1 00:00:02,461 --> 00:00:05,005 ♪ upbeat theme playing ♪ 2 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:08,926 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba ♪ 3 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,638 ♪ Ba-ba, da-da-da-da-da-da da-da-da ♪ 4 00:00:15,057 --> 00:00:17,226 ♪ morning show theme ♪ 5 00:00:17,226 --> 00:00:19,645 I can see there's music 6 00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:21,480 and love in the air. [Jesse laughs] 7 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,357 How's the tour going? 8 00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:25,776 - [sputters] - Uh, well, um, let's see. 9 00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:28,070 - I'm back with my man. - Me! 10 00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:29,363 [Meredith laughs] 11 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:32,698 And tomorrow night, we play a sold-out show on Long Island. 12 00:00:32,698 --> 00:00:35,702 So, I'd say it's going pretty good. 13 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,580 [forced laugh] Uh, you think? 14 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,207 Aren't they adorable? 15 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,668 You can catch them tomorrow night in Massapequa. 16 00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:44,169 You can catch me, 17 00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:46,421 Sandy Rivers, on the entertainment beat. 18 00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:49,925 Demoted because of some unproven accusations, 19 00:00:49,925 --> 00:00:53,095 which, even if true, would be perfectly legal in the states 20 00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:56,390 in which the alleged incidents took place. 21 00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:00,269 That's my brother. 22 00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:01,937 That's my brother in there! 23 00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:05,357 Can you believe I was in his first band, Sunny D and the Crazy Straw? 24 00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:07,192 And guess who the Crazy Straw was? 25 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:09,361 Me! I was the straw. 26 00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:11,655 Ellen, I know that you're excited, but what we just watched 27 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:13,448 was very painful for someone in this room. 28 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:16,034 Oh, thanks, but I'm fine. I've moved on. 29 00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:18,787 What? No. We all know that you can toggle breezily through gentlemen. 30 00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:19,830 I meant Sid. 31 00:01:20,873 --> 00:01:23,876 I'm fine, too! Jesse and I are fighting, but we'll get through it. 32 00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:27,504 We're like boyzzz. That's "boys" with three Z's. 33 00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:29,214 If it was two Z's, I'd be worried. 34 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:31,216 - [phone buzzing] - Uh, Soph? 35 00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:32,843 Why is my mom texting you? 36 00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,720 Oh, because we're visiting your parents tomorrow 37 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:35,888 before Jesse's show. 38 00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:37,890 What? How do I not know this? 39 00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:39,850 'Cause you're not on the group chat. 40 00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:42,269 It's called "Text Appeal." Your dad made it up. 41 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,647 He could legit do stand-up! 42 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,108 I was crazy about Val's parents. 43 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,695 They were sweet, funny, madly in love, and hot. 44 00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:53,739 Oh, really, really hot. 45 00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:57,284 They went from King and Queen of Massapequa High 46 00:01:57,284 --> 00:02:00,829 to King and Queen of Long Island Real Estate. 47 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:03,832 But it wasn't so easy being their daughter. 48 00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:06,668 They found love quickly, 49 00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:08,545 and they wanted Val to do the same. 50 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:11,423 So they tried to find it for her. 51 00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:12,591 Over... 52 00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:14,885 ♪ 53 00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:16,178 ...and over... 54 00:02:16,178 --> 00:02:18,347 ♪ 55 00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:19,515 ...and over. 56 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:24,478 No setups this time, they promised. But we should get home 57 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:27,105 because I wanna exfoliate before I see your parents tomorrow. 58 00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,566 One time, they were like, "Sophie, you're glowing." 59 00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:30,984 And I want that to happen again. 