --> 00:17:44,543 He actually had, um, invested in a grant to study, 381 00:17:44,576 --> 00:17:46,010 - uh, time travel... - Oh damn. 382 00:17:46,043 --> 00:17:47,176 ...so in fact he could go back 383 00:17:47,209 --> 00:17:49,810 and stop the birth of his sister, 384 00:17:49,843 --> 00:17:53,476 so he could get the inheritance 385 00:17:53,510 --> 00:17:57,576 to make his delicious cheese sandwiches. 386 00:17:57,610 --> 00:18:01,943 - Delicious cheese sandwiches. - Oh! 387 00:18:01,977 --> 00:18:08,276 - Delicious cheese sandwiches. - Delicious cheese sandwiches. 388 00:18:09,843 --> 00:18:16,910 ♪ Delicious cheese sandwiches Delicious cheese sandwiches ♪ 389 00:18:16,943 --> 00:18:18,076 The weirdest cult ever. 390 00:18:21,676 --> 00:18:24,343 I don’t consider myself a piano player but... 391 00:18:24,376 --> 00:18:26,010 I do like to tinkle on the ivories. 392 00:18:28,643 --> 00:18:30,010 Take that however you want. 393 00:18:30,043 --> 00:18:32,676 ♪ My bum is on the dog My bum is on the cat ♪ 394 00:18:32,710 --> 00:18:35,977 ♪ My bum is on the phone My bum is all alone ♪ 395 00:18:36,010 --> 00:18:37,910 I wrote the piano part, too. 396 00:18:37,943 --> 00:18:40,643 It’s great. It’s great. 397 00:18:45,376 --> 00:18:46,810 - Hello? - Hello? 398 00:18:46,843 --> 00:18:48,643 What’s up? You wanted something? 399 00:18:48,676 --> 00:18:52,510 Yeah, um, okay, yeah sure. 400 00:18:52,543 --> 00:18:53,977 - No. Don’t do this to me. - Yeah, yeah yeah. 401 00:18:54,010 --> 00:18:55,476 Don’t do this to me again. 402 00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:57,943 - No, that’s not a problem. - Don’t do this to me again. 403 00:18:57,977 --> 00:19:00,476 Yeah, it’s a little hard for this show 404 00:19:00,510 --> 00:19:02,610 but, uh, we need new jokes in here. 405 00:19:02,643 --> 00:19:03,843 You piece of shit. 406 00:19:03,877 --> 00:19:04,843 Yeah, you too, buddy. 407 00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:07,376 - You piece of shit. - You too. Yeah. 408 00:19:09,376 --> 00:19:11,143 I’ll see you, too. Alright. Bye bye. 409 00:19:11,176 --> 00:19:13,610 Um, so eh, Tom just for one second, uh, 410 00:19:13,643 --> 00:19:17,243 Jay, he’s like ok it’s getting a little slow in here. 411 00:19:17,276 --> 00:19:18,610 He wants to tell one joke. 412 00:19:18,643 --> 00:19:20,410 Fucking hell. 413 00:19:20,443 --> 00:19:22,443 God Dammit man. 414 00:19:22,476 --> 00:19:25,343 So, uh, Jay... it’s not my joke, 415 00:19:25,376 --> 00:19:27,410 Uh, he says, eh, 416 00:19:27,443 --> 00:19:31,043 "Hey cancel culture’s getting outta hand, huh?" 417 00:19:33,209 --> 00:19:35,343 Yeah, I mean, look, I get it. 418 00:19:35,376 --> 00:19:38,243 Some people deserve to be cancelled 419 00:19:38,276 --> 00:19:40,943 but I mean, Harvey Weinstein? 420 00:19:48,076 --> 00:19:49,276 Yeah, they’re not laughing? 421 00:19:49,309 --> 00:19:51,376 Yeah. Well, we’re not supposed to. 422 00:19:51,410 --> 00:19:52,643 Yeah. Okay. 423 00:19:52,676 --> 00:19:54,643 Yeah, I’ll try one later, another one later. 424 00:19:54,676 --> 00:19:56,143 Yeah, you just call me if you have more jokes. 425 00:19:56,176 --> 00:19:58,109 Okay, bye bye. 426 00:19:58,143 --> 00:19:59,610 Dammit! 