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警告

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本集包含
氨纶紧身衣、假毛皮的装扮

3
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以及许多其它有问题的情节

4
00:00:12,710 --> 00:00:14,443
建议观众酌情观看

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00:00:14,510 --> 00:00:16,743
{\an8}在本节目中没有松鼠受到伤害

6
00:00:19,910 --> 00:00:23,877
{\an8}最后才笑的人
加拿大

7
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:31,309
我爱奶酪三明治 它们可真美味

8
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三明治好吃

9
00:00:33,376 --> 00:00:37,576
我爱奶酪三明治 它们可真美味

10
00:00:37,643 --> 00:00:39,376
那是笑了 对吧?

11
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是的

12
00:00:41,877 --> 00:00:44,043
什么?

13
00:00:45,276 --> 00:00:46,710
纷纷落马!

14
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我觉得我的吉他没调准音

15
00:00:55,276 --> 00:00:56,143
那个...

16
00:00:56,209 --> 00:00:57,710
发笑警报!

17
00:00:58,476 --> 00:01:01,943
看回放吧 放片段

18
00:01:02,743 --> 00:01:05,743
我爱奶酪三明治 它们可真美味

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三明治好吃

20
00:01:09,543 --> 00:01:14,043
{\an8}我爱奶酪三明治 它们可真美味

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{\an8}-梅!
- 这个笑还真含蓄

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我就知道
和他们近距离接触 我会破防

23
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- 笑得很含蓄 但确实是笑了
- 完全不含蓄 伙计

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女士们 先生们 这是本场比赛的第二张红牌

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你瞧我这失望的表情

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我发现奶酪三明治这个梗是你的软肋

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- 我不得不对你下手
- 反正我出局是迟早的

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待会儿见

29
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祝你好运

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美味的奶酪三明治

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美味的奶酪三明治

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美味的奶酪三明治

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美味的奶酪三明治

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再见啦 梅 我们再会

35
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那个...有什么想法?
现在感觉如何?

36
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我浑身都被汗水浸透了

37
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我笑了

38
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场面很荒诞 汤姆又...

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{\an8}梅马丁

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{\an8}我就知道 他一开始重复
“美味的奶酪三明治...”

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我就控制不住了

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梅马丁是第二个被淘汰的人

43
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也是被汤姆格林的怪异天才
命中的首个猎物

44
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现在场上还剩八位喜剧演员

45
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灯仍然是蓝色的 对吧
那我们依然可以笑 对吗?

46
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对 依然可以笑 嘻嘻哈哈随便玩...

47
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放轻松 对彼此亲切友好

48
00:02:30,076 --> 00:02:32,510
有一会儿的时间可以笑太好了

49
00:02:32,576 --> 00:02:34,943
享受片刻的微笑

50
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天啊

51
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你憋笑的时候 表情很可爱

52
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我全程都在憋笑
我不知道他们是怎么忍住不笑的

53
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来吧

54
00:02:46,309 --> 00:02:50,076
开始了 节目组只承担得起 这样的提示音乐

55
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你们认为后续会如何发展?

56
00:02:54,410 --> 00:02:56,476
我觉得戴夫不会被任何人逗笑

57
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戴夫一直处在一种
接近傻笑的状态中

58
00:03:00,309 --> 00:03:01,176
对

59
00:03:01,243 --> 00:03:02,777
乔拉舒沃是一匹黑马

60
00:03:02,843 --> 00:03:04,209
- 你这么觉得吗?
- 是的

61
00:03:05,243 --> 00:03:09,843
我觉得汤姆会胜出
我见识过他面无表情干荒诞的事

62
00:03:09,910 --> 00:03:13,810
我觉得他现在比以前任何时候
都有吸引力 他疯狂吗?

63
00:03:13,877 --> 00:03:14,743
我想是的

64
00:03:14,810 --> 00:03:15,943
我想是的

65
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到了此时

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{\an8}乔拉舒沃

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{\an8}我开始比较有信心了
因为我竟然坚持了这么久

68
00:03:27,676 --> 00:03:29,676
但每个人都极具威胁

69
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嘿!

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你看起来很漂亮

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戴夫、汤姆格林和科林的表演
从我打小就一直在逗我发笑

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他们逗我发笑时
我从没试过不笑

73
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然而现在我和他们共处一室
却不准笑

74
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我该怎么办?

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身处这种情境 我觉得很怪异

76
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我要表演一个段子

77
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- 好的
- 天啊!

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希望能让大家开心

79
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好的

80
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- 好 要开始了
- 这才是我们想看的

81
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你从哪里来的?

82
00:04:06,543 --> 00:04:07,576
我一直就在这里

83
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可是那道隐秘的小门
一直就在那里吗?

84
00:04:10,543 --> 00:04:12,209
- 是的
- 是吗?

