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[announcer] Live from the
LOL Canada theatre,

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it’s Last One Laughing
with Jay Baruchel!

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Featuring the comedian who’s
always in the driver's seat,

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Caroline Rhea!

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Also ready to
steal the spotlight,

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Canada’s queen
of quips.

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{\an8}The fiercely funny
Debra DiGiovanni!

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And you’ll always
get your money’s worth with

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the dark prince of musical
comedy, Jon Lajoie!

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Next up, it’s the granddaddy
of the avant-garde,

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Tom Green!

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But that’s not all!

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There’s nowhere to run
and nowhere to hide.

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From the signature comedy
stylings of the stand up

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who never lets up.

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{\an8}Brandon
Ash-Mohammed!

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And say hello to
your friendly,

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neighbourhood funny man.

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Andrew Phung!

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Always bringing
something to the table.

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Master of characters,

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Chameleon
of comedy,

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Dave Foley!

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He’s at the top of the
improv pecking order.

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Uncaged and middle-aged.

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Colin Mochrie!

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Put your feet up
and enjoy all

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the funny clips from the
Mountain Man of comedy,

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K. Trevor Wilson!

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And the magnetic
comedy “roll” model.

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Don’t turn your back on the
mischievous, Mae Martin!

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And of course
our host...

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The man, the myth,
Jay Baruchel!

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It’s time for Last
One Laughing Canada!

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[band plays]

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[Jay] Holy fuck.

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Are you serious?

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[band continues to play]

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[band stops]

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Hi there!
I’m Jay Baruchel.

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As a professional comedian,

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it’s your job to make
people laugh.

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As a human being, it’s
your natural instinct to

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laugh when you see or
hear something you

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think is funny.

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Take five, guys!

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[sad tone]

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No?

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Okay...

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That’s what makes this show so
wonderfully demented cos for

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the next six hours, ten of
Canada’s best comedians will

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be trapped in this room together
like the fucking

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Stanford prison experiment with
one common goal:

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try and make
each other laugh.

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But here’s the deal: if
they laugh themselves,

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they’re out
of the game.

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Holy fuck...

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And the last one laughing,
now you get the title,

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wins a hundred thousand
dollars for their charity.

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Not to mention the coveted
LOL Canada crown and cape.

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I’ll be watching
all the action from here

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in my souped-
up lodge.

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I’ll be honest, I don’t know
what half this fucking shit does,

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but lord knows
I like a lever!

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Okay, here we go.

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Release
the hounds!

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[upbeat music]

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[Jay] We’ve got our
first comedian.

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Andrew Phung.

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One of the stars
of Kim’s Convenience.

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{\an8}He’s an amazing performer.

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{\an8}The opportunity to
go toe to toe with the

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{\an8}best comedians

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and performers
across this country?

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Holy fuck!
That’s exciting.

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[door buzzer]

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Hello?

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Alright, well I’m
the first one here.

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Look at how
clean he’s dressed.

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You could eat off of him.

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[Andrew] That’s
so funny already.

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Oh no, that’s so funny.

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I’m terrible at
keeping a straight face.

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I love laughter.

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So I had to like
tuck it away.

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Put it away for a little bit.

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I’ll see you. See you
on the other side.

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Oh man, I’m
laughing!

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[Andrew] This is pretty sick.

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I always wanted to host
a late night talk show.

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Please welcome to the
house, our next guest!

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That person!

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[Jay] Who
might this be?

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Peter
Mansbridge?

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Nope, that’s
Colin Mochrie.

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Internationally
recognized improv icon.

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[door buzzer]

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Ahhhhhh!

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No! No!

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[Andrew] Look
at this guy!

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I knew you were
gonna be here.

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I felt it!

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{\an8}Oh, I’m gonna
be playing.

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{\an8}the old guy as
much as I can.

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Maybe a fake heart
attack at some point.

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Aneurysms. Just to throw
them off and then...

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all of a sudden, the pants
come down and they’re out.

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Hey, that’s the game.

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First guest here.

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Legendary improviser, comedian,
star of Who’s Line is it Anyway?

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Give it up for
Colin Mochrie.

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Thank you.

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So this is the kind of response
we should get used to.

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Yeah.

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[laughs]

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I am Debra DiGiovanni.

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{\an8}I like to say dirty things
and I like bad words.

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{\an8}I think it’s probably
because I grew up

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{\an8}in such a strict household.

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The minute I left the
house I was like

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OKAY
MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

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I was just... is that
already too far?

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[door buzzer]

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- Wow!
- What?

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Hi everybody!

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[Jay] Debra DiGiovanni!

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Absolutely lethal stand-up comic
but she is deceptively laughy.

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[Colin] Debra, I’m pretty
sure she’s the first to go.

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I’m gonna say it.
She’s easy.

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And I mean it in
the way of laughter.

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[Debra laughs]

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[Jay] From north
of the wall...

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K. Trevor Wilson, of
Letterkenny fame

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and a friend of mine
since I was sixteen.

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[door buzzer]

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[Andrew] Ohhhhhh!

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[Debra] Hey!

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I know you people!

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{\an8}The painful part
is gonna be

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{\an8}doing jokes to
no reaction.

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But I’ve played some
pretty dead rooms.

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{\an8}I’ve done shows at
retirement homes

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{\an8}where the crowd was
falling asleep.

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{\an8}If you’ve ever had to stop
a show to be like

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{\an8}“can a nurse make sure this
guy isn’t actually dead”.

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That’s a pretty
dead room.

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Holy jesus. Well, that
is creepy. [laughs]

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Horrifying, Trevor.

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A giant fucking
mural of me.

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Oh shit.

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Here we go.
Jon Lajoie.

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Known for The League and, eh,
his hysterical viral videos.

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{\an8}Hello, eh, my name
is Jon Lajoie.

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{\an8}You may know me as the lead
actor in, eh, Saving Private

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Ryan and eh,
the movie Big.

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Those were
pretty popular.

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I’ve done some
other stuff.

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Welcome, welcome!

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Oh shit!

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[Jon] Seeing
Colin Mochrie...

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already I was
like “I’m done”.

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This is the creme
de la creme.

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Um, the dressing
room is in here.

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[Jon] Dressing
room? Ok.

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[Colin] Also, it’s I
guess a prop room.

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[Jon] Oh my God. Okay.

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Oh, props! Classic.

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I’m a huge fan,
by the way.

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Oh, thank you.

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[Jon] I can't...
this is incredible.

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I think if I'm gonna have
a strategy it will be to be

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unconscious, for the
most part of the 6 hours.

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Can I roofie myself
before the show?

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Do you have roofies?

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Yeah, you look like
you have roofies.

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Yeah gimme...
give me one.

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Don’t tell the
other comedians.

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In here?

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I brought
some COVID.

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They’re not gonna
see it coming.

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Oh it’s gonna be,
it’s gonna be funny.

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I think everyone’s
gonna laugh.

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[Brandon] Okay.
Okay, well look at this.

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Okay, here we go.

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Brandon Ash-Mohammed.

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A very talented, up
and coming stand-up.

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[Brandon] Ooh. Oooh.

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Oh God!

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Oh!

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Ah, I fell! My black
hurts, I want a seat.

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[laughs]

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{\an8}I was like, I need
to appear confident.

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{\an8}I am ready.

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{\an8}And then I fucking tripped.

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{\an8}Oh! Oh! OOOOH!

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{\an8}[laughs]

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{\an8}I’m sorry.

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What am I supposed
to do now?

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[chatter]

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[Brandon] Oh I gotta
put my bag away.

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Like everyone is
like very, very, very

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very, very, very,
very like established.

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Like I feel like... that
Taylor Swift character where

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I’m just like... you know
what I’m talking about?

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It’s like, uh yeah!

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[Jon] Check out
the inventory.

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[Brandon] Okay.

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Ooh, they
got Kombucha.

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Very important to
keep you regular,

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and that’s what
you wanna be.

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Very important.

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Not too
regular, though.

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00:09:05,543 --> 00:09:06,510
We’re here
for six hours.

