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警告

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本集節目內容包含了
緊塑身衣、假皮草

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以及其他的怪異材質

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請觀眾斟酌收看

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{\an8}本節目製作過程中
沒有松鼠受到傷害

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{\an8}笑匠生死鬥:決戰加拿大

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我喜歡好吃的起司三明治

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很好吃

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00:00:33,376 --> 00:00:37,576
我喜歡好吃的起司三明治

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00:00:37,643 --> 00:00:39,376
有人笑了,對吧?

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沒錯

12
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什麼?

13
00:00:45,276 --> 00:00:46,710
接連出局

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00:00:50,209 --> 00:00:52,343
我吉他的音好像不準

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這...

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笑聲警報!

17
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好吧,我們一起來看看,請播影片

18
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我喜歡好吃的起司三明治

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很好吃

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{\an8}我喜歡好吃的起司三明治

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{\an8}–梅
–很難發現

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我知道我會因為距離而笑場

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–雖然很不明顯,但也是笑
–其實很明顯

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這是本場比賽的第二張紅牌,各位

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看看我這失望的表情

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我發現起司三明治是妳的弱點

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–我只好試試看了
–只是遲早的問題而已

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我們很快會再見面的

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祝大家好運

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好吃的起司三明治

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好吃的起司三明治

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好吃的起司三明治

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好吃的起司三明治

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再見,梅,一路好走

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聽著,妳有什麼想法?妳心情如何?

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我全身都濕透了

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我笑了

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整個狀況都很荒謬,然後湯姆...

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{\an8}梅馬丁

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{\an8}他一開始重複“好吃的起司三明治”

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我就失控了

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梅馬丁是第二個被淘汰的人

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也是第一個受害於
湯姆格林的扭曲才華的人

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00:02:19,443 --> 00:02:21,143
剩下八名諧星

45
00:02:21,843 --> 00:02:24,076
還是藍色,我們還可以微笑吧?

46
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我們還可以微笑,找樂子,享受...

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放輕鬆,好好對待彼此

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我很開心能微笑一分鐘

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好好享受能微笑的時刻吧

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我的天啊

51
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妳快笑出來的表情很可愛

52
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我從頭到尾都一直快笑出來
我不知道他們是怎麼辦到的

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開始了

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來了,是他們買得起的便宜音效

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妳們覺得結果會怎樣?

56
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我覺得大衛應該不會笑

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大衛一直都是似笑非笑的狀態

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沒錯

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勒加是黑馬

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–你覺得是嗎?
–對

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00:03:05,243 --> 00:03:09,843
我覺得湯姆會贏
我看過湯姆板著臉講很好笑的笑話

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我覺得他現在非常性感
他是不是瘋了?

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我覺得是

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我也覺得是

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到現在

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{\an8}強勒加

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{\an8}我開始有點信心了
因為我撐了這麼久

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但每個人都很危險

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你好

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你這樣很漂亮

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大衛、湯姆格林和柯林
都從小就開始逗我笑了

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他們想逗我笑的時候
我也從來沒忍住不笑過

73
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所以我跟他們在同一個空間
我卻不能笑

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我該怎麼辦?

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這個狀況非常奇怪

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我要表演一個搞笑橋段

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–好
–天啊

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希望你們會覺得好笑

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好

80
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–好,來吧
–這就是我們需要的

81
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你是從哪裡冒出來的?

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我就在這裡

83
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這個小暗門一直都在嗎?

84
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–對
–真的嗎?

85
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好,這是我最喜歡的恐怖片
裡面的一個橋段

86
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好

87
00:04:19,076 --> 00:04:21,343
–想像這是黑白畫面
–好

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等等

89
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–好
–有了

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聽起來很棒

91
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蘇西,妳知道我非常愛妳

92
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今晚是滿月

93
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我的天啊

94
00:04:34,010 --> 00:04:36,276
我有一件事得告訴妳

95
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我幾年前在賓州的時候

96
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我走在森林裡被咬了

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我被一隻松鼠咬了

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我不是被普通的松鼠咬

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是被受了詛咒的松鼠咬

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所以現在每到滿月的時候

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我就會變成...