60 00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:33,654 Yeah, we should get going, too. 61 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,447 Stay strong, Sid. 62 00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,699 Mwah! You'll get through this. 63 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:40,494 I'll never turn down a head kiss, but I am fine. 64 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:41,995 Enjoy the concert. 65 00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:48,669 Okay! Alone. 66 00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:50,420 No big deal. 67 00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:53,298 Is it weird that I'm talking to myself? 68 00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:55,008 [thinking]: Boom! 69 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,844 Now, I'm being normal. 70 00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,555 Yeah, I'm being normal as hell right now. 71 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,598 [demonic voice]: Are you? 72 00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,600 [normal voice]: Nah, j-just messing with you, bro. 73 00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:07,145 ♪ 74 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:10,274 This is so cool! 75 00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:12,484 I've never been in a green room before. 76 00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:15,112 Where do you think they came up with the term "green room"? 77 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,364 I mean, I don't see anything... Hey! 78 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,241 You're in a conversation. Act like it. 79 00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:20,492 Sorry. 80 00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,494 I have devised a brilliant plan 81 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:25,038 to reunite Sid and Jesse and save their friendship. 82 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,541 The last time you devised a brilliant plan, you killed our fish. 83 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:30,043 - Herman died for science! - You tickling him is not science! 84 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,461 We know that now! 85 00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,463 Ch-- Charlie. It's worth asking. 86 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,465 Are you a little less smart than you think you are? 87 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,260 It's okay! I'm dumber than I think, too! 88 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:39,928 Hey! Hey, hey! You made it. How cool is this? 89 00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,388 Um, so cool. 90 00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,432 Oh, hey, you see this giant wine glass full of Sun Chips? 91 00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:46,101 Those are for me. I requested them. 92 00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:48,645 Not the wine glass. That was all Larry, our catering guy. 93 00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:51,315 He, uh, is all about whimsy. Loves an unconventional vessel. 94 00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:53,692 Oh, you're right. Look at that fedora full of chicken fingers. 95 00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,444 - Exactly. - Hi. 96 00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:57,154 - Hey! - Hi. 97 00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:59,281 One more post for social media. Sorry. 98 00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:01,116 Promise, this is the last one of the day. 99 00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:02,242 No. 100 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:05,787 I'm sorry. I promise this is one of the last ones of the day? 101 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,039 No. 102 00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:08,290 Sorry. 103 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,293 Be right back. Don't judge. [laughs] 104 00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:12,419 Judge what? 105 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,671 Candid kiss, take one. 106 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:21,553 - Oh, my God! Get that thing outta here! - Whoa! 107 00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:24,932 Whoa! Just let us be us. Artists and songwriters. 108 00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:27,476 - Got it. - Thanks, babe. 109 00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:29,478 Yikes. 110 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,105 [clattering] 111 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,651 Wow. Larry! 112 00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:38,070 You whimsical bitch. 113 00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:40,614 ♪ 114 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,699 JUAN: No one could sell that house. 115 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:45,786 But, when the Polinskys heard us talking about a mystery bidder, 116 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,746 they gave us 20 over asking. 117 00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,540 Oh! Who's the mystery bidder? 118 00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:53,043 There wasn't one. They lied, because they're liars. 119 00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:56,213 You call it a lie. I call it a truth zhuzh. 