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♪ upbeat theme playing ♪

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♪ Ba‐ba‐ba‐ba,
ba‐ba‐ba‐ba ♪

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♪ Ba‐ba, da‐da‐da‐da‐da‐da
da‐da‐da ♪

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♪

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‐ House, call my son.
AUTOMATED VOICE: Lights on.

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‐ It's 2050,
how does this still not work?

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Call. My. Son!

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And turn down the damn lights.

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[beeping]
SON [on video call]: Hi, Mom.

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‐ Oh, hi, sweetie!

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Oh, you look tired.
SON: Okay, thanks for calling.

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‐ Are you busy?
SON: Not really. Just finished studying.

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‐ [laughs] Good 'cause I wanna tell you

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the story of how I met your father.

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SON:
I already know how you met Dad.

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‐ Ah, you know the basics,

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but it's time for me to tell you
the unabridged version.

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SON: How many glasses
of that wine have you had?

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‐ Just enough to include the sexy bits.

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[laughs]

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SON:
Oh good god, here we go.

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‐ Now, like a lot of
love stories back in 2022,

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this one starts with a Tinder date.

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‐ Excuse me.

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FUTURE MOM: Actually, it starts with me
being late to a Tinder date.

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‐ Don't hit me! Don't hit me!
[car honking]

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‐ Uh, Sophie?
‐ Yeah!

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‐ Hey, I'm Jesse.
This is my best friend Sid.

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Don't mind him, he's just hitching a ride.

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‐ Oh! Ask me why I'm hitching a ride.

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[Jesse sighs]

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Come on! Ask me!
‐ Uh, w‐why are you hitching a ride, Sid?

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‐ I'm proposing to my girlfriend tonight.
[Sophie gasps]

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Wow, girlfriend! Not gonna be
saying that much longer!

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Someone's gonna be nothing but fiancée!

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Fiancée! Fiancée! Fiancée!

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‐ Sophie, be a dear and choke me out
with this charging cord, would you?

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‐ Ooh, actually, can I use it

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'cause my phone's belly is hungry.
She's all,

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[baby voice, crying]:
"Feed me, Mama!"

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Okay, tell me everything.
Who is she?

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‐ Okay, so her name's Hannah.

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She's a surgical resident in LA,

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so we've been doing
the long‐distance thing

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while I'm here
running my bar, Pemberton's.

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‐ Uh, look at you,
locking down a surgeon!

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[laughs]
How you gonna ask her?

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‐ So, she thinks we're gonna go
see Beyoncé tonight,

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but really, I got all our friends
waiting at my bar to surprise her.

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‐ You think she's gonna be a little bummed
that you're not actually seeing Beyoncé?

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‐ I keep telling him
she's gonna be bummed.

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‐ Okay, a lifetime with me
is better than Beyoncé.

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‐ Sure.
‐ Hm...

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So, uh, what about you, Sophie?

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What's going on at the Rosewood bar?

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‐ Okay, uh,

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I know this might sound crazy,

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but I think I've found the man

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that I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life with.

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‐ Hm.
‐ Yeah.

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Only thing is he's from Tinder, and we
haven't actually met in real life yet.

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‐ Oh, very You've Got Mail.

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‐ More like you've got unrealistic
expectations for this date.

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‐ Okay, I‐I know how this sounds,

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but I am not some wide‐eyed dope

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who thinks she's found true love
every time some douchey ibanker

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swipes right and texts, "'Sup?"

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[Jesse laughs]
My last Tinder date was the worst one yet.

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The guy showed up 20 minutes late.

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‐ Sophie? Sorry, I'm late.

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‐ Oh. That's okay.

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Subway delay?

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‐ Uh, no, actually, I was, uh...

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I was on another date
before this, and, uh,

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let's just say it went well.

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Like, uh...

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Like really well.

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Like, I just had sex.

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‐ He told you that?!
‐ Why would he tell you that?!

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‐ That's not even the worst part.

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He actually thought that telling me
he just had sex was charming.

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He thought I'd just laugh
and smile and say,

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"That's so crazy!" Because,
God forbid, a woman in this city

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actually expects anything from a guy,

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even if it's just the basic
decency to not tell her

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he just had sexual intercourse
with someone else!

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What is wrong with everyone?!

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And right there, outside that bar,

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I decided to quit Tinder.

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But when I went to deactivate
my account...

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[ding]
I matched with Ian.

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‐ You matched with Ian?!
She matched with Ian.

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‐ Yeah.
‐ It started with

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your typical flirty banter,
you know, just getting to know you stuff.

