1
00:00:16,676 --> 00:00:19,610
♪

2
00:00:24,243 --> 00:00:26,777
C’mon, let’s keep
it going, band!

3
00:00:26,810 --> 00:00:28,043
Woo!

4
00:00:28,076 --> 00:00:29,643
Let’s bring up
the party up in here!

5
00:00:29,676 --> 00:00:31,209
[band plays]

6
00:00:31,243 --> 00:00:33,543
Let’s have some fun!

7
00:00:33,576 --> 00:00:35,610
[bad sax playing]

8
00:00:39,476 --> 00:00:40,643
[Jay] Shit. They’re covering
their mouths left,

9
00:00:40,676 --> 00:00:43,109
right and center.
They can’t do that.

10
00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:45,010
Serial offenders!

11
00:00:45,043 --> 00:00:47,109
[alarm rings]

12
00:00:47,143 --> 00:00:48,410
Oh... Uh oh...

13
00:00:48,443 --> 00:00:50,209
It’s not me!

14
00:00:50,243 --> 00:00:52,076
You tell ’em once, you could
tell ’em a thousand times.

15
00:00:52,109 --> 00:00:53,276
I can’t be out yet!

16
00:00:53,309 --> 00:00:55,743
If I am out,
I’m gonna be so mad!

17
00:00:58,510 --> 00:01:00,643
So, um...

18
00:01:00,676 --> 00:01:02,076
I laughed?

19
00:01:02,109 --> 00:01:03,877
Don’t worry. No yellow card
is gonna be given out.

20
00:01:03,910 --> 00:01:05,443
Is it a red one?

21
00:01:05,476 --> 00:01:06,476
- No!
- Oh.

22
00:01:06,510 --> 00:01:07,309
I wouldn’t say don’t worry.

23
00:01:07,343 --> 00:01:08,710
[laughs]

24
00:01:08,743 --> 00:01:12,410
There was an infraction.
Two infractions, in fact.

25
00:01:14,843 --> 00:01:17,676
So, eh, everybody just
watch the fucking TV.

26
00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:19,877
I have to pee again, is
this gonna take a while?

27
00:01:19,910 --> 00:01:20,977
- [Jay] Yeah, probably.
- [Dave] Oh...

28
00:01:21,010 --> 00:01:22,076
[Tom] Dammit!

29
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C’mon, let’s keep
it going, band!

30
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[bad sax playing]

31
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[laughing]

32
00:01:29,710 --> 00:01:30,643
[Dave] Ohhh.

33
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[Jon] Oh, that was close.

34
00:01:35,276 --> 00:01:36,510
Oh, hand over mouth!

35
00:01:36,543 --> 00:01:37,910
Covering your mouth!

36
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{\an8}When you’re trying to not laugh,
you cover your mouth.

37
00:01:40,576 --> 00:01:42,476
So I deserved it.
I deserved it.

38
00:01:42,510 --> 00:01:43,777
And so does Mae.

39
00:01:43,810 --> 00:01:45,076
Um, that’s cheating!

40
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Ohhhh!

41
00:01:46,143 --> 00:01:47,343
[Jay] But, but,
not a yellow card.

42
00:01:47,376 --> 00:01:48,510
Two minute minor, each of you!

43
00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:53,643
In our... cue penalty box bit!

44
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[horn sounds]

45
00:01:54,943 --> 00:01:58,010
[Brandon] Oh my god,
I knew there was a twist!

46
00:01:58,043 --> 00:01:59,543
Of course they gotta
have a hockey reference.

47
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Each of you has
a two minute minor.

48
00:02:01,710 --> 00:02:02,610
You gotta sit there...

49
00:02:02,643 --> 00:02:03,810
[Jon] Oh.

50
00:02:03,843 --> 00:02:05,943
And all of you can
have your way with them.

51
00:02:05,977 --> 00:02:07,043
Yay!

52
00:02:07,076 --> 00:02:08,076
Wait, wait, wait, wait...

53
00:02:08,109 --> 00:02:09,476
Comedy-wise!

54
00:02:09,510 --> 00:02:10,476
[Jon] Oh boy.

55
00:02:10,510 --> 00:02:11,510
You’re in trouble!

56
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Yeah, exactly! Exactly.

57
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Alright, guys.
Once I hit the button,

58
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the game is back on!

59
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[Mae] Ahhh!

60
00:02:20,576 --> 00:02:21,410
[Jon] Oh no!

61
00:02:21,443 --> 00:02:22,676
[Mae] Ohhh no!

62
00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:23,943
[horn sounds]

63
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,443
And we’re back.

64
00:02:25,476 --> 00:02:27,610
{\an8}Hey, you hear about,
uh, Asia’s newest billionaire?

65
00:02:27,643 --> 00:02:29,476
{\an8}His name is,
uh, Cha Ching.

66
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{\an8}Mmmm mmmm.

67
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{\an8}[Caroline] This guy
asked me to send him

68
00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:34,777
{\an8}a picture of
my naked boobs.

69
00:02:34,810 --> 00:02:36,410
{\an8}It was like
bad children.

70
00:02:36,443 --> 00:02:39,376
{\an8}One was looking forward,
the other one was looking back.

71
00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:40,843
{\an8}[Mae] This is terrifying!

72
00:02:40,877 --> 00:02:41,910
{\an8}I have tears in my eyes.

73
00:02:41,943 --> 00:02:43,977
{\an8}I’m like, my palms
are sweating.

74
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{\an8}[Caroline] So eventually
I had to call him and say

75
00:02:45,710 --> 00:02:47,476
{\an8}I’m gonna have to send
them one at a time.

76
00:02:47,510 --> 00:02:49,476
{\an8}- [Mae] Ohhh.
- [laughs]

77
00:02:49,510 --> 00:02:51,710
{\an8}[Caroline] One. At. A time.

78
00:02:51,743 --> 00:02:53,476
{\an8}[Mae] I think that was
my body responding

79
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{\an8}to the extreme
effort of not laughing.

80
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{\an8}I can’t explain the
physical feeling.

81
00:02:58,076 --> 00:02:59,276
{\an8}Excruciating.

82
00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:00,576
{\an8}[Debra] It was
a little chaotic.

83
00:03:00,610 --> 00:03:02,176
{\an8}I was trying to do
jokes but it was too rushed!

84
00:03:02,209 --> 00:03:05,777
{\an8}Hey, who do you think named
the red delicious apple?

85
00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:08,877
{\an8}’Cause he only got it half
right. Mealy as fuck!

86
00:03:08,910 --> 00:03:10,676
{\an8}It’s not an eating apple.
It’s a pie apple.

87
00:03:11,977 --> 00:03:14,576
{\an8}[Jay] Mae Martin is
holding on for dear life!

88
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{\an8}Very close. Very close.

89
00:03:16,476 --> 00:03:18,010
{\an8}Ohhh.

90
00:03:18,043 --> 00:03:19,943
{\an8}It is uh, difficult.

91
00:03:19,977 --> 00:03:23,877
{\an8}It’s sort of like being
in the comedy version of 300.

92
00:03:23,910 --> 00:03:26,576
{\an8}[Jon] Ohhh.

93
00:03:26,610 --> 00:03:28,476
I just kind of zoned out.

94
00:03:28,510 --> 00:03:30,176
{\an8}Oh.

95
00:03:32,576 --> 00:03:35,543
{\an8}[Colin] Potassium.
Very important.

96
00:03:35,576 --> 00:03:36,843
I think I’m on mushrooms.

97
00:03:38,476 --> 00:03:40,610
{\an8}Yeah, I’m on
mushrooms right now.

98
00:03:40,643 --> 00:03:42,510
{\an8}I’m in the forest.

99
00:03:42,543 --> 00:03:45,943
{\an8}Good vibrations!

100
00:03:45,977 --> 00:03:47,943
{\an8}[Colin] You can’t handle the truth!

101
00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:49,476
{\an8}[Jon] Ooh.

102
00:03:49,510 --> 00:03:50,410
{\an8}You can’t handle the fruit!

103
00:03:50,443 --> 00:03:51,843
{\an8}[laughs]

104
00:03:51,877 --> 00:03:54,710
{\an8}And then you’re back
and like, I’m not on mushrooms!

105
00:03:54,743 --> 00:03:56,176
{\an8}Forgot my wig for
the Johnny Carson bit.

106
00:03:56,209 --> 00:03:57,510
{\an8}[Jon] Yeah.

107
00:03:57,543 --> 00:03:58,710
{\an8}That’s why the
jokes didn’t get a laugh.

108
00:04:00,777 --> 00:04:01,843
{\an8}See?

109
00:04:01,877 --> 00:04:03,610
{\an8}[laughs]

110
00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:04,910
{\an8}[Tom] Isn’t it funny?

111
00:04:04,943 --> 00:04:06,643
{\an8}[Mae] I knew that Tom
was gonna get it.

112
00:04:06,676 --> 00:04:07,843
So I was just trying
to avoid looking at him.