427 00:20:01,510 --> 00:20:04,010 Uh oh. Who is it? 428 00:20:04,043 --> 00:20:06,276 - Uh oh! - Uh oh! 429 00:20:06,309 --> 00:20:08,076 - Who’s that? - Pizza? 430 00:20:08,109 --> 00:20:08,977 - Uh oh. - Oh my gosh. 431 00:20:09,010 --> 00:20:10,943 Oh. 432 00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:14,076 Oh well look who it is. 433 00:20:14,109 --> 00:20:15,243 You asshole. 434 00:20:15,276 --> 00:20:18,376 {\an8}You asshole. 435 00:20:18,410 --> 00:20:20,977 The man who just walked in is one of my best friends, 436 00:20:21,010 --> 00:20:22,510 Paul Sun-Hyung Lee. 437 00:20:22,543 --> 00:20:25,510 My co-star in Kim’s Convenience. 438 00:20:25,543 --> 00:20:27,043 He’s coming after me! 439 00:20:27,076 --> 00:20:28,743 That’s like a really weird hallway. 440 00:20:28,777 --> 00:20:29,810 Yeah. It is. 441 00:20:29,843 --> 00:20:31,343 It’s like right outta Resident Evil. 442 00:20:34,076 --> 00:20:36,109 Uh, I’m sorry I’m late. I have the pizzas. 443 00:20:36,143 --> 00:20:37,910 Oh, I’ll, I’ll take them. 444 00:20:37,943 --> 00:20:38,977 Ohhhhhh.... 445 00:20:39,010 --> 00:20:40,309 Oh boy. 446 00:20:40,343 --> 00:20:41,743 Don’t worry. 447 00:20:41,777 --> 00:20:43,143 But, uh, it’s still good! It’s, it’s, still good. 448 00:20:43,176 --> 00:20:44,543 - Yeah. - Oh yeah? 449 00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:45,476 The whole, like this, is just... 450 00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:46,610 - Wow. Wow. - Ooh. 451 00:20:46,643 --> 00:20:47,543 There you go. Perfect. 452 00:20:47,576 --> 00:20:49,010 Here. Let me give you a hand. 453 00:20:49,043 --> 00:20:51,243 Yes. Thank you. 454 00:20:54,410 --> 00:20:58,343 It’s all good, it’s all good, it’s cool. 455 00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:01,877 You though! I know you! 456 00:21:05,410 --> 00:21:08,343 Is this it? 457 00:21:08,376 --> 00:21:10,877 I loved you in Kim’s Cornerstore. 458 00:21:10,910 --> 00:21:12,710 Thank you. I played the dad. On the show. 459 00:21:12,743 --> 00:21:13,943 - The dad? - The dad. I played the... 460 00:21:13,977 --> 00:21:15,010 - He’s a hack. - I played the father. 461 00:21:15,043 --> 00:21:16,143 - The father? - Yeah. 462 00:21:16,176 --> 00:21:17,510 What a fucking faker that guy was. Ho ho. 463 00:21:17,543 --> 00:21:18,543 No, no, no I played the dad. 464 00:21:18,576 --> 00:21:19,810 He was the biggest piece of shit. 465 00:21:19,843 --> 00:21:21,543 That accent that he fucking used? 466 00:21:21,576 --> 00:21:23,910 Holy shit! I couldn’t believe that. 467 00:21:23,943 --> 00:21:25,610 Jon walked off camera. 468 00:21:25,643 --> 00:21:28,309 Oh, Jon, Jon’s been slowly losing it. 469 00:21:28,343 --> 00:21:29,877 Jon’s teetering on the edge. 470 00:21:29,910 --> 00:21:30,810 - You, sir! - Mmmm hmmm. 471 00:21:30,843 --> 00:21:31,977 Could use a slice of pizza. 472 00:21:32,010 --> 00:21:33,143 Mmmm hmmm. 473 00:21:33,176 --> 00:21:34,543 C’mon, Jon, have a slice of pizza. 474 00:21:34,576 --> 00:21:36,209 Get in there. Get in there, brother. 475 00:21:36,243 --> 00:21:37,877 - There you go. - Ooh ok. 476 00:21:37,910 --> 00:21:40,743 - From the hand... - Yeah. Yeah. 477 00:21:40,777 --> 00:21:43,343 That is so nice. There you go. 478 00:21:43,376 --> 00:21:45,076 - Mmmm. - Oh. Very good. Yeah! 479 00:21:45,109 --> 00:21:46,676 Mmmm. 480 00:21:46,710 --> 00:21:48,576 A little Delta variant for ya there. 