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Who was your first celebrity crush?

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IAN:
Tia Mowry. You?

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SOPHIE:
Buzz Lightyear.

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IAN:
Oh, an astronaut made of plastic...

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Freaky!

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[laughs]

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‐ And then we started to
actually get to know each other.

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IAN:
What kind of photography do you do?

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SOPHIE: Right now,
I shoot stuff like birthday parties

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and engagement photos to pay the rent,

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but my heart
is in street photography.

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IAN:
That's when you sneak up on a stranger,

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take their picture, and then run away
before they punch you, right?

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SOPHIE:
That's exactly right.

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What do you do?
IAN: I know this sounds made up,

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but I'm a marine biologist.

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SOPHIE:
That is 100% made up.

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‐ And before long,
we were texting all day.

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All night, too.

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First kiss?
IAN: Mabel Greyhound, seventh grade.

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SOPHIE: You cook?
IAN: One of my favorite hobbies.

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[overlapping flirty banter]

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IAN:
I've been thinkin' about you all day.

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‐ Oh my god, Ian,
ask a girl out already!

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‐ I was thinking the exact same thing!

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So, are you ever gonna ask me
to meet you in real life?

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IAN:
I'd love to,

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but I'm in Australia for work
for the next two weeks.

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‐ So, we made plans to meet up
when he got back,

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and that brings us to tonight,

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and my last first date ever.

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‐ Wow, that's romantic as hell.

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‐ I know, right?

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What does the killjoy think?
‐ Hey!

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Look, I got a real good
feeling about this Ian guy.

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No, no. I can't do it.

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No, the truth is the chances of this guy

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being your soul mate are lower than low.

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I mean, there's a better chance of you
giving me a five‐star review

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after this rude assessment I'm making.

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Speaking of which,
don't forget your phone.

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‐ Ah. Thanks.

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[opens door]
Uh, happy proposing.

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SID:
Thank you.

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[shuts door]
[street chatter]

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‐ What?
‐ Ooh... You liked her.

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‐ Did not.

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‐ Did, too.
‐ Did not!

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‐ Did not.
‐ Did, too‐‐ Dammit.

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[bar chatter]

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♪ quiet music ♪

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‐ Ian?

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‐ Sophie!

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‐ [laughs] Hi.

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‐ Hi.

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‐ And thus began the best first date
I'd ever been on.

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A date so good, you don't
even check your phone.

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SOPHIE'S SON: Whoa.
‐ I know.

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[laughs]

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‐ You know, we should go see
that new movie next week

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where walking Joaquin Phoenix
plays Amelia Earhart.

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FUTURE SOPHIE:
And then it happened.

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♪ quiet music ♪

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‐ What?

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‐ Okay, so...

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Sophie, the thing is...

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I'm moving to Australia.

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‐ You just got back from there.

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‐ I know.

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It was only supposed
to be a research trip,

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but right before I left,
they offered me a full‐time job

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on a team that's helping
endangered coral reef procreate.

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[Sophie chuckles]

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‐ Can't you just...

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light a candle
and put on some soft rock?

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I mean, that always works for me.

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[scoffs]

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When are you leaving?

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‐ Tonight.

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‐ Tonight.

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‐ I only came back to New York
to pack and sublet my place.

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I know I should have
told you this sooner.

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I was just afraid
that you wouldn't come,

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and...

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I had to meet you, Sophie.

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♪

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FUTURE SOPHIE:
And so,

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we decided it would be a bad idea

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to start a long‐distance relationship

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after just a few weeks of texting

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and an amazing first date.

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[both sigh]

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‐ Goodbye, Sophie.

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‐ Goodbye, Ian.

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‐ Uh... [laughs]

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I kind of wanna kiss you right now.

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‐ I kind of want that, too.

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Uh... I think it's best if we don't.

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Maybe someday.

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[Ian sighs]

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‐ Yeah. Someday.

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‐ I was devastated.

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But at least I was coming home
to my bestie,

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Aunt Valentina!

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She was just back
from Fashion Week in London.

200
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SOPHIE:
Oh! I'm so happy you're home.

201
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:24,630
I missed you so much.

202
00:08:24,630 --> 00:08:26,173
‐ We don't have time for
"I miss yous!" Dish.

203
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,549
How was your date with Ian? Was he tall?

204
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,635
‐ Yes.
‐ Was he a good listener?

205
00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:30,636
‐ Yes.

206
00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:33,138
‐ Were his eyes as kind as his photo?

207
00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:34,223
‐ Yes!