113
00:04:09,176 --> 00:04:11,076
{\an8}It’s just the
way he moves,

114
00:04:11,109 --> 00:04:12,910
{\an8}and the sound
of his voice.

115
00:04:12,943 --> 00:04:14,309
{\an8}Isn’t my wig funny?

116
00:04:14,343 --> 00:04:16,743
{\an8}Oh man. I defy anyone
to get that

117
00:04:16,777 --> 00:04:18,309
{\an8}close to Tom Green
and not laugh.

118
00:04:19,943 --> 00:04:21,309
{\an8}[Jon] It’s definitely something.

119
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Uh-oh!

120
00:04:24,643 --> 00:04:26,243
[alarm rings]

121
00:04:26,276 --> 00:04:27,343
[Colin] Oh!

122
00:04:28,910 --> 00:04:31,643
I don’t think I smiled!

123
00:04:31,676 --> 00:04:32,676
Time to be the bad guy!

124
00:04:35,510 --> 00:04:37,343
[Tom] Not sure what
happened there.

125
00:04:37,376 --> 00:04:39,710
[Jay] Well, well, well.
Alright guys.

126
00:04:39,743 --> 00:04:42,376
Uh, well, the TV will do
the heavy lifting here.

127
00:04:42,410 --> 00:04:45,243
And uh, Mae, you probably
wanna watch this one.

128
00:04:45,276 --> 00:04:47,010
Oh-ho-ho!

129
00:04:47,043 --> 00:04:49,076
I think I do
know what you mean!

130
00:04:49,109 --> 00:04:50,043
I do know the moment
you’re talking about!

131
00:04:51,410 --> 00:04:54,043
[Tom] Isn’t my wig funny?
Isn’t it funny?

132
00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:55,877
[laughs]

133
00:04:58,977 --> 00:05:00,176
I did laugh!

134
00:05:00,209 --> 00:05:02,043
Okay, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

135
00:05:02,076 --> 00:05:03,777
Again, so that’s a yellow!
I’m sorry.

136
00:05:03,810 --> 00:05:04,710
That’s fair.
That’s fair. That’s fair.

137
00:05:04,743 --> 00:05:06,043
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

138
00:05:06,076 --> 00:05:07,510
That’s a fair yellow.
That’s a fair yellow.

139
00:05:07,543 --> 00:05:08,476
Don’t get too comfortable.

140
00:05:08,510 --> 00:05:09,576
[Debra screams]

141
00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:10,309
Don’t get too
fucking comfortable.

142
00:05:13,076 --> 00:05:14,710
[Jay] You kids
better be careful!

143
00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:18,743
[Andrew] Woo! Yeah!

144
00:05:21,476 --> 00:05:24,010
[Jay] Mae joins Debra and
Caroline all with yellows.

145
00:05:24,043 --> 00:05:25,910
One more crack up
from one of them

146
00:05:25,943 --> 00:05:28,243
and they’re gone-zo!

147
00:05:29,910 --> 00:05:31,977
[horn blast]

148
00:05:32,010 --> 00:05:33,343
Charge!

149
00:05:36,043 --> 00:05:37,610
[Mae] When I was
in the penalty box,

150
00:05:37,643 --> 00:05:41,109
a kind of existential
crisis set in.

151
00:05:41,143 --> 00:05:42,576
What is comedy?

152
00:05:44,109 --> 00:05:45,243
What is life?

153
00:05:46,743 --> 00:05:47,977
Who am I?

154
00:05:50,610 --> 00:05:53,309
Like, why are
any of us here...

155
00:05:53,343 --> 00:05:54,576
on the earth?

156
00:05:54,610 --> 00:05:55,576
What’s our purpose?

157
00:05:55,610 --> 00:05:56,910
You know what I mean?

158
00:05:56,943 --> 00:05:59,610
There’s nowhere
that I’m safe.

159
00:05:59,643 --> 00:06:01,777
I’m not safe here.

160
00:06:01,810 --> 00:06:04,410
[Jay] I hate to say it,
but Mae Martin fans,

161
00:06:04,443 --> 00:06:05,710
brace for disappointment.

162
00:06:07,109 --> 00:06:11,109
[clock beeps]

163
00:06:11,143 --> 00:06:12,143
[Caroline] Does no one
appreciate that you

164
00:06:12,176 --> 00:06:13,843
- can see my panty hose?
- Yes!

165
00:06:13,877 --> 00:06:16,576
I thought that we were all
going to be character-y

166
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:19,143
and do some kind of attempt!

167
00:06:19,176 --> 00:06:20,877
The boobs are real though!

168
00:06:20,910 --> 00:06:22,343
The boobs are real!

169
00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:25,977
[Producer] What do you make of
Caroline’s look?

170
00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:29,309
{\an8}Um... I don’t know, I’m not
really one to really kind

171
00:06:29,343 --> 00:06:30,643
{\an8}of... sort of...

172
00:06:30,676 --> 00:06:32,543
{\an8}I wouldn’t even know
what to say, actually.

173
00:06:32,576 --> 00:06:33,810
Yeah. What do you mean?

174
00:06:33,843 --> 00:06:35,576
How would you... eh...
how would you describe it?

175
00:06:35,610 --> 00:06:37,243
I’m not sure what
you’re getting at.

176
00:06:37,276 --> 00:06:39,043
[Caroline] I am dressed,
like in full character

177
00:06:39,076 --> 00:06:41,643
and everyone else is
all in normal clothes.

178
00:06:41,676 --> 00:06:44,543
[Jon] Right.
It’s a little confusing.

179
00:06:44,576 --> 00:06:47,543
[K. Trevor]
We’re all Canadian so we’re too
polite to be like...

180
00:06:47,576 --> 00:06:52,076
{\an8}What the fuck are you
wearing, Caroline? [laughs]

181
00:06:55,877 --> 00:06:57,376
When’s the last
time you shit yourself?

182
00:06:59,109 --> 00:07:00,143
Oh, last year.

183
00:07:00,176 --> 00:07:01,376
Ah! That’s recent!

184
00:07:01,410 --> 00:07:02,977
Coming home
from a farmer’s market.

185
00:07:03,010 --> 00:07:05,076
We were driving home and then...

186
00:07:05,109 --> 00:07:06,810
uh... three blocks
from my house,

187
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,943
we turned a corner
and we hit a bump.

188
00:07:08,977 --> 00:07:10,243
And I just shit my pants.

189
00:07:10,276 --> 00:07:11,877
Oh, wow.

190
00:07:11,910 --> 00:07:13,410
[laughs]
Horrible.

191
00:07:13,443 --> 00:07:15,109
So I was like, I’m gonna pull up
to the front of the building.

192
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,410
You run inside.
I’ll park the car by myself.

193
00:07:17,443 --> 00:07:18,543
Right. It’s already happened.

194
00:07:18,576 --> 00:07:20,043
I can’t suck it back in.

195
00:07:20,076 --> 00:07:21,176
Mmmm.

196
00:07:21,209 --> 00:07:22,243
[K. Trevor] You can tell
when you almost got Jon.

197
00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:23,309
Mmm hmm.

198
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:25,043
Just start audibly
agreeing with you.

199
00:07:25,076 --> 00:07:25,877
Mm hmm.

200
00:07:25,910 --> 00:07:27,710
That was his technique, to...

201
00:07:27,743 --> 00:07:28,843
to mask the laughter.

202
00:07:28,877 --> 00:07:31,276
Just go [imitates Jon]
mmm hmm, mmm hmmm.

203
00:07:31,309 --> 00:07:33,076
- Mmm hmm.
- Mmm hmmm.

204
00:07:33,109 --> 00:07:34,143
Mmm hmm.

205
00:07:34,176 --> 00:07:35,343
Mmm, hmmm.
Mmm, hmmm. Mmm, hmmm.

206
00:07:35,376 --> 00:07:39,109
Mmm. Hmmmm!
Mmmmmm.

207
00:07:39,143 --> 00:07:40,443
[laughs]

208
00:07:40,476 --> 00:07:42,276
The first time
I shit myself as an adult,

209
00:07:42,309 --> 00:07:44,710
I was shit-faced hammered.

210
00:07:44,743 --> 00:07:46,576
- Oh yeah, yeah, obviously.
- Completely drunk.

211
00:07:46,610 --> 00:07:48,410
That’s when you’re
supposed to shit yourself.

212
00:07:48,443 --> 00:07:49,676
Yeah... probably a little...

213
00:07:49,710 --> 00:07:51,243
I misjudged a fart.

214
00:07:51,276 --> 00:07:52,743
[laughs]

215
00:07:52,777 --> 00:07:54,610
Mmm. Mmmmmm.

216
00:07:54,643 --> 00:07:56,743
Don’t put too
much faith into a fart.

217
00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:58,810
Don’t... mmmm...

218
00:07:58,843 --> 00:08:00,977
Wiser words have
never been spoken.

219
00:08:02,777 --> 00:08:05,543
Good talk man. Good.