85
00:04:12,276 --> 00:04:16,877
我的这个段子是我最喜欢的
恐怖电影中的一个场景

86
00:04:16,943 --> 00:04:17,843
好的

87
00:04:19,076 --> 00:04:21,343
- 请把画面想象成是黑白色的
- 好的

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稍等

89
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- 好的
- 好了

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听起来很棒

91
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苏西 你知道我非常爱你

92
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今晚是满月

93
00:04:32,943 --> 00:04:33,943
天啊

94
00:04:34,010 --> 00:04:36,276
有件事我得告诉你

95
00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:39,576
几年前我在宾夕法尼亚州的时候

96
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有天我在森林里散步 被咬了

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被松鼠咬了

98
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但那不是一只普通的松鼠

99
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而是一只被诅咒的松鼠

100
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现在 每当满月时

101
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我就会变成那...

102
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我的天啊

103
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这只眼睛只看彩色

104
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赶紧想不开心的事情

105
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{\an8}被诅咒的松鼠

106
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{\an8}真二

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他那套白痴的装扮
是我见过最逗的东西

108
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我能忍住不笑的唯一方法
就是抿嘴唇

109
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看黛布

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美味的奶酪三明治

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好家伙

112
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美味的奶酪三明治

113
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松鼠人...太逗了

114
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所以我只好撅起嘴唇

115
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不知道为啥 把眼睛睁得老大

116
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这招也管用

117
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美味的奶酪三明治

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嗯

119
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不 我刚刚想的也是这个

120
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我刚刚想的也是这个

121
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这段表演滑稽荒诞
科林来演尤其如此

122
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{\an8}要板着一张脸真不容易

123
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美味的奶酪三明治

124
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看汤姆 看汤姆的表情

125
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- 美味的奶酪三明治
- 嗯

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好二

127
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大个子崔弗这下麻烦大了

128
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很舒服 我喜欢

129
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好家伙

130
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谢谢你们 剧终!

131
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好家伙!

132
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- 谢谢
- 我的老天爷!

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我的天啊

134
00:07:01,043 --> 00:07:02,043
太精彩了

135
00:07:02,109 --> 00:07:04,943
刚才是我今天截至目前
处境最危险的一次

136
00:07:05,010 --> 00:07:07,610
科林莫克里的表演非常荒诞

137
00:07:07,676 --> 00:07:10,943
我很难抵抗得住
因为我是个爱笑的人!

138
00:07:11,010 --> 00:07:14,109
{\an8}确实如此 我不擅长总板着脸 我扑克脸时是这样

139
00:07:17,777 --> 00:07:19,143
这才坚持了多久?

140
00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:26,043
我在做一些美味的面包球

141
00:07:26,109 --> 00:07:28,443
我超喜欢笑 这是我的小缺点

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{\an8}我独处时喜欢笑
洗澡时喜欢笑 总是在笑

143
00:07:32,010 --> 00:07:36,877
所以我得集中注意力
尽力认真地干这事

144
00:07:37,410 --> 00:07:40,676
你得真正付出努力和关心

145
00:07:40,743 --> 00:07:43,476
不然别人会说
“我尝不出有什么不一样”

146
00:07:45,243 --> 00:07:47,710
面包原料的关键就在这里...

147
00:07:47,777 --> 00:07:49,610
安德鲁在跟谁说话?

148
00:07:51,043 --> 00:07:53,043
有很多的可能性

149
00:07:53,109 --> 00:07:54,910
所以我拿出其中一片 把它卷起来

150
00:07:54,977 --> 00:07:58,777
因为即使奶酪放多了一点点
也没人会抱怨

151
00:07:58,843 --> 00:08:00,743
我靠!

152
00:08:02,576 --> 00:08:04,810
安德鲁一次也没笑过

153
00:08:04,877 --> 00:08:06,810
要攻克他会很难

154
00:08:06,877 --> 00:08:09,777
他自以为我们都是种族主义者
好让自己充满斗志

155
00:08:14,209 --> 00:08:15,643
“自以为” 对吗?

156
00:08:19,943 --> 00:08:21,309
你想来拍红色按钮吗?

157
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:22,510
好啊!可以吗?

158
00:08:25,076 --> 00:08:27,276
有可能是我

159
00:08:28,076 --> 00:08:29,743
我得去施展下我的威严

160
00:08:31,443 --> 00:08:32,910
我靠

161
00:08:32,977 --> 00:08:35,309
刚才那段我可能笑了 我不确定

162
00:08:37,443 --> 00:08:41,143
给大家通报一条坏消息
我抓到更多破防的人了

163
00:08:41,209 --> 00:08:42,543
不!

164
00:08:42,610 --> 00:08:43,977
糟了

165
00:08:44,043 --> 00:08:45,743
很多人都在心虚

166
00:08:45,810 --> 00:08:48,243
来看回放

167
00:08:48,309 --> 00:08:51,476
他自以为我们都是种族主义者
好让自己充满斗志

168
00:08:53,810 --> 00:08:55,209
{\an8}“自以为” 对吗?

169
00:08:58,010 --> 00:08:59,643
{\an8}他都坚持这么久了!

170
00:09:02,510 --> 00:09:05,576
喜剧的要义就是让人措手不及

171
00:09:06,209 --> 00:09:10,676
我没想到他会来这么一出
所以破防了 这招干净利落

172
00:09:10,743 --> 00:09:13,510
- 崔弗罚黄牌
- 好的

173
00:09:15,610 --> 00:09:16,777
可是 等等

174
00:09:18,877 --> 00:09:19,710
还有人笑了

175
00:09:21,243 --> 00:09:22,910
有很多的可能性

176
00:09:22,977 --> 00:09:25,076
所以我拿出其中一片 把它卷起来

177
00:09:25,143 --> 00:09:28,877
{\an8}因为即使奶酪放多了一点点
也没人会抱怨

178
00:09:31,443 --> 00:09:32,843
被罚黄牌...