208
00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:36,683
[squealing]

209
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,310
‐ Why aren't you jumping?

210
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,939
‐ Because he's moving to Australia.

211
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‐ Soph, I am so sorry.

212
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Did you bang one out anyway?

213
00:08:49,947 --> 00:08:51,240
[laughs]

214
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,742
‐ Oh, at least I still have you.

215
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:55,410
You know what? We can just be

216
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two single New York ladies
doing it for ourselves.

217
00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:01,124
We can start a podcast called
"Who Needs Men?"

218
00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:03,961
‐ Ah! Yeah! Uh, about that‐‐

219
00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:05,003
‐ We can workshop the title later.

220
00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:07,756
‐ Oh my god!
‐ [screaming] My god!

221
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,049
A pervert! A pervert!

222
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,343
‐ Please don't spray me!
I have an extremely delicate face!

223
00:09:11,343 --> 00:09:14,805
‐ He's not a pervert.
This is Charlie.

224
00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:18,058
Okay, he's sort of a pervert,
but in a good way,

225
00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:20,102
[exhales]
‐ You must be Sophie.

226
00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:22,145
It's a real pleasure‐‐ Oh my god.

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I'll go round up a robe.

228
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‐ Y‐‐ Funny story.

229
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We me at London Fashion Week.
Hit it off...

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big time.

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One thing led to another,

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and now he... lives with us.
So, back to you and Ian‐‐

233
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‐ Wait, what?!
‐ I know, this is fast,

234
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,749
but when he told his crazy fancy

235
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,878
"high society" family
that he was heading to New York

236
00:09:45,878 --> 00:09:49,047
to be with a Mexican assistant stylist,

237
00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:51,466
they made some very
outdated Ugly Betty jabs,

238
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:53,510
and then they cut off his trust fund!

239
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‐ They Meghan Markled you guys.

240
00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:58,223
‐ Although, it's for the best.

241
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I mean, who needs
unlimited wealth and palaces?

242
00:09:59,892 --> 00:10:03,437
I will get by on my charm
and my street smarts.

243
00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:06,940
‐ I can see your penis again.
‐ Oh! [nervous laugh]

244
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,318
[deep voice]: Stay in there, lad.
‐ Hm.

245
00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:10,944
‐ There my undies are!

246
00:10:11,737 --> 00:10:13,780
That's right. Completely forgot

247
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,033
we started out here
with all the fruit play.

248
00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:19,036
[gags]

249
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:23,207
‐ You might wanna toss those, too.

250
00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:24,458
‐ These were organic!

251
00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:29,755
So, I said I know this is fast,
but I am super into him,

252
00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:32,925
and I decided I am not
gonna let something as irrational

253
00:10:32,925 --> 00:10:34,843
as rational thinking
stand in the way of that.

254
00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:36,929
FUTURE SOPHIE:
And that's when I realized...

255
00:10:36,929 --> 00:10:39,973
‐ I let rational thinking stand
in the way of me and Ian.

256
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,683
I mean, sure, he's moving
to a different continent,

257
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:44,728
but, you know, I've got tons of miles.
We can always have Facesex.

258
00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:46,730
‐ Whoa, what is Facesex?
‐ I think she's mixing up

259
00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:47,731
Facetime and phone sex.

260
00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:49,525
I'm the cool friend.

261
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,736
‐ I have to tell Ian that
ending things was a mistake.

262
00:10:52,736 --> 00:10:54,530
‐ Yes. Yes!

263
00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:57,115
Tell him. Oh, I'd love that for you!

264
00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:58,617
And this is where you say you love

265
00:10:58,617 --> 00:11:01,078
my "British guy moves in with us"
plan for me.

266
00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:06,875
‐ Ah! This isn't my phone.

267
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,879
I must've taken the wrong one
when I got out of the Uber!

268
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:13,298
I've gotta get to Pemberton's right now.

269
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:16,051
‐ Can we come with?
Can't wait to see the real New York.

270
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:17,219
[gasps] Can we take a subway?

271
00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:19,805
I've always wanted to see
what the subway's like!

272
00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:21,807
So, that's what a subway is like.

273
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:24,726
Does it always smell like that?

274
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,854
‐ No! Sometimes, it's way worse.

275
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:30,148
One time, I was in a car where one guy
was peeing, one guy was pooping,

276
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:32,818
and one guy was dead.
‐ Ah, the subway trifecta.

277
00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:34,069
Hope you made a wish.