102
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我的天啊

103
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我這眼看得到顏色

104
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想想不好的想法

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{\an8}受詛咒的松鼠

106
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{\an8}真的太蠢了

107
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那套蠢服裝是我看過最好笑的東西

108
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我唯一能忍住笑的方式
就是咬自己的嘴唇

109
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看看小黛

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好吃的起司三明治

111
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天啊

112
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好吃的起司三明治

113
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松鼠人的橋段太好笑了

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所以我只能嘟起嘴巴

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而且不知道為什麼睜大雙眼

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也有幫助

117
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好吃的起司三明治

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好

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對,我也是在想這個

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我也是在想這個,對

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尤其是柯林在耍蠢的時候

122
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{\an8}我很難不笑出來

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好吃的起司三明治

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看看湯姆,看看湯姆的表情

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–好吃的起司三明治
–好

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真蠢

127
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大隻佬崔佛麻煩大了

128
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很舒服,我喜歡

129
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天啊

130
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謝謝,結束

131
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天啊

132
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–謝謝
–天啊

133
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我的天啊

134
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太棒了

135
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這是我今天距離笑出來最近的一次

136
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柯林馬克里非常荒謬

137
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所以對我來說很困難,因為我很愛笑

138
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{\an8}是真的,我很遜,這是我的撲克臉

139
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我撐了多久?

140
00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:26,043
我要做好吃的麵包球

141
00:07:26,109 --> 00:07:28,443
我很容易笑,這是我的罩門

142
00:07:28,510 --> 00:07:31,943
{\an8}我自己一個人洗澡時就會笑
我常常都會笑

143
00:07:32,010 --> 00:07:36,877
所以我要集中精神
盡可能嚴肅看待這件事

144
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一定要很用心才可以

145
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因為有些人都會說自己吃不出差別

146
00:07:45,243 --> 00:07:47,710
但是麵包的材料就是這樣

147
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安德魯在跟誰講話?

148
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充滿了無限可能

149
00:07:53,109 --> 00:07:54,910
我要把這個捲起來

150
00:07:54,977 --> 00:07:58,777
因為不會有人抱怨起司太多

151
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他媽的

152
00:08:02,576 --> 00:08:04,810
安德魯沒有露出一絲笑容

153
00:08:04,877 --> 00:08:06,810
他一定會撐很久

154
00:08:06,877 --> 00:08:09,777
他假裝我們都是種族歧視者
這樣他才能活下來

155
00:08:14,209 --> 00:08:15,643
“假裝”,對吧?

156
00:08:19,943 --> 00:08:21,309
妳想按紅色按鈕嗎?

157
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:22,510
想,可以嗎?

158
00:08:25,076 --> 00:08:27,276
有可能是我

159
00:08:28,076 --> 00:08:29,743
我要去執法了

160
00:08:31,443 --> 00:08:32,910
真是的

161
00:08:32,977 --> 00:08:35,309
可能是我,我不確定

162
00:08:37,443 --> 00:08:41,143
壞消息,各位,我又發現有人犯規了

163
00:08:41,209 --> 00:08:42,543
糟糕

164
00:08:42,610 --> 00:08:43,977
天啊

165
00:08:44,043 --> 00:08:45,743
有很多人都很心虛

166
00:08:45,810 --> 00:08:48,243
請看電視吧

167
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他假裝我們都是種族歧視者
這樣他才能活下來

168
00:08:53,810 --> 00:08:55,209
{\an8}“假裝”,對吧?

169
00:08:58,010 --> 00:08:59,643
{\an8}他撐了好久

170
00:09:02,510 --> 00:09:05,576
喜劇的重點就是要出其不意

171
00:09:06,209 --> 00:09:10,676
我沒有料到,結果就被逗笑了
我確確實實被逗笑了

172
00:09:10,743 --> 00:09:13,510
–崔佛拿到了黃牌
–是

173
00:09:15,610 --> 00:09:16,777
但等一下

174
00:09:18,877 --> 00:09:19,710
不只如此

175
00:09:21,243 --> 00:09:22,910
充滿了無限可能

176
00:09:22,977 --> 00:09:25,076
我要把這個捲起來

177
00:09:25,143 --> 00:09:28,877
{\an8}因為不會有人抱怨起司太多

178
00:09:31,443 --> 00:09:32,843
我的黃牌...

179
00:09:32,910 --> 00:09:35,043
希望你覺得值得

180
00:09:35,109 --> 00:09:39,309
我因為自己太蠢

181
00:09:39,376 --> 00:09:42,710
我在對我自己搞笑

182
00:09:42,777 --> 00:09:46,676
還把自己逗笑了

183
00:09:46,743 --> 00:09:48,877
你拿到了黃牌

184
00:09:48,943 --> 00:09:50,643
自黃

185
00:09:55,443 --> 00:09:56,943
所以一定要很小心

186
00:09:57,010 --> 00:09:58,676
一定要很小心

187
00:09:58,743 --> 00:10:00,710
這樣拿黃牌太慘了

188
00:10:00,777 --> 00:10:02,943
這等於是謀殺後自殺

189
00:10:04,309 --> 00:10:07,543
{\an8}K崔佛和安德魯都被發了黃牌

190
00:10:07,610 --> 00:10:10,243
{\an8}跟黛布拉和大衛一起身處危險地帶

191
00:10:12,676 --> 00:10:13,877
靠

192
00:10:21,710 --> 00:10:23,243
湯姆,你要做什麼?

