1 00:01:08,255 --> 00:01:10,591 The flowers were lovely. Thank you. 2 00:01:10,674 --> 00:01:12,676 Well, great, yeah. 3 00:01:12,759 --> 00:01:14,344 Jane picked them out. 4 00:01:14,428 --> 00:01:15,929 Oh! Well, they weren't 5 00:01:16,013 --> 00:01:18,223 the most expensive flowers I've gotten, 6 00:01:18,307 --> 00:01:20,017 but I guess it's the thought that counts, 7 00:01:20,100 --> 00:01:22,227 which I could use right now, especially with 8 00:01:22,311 --> 00:01:24,646 all of Sharon's bullshit I've been putting up with. 9 00:01:24,730 --> 00:01:26,273 I'm sorry. What'd she do? 10 00:01:26,356 --> 00:01:30,527 Well, she never thanked me for the portrait I gave her. 11 00:01:30,611 --> 00:01:31,862 So I said something. 12 00:01:31,945 --> 00:01:35,490 And I guess I deserved it because I'm too nice. 13 00:01:35,574 --> 00:01:36,909 Lesson learned. 14 00:01:36,992 --> 00:01:40,704 But disinviting me to Thanksgiving last minute, 15 00:01:40,787 --> 00:01:41,788 and I'm the toxic one? 16 00:01:41,872 --> 00:01:43,540 -Mm. -You should come to ours. 17 00:01:43,624 --> 00:01:45,834 Really? You mean that? 18 00:01:45,918 --> 00:01:48,503 Of course, we'd love that. 19 00:01:48,587 --> 00:01:50,714 Yeah, totally, or you could patch things up 20 00:01:50,797 --> 00:01:52,382 with Aunt Sharon. [nervous chuckle] 21 00:01:52,466 --> 00:01:54,843 I would love to join you, but I was afraid to ask, 22 00:01:54,927 --> 00:01:57,387 'cause I'd hate to put you two on the spot. 23 00:01:57,471 --> 00:02:01,183 Well, yeah, Mom. Come to Friendsgiving, 24 00:02:01,266 --> 00:02:02,434 -unless you-- -It'll be fun. 25 00:02:02,517 --> 00:02:06,313 What? Friendsgiving. What's that? 26 00:02:06,396 --> 00:02:08,398 Friendsgiving. 27 00:02:08,482 --> 00:02:12,152 Well, it's pretty much Thanksgiving with friends. 28 00:02:12,236 --> 00:02:13,654 Friendsgiving. 29 00:02:13,737 --> 00:02:15,656 It's just a stupid name people are calling it now. 30 00:02:15,739 --> 00:02:18,158 Don't worry, just come, no pressure. 31 00:02:18,242 --> 00:02:19,576 We'd be really excited to have you. 32 00:02:19,660 --> 00:02:20,994 [John] Yeah, totally. 33 00:02:21,078 --> 00:02:22,829 [Jane] The only reason we didn't invite you in the first place 34 00:02:22,913 --> 00:02:25,040 is because we knew you were doing it at Aunt Sharon's, 35 00:02:25,123 --> 00:02:27,084 but this is great. 36 00:02:27,167 --> 00:02:28,126 Yeah. 37 00:02:28,210 --> 00:02:30,045 [Jane] Um, please don't feel like we left you out, 38 00:02:30,128 --> 00:02:30,963 we would never. 39 00:02:31,046 --> 00:02:32,589 And don't feel beholden to us, too. 40 00:02:32,673 --> 00:02:36,677 If you make up with Aunt Sharon, then... 41 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:38,220 [Mother] Yeah? 42 00:02:38,303 --> 00:02:40,681 Then... well, that's cool. 43 00:02:40,764 --> 00:02:42,432 Friendsgiving, so dumb. 44 00:02:42,516 --> 00:02:45,769 Wasn't Familiesgiving when you were growing up. 45 00:02:45,852 --> 00:02:47,271 -Mm. -[Mother] Imagine that. 46 00:02:47,354 --> 00:02:51,984 -Probably some PC bullshit. -[John] Yeah. 47 00:02:52,067 --> 00:02:55,946 Who else is gonna be at this Friendsgiving? 48 00:02:56,697 --> 00:02:57,739 A couple of friends. 