278
00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:37,072
[gagging]

279
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,618
CROWD: Surprise!
[Sophie screaming]

280
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:44,371
Sophie! You're not Sid.
Why are you not Sid?

281
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:46,540
‐ Because you gave me his phone
instead of mine

282
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:47,666
when I got out of your car.

283
00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:49,251
‐ Wait, so I've been
tracking you this whole time?

284
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,919
Okay, guys, we do not have eyes on Sid!

285
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:52,504
Everyone, back to your hiding spots.

286
00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:53,714
‐ Okay, what is Sid's ETA?

287
00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:55,549
‐ Literally any second,
so I really need you to hide.

288
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,843
‐ Good, good, 'cause I'm not sure
what time Ian's flight is,

289
00:11:57,843 --> 00:11:59,720
but I've gotta talk to him
before the plane takes off.

290
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,221
‐ For the love of god, hide!

291
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,431
[panicked mumbling]

292
00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:03,932
‐ I freeze under pressure!

293
00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:05,642
This is why I've been hit
by three Citi Bikes!

294
00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:08,270
♪

295
00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:15,402
♪

296
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,279
‐ What are you doing?

297
00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:20,032
‐ Still smelling that train.
It's in my hair.

298
00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:22,743
There's a stranger's body odor
trapped in my hair.

299
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:26,496
‐ Um, hello!
[both gasp]

300
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:28,916
‐ Sorry. Didn't see you there.

301
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:32,377
‐ I know. That's why I said, "Um, hello."
[nervous laugh]

302
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:35,714
I was feeling creepier and creepier
with every second that passed.

303
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:37,966
I'm Ellen.
I just moved here from Iowa.

304
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:38,926
‐ Mm.
‐ Oh,

305
00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:41,595
and I'm Jesse's sister.
Adopted, obviously.

306
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:45,140
‐ I mean, it's not obvious to me.
I have no idea who Jesse is.

307
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:47,518
Have you taken the train yet?
It's an underground freak show.

308
00:12:47,518 --> 00:12:49,811
‐ We get it. You hated the train.

309
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:52,856
‐ So, what brings you to New York?

310
00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:53,857
‐ I'm getting divorced.

311
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:56,151
‐ Oh...
‐ Oh my god, you poor thing.

312
00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:58,779
‐ Little Crescent, Iowa,
has 600 people in it,

313
00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,447
and she was the only other lesbian.

314
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:03,033
We both knew it had run its course,

315
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:06,203
so I moved to New York to start over,
reconnect with my brother...

316
00:13:07,079 --> 00:13:08,455
and ask out Kate McKinnon.

317
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,666
‐ Whoa! Do you know Kate McKinnon?

318
00:13:10,666 --> 00:13:11,917
‐ No.

319
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:13,752
Do you?

320
00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:18,048
‐ Where the hell are they?
‐ Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Look, look.

321
00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:20,717
Sid is my best friend, okay?
And if he were in charge of my proposal‐‐

322
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,761
Purely hypothetical,
I'm never getting married,

323
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,388
but he would make sure
it was perfect, alright?

324
00:13:24,388 --> 00:13:26,515
So, I can't have your peeking
head ruining his big night.

325
00:13:26,515 --> 00:13:29,017
‐ Alright, alright.
[Jesse sighs]

326
00:13:30,352 --> 00:13:31,728
Why are you never getting married?

327
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:34,231
‐ [sighs] Uh, I'm never getting married

328
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:37,276
because the one girl I wanted
to marry broke my heart, okay?

329
00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:39,862
‐ Wait a second.
‐ No.

330
00:13:40,571 --> 00:13:42,781
‐ I know you.
‐ [sighs] And here we go.

331
00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:45,284
You are the guy from the video!
[Jesse sighs]

332
00:13:45,284 --> 00:13:47,411
FUTURE SOPHIE:
The video was an unfortunate incident

333
00:13:47,411 --> 00:13:49,496
that had recently gone viral.

334
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:52,791
‐ Jesse. I'm sorry. I...
CROWD: She's gonna say no. Oh my god.

335
00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:54,710
‐ What a nightmare.
‐ This poor schmuck.

336
00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:57,462
‐ What a loser.
‐ What a disaster.

337
00:13:58,213 --> 00:13:59,673
[thudding, objects clattering]

338
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:02,759
‐ Now, she's in Europe,
recording her first solo album,

339
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:05,971
and I'm known all around
the city as Mr. Proposal Fail.

340
00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:09,057
You know who liked the video
last week on Twitter? Michelle Obama.

341
00:14:10,434 --> 00:14:13,520
‐ How did you forget
the Beyoncé tickets at the bar?