220
00:08:06,943 --> 00:08:08,843
I’ll be honest.
That many shit jokes

221
00:08:08,877 --> 00:08:11,109
is a cause for concern.

222
00:08:11,143 --> 00:08:12,877
You should probably get that
checked out there, Trevor.

223
00:08:15,043 --> 00:08:16,176
[Andrew] Hey, everyone.
We made an hour!

224
00:08:16,209 --> 00:08:17,610
[Colin] Well done.
Well done everyone!

225
00:08:17,643 --> 00:08:19,376
[Debra] Captivating
television, everybody!

226
00:08:23,543 --> 00:08:26,376
Can you juggle?
Can you?

227
00:08:26,410 --> 00:08:27,743
That’s no, so you can’t.

228
00:08:27,777 --> 00:08:29,143
- [Jon] That’s good!
- [Debra] Alright. Good answer.

229
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,543
[laughs]

230
00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:32,376
[Debra] I had a comic when I
first started doing comedy told

231
00:08:32,410 --> 00:08:33,977
me if I couldn’t juggle, I’d
ever make it in this business.

232
00:08:34,010 --> 00:08:35,176
Same!

233
00:08:35,209 --> 00:08:36,510
Do you have a street
joke that you tell

234
00:08:36,543 --> 00:08:38,443
to, like, when you like,
go in for customs

235
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:40,010
and you say
you’re a comedian?

236
00:08:40,043 --> 00:08:41,777
Those guys
are ready to laugh.

237
00:08:41,810 --> 00:08:42,576
What do
you tell them?

238
00:08:42,610 --> 00:08:43,777
[Debra] I’m only half-Italian.

239
00:08:43,810 --> 00:08:46,043
Unfortunately for me,
it is the hairy half.

240
00:08:46,076 --> 00:08:47,576
Um, the only thing
I inherited

241
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,977
from my father was his
eyebrow, singular.

242
00:08:50,010 --> 00:08:52,443
Yeah, if I do not wax
my eyebrow, every 48 hours,

243
00:08:52,476 --> 00:08:54,243
it will grow right
into my hairline.

244
00:08:54,276 --> 00:08:55,943
I could have bangs
[snaps fingers] like that.

245
00:08:55,977 --> 00:08:57,743
[laughs]

246
00:08:57,777 --> 00:08:59,276
When customs asked
me to tell a joke,

247
00:08:59,309 --> 00:09:00,943
I said,
"Hey! How about this?

248
00:09:00,977 --> 00:09:03,543
Why don’t you throw
me in a holding cell?"

249
00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:05,710
Mmmm.

250
00:09:05,743 --> 00:09:08,043
Fair play.
I tell jokes for a living.

251
00:09:09,309 --> 00:09:12,743
I hope those
are not your nipples...

252
00:09:12,777 --> 00:09:15,309
[laughs]

253
00:09:15,343 --> 00:09:17,309
Do you have a joke
that you can share?

254
00:09:17,343 --> 00:09:20,143
I once fell into
an upholstery machine...

255
00:09:20,176 --> 00:09:21,443
I’m fully recovered now!

256
00:09:23,243 --> 00:09:24,910
[laughs]

257
00:09:24,943 --> 00:09:26,977
Stupid, fucking...

258
00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:30,910
Listen to me.
That’s not funny.

259
00:09:33,510 --> 00:09:34,943
I’m gonna punch you.

260
00:09:34,977 --> 00:09:36,343
I know I’m a laugher...

261
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:39,576
{\an8}...but I didn’t realize
how much I laugh all the time.

262
00:09:39,610 --> 00:09:41,443
And everyone is funny.

263
00:09:41,476 --> 00:09:43,543
It’s really hard to
keep a straight face.

264
00:09:43,576 --> 00:09:45,276
I’m in trouble.
I’m in trouble.

265
00:09:45,309 --> 00:09:46,643
Ok, a man goes
to the doctor,

266
00:09:46,676 --> 00:09:47,977
and he says "I feel terrible.

267
00:09:48,010 --> 00:09:49,276
My wife is going deaf.

268
00:09:49,309 --> 00:09:52,543
And so, he says listen,
there’s a very easy test.

269
00:09:52,576 --> 00:09:54,109
- You go home..."
- [giggling SFX]

270
00:09:57,743 --> 00:09:58,576
What was that?

271
00:09:58,610 --> 00:09:59,643
What is that now?

272
00:09:59,676 --> 00:10:02,176
Is that you having an orgasm?

273
00:10:02,209 --> 00:10:07,010
You know, Mae has almost
smiled many times.

274
00:10:07,043 --> 00:10:09,643
Mae is about to fucking
break again.

275
00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:11,209
[giggling SFX]

276
00:10:11,243 --> 00:10:12,610
Hooked into the system here.

277
00:10:12,643 --> 00:10:14,676
[Mae] I had this iPad
with sound effects on it

278
00:10:14,710 --> 00:10:16,977
that I thought was
gonna be a real hit.

279
00:10:17,010 --> 00:10:18,676
And it just bombed.

280
00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:20,309
Hmmm, tough crowd.
Tough crowd.

281
00:10:20,343 --> 00:10:21,610
- Tough crowd.
- Mmm.

282
00:10:21,643 --> 00:10:22,610
- Is this thing on?
- Yeah.

283
00:10:22,643 --> 00:10:23,877
Agh.

284
00:10:23,910 --> 00:10:26,376
[Andrew] Did you have like
an end point for this?

285
00:10:26,410 --> 00:10:27,910
I hadn’t.

286
00:10:29,443 --> 00:10:31,410
Should I do it again?

287
00:10:31,443 --> 00:10:32,076
I think so!

288
00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:33,376
Oh my God!

289
00:10:33,410 --> 00:10:34,510
[Andrew] Caroline Rhea,
like, you just wanna throw

290
00:10:34,543 --> 00:10:36,777
whatever you can at her.

291
00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,843
I’d like to team up on...

292
00:10:38,877 --> 00:10:40,443
You’d like to team up on who?

293
00:10:42,910 --> 00:10:43,910
[laughs]

294
00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:44,610
No, nevermind!

295
00:10:44,643 --> 00:10:46,043
No one. No one.

296
00:10:46,076 --> 00:10:47,143
[Caroline] Oh. Well maybe not
speaking into the microphone

297
00:10:47,176 --> 00:10:49,176
when you’re making
an evil plan.

298
00:10:49,209 --> 00:10:51,877
[laughs]

299
00:10:51,910 --> 00:10:53,510
I am in
the middle of a joke!

300
00:10:53,543 --> 00:10:55,076
Are you still
telling the deaf joke?

301
00:10:55,109 --> 00:10:56,343
If you don’t tell me
the end of that joke...

302
00:10:56,376 --> 00:10:57,877
I really wanna
hear the end of this joke.

303
00:10:57,910 --> 00:10:58,910
[Caroline] I was trying!

304
00:10:58,943 --> 00:11:00,576
He goes in,
he says to his wife...

305
00:11:00,610 --> 00:11:01,777
[Dave] Wait a minute, hold on.

306
00:11:01,810 --> 00:11:02,810
- Hold on.
- Stop it!

307
00:11:02,843 --> 00:11:03,943
I forgot what
was wrong with her.

308
00:11:03,977 --> 00:11:05,043
- Deaf.
- Deaf.

309
00:11:05,076 --> 00:11:06,410
- Okay.
- Ok, she’s deaf.

310
00:11:06,443 --> 00:11:07,576
He goes home and says,
"Honey, what’s for dinner?"

311
00:11:07,610 --> 00:11:09,043
Who gave this advice?

312
00:11:09,076 --> 00:11:10,576
You know what?
This isn’t gonna help.

313
00:11:10,610 --> 00:11:11,610
If I don’t know the set up,

314
00:11:11,643 --> 00:11:13,943
I won’t understand
the joke...

315
00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:15,076
[laughs]

316
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:18,209
[Jay] Dave Foley.
Shit disturber at large.

317
00:11:18,243 --> 00:11:20,109
{\an8}Geez!

318
00:11:20,143 --> 00:11:22,243
I was trying
to do my joke again,

319
00:11:22,276 --> 00:11:24,676
attempting to get them.

320
00:11:24,710 --> 00:11:26,710
It’s not working.

321
00:11:26,743 --> 00:11:27,743
Oh my God.

322
00:11:29,043 --> 00:11:30,410
Man goes to the doctor
because his wife is

323
00:11:30,443 --> 00:11:31,743
going deaf and he doesn’t
know how deal with it...

324
00:11:31,777 --> 00:11:33,176
- Exactly.
- Doctor says "Go home.

325
00:11:33,209 --> 00:11:34,309
"Speak to her until
you can finally

326
00:11:34,343 --> 00:11:35,977
see how deaf she
really is."

327
00:11:36,010 --> 00:11:38,543
He goes in. "Honey, what’s
for dinner?" No response.

328
00:11:38,576 --> 00:11:40,043
He walks ten feet closer.

329
00:11:40,076 --> 00:11:41,810
"Honey, something
smells delicious.