193
00:10:23,309 --> 00:10:29,209
我要做好吃的起司三明治

194
00:10:29,977 --> 00:10:31,309
天啊,來了

195
00:10:31,376 --> 00:10:33,843
他又要做起司三明治了

196
00:10:33,910 --> 00:10:35,877
我已經吃了一個,非常好吃

197
00:10:35,943 --> 00:10:37,710
對,我如果...

198
00:10:40,710 --> 00:10:43,376
你差點讓我害到自己了,柯林

199
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:47,043
你差點讓我被自己的
好吃的起司三明治害到了

200
00:10:47,109 --> 00:10:48,276
小心點,湯姆

201
00:10:48,343 --> 00:10:49,943
狀況非常危險

202
00:10:51,543 --> 00:10:54,376
好吃的起司三明治

203
00:10:56,777 --> 00:10:58,676
對諧星來說最好笑的

204
00:10:58,743 --> 00:11:01,943
{\an8}就是聽到別人說自己的梗

205
00:11:02,010 --> 00:11:04,343
{\an8}所以我認為這可能是他的弱點

206
00:11:05,410 --> 00:11:08,109
是,你可能找到了我的死穴

207
00:11:08,176 --> 00:11:11,043
好吃的起司...

208
00:11:14,109 --> 00:11:15,877
小黛一直在笑

209
00:11:15,943 --> 00:11:18,410
對,她完蛋了,她不太可能獲勝

210
00:11:20,343 --> 00:11:23,010
“好吃的起司三明治”
用法語要怎麼說?

211
00:11:26,710 --> 00:11:32,309
我稍微加油添醋了一下,應該是...

212
00:11:37,343 --> 00:11:40,810
–很接近,但是要...
–我講起來有點像拉丁語

213
00:11:45,109 --> 00:11:46,243
對

214
00:11:49,343 --> 00:11:51,877
來了,我如果在裡面一定會笑

215
00:11:52,576 --> 00:11:54,843
我本來要用法語說火腿

216
00:11:54,910 --> 00:11:57,243
你的發音太溫柔

217
00:12:01,043 --> 00:12:02,676
“我叫醬爆

218
00:12:02,743 --> 00:12:07,376
“我是來接管摩森拉巴特工廠的!”

219
00:12:09,443 --> 00:12:12,443
–是個壞人
–我覺得很像喬治洛佩茲

220
00:12:12,510 --> 00:12:14,543
不對,喬治是...

221
00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:17,109
“大家日安,我是喬治洛佩茲!”

222
00:12:17,176 --> 00:12:19,043
“大家日安”?

223
00:12:27,043 --> 00:12:28,643
我的天啊

224
00:12:28,710 --> 00:12:29,543
靠

225
00:12:29,610 --> 00:12:32,276
–他馬上就發現了
–又來了

226
00:12:42,343 --> 00:12:43,476
會是哪個呢?

227
00:12:47,910 --> 00:12:48,910
好

228
00:12:52,109 --> 00:12:55,443
你們其中一個人失守了
但我們想辦法守住了

229
00:12:57,710 --> 00:13:01,810
我不太懂是什麼意思,但請看電視

230
00:13:02,309 --> 00:13:04,443
我本來要用法語說火腿

231
00:13:04,510 --> 00:13:06,943
你的發音太溫柔

232
00:13:07,010 --> 00:13:10,276
{\an8}“我叫醬爆
我是來接管摩森拉巴特工廠的!”

233
00:13:10,343 --> 00:13:11,910
{\an8}我覺得很像喬治洛佩茲

234
00:13:11,977 --> 00:13:13,010
{\an8}喬治是...

235
00:13:13,076 --> 00:13:15,543
{\an8}“大家日安,我是喬治洛佩茲!”

236
00:13:15,610 --> 00:13:17,176
{\an8}“大家日安”?

237
00:13:28,643 --> 00:13:30,710
強勒加被發了黃牌

238
00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:32,343
謝謝,好

239
00:13:32,410 --> 00:13:34,443
等等,還沒結束

240
00:13:34,510 --> 00:13:35,510
–不
–好

241
00:13:35,576 --> 00:13:37,777
–還有另一個人犯規了
–靠

242
00:13:40,510 --> 00:13:41,777
請看電視

243
00:13:43,243 --> 00:13:44,676
{\an8}湯姆,你要做什麼?

244
00:13:44,743 --> 00:13:49,476
{\an8}好吃的起司三明治

245
00:13:49,543 --> 00:13:51,176
{\an8}天啊,來了

246
00:13:51,243 --> 00:13:53,843
{\an8}好吃的起司三明治

247
00:13:58,777 --> 00:13:59,810
不!