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00:09:06,543 --> 00:09:07,476
Yes. For six?
Oh lord.

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00:09:07,510 --> 00:09:08,543
Yes.

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[upbeat music]

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[Jay] Holy fucking shit.
Tom Green, goddamn!

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There is only one him. Been
watching Tom my whole life.

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[Brandon]
Oh my god!

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WHAT?

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Tom Green entered.

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I was genuinely shook.

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[Tom] Hey Andrew,
what’s up. Tom!

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How ya doing?

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[Andrew] I look
up to him so much.

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I am in trouble.

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[Jon] I think
this is a prank.

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I think we’re actually
on The Tom Green Show.

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Welcome to
the show.

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Welcome to the
show everybody.

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[Jon] This whole thing
was an elaborate prank.

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{\an8}[Tom] [chuckles] No, no.

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{\an8}I’m ready.

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{\an8}I’m ready
to compete.

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I have thought
of some things that

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I wanted to do today.

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{\an8}I probably shouldn’t say this
because when you watch it

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{\an8}and then you realize I
prepared those things,

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{\an8}you’re probably going to think
that I’m crazy, but that’s fine.

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00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,143
You probably
already do anyways.

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[Jay] Holy fuck.

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00:10:08,309 --> 00:10:11,043
Here’s Mae Martin. Canadian
national treasure.

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Taken from
us by England.

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I’ve been in England
for eleven years so

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it’s gonna be
really embarrassing

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{\an8}when I’m like...
Hey!

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{\an8}And they are all like,
Sorry... Ellen?

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[door buzzer]

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Who could it be?

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[Brandon] Uh
oh, uh oh!

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00:10:30,076 --> 00:10:32,176
[chatter]

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Alright!

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Oh my God. I’ve...
this is the scariest

254
00:10:34,743 --> 00:10:36,143
thing I’ve
ever done!

255
00:10:37,576 --> 00:10:39,243
[laughs]

256
00:10:39,276 --> 00:10:41,977
Ladies and gentlemen, what
could you possibly say about

257
00:10:42,010 --> 00:10:45,710
Caroline Rhea other than
absolute freakin’ legend.

258
00:10:47,977 --> 00:10:51,576
[chatter]

259
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:52,810
Hi!

260
00:10:52,843 --> 00:10:54,710
[Brandon] The
queen is here!

261
00:10:54,977 --> 00:10:56,043
[Caroline] Hi Colin!
How are you?

262
00:10:56,076 --> 00:10:56,777
[Colin] How are ya?

263
00:10:56,810 --> 00:10:58,576
[Caroline] You can make
me laugh in one second.

264
00:10:58,610 --> 00:10:59,476
One second.

265
00:10:59,510 --> 00:11:01,176
I make myself laugh
faster than that.

266
00:11:01,209 --> 00:11:02,610
[laughs]

267
00:11:02,643 --> 00:11:03,977
No, we're
talking about laughing.

268
00:11:04,010 --> 00:11:06,576
Aunt Hilda from Sabrina
the Teenage Witch.

269
00:11:06,610 --> 00:11:08,243
Anytime you see
her on TV

270
00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:11,043
she’s swinging bats with
comedy heavyweights.

271
00:11:11,076 --> 00:11:11,977
Trev, Lovely to
meet you.

272
00:11:12,010 --> 00:11:13,043
Lovely to meet you.

273
00:11:13,076 --> 00:11:14,143
This could be the
shortest season

274
00:11:14,176 --> 00:11:15,910
of Last One Laughing.

275
00:11:15,943 --> 00:11:16,877
We’re gonna break
in 2 minutes. [laughs]

276
00:11:18,676 --> 00:11:19,710
[Tom] So cool.

277
00:11:19,743 --> 00:11:20,910
You ready for this
or you ready for...

278
00:11:20,943 --> 00:11:22,810
No, I’m filled with
regret and anxiety.

279
00:11:22,843 --> 00:11:23,676
Anyone else?

280
00:11:23,710 --> 00:11:24,476
Same. Same.

281
00:11:24,510 --> 00:11:25,610
Poor decision making.

282
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:28,010
I don’t know that
Caroline’s competitors

283
00:11:28,043 --> 00:11:31,743
realize that the entirety
of her aesthetic

284
00:11:31,777 --> 00:11:33,743
from extensions
to ripped jeans,

285
00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:35,276
is a deliberate,
uh, joke choice.

286
00:11:36,443 --> 00:11:37,543
{\an8}Yeah, the whole
thing’s a bit.

287
00:11:37,576 --> 00:11:39,510
{\an8}Like hi, I don’t
have prostitute hair!

288
00:11:39,543 --> 00:11:41,576
{\an8}I’m wearing my daughter’s
clothes because I thought it

289
00:11:41,610 --> 00:11:45,810
{\an8}was funny cos it says ‘one size
fits all’ which it doesn’t!

290
00:11:45,843 --> 00:11:48,243
I have my freaking
stomach showing

291
00:11:48,276 --> 00:11:51,243
and my back fat
hanging out.

292
00:11:51,276 --> 00:11:53,443
And no one
mentioned it!

293
00:11:53,476 --> 00:11:54,910
[screams]
What was I thinking?

294
00:11:55,143 --> 00:11:56,576
[Caroline] Is this it? Am
I the last one?

295
00:11:56,610 --> 00:11:57,576
One more.

296
00:11:57,877 --> 00:12:00,476
[upbeat music]

297
00:12:00,510 --> 00:12:01,910
[Jay] Holy shit.

298
00:12:01,943 --> 00:12:05,977
I mean, you know, we’re
not worthy fucking shit here.

299
00:12:06,010 --> 00:12:06,643
Ladies and gentlemen,

300
00:12:06,676 --> 00:12:08,343
Dave Foley from The
Kids in the Hall.

301
00:12:08,576 --> 00:12:10,576
[door buzzer]

302
00:12:11,943 --> 00:12:14,843
[group] Ohhh!

303
00:12:14,877 --> 00:12:16,309
[Jon] Are you
kidding me?

304
00:12:16,343 --> 00:12:18,676
[Caroline] Dave!

305
00:12:18,710 --> 00:12:22,076
[Jon] Dave and The Kids in
the Hall taught me what

306
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:24,777
comedy is.

307
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:29,043
Like, he’s one of the funniest
people in the world?

308
00:12:29,676 --> 00:12:32,877
This is gonna
be so easy!

309
00:12:32,910 --> 00:12:34,676
[laughs]

310
00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:37,076
{\an8}Fortunately, I’m
not a fan of comedy.

311
00:12:37,109 --> 00:12:39,843
{\an8}So I think that gives
me an advantage.

312
00:12:39,877 --> 00:12:42,777
{\an8}I mean I’ve worked with The
Kids in the Hall for 35 years

313
00:12:42,810 --> 00:12:45,943
and they’ve never
made me laugh.

314
00:12:45,977 --> 00:12:47,376
How are you?

315
00:12:47,410 --> 00:12:48,343
Good to see you!

316
00:12:48,376 --> 00:12:50,043
[Dave] I don’t enjoy
sketch comedy.

317
00:12:50,076 --> 00:12:51,576
I don’t enjoy
stand-up comedy.

318
00:12:51,610 --> 00:12:53,476
Oh, I really don’t
enjoy improv comedy.

319
00:12:53,510 --> 00:12:55,276
Can’t abide
political humor.

320
00:12:55,309 --> 00:12:56,810
Can’t stand
toilet humor.

321
00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:59,209
Dark humor... uninteresting.

322
00:12:59,243 --> 00:13:01,243
Character work... uninteresting.

323
00:13:01,276 --> 00:13:02,777
Prop humor,
I hate.

324
00:13:02,810 --> 00:13:04,843
Eh, Roasting,
don’t like that.

325
00:13:04,877 --> 00:13:06,710
You name it...
Don’t enjoy it.

326
00:13:07,343 --> 00:13:08,443
[Colin] This is the
dream team...