49 00:02:57,823 --> 00:03:00,409 Mm. Anybody that I know? 50 00:03:00,492 --> 00:03:02,244 Just a friend from college. 51 00:03:02,327 --> 00:03:03,412 And my buddy, Jake. 52 00:03:03,495 --> 00:03:05,497 And John's father. And Rick. 53 00:03:05,580 --> 00:03:06,456 [spits] 54 00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:08,292 We were just thinking, 55 00:03:08,375 --> 00:03:09,501 because you were gonna be 56 00:03:09,584 --> 00:03:11,628 spending Thanksgiving with Aunt Sharon, 57 00:03:11,712 --> 00:03:14,298 and Dad was gonna be in town that-- 58 00:03:14,381 --> 00:03:15,716 Oh, wow, this is awkward-- 59 00:03:15,799 --> 00:03:21,722 That, uh-- So we were previously thinking that, um-- 60 00:03:21,805 --> 00:03:23,682 -you-- -We invited them. 61 00:03:23,765 --> 00:03:25,851 [John] We invited them. 62 00:03:25,934 --> 00:03:27,811 What? 63 00:03:29,271 --> 00:03:31,815 -[John] Mom? -[groans] 64 00:03:31,898 --> 00:03:33,734 -[John] Mom! -Ahh! 65 00:03:33,817 --> 00:03:35,277 -Oh, shit. -This is it. 66 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:36,445 Mom? Mom, are you all right? 67 00:03:36,528 --> 00:03:38,613 -[groans] -She fainted. 68 00:03:38,697 --> 00:03:41,158 Yeah. I'll go get some water. 69 00:03:41,241 --> 00:03:42,701 [groans] 70 00:03:43,744 --> 00:03:46,830 You're such a good boy, Johnny, always have been. 71 00:03:46,913 --> 00:03:48,373 I'm sorry I fainted. 72 00:03:48,457 --> 00:03:49,916 Don't apologize. Rest. 73 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,794 I'm sorry for what your father did to us, 74 00:03:52,878 --> 00:03:54,713 and you at such a young age. 75 00:03:54,796 --> 00:03:55,922 -Such a shame. -Mm. 76 00:03:56,006 --> 00:04:00,010 But don't worry about me. I'll be fine. 77 00:04:00,093 --> 00:04:02,763 -No, Mom, just take it easy. -No, no, I'm okay. 78 00:04:02,846 --> 00:04:04,806 We'll get through this Thanksgiving. 79 00:04:04,890 --> 00:04:06,767 Sorry, Friendsgiving. 80 00:04:06,850 --> 00:04:09,811 I was just shocked to hear your father was joining us 81 00:04:09,895 --> 00:04:12,731 since it's our Friendsgiving, 82 00:04:12,814 --> 00:04:16,860 but I'll be fine, don't make a fuss. 83 00:04:20,572 --> 00:04:24,618 And please make sure your father doesn't bring Rick, too. 84 00:04:24,701 --> 00:04:26,703 What? But we already told him to come. 85 00:04:26,787 --> 00:04:29,498 No, no, no, no, no, that's non-negotiable. 86 00:04:29,581 --> 00:04:30,791 But, Mom, this is so awkward. 87 00:04:30,874 --> 00:04:33,502 We can't just disinvite them like that. 88 00:04:33,585 --> 00:04:36,129 Well, I-- I guess if she insists. 89 00:04:36,213 --> 00:04:38,340 Oh, I insist. 90 00:04:38,423 --> 00:04:41,093 Okay, I'm gonna rest up. 91 00:04:41,176 --> 00:04:42,344 Wow, that was a lot. 92 00:04:42,427 --> 00:04:44,554 [door closes] 93 00:04:44,638 --> 00:04:48,016 Fucking great. God. 94 00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:48,892 Sorry, babe. 95 00:04:48,975 --> 00:04:52,145 I know this means a lot to you. 96 00:04:52,229 --> 00:04:55,524 It's okay, I just don't want any drama, you know? 97 00:04:55,607 --> 00:04:58,443 I just want our Friendsgiving to be chill. 98 00:05:03,615 --> 00:05:06,660 Ah! Fuck me! 99 00:05:06,743 --> 00:05:08,662 Stupid thing. 