248
00:14:00,877 --> 00:14:05,243
據我所知
我應該得他媽發紅牌給妳了

249
00:14:07,943 --> 00:14:09,243
好吧!

250
00:14:09,309 --> 00:14:13,543
黛布拉,請跟大家道別
跟我一起到休息室去

251
00:14:13,610 --> 00:14:15,209
我就知道會是你

252
00:14:15,276 --> 00:14:18,743
是柯林!可惡!他太好笑了

253
00:14:20,576 --> 00:14:23,209
雖然這樣講很陳腔濫調
但大家都是贏家

254
00:14:23,276 --> 00:14:25,443
我們知道我們會玩得很開心

255
00:14:25,510 --> 00:14:28,476
但我早就知道害我出局的人會是他
我早就知道

256
00:14:28,543 --> 00:14:32,076
{\an8}黛布拉的紅牌
讓她拿到了前往小屋的單程票

257
00:14:32,143 --> 00:14:33,576
多虧了柯林馬克里

258
00:14:33,643 --> 00:14:36,777
他也害強被發黃牌,陷入危險之境

259
00:14:37,343 --> 00:14:38,743
妳們好

260
00:14:39,309 --> 00:14:41,010
–這裡很棒
–對吧?

261
00:14:41,076 --> 00:14:42,010
–妳好,親愛的
–所以...

262
00:14:42,076 --> 00:14:44,443
–天啊
–妳們得挪一下位子了

263
00:14:44,510 --> 00:14:46,843
藍光還會亮16個小時嗎?

264
00:14:51,510 --> 00:14:52,476
好

265
00:14:53,710 --> 00:14:54,643
開始了

266
00:14:55,276 --> 00:14:57,610
現在真的是不折不扣的屌趴了

267
00:15:04,276 --> 00:15:05,243
來吧

268
00:15:05,309 --> 00:15:08,910
靠,來了
布蘭登要表演他的橋段了

269
00:15:08,977 --> 00:15:10,376
一定要很好笑

270
00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:11,810
一定要是蒂娜透納

271
00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:13,743
我要表演

272
00:15:15,410 --> 00:15:17,777
很可愛,我喜歡

273
00:15:17,843 --> 00:15:19,943
人類接觸

274
00:15:20,010 --> 00:15:22,410
我覺得我的橋段適合所有人

275
00:15:22,476 --> 00:15:23,610
{\an8}布蘭登阿什穆罕默德

276
00:15:23,676 --> 00:15:26,810
{\an8}我知道不是每個白人直男都會喜歡

277
00:15:26,877 --> 00:15:30,043
但我想試試看能不能把他們逗笑

278
00:15:30,109 --> 00:15:33,510
好,大家好

279
00:15:33,576 --> 00:15:35,943
我是布蘭登阿什穆罕默德

280
00:15:36,943 --> 00:15:37,943
很好

281
00:15:38,010 --> 00:15:42,877
但你們或許聽說過
我是能迷倒很多男人的大女孩

282
00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:46,276
很多人認為想找到白馬王子

283
00:15:46,343 --> 00:15:48,610
就要先減重,對吧?

284
00:15:48,676 --> 00:15:51,777
–我有聽說過
–但我覺得不對

285
00:15:51,843 --> 00:15:52,710
很好

286
00:15:52,777 --> 00:15:55,410
我今天要教大家能讓男生濕濕的

287
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:58,309
吃東西方式

288
00:15:58,376 --> 00:15:59,676
好嗎,各位?

289
00:15:59,743 --> 00:16:00,910
濕濕

290
00:16:00,977 --> 00:16:03,243
準備好衛生紙,好

291
00:16:03,676 --> 00:16:04,977
濕濕是指射精嗎?

292
00:16:05,043 --> 00:16:06,476
是前列腺液

293
00:16:06,543 --> 00:16:07,877
前列腺液

294
00:16:09,043 --> 00:16:11,243
濕濕是指前列腺液?

295
00:16:13,309 --> 00:16:16,076
第一招要用到的

296
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:19,343
是洋芋片和椅子,任何零食都可以

297
00:16:19,410 --> 00:16:22,410
要用誘惑的方式坐著

298
00:16:22,476 --> 00:16:24,309
–很好,爸爸
–這個椅子好硬

299
00:16:24,376 --> 00:16:26,309
–很好
–我的天啊

300
00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:27,977
然後就丟到地上

301
00:16:28,043 --> 00:16:32,176
然後就砰,摸肉肉...