327
00:13:08,476 --> 00:13:09,276
[Andrew] This is it!

328
00:13:09,309 --> 00:13:09,843
[Debra] This
is everybody.

329
00:13:09,877 --> 00:13:11,543
[Tom] Alright!

330
00:13:11,576 --> 00:13:14,410
Look at this.
Look at this. I love it.

331
00:13:14,443 --> 00:13:16,576
My heart, just, is filled
with happiness watching

332
00:13:16,610 --> 00:13:17,977
all of them together.

333
00:13:18,243 --> 00:13:19,143
Are we on television
right now?

334
00:13:19,176 --> 00:13:19,710
[Tom] I think so yeah.

335
00:13:19,743 --> 00:13:21,143
There’s
cameras in here.

336
00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:22,443
[Tom] They got all
the hidden cameras.

337
00:13:22,476 --> 00:13:24,543
[Debra] Ten
comedians in a room.

338
00:13:24,576 --> 00:13:25,676
It’s gonna
be a lot.

339
00:13:25,710 --> 00:13:27,977
I wanna, I wanna
say chaos?

340
00:13:28,010 --> 00:13:29,410
I’m wearing
a camera catheter.

341
00:13:29,443 --> 00:13:30,710
[laughs]

342
00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:32,710
I think this
is going to be...

343
00:13:32,743 --> 00:13:35,543
really interesting.

344
00:13:35,576 --> 00:13:38,610
Someone’s gonna take
a shit in there.

345
00:13:39,010 --> 00:13:40,877
Let’s get
this party started.

346
00:13:42,643 --> 00:13:44,143
Alright...

347
00:13:44,176 --> 00:13:46,109
Holy fuck, that’s
a lot of smoke.

348
00:13:46,443 --> 00:13:48,376
Okay, here we go.

349
00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:51,376
Time to lay down the
law with these fuckers.

350
00:13:52,343 --> 00:13:53,443
Oh shit, guys.

351
00:13:53,476 --> 00:13:54,610
Something’s
happening here.

352
00:13:54,643 --> 00:13:55,910
[door buzzer]

353
00:13:55,943 --> 00:13:57,376
[Jay] Oh, hello!

354
00:13:57,476 --> 00:13:58,843
[group] Ohhh!

355
00:13:58,877 --> 00:13:59,843
[laughs]

356
00:13:59,877 --> 00:14:01,176
[Mae] Here he comes!

357
00:14:01,209 --> 00:14:02,977
[group] Yay!

358
00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:04,209
[Colin] Oh Jay Baruchel!

359
00:14:04,243 --> 00:14:06,476
[group] [Chanting]
Baruchel! Baruchel!

360
00:14:06,510 --> 00:14:07,043
[Dave] Hello!

361
00:14:07,076 --> 00:14:07,543
[Jay] How are ya?

362
00:14:07,576 --> 00:14:08,010
Good.

363
00:14:08,043 --> 00:14:10,309
Hey buddy,
good to see ya.

364
00:14:10,343 --> 00:14:12,543
What an entrance!

365
00:14:12,576 --> 00:14:14,276
[Jay] Um, how’s
everybody doing?

366
00:14:14,309 --> 00:14:16,076
Answer at the
same time.

367
00:14:16,109 --> 00:14:19,843
[group chatter]

368
00:14:19,877 --> 00:14:22,510
I’m super giggly so I think
I’m gonna be out fast.

369
00:14:23,043 --> 00:14:25,143
We all think we’re gonna
be out fast. That’s the thing.

370
00:14:25,176 --> 00:14:28,076
I know if there’s
anything comedians

371
00:14:28,109 --> 00:14:30,743
like, it’s fucking rules.

372
00:14:30,777 --> 00:14:32,209
So let’s get right to it.

373
00:14:32,243 --> 00:14:35,443
Basically, there’s one main
rule and that’s do not laugh.

374
00:14:35,910 --> 00:14:37,510
When you
hear this sound...

375
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:40,576
[horn]

376
00:14:40,777 --> 00:14:41,610
...the clock starts.

377
00:14:41,643 --> 00:14:43,710
Don’t laugh at each other,
don’t laugh at yourself by

378
00:14:43,743 --> 00:14:46,843
accident, don’t try to hide
a laugh and don’t laugh when

379
00:14:46,877 --> 00:14:50,010
I randomly mess with you from
the comfort of my lodge,

380
00:14:50,043 --> 00:14:52,309
where I will be watching
you all like a creepy hawk.

381
00:14:53,343 --> 00:14:54,209
Uh oh.

382
00:14:54,243 --> 00:14:56,476
[Jay] If I catch someone laughing...

383
00:14:56,510 --> 00:15:00,143
or even break into a fucking
smile, then this will happen...

384
00:15:00,743 --> 00:15:03,276
[alarm rings]

385
00:15:03,309 --> 00:15:04,209
Oh...

386
00:15:04,243 --> 00:15:05,243
I’m not
gonna make it.

387
00:15:05,276 --> 00:15:06,309
Oh man...

388
00:15:06,343 --> 00:15:09,376
The game will stop and
I will come back to give

389
00:15:09,410 --> 00:15:12,109
the guilty party
one of these!

390
00:15:12,743 --> 00:15:14,309
[Gasps]
They’re beautiful!

391
00:15:14,343 --> 00:15:15,910
Naturally inspired
by Canada’s

392
00:15:15,943 --> 00:15:18,109
favourite pastime... soccer.

393
00:15:18,143 --> 00:15:19,243
[laughs]

394
00:15:19,276 --> 00:15:21,543
If it’s your first time,
you get the yellow card.

395
00:15:21,576 --> 00:15:22,710
That’s your warning.

396
00:15:22,743 --> 00:15:25,376
If I catch you a second
time, you get the red card.

397
00:15:25,410 --> 00:15:27,676
That means you’re
fucking out. Um...

398
00:15:27,710 --> 00:15:29,209
Jay, will there be
cussing all the way

399
00:15:29,243 --> 00:15:30,376
through this show?

400
00:15:30,410 --> 00:15:32,843
They’re humoring
me so I don’t know

401
00:15:32,877 --> 00:15:34,476
what your guys’
rules are.

402
00:15:34,510 --> 00:15:35,610
I don’t work blue!

403
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,943
[laughs]

404
00:15:37,977 --> 00:15:40,209
[Jay] Now, obviously as
Canadian entertainers,

405
00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:42,676
we’re all used to big time
showbiz treatment.

406
00:15:42,710 --> 00:15:47,276
So we made this late
night stage to perform on.

407
00:15:47,309 --> 00:15:48,343
[cheers]

408
00:15:48,376 --> 00:15:51,910
[Jay] Complete with our
own LOL late night band!

409
00:15:51,943 --> 00:15:54,843
[Brandon] Okay! Okay.

410
00:15:54,877 --> 00:15:57,777
So this is where the
black people are!

411
00:15:57,810 --> 00:15:59,243
This is where they've
been hiding them!

412
00:16:00,176 --> 00:16:01,309
[Debra] That’s fun!

413
00:16:01,343 --> 00:16:04,043
Finally, as you
all know, or literally

414
00:16:04,076 --> 00:16:05,610
why would you be doing
this to yourself.

415
00:16:05,643 --> 00:16:07,443
The last one laughing
wins one hundred

416
00:16:07,476 --> 00:16:08,810
thousand dollars
for their charity.

417
00:16:09,376 --> 00:16:11,443
I didn’t know
this was for charity...

418
00:16:11,476 --> 00:16:15,710
Yeah... If you need me,
I’ll be eavesdropping and,

419
00:16:15,743 --> 00:16:17,410
uh, watching you all.

420
00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:18,543
Have fun and
good luck.

421
00:16:18,576 --> 00:16:19,743
Exit to lodge!

422
00:16:20,076 --> 00:16:21,977
Alright.

423
00:16:22,010 --> 00:16:28,610
[band plays]

424
00:16:28,643 --> 00:16:31,109
Alright, not
bad! Not bad.