120 00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:57,756 I'd like to zhuzh you right now. 121 00:04:57,756 --> 00:04:58,757 [giggles] 122 00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:02,928 - Stop it. - Oh, you guys are so bad! 123 00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:06,014 It's true. We're bad. Th-that's true about us. 124 00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:07,766 [doorbell rings] 125 00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,351 Who's that? 126 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:11,144 You're setting me up! I hate you! 127 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,647 - We're not setting you up. - We're setting Sophie up. 128 00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:16,733 - What?! - Wha... 129 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,736 - Wait till Oscar sees you. - You are glowing. 130 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:22,739 Oh, my God. I didn't even, like, do anything. 131 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,533 ♪ 132 00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:28,745 ♪ 133 00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:31,373 Rank your top 10 worst meals you've ever had. 134 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,334 Sid, I have to assist a surgery this afternoon, 135 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,171 and if I don't get a little more sleep, I might Dr. Death someone. 136 00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:39,006 Yeah, that sounds so stressful. 137 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,507 What are some of the mistakes you might make? 138 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:41,550 Just give me a quick top five. 139 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:44,052 Oh, my God, you can be alone for one day, alright? 140 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:46,430 I believe in you. I love you. Mwah! 141 00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:47,806 [scoffs] 142 00:05:50,726 --> 00:05:51,935 [sighs] 143 00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:54,104 SID [thinking]: Okay. One day alone. 144 00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:57,649 Or maybe tons now that Jesse's famous and hates you. 145 00:05:58,442 --> 00:06:00,527 Relax. You are fine. 146 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:01,778 [sighs] You don't need Jesse. 147 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,197 [knocking] Jesse?! 148 00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:10,913 - Cookies. - That's what I think they are, too. 149 00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:15,709 "I'm sorry for everything, please come to my show, J." 150 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,670 Did the guy who ordered this sound British? 151 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,047 Yeah. Upper crust, for sure. 152 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:20,714 Huh? 153 00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:22,758 I'm on season four of The Crown. 154 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:23,884 Right. 155 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,803 You see, my friend is upset that I'm in a little fight 156 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,430 with my other friend, but it's gonna be okay. 157 00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:30,015 He just needs some time. 158 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,600 - Okay... - The point is, like, 159 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,101 - I'm not lonely. - Okay. 160 00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,478 ♪ 161 00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:37,356 So you own an escrow company? 162 00:06:37,356 --> 00:06:38,815 I love escrow. 163 00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:42,402 I'll give you $1 million if you could tell me what it is. 164 00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:44,947 Escrow is... 165 00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:47,908 Siri, what's escrow? 166 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,536 OSCAR: Hey, I can hear you! SOPHIE: No, you can't! 167 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:55,332 So, what made you wanna set Oscar up with Sophie? 168 00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:57,668 Oh, he's just really, really special, 169 00:06:57,668 --> 00:06:59,253 and we didn't want him to go to waste. 170 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,922 And setting him up with me would have been a waste? 171 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:04,383 You told us that you didn't want us setting you up anymore. 172 00:07:04,383 --> 00:07:05,968 What, so we're listening to me now? 173 00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:08,512 We've accepted that you're not the relationship type. 174 00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:12,516 I mean, you're 30, and you've only had one serious boyfriend. 175 00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:14,184 If that. 176 00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:15,602 Wait, what? 177 00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:19,565 We have questions about this "Charlie." 178 00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:24,111 An "aristocrat" who "left his life in London" for you? 179 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,780 Oh, my God! Do you guys not think he's real? 180 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,323 Course we think he's "real." 181 00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:30,701 I showed you a picture of him. 182 00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:34,079 You showed us a picture of... a person. 