302
00:16:32,243 --> 00:16:33,410
摸吧

303
00:16:33,476 --> 00:16:36,109
讓現場所有人的內褲都濕答答

304
00:16:39,710 --> 00:16:41,343
接下來是最後的一招

305
00:16:41,410 --> 00:16:45,076
在夜店跟帥哥聊天的時候

306
00:16:45,143 --> 00:16:48,676
–吃香蕉
–我常在夜店吃香蕉

307
00:16:48,743 --> 00:16:51,977
香蕉可能掉了,但我很在乎健身

308
00:16:52,043 --> 00:16:52,977
對

309
00:16:53,043 --> 00:16:55,443
我想把香蕉放進嘴裡,然後就砰!

310
00:16:55,510 --> 00:16:56,676
很好

311
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:03,309
{\an8}他非常努力
但我太老了,已經見怪不怪

312
00:17:03,376 --> 00:17:05,010
{\an8}我看過太空人登月

313
00:17:05,076 --> 00:17:07,043
在那之後就沒什麼新鮮事了

314
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:12,309
–砰!
–讓現場所有人的內褲都濕答答

315
00:17:12,376 --> 00:17:13,710
太誇張了

316
00:17:13,777 --> 00:17:16,309
我從來沒上過日本遊戲節目

317
00:17:16,376 --> 00:17:19,943
但我覺得這應該是
全加拿大最接近的東西了

318
00:17:21,510 --> 00:17:23,610
謝謝

319
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:25,109
很好

320
00:17:25,176 --> 00:17:27,810
不只有鉀還有翹臀

321
00:17:27,877 --> 00:17:28,777
謝謝

322
00:17:28,843 --> 00:17:32,877
這套有氧運動能讓你有吃不完的屌

323
00:17:36,343 --> 00:17:37,309
謝謝

324
00:17:37,376 --> 00:17:38,510
很好!

325
00:17:38,576 --> 00:17:40,376
這內容非常有幫助

326
00:17:44,343 --> 00:17:45,376
湯姆!

327
00:17:46,943 --> 00:17:48,877
我的天啊

328
00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:49,977
湯姆

329
00:17:50,810 --> 00:17:53,543
我好像讓湯姆格林質疑了自己的性向

330
00:17:53,610 --> 00:17:55,877
這就是我的願望,這是我的目標

331
00:17:55,943 --> 00:17:58,777
很特別,非常特別

332
00:17:58,843 --> 00:18:01,176
我要去上一下廁所

333
00:18:01,843 --> 00:18:05,810
好,各位,抱歉打擾,有人餓了嗎?

334
00:18:05,877 --> 00:18:08,410
–我想吃午餐
–時間不會暫停嗎?

335
00:18:08,476 --> 00:18:09,810
時間不會暫停

336
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:15,243
我們的午餐

337
00:18:20,543 --> 00:18:22,877
他們會拿午餐搞笑嗎?

338
00:18:22,943 --> 00:18:24,510
會,搞笑午餐

339
00:18:24,576 --> 00:18:25,910
搞笑午餐

340
00:18:32,743 --> 00:18:35,010
很神奇,我還聽得到卡羅琳的聲音

341
00:18:35,076 --> 00:18:37,476
沒錯,他們明明做了隔音

342
00:18:39,043 --> 00:18:40,710
–他微笑了
–真的嗎?

343
00:18:40,777 --> 00:18:42,043
我真不敢相信

344
00:18:45,710 --> 00:18:48,010
他們嘴裡都塞了食物

345
00:18:56,043 --> 00:18:58,443
這次讓我很意外

346
00:18:59,543 --> 00:19:02,810
–這次讓我很心疼,說真的
–是

347
00:19:02,877 --> 00:19:06,410
但吃午餐時也不能犯規,請看影片

348
00:19:11,710 --> 00:19:13,910
{\an8}很神奇,我還聽得到卡羅琳的聲音

349
00:19:13,977 --> 00:19:14,843
{\an8}沒錯

350
00:19:18,476 --> 00:19:19,410
我忘了

351
00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:23,510
我完全忘了這個節目唯一的規定

352
00:19:24,576 --> 00:19:26,209
真是太蠢了

353
00:19:26,276 --> 00:19:28,476
完全是我自己的問題

354
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:32,410
因為我分心了,是卡羅琳害的!

355
00:19:33,410 --> 00:19:35,576
–我得發你黃牌
–謝謝

356
00:19:35,643 --> 00:19:38,109
果然見到了偶像,幻想就會破滅

357
00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:40,276
還沒結束

358
00:19:44,443 --> 00:19:45,343
請加油

359
00:19:47,543 --> 00:19:48,643
請加油

360
00:19:50,376 --> 00:19:53,376
真是令人失望的午餐

361
00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:55,710
柯林拿了黃牌,代表他跟

362
00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:58,877
強、大衛、安德魯和K崔佛
一同處於危險邊緣

363
00:20:04,143 --> 00:20:05,143
發生了什麼事?