179
00:09:32,910 --> 00:09:35,043
但愿对你来说这张黄牌罚得值

180
00:09:35,109 --> 00:09:39,309
被罚黄牌得怪我自己太愚蠢

181
00:09:39,376 --> 00:09:42,710
我表演段子 没一个人看

182
00:09:42,777 --> 00:09:46,676
结果把自己给整笑了

183
00:09:46,743 --> 00:09:48,877
罚你黄牌

184
00:09:48,943 --> 00:09:50,643
自找的黄牌!

185
00:09:55,443 --> 00:09:56,943
你得当心啊

186
00:09:57,010 --> 00:09:58,676
得当心

187
00:09:58,743 --> 00:10:00,710
为这种原因被罚黄牌太憋屈了

188
00:10:00,777 --> 00:10:02,943
刚才那是一起自我谋杀案

189
00:10:04,309 --> 00:10:07,543
{\an8}K崔弗和安德鲁吃了黄牌

190
00:10:07,610 --> 00:10:10,243
{\an8}和黛布拉与戴夫一样了
处境都很危险

191
00:10:12,676 --> 00:10:13,877
糟了

192
00:10:21,710 --> 00:10:23,243
汤姆 你在做什么?

193
00:10:23,309 --> 00:10:29,209
我在做美味的烤奶酪三明治

194
00:10:29,977 --> 00:10:31,309
天啊 又来

195
00:10:31,376 --> 00:10:33,843
他又在做奶酪三明治了

196
00:10:33,910 --> 00:10:35,877
我已经吃过了 很美味

197
00:10:35,943 --> 00:10:37,710
嗯 我...如果...

198
00:10:40,710 --> 00:10:43,376
科林 我刚才差点就被你反击了

199
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:47,043
差点就被你用我自己的
美味奶酪三明治段子整笑了

200
00:10:47,109 --> 00:10:48,276
小心点 汤姆

201
00:10:48,343 --> 00:10:49,943
你现在处在发笑的边缘 很危险

202
00:10:51,543 --> 00:10:54,376
美味的奶酪三明治

203
00:10:56,777 --> 00:10:58,676
对喜剧演员来说

204
00:10:58,743 --> 00:11:01,943
{\an8}自己的段子被别人
讲给自己听 是最逗的

205
00:11:02,010 --> 00:11:04,343
{\an8}所以我想:“这或许是一个软肋”

206
00:11:05,410 --> 00:11:08,109
好吧 你可能发现了我的氪石

207
00:11:08,176 --> 00:11:11,043
美味的奶酪...

208
00:11:14,109 --> 00:11:15,877
黛布一直在笑

209
00:11:15,943 --> 00:11:18,410
对 她完了 我看她很快就会出局

210
00:11:20,343 --> 00:11:23,010
“美味的奶酪三明治”
用法语怎么说?

211
00:11:26,710 --> 00:11:32,309
其实我稍微修饰了一下
一般会说...

212
00:11:37,343 --> 00:11:40,810
- 差不多 但你还要更像...
- 我说得是不是有点像拉丁语?

213
00:11:45,109 --> 00:11:46,243
是的

214
00:11:49,343 --> 00:11:51,877
哎呀 我如果在现场 会笑出来

215
00:11:52,576 --> 00:11:54,843
我刚才本来想说jambon
但那是火腿的意思

216
00:11:54,910 --> 00:11:57,243
你说得太斯文了

217
00:12:01,043 --> 00:12:02,676
“我叫詹博

218
00:12:02,743 --> 00:12:07,376
“我来这里是为了接管
Molson Labatt啤酒厂!”

219
00:12:09,443 --> 00:12:12,443
- 就像一个恶棍那样说话
- 你模仿的是乔治洛佩兹吧?

220
00:12:12,510 --> 00:12:14,543
不 乔治是这样

221
00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:17,109
“早上‘嚎’啊 我是乔治洛佩兹!”

222
00:12:17,176 --> 00:12:19,043
“早上嚎啊”?

223
00:12:27,043 --> 00:12:28,643
我的天啊!

224
00:12:28,710 --> 00:12:29,543
可恶!

225
00:12:29,610 --> 00:12:32,276
- 他马上就意识到了!
- 还有一个人也笑了!

226
00:12:42,343 --> 00:12:43,476
会罚哪张呢?

227
00:12:47,910 --> 00:12:48,910
好了

228
00:12:52,109 --> 00:12:55,443
某人没憋住 被我们发现了

229
00:12:57,710 --> 00:13:01,810
我不太明白那个笑是什么意思
总之 看回放吧

230
00:13:02,309 --> 00:13:04,443
我刚才本来想说jambon
但那是火腿的意思

231
00:13:04,510 --> 00:13:06,943
你说得太斯文了

232
00:13:07,010 --> 00:13:10,276
{\an8}“我叫詹博 我来这里是为了接管...!”