330
00:11:41,843 --> 00:11:44,010
What’s for dinner?"
No response.

331
00:11:44,043 --> 00:11:45,209
He’s getting a little panicky.

332
00:11:45,243 --> 00:11:46,576
He gets a little bit closer.
He yells.

333
00:11:46,610 --> 00:11:48,810
"Honey, I’m so hungry!"

334
00:11:48,843 --> 00:11:51,443
Nothing, he gets right up
in her face and says,

335
00:11:51,476 --> 00:11:53,076
"Honey, what’s for dinner?"

336
00:11:53,109 --> 00:11:56,143
And she says, "For the fifth
time, chicken!"

337
00:11:57,209 --> 00:11:58,410
Oh, so he was the one.

338
00:11:58,443 --> 00:11:59,710
[Jon] Mmmm.

339
00:11:59,743 --> 00:12:01,010
- Okay.
- Not funny.

340
00:12:01,043 --> 00:12:02,810
[Brandon] Okay.

341
00:12:02,843 --> 00:12:05,176
[Jay] I honestly can’t tell if
this is going well or not.

342
00:12:05,209 --> 00:12:06,710
But I hope it doesn’t stop.

343
00:12:06,743 --> 00:12:08,877
That’s like a
Twilight Zone episode.

344
00:12:08,910 --> 00:12:10,743
Not one of
the better ones.

345
00:12:10,777 --> 00:12:11,843
[Caroline] This is like doing...

346
00:12:11,877 --> 00:12:13,143
...a re-enactment
of my last relationship.

347
00:12:13,176 --> 00:12:15,543
No laughing,
no smiling. No joy.

348
00:12:15,576 --> 00:12:17,209
Waiting for somebody to
die so you can get money.

349
00:12:17,243 --> 00:12:19,076
[laughs]

350
00:12:22,543 --> 00:12:26,076
[phone rings]

351
00:12:26,109 --> 00:12:27,276
- Hello?
- Hello?

352
00:12:27,309 --> 00:12:28,543
What’s up?
How’s it going in there?

353
00:12:28,576 --> 00:12:29,910
[Mae] Oh man.

354
00:12:29,943 --> 00:12:32,276
You know I’m sweating.
I’m drenched in sweat.

355
00:12:32,309 --> 00:12:33,810
Yeah, I can
fucking see that.

356
00:12:33,843 --> 00:12:36,276
You’ve been fucking
teetering on the edge.

357
00:12:36,309 --> 00:12:38,109
I know. I had
tears in my eyes.

358
00:12:38,143 --> 00:12:39,610
[laughs]

359
00:12:39,643 --> 00:12:42,376
Could I get um...
could I get my foods?

360
00:12:42,410 --> 00:12:43,843
Lemme see if I can take
care of that for ya.

361
00:12:43,877 --> 00:12:44,977
Okay, thanks man.

362
00:12:45,010 --> 00:12:45,910
Alright, see ya!

363
00:12:45,943 --> 00:12:47,109
- Buh bye.
- Bye.

364
00:12:49,543 --> 00:12:52,010
[Mae] So I have all of
these iconic British foods...

365
00:12:52,043 --> 00:12:53,576
...that are
absolutely revolting.

366
00:12:53,610 --> 00:12:56,977
Like a chocolate covered
scotch egg and like, tripe.

367
00:12:57,010 --> 00:13:00,243
I’m feeling
unbelievably tense.

368
00:13:00,276 --> 00:13:01,243
I’m scared.

369
00:13:01,276 --> 00:13:02,743
[Mae]
Are you guys eh, hungry?

370
00:13:02,777 --> 00:13:03,476
Yeah!

371
00:13:03,510 --> 00:13:04,910
Finally!
A magic act!

372
00:13:04,943 --> 00:13:06,610
You guys know
that I live in England?

373
00:13:06,643 --> 00:13:07,777
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

374
00:13:07,810 --> 00:13:09,043
So I actually brought
some stuff from England.

375
00:13:09,076 --> 00:13:10,109
- [Colin] Oh sweet.
- [Debra] Yay!

376
00:13:10,143 --> 00:13:12,676
It’s nearly lunch so...okay.

377
00:13:12,710 --> 00:13:15,076
There’s a blood pudding pop
right there for you, Tom.

378
00:13:16,576 --> 00:13:17,877
Is this real, though?

379
00:13:17,910 --> 00:13:18,877
[scoffs]

380
00:13:18,910 --> 00:13:19,877
Thank you so very much.

381
00:13:19,910 --> 00:13:20,943
Holy fuck.

382
00:13:20,977 --> 00:13:21,977
You shouldn’t have.
No, really.

383
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:22,643
You shouldn’t have.

384
00:13:22,676 --> 00:13:23,710
Is it real?

385
00:13:23,743 --> 00:13:24,443
No, really.
You shouldn’t have.

386
00:13:24,476 --> 00:13:25,576
Um...

387
00:13:25,610 --> 00:13:27,743
It’s actually frozen
blood pudding.

388
00:13:27,777 --> 00:13:28,877
[gags].

389
00:13:28,910 --> 00:13:30,143
Wow, blood pudding pop.

390
00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:31,810
They’re like diarrhea pops.

391
00:13:31,843 --> 00:13:33,643
It smells like a scab.

392
00:13:33,676 --> 00:13:34,309
Oh God.

393
00:13:34,343 --> 00:13:35,610
[laughs]

394
00:13:35,643 --> 00:13:37,143
[Mae] Sconehenge?
Sconehenge.

395
00:13:37,176 --> 00:13:38,243
[Colin] Great.
That’s great.

396
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:40,610
Sconehenge!
I love wordplay!

397
00:13:40,643 --> 00:13:42,243
Funny, that’s funny.

398
00:13:42,276 --> 00:13:43,476
Oh, this
is all wordplay, so...

399
00:13:43,510 --> 00:13:44,943
I love it!

400
00:13:44,977 --> 00:13:46,443
[Debra] I would be laughing if
I was allowed to laugh at you.

401
00:13:46,476 --> 00:13:47,410
Thanks, Deb.

402
00:13:47,443 --> 00:13:48,209
Ohhhh.

403
00:13:48,243 --> 00:13:49,176
[Mae] Try Sconehenge?

404
00:13:49,209 --> 00:13:50,910
Oh! Wait,
cause it looks like it!

405
00:13:50,943 --> 00:13:53,010
- [Mae] Yeah.
- [Jon] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

406
00:13:53,043 --> 00:13:54,276
It’s, um, it’s wordplay.

407
00:13:54,309 --> 00:13:58,109
Really it looks like it.
You change a letter. Got it!

408
00:13:58,143 --> 00:13:59,510
[Dave] Mae was doing
something that

409
00:13:59,543 --> 00:14:02,276
we in the comedy
business call "bailing".

410
00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:03,843
You can see the wind
go out of their sails

411
00:14:03,877 --> 00:14:05,743
as they were wheeling
the trolley out.

412
00:14:05,777 --> 00:14:08,376
{\an8}Watching a comedian
just completely bail.

413
00:14:08,410 --> 00:14:10,309
{\an8}That makes me laugh.
[laughs]

414
00:14:11,943 --> 00:14:13,710
Mushy pea smoothie!
You remember that?

415
00:14:13,743 --> 00:14:14,376
[laughs]

416
00:14:14,410 --> 00:14:15,376
Mushy pea smoothie?

417
00:14:15,410 --> 00:14:16,710
[Mae] Mushy pea
smoothie for you, Dave?

418
00:14:16,743 --> 00:14:18,443
[K. Trevor] Gonna throw up
just on principle.

419
00:14:18,476 --> 00:14:19,443
[Dave] Thank you.

420
00:14:19,476 --> 00:14:21,777
[Mae] This is really killing.

421
00:14:21,810 --> 00:14:23,643
I think what was bleak
about the British food was

422
00:14:23,676 --> 00:14:26,243
knowing at that point...

423
00:14:26,276 --> 00:14:28,710
wordplay is not gonna
get any of these people.

424
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:30,943
It’s just so hard
to keep the faith

425
00:14:30,977 --> 00:14:32,910
and to keep the confidence,
when you’re looking at

426
00:14:32,943 --> 00:14:36,076
the faces of your heroes
completely blank.

427
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:38,376
That’ll haunt me forever.

428
00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:41,510
Oh, this is
actually pretty good.

429
00:14:41,543 --> 00:14:42,676
Buckingham Fallace?

430
00:14:42,710 --> 00:14:44,843
What’s that one?
Buckingham Fallace!

431
00:14:48,810 --> 00:14:51,410
I’m gonna go next.
I can tell.

432
00:14:51,443 --> 00:14:52,977
[sighs]

433
00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:56,076
It’s eye contact
I can’t do!

434
00:14:56,109 --> 00:14:57,410
Of all the things.

435
00:14:57,443 --> 00:14:58,276
[Colin] You shouldn’t
stand with your mouth open

436
00:14:58,309 --> 00:14:59,043
in front of that.