342
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,272
ALL:
Surprise!

343
00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:18,275
‐ [gasping] What's happening?

344
00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:20,277
‐ [sighs] Hannah...

345
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,822
I remember the moment
I fell in love with you.

346
00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:27,743
It was our first year of med school,

347
00:14:27,743 --> 00:14:29,661
and we were dissecting dead bodies,

348
00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:31,163
and, um,

349
00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:33,540
you leaned over,
and you said to me, you said,

350
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,542
"Hey, you know how to get to the stomach?

351
00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:38,045
You take the spleen‐ic route."

352
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:39,505
[laughs]
[scattered laughter]

353
00:14:39,505 --> 00:14:41,298
And I thought, oh...

354
00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:44,968
This is the girl for me.

355
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:46,637
CROWD: Aww...

356
00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:50,390
Hannah, I believe we can make it
through anything together.

357
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:54,645
Even if sometimes,
we take the spleen‐ic route.

358
00:14:54,645 --> 00:14:56,647
[laughs] So...

359
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,900
[inhale, nervous exhale]

360
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,861
Hannah...
[patrons exclaiming]

361
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:06,156
Will you marry me?

362
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,408
‐ Yes!

363
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,661
[cheering, applause]

364
00:15:10,661 --> 00:15:11,703
Yes!

365
00:15:12,246 --> 00:15:13,455
[laughs]

366
00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:15,791
Oh, I can't believe I'm getting engaged

367
00:15:15,791 --> 00:15:17,876
and seeing Beyoncé!

368
00:15:17,876 --> 00:15:19,503
[Valentina shrieks]
‐ Oh...

369
00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:22,130
‐ I can't believe I'm getting engaged!

370
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:25,217
[cheering, applause]

371
00:15:25,217 --> 00:15:28,554
♪ quiet music ♪

372
00:15:28,554 --> 00:15:30,597
‐ Look at that!
A proposal that won't haunt

373
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,182
and traumatize them forever.

374
00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:34,142
Good for him.

375
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:37,396
‐ I love you so much.
‐ I love you more.

376
00:15:37,396 --> 00:15:40,858
‐ And I love hilarious phone mishaps.

377
00:15:40,858 --> 00:15:42,067
[forced laugh]

378
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:45,237
We swapped in the Uber.
Mazel tov, by the way.

379
00:15:45,696 --> 00:15:48,323
‐ Uh, here. It's dead,
which feels very on brand for you.

380
00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:49,825
Um, I'm sorry.

381
00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,368
‐ Mm!

382
00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:54,705
‐ Oh my god.
‐ What?

383
00:15:54,705 --> 00:15:57,541
‐ There were so many men
urinating in there at once.

384
00:15:57,541 --> 00:15:59,543
Just a cacophony of piss.

385
00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:03,881
‐ Wait, now you're
too fancy for stalls?

386
00:16:03,881 --> 00:16:05,883
‐ Darling, I use stalls.

387
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:08,552
That's where we keep the ponies.

388
00:16:09,595 --> 00:16:11,430
Valentina, I think I've made
a terrible mistake.

389
00:16:11,430 --> 00:16:13,515
I don't think I can live
in this hellscape.

390
00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:16,226
‐ This hellscape is my daily life,

391
00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:17,644
you prissy royal bitch.

392
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:19,146
‐ Hey...

393
00:16:21,982 --> 00:16:23,066
[text chimes]
‐ Mm!

394
00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:25,319
‐ Mm?
‐ Mm! One‐‐ one second.

395
00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:26,737
Alright.

396
00:16:27,446 --> 00:16:28,822
Oh my god.

397
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:31,533
A lung just became
available for my patient!

398
00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:32,910
Yes! Oh!

399
00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:34,786
Honey, oh...

400
00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:37,497
Oh, it's all over your shirt.
‐ It's okay.

401
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:41,293
‐ Babe, I am so sorry,
but I have to get back to LA.

402
00:16:42,503 --> 00:16:45,380
‐ Hey, hey. Look, my sister's
hanging out with your friends.

403
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,549
She's kind of a loner, so I
really want her to meet people.

404
00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:49,718
[inaudible]

405
00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:51,929
‐ Yeah. Seems like
they're really hitting it off.

406
00:16:51,929 --> 00:16:54,056
‐ Mm.
‐ Hey,

407
00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:56,141
as soon as my phone powers on,
I'm out of here,

408
00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:58,936
but I wanted to tell you,
you can't give up on love

409
00:16:58,936 --> 00:17:01,647
just because of your proposal fail.
[scoffs]

410
00:17:01,647 --> 00:17:03,899
I know that there is
a Brooklyn Bridge girl

411
00:17:03,899 --> 00:17:05,984
out there for you somewhere.