233
00:13:10,343 --> 00:13:11,910
{\an8}你模仿的是乔治洛佩兹吧?

234
00:13:11,977 --> 00:13:13,010
{\an8}乔治是这样

235
00:13:13,076 --> 00:13:15,543
{\an8}“早上‘嚎’啊 我是乔治洛佩兹!”

236
00:13:15,610 --> 00:13:17,176
{\an8}“早上嚎啊”?

237
00:13:28,643 --> 00:13:30,710
乔拉舒沃罚黄牌

238
00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:32,343
谢谢 行

239
00:13:32,410 --> 00:13:34,443
但是等等 还有呢

240
00:13:34,510 --> 00:13:35,510
- 不是吧?
- 好的

241
00:13:35,576 --> 00:13:37,777
- 还有人也破防了
- 糟糕

242
00:13:40,510 --> 00:13:41,777
看回放

243
00:13:43,243 --> 00:13:44,676
{\an8}汤姆 你在做什么?

244
00:13:44,743 --> 00:13:49,476
{\an8}美味的烤奶酪三明治

245
00:13:49,543 --> 00:13:51,176
{\an8}天啊 又来

246
00:13:51,243 --> 00:13:53,843
{\an8}美味的奶酪三明治

247
00:13:58,777 --> 00:13:59,810
不!

248
00:14:00,877 --> 00:14:05,243
据我所知
这意味着你要吃红牌了

249
00:14:07,943 --> 00:14:09,243
好吧!

250
00:14:09,309 --> 00:14:13,543
黛布拉 你可以跟他们道别 然后和我一起去休息室

251
00:14:13,610 --> 00:14:15,209
我就知道会是你把我逗笑

252
00:14:15,276 --> 00:14:18,743
是科林!可恶!他太二了

253
00:14:20,576 --> 00:14:23,209
说真的 不是我虚伪 没有所谓输赢

254
00:14:23,276 --> 00:14:25,443
我们早知道我们能玩得很开心

255
00:14:25,510 --> 00:14:28,476
但我早就预感到
使我出局的人会是科林

256
00:14:28,543 --> 00:14:32,076
{\an8}黛布拉被罚红牌
也因此得到一张去休息室的单程票

257
00:14:32,143 --> 00:14:33,576
这要感谢科林莫克里

258
00:14:33,643 --> 00:14:36,777
他还害乔吃了黄牌
导致乔现在如履薄冰

259
00:14:39,309 --> 00:14:41,010
- 这里不错!
- 是吧?

260
00:14:41,076 --> 00:14:42,010
- 嗨 亲爱的
- 好了

261
00:14:42,076 --> 00:14:44,443
- 我的天哪!
- 现在你们得给人家腾地方了

262
00:14:44,510 --> 00:14:46,843
我们会在蓝光下再待16小时吗?

263
00:14:51,510 --> 00:14:52,476
来吧

264
00:14:53,710 --> 00:14:54,643
开始了

265
00:14:55,276 --> 00:14:57,610
这下咱们是真正的男生聚会了
都是带把儿的

266
00:15:04,276 --> 00:15:05,243
行动吧

267
00:15:05,309 --> 00:15:08,910
好了 布兰登准备表演段子了

268
00:15:08,977 --> 00:15:10,376
但愿有超强“笑果”

269
00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:11,810
希望他是模仿蒂娜特纳

270
00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:13,743
我现在要表演一段

271
00:15:15,410 --> 00:15:17,777
这样好可爱 我喜欢

272
00:15:17,843 --> 00:15:19,943
跟别人打成一片

273
00:15:20,010 --> 00:15:22,410
我觉得我的喜剧老少皆宜

274
00:15:22,476 --> 00:15:23,610
{\an8}布兰登阿什穆罕默德

275
00:15:23,676 --> 00:15:26,810
{\an8}我知道可能不是
每个白人直男都会喜欢

276
00:15:26,877 --> 00:15:30,043
但我要试试 看看会有什么反应 看看能不能逗笑他们

277
00:15:30,109 --> 00:15:33,510
好了!大家好!

278
00:15:33,576 --> 00:15:35,943
我是布兰登阿什穆罕默德

279
00:15:36,943 --> 00:15:37,943
好的!

280
00:15:38,010 --> 00:15:42,877
你们或许知道我是那种
总能捕获男人的大块头女生

281
00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:46,276
很多女生认为
如果想博得白马王子青睐

282
00:15:46,343 --> 00:15:48,610
就得减掉几磅 对吧?

283
00:15:48,676 --> 00:15:51,777
- 听过这种说法
- 要我说 那是狗屁想法

284
00:15:51,843 --> 00:15:52,710
对!

285
00:15:52,777 --> 00:15:55,410
今天我要给大家
介绍几种吃东西的方式

286
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:58,309
保证会让男人“性奋”

287
00:15:58,376 --> 00:15:59,676
好吗 男生们?

288
00:15:59,743 --> 00:16:00,910
性奋!

289
00:16:00,977 --> 00:16:03,243
准备好纸巾

290
00:16:03,676 --> 00:16:04,977
性奋?就是流精液?