437
00:14:59,076 --> 00:15:00,476
Just to say, eh?

438
00:15:00,510 --> 00:15:03,109
[laughs]

439
00:15:03,143 --> 00:15:05,243
[Jay] Caroline and Mae,
very high brow,

440
00:15:05,276 --> 00:15:08,176
and both teetering on
the edge of laughter.

441
00:15:08,209 --> 00:15:10,076
Well, that
went really well!

442
00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:11,676
[Dave]
How can you even tell?

443
00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:13,010
How can you tell?

444
00:15:15,710 --> 00:15:19,576
[clock beeping]

445
00:15:20,877 --> 00:15:24,643
[K. Trevor] We got a terlet.
No back up TP.

446
00:15:25,710 --> 00:15:27,676
Gonna be a problem.

447
00:15:27,710 --> 00:15:29,209
♪ I’m so grateful for my ♪

448
00:15:29,243 --> 00:15:32,209
♪ Weak bladder right now ♪

449
00:15:32,243 --> 00:15:35,610
Oh no! Well alright,
the shower it is.

450
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,543
If any of you
watching the show

451
00:15:37,576 --> 00:15:39,543
have met
anyone over fifty,

452
00:15:39,576 --> 00:15:40,977
we pee a lot
more than you do.

453
00:15:42,843 --> 00:15:44,143
Does anyone know
when the custodians

454
00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:45,343
come for the bathroom?

455
00:15:46,410 --> 00:15:47,710
[Colin] No, I don’t.

456
00:15:47,743 --> 00:15:49,010
’Cause it’s already
starting to turn into

457
00:15:49,043 --> 00:15:50,443
like a Coachella outhouse.

458
00:15:50,476 --> 00:15:52,109
[laughs]

459
00:15:55,276 --> 00:15:56,943
He just got
out of the bathroom.

460
00:15:56,977 --> 00:15:59,977
Uh oh! That’s
a big, toothy smile.

461
00:16:00,010 --> 00:16:02,910
[alarm sounds]

462
00:16:02,943 --> 00:16:05,010
Ohhhh. Uh oh.

463
00:16:05,043 --> 00:16:06,109
[Tom] I don’t know.

464
00:16:09,109 --> 00:16:11,043
Houston, we have a laugher!

465
00:16:11,076 --> 00:16:13,143
[Jon] Oh boy...

466
00:16:13,176 --> 00:16:14,810
[Jay] Um, alright.

467
00:16:14,843 --> 00:16:18,576
In the early ’80s, Saddam
Hussein purged the Baath party

468
00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:21,676
of all of those
he found to be disloyal.

469
00:16:21,710 --> 00:16:23,943
They all sat there, sweating,
as he pulled them out of the

470
00:16:23,977 --> 00:16:25,476
audience one by one.

471
00:16:25,510 --> 00:16:28,743
Each person didn’t know if
their name would be called next

472
00:16:28,777 --> 00:16:30,643
because Saddam was crazy.

473
00:16:30,676 --> 00:16:32,843
Anyway, watch this.

474
00:16:32,877 --> 00:16:34,076
Very funny lead in,
by the way.

475
00:16:35,643 --> 00:16:36,877
[Dave] Does anyone know
when the custodians

476
00:16:36,910 --> 00:16:38,343
come for the bathroom?

477
00:16:38,376 --> 00:16:39,576
[Colin] No, I don’t.

478
00:16:39,610 --> 00:16:41,010
It’s already starting
to turn into, like,

479
00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:42,010
a Coachella outhouse.

480
00:16:43,610 --> 00:16:45,543
[Debra] He just got
out of the bathroom.

481
00:16:45,576 --> 00:16:46,576
[Dave] Oh, I see.

482
00:16:48,610 --> 00:16:50,043
[laughing]

483
00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:51,676
[Jay] You broke Dave!
You know the rules.

484
00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:54,276
So, that counts
as a yellow, buddy.

485
00:16:54,309 --> 00:16:55,643
That’s one infraction
against you.

486
00:16:55,676 --> 00:16:57,109
[Dave] Alright.

487
00:16:57,143 --> 00:16:59,576
{\an8}With Dave, I was like,
I don’t know how to get you.

488
00:16:59,610 --> 00:17:04,010
And then, he broke himself.
Oh damn!

489
00:17:04,043 --> 00:17:06,209
[laughs]
Well, that was a relief! Oh!

490
00:17:06,243 --> 00:17:07,209
[band plays]

491
00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:09,109
Well done.

492
00:17:09,143 --> 00:17:11,309
[Andrew]
Woo!

493
00:17:11,343 --> 00:17:12,543
Let’s get it!

494
00:17:15,376 --> 00:17:18,443
[Jay] Dave Foley with the yellow
card. So that’s four comedians

495
00:17:18,476 --> 00:17:20,643
on the brink of
getting the boot.

496
00:17:22,910 --> 00:17:24,543
We really need a broom.

497
00:17:24,576 --> 00:17:26,943
We do need a broom.

498
00:17:26,977 --> 00:17:29,343
[horn blasts]

499
00:17:29,376 --> 00:17:30,510
[Debra] Be Careful.

500
00:17:30,543 --> 00:17:31,777
[clock beeps]

501
00:17:34,010 --> 00:17:35,109
How are you doing?

502
00:17:35,143 --> 00:17:37,443
I don’t know.
I think I’m okay.

503
00:17:37,476 --> 00:17:39,476
[buzzing noise]

504
00:17:39,510 --> 00:17:40,977
[Brandon] What’s that?

505
00:17:43,777 --> 00:17:45,076
[Colin]
I feel something’s happening.

506
00:17:45,109 --> 00:17:46,610
[Jon] Something’s
happening here.

507
00:17:53,309 --> 00:17:54,743
[Andrew] Whoa!

508
00:17:54,777 --> 00:17:57,610
What the fuck?
Holy shit!

509
00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:59,910
NHL star P.K. Subban
in the house!

510
00:18:02,209 --> 00:18:05,910
{\an8}Oh, it’s like, okay.
What is this?

511
00:18:05,943 --> 00:18:09,777
P.K. comes in, ’cause who’s
funnier than a hockey player?

512
00:18:09,810 --> 00:18:11,810
Don’t mind me, guys!
I’m just watching.

513
00:18:11,843 --> 00:18:14,143
Pernell-Karl Subban,
ladies and gentlemen.

514
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:16,076
76, the one and only.

515
00:18:16,109 --> 00:18:18,143
My one and only.

516
00:18:18,176 --> 00:18:20,209
[Jon] Welcome!
Welcome to the gang.

517
00:18:20,243 --> 00:18:22,977
P.K.’s in the room.
What the hell?

518
00:18:23,010 --> 00:18:24,143
You’re just gonna hang out?

519
00:18:24,176 --> 00:18:25,910
Just gonna
hang out. Chill.

520
00:18:25,943 --> 00:18:27,343
Wicked slapshot, by the way.

521
00:18:27,376 --> 00:18:28,309
He plays sports.

522
00:18:28,343 --> 00:18:29,243
Look at them all,
gathered around.

523
00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:30,343
It’s very cute.

524
00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:31,510
[Dave] Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.

525
00:18:31,543 --> 00:18:32,810
Jon Lajoie!

526
00:18:32,843 --> 00:18:34,810
No, no, that’s uh...
that’s Jon Lajoie.

527
00:18:34,843 --> 00:18:35,743
No, just go with it.
Go with it.

528
00:18:35,777 --> 00:18:37,076
I’m Jon La... Yes.

529
00:18:37,109 --> 00:18:37,743
[Jon] Yes. Yes.

530
00:18:37,777 --> 00:18:39,109
[P.K.] Jon Lajoie!

531
00:18:39,143 --> 00:18:40,209
Hi!

532
00:18:40,243 --> 00:18:42,843
[P.K.] Hey! Dave Foley!
Oh my God!

533
00:18:42,877 --> 00:18:44,109
[Colin] Thank you!

534
00:18:44,143 --> 00:18:44,810
I’ve aged quite a bit
in the last few years.

535
00:18:44,843 --> 00:18:45,710
I like that shirt!

536
00:18:45,743 --> 00:18:46,843
Oh, thank you!

537
00:18:46,877 --> 00:18:48,610
Not really,
but it’s decent.

538
00:18:48,643 --> 00:18:49,843
- [Colin] You know what?
- [P.K.] It works for you!

539
00:18:49,877 --> 00:18:51,076
I’m fine with decent!

540
00:18:51,109 --> 00:18:53,877
What, what is this even?

541
00:18:53,910 --> 00:18:55,343
Where’s the, uh,
washroom around here?

542
00:18:55,376 --> 00:18:57,543
Um, just go anywhere.

543
00:18:57,576 --> 00:18:59,109
Honestly, that’s what
I’ve been doing.

544
00:18:59,143 --> 00:18:59,877
I gotta piss.

545
00:18:59,910 --> 00:19:01,209
Okay, alright.