183 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,331 [scoffs] 184 00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,084 [both laugh] 185 00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:40,878 [Spanish accent]: Oscar... 186 00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:42,004 Oye. 187 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,381 ¿Quieres ver mi cuarto? 188 00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:47,259 I'm sorry, Val. Do you care to repeat 189 00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:50,512 that sexy-sounding phrase just a little more slowly? 190 00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:52,639 Siri, translate this. 191 00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:55,976 - Hey. - Hey. 192 00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,479 So, we've commissioned some new visuals 193 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,981 for when you perform Jay Street. 194 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,232 [clears throat] Okay. 195 00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:06,236 MEREDITH [singing]: ♪ I should have gotten off the train at Jay Street ♪ 196 00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,863 ♪ 'Cause I wanna be... ♪ 197 00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:09,823 W-where did you get this stuff? 198 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,201 From me. Look how cute we are. 199 00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:14,328 ♪ ...I can hear your heartbeat ♪ 200 00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:16,038 ♪ Then I realize ♪ 201 00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:19,333 ♪ I'm just missing Jay Street ♪ 202 00:08:21,043 --> 00:08:23,629 Wow! A-a-and that's in there, too, huh? 203 00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:25,088 Good to go? 204 00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,965 - Actually-- - Oh, we love it-- 205 00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,967 Oh, I'm sorry, Jesse, did you have a quick thought? 206 00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:32,846 No. Uh, no. Forget it. 207 00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:35,224 Thanks. 208 00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:42,397 - This is bad. - Indeed. 209 00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,150 But on the bright side, my plan has entered phase three. 210 00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:47,402 I need some hat chicken. 211 00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:52,533 And hip, hip, hip, 212 00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:55,494 hip... pow. 213 00:08:56,954 --> 00:08:59,748 Well, Val, very cool of you to show us 214 00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:01,291 that new dance move you just came up with. 215 00:09:02,835 --> 00:09:04,294 Can we talk for a second? 216 00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:05,504 What are you doing? 217 00:09:05,504 --> 00:09:09,049 We don't hit on each other's dates! It's in the Ride or Die handbook. 218 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,884 First off, there's no actual handbook. 219 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,095 Uh, there will be as soon as I get a ride to Kinkos. 220 00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:15,180 And this doesn't count. 221 00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:17,266 He's only your date because of my insane parents. 222 00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:19,935 Your parents aren't insane! They're amazing! 223 00:09:19,935 --> 00:09:21,728 You are lucky to have parents 224 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,397 that even care about who you date. 225 00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:25,607 The closest my mom ever came to setting me up 226 00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:28,318 was when she taped her weed to my thigh on the way to LaGuardia. 227 00:09:28,694 --> 00:09:31,989 If you love them so much, why don't you just ask them to adopt you? 228 00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:34,408 I have looked into it, and I'm too old. 229 00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:36,577 [sighs] 230 00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:40,163 Look, I'm sorry, but I have to prove to my parents 231 00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,665 that I'm good enough for Oscar. 232 00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:45,460 So you're gonna steal the first guy that I felt a spark with since Jesse? 233 00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:48,046 Yeah. That's what I'm gonna do. 234 00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:51,633 ♪ 235 00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,555 ♪ 236 00:09:56,555 --> 00:09:58,348 So, that Jay Street video... 237 00:09:58,348 --> 00:09:59,558 [Jesse scoffs] 238 00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:02,311 I could have sworn I saw the most painful moment 239 00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:04,563 in your life in there. Are we loving that? 240 00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:06,023 No, we're not. 241 00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:07,149 Did you tell Meredith? 242 00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:09,526 I-I-I can't. 243 00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:10,777 She's got enough on her plate, 244 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,030 and I don't wanna bother her with my... stuff. 