100 00:05:08,745 --> 00:05:13,083 I should have seen it comin' with the flower comment. 101 00:05:13,166 --> 00:05:14,584 Idiot! 102 00:05:14,668 --> 00:05:16,795 [grunts] 103 00:05:16,878 --> 00:05:18,422 When are you gonna tell your dad? 104 00:05:18,505 --> 00:05:19,840 [John] Tomorrow, I guess. 105 00:05:19,923 --> 00:05:22,426 God, this whole situation really sucks. 106 00:05:24,219 --> 00:05:27,556 [gargling] 107 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:30,142 [John] I mean, how are those flowers 108 00:05:30,225 --> 00:05:31,226 not expensive enough? 109 00:05:31,309 --> 00:05:32,811 Maybe it's me. 110 00:05:32,894 --> 00:05:34,688 [John] And they divorced, like, five years ago. 111 00:05:34,771 --> 00:05:36,565 It's not like some childhood trauma. 112 00:05:36,648 --> 00:05:38,775 Babe, we'll get through this. 113 00:05:38,859 --> 00:05:41,194 Ugh! 114 00:05:41,278 --> 00:05:42,446 [Jane] Babe? 115 00:05:42,529 --> 00:05:44,239 You're going to sleep now? 116 00:05:44,322 --> 00:05:47,492 Yeah, I'm drained. 117 00:05:47,576 --> 00:05:48,827 You really think she fainted? 118 00:05:48,910 --> 00:05:51,955 What do you mean, like, she faked it or something? 119 00:05:52,038 --> 00:05:53,206 Wouldn't put it past her. 120 00:05:53,290 --> 00:05:54,958 She's done much crazier shit before. 121 00:05:55,041 --> 00:05:59,087 Says the guy who's in bed and didn't even take his shoes off. 122 00:06:02,466 --> 00:06:05,510 Mm... [sighs] 123 00:06:09,806 --> 00:06:10,974 Babe, it's okay. 124 00:06:11,057 --> 00:06:13,185 Trust me, she's gonna fuck the whole thing up. 125 00:06:13,268 --> 00:06:16,313 She does this every time. 126 00:06:16,396 --> 00:06:17,522 I mean... 127 00:06:17,606 --> 00:06:20,233 I can't tell my dad not to bring Rick. 128 00:06:20,317 --> 00:06:21,359 It's his husband. 129 00:06:21,443 --> 00:06:23,069 You're not supposed to negotiate with terrorists. 130 00:06:23,153 --> 00:06:25,530 One thousand percent it wasn't because of her portrait. 131 00:06:25,614 --> 00:06:27,532 Aunt Sharon just got sick of her shit, 132 00:06:27,616 --> 00:06:29,117 and she doesn't want her making a scene 133 00:06:29,201 --> 00:06:30,827 at Thanksgiving this year. 134 00:06:30,911 --> 00:06:31,995 I think you're overreacting. 135 00:06:32,078 --> 00:06:34,080 It's your mom, she loves you. 136 00:06:34,164 --> 00:06:36,833 I mean, it's either some passive aggressive victim stuff 137 00:06:36,917 --> 00:06:38,084 or she's going off about 138 00:06:38,168 --> 00:06:40,795 some Q-Anon conspiracy play-by-play, 139 00:06:40,879 --> 00:06:42,797 which is definitely going to trigger my dad, 140 00:06:42,881 --> 00:06:44,591 and then they'll get into one of their fights, 141 00:06:44,674 --> 00:06:46,009 which will definitely not be chill 142 00:06:46,092 --> 00:06:47,052 in front of our friends. 143 00:06:47,135 --> 00:06:49,054 She just wants your attention. 144 00:06:49,137 --> 00:06:52,557 You always do this. It's both of you. 145 00:07:01,608 --> 00:07:02,567 [knocking] 146 00:07:02,651 --> 00:07:05,028 [sighs] 147 00:07:07,489 --> 00:07:10,534 Son, what's going on? 148 00:07:11,868 --> 00:07:14,287 Here you go, Dad. 149 00:07:14,371 --> 00:07:17,207 Mm. What's this? 150 00:07:17,290 --> 00:07:18,750 A script. 