425
00:16:31,143 --> 00:16:35,610
Um... I became incredibly aware
of my own forehead sweat about

426
00:16:35,643 --> 00:16:39,343
ten percent of the way into
that so, that became...

427
00:16:39,376 --> 00:16:40,743
oh, see much
colder in here!

428
00:16:40,777 --> 00:16:41,710
See ya!

429
00:16:45,943 --> 00:16:47,276
Alright. Alright
that’s enough.

430
00:16:47,309 --> 00:16:48,076
That’s enough music.

431
00:16:48,109 --> 00:16:48,877
Stop playing music.

432
00:16:48,910 --> 00:16:50,877
Stop, stop playing music.

433
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,376
Stop playing music.

434
00:16:53,010 --> 00:16:54,109
I’m scared.

435
00:16:54,143 --> 00:16:56,610
Is Jay gonna come back
and introduce the host?

436
00:16:56,643 --> 00:16:59,443
[laughs]

437
00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:00,977
What the fuck
is that shade?

438
00:17:01,010 --> 00:17:02,743
Don't we all find this absurd,
what we’re doing?

439
00:17:02,777 --> 00:17:03,910
Yes. Yes.

440
00:17:03,943 --> 00:17:04,676
[Jon] The craziest.

441
00:17:04,710 --> 00:17:06,010
[Train whistle]

442
00:17:06,043 --> 00:17:07,576
[Debra] Oh, a little train!

443
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:08,276
I like trains!

444
00:17:08,309 --> 00:17:10,410
But I didn’t know
what it was about.

445
00:17:10,443 --> 00:17:13,977
I don’t remember anything
about a train being mentioned.

446
00:17:14,010 --> 00:17:16,543
[horn]

447
00:17:16,576 --> 00:17:17,643
It started.

448
00:17:17,676 --> 00:17:20,243
[Band starts playing]

449
00:17:20,276 --> 00:17:22,043
That means
it started.

450
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:26,843
[clapping]

451
00:17:26,877 --> 00:17:27,443
[Tom] Okay.

452
00:17:27,476 --> 00:17:28,443
[Caroline] It started!

453
00:17:29,043 --> 00:17:30,676
[Brandon] [singing]
♪ Jesus... ♪

454
00:17:30,710 --> 00:17:32,376
Are we starting? I
guess so, right?

455
00:17:36,176 --> 00:17:38,043
♪ Jesus... ♪

456
00:17:40,610 --> 00:17:44,410
Don’t smile Dave!
Already smirkin’.

457
00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:49,977
[music continues]

458
00:17:50,010 --> 00:17:51,343
Oh.

459
00:17:51,877 --> 00:17:56,043
[laughs] This whole thing
is so fucking ridiculous!

460
00:17:56,610 --> 00:17:58,043
I want that to stop.

461
00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:00,010
[Band stops playing]

462
00:18:00,910 --> 00:18:02,276
Y’all, we're just good
with gettin’ started.

463
00:18:02,309 --> 00:18:03,676
[Colin] Now
the fun begins!

464
00:18:03,710 --> 00:18:04,743
Thank you band!

465
00:18:09,309 --> 00:18:11,143
[Deb] Okay...

466
00:18:11,176 --> 00:18:13,576
Okay, I have to remember
that I’m not supposed to laugh.

467
00:18:13,610 --> 00:18:15,243
Yeah, that’s
the main part.

468
00:18:18,643 --> 00:18:21,676
I have to
get away from you.

469
00:18:21,710 --> 00:18:22,843
I’m just getting
away from Deb.

470
00:18:22,877 --> 00:18:24,176
Yeah, yeah.

471
00:18:26,643 --> 00:18:28,309
They haven't even done
the red light thing yet so...

472
00:18:28,343 --> 00:18:28,910
[Jon] No!

473
00:18:28,943 --> 00:18:29,910
We’re still allowed
to laugh now.

474
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:32,010
No, it’s started, Tom!

475
00:18:32,043 --> 00:18:34,777
Whence it starts,
then we laugh.

476
00:18:34,810 --> 00:18:37,043
and it's who can
laugh the longest.

477
00:18:37,676 --> 00:18:40,643
I thought it was
when the red light goes...

478
00:18:40,676 --> 00:18:42,410
[Jon] You start laughing
and then it’s who

479
00:18:42,443 --> 00:18:43,443
can laugh
the longest.

480
00:18:43,476 --> 00:18:44,410
[Tom] So we’re not
allowed to laugh now?

481
00:18:44,443 --> 00:18:45,376
Last one laughing
is the person who

482
00:18:45,410 --> 00:18:46,810
could laugh
the longest.

483
00:18:49,043 --> 00:18:49,810
Was no one listening?

484
00:18:49,843 --> 00:18:51,476
I wasn’t listening at
all during the rules.

485
00:18:51,510 --> 00:18:53,043
It was like the specials
at a restaurant.

486
00:18:53,076 --> 00:18:54,143
I heard nothing.

487
00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:55,410
[laughs]

488
00:18:55,443 --> 00:18:57,376
Look, we only have five hours
and fifty-eight minutes left.

489
00:18:58,910 --> 00:19:03,010
[Train whistle]

490
00:19:03,043 --> 00:19:04,143
[Mae] As soon as
the game started,

491
00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:06,843
I felt like a hysteria beginning.

492
00:19:06,877 --> 00:19:08,376
Just making
eye contact with

493
00:19:08,410 --> 00:19:10,343
people makes
me laugh.

494
00:19:10,376 --> 00:19:13,543
There were threats at every
turn, I can’t explain.

495
00:19:13,576 --> 00:19:14,743
Nowhere is safe!

496
00:19:18,209 --> 00:19:27,376
[tense music]

497
00:19:27,410 --> 00:19:29,610
No... you get
away from me.

498
00:19:30,510 --> 00:19:34,343
What are you
getting? Weiner?

499
00:19:34,943 --> 00:19:36,576
Yeah. It’s been a while.

500
00:19:39,810 --> 00:19:41,010
Jesus Murphy.

501
00:19:41,043 --> 00:19:42,276
5 minutes in and
Mae’s already just

502
00:19:42,309 --> 00:19:43,843
a tarp flailing
in the wind.

503
00:19:44,343 --> 00:19:46,010
What can I do with it?

504
00:19:47,710 --> 00:19:48,777
What can I do with it?

505
00:19:49,676 --> 00:19:51,743
Well I can do alot with it,
but I’m not gonna do it.

506
00:19:51,777 --> 00:19:52,877
It’s not that
kind of show.

507
00:19:53,010 --> 00:19:55,410
[laughs]

508
00:20:00,476 --> 00:20:03,176
{\an8}This situation...
it’s absurd.

509
00:20:03,209 --> 00:20:06,476
{\an8}I felt like I should, eh,
just get the ball rolling

510
00:20:06,510 --> 00:20:09,777
and sort of establish
that you can go

511
00:20:09,810 --> 00:20:12,743
way too far at
the very beginning

512
00:20:12,777 --> 00:20:16,410
and they’ll
probably cut it out.

513
00:20:21,010 --> 00:20:24,676
[Jon] Hello. Yep...

514
00:20:27,010 --> 00:20:28,810
Yeah, I can
do that, Jay.

515
00:20:29,643 --> 00:20:31,209
Hey everyone!

516
00:20:31,243 --> 00:20:33,010
Everyone, just,
eh, quickly.

517
00:20:33,043 --> 00:20:35,410
I have Jay,
yeah, hold on.

518
00:20:35,710 --> 00:20:36,743
No, you don’t.

519
00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:39,610
Yeah, yeah. These
go directly to Jay. Yeah.

520
00:20:39,643 --> 00:20:42,343
Okay, I could...yeah,
I’ll do that. Okay.

521
00:20:42,877 --> 00:20:43,877
No. You’re acting.

522
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:44,977
This is acting.

523
00:20:45,010 --> 00:20:46,043
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

524
00:20:46,076 --> 00:20:46,676
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

525
00:20:46,710 --> 00:20:48,376
No, I’ll do it now.
Okay, alright.