245 00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:14,865 A-and by stuff, you mean your feelings? 246 00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:16,533 Yes. 247 00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:19,494 Hey, remember that band we had when we were little? 248 00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,288 Sunny D and the Crazy Straw? 249 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,665 Yeah. How could I forget? Nobody harmonized like you did. 250 00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:24,499 I know. 251 00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:26,627 BOTH [harmonizing]: Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh ♪ 252 00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:28,962 - Hoo. Still got it. Mm-hmm. - Still got it. [laughs] 253 00:10:29,505 --> 00:10:31,423 You know what my favorite song you wrote was? 254 00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:32,925 Jesse's A Boy's Name, Too? 255 00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:35,219 Mega Amazing Lady. 256 00:10:35,928 --> 00:10:36,970 I don't remember that one. 257 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,931 You wrote it when you had that crazy crush 258 00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:40,766 on Molly Marcus. Uh... 259 00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,769 ♪ You make my life a silly dance ♪ 260 00:10:43,769 --> 00:10:46,063 ♪ You make me fine with wearing pants ♪ 261 00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,856 ♪ I'll marry you in Paris, France ♪ 262 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,566 ♪ A mega amazing lady ♪ 263 00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:50,943 - That song was about Mom. - Ew! 264 00:10:50,943 --> 00:10:52,819 - Yeah. - Not Molly Marcus? 265 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:55,614 No, that was just a straight-up love song 266 00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:56,907 about marrying our mother in Paris. 267 00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:58,659 - Why Paris? - She loves Paris. 268 00:10:58,659 --> 00:11:01,161 - Okay, pushing past that. - Yes. 269 00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:06,708 You deserve someone who makes your life a silly dance. 270 00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:10,629 And maybe Meredith's that person, 271 00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:12,381 or maybe she's not. 272 00:11:12,381 --> 00:11:14,049 But, the only way to know for sure 273 00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:17,010 is to tell her how you feel and see what she does. 274 00:11:20,389 --> 00:11:21,849 Yeah, you're right. [sighs] 275 00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:23,350 ♪ 276 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:26,603 So, I hear you're the man who can get me a house. 277 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,689 Oh. Are you looking to buy? [Valentina laughs] 278 00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:30,941 No, I'm broke. I'm looking to squat. 279 00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:32,568 I'm good at it. Wanna see? 280 00:11:34,111 --> 00:11:36,071 [Sophie clears throat] 281 00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:37,906 Oh, sorry. We, uh, 282 00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:40,659 just sold a three-plus-two in Great Neck, so we're making out. 283 00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:43,203 Oh, yeah, I get it. I don't know what a three-plus-two is, 284 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,580 but I'd make out with either one of you. 285 00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:46,081 - We know. - You made that clear. 286 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:49,793 Wait. Why aren't you with Oscar? 287 00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:53,255 [scoffs] Because of little miss "Hips, Hips, Hips, Pow"! 288 00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:57,009 She doesn't even like him. She just doesn't like that he likes me. 289 00:11:58,135 --> 00:12:00,304 You know what? This is not Val's decision. 290 00:12:00,304 --> 00:12:01,930 This is Sophie's choice. 291 00:12:04,308 --> 00:12:06,310 - I don't think she knows the reference. - No. 292 00:12:07,186 --> 00:12:09,438 You can't just take whatever you want from me! 293 00:12:09,438 --> 00:12:12,107 You know, I can't believe I ever thought that you were my "ride or die." 294 00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:15,194 [mocking]: "I can't believe I ever thought that you were my ride or die!" 295 00:12:15,194 --> 00:12:17,112 That's it. You know, I'm done. 296 00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:18,947 If this is the kind of friend that you are, 297 00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:20,240 then get outta my life! 298 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,327 Bitch, you don't have a life. How can I get out of it? 299 00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:24,494 - Girls, please-- - That's it. 300 00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:26,872 You know what? You have two weeks to get out of my apartment. 301 00:12:26,872 --> 00:12:29,458 Screw ride or die. I choose die! 302 00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:30,667 [Sophie grunts] 303 00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:32,544 - Okay! Okay! Everyone, stop! Stop! - Stop. 304 00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:34,004 RAQUEL: Alright. 