151 00:07:18,833 --> 00:07:21,920 Yeah, I was just thinking, you know how Jane and I 152 00:07:22,003 --> 00:07:23,630 are doing the Friendsgiving tonight-- 153 00:07:23,713 --> 00:07:24,881 -Yeah. -And you and Rick 154 00:07:24,965 --> 00:07:26,174 were all planning on coming together. 155 00:07:26,258 --> 00:07:28,134 I fear this is one of your crazy schemes 156 00:07:28,218 --> 00:07:30,387 having to do with your mother. 157 00:07:30,470 --> 00:07:31,596 Like your birthday again. 158 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,056 Well, this is a little different, Dad. 159 00:07:33,139 --> 00:07:34,766 [groans] Here we go. 160 00:07:34,849 --> 00:07:36,643 -About Rick-- -Mm-hm. 161 00:07:36,726 --> 00:07:38,186 She got into a thing with Aunt Sharon, 162 00:07:38,270 --> 00:07:39,771 so she's not going to hers anymore, 163 00:07:39,854 --> 00:07:41,648 so she told us she's coming to ours and, uh, 164 00:07:41,731 --> 00:07:44,109 -she, uh-- -Mm-hm. 165 00:07:44,192 --> 00:07:45,902 She says Rick can't be there. 166 00:07:45,986 --> 00:07:47,279 -What? -Yeah. 167 00:07:47,362 --> 00:07:50,156 -I can't do that to Rick. -Yeah, uh-- 168 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:51,783 We're going on a cruise tomorrow. 169 00:07:51,866 --> 00:07:54,077 Well, she fainted and then she insisted. 170 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:56,371 So I figured we have to accept that she's coming, 171 00:07:56,454 --> 00:07:57,414 and I came up with a way 172 00:07:57,497 --> 00:07:59,249 to make sure it goes as smoothly as possible 173 00:07:59,332 --> 00:08:01,167 because holidays mean a lot to Jane. 174 00:08:01,251 --> 00:08:03,044 So I wrote up some prompts and responses 175 00:08:03,128 --> 00:08:04,796 to avoid any landmines, and I figure if we 176 00:08:04,879 --> 00:08:06,590 stay on script and not take the bait 177 00:08:06,673 --> 00:08:07,882 instead of getting into a fight, 178 00:08:07,966 --> 00:08:09,593 we can, like, get in front of it and like, 179 00:08:09,676 --> 00:08:11,177 you know, like fix it, 180 00:08:11,261 --> 00:08:12,929 uh, before it becomes a thing. 181 00:08:13,013 --> 00:08:14,931 'Cause you abandoned me with this crazy woman 182 00:08:15,015 --> 00:08:16,683 and I need you to do this for me. 183 00:08:16,766 --> 00:08:17,934 "If she brings up Pizzagate, 184 00:08:18,018 --> 00:08:19,811 say, 'That sounds like a serious crime.'" 185 00:08:19,894 --> 00:08:21,229 "Don't argue with facts?" 186 00:08:21,313 --> 00:08:22,772 Well, instead of proving her wrong, 187 00:08:22,856 --> 00:08:25,066 you just listen and say, "Yeah." 188 00:08:25,150 --> 00:08:27,444 You just drop this on me and somehow expect me to 189 00:08:27,527 --> 00:08:31,448 memorize 80 pages of this nonsense at the last minute? 190 00:08:31,531 --> 00:08:32,365 [scoffs] 191 00:08:32,449 --> 00:08:35,243 I don't think you've gamed this all out. 192 00:08:35,827 --> 00:08:38,121 Well, uh... but I did. 193 00:08:38,204 --> 00:08:40,790 Maybe my friend Dave could, like, radio it to you. 194 00:08:40,874 --> 00:08:42,208 There's no way. 195 00:08:42,292 --> 00:08:45,045 [John] Also, please don't mention the cruise. 