526
00:20:48,777 --> 00:20:52,543
Um, eh, so Jay has
made a final request.

527
00:20:52,576 --> 00:20:54,209
He forgot to say it
while he was in here.

528
00:20:54,243 --> 00:20:57,243
Um, we all know how
the internet works.

529
00:20:57,710 --> 00:20:58,943
[laughs]

530
00:20:58,977 --> 00:21:01,576
One little controversial
thing happens here,

531
00:21:01,610 --> 00:21:03,176
it’s all anyone’s
gonna talk about.

532
00:21:03,209 --> 00:21:07,109
Well Jay really wants to keep
the focus on Canadian comedy.

533
00:21:07,143 --> 00:21:09,143
Um, and the charities
we’re here to represent,

534
00:21:09,176 --> 00:21:10,977
so on that note...

535
00:21:11,010 --> 00:21:15,143
Um, he has requested that while
the cameras are filming that we,

536
00:21:15,176 --> 00:21:19,343
they’re not filming yet,um...
That we just don’t mention

537
00:21:19,376 --> 00:21:23,309
his, eh, close, personal
friendship with Jeffrey Epstein.

538
00:21:24,843 --> 00:21:26,543
[laughs]

539
00:21:27,043 --> 00:21:30,109
[Jon] It’s just, if we say that
kind of thing here, it’s just

540
00:21:30,143 --> 00:21:32,309
all people are gonna talk
about is like how many

541
00:21:32,343 --> 00:21:34,710
times did he go
to the island?

542
00:21:35,276 --> 00:21:36,977
That’s an asterisk.
That’s a joke!

543
00:21:37,010 --> 00:21:39,176
Um, you know, how
close were they?

544
00:21:39,209 --> 00:21:39,943
They were bros.

545
00:21:39,977 --> 00:21:41,777
Like it doesn’t
really matter.

546
00:21:42,076 --> 00:21:43,610
It’s just fun to
fuck with Jay, right?

547
00:21:43,643 --> 00:21:46,710
[Jon] He’s like the
sweetest, nicest guy.

548
00:21:46,743 --> 00:21:48,576
And we all know
I’m the psycho.

549
00:21:48,610 --> 00:21:49,710
So Jay appreciates it.

550
00:21:49,743 --> 00:21:51,109
Hold on, hold
on, hold on.

551
00:21:51,576 --> 00:21:52,209
Hey dude.

552
00:21:52,243 --> 00:21:54,176
This is such a dumb bit.

553
00:21:54,209 --> 00:21:57,209
Yeah, it was word for
word what you said.

554
00:21:57,243 --> 00:21:59,243
Okay. Okay, buddy.

555
00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:00,443
Yeah, I’ll see you later.

556
00:22:00,476 --> 00:22:01,610
Alright.

557
00:22:02,276 --> 00:22:06,343
Oh my God.
Jon was hilarious.

558
00:22:06,376 --> 00:22:07,943
I was teetering
on the brink.

559
00:22:07,977 --> 00:22:09,376
[Dave] I’m worried
that if I win,

560
00:22:09,410 --> 00:22:09,977
Yeah.

561
00:22:10,010 --> 00:22:11,610
I accidently
selected as my charity

562
00:22:11,643 --> 00:22:14,376
The Holocaust Denial
Defense Fund.

563
00:22:14,410 --> 00:22:17,476
[laughs]

564
00:22:17,510 --> 00:22:19,076
Because I thought it was
defending us against

565
00:22:19,109 --> 00:22:20,376
Holocaust deniers.

566
00:22:20,410 --> 00:22:21,810
Apparently, that’s
not what they do.

567
00:22:22,209 --> 00:22:23,543
[Colin] Right... right...

568
00:22:25,843 --> 00:22:27,176
[Colin] That's nice.

569
00:22:27,209 --> 00:22:28,276
Thank you.

570
00:22:28,309 --> 00:22:32,710
[Jon] You’ve been awfully
quiet over here, Trevor.

571
00:22:32,743 --> 00:22:34,643
You didn’t break at
that Epstein bit.

572
00:22:34,676 --> 00:22:35,343
Nope.

573
00:22:35,376 --> 00:22:37,309
I had the glasses on so I
was having trouble focusing.

574
00:22:37,343 --> 00:22:40,343
[Jon] Yeah. Yeah.... Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah. Ok...

575
00:22:40,376 --> 00:22:43,076
That shouldn’t be
funny, Trevor, but it is.

576
00:22:43,977 --> 00:22:47,043
Hey, uh, they didn’t
say anything, um, but

577
00:22:47,076 --> 00:22:51,176
I’m wondering... if I
have to do a caca?

578
00:22:51,209 --> 00:22:52,510
Do I? I go in there?

579
00:22:52,543 --> 00:22:53,343
You can use
that one, yeah.

580
00:22:53,376 --> 00:22:54,743
It is a working toilet.

581
00:22:54,777 --> 00:22:55,643
Caca? Caca
out of my butt?

582
00:22:55,676 --> 00:22:56,576
There is the TP.

583
00:22:56,610 --> 00:23:01,176
Oh God.
Toilet humour.

584
00:23:01,476 --> 00:23:02,977
Suppose that was
always gonna happen.

585
00:23:03,777 --> 00:23:06,010
I think I might have
to do a caca at some point.

586
00:23:06,376 --> 00:23:08,476
I'm nervous about
the deuce as well.

587
00:23:08,510 --> 00:23:12,843
I uh... I'm not subtle or
kind with my shitting.

588
00:23:13,243 --> 00:23:14,810
You just let us know
when you have to do a caca.

589
00:23:14,843 --> 00:23:16,010
You’ll know. You’ll know.

590
00:23:16,043 --> 00:23:18,810
It’ll be a loud,
loud, furious event.

591
00:23:18,843 --> 00:23:21,343
Okay. Alright.
Alright, alright.

592
00:23:21,676 --> 00:23:24,209
I laugh at everything. I
laugh at the dumbest things.

593
00:23:24,243 --> 00:23:27,276
So this is a
nightmare for me.

594
00:23:27,610 --> 00:23:28,143
I’m stressed.

595
00:23:28,176 --> 00:23:30,076
So my hemorrhoids
are acting up so...

596
00:23:30,109 --> 00:23:32,543
Oh, bro! You and me both!

597
00:23:32,576 --> 00:23:33,176
Yeah.

598
00:23:33,209 --> 00:23:34,810
Bro, up top.

599
00:23:34,843 --> 00:23:35,410
[K. Trevor] Yeah.

600
00:23:35,443 --> 00:23:36,376
[Jon] That’s what
I’m talking about.

601
00:23:36,410 --> 00:23:37,410
Hemorrhoid
brothers, yep.

602
00:23:37,443 --> 00:23:38,877
My monthly
visitor I call em.

603
00:23:38,910 --> 00:23:40,610
Mmm hmm.

604
00:23:40,643 --> 00:23:43,176
Keep. It. Together.

605
00:23:43,476 --> 00:23:44,376
I tee’d this up.

606
00:23:44,410 --> 00:23:45,877
I don’t know why I
did this to myself.

607
00:23:45,910 --> 00:23:48,143
I’m gonna walk
away right now.

608
00:23:48,176 --> 00:23:49,176
Yup. Yup.

609
00:23:49,209 --> 00:23:50,410
Because we’re
getting close.

610
00:23:50,443 --> 00:23:51,309
Yup.

611
00:23:51,343 --> 00:23:55,643
Mmm mmm. Trevor and Jon
are barely holding it in.

612
00:23:55,676 --> 00:23:58,710
My boyfriend has a V.B.P.

613
00:23:59,076 --> 00:24:00,576
- I don’t know what that means.
- -What’s V .
- B P.?

614
00:24:00,610 --> 00:24:02,777
My vision board penis.

615
00:24:03,376 --> 00:24:06,209
Stop. It. Right now.

616
00:24:06,243 --> 00:24:09,176
[laughs]

617
00:24:09,376 --> 00:24:10,877
[Brandon] What is
your ideal penis?