546
00:19:01,243 --> 00:19:02,610
All of a sudden,
he’s just like saying

547
00:19:02,643 --> 00:19:04,610
that he had to
go to the bathroom.

548
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:09,176
So obviously, I told him
that he can go in the fridge.

549
00:19:09,209 --> 00:19:11,243
He decided to go
with the bottle.

550
00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:13,176
- [Jon] Yeah...
- [P.K.] Just, I gotta go.

551
00:19:13,209 --> 00:19:14,443
[Jon] Okay. Oh
boy. Oh boy.

552
00:19:14,476 --> 00:19:16,643
[P.K.] I just gotta go pee so...
just hang on a sec here.

553
00:19:16,676 --> 00:19:17,643
[Jon] Oh, okay. Okay!

554
00:19:17,676 --> 00:19:19,010
What the fuck
are you doing?

555
00:19:21,977 --> 00:19:23,843
[Caroline] Oh my God!

556
00:19:23,877 --> 00:19:27,910
P.K. taking a
pee-pee in a bottle.

557
00:19:27,943 --> 00:19:29,743
Normal day at the office.

558
00:19:29,777 --> 00:19:32,109
I’m not gonna
be that long!

559
00:19:32,143 --> 00:19:35,076
Weird choice, but at
least it was a number one.

560
00:19:36,977 --> 00:19:39,309
Am I for real watching P.K.
Subban pee into a bottle?

561
00:19:39,343 --> 00:19:41,076
- Yeah.
- [P.K.] Sorry.

562
00:19:41,109 --> 00:19:43,476
I got a little
bit of stage fright here.

563
00:19:43,510 --> 00:19:45,777
Oh man. Mortified.

564
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:47,710
And I’m not even in there.

565
00:19:47,743 --> 00:19:49,243
I don’t have my glasses on.

566
00:19:49,276 --> 00:19:50,443
P.K. Subban.

567
00:19:50,476 --> 00:19:52,676
He’s gonna be in
the hall of fame someday.

568
00:19:52,710 --> 00:19:55,209
But one thing that
P.K. Subban cannot do

569
00:19:55,243 --> 00:19:57,610
is get a laugh
with his ass.

570
00:19:57,643 --> 00:19:59,443
[P.K.] Sorry about that.
False alarm, guys.

571
00:19:59,476 --> 00:20:01,676
You have a very nice butt.

572
00:20:01,710 --> 00:20:04,309
I’m sure if I devoted
my life to, to,

573
00:20:04,343 --> 00:20:06,243
being physically fit,
I’d have a nice butt, too.

574
00:20:06,276 --> 00:20:08,043
So there, P.K.
If you wanna get a

575
00:20:08,076 --> 00:20:10,543
laugh on your ass,
stop working out.

576
00:20:10,576 --> 00:20:11,943
[P.K.] Alright guys.
Nice meeting ya!

577
00:20:11,977 --> 00:20:14,076
Thank you, man.
Good to see ya man!

578
00:20:14,109 --> 00:20:14,743
You don’t wanna
shake my hand? Okay.

579
00:20:14,777 --> 00:20:15,777
Yeah, I get that.

580
00:20:15,810 --> 00:20:18,576
Yeah, you probably
wanna do that.

581
00:20:18,610 --> 00:20:19,843
[Colin]
Thank you for your time.

582
00:20:19,877 --> 00:20:20,877
Alright!

583
00:20:20,910 --> 00:20:23,410
What happened to
family entertainment?

584
00:20:23,443 --> 00:20:25,010
[P.K.]
Jay!

585
00:20:25,043 --> 00:20:28,343
Aww....
How’s it going buddy!

586
00:20:28,376 --> 00:20:29,510
It’s good to see you, bud!

587
00:20:29,543 --> 00:20:30,743
Likewise!
[laughs]

588
00:20:30,777 --> 00:20:32,410
- This is awesome!
- Fuck, man!

589
00:20:32,443 --> 00:20:34,309
I think that was a little
bit of a curveball for ’em.

590
00:20:34,343 --> 00:20:36,810
It was a lot
of a curveball!

591
00:20:36,843 --> 00:20:38,109
Did you get
a good ass shot?

592
00:20:38,143 --> 00:20:39,343
Did you see my ass?

593
00:20:39,376 --> 00:20:41,810
Of course. Everybody did.
All of Canada will.

594
00:20:41,843 --> 00:20:44,410
Great! Yes.
I’m gonna head out.

595
00:20:44,443 --> 00:20:46,276
Okay, try to keep
your pants on...

596
00:20:46,309 --> 00:20:47,910
[P.K. laughs]

597
00:20:50,076 --> 00:20:51,810
[Andrew] We are playing for
these amazing charities.

598
00:20:51,843 --> 00:20:54,176
But I thought, could I use
that as a part of my comedy?

599
00:20:54,209 --> 00:20:55,877
I got these
photos done up.

600
00:20:55,910 --> 00:20:56,977
Maybe this will work.

601
00:20:57,010 --> 00:20:59,109
Who’s the kid with penis arms?

602
00:20:59,143 --> 00:21:00,576
Yeah, that’s Pete.

603
00:21:00,610 --> 00:21:02,676
He’s, uh, he found his mom’s
dildo in a drawer

604
00:21:02,710 --> 00:21:05,810
and the dildo fluids
got into a cut he had

605
00:21:05,843 --> 00:21:08,176
and then next thing you know,
his arms became giant dildos.

606
00:21:08,209 --> 00:21:09,276
So I’m playing for
Pete and an entire

607
00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:10,810
generation of
dildo arm kids.

608
00:21:10,843 --> 00:21:13,343
[Jon] Yup.
Yeah, he has dildos.

609
00:21:13,376 --> 00:21:15,376
[laughs]

610
00:21:15,410 --> 00:21:17,443
[Andrew] Once they hit college,
people love them.

611
00:21:17,476 --> 00:21:19,209
But before, there’s a
stigma against dildo arms.

612
00:21:19,243 --> 00:21:21,010
I’m gonna be honest,
I’d be more likely

613
00:21:21,043 --> 00:21:22,710
to believe that he was
born with dick arms

614
00:21:22,743 --> 00:21:24,676
than that he acquired
the dick arms.

615
00:21:24,710 --> 00:21:26,309
No, no, no.
That’s the surprising thing.

616
00:21:26,343 --> 00:21:28,610
Hey man, if you’re willing
to get out of the game,

617
00:21:28,643 --> 00:21:30,443
let this dildo arms kid
have a chance, man.

618
00:21:30,476 --> 00:21:31,176
You gotta give
him a chance!

619
00:21:31,209 --> 00:21:32,643
[laughs]

620
00:21:32,676 --> 00:21:35,010
[K. Trevor] Well, you know
I love kids with dicks for arms.

621
00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:36,109
[Andrew] Yeah.

622
00:21:36,143 --> 00:21:38,643
Uh oh! [laughs]

623
00:21:38,676 --> 00:21:41,710
Dildo arms will fuckin’
get you every time.

624
00:21:41,743 --> 00:21:43,176
[Jon]
[whistling to himself] Hoo hoo.

625
00:21:43,209 --> 00:21:44,209
You alright?

626
00:21:44,243 --> 00:21:46,777
[Jon] I am hanging in there.

627
00:21:51,610 --> 00:21:53,010
You’re making
grilled cheese?

628
00:21:53,043 --> 00:21:54,977
Making some grilled cheese if
anyone wants one. You want one?

629
00:21:55,010 --> 00:21:56,576
- Yeah, I do actually. Yeah.
- Sure.

630
00:21:56,610 --> 00:21:57,877
Are you making
grilled cheese sandwiches?

631
00:21:57,910 --> 00:21:59,209
Yeah I am.
Eh, would you like one?

632
00:21:59,243 --> 00:22:01,143
- I would like one please.
- Oh my God, yeah!

633
00:22:01,176 --> 00:22:02,510
[Caroline] Is there
the remains of one testicle

634
00:22:02,543 --> 00:22:05,343
in this sandwich?

635
00:22:05,376 --> 00:22:06,743
Uh, nope. Nope.

636
00:22:06,777 --> 00:22:09,476
I’ve only got one left.
I’m not using it for this.

637
00:22:09,510 --> 00:22:11,777
Oh, Jesus Christ.

638
00:22:11,810 --> 00:22:13,010
So you have one testicle?

639
00:22:13,043 --> 00:22:14,443
I do. I had cancer!

640
00:22:14,476 --> 00:22:15,209
Oh, you did!

641
00:22:15,243 --> 00:22:16,510
It was from cancer!

642
00:22:16,543 --> 00:22:17,977
Hey.

643
00:22:18,010 --> 00:22:19,376
I’m so disgusted with myself

644
00:22:19,410 --> 00:22:21,543
at how attractive
I find Tom Green.

645
00:22:21,576 --> 00:22:22,810
[Debra]
See, I get it, though.

646
00:22:22,843 --> 00:22:25,043
I like that look.
I always go for that look.