481 00:21:52,543 --> 00:21:54,109 I gotta go, thank you gentlemen so much. 482 00:21:54,143 --> 00:21:55,276 - Very good. - Great seeing you. 483 00:21:55,309 --> 00:21:56,743 Again, I’m sorry for the pizzas. 484 00:21:56,777 --> 00:22:00,443 Um, there is the matter of, uh, a tip? 485 00:22:00,476 --> 00:22:02,510 A tip. Hmmm. 486 00:22:02,543 --> 00:22:05,376 I’ll give you this titty? 487 00:22:07,010 --> 00:22:08,309 There’s some of this slice left? 488 00:22:08,343 --> 00:22:10,209 Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn’t eat that though. 489 00:22:10,243 --> 00:22:11,476 Alright, thanks so much. 490 00:22:11,510 --> 00:22:12,877 We didn’t catch your name by the way, 491 00:22:12,910 --> 00:22:13,710 what’s, eh, what’s your name? 492 00:22:13,743 --> 00:22:14,877 What’s your name, yeah? 493 00:22:14,910 --> 00:22:16,043 Andrew Phung. 494 00:22:16,076 --> 00:22:17,276 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 495 00:22:17,309 --> 00:22:20,176 Andrew. Nice meeting you. 496 00:22:20,209 --> 00:22:21,476 - That was awesome. - Bye Andrew. 497 00:22:21,510 --> 00:22:24,043 Ooh. Ooh. 498 00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:26,343 Yeah. That almost rocked me. That almost rocked me. 499 00:22:26,376 --> 00:22:27,643 Ooh. 500 00:22:32,543 --> 00:22:35,343 At this point Brandon has not laughed. 501 00:22:35,376 --> 00:22:37,243 I didn’t know where to go. 502 00:22:37,276 --> 00:22:40,176 {\an8}I’d gone from all my classic bits 503 00:22:40,209 --> 00:22:42,610 to like just shouting at Brandon, 504 00:22:42,643 --> 00:22:43,643 this far from his face! 505 00:22:43,676 --> 00:22:45,777 And still nothing. 506 00:22:45,810 --> 00:22:47,010 Hi Brandon. Brandon. Come over here. 507 00:22:47,043 --> 00:22:48,309 Okay. 508 00:22:48,343 --> 00:22:51,209 I’m going to do the speech from the movie "Taken". 509 00:22:51,243 --> 00:22:52,043 Oooh. Oooh. 510 00:22:52,076 --> 00:22:54,043 Starring, uh, Liam Neeson. 511 00:22:54,076 --> 00:22:55,076 - Oh yeah. - Let me take a seat. 512 00:22:55,109 --> 00:22:56,777 But I’m gonna do it as Elmer Fudd. 513 00:22:56,810 --> 00:22:58,543 - Okay. - Mmmm. 514 00:23:00,710 --> 00:23:02,510 I’m just trying to find anything, 515 00:23:02,543 --> 00:23:04,543 that’s going to do anything, any kind of a reaction. 516 00:23:05,877 --> 00:23:07,309 Imagine he’s on the phone. 517 00:23:07,343 --> 00:23:10,243 I don’t know who you are. 518 00:23:10,276 --> 00:23:12,410 I don’t know what you want. 519 00:23:12,443 --> 00:23:16,443 If you want ransom, I don’t have any money. 520 00:23:16,476 --> 00:23:19,376 What I do have is 521 00:23:19,410 --> 00:23:24,543 a very particular set of skills. 