196 00:08:46,338 --> 00:08:48,131 [John] Good news, babe. I talked to my dad 197 00:08:48,214 --> 00:08:50,383 and I think it's all gonna be totally okay. 198 00:08:50,467 --> 00:08:51,384 You were right. 199 00:08:51,468 --> 00:08:52,927 I'm feeling good about this now. 200 00:08:53,011 --> 00:08:54,346 Oh, that's great news. 201 00:08:54,429 --> 00:08:57,223 Your mom's here and she brought her housekeeper. 202 00:08:57,307 --> 00:08:58,850 [John] Really? That okay? 203 00:08:58,933 --> 00:09:01,061 Well, yeah, I just wasn't expecting it. 204 00:09:01,144 --> 00:09:03,605 And, of course, you put the centerpiece in the middle 205 00:09:03,688 --> 00:09:04,939 where the food is supposed to go. 206 00:09:05,023 --> 00:09:06,274 Yeah. I put it in the middle. 207 00:09:06,358 --> 00:09:07,901 That's what it's called a centerpiece for. 208 00:09:07,984 --> 00:09:09,319 [Mother] Don't get cute, Annie, not now. 209 00:09:09,402 --> 00:09:12,072 This is my Friendsgiving, okay? 210 00:09:12,155 --> 00:09:13,698 [Jane] I should probably go help them. 211 00:09:13,782 --> 00:09:14,991 Love you, babe. See you soon. 212 00:09:15,075 --> 00:09:17,952 Love you t-- Oh, the fuck, dude! 213 00:09:18,036 --> 00:09:19,996 Sorry, I was just-- Oh. 214 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:21,665 Much better, right? 215 00:09:21,748 --> 00:09:23,083 Where's the centerpiece? 216 00:09:23,166 --> 00:09:24,959 Oh, here it is. Weird. 217 00:09:25,043 --> 00:09:27,921 -Oh, Annie must have moved it. -It's okay, I'll just put it 218 00:09:28,004 --> 00:09:29,297 right back here where it was before. 219 00:09:29,381 --> 00:09:31,633 They actually were quite expensive, these ones. 220 00:09:31,716 --> 00:09:33,843 Uh-- Did you make place cards? 221 00:09:33,927 --> 00:09:36,262 Yeah. Definitely not sittin' next to him. 222 00:09:36,346 --> 00:09:37,639 Really? 223 00:09:37,722 --> 00:09:38,848 Oh, no, no, no, no. 224 00:09:38,932 --> 00:09:41,142 Not for my Friendsgiving. 225 00:09:41,226 --> 00:09:42,602 Oh, because we were thinking, 226 00:09:42,686 --> 00:09:43,895 like, maybe this could be more casual. 227 00:09:43,978 --> 00:09:45,647 Well, you thought wrong. 228 00:09:51,319 --> 00:09:53,113 Yeah, just go ahead and commandeer 229 00:09:53,196 --> 00:09:54,572 all the stuff I've been cooking. 230 00:09:54,656 --> 00:09:56,574 That's totally normal behavior. 231 00:09:56,658 --> 00:09:58,326 Annie, it's not a good idea 232 00:09:58,410 --> 00:09:59,786 to use that tray for the soup. 233 00:09:59,869 --> 00:10:01,663 And there's not enough seasoning 234 00:10:01,746 --> 00:10:03,206 in it either, by the way. 235 00:10:03,289 --> 00:10:04,582 You've gotta be kidding me? 236 00:10:04,666 --> 00:10:06,292 Oh, this gravy's all lumpy. 237 00:10:06,376 --> 00:10:09,754 -Oh, my God. Oh, my God! -I'll save it for you. 238 00:10:10,463 --> 00:10:12,006 Sorry I'm late, babe, had to take care of 239 00:10:12,090 --> 00:10:13,258 a few things on the way home. 240 00:10:13,341 --> 00:10:16,386 It's all good, though. It is all good. 241 00:10:16,469 --> 00:10:18,638 That's cool. Been stuck here with Annie and your mom. 242 00:10:18,722 --> 00:10:20,807 [John] Yeah, sorry, I didn't realize she'd bring her, too. 243 00:10:20,890 --> 00:10:22,058 But I'm sure it's nice to have 244 00:10:22,142 --> 00:10:23,643 some extra help around the house. 