291
00:16:05,043 --> 00:16:06,476
是射精前液

292
00:16:06,543 --> 00:16:07,877
射精前液!

293
00:16:09,043 --> 00:16:11,243
性奋是指流出射精前液?

294
00:16:13,309 --> 00:16:16,076
第一种策略 你需要准备...

295
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:19,343
薯片和一把椅子 什么零食都行

296
00:16:19,410 --> 00:16:22,410
你要像这样魅惑地坐下...

297
00:16:22,476 --> 00:16:24,309
- 好的 主子!
- 这个椅子太硬了

298
00:16:24,376 --> 00:16:26,309
- 好的!
- 天啊

299
00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:27,977
然后假装零食太烫 把它放到地上

300
00:16:28,043 --> 00:16:32,176
然后突然站起身 揉搓脂肪卷

301
00:16:32,243 --> 00:16:33,410
揉搓!

302
00:16:33,476 --> 00:16:36,109
在场的哪个男人都会湿

303
00:16:39,710 --> 00:16:41,343
下一种也是最后一种策略是...

304
00:16:41,410 --> 00:16:45,076
假设你在夜店
一边和一个帅哥说话什么的

305
00:16:45,143 --> 00:16:48,676
- 一边吃着香蕉
- 我经常在夜店吃香蕉

306
00:16:48,743 --> 00:16:51,977
突然香蕉掉在了地上
然后你就装作自己是在健身

307
00:16:52,043 --> 00:16:52,977
嗯

308
00:16:53,043 --> 00:16:55,443
正把香蕉往嘴里塞呢
突然 砰!

309
00:16:55,510 --> 00:16:56,676
嗯

310
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:03,309
{\an8}动静挺大的 但我年纪大了 无法对任何事情感到惊奇

311
00:17:03,376 --> 00:17:05,010
{\an8}我看过登月

312
00:17:05,076 --> 00:17:07,043
在那之后 看什么都不觉得稀奇

313
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:12,309
- 砰!
- 在场的哪个男人都会湿

314
00:17:12,376 --> 00:17:13,710
太疯癫了

315
00:17:13,777 --> 00:17:16,309
我从没上过日本的比赛节目

316
00:17:16,376 --> 00:17:19,943
但我想这段表演大概是加拿大
最接近日本同类节目的了

317
00:17:21,510 --> 00:17:23,610
谢谢大家

318
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:25,109
好的

319
00:17:25,176 --> 00:17:27,810
你给我把屁股塞到香蕉里

320
00:17:27,877 --> 00:17:28,777
谢谢

321
00:17:28,843 --> 00:17:32,877
这种有氧运动能捕获一队人的阴茎
屡试不爽

322
00:17:36,343 --> 00:17:37,309
谢谢

323
00:17:37,376 --> 00:17:38,510
好!

324
00:17:38,576 --> 00:17:40,376
你讲的这些信息都非常有用

325
00:17:44,343 --> 00:17:45,376
汤姆!

326
00:17:46,943 --> 00:17:48,877
我的天啊!

327
00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:49,977
汤姆

328
00:17:50,810 --> 00:17:53,543
我的表演大概让汤姆格林
开始质疑自己的性取向了

329
00:17:53,610 --> 00:17:55,877
这就是我希望做到的
是我的目标

330
00:17:55,943 --> 00:17:58,777
了不起 了不得

331
00:17:58,843 --> 00:18:01,176
我得上一下洗手间

332
00:18:01,843 --> 00:18:05,810
大伙儿 打扰一下 有人饿了吗?

333
00:18:05,877 --> 00:18:08,410
- 我想吃午饭
- 吃午饭也不会停止计时吧?

334
00:18:08,476 --> 00:18:09,810
不会停止计时

335
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:15,243
我们的午餐

336
00:18:20,543 --> 00:18:22,877
你们觉得他们会针对午餐
搞出什么段子吗?

337
00:18:22,943 --> 00:18:24,510
会的 搞笑的午餐

338
00:18:24,576 --> 00:18:25,910
搞笑的午餐

339
00:18:32,743 --> 00:18:35,010
真不可思议
我还能听到卡罗琳的声音

340
00:18:35,076 --> 00:18:37,476
就是啊!有隔音墙挡着竟然都能听到

341
00:18:39,043 --> 00:18:40,710
- 他笑了!
- 真的假的?

342
00:18:40,777 --> 00:18:42,043
我都不敢相信

343
00:18:45,710 --> 00:18:48,010
他们嘴里都塞满了食物

344
00:18:56,043 --> 00:18:58,443
这次的发笑让我很震惊

345
00:18:59,543 --> 00:19:02,810
- 我不撒谎 其实让我很难过
- 是的

346
00:19:02,877 --> 00:19:06,410
但即使在用餐
比赛也没有停止 看回放吧

347
00:19:11,710 --> 00:19:13,910
{\an8}真不可思议
我还能听到卡罗琳的声音

348
00:19:13,977 --> 00:19:14,843
{\an8}就是啊!

349
00:19:18,476 --> 00:19:19,410
我忘了

350
00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:23,510
我完全忘了节目唯一的规定

351
00:19:24,576 --> 00:19:26,209
好吧 这个笑太愚蠢了

352
00:19:26,276 --> 00:19:28,476
是我自己把自己整笑了

353
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:32,410
因为我当时注意力没集中
都怪卡罗琳!