412
00:17:07,778 --> 00:17:09,780
‐ Am I supposed to know what that is?
Because you look like

413
00:17:09,780 --> 00:17:11,490
you practically moved yourself
to tears just now,

414
00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:13,659
but I have no idea
what you're talking about.

415
00:17:14,409 --> 00:17:16,954
‐ It's this thing I made up.
‐ Okay.

416
00:17:16,954 --> 00:17:19,706
‐ See, I've lived in New York
since college,

417
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:22,084
but I've never walked across
the Brooklyn Bridge,

418
00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:23,961
and after a while,
I waited so long

419
00:17:23,961 --> 00:17:27,172
that I decided I would wait
and walk it with my soulmate.

420
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:31,718
‐ You're one of those people whose parents
actually stayed married, aren't you?

421
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,095
College sweethearts,

422
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:34,680
married for 30 years sort of thing.

423
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,181
So you're like, if they found each other,

424
00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:37,766
there must be someone
out there for everyone.

425
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:39,643
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right?

426
00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:42,229
‐ Yeah. Something like that.
[Jesse sighs]

427
00:17:42,980 --> 00:17:44,439
‐ Must be nice.

428
00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:47,401
Those of us who grew up
in the real world, not so sure.

429
00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:49,945
Looks like your phone's back.
‐ Yes!

430
00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:52,990
Aw.

431
00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:56,118
Ian sent me a pic holding his
boarding pass and looking sad.

432
00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:58,662
‐ Aww.
‐ I'm gonna call him.

433
00:17:58,662 --> 00:17:59,663
[gasps]

434
00:18:00,372 --> 00:18:01,874
Wait, look.

435
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,668
I can see all of his flight info.

436
00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:07,838
‐ Cool. He's got TSA PreCheck.

437
00:18:07,838 --> 00:18:10,090
‐ [sighs] He would!

438
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,426
I've always talked
about getting that.

439
00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:14,094
But it's like a whole thing.
No, not the point.

440
00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:19,141
I'm going to go to JFK
and tell him that we're meant to be.

441
00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:21,935
‐ Really?
‐ Hey, uh, can I borrow your car?

442
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:23,854
I need to take Hannah to the airport.

443
00:18:23,854 --> 00:18:26,356
‐ What?
‐ Emergency surgery calls.

444
00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:29,276
‐ Seems like the universe wants me
to take everyone to the airport.

445
00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:30,944
‐ Alright. Let's go.
‐ Okay. What, are you coming?

446
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,196
‐ I am! Oh!

447
00:18:33,322 --> 00:18:34,698
‐ Wait!

448
00:18:34,698 --> 00:18:36,909
You can't leave me alone with Charlie.
I think I hate him.

449
00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:39,953
‐ We live with him.
‐ I know!

450
00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:44,958
‐ Valentina, don't abandon me!
I have nowhere to go!

451
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:47,252
I'll need to sell my body to survive!

452
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:52,174
‐ Hey, sis!
Uh, we're all going to the airport.

453
00:18:52,925 --> 00:18:54,134
‐ You forgot me, didn't you?

454
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:56,011
‐ What? Who could for‐‐

455
00:18:56,011 --> 00:18:57,429
Yeah. Completely forgot you. I'm sorry.

456
00:18:57,429 --> 00:18:59,973
♪

457
00:19:03,352 --> 00:19:05,646
FUTURE SOPHIE:
And so, we all went to JFK

458
00:19:05,646 --> 00:19:08,815
to tell him that I wanted us
to be together.

459
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,067
♪

460
00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:11,568
‐ There he is.

461
00:19:12,903 --> 00:19:15,572
‐ Oh god, don't let this be
the next Proposal Fail.

462
00:19:15,572 --> 00:19:17,449
[Jesse sighs]
Wait! Aren't you‐‐

463
00:19:17,449 --> 00:19:20,702
‐ It's actually Mr. Proposal Fail,
but yes.

464
00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:22,120
[mouthing]

465
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:22,704
‐ Ian!

466
00:19:23,956 --> 00:19:26,124
‐ Sophie? What are you‐‐

467
00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:28,001
‐ I've been on 87 Tinder dates this year.

468
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,379
Okay, all of them were duds.

469
00:19:30,379 --> 00:19:33,465
Just to be clear, I don't do,
like, sexy stuff with all the guys.