364
00:20:05,209 --> 00:20:07,576
我笑了,你錯過了整件事

365
00:20:07,643 --> 00:20:10,843
–傑來過了嗎?我錯過了整件事?
–沒錯

366
00:20:12,243 --> 00:20:14,877
–你剛剛在洗澡嗎?
–我本來要洗的

367
00:20:15,743 --> 00:20:17,010
我本來要洗的

368
00:20:20,643 --> 00:20:22,910
–好吧,我剛在打手槍
–好

369
00:20:23,010 --> 00:20:24,176
天啊

370
00:20:24,243 --> 00:20:25,109
真性感

371
00:20:28,910 --> 00:20:31,543
來了,比賽又開始了

372
00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:38,543
我們要玩“終極二選一”

373
00:20:38,610 --> 00:20:40,276
–好
–好,來吧

374
00:20:40,343 --> 00:20:43,076
我們乾脆一起吃血腸冰棒就好

375
00:20:44,476 --> 00:20:46,910
–不是應該融化了嗎?
–已經凝結了

376
00:20:47,810 --> 00:20:50,910
–真噁心
–那真的是黑...

377
00:20:50,977 --> 00:20:52,443
–真的是嗎?
–對

378
00:20:52,510 --> 00:20:54,476
第一題:“你會選擇

379
00:20:54,543 --> 00:20:57,743
“被困在浪漫喜劇裡
永遠找不到真愛

380
00:20:57,810 --> 00:21:01,076
“還是在噁心的喜劇裡
一輩子天天都被惡整?”

381
00:21:01,143 --> 00:21:03,743
–噁心喜劇,天天被惡整
–沒錯

382
00:21:03,810 --> 00:21:06,010
我曾經被困在噁心喜劇裡過

383
00:21:06,076 --> 00:21:08,176
我還被困在裡面

384
00:21:14,576 --> 00:21:16,376
–很好笑
–他眨眼的樣子

385
00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:17,376
他眨眼的樣子

386
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:20,610
這兩種可能都不真實
永遠不可能發生

387
00:21:20,676 --> 00:21:22,643
不對,很真實

388
00:21:22,710 --> 00:21:24,109
這就是湯姆的人生

389
00:21:24,777 --> 00:21:25,643
下一題

390
00:21:25,710 --> 00:21:28,977
“你會選擇用屁股吃東西
還是用嘴巴大便?”

391
00:21:30,476 --> 00:21:34,010
–用屁股吃東西,想也知道
–沒錯

392
00:21:34,076 --> 00:21:35,276
這很難選

393
00:21:35,343 --> 00:21:37,343
我兩種事都想做

394
00:21:39,877 --> 00:21:41,276
下一題

395
00:21:41,343 --> 00:21:45,410
“你會選擇舌頭穿環
還是在下背部刺青?”

396
00:21:45,476 --> 00:21:46,710
在下背部刺青

397
00:21:46,777 --> 00:21:50,276
我聽說舌頭穿環口交會比較舒服

398
00:21:50,343 --> 00:21:51,309
對

399
00:21:51,376 --> 00:21:53,610
但我不懂我舌頭穿環

400
00:21:53,676 --> 00:21:55,810
為什麼被口交就會比較舒服

401
00:21:56,977 --> 00:21:58,376
很好笑

402
00:21:58,443 --> 00:21:59,610
–好
–好

403
00:21:59,676 --> 00:22:02,610
–我腦中不需要有這個畫面
–我正要說

404
00:22:07,010 --> 00:22:09,243
強不是要唱歌嗎?

405
00:22:09,309 --> 00:22:10,209
對

406
00:22:10,810 --> 00:22:12,676
沒錯,他在準備了

407
00:22:12,743 --> 00:22:14,043
來了

408
00:22:14,109 --> 00:22:17,943
我想要來一段即興表演

409
00:22:18,010 --> 00:22:22,309
我記得約翰亞歷山大麥克唐納說過

410
00:22:23,443 --> 00:22:25,910
“我們的樂團就叫金屬製品吧”