305 00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:35,714 This is all our fault. 306 00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:37,758 W-we set Oscar up with Sophie 307 00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:40,636 because we knew you would get jealous and want him for yourself. 308 00:12:40,636 --> 00:12:42,429 But we never meant to destroy your friendship. 309 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,765 [scoffs] Don't worry. 310 00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:46,808 You didn't. We were acting. 311 00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:49,603 And our performances were... 312 00:12:50,145 --> 00:12:53,232 I-I thought we were gonna say "Oscar-worthy" at the same time. 313 00:12:53,232 --> 00:12:55,859 I know, but you tagged me pretty good here. 314 00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:56,985 Oh, my God, Sophie! 315 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,321 - I'm so sorry! - Hold on. What's happening? 316 00:12:59,321 --> 00:13:01,031 SOPHIE'S SON [on phone]: Yeah, what is happening? 317 00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:04,326 I told you about our talk in Val's bedroom, 318 00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:06,620 but I didn't tell you about all of it. 319 00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:08,580 I'm playing with structure here. 320 00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:10,749 Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. 321 00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:13,794 [scoffs] 322 00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:19,299 I don't know what I'm saying. 323 00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:23,011 I would never choose a guy over you. 324 00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:23,762 [gasps] 325 00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:26,598 God, my parents just know how to get under my skin, and-- 326 00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:30,060 Oh, my God! 327 00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,813 They're doing me like they did the Polinskys! 328 00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:34,731 They knew I wouldn't go for Oscar, 329 00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:37,150 so they created a competitive situation! 330 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,485 [gasps] 331 00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:39,903 Those beautiful bastards. 332 00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:40,988 [angry growl] 333 00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:43,532 So, you faked a fight to get back at us? 334 00:13:43,532 --> 00:13:45,993 Hell yeah, we did. You can't just mess with us that way. 335 00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,327 Uh-- 336 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:50,289 Oh, Oscar, I am so sorry. You must be so confused. 337 00:13:50,289 --> 00:13:51,999 Not really. 338 00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:55,460 And then I'll say, "Screw ride or die! I choose die!" 339 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,546 A-and then, you should punch her in the stomach. 340 00:13:57,546 --> 00:13:59,339 - Yes! - Yeah. 341 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,967 - But not really, though, right? - We'll figure it out. 342 00:14:02,968 --> 00:14:04,386 Et tu, Oscar? 343 00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:06,388 After all the escrows we've given you. 344 00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:09,391 I'm sorry, guys. Congrats on Great Neck, by the way. 345 00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:12,436 That was fun. [laughs] 346 00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:15,355 Weird, but fun. I'll call you? 347 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,941 Awesome. You mean text me, right? 348 00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:19,109 Yeah. I'm not one of those. 349 00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:21,195 Oh! [laughs] Thank God. 350 00:14:21,195 --> 00:14:23,322 - Okay. Bye. - Bye. 351 00:14:23,322 --> 00:14:25,616 ♪ 352 00:14:26,325 --> 00:14:28,285 Hey! It's me, Jesse. 353 00:14:28,285 --> 00:14:31,914 - From the relationship! - Oh, Jesse! I've heard of you. What's up? 354 00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:34,625 [clears throat] Uh, it-it's about that video. 355 00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:38,420 Um, is there any way that we could maybe not play it during the show? 356 00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:41,590 It's just there's real stuff in there. Stuff that was... 357 00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:42,841 hard for me to live through. 358 00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:45,511 I know, it's real. That's what makes it resonate with my fans. 359 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:49,389 Okay, uh, I know, b-but look, um... 360 00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:52,935 [whistles] Hey. [laughs] 361 00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:55,646 I've put up with the weird interviews and the posed kisses, 362 00:14:55,646 --> 00:14:58,023 a-and I put up with Trina dropping hints 363 00:14:58,023 --> 00:15:01,235 that I'm "too tall," which, I mean, what am I supposed to do, get surgery? 364 00:15:01,235 --> 00:15:04,071 And who's gonna pay for that? You know what? That's not the point. 