245 00:10:23,727 --> 00:10:24,811 Seems like a pretty tense vibe 246 00:10:24,894 --> 00:10:26,020 going on between those two. 247 00:10:26,104 --> 00:10:27,564 [John] Ah, it's nothin'. 248 00:10:27,647 --> 00:10:29,399 They're like two old friends. 249 00:10:29,482 --> 00:10:30,316 You know? 250 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,235 Sure. Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. 251 00:10:32,318 --> 00:10:34,320 Don't worry, babe. Things are gonna go great. 252 00:10:34,404 --> 00:10:36,948 It's gonna be awesome. Totally smooth. 253 00:10:37,031 --> 00:10:38,742 I'm psyched. 254 00:10:38,825 --> 00:10:40,660 Check you out, positive guy. 255 00:10:40,744 --> 00:10:41,995 [chuckles] My God. 256 00:10:42,078 --> 00:10:43,538 Hell, yeah. 257 00:10:43,621 --> 00:10:45,582 I'm not gonna get all stressed out about it. 258 00:10:45,665 --> 00:10:46,458 Yeah? 259 00:10:46,541 --> 00:10:47,959 And I'm gonna do everything in my power 260 00:10:48,042 --> 00:10:49,419 to make it a super chill Friendsgiving. 261 00:10:49,502 --> 00:10:52,672 I know how much it means to you. 262 00:10:52,756 --> 00:10:54,674 And I want to honor that. 263 00:10:54,758 --> 00:10:57,510 -Because, uh-- -Because? 264 00:10:57,594 --> 00:11:00,722 -Because... -Yes? 265 00:11:00,805 --> 00:11:01,765 I love you. 266 00:11:01,848 --> 00:11:03,475 Aww, John. 267 00:11:04,434 --> 00:11:07,854 All right. Well, it's all downhill from here. 268 00:11:07,937 --> 00:11:09,564 You're not up to something weird, right? 269 00:11:09,647 --> 00:11:10,690 Weird? What-- 270 00:11:10,774 --> 00:11:13,234 Why would I be up to something weird? 271 00:11:13,318 --> 00:11:15,612 Well, you're kind of going overboard here, 272 00:11:15,695 --> 00:11:18,656 and it just feels weird. 273 00:11:18,740 --> 00:11:21,701 No. Everything's cool. 274 00:11:21,785 --> 00:11:23,286 Is that true? 275 00:11:23,369 --> 00:11:25,705 Of course. I know how much this means to you. 276 00:11:25,789 --> 00:11:26,998 I'm jazzed! 277 00:11:27,081 --> 00:11:29,959 Oh, whoa, look at the time. Yeah, we gotta boogie. 278 00:11:30,043 --> 00:11:31,586 -Wait. -Come on. 279 00:11:31,669 --> 00:11:32,712 You promise? 280 00:11:32,796 --> 00:11:35,673 Yeah, babe, I promise. Let's do this. Rock and roll. 281 00:11:35,757 --> 00:11:41,221 -Son? -[Jane] Rock and roll? 282 00:11:41,304 --> 00:11:42,889 Dad. Sorry to keep you guys waiting. 283 00:11:42,972 --> 00:11:44,224 We're just running a little bit late. 284 00:11:44,307 --> 00:11:45,517 -Hi. -Aren't we fortunate that 285 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:46,935 we've been having such lovely weather 286 00:11:47,018 --> 00:11:49,729 -the last few days, huh? -I guess. 287 00:11:49,813 --> 00:11:52,273 -More turkey? -No. 288 00:11:52,357 --> 00:11:56,027 Well, a friend forwarded me a very informative post today 289 00:11:56,110 --> 00:11:57,779 about all those illegal immigrants 290 00:11:57,862 --> 00:11:59,280 pouring across our borders. 291 00:11:59,364 --> 00:12:01,825 Did you know in addition to taking our jobs 292 00:12:01,908 --> 00:12:03,326 and spreading crime and terrorism, 293 00:12:03,409 --> 00:12:05,453 -they're Marxists, too? -That's interesting. 