411
00:22:30,710 --> 00:22:32,777
我其實是認真的音樂人

412
00:22:32,843 --> 00:22:36,510
我從很小的時候就開始創作了

413
00:22:36,576 --> 00:22:38,543
我從三個月大就開始了

414
00:22:38,610 --> 00:22:41,043
對,我有一把很小的吉他

415
00:22:41,109 --> 00:22:43,176
–對,三個月大
–小吉他

416
00:22:44,977 --> 00:22:46,076
三個月大

417
00:22:50,843 --> 00:22:52,843
強根本就是不同的層級

418
00:22:52,910 --> 00:22:57,610
他的YouTube影片
很早期就在網路上爆紅了

419
00:22:57,676 --> 00:23:01,109
我知道他有多厲害,所以我很害怕

420
00:23:01,176 --> 00:23:05,543
我想跟你們分享我寫的第一首歌

421
00:23:07,643 --> 00:23:08,877
好,開始了

422
00:23:09,610 --> 00:23:12,443
我真的好餓,媽

423
00:23:15,376 --> 00:23:17,977
所以我才會抓狂

424
00:23:20,810 --> 00:23:23,443
我真的好餓,媽

425
00:23:25,109 --> 00:23:29,143
所以我才會流淚

426
00:23:31,010 --> 00:23:34,576
妳知道這代表什麼意思

427
00:23:34,643 --> 00:23:39,176
我真心拜託妳

428
00:23:41,209 --> 00:23:43,710
把妳的奶子放進我的嘴裡

429
00:23:45,476 --> 00:23:48,777
把妳的奶子放進我的嘴裡

430
00:23:48,843 --> 00:23:51,510
露出妳的大奶子

431
00:23:52,643 --> 00:23:56,810
塞進我的小嘴巴

432
00:23:59,109 --> 00:24:02,510
因為妳動作太慢了,婊子

433
00:24:02,576 --> 00:24:06,043
所以我要咬妳奶頭

434
00:24:14,143 --> 00:24:16,676
崔佛的嘴巴在幹嘛?

435
00:24:16,743 --> 00:24:18,643
他在忍笑

436
00:24:18,710 --> 00:24:20,977
他快死了,他很喜歡笑

437
00:24:21,710 --> 00:24:25,410
我還要表演一小段歌曲
是傑特地拜託的

438
00:24:25,910 --> 00:24:27,410
他媽又來了

439
00:24:27,476 --> 00:24:31,076
我今天早上走進來的時候
我提著我的吉他盒

440
00:24:31,143 --> 00:24:33,043
他就說

441
00:24:33,109 --> 00:24:36,476
“你要唱歌嗎?”
我說:“不知道,有可能”

442
00:24:36,543 --> 00:24:39,209
他就說:“我常常寫歌”

443
00:24:39,276 --> 00:24:41,810
我就說:“那我可以唱你的歌”

444
00:24:41,877 --> 00:24:45,309
這是傑巴魯契的歌

445
00:24:45,877 --> 00:24:47,343
我的天啊

446
00:24:48,010 --> 00:24:53,910
我好像成了強勒加創意發想的支點

447
00:24:53,977 --> 00:24:56,243
我同時又惱怒又開心

448
00:24:58,610 --> 00:25:03,676
這是本節目主持人傑巴魯契的歌

449
00:25:05,476 --> 00:25:06,643
天啊

450
00:25:06,710 --> 00:25:08,309
我不在乎

451
00:25:11,076 --> 00:25:14,010
別人怎麼想

452
00:25:17,676 --> 00:25:20,410
我不在乎他們

453
00:25:22,676 --> 00:25:24,643
懂不懂

454
00:25:30,176 --> 00:25:34,176
我還是覺得勞凱利很棒

455
00:25:38,209 --> 00:25:42,276
本人傑巴魯契還是覺得勞凱利

456
00:25:44,209 --> 00:25:45,576
很棒

457
00:25:46,643 --> 00:25:48,309
–很好,傑
–很好!

458
00:25:48,376 --> 00:25:50,877
–非常棒,但有點短
–傑巴魯契

459
00:25:53,109 --> 00:25:54,010
真不錯

460
00:25:54,076 --> 00:25:57,010
–可以加一段過門,但是很棒
–對

461
00:25:57,076 --> 00:26:00,643
–勞凱利後來怎麼樣了?
–你們都認識他吧?

462
00:26:01,476 --> 00:26:03,710
湯姆,你跟嘻哈歌手很熟

463
00:26:03,777 --> 00:26:06,510
你是入圍過朱諾獎的饒舌歌手

464
00:26:06,576 --> 00:26:09,143
–我確實入圍過朱諾獎
–沒錯

465
00:26:10,309 --> 00:26:12,376
–但我沒得獎
–對,你沒得獎

466
00:26:12,443 --> 00:26:14,243
所以我才會說你入圍過

467
00:26:16,510 --> 00:26:17,443
喂?

468
00:26:17,510 --> 00:26:20,710
崔佛,你可以叫強勒加去死嗎?