365 00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:06,573 If you wanna keep the rest, that's fine. Just not the proposal. 366 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,575 I-I-I don't want the most painful moment of my life 367 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,661 to be publicized. Again. 368 00:15:10,661 --> 00:15:12,704 Jesse... 369 00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:14,706 Jay Street is my biggest song. 370 00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:15,541 Right. 371 00:15:15,541 --> 00:15:19,044 And the proposal is what makes it work. 372 00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:23,173 It's gotta stay. You'll get used to it. 373 00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:26,593 Just like I got used to these magnetic eyelashes. 374 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,513 They gave you temporary blindness. 375 00:15:29,513 --> 00:15:31,390 Exactly. 376 00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:32,724 Temporary. 377 00:15:40,566 --> 00:15:41,900 I feel terrible. 378 00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:44,194 We should never have used you like that, Sophie. 379 00:15:44,194 --> 00:15:46,071 Oh, thanks. 380 00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:48,365 But, I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. 381 00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:49,366 Oh, you're right. 382 00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:51,660 I'm sorry I led you down that path, my love. 383 00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:54,454 No! I meant Val! 384 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,331 [laughs] Apologize to Val! 385 00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:57,624 We were just trying to help her. 386 00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:00,127 I mean, she's so lonely, she's making up boyfriends. 387 00:16:00,586 --> 00:16:03,881 They think I made up "Charlie." Now I'm doing it. 388 00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:06,884 What? Guys! 389 00:16:06,884 --> 00:16:08,135 [scoffs] 390 00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:11,430 Listen, we all want to meet the love of our life at 16, 391 00:16:11,430 --> 00:16:14,683 but the world is just not that simple anymore. 392 00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:16,643 She's right. Life is hard. 393 00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,645 Which is why we hate that you have to do it on your own. 394 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:21,273 I mean, your mother and I have had each other our entire lives. 395 00:16:21,273 --> 00:16:24,443 We've shared the same outgoing message since the '80s. 396 00:16:24,443 --> 00:16:25,652 Guys! 397 00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:28,572 Look, don't get me wrong. What you two have is awesome. 398 00:16:28,572 --> 00:16:30,908 And maybe one day, I'll find that, too. 399 00:16:30,908 --> 00:16:34,328 Maybe I already found it, and I have to find my way back to it. 400 00:16:34,328 --> 00:16:38,123 But, either way, for now, I'm good. 401 00:16:38,749 --> 00:16:40,751 - Okay. Mm. - She's so strong. 402 00:16:40,751 --> 00:16:43,795 Look, if it makes you two dorks feel better, I'm not alone. 403 00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,923 Oh, yeah? She hooks up all the time. 404 00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:48,717 The other day, she took down a literal giant. 405 00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:51,678 Oh. Oh, you mean me? 406 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,555 [Valentina grunts] Aw! 407 00:16:54,973 --> 00:16:58,268 Like a-a New York Giant or an actual giant? 408 00:16:58,268 --> 00:17:00,270 Whatever helps you sleep, my love. 409 00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:02,981 [indistinct chatter] 410 00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:04,983 - Have you seen Jesse? - Uh, no, 411 00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:08,654 but I imagine he's probably backstage reuniting with Sid. 412 00:17:08,654 --> 00:17:09,988 Charles, God knows I love you, 413 00:17:09,988 --> 00:17:11,615 but I don't think your little plan's gonna do it. 414 00:17:11,615 --> 00:17:14,284 Hm. You think me such a fool. 415 00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:16,453 Sweet, naive Eleanor. 416 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:17,913 Not Eleanor. Just Ellen. 417 00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:19,998 - Is it really? How drab. - Mm-hmm. 418 00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:24,795 Okay, so first, I sent Sid cookies from Jesse. 419 00:17:25,337 --> 00:17:27,297 And what, my dear girl, 420 00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:30,133 does one tend to consume with cookies? 421 00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:32,761 ELLEN: Milk? CHARLIE: Precisely. 422 00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:35,681 But the target struggles to digest dairy products. 423 00:17:35,681 --> 00:17:38,475 So he heads straight to the bathroom for his Lactaid pills. 424 00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:40,269 The only problem? 425 00:17:40,269 --> 00:17:44,189 I took them to lead him on to the next phase of my trap. 426 00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:46,525 I also took his vape pen. 427 00:17:46,525 --> 00:17:48,861 Was not part of the plan. It's just a nasty habit. 428 00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:51,363 Sid's desire for more Lactaid 429 00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:53,824 leads him to the bodega downstairs. 