354
00:19:33,410 --> 00:19:35,576
- 只好罚你黄牌了
- 谢谢

355
00:19:35,643 --> 00:19:38,109
别人说和偶像见面一定会失望
不无道理啊

356
00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:40,276
我还没完蛋呢

357
00:19:44,443 --> 00:19:45,343
小心一点

358
00:19:47,543 --> 00:19:48,643
小心一点

359
00:19:50,376 --> 00:19:53,376
午餐环节使一人踩了坑

360
00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:55,710
科林被罚黄牌意味着

361
00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:58,877
他现在和乔、戴夫、安德鲁
以及K崔弗都在砧板上了

362
00:20:04,143 --> 00:20:05,143
发生什么事了?

363
00:20:05,209 --> 00:20:07,576
我笑了 你什么都没看到

364
00:20:07,643 --> 00:20:10,843
- 杰伊进来过?我错过了全程?
- 错过了全程

365
00:20:12,243 --> 00:20:14,877
- 你刚才在洗澡吗?
- 呃 我准备洗的

366
00:20:15,743 --> 00:20:17,010
我准备洗的

367
00:20:20,643 --> 00:20:22,910
- 好吧 我刚才在打飞机
- 好的

368
00:20:23,010 --> 00:20:24,176
好家伙

369
00:20:24,243 --> 00:20:25,109
真性感

370
00:20:28,910 --> 00:20:31,543
开始了 比赛又开始了

371
00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:38,543
我们现在要玩一个游戏
《你宁愿干什么》

372
00:20:38,610 --> 00:20:40,276
- 行
- 行 来吧

373
00:20:40,343 --> 00:20:43,076
不如我们都来吃血肠冰棒吧

374
00:20:44,476 --> 00:20:46,910
- 不应该早融化了吗?
- 已经凝结了

375
00:20:47,810 --> 00:20:50,910
- 好恶心
- 那些是不是真的是黑...

376
00:20:50,977 --> 00:20:52,443
- 是真的吗?
- 是的

377
00:20:52,510 --> 00:20:54,476
第一个问题 “你宁愿

378
00:20:54,543 --> 00:20:57,743
“终生困在浪漫喜剧中
永远找不到真爱

379
00:20:57,810 --> 00:21:01,076
“还是宁愿终生困在粗俗喜剧中
每天都被捉弄?”

380
00:21:01,143 --> 00:21:03,743
- 粗俗喜剧 每天被捉弄
- 是的

381
00:21:03,810 --> 00:21:06,010
我以前就一直困在粗俗喜剧中

382
00:21:06,076 --> 00:21:08,176
现在也是

383
00:21:14,576 --> 00:21:16,376
- 这个很棒
- 眨眼很逗!

384
00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:17,376
眨眼很逗!

385
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:20,610
这两种情境都不现实
哪种都不可能发生

386
00:21:20,676 --> 00:21:22,643
不 很现实

387
00:21:22,710 --> 00:21:24,109
汤姆的生活就是后一种啊

388
00:21:24,777 --> 00:21:25,643
下一个

389
00:21:25,710 --> 00:21:28,977
“你宁愿用屁股吃饭
还是用嘴巴大便?”

390
00:21:30,476 --> 00:21:34,010
- 用屁股吃饭 这是常识
- 是的

391
00:21:34,076 --> 00:21:35,276
这个很难选

392
00:21:35,343 --> 00:21:37,343
我希望两个我都能选

393
00:21:39,877 --> 00:21:41,276
继续

394
00:21:41,343 --> 00:21:45,410
“你宁愿给舌头穿孔
还是文一个低腰文身?”

395
00:21:45,476 --> 00:21:46,710
低腰文身

396
00:21:46,777 --> 00:21:50,276
我听说给舌头穿孔会令吹箫更爽

397
00:21:50,343 --> 00:21:51,309
是的

398
00:21:51,376 --> 00:21:53,610
我不理解我舌头穿孔

399
00:21:53,676 --> 00:21:55,810
怎么会让我更享受被人吹箫

400
00:21:56,977 --> 00:21:58,376
这个不错

401
00:21:58,443 --> 00:21:59,610
- 好吧
- 好吧

402
00:21:59,676 --> 00:22:02,610
- 我不想脑补那个画面
- 我正要说呢

403
00:22:07,010 --> 00:22:09,243
乔不是准备要唱歌吗?