647
00:22:25,076 --> 00:22:27,143
- He’s adorable.
- Long hair and beard. He’s tall.

648
00:22:27,176 --> 00:22:28,810
He’s weird.
What’s not to like?

649
00:22:28,843 --> 00:22:31,543
This is ever a delicious
cheese sandwich.

650
00:22:31,576 --> 00:22:32,943
Tom Green is secretly hot.

651
00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:35,643
He’s like a subtle, hilarious,
brilliant little genius.

652
00:22:35,676 --> 00:22:37,343
Like that was unexpected.

653
00:22:37,376 --> 00:22:39,476
[laughs]

654
00:22:39,510 --> 00:22:41,143
Who wants
someone boring and normal?

655
00:22:41,176 --> 00:22:44,043
Mmm hmm, and this again,
the one testicle helps.

656
00:22:44,076 --> 00:22:45,543
I don’t need
a lot down there.

657
00:22:45,576 --> 00:22:47,343
Do you know what I mean?
In terms of testicles.

658
00:22:47,376 --> 00:22:49,143
- How would anyone know?
- [Debra] No one would ever know.

659
00:22:49,176 --> 00:22:50,410
How would anyone know?
Aren’t they a set?

660
00:22:50,443 --> 00:22:51,743
Don’t they live
in the same bunk bed?

661
00:22:51,777 --> 00:22:54,143
Don’t they?
I thought they did. Don’t they?

662
00:22:55,643 --> 00:22:57,576
We didn’t listen
during gym class.

663
00:22:57,610 --> 00:22:59,476
[Caroline]
And he cooks?

664
00:22:59,510 --> 00:23:01,443
I want a sandwich
before I’m ejected.

665
00:23:01,476 --> 00:23:02,410
Care for a
grilled cheese?

666
00:23:02,443 --> 00:23:04,043
- Thanks!
- There you go.

667
00:23:04,076 --> 00:23:05,109
Care for a grilled cheese?

668
00:23:05,143 --> 00:23:06,309
Yeah, I do!
That’s hot, though!

669
00:23:06,343 --> 00:23:07,943
Take the plate
if you’d like.

670
00:23:07,977 --> 00:23:09,543
Just thought people might
be getting a little hungry.

671
00:23:09,576 --> 00:23:13,676
It’s a delicious
cheese sandwich.

672
00:23:13,710 --> 00:23:16,276
A delicious
cheese sandwich.

673
00:23:18,743 --> 00:23:20,943
Isn’t that delicious?

674
00:23:20,977 --> 00:23:23,710
Isn’t that a
delicious cheese sandwich?

675
00:23:25,276 --> 00:23:26,576
[Mae] Tom Green.

676
00:23:26,610 --> 00:23:29,576
It’s like he’s adding
syllables into words.

677
00:23:29,610 --> 00:23:32,309
Delicious cheese sandwiches.

678
00:23:32,343 --> 00:23:36,877
Isn’t that a delicious
cheese sandwich?

679
00:23:36,910 --> 00:23:39,543
And the repetition.
[laughs] Oh my God.

680
00:23:39,576 --> 00:23:44,176
A delicious cheese sandwich.

681
00:23:44,209 --> 00:23:45,243
Yeah.

682
00:23:45,276 --> 00:23:47,309
[laughs]

683
00:23:49,977 --> 00:23:51,209
Thanks man.

684
00:23:53,877 --> 00:23:56,443
It is a game and the goal
is to make people laugh.

685
00:23:56,476 --> 00:23:59,309
So when I saw that I was
maybe making some progress

686
00:23:59,343 --> 00:24:01,510
with the delicious
cheese sandwich thing,

687
00:24:01,543 --> 00:24:04,943
I... I did kinda go
in on Mae pretty hard with

688
00:24:04,977 --> 00:24:07,743
the delicious cheese
sandwiches thing.

689
00:24:07,777 --> 00:24:10,343
[Tom] Mae.
Tell everyone.

690
00:24:10,376 --> 00:24:13,543
How was my delicious
cheese sandwich?

691
00:24:15,043 --> 00:24:16,510
Mae tried it.

692
00:24:16,543 --> 00:24:20,877
I made delicious
cheese sandwiches.

693
00:24:20,910 --> 00:24:21,877
They are delicious.

694
00:24:21,910 --> 00:24:23,810
[Tom] Mae had one.
Correct, Mae?

695
00:24:23,843 --> 00:24:27,743
Mae had a delicious
cheese sandwich.

696
00:24:27,777 --> 00:24:30,010
Maybe say it again.
It’s working.

697
00:24:30,043 --> 00:24:31,977
The bit’s got legs.

698
00:24:32,010 --> 00:24:34,076
Mae likes my
cheese sandwiches.

699
00:24:35,810 --> 00:24:38,376
Mae likes my
cheese sandwiches.

700
00:24:38,410 --> 00:24:39,543
[K. Trevor] Are they
delicious cheese sandwiches?

701
00:24:39,576 --> 00:24:41,043
They are delicious.

702
00:24:41,076 --> 00:24:43,309
They are made out
of delicious cheese.

703
00:24:43,343 --> 00:24:44,410
[laughs]

704
00:24:44,443 --> 00:24:46,010
[Tom] They are delicious
cheese sandwiches.

705
00:24:46,043 --> 00:24:47,143
[Caroline] Mae.

706
00:24:47,176 --> 00:24:49,810
It’s not funny and
you’re fine.

707
00:24:49,843 --> 00:24:52,076
Think of awful stuff.

708
00:24:52,109 --> 00:24:53,643
[Tom] I will make some more.

709
00:24:53,676 --> 00:24:55,910
Mae, I’m gonna
make some more.

710
00:24:55,943 --> 00:24:57,843
I can’t.
I think you should stop.

711
00:24:57,877 --> 00:25:00,010
[Tom] Should I stop making them?

712
00:25:00,109 --> 00:25:01,476
[K. Trevor]
I would happily eat

713
00:25:01,510 --> 00:25:02,476
a delicious cheese sandwich
if you’re making them.

714
00:25:02,510 --> 00:25:03,476
Oh no.

715
00:25:03,510 --> 00:25:04,743
[Tom] Okay, Trevor,
would you like a

716
00:25:04,777 --> 00:25:06,076
- delicious cheese sandwich?
- No, no, no, no, no, no.

717
00:25:06,109 --> 00:25:08,209
[K. Trevor] I would like a
delicious cheese sandwich.

718
00:25:08,243 --> 00:25:09,476
Mae, very good.

719
00:25:09,510 --> 00:25:11,410
Very good poker
face, Mae Martin.

720
00:25:15,743 --> 00:25:16,710
Can I tell
you something funny?

721
00:25:16,743 --> 00:25:17,410
What?

722
00:25:17,443 --> 00:25:19,643
When I was on...

723
00:25:19,676 --> 00:25:20,777
Sabrina?

724
00:25:20,810 --> 00:25:22,010
- When I was on Sabrina.
- Yes.

725
00:25:22,043 --> 00:25:23,877
They had a puzzle
made of the three of us.

726
00:25:23,910 --> 00:25:27,376
Oh damn! Uh oh.

727
00:25:27,410 --> 00:25:30,343
And my double chin was a
separate piece of the puzzle.

728
00:25:30,376 --> 00:25:32,843
Oh my God. Oh my God.
Shut up.

729
00:25:32,877 --> 00:25:34,810
Oh shit!
Almost laughed.

730
00:25:36,043 --> 00:25:38,176
Oh my God.
Oh my God.

731
00:25:40,576 --> 00:25:41,777
You’re too much.

732
00:25:42,610 --> 00:25:44,410
You’re too much.

733
00:25:44,443 --> 00:25:46,743
{\an8}[Brandon] Ms. Caroline,
she’s so funny.

734
00:25:46,777 --> 00:25:49,410
{\an8}She looks you in the
eye and she’s trying to like,

735
00:25:49,443 --> 00:25:51,810
{\an8}analyze you and figure out
what’s making you laugh.

736
00:25:51,843 --> 00:25:53,176
She was
working her magic on me.

737
00:25:53,209 --> 00:25:54,443
[Caroline]
What about this?

738
00:25:54,476 --> 00:25:57,676
Oh shit, here we go.
Caroline going in for the kill.

739
00:25:57,710 --> 00:25:58,877
Brandon could be toast.

740
00:26:00,243 --> 00:26:02,710
How much will
this freak out Mae?

741
00:26:02,743 --> 00:26:03,610
Freak out Mae?

742
00:26:03,643 --> 00:26:05,810
If I go in like...
[laughs]

743
00:26:05,843 --> 00:26:07,243
[gasps]

744
00:26:07,276 --> 00:26:08,710
[alarm sounds]

745
00:26:08,743 --> 00:26:09,710
[Debra] Oh my God!

746
00:26:09,743 --> 00:26:11,576
[Jon] Uh oh! Uh oh!

747
00:26:11,610 --> 00:26:13,176
[Brandon]
Okay, what happened?