618
00:24:10,910 --> 00:24:11,476
You know what?

619
00:24:11,510 --> 00:24:13,877
If it was a Starbucks, you
would want it to be a grande.

620
00:24:13,910 --> 00:24:14,576
Oh right, okay.

621
00:24:14,610 --> 00:24:17,309
And if they had girth-ay,
you would want girth-ay.

622
00:24:17,343 --> 00:24:19,643
Right? As a cup.

623
00:24:19,676 --> 00:24:20,543
[laughs]

624
00:24:20,576 --> 00:24:22,209
[Andrew] That’s
fucking funny.

625
00:24:22,610 --> 00:24:26,010
Caroline, Dave and Tom
were the dangers for me cos

626
00:24:26,043 --> 00:24:27,743
we’ve been around
for a while.

627
00:24:27,777 --> 00:24:30,443
We know how to
exploit weakness.

628
00:24:31,143 --> 00:24:32,410
Family meeting.

629
00:24:32,443 --> 00:24:33,176
Why is there a
family meeting?

630
00:24:33,209 --> 00:24:34,376
I wanna be in the family.

631
00:24:34,810 --> 00:24:37,410
This looks like a
Canadian family meeting.

632
00:24:37,443 --> 00:24:38,877
Next to hot unabomber.

633
00:24:39,777 --> 00:24:41,810
Nicest thing anyone’s
ever said to me.

634
00:24:45,143 --> 00:24:45,777
[Caroline] Can I tell ya?

635
00:24:45,810 --> 00:24:47,810
I’m thinking the guy I am
dating is too young for me.

636
00:24:49,576 --> 00:24:52,176
[Jay] Thomas Green
with the plastic poop.

637
00:24:52,209 --> 00:24:53,977
We’ve hit the
poo portion.

638
00:24:54,010 --> 00:24:55,510
Already into shit.

639
00:24:57,243 --> 00:25:00,576
Oh! This is close!

640
00:25:00,610 --> 00:25:01,977
Who’s gonna break?

641
00:25:02,410 --> 00:25:02,910
Hello.

642
00:25:02,943 --> 00:25:03,610
WHAT!

643
00:25:03,643 --> 00:25:04,610
Ah. Huh.

644
00:25:04,643 --> 00:25:07,443
Oh, I suffer from
hyperekplexia so

645
00:25:07,476 --> 00:25:08,543
I startle really easy.

646
00:25:09,076 --> 00:25:09,610
[Jon] Ah.

647
00:25:09,643 --> 00:25:11,343
[Colin] Yeah, it's just a...

648
00:25:11,376 --> 00:25:12,610
Good to know.

649
00:25:12,643 --> 00:25:15,977
I’m not a big laugher but
I've been, I’ve had a chagrined

650
00:25:16,010 --> 00:25:17,810
expression since
the age of twelve.

651
00:25:18,143 --> 00:25:20,143
I get vague
sadness from you.

652
00:25:20,176 --> 00:25:21,510
That’s my
resting face.

653
00:25:23,710 --> 00:25:27,209
[Gasps]
I saw it!

654
00:25:27,243 --> 00:25:28,343
[Colin] Uh oh!

655
00:25:28,376 --> 00:25:29,443
[alarm rings]

656
00:25:29,476 --> 00:25:31,576
[Caroline] I did not!

657
00:25:32,276 --> 00:25:33,443
[Brandon] Uh
oh, who was it?

658
00:25:33,476 --> 00:25:35,209
I think that just
means the band comes out.

659
00:25:36,010 --> 00:25:37,243
I think they know
what this means!

660
00:25:42,143 --> 00:25:43,643
Time to be the bad guy.

661
00:25:47,743 --> 00:25:49,476
[Jay] Embarrassing!
Embarrassing!

662
00:25:50,143 --> 00:25:51,276
Really embarrassing guys.

663
00:25:51,543 --> 00:25:52,710
What are we,
twenty minutes in?

664
00:25:55,476 --> 00:25:59,143
So yeah, I’ll direct all of
your collective attentions,

665
00:25:59,176 --> 00:26:00,810
eh, towards
the monitor.

666
00:26:04,309 --> 00:26:05,010
[Jon] Hello.

667
00:26:05,043 --> 00:26:05,710
[Colin] WHAT!

668
00:26:05,743 --> 00:26:06,777
[Jon] Ah. Huh.

669
00:26:06,810 --> 00:26:09,209
[Colin] Oh, I suffer
from hyperekplexia

670
00:26:09,243 --> 00:26:11,109
so I startle
really easy.

671
00:26:11,143 --> 00:26:12,843
[Jon] Ah. Good to know.

672
00:26:12,877 --> 00:26:15,676
{\an8}[Dave] I’m not a big laugher but
I’ve had a chagrined expression

673
00:26:15,710 --> 00:26:18,376
since the age of twelve,
that I’m fighting...

674
00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:19,810
[Caroline laughs]

675
00:26:21,543 --> 00:26:22,643
[group] Ohh!

676
00:26:22,676 --> 00:26:24,243
Terrific recovery!

677
00:26:24,276 --> 00:26:26,743
You know, had it not been
videotaped, nobody would

678
00:26:26,777 --> 00:26:28,743
have ever known you
had just laughed!

679
00:26:28,777 --> 00:26:30,977
Um, so...

680
00:26:31,010 --> 00:26:34,309
[Tom] I thought I saw the
fake poop get a laugh.

681
00:26:34,343 --> 00:26:35,510
[Caroline] I’m
very mad at myself.

682
00:26:35,543 --> 00:26:38,209
Tom Green with
his disarming charm

683
00:26:38,243 --> 00:26:40,710
put down some fake
poo in front of me

684
00:26:40,743 --> 00:26:42,943
and normally I’d
be like,"are you five?"

685
00:26:42,977 --> 00:26:44,877
And instead
I went "haha".

686
00:26:44,910 --> 00:26:50,209
Cos in this show, I interpreted
that as flirting. Right?

687
00:26:50,243 --> 00:26:51,877
I think that's
pretty obvious.

688
00:26:51,910 --> 00:26:55,276
But wait. It’s not just her.
There’s more!

689
00:26:55,309 --> 00:26:55,943
[Colin] Oh!

690
00:26:55,977 --> 00:26:58,176
[Jay] There’s more. One of
you may have thought

691
00:26:58,209 --> 00:26:59,343
you got
away with one.

692
00:26:59,376 --> 00:27:01,843
But we checked
the tape.

693
00:27:03,076 --> 00:27:05,376
Alright.

694
00:27:06,376 --> 00:27:07,910
[Brandon] What is
your ideal penis?

695
00:27:07,943 --> 00:27:09,010
[Caroline] You
know what?

696
00:27:09,043 --> 00:27:10,777
If it was a Starbucks, you
would want it to be a grande.

697
00:27:11,109 --> 00:27:11,777
[Brandon] Okay.

698
00:27:11,810 --> 00:27:12,910
[Caroline] And if
they had girth-ay,

699
00:27:12,943 --> 00:27:15,343
you would want
girth-ay. Right?

700
00:27:15,376 --> 00:27:16,576
As a cup.

701
00:27:17,043 --> 00:27:18,943
[laughs]

702
00:27:20,043 --> 00:27:21,410
[gasps]

703
00:27:21,443 --> 00:27:23,777
[Jay] Debra, this is for you.

704
00:27:24,043 --> 00:27:25,309
You don’t take it!

705
00:27:25,343 --> 00:27:26,843
[K. Trevor laughs]

706
00:27:27,143 --> 00:27:27,977
So they’re really watching?

707
00:27:28,010 --> 00:27:29,043
Yes, they’re
really watching!

708
00:27:29,076 --> 00:27:30,877
There’s like four hundred
fucking cameras in here!

709
00:27:30,910 --> 00:27:32,276
I thought they
would just be glancing!

710
00:27:32,309 --> 00:27:34,109
While you’re in here, are
we allowed to laugh?

711
00:27:34,143 --> 00:27:34,543
Yes.