469
00:26:20,777 --> 00:26:21,877
好

470
00:26:21,943 --> 00:26:23,410
待會見,再見

471
00:26:23,476 --> 00:26:27,143
有人要叫我們別聊勞凱利的事

472
00:26:27,576 --> 00:26:28,576
對

473
00:26:28,643 --> 00:26:31,176
或是多聊聊湯姆入圍朱諾獎的事

474
00:26:34,510 --> 00:26:36,010
他確實笑了

475
00:26:37,877 --> 00:26:38,877
對

476
00:26:39,543 --> 00:26:40,376
真是的

477
00:26:44,576 --> 00:26:47,309
我會比他還難過

478
00:26:53,943 --> 00:26:55,743
我不知道

479
00:26:57,143 --> 00:26:59,510
我好像連動都沒動

480
00:27:01,376 --> 00:27:02,576
我好害怕

481
00:27:02,643 --> 00:27:05,843
好,我們一起看電視吧,各位

482
00:27:06,977 --> 00:27:09,610
你是入圍過朱諾獎的饒舌歌手

483
00:27:10,777 --> 00:27:12,877
{\an8}–但我沒得獎
–對,你沒得獎

484
00:27:14,543 --> 00:27:15,676
{\an8}喂?

485
00:27:15,743 --> 00:27:19,109
{\an8}有人要叫我們別聊勞凱利的事

486
00:27:19,176 --> 00:27:20,043
{\an8}對

487
00:27:23,176 --> 00:27:24,743
–不!
–你自由了!

488
00:27:24,810 --> 00:27:26,476
–天啊
–你自由了,大衛

489
00:27:26,543 --> 00:27:27,777
勞凱利!

490
00:27:27,843 --> 00:27:30,910
各位參賽者,又有人出局了

491
00:27:31,610 --> 00:27:33,276
你們都他媽去死吧

492
00:27:33,343 --> 00:27:34,243
不!

493
00:27:34,309 --> 00:27:36,510
我就覺得他好像微笑了

494
00:27:36,576 --> 00:27:39,610
我很開心能把大衛逗笑

495
00:27:39,676 --> 00:27:41,443
我雖然有點內疚

496
00:27:41,510 --> 00:27:44,043
但同時也很自豪

497
00:27:48,076 --> 00:27:49,010
再見

498
00:27:50,276 --> 00:27:51,309
天啊

499
00:27:52,910 --> 00:27:54,943
我會努力幫老人爭口氣的

500
00:27:55,977 --> 00:27:57,943
–我們來聊一聊吧
–好

501
00:27:58,010 --> 00:28:00,143
你覺得怎麼樣?你有什麼看法?

502
00:28:00,209 --> 00:28:02,743
我一向都覺得勞凱利很好笑

503
00:28:04,376 --> 00:28:05,977
–大衛
–大衛

504
00:28:06,043 --> 00:28:07,309
你微笑了嗎?

505
00:28:07,376 --> 00:28:12,343
{\an8}親身經歷過後
我發現這體驗莫名很累人

506
00:28:12,410 --> 00:28:16,143
我很痛苦,但也很開心

507
00:28:17,910 --> 00:28:21,309
湯姆讓大衛弗利拿到了紅牌

508
00:28:21,376 --> 00:28:23,610
又有一個人因他受害

509
00:28:23,676 --> 00:28:26,176
誰會是下一個被湯姆狙擊的人?

510
00:28:26,243 --> 00:28:27,977
請繼續鎖定他的屠殺過程

511
00:28:30,309 --> 00:28:31,610
–靠
–來了

512
00:28:31,676 --> 00:28:32,510
靠

513
00:28:39,010 --> 00:28:40,343
是什麼?

514
00:28:40,410 --> 00:28:41,676
是什麼?

515
00:28:46,243 --> 00:28:47,076
什麼?

516
00:28:47,143 --> 00:28:48,510
你好,爸爸

517
00:28:48,977 --> 00:28:50,276
{\an8}他會受傷的

518
00:28:50,343 --> 00:28:52,810
{\an8}–他們沒有笑
–我們不該笑

519
00:28:52,877 --> 00:28:55,109
{\an8}我不要開心,我就是這種人

520
00:28:55,176 --> 00:28:58,276
{\an8}–你的視力如何?
–你真該看看他的蛋蛋在哪裡

521
00:28:58,343 --> 00:29:01,510
{\an8}不准!不准用起司三明治!

522
00:29:01,576 --> 00:29:04,943
{\an8}這樣怎麼有辦法不笑?你是死了嗎?

523
00:29:06,276 --> 00:29:08,476
{\an8}–我送了披薩來
–天啊

524
00:29:08,543 --> 00:29:11,010
{\an8}會不會是我們都發瘋了?

525
00:29:13,076 --> 00:29:15,410
{\an8}我的屌從來沒有這麼硬過

526
00:29:16,010 --> 00:29:17,109
{\an8}請幫我結帳,謝謝

527
00:29:41,643 --> 00:29:43,643
字幕翻譯: 高健銘

528
00:29:43,710 --> 00:29:45,710
創意監督
謝慧霓