748
00:26:13,209 --> 00:26:14,176
What’s it gonna be?

749
00:26:14,209 --> 00:26:15,343
Yellow card?
Red card?

750
00:26:16,676 --> 00:26:18,643
[Dave]
Oh! They woke the band!

751
00:26:23,777 --> 00:26:26,276
Wow!
Smells like grilled cheese!

752
00:26:29,977 --> 00:26:34,977
Yeah, so without further ado,
just watch the friggin’ TV.

753
00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:37,309
[Caroline]
What about this?

754
00:26:37,343 --> 00:26:40,309
How much will this
freak out Mae?

755
00:26:40,343 --> 00:26:41,410
[Brandon]
Freak out Mae? Yeah.

756
00:26:41,443 --> 00:26:43,977
[Caroline] If I go in like...
[laughs]

757
00:26:48,443 --> 00:26:50,410
Uh oh.

758
00:26:50,443 --> 00:26:51,910
That, ladies and gentlemen...

759
00:26:51,943 --> 00:26:54,176
- I’m gone.
- First red card of the game!

760
00:26:54,209 --> 00:26:55,743
{\an8}I’m so furious!

761
00:26:55,777 --> 00:26:59,510
{\an8}Me going ’ha’,
got me off the show!

762
00:26:59,543 --> 00:27:00,710
My God!

763
00:27:00,743 --> 00:27:01,843
That’s a...

764
00:27:01,877 --> 00:27:03,376
I get to be with
Jay so I’m so happy!

765
00:27:03,410 --> 00:27:05,209
Honourable,
noble way to go out.

766
00:27:05,243 --> 00:27:06,343
That’s a good reason
to get eliminated.

767
00:27:06,376 --> 00:27:07,543
You know what, it is.

768
00:27:07,576 --> 00:27:08,710
I laughed at my own joke.

769
00:27:08,743 --> 00:27:09,977
Awww.

770
00:27:10,010 --> 00:27:11,676
Thank you,
it’s been a pleasure.

771
00:27:11,710 --> 00:27:13,977
Caroline. Caroline.

772
00:27:15,376 --> 00:27:16,309
So amazing.

773
00:27:16,343 --> 00:27:17,910
Bye Caroline!

774
00:27:17,943 --> 00:27:18,877
[Caroline]
Bye everybody!

775
00:27:18,910 --> 00:27:20,843
- Bye!
- Bye!

776
00:27:20,877 --> 00:27:22,176
Stay strong, Deb!

777
00:27:23,376 --> 00:27:25,143
- How do you feel?
- Thank God!

778
00:27:25,176 --> 00:27:26,243
[laughs]

779
00:27:26,276 --> 00:27:27,309
Thank God!

780
00:27:27,343 --> 00:27:30,743
Somebody’s gotta be the first.

781
00:27:30,777 --> 00:27:32,510
Come sit with me here.

782
00:27:32,543 --> 00:27:33,810
I get a special chair?

783
00:27:33,843 --> 00:27:34,977
It’s okay.

784
00:27:35,010 --> 00:27:36,543
I wanted something else
to regret in my life.

785
00:27:36,576 --> 00:27:38,243
That’s why I
did this show.

786
00:27:38,276 --> 00:27:41,109
[Jay] Caroline is the
first eliminated!

787
00:27:41,143 --> 00:27:43,743
Her consolation
prize? Me!

788
00:27:46,143 --> 00:27:48,943
Welcome. So you corpsed, eh?

789
00:27:48,977 --> 00:27:50,977
You know why?
Because women are generous

790
00:27:51,010 --> 00:27:54,576
and men are like,
"I’m not laughing, no way!"

791
00:27:54,610 --> 00:27:56,977
Yeah. I’m not
gonna touch that one.

792
00:27:57,010 --> 00:27:58,610
[laughs]
It’s the truth!

793
00:27:58,643 --> 00:28:00,276
- You wanna hit the green?
- And do what?

794
00:28:00,309 --> 00:28:01,309
Just, just hit
the green button.

795
00:28:01,343 --> 00:28:03,743
[horn sounds]

796
00:28:03,777 --> 00:28:06,043
[Brandon]
Okay, we’re back!

797
00:28:06,076 --> 00:28:09,209
[clock beeps]

798
00:28:09,243 --> 00:28:10,676
- [Mae] Oh...
- [Dave] Oh.

799
00:28:13,276 --> 00:28:15,043
Oh, here we go. Yeah!

800
00:28:15,076 --> 00:28:16,410
Should we play the blues?

801
00:28:19,076 --> 00:28:20,543
I guess it was a
matter of time before

802
00:28:20,576 --> 00:28:22,309
this turned
into hippie jam!

803
00:28:23,543 --> 00:28:24,777
[Tom] Hey, check
out our song.

804
00:28:24,810 --> 00:28:26,410
Everyone, check
out our song.

805
00:28:26,443 --> 00:28:28,176
That Mae and I wrote, okay?

806
00:28:28,209 --> 00:28:29,143
It goes like this.

807
00:28:31,376 --> 00:28:37,176
[Tom]
♪ Delicious, cheese sandwiches ♪

808
00:28:37,209 --> 00:28:38,443
[Colin] Oh, I see!
It’s a whole theme, still!

809
00:28:38,476 --> 00:28:45,643
[Tom & Colin]
♪ Delicious, cheese sandwiches ♪

810
00:28:45,676 --> 00:28:46,943
[Caroline & Jay laugh]

811
00:28:46,977 --> 00:28:48,777
[Caroline] Deb is gonna be
our next person sitting here.

812
00:28:48,810 --> 00:28:52,410
[Mae & Tom]
♪ I like Cheese sandwiches ♪

813
00:28:52,443 --> 00:28:55,977
- ♪ Delicious ♪
- ♪ Delicious ♪

814
00:28:56,010 --> 00:28:59,476
- ♪ Cheese sandwiches ♪
- ♪ Cheese sandwiches ♪

815
00:28:59,510 --> 00:29:02,109
- [laughs]
- ♪ I like them ♪

816
00:29:02,143 --> 00:29:03,576
Mae...

817
00:29:03,610 --> 00:29:07,910
- ♪ Cheese sandwiches ♪
- ♪ Cheese sandwiches ♪

818
00:29:07,943 --> 00:29:12,777
♪ I like delicious
cheese sandwiches ♪

819
00:29:12,810 --> 00:29:14,510
They’re great.

820
00:29:14,543 --> 00:29:19,309
[Tom] ♪ I like delicious,
cheese sandwiches ♪

821
00:29:19,343 --> 00:29:21,376
A lot of smirky
fucking people in there.

822
00:29:21,410 --> 00:29:26,143
[Tom] ♪ I like delicious,
cheese sandwiches ♪

823
00:29:26,176 --> 00:29:27,343
Oh, that’s a laugh.

824
00:29:27,376 --> 00:29:29,309
Oh yeah.

825
00:29:29,343 --> 00:29:31,276
[alarm sounds]

826
00:29:31,309 --> 00:29:32,476
[Colin] Oh, what? What?

827
00:29:35,243 --> 00:29:37,276
Uh oh!

828
00:29:37,309 --> 00:29:38,510
I don’t think my
guitar was in tune!

829
00:29:40,243 --> 00:29:41,343
Dropping like flies!

830
00:29:42,943 --> 00:29:44,343
[K. Trevor] Hi Jay!

831
00:29:44,376 --> 00:29:46,943
[Jay] Somebody laughed!
That means you’re fucking out.

832
00:29:49,576 --> 00:29:50,777
{\an8}[laughs]

833
00:29:50,810 --> 00:29:51,910
{\an8}Oh God, here we go.

834
00:29:51,943 --> 00:29:53,276
{\an8}Think unhappy thoughts.

835
00:29:53,309 --> 00:29:55,510
{\an8}[K. Trevor] The only way I
could keep from laughing...

836
00:29:55,543 --> 00:29:57,443
{\an8}...was chew on my own lips.

837
00:29:57,476 --> 00:29:58,543
[smacks lips]

838
00:29:58,576 --> 00:30:01,410
{\an8}Rub that chub.
Rub that chub. Boom!

839
00:30:01,443 --> 00:30:02,576
{\an8}- [Jon] Yeah.
- [Andrew] Boom!

840
00:30:02,610 --> 00:30:04,810
{\an8}You might have
found my kryptonite.

841
00:30:04,843 --> 00:30:05,810
{\an8}There’s another one!

842
00:30:05,843 --> 00:30:08,943
{\an8}[Jon] Wah....
uh oh. Uh oh.

843
00:30:08,977 --> 00:30:10,176
{\an8}What’s it gonna be?

844
00:30:10,209 --> 00:30:12,376
{\an8}[Jay]
One of you lost your shit.

845
00:30:12,410 --> 00:30:13,877
{\an8}But we’ve managed
to find it.

846
00:30:13,910 --> 00:30:16,076
{\an8}[burps]
Excuse me.

847
00:30:16,109 --> 00:30:18,643
♪