470
00:19:33,465 --> 00:19:36,718
A lot of the times, I just have
a white wine and talk.

471
00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:39,012
I also want to be clear
that I am not judging anyone

472
00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:40,472
who does hook up on every date.

473
00:19:40,472 --> 00:19:42,474
It's just not my style.
But if it's someone else's,

474
00:19:42,474 --> 00:19:44,268
that's her business,
and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

475
00:19:44,268 --> 00:19:46,228
‐ This is getting away from her.

476
00:19:47,271 --> 00:19:49,982
‐ Look, what I'm trying to say is that

477
00:19:49,982 --> 00:19:51,859
we live in confusing times,

478
00:19:51,859 --> 00:19:54,194
where it's really hard to meet someone

479
00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:56,363
and‐and‐and connect and have it feel...

480
00:19:57,698 --> 00:19:58,740
Easy.

481
00:19:59,408 --> 00:20:02,160
And tonight, it felt easy.

482
00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:04,621
Other than the Australia thing,

483
00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:07,332
which feels insurmountably hard,

484
00:20:07,332 --> 00:20:08,667
but we can get through it.

485
00:20:10,169 --> 00:20:11,670
I know that we can.

486
00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:15,174
What do you say?

487
00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:19,970
‐ Sophie, I'd love
to make it work, but...

488
00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:23,348
it's a 14‐hour time difference,

489
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:25,267
and I'm gonna be living

490
00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:27,895
out at sea for weeks
on end without service.

491
00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:31,148
It'd just be way too hard.

492
00:20:31,148 --> 00:20:33,108
‐ Oh, this is brutal.

493
00:20:34,735 --> 00:20:36,695
‐ I'm really sorry, Sophie.

494
00:20:36,695 --> 00:20:39,072
But, maybe someday, right?

495
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:41,700
‐ Yeah. Maybe.

496
00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:44,703
♪

497
00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:55,672
FUTURE SOPHIE: But I didn't
want to wait around for some day.

498
00:21:02,221 --> 00:21:03,972
‐ I'm doing it!

499
00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:07,184
I'm walking the bridge
without the love of my life!

500
00:21:08,143 --> 00:21:10,354
Sounded more triumphant in my head.

501
00:21:10,354 --> 00:21:11,647
‐ You walk that bridge, girl.

502
00:21:12,898 --> 00:21:16,109
That... surprisingly clean and...

503
00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:17,611
actually rather majestic bridge.

504
00:21:17,611 --> 00:21:20,322
‐ You don't have to pretend
to like this for me.

505
00:21:21,657 --> 00:21:23,283
‐ I'm not pretending.

506
00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:25,786
You know,
I‐I really do think it's stunning.

507
00:21:26,912 --> 00:21:29,790
Brimming with...
with life and personality.

508
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:34,795
Like you.

509
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:40,467
‐ Charlie, do you know one of
the reasons I fell so hard for you?

510
00:21:41,009 --> 00:21:44,096
‐ Because my charm is all boy,
but my body is all man?

511
00:21:44,930 --> 00:21:46,682
‐ No.

512
00:21:46,682 --> 00:21:48,642
It's because I thought you were brave.

513
00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:52,604
You've lived this
incredibly pampered life,

514
00:21:52,604 --> 00:21:54,314
but you walked away from it all.

515
00:21:55,190 --> 00:21:57,359
To take a chance on us.

516
00:21:59,069 --> 00:22:00,863
Charlie...

517
00:22:00,863 --> 00:22:02,906
this city is magic!

518
00:22:02,906 --> 00:22:04,199
♪

519
00:22:04,199 --> 00:22:05,826
And so am I.

520
00:22:08,579 --> 00:22:11,623
Do you wanna be a part
of that magic or not?

521
00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:14,710
‐ I do.

522
00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:17,004
Very, very much.

523
00:22:23,177 --> 00:22:26,555
‐ If Sophie can walk across
this bridge totally alone

524
00:22:26,555 --> 00:22:28,098
and Sid can have

525
00:22:28,098 --> 00:22:31,018
a good attitude about
his fiancée ditching him,

526
00:22:31,018 --> 00:22:33,854
and you two can try to make your...

527
00:22:33,854 --> 00:22:35,522
completely doomed relationship work...

528
00:22:35,522 --> 00:22:36,523
‐ Hey!
JESSE: Ellen!

529
00:22:36,982 --> 00:22:40,194
‐ ...then I can stop obsessing
over my divorce

530
00:22:40,194 --> 00:22:42,196
and ask a woman out to divorce!