404
00:22:09,309 --> 00:22:10,209
是的

405
00:22:10,810 --> 00:22:12,676
没错 他在准备

406
00:22:12,743 --> 00:22:14,043
开始了

407
00:22:14,109 --> 00:22:17,943
我要给大家表演一个
我即兴创作的小作品

408
00:22:18,010 --> 00:22:22,309
记得好像
约翰亚历山大麦克唐纳说过一句话

409
00:22:23,443 --> 00:22:25,910
“我们的乐队应该起名叫金属乐队”

410
00:22:30,710 --> 00:22:32,777
我其实是一个严肃的音乐家

411
00:22:32,843 --> 00:22:36,510
我很小的时候就开始写歌了

412
00:22:36,576 --> 00:22:38,543
三个月大就开始了 真的

413
00:22:38,610 --> 00:22:41,043
当时用的是一把小吉他

414
00:22:41,109 --> 00:22:43,176
- 是的 三个月大
- 小吉他

415
00:22:44,977 --> 00:22:46,076
三个月大

416
00:22:50,843 --> 00:22:52,843
乔搞笑的水准高于一般喜剧演员

417
00:22:52,910 --> 00:22:57,610
他传到油管网站上的视频
是油管网站早期爆火的重要功臣

418
00:22:57,676 --> 00:23:01,109
我知道这个人的实力 强得可怕

419
00:23:01,176 --> 00:23:05,543
我想和大家分享我写的第一首歌

420
00:23:07,643 --> 00:23:08,877
好的 开始了

421
00:23:09,610 --> 00:23:12,443
我好饿 妈妈

422
00:23:15,376 --> 00:23:17,977
所以我才恐慌

423
00:23:20,810 --> 00:23:23,443
我好饿 妈妈

424
00:23:25,109 --> 00:23:29,143
所以哭个稀里哗啦

425
00:23:31,010 --> 00:23:34,576
你知道这是怎么个意思

426
00:23:34,643 --> 00:23:39,176
我求求你了

427
00:23:41,209 --> 00:23:43,710
把你的咪咪放进我嘴里

428
00:23:45,476 --> 00:23:48,777
把你的咪咪放进我嘴里

429
00:23:48,843 --> 00:23:51,510
把那个大咪咪掏出来

430
00:23:52,643 --> 00:23:56,810
塞进我的小嘴里

431
00:23:59,109 --> 00:24:02,510
等了这么久你这贱人才喂我

432
00:24:02,576 --> 00:24:06,043
看我怎么狠狠咬你

433
00:24:14,143 --> 00:24:16,676
崔弗的嘴在干什么?

434
00:24:16,743 --> 00:24:18,643
他在憋笑

435
00:24:18,710 --> 00:24:20,977
他危险了 他很喜欢笑

436
00:24:21,710 --> 00:24:25,410
我还要再唱首短的
是杰伊请求的

437
00:24:25,910 --> 00:24:27,410
我靠 又来

438
00:24:27,476 --> 00:24:31,076
今天早上我正提着吉他盒走在路上

439
00:24:31,143 --> 00:24:33,043
他问我

440
00:24:33,109 --> 00:24:36,476
“你等下会演奏歌曲?”
我说:“不知道 也许吧”

441
00:24:36,543 --> 00:24:39,209
他就说:“我一直在写歌”

442
00:24:39,276 --> 00:24:41,810
我就说:“我可以帮你演奏一曲”

443
00:24:41,877 --> 00:24:45,309
演奏你的歌
杰伊巴鲁歇尔的歌

444
00:24:45,877 --> 00:24:47,343
天啊

445
00:24:48,010 --> 00:24:53,910
我似乎是乔拉舒沃创作计划的支点

446
00:24:53,977 --> 00:24:56,243
我感到既恼火又受宠若惊

447
00:24:58,610 --> 00:25:03,676
杰伊巴鲁歇尔 本节目主持人...的歌

448
00:25:05,476 --> 00:25:06,643
天啊

449
00:25:06,710 --> 00:25:08,309
我不在乎

450
00:25:11,076 --> 00:25:14,010
别人怎么想

451
00:25:17,676 --> 00:25:20,410
我不在乎他们会否

452
00:25:22,676 --> 00:25:24,643
理解

453
00:25:30,176 --> 00:25:34,176
我仍然认为R凯利是铮铮男儿

454
00:25:38,209 --> 00:25:42,276
我 杰伊巴鲁歇尔 仍然认为R凯利

455
00:25:44,209 --> 00:25:45,576
是铮铮男儿

456
00:25:46,643 --> 00:25:48,309
- 唱完了 杰伊的歌
- 好!

457
00:25:48,376 --> 00:25:50,877
- 非常好 就是有点短
- 杰伊巴鲁歇尔

458
00:25:53,109 --> 00:25:54,010
唱得不错

459
00:25:54,076 --> 00:25:57,010
- 可以加连接段的 不过真的不错
- 是的

460
00:25:57,076 --> 00:26:00,643
- R凯利到底怎么了?
- 你们都认识他吧?

461
00:26:01,476 --> 00:26:03,710
汤姆 我见你和嘻哈明星一起玩过

462
00:26:03,777 --> 00:26:06,510
你是朱诺奖提名的说唱歌手

463
00:26:06,576 --> 00:26:09,143
- 我是提名过朱诺奖
- 是的

464
00:26:10,309 --> 00:26:12,376
- 我没得奖
- 对 你没得奖

465
00:26:12,443 --> 00:26:14,243
所以我才只说了是提名

466
00:26:16,510 --> 00:26:17,443
喂?

467
00:26:17,510 --> 00:26:20,710
崔弗 你帮我转告乔拉舒沃 让他别扯犊子

468
00:26:20,777 --> 00:26:21,877
行

469
00:26:21,943 --> 00:26:23,410
待会儿见

470
00:26:23,476 --> 00:26:27,143
是不是有人要求我们
别再谈论R凯利?