712
00:27:34,576 --> 00:27:35,810
Oh, thank God!

713
00:27:35,843 --> 00:27:36,843
Now get your willies out!

714
00:27:36,877 --> 00:27:38,243
Let the fucking dust settle!

715
00:27:38,276 --> 00:27:39,443
Hey, it’s not that
kind of a show.

716
00:27:39,476 --> 00:27:40,610
[Jay] Everyone, get
your willies out!

717
00:27:40,643 --> 00:27:42,109
But more importantly,
be better! Ok?

718
00:27:42,143 --> 00:27:44,476
- BE. BETTER.
- BE. BETTER.

719
00:27:46,576 --> 00:27:49,309
Oh yeah, I have a
theme! I have a theme!

720
00:27:49,343 --> 00:28:00,543
[band plays]

721
00:28:00,576 --> 00:28:03,143
Ladies and gentlemen,
public domain grunge!

722
00:28:03,643 --> 00:28:05,643
[Brandon] Woo! Yes!

723
00:28:06,777 --> 00:28:09,843
[Jay] Caroline and Deb get the
yellow card party started,

724
00:28:09,877 --> 00:28:11,877
if they laugh again they’ll
be bounced for good.

725
00:28:12,343 --> 00:28:13,243
Game on babies!

726
00:28:15,710 --> 00:28:16,977
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

727
00:28:17,176 --> 00:28:18,209
No!

728
00:28:18,243 --> 00:28:20,276
I see the buzzy
thing in your hand!

729
00:28:20,309 --> 00:28:22,043
[Jon] Oh no, it’s
still blue in here. Okay.

730
00:28:22,376 --> 00:28:23,843
[Debra] It's still blue. No,
if that noise goes off...

731
00:28:23,877 --> 00:28:24,743
[horn]
[K. Trevor] There we go.

732
00:28:24,777 --> 00:28:25,476
[Dave] There it is.

733
00:28:25,510 --> 00:28:26,343
[Brandon] Okay, now
we’re starting.

734
00:28:26,376 --> 00:28:27,710
Now, the laughter dies.

735
00:28:28,176 --> 00:28:29,276
[Debra] Stop Jon...

736
00:28:33,510 --> 00:28:34,943
Stone face now.
This is it.

737
00:28:35,309 --> 00:28:36,109
Yeah.

738
00:28:37,043 --> 00:28:40,010
[Dave] So when somebody gets a
warning card, it’s like where

739
00:28:40,043 --> 00:28:42,743
we get to be like a whale
breaching for oxygen.

740
00:28:42,777 --> 00:28:44,076
That’s our moment.

741
00:28:44,476 --> 00:28:45,143
[Debra] Yeah.

742
00:28:45,176 --> 00:28:46,343
[Mae] Woah.

743
00:28:46,376 --> 00:28:48,743
Colin, why don’t you
do a pole dance with that pole.

744
00:28:49,376 --> 00:28:49,977
Alright.

745
00:28:50,010 --> 00:28:50,943
[Caroline] Alright?

746
00:28:53,010 --> 00:28:54,977
Why are you, why are
you focusing it on me?

747
00:28:55,010 --> 00:28:56,576
I thought that
was the request?

748
00:28:56,610 --> 00:28:57,476
Eh, Deb wanted it.

749
00:28:57,510 --> 00:29:00,610
No. Nope. I’m fine.

750
00:29:00,643 --> 00:29:05,343
[funk music]

751
00:29:05,376 --> 00:29:07,209
What is that dance
Colin’s doing?

752
00:29:07,243 --> 00:29:08,543
That is godawful.

753
00:29:09,510 --> 00:29:10,076
[Debra] Oh my God.

754
00:29:10,109 --> 00:29:12,710
That’s nice though cos
it’s romantic. You know?

755
00:29:12,743 --> 00:29:14,076
There's eye contact.

756
00:29:14,109 --> 00:29:15,943
Deb, you are so
without romance that

757
00:29:15,977 --> 00:29:17,010
you think
that’s romantic.

758
00:29:17,043 --> 00:29:18,710
I know, that’s
the problem.

759
00:29:18,977 --> 00:29:20,376
I’ll be honest. I think
there’s a red card

760
00:29:20,410 --> 00:29:21,376
with Debra’s
name on it.

761
00:29:26,743 --> 00:29:28,443
[Tom] I can pin on a mic cos
I studied broadcasting at

762
00:29:28,476 --> 00:29:29,810
Algonquin College.

763
00:29:33,643 --> 00:29:35,510
[band starts up]

764
00:29:35,543 --> 00:29:36,143
[Caroline] Oh good.

765
00:29:36,176 --> 00:29:37,243
Tom’s
father came.

766
00:29:37,543 --> 00:29:38,843
Oh, this is handsome!

767
00:29:41,176 --> 00:29:43,376
Oh boy, funny jacket.
Here we go.

768
00:29:43,610 --> 00:29:44,710
Here we go!

769
00:29:45,010 --> 00:29:46,777
Last One Laughing,
great to be here tonight.

770
00:29:46,810 --> 00:29:49,410
It was hot outside
in Toronto today.

771
00:29:49,943 --> 00:29:52,076
[coughing]

772
00:29:53,309 --> 00:29:54,276
How hot?

773
00:29:54,309 --> 00:29:57,510
It was so hot I saw a
sparrow dipping it’s worm

774
00:29:57,543 --> 00:29:59,010
in a Tim’s ice capp.

775
00:30:01,610 --> 00:30:02,676
No? Anyone?

776
00:30:02,710 --> 00:30:03,877
Hmmm.

777
00:30:05,710 --> 00:30:07,243
I need a little
help here, Orin.

778
00:30:07,276 --> 00:30:11,376
[band strikes up]

779
00:30:11,977 --> 00:30:14,010
[laughs]

780
00:30:14,043 --> 00:30:17,543
[Tom] It was eh, hot outside
in, eh, Toronto today.

781
00:30:18,710 --> 00:30:20,076
How hot was it?

782
00:30:20,109 --> 00:30:23,977
It was so hot down at
the reservoir, I saw two rats

783
00:30:24,010 --> 00:30:26,343
water skiing on
popsicle sticks.

784
00:30:29,043 --> 00:30:30,810
[band strikes up]

785
00:30:31,143 --> 00:30:32,610
Ah, thank you very much!
Okay, well...

786
00:30:32,643 --> 00:30:34,576
Because
they’re small.

787
00:30:35,376 --> 00:30:35,943
Is this thing on?

788
00:30:35,977 --> 00:30:38,543
[laughs]

789
00:30:38,877 --> 00:30:42,010
It was hot outside
in Toronto today, Colin.

790
00:30:42,043 --> 00:30:43,076
How hot was it?

791
00:30:43,109 --> 00:30:45,910
Uh it was so hot this
morning, I had to use five cans

792
00:30:45,943 --> 00:30:49,843
of Right Guard and that
was just on my cab driver!

793
00:30:55,943 --> 00:30:59,943
[Band strikes up]

794
00:31:01,143 --> 00:31:02,243
[Tom] Heyyyy!

795
00:31:02,576 --> 00:31:03,977
Because he smells.

796
00:31:05,510 --> 00:31:07,910
Tom was sort of
telling the same joke.

797
00:31:07,943 --> 00:31:09,209
It was so hot
in Toronto today.

798
00:31:09,243 --> 00:31:10,176
Over.

799
00:31:10,209 --> 00:31:12,610
It was hot outside
in eh, Toronto today.

800
00:31:12,643 --> 00:31:13,510
And over.

801
00:31:13,543 --> 00:31:14,510
It was so hot out.

802
00:31:14,543 --> 00:31:15,543
And over.

803
00:31:15,576 --> 00:31:17,510
It was eh, hot today.

804
00:31:18,910 --> 00:31:22,777
It goes for way
too long and it gets

805
00:31:22,810 --> 00:31:24,576
so uncomfortable.

806
00:31:24,610 --> 00:31:27,143
It’s so funny cos he’s
so committed to it.