531
00:22:43,030 --> 00:22:45,199
To divorce. To dinner! Dammit!

532
00:22:45,199 --> 00:22:46,742
‐ You'll get there.

533
00:22:46,742 --> 00:22:49,328
♪

534
00:22:50,329 --> 00:22:52,706
‐ This is good for Soph.
She needed this.

535
00:22:52,706 --> 00:22:56,043
‐ What? She's gonna be fine.
She's got her parents' magic love story

536
00:22:56,043 --> 00:22:58,170
to keep her stupidly optimistic.

537
00:22:58,170 --> 00:22:59,880
‐ Magic love story?
‐ Yeah.

538
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:02,382
‐ Sophie's mom is a party girl

539
00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:04,760
who bounces around
from boyfriend to boyfriend.

540
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,970
Her dad wasn't even in the picture.

541
00:23:06,970 --> 00:23:09,139
The only thing
magical about Sophie's life

542
00:23:09,139 --> 00:23:11,141
is that she still believes in love at all.

543
00:23:13,477 --> 00:23:15,896
‐ How have I never walked
this bridge before?

544
00:23:15,896 --> 00:23:17,397
VALENTINA: I told you!
[cheering]

545
00:23:18,106 --> 00:23:20,234
‐ Whoo!
‐ Now, we're talking!

546
00:23:20,234 --> 00:23:22,903
Listen, what are we gonna do for dinner?
Because it's late...

547
00:23:22,903 --> 00:23:25,364
[overlapping chatter]

548
00:23:25,364 --> 00:23:27,658
‐ Thanks for having us
over for drinks, guys!

549
00:23:27,658 --> 00:23:28,992
‐ Yeah, of course. I mean,

550
00:23:28,992 --> 00:23:31,495
hot engagement sex,

551
00:23:31,495 --> 00:23:33,664
drinks with total strangers...
[keys rattling]

552
00:23:34,331 --> 00:23:35,874
Two equally good things.

553
00:23:38,502 --> 00:23:40,921
‐ Wow. Love your place!

554
00:23:40,921 --> 00:23:42,589
‐ Thanks. It was a total score.

555
00:23:42,589 --> 00:23:44,550
We got it from
this old married couple

556
00:23:44,550 --> 00:23:46,844
who posted it
on the Wesleyan Alumni Group.

557
00:23:46,844 --> 00:23:48,428
We even got them
to leave their swords.

558
00:23:48,428 --> 00:23:50,597
‐ Wow. Nice touch. [laughs]

559
00:23:50,597 --> 00:23:52,808
[quiet chatter]

560
00:23:52,808 --> 00:23:54,059
FUTURE SOPHIE:
So, that's it.

561
00:23:54,059 --> 00:23:55,561
That's the night I met your father.

562
00:23:56,603 --> 00:24:00,065
♪ Sooner Or Later by The Grass Roots ♪

563
00:24:00,065 --> 00:24:03,110
[inaudible]

564
00:24:03,110 --> 00:24:04,945
SOPHIE'S SON:
But you guys didn't even get together.

565
00:24:04,945 --> 00:24:06,530
‐ Get together? Oh!

566
00:24:06,530 --> 00:24:08,156
That's a much longer story.

567
00:24:08,156 --> 00:24:09,658
Now, where was I?

568
00:24:10,534 --> 00:24:12,411
Where'd I put that bottle of wine?

569
00:24:12,411 --> 00:24:15,330
♪ Sooner or later,
love is gonna get you ♪

570
00:24:15,330 --> 00:24:19,209
♪ Sooner or later, girl,
you've got to give in ♪

571
00:24:19,209 --> 00:24:23,005
♪ Sooner or later,
love is gonna let you ♪

572
00:24:23,005 --> 00:24:26,550
♪ Sooner or later,
love is gonna win ♪

573
00:24:27,301 --> 00:24:29,178
♪ It's just a matter of time ♪

574
00:24:29,178 --> 00:24:31,847
♪ Before you make up your mind ♪

575
00:24:31,847 --> 00:24:34,391
♪ To give all that love
that you've been hiding ♪

576
00:24:34,933 --> 00:24:36,935
♪ It's just a question of when ♪

577
00:24:36,935 --> 00:24:39,188
♪ I've told you time and again ♪

578
00:24:39,188 --> 00:24:42,024
♪ I get all the love you've been denying ♪

579
00:24:42,024 --> 00:24:45,569
♪ Sooner or later,
love is gonna get you... ♪