430 00:17:53,824 --> 00:17:56,493 While in line, he sees a vibrant male friendship 431 00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:58,120 played by Trevor and Amit, 432 00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:01,290 my friends from abs class who agreed to perform solely for the attention. 433 00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:05,502 Their depiction of male revelry will make Sid ache for his Jesse, 434 00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:08,672 and send him straight here to Massapequa. 435 00:18:09,423 --> 00:18:10,632 You're sharper than I thought! 436 00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:14,511 Indeed, my dear Eleanor. Sorry. Just Ellen. Yeah, again, sharp. 437 00:18:15,554 --> 00:18:18,056 And look who's here right on time... 438 00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:19,141 Oh, it's you two. 439 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,810 [crowd cheering] 440 00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:25,230 MEREDITH [over speaker]: Hello, Long Island! 441 00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:28,901 - Jesse looks great! - Yeah! 442 00:18:28,901 --> 00:18:31,570 Wait. Is that Jesse? 443 00:18:32,696 --> 00:18:36,366 MEREDITH: Guys, I'm gonna need all your love tonight. 444 00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:37,743 My man walked out on me. 445 00:18:37,743 --> 00:18:40,829 [crowd gasps, boos] 446 00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:42,039 Woo! 447 00:18:42,039 --> 00:18:45,042 ♪ muffled music ♪ 448 00:18:49,004 --> 00:18:52,633 [cell phone ringtone] 449 00:18:52,633 --> 00:18:53,884 Sid? 450 00:18:55,219 --> 00:18:59,181 2020s Bro-speak is a lost dialect. 451 00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:01,308 So, I will translate 452 00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:03,435 the following conversation for you. 453 00:19:03,435 --> 00:19:05,812 ♪ muffled singing ♪ 454 00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:07,064 Bro. 455 00:19:14,071 --> 00:19:15,322 Man. 456 00:19:22,538 --> 00:19:24,039 Ah, dude... 457 00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:44,101 [laughs] 458 00:19:47,271 --> 00:19:49,398 Well, well, well. 459 00:19:49,398 --> 00:19:51,733 Look who's reunited. 460 00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:54,111 You are welcome. 461 00:19:54,111 --> 00:19:55,445 For what? 462 00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:57,698 For restoring your friendship. 463 00:19:58,115 --> 00:20:00,742 A cookie basket, a Lactaid thief, 464 00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:02,244 two bros in a bodega. 465 00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:04,955 I led Sid here every step of the way. 466 00:20:04,955 --> 00:20:06,915 I have no idea what you're talking about. 467 00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:10,335 I did have a cookie 'cause I was bummed out. 468 00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:13,088 I tasted walnuts, but I'm allergic to walnuts. 469 00:20:13,088 --> 00:20:15,966 So I went looking for my EpiPen, but it wasn't there. 470 00:20:15,966 --> 00:20:19,011 And as I lay there, hoping the EMTs would arrive 471 00:20:19,011 --> 00:20:21,305 before I die of anaphylactic shock, 472 00:20:21,305 --> 00:20:23,223 I realized how dumb it would have been to die 473 00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:25,350 without ever seeing my best friend on tour. 474 00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:27,227 Did, um... 475 00:20:28,437 --> 00:20:29,897 Did the EMTs... 476 00:20:30,981 --> 00:20:33,817 D-did I die this afternoon? Is that your question? 477 00:20:35,152 --> 00:20:36,361 No, dude, I did not! 478 00:20:36,361 --> 00:20:38,030 EMTs arrived in time, 479 00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:39,907 and as soon as my throat opened up, 480 00:20:39,907 --> 00:20:41,742 I-I got in a car, and I came right here. 481 00:20:42,826 --> 00:20:44,703 Still don't know what happened to my EpiPen, though. 482 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:51,752 CHARLIE: I thought it was a vape. 483 00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:53,921 There we go. 484 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:58,926 - I'm a monster. - No! No, you're not. You're... 485 00:20:58,926 --> 00:21:01,345 You're just bad at identifying objects. 486 00:21:01,345 --> 00:21:04,139 I should call Trevor and Amit and tell them to stand down. 487 00:21:04,139 --> 00:21:06,058 It's been hours. I'm sure they left. 488 00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:07,935 Did the guy come? 489 00:21:07,935 --> 00:21:10,354 No idea, bro. Hey. 490 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,650 - How am I looking? - Good. Me? 491 00:21:14,650 --> 00:21:15,943 [scoffs] Good, bro. Nice and tight. 492 00:21:15,943 --> 00:21:17,653 - [both laugh] - Friendship's awesome. 493 00:21:17,653 --> 00:21:18,695 Hell yeah, it is. 494 00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:20,072 [friendly grunting] 495 00:21:20,864 --> 00:21:24,868 ♪ I should've gotten off the train at Jay Street ♪ 496 00:21:24,868 --> 00:21:28,789 ♪ 'Cause I wanna be where the tracks and the pavement meet ♪ 497 00:21:28,789 --> 00:21:33,126 ♪ Sometimes I still think I can hear your heartbeat ♪ 498 00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:34,878 ♪ Then I realize ♪ 499 00:21:34,878 --> 00:21:40,843 ♪ I'm just missing Jay Street ♪ 500 00:21:41,802 --> 00:21:45,055 ♪ Jay Street ♪ 501 00:21:47,349 --> 00:21:50,894 ♪ Ooh, Jay Street... ♪