807
00:31:28,010 --> 00:31:32,610
He’s like, I’m making you
feel weird, and that’s funny.

808
00:31:33,176 --> 00:31:35,176
It was so hot, I saw
the Devil at the Walmart

809
00:31:35,209 --> 00:31:37,176
picking up an air
conditioner. Ah!

810
00:31:39,510 --> 00:31:40,877
That’s some wild stuff.

811
00:31:40,910 --> 00:31:42,043
That is wild stuff.

812
00:31:43,810 --> 00:31:45,343
Tough... tough crowd here.

813
00:31:46,543 --> 00:31:48,410
Mae is very
close to slipping.

814
00:31:49,109 --> 00:31:50,843
[Tom] It was so hot I saw
a squirrel picking up

815
00:31:50,877 --> 00:31:52,309
nuts with pot holders.

816
00:31:53,010 --> 00:31:54,543
[band strikes up]

817
00:31:54,576 --> 00:31:57,443
[Mae] I knew early on that Tom
was gonna be my kryptonite.

818
00:31:57,476 --> 00:32:00,676
The repetition and
having the band there.

819
00:32:00,710 --> 00:32:01,943
Oh my God.

820
00:32:01,977 --> 00:32:02,977
That was tough.

821
00:32:03,410 --> 00:32:05,309
They’re good
but shaky, man.

822
00:32:06,109 --> 00:32:08,510
[Tom] Tough weekend for my
cab driver here in Toronto.

823
00:32:08,543 --> 00:32:11,610
Thanks to illegal fireworks,
he suffered a, eh,

824
00:32:11,643 --> 00:32:13,143
career ending injury.

825
00:32:20,343 --> 00:32:23,176
[band strikes up]

826
00:32:23,209 --> 00:32:24,877
Wait... no, no, wait for
the punch, Orin.

827
00:32:24,910 --> 00:32:26,143
Wait for the punch.
It’s a good one.

828
00:32:26,176 --> 00:32:27,376
This's a good one.

829
00:32:28,043 --> 00:32:31,443
A cab driver suffered
a career ending injury.

830
00:32:31,476 --> 00:32:33,376
He blew his
middle finger off.

831
00:32:33,676 --> 00:32:35,576
[band plays]

832
00:32:35,610 --> 00:32:37,643
[laughs]

833
00:32:38,076 --> 00:32:38,977
Alright! Thank
you very much.

834
00:32:39,010 --> 00:32:39,843
Thank you
very much.

835
00:32:39,877 --> 00:32:41,243
Tough crowd here.

836
00:32:41,743 --> 00:32:42,877
What are we gonna do?

837
00:32:43,710 --> 00:32:45,209
Close. Very,
very close.

838
00:32:45,743 --> 00:32:47,610
Forgot how much I
love terrible jokes.

839
00:32:48,977 --> 00:32:49,843
Damn it.

840
00:32:50,076 --> 00:32:53,376
C’mon, lets keep
it going, band!

841
00:32:53,410 --> 00:32:54,376
Give me a C minor!

842
00:32:54,410 --> 00:32:56,910
C’mon! Wooo!

843
00:32:57,309 --> 00:33:00,410
Let’s bring up the
party up in here!

844
00:33:00,676 --> 00:33:03,010
Let's have
some FUNNNNNNN!

845
00:33:03,309 --> 00:33:10,176
[bad sax playing]

846
00:33:10,209 --> 00:33:11,810
[Jay] Oh shit. They’re
covering their mouths

847
00:33:11,843 --> 00:33:13,309
left, right and center.

848
00:33:13,343 --> 00:33:14,243
They can’t do that.

849
00:33:14,643 --> 00:33:15,777
[Andrew] WOOO!

850
00:33:16,476 --> 00:33:17,343
C’mon now
everybody!

851
00:33:17,376 --> 00:33:18,510
Sing along, you
know the words!

852
00:33:22,743 --> 00:33:28,610
[singing]

853
00:33:31,843 --> 00:33:33,243
[Caroline] I don’t even
know what we’re doing!

854
00:33:33,276 --> 00:33:34,943
What are we
doing here?

855
00:33:35,643 --> 00:33:38,010
What are we
doing here?

856
00:33:38,043 --> 00:33:39,176
[Andrew] WOOO!

857
00:33:41,143 --> 00:33:42,510
[K. Trevor] Woah!

858
00:33:42,810 --> 00:33:45,510
Holy shit! She just
fucking bottled him!

859
00:33:47,643 --> 00:33:49,943
[Jon] Oh shit.

860
00:33:49,977 --> 00:33:52,777
Mae’s not
fucking around.

861
00:33:53,010 --> 00:33:54,043
[Mae] So what?

862
00:33:54,410 --> 00:33:55,777
Is everything breakaway?

863
00:33:56,143 --> 00:33:56,943
Let me try this one.

864
00:33:58,610 --> 00:34:00,010
Uh oh!

865
00:34:00,109 --> 00:34:02,309
You pieces of shit.
They can’t do that.

866
00:34:02,710 --> 00:34:04,376
Put ya in the penalty box
as far as I’m concerned!

867
00:34:05,676 --> 00:34:07,309
[Alarm Rings]

868
00:34:07,343 --> 00:34:08,143
[Jon] Uh oh.

869
00:34:08,176 --> 00:34:08,810
Was it you?

870
00:34:08,843 --> 00:34:09,443
That was you.

871
00:34:09,476 --> 00:34:10,309
I don't think so.

872
00:34:10,343 --> 00:34:11,276
It’s not me!

873
00:34:11,309 --> 00:34:13,610
[Debra] Cannot be me!
I did not do it!

874
00:34:16,343 --> 00:34:19,476
You tell ‘em once, you could
tell ‘em a thousand times.

875
00:34:19,510 --> 00:34:21,910
Can’t teach people
how to listen!

876
00:34:23,076 --> 00:34:24,109
Am I out?

877
00:34:24,610 --> 00:34:25,576
Um...

878
00:34:25,610 --> 00:34:26,977
[Caroline] I’m
out. I laughed?

879
00:34:27,010 --> 00:34:28,610
[Jay] There was
an infraction.

880
00:34:28,910 --> 00:34:30,209
Two infractions
in fact.

881
00:34:30,676 --> 00:34:31,276
[Tom] Oh my God.

882
00:34:31,309 --> 00:34:33,243
[Jay] Everyone just
watch the fucking TV.

883
00:34:33,510 --> 00:34:34,476
[Jon] Uh oh...

884
00:34:35,143 --> 00:34:36,676
I hope those
are not your nipples.

885
00:34:36,710 --> 00:34:39,576
[Jay] I look around and the
icons that I’m watching

886
00:34:39,610 --> 00:34:41,343
are all friggin’
like rockstars.

887
00:34:41,376 --> 00:34:42,376
Ya know,
fucking titans.

888
00:34:42,410 --> 00:34:44,143
They’re all very funny.

889
00:34:44,176 --> 00:34:45,610
I am in the
middle of a joke.

890
00:34:45,643 --> 00:34:48,510
[Jon] You’re in this situation,
and l start thinking

891
00:34:48,543 --> 00:34:49,910
“I think I’m
on mushrooms”.

892
00:34:49,943 --> 00:34:51,443
[Mae] Oh my God.

893
00:34:51,476 --> 00:34:54,043
Mae likes my
cheese sandwiches.

894
00:34:54,076 --> 00:34:55,176
Nowhere is safe!

895
00:34:55,209 --> 00:34:56,910
[Andrew] Woah!

896
00:34:56,943 --> 00:34:58,543
What the fuck?

897
00:34:58,576 --> 00:35:01,176
That’s like a
Twilight Zone episode.

898
00:35:03,109 --> 00:35:06,943
{\an8}[Jay] Ladies and gentlemen. The
first red card of the game.

899
00:35:09,476 --> 00:35:10,576
What the
fuck is this show?

900
00:35:14,843 --> 00:35:20,309
["Poets" By
Tragically Hip plays]