522 00:23:24,576 --> 00:23:29,610 Skills that will be a nightmare for someone like you. 523 00:23:32,309 --> 00:23:33,376 Oh, wow. 524 00:23:33,410 --> 00:23:34,943 Oh, that’s right, you’re here! 525 00:23:37,343 --> 00:23:42,777 If you let my daughter go now, I will not follow you. 526 00:23:43,843 --> 00:23:44,610 Oh my God. 527 00:23:44,643 --> 00:23:48,209 But if you do not... 528 00:23:48,243 --> 00:23:51,476 I will look for you. 529 00:23:51,510 --> 00:23:55,376 I will find you 530 00:23:55,410 --> 00:23:59,010 and I will kill you. 531 00:23:59,043 --> 00:24:01,243 Oh my God! 532 00:24:07,510 --> 00:24:09,410 Tom is very Jack Nicholson 533 00:24:09,443 --> 00:24:10,943 in the final third of The Shining right now. 534 00:24:10,977 --> 00:24:11,943 Yes! 535 00:24:11,977 --> 00:24:12,943 He’s starting to, he’s turning. 536 00:24:16,476 --> 00:24:17,910 Are you alright? 537 00:24:17,943 --> 00:24:19,410 I got a little too into it there. 538 00:24:19,443 --> 00:24:22,076 That’s alright would you like a... 539 00:24:22,109 --> 00:24:26,276 Delicious cheese sandwich? 540 00:24:26,309 --> 00:24:27,676 - Sandwiches... - Don’t you. Don’t. Don’t. 541 00:24:27,710 --> 00:24:30,476 - A delicious Kraft cheese? - No. No! 542 00:24:30,510 --> 00:24:32,610 - Maybe cheddar? - Colin Mochrie. 543 00:24:32,643 --> 00:24:34,943 - Maybe some nice old cheese? - Don’t you with your cheese. 544 00:24:34,977 --> 00:24:36,010 Between two pieces of bread. 545 00:24:36,043 --> 00:24:37,576 Don’t you with your cheese sandwich. 546 00:24:41,010 --> 00:24:42,510 Delicious... Cheese... 547 00:24:42,543 --> 00:24:45,643 Don’t you dare with your cheese sandwich! 548 00:24:45,676 --> 00:24:47,610 Delicious cheese! 549 00:24:47,643 --> 00:24:49,643 How dare you, Colin Mochrie, 550 00:24:49,676 --> 00:24:53,076 with your cheese sandwich kryptonite. 551 00:24:54,977 --> 00:24:56,309 You know the chink in my armour. 552 00:24:56,343 --> 00:24:58,243 My Achilles’ heel. 553 00:24:58,276 --> 00:25:00,309 Delicious cheese. Delicious cheese. 554 00:25:00,343 --> 00:25:01,543 The delicious cheese sandwich! 555 00:25:01,576 --> 00:25:02,610 ...sandwiches. Sandwiches. Delicious. 556 00:25:02,643 --> 00:25:03,977 Delicious cheese sandwich! 557 00:25:04,010 --> 00:25:05,977 Jon’s holding on for dear life. 558 00:25:06,010 --> 00:25:07,209 He’s got a yellow card, doesn’t he? 559 00:25:07,243 --> 00:25:08,977 Yeah, he does have a yellow. 560 00:25:09,010 --> 00:25:10,610 This is insanity. 561 00:25:10,643 --> 00:25:12,676 And you have to not laugh? 562 00:25:12,710 --> 00:25:15,076 Impossible. So I’m screwed. 563 00:25:15,109 --> 00:25:16,910 {\an8}It’s the delicious cheese sandwich! 564 00:25:18,143 --> 00:25:19,977 {\an8}♪ Gimme a pen, so I can begin ♪ 565 00:25:20,010 --> 00:25:22,109 {\an8}♪ To write a new rhyme, start a new trend ♪ 566 00:25:22,143 --> 00:25:23,443 {\an8}♪ Sound the alarm, I’m dropping a bomb ♪ 567 00:25:23,476 --> 00:25:26,643 {\an8}♪ Giving ya flashbacks ...like Vietnam ♪ 568 00:25:26,676 --> 00:25:27,877 {\an8}♪ You wanna rhyme like mine? ♪ 569 00:25:27,910 --> 00:25:29,143 {\an8}I can’t stop shitting. 570 00:25:29,176 --> 00:25:31,143 {\an8}I shit my pants thirty seconds ago. 571 00:25:36,810 --> 00:25:38,443 {\an8}Owww. Oh man. 572 00:25:38,476 --> 00:25:39,543 Holy crap. 573 00:25:39,576 --> 00:25:41,276 {\an8}That really hurt. 574 00:25:41,309 --> 00:25:42,743 {\an8}- Oh! - Oh! 575 00:25:42,777 --> 00:25:43,943 {\an8}- - Oh boy. 576 00:25:43,977 --> 00:25:45,610 {\an8}- Who’s gone? Who is it? - I don’t know. 577 00:25:45,643 --> 00:25:48,576 {\an8}- Is it me? - Red carded and out. 578 00:25:48,610 --> 00:25:50,010 {\an8}Oh.