471
00:26:27,576 --> 00:26:28,576
是啊

472
00:26:28,643 --> 00:26:31,176
也可能是叫我们继续谈论
汤姆的朱诺奖提名

473
00:26:34,510 --> 00:26:36,010
笑得很彻底啊

474
00:26:37,877 --> 00:26:38,877
噢

475
00:26:39,543 --> 00:26:40,376
糟糕

476
00:26:44,576 --> 00:26:47,309
惩罚他对我的伤害
比对他的伤害还要大

477
00:26:53,943 --> 00:26:55,743
我不知道是谁笑了

478
00:26:57,143 --> 00:26:59,510
我好像根本没动过

479
00:27:01,376 --> 00:27:02,576
我好害怕

480
00:27:02,643 --> 00:27:05,843
来 大伙儿看回放

481
00:27:06,977 --> 00:27:09,610
你是朱诺奖提名的说唱歌手

482
00:27:10,777 --> 00:27:12,877
{\an8}-我没得奖
- 对 你没得奖

483
00:27:14,543 --> 00:27:15,676
{\an8}喂?

484
00:27:15,743 --> 00:27:19,109
{\an8}是不是有人要求我们
别再谈论R凯利?

485
00:27:19,176 --> 00:27:20,043
{\an8}是啊

486
00:27:23,176 --> 00:27:24,743
- 不要!
- 你自由了!

487
00:27:24,810 --> 00:27:26,476
- 我的天啊!
- 你自由了 戴夫

488
00:27:26,543 --> 00:27:27,777
R凯利!

489
00:27:27,843 --> 00:27:30,910
女士们 先生们 又一个人倒下了

490
00:27:31,610 --> 00:27:33,276
去你们的

491
00:27:33,343 --> 00:27:34,243
不!

492
00:27:34,309 --> 00:27:36,510
我就觉得好像是看到他笑了

493
00:27:36,576 --> 00:27:39,610
把戴夫逗笑了 我很高兴

494
00:27:39,676 --> 00:27:41,443
虽然我有点愧疚

495
00:27:41,510 --> 00:27:44,043
但也有点自豪

496
00:27:48,076 --> 00:27:49,010
再见

497
00:27:50,276 --> 00:27:51,309
兄弟

498
00:27:52,910 --> 00:27:54,943
我会尽量保住我们这些老家伙的脸面

499
00:27:55,977 --> 00:27:57,943
- 我们来好好分析分析
- 好的

500
00:27:58,010 --> 00:28:00,143
你现在有何感想?对节目印象如何?

501
00:28:00,209 --> 00:28:02,743
我...我一直觉得R凯利很搞笑

502
00:28:04,376 --> 00:28:05,977
- 戴夫!
- 戴夫!

503
00:28:06,043 --> 00:28:07,309
那是微笑吗?

504
00:28:07,376 --> 00:28:12,343
{\an8}经历后再来看
参加这个节目不知为何很累人

505
00:28:12,410 --> 00:28:16,143
我很享受度过了一段可怕的时光

506
00:28:17,910 --> 00:28:21,309
汤姆使戴夫弗利先生吃了红牌

507
00:28:21,376 --> 00:28:23,610
他的“目标名单”上又有一人被划掉了

508
00:28:23,676 --> 00:28:26,176
谁将是下一个惨遭汤姆毒手的人?

509
00:28:26,243 --> 00:28:27,977
请继续关注本节目
欣赏更多“厮杀”场面

510
00:28:30,309 --> 00:28:31,610
- 糟了
- 开始了

511
00:28:31,676 --> 00:28:32,510
糟了

512
00:28:39,010 --> 00:28:40,343
什么情况?

513
00:28:40,410 --> 00:28:41,676
什么情况?

514
00:28:46,243 --> 00:28:47,076
什么?

515
00:28:47,143 --> 00:28:48,510
嗨 爸爸

516
00:28:48,977 --> 00:28:50,276
{\an8}他会伤到自己的!

517
00:28:50,343 --> 00:28:52,810
{\an8}-他们没笑
- 我们本来就不准笑

518
00:28:52,877 --> 00:28:55,109
{\an8}我要对乐趣无感
因为我就是这种人

519
00:28:55,176 --> 00:28:58,276
{\an8}-你的视力如何?
- 你应该看看他的蛋蛋在哪里

520
00:28:58,343 --> 00:29:01,510
{\an8}你试试看!
竟敢用你的奶酪三明治攻击我!

521
00:29:01,576 --> 00:29:04,943
{\an8}面对那样的表演你怎么能不笑?
你不是活人吗?

522
00:29:06,276 --> 00:29:08,476
{\an8}-我把比萨饼送来了
- 好家伙

523
00:29:08,543 --> 00:29:11,010
{\an8}有没有可能我们全都疯了?

524
00:29:13,076 --> 00:29:15,410
{\an8}我的阴茎从未如此坚硬

525
00:29:16,010 --> 00:29:17,109
{\an8}我要结账

526
00:29:41,643 --> 00:29:43,643
字幕翻译: 小小

527
00:29:43,710 --> 00:29:45,710
创意监督
罗婷婷