294 00:12:05,537 --> 00:12:07,288 Never thought about immigration that way. 295 00:12:07,372 --> 00:12:10,291 -Thank you for sharing that. -[Mother] Uh, you're welcome? 296 00:12:10,375 --> 00:12:12,335 [Dad] Perhaps you can forward me that article 297 00:12:12,418 --> 00:12:14,420 -so we can discuss it. -[scoffs] 298 00:12:14,504 --> 00:12:16,172 My friend forwarded me this video 299 00:12:16,256 --> 00:12:18,174 where it's, like, animals saving other animals, 300 00:12:18,258 --> 00:12:19,592 and sometimes it's interspecial. 301 00:12:19,676 --> 00:12:23,096 Like a bobcat saving a baby moose from drowning. 302 00:12:23,179 --> 00:12:24,472 What was that? 303 00:12:24,556 --> 00:12:27,392 Uh, yeah, my friend sent me this video where there's a bobcat 304 00:12:27,475 --> 00:12:29,686 that saves a baby moose from drowning. 305 00:12:29,769 --> 00:12:30,854 [Mother] Baby moose? 306 00:12:30,937 --> 00:12:32,188 Wow, I could totally believe that. 307 00:12:32,272 --> 00:12:33,731 [Dad] Wow, I can totally believe that. 308 00:12:33,815 --> 00:12:35,358 -You're teaching me. -[Dad] You are teaching me, 309 00:12:35,441 --> 00:12:37,277 and I'm grateful for the wisdom. 310 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:38,778 Thank you so much. 311 00:12:38,862 --> 00:12:40,196 I'll take it. 312 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:41,489 [Jane] For sure. it's just cute. 313 00:12:41,573 --> 00:12:43,283 [Mother] Annie, you don't just take 314 00:12:43,366 --> 00:12:45,076 people's plates away like that while they're still eating. 315 00:12:45,159 --> 00:12:47,120 Annie, I know you can hear me through that door. 316 00:12:47,203 --> 00:12:48,329 Such a bitch. 317 00:12:48,413 --> 00:12:50,373 So what do you think about the Miami Heat? 318 00:12:50,456 --> 00:12:53,376 Uh, well, I agree that the jury's still out. 319 00:12:53,459 --> 00:12:56,796 We can't always listen to the scientists, now can we? 320 00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:59,173 -I really appreciate-- -[Dad] I really appreciate 321 00:12:59,257 --> 00:13:02,260 your perspective and value your insights. 322 00:13:02,343 --> 00:13:03,970 You've certainly given me a lot to think about... 323 00:13:04,053 --> 00:13:05,138 -Huh? -[Dad] ...on a complex issue. 324 00:13:05,221 --> 00:13:06,472 -Huh? -[radio static] 325 00:13:06,556 --> 00:13:07,974 -I'm getting a lot of interference. 326 00:13:08,057 --> 00:13:09,225 -[man] Classic rock-- -Can you hear me? 327 00:13:09,309 --> 00:13:11,519 -Ignore it. -[air horn blasts] 328 00:13:11,603 --> 00:13:13,271 -Come on, baby, light my fire. 329 00:13:13,354 --> 00:13:14,898 -Hello? -[man] Next up, Zeppelin. 330 00:13:14,981 --> 00:13:17,191 [sighs] Right. I guess I was... 331 00:13:17,275 --> 00:13:18,443 talking more about basketball. 332 00:13:18,526 --> 00:13:20,069 Take care of this as soon as possible. 333 00:13:20,153 --> 00:13:21,571 I can't deal with this shit anymore. 334 00:13:21,654 --> 00:13:22,405 -Uh-- 335 00:13:22,488 --> 00:13:23,615 [Mother] The fuck was that, Don? 336 00:13:23,698 --> 00:13:25,366 You havin' a stroke? What the hell? 337 00:13:25,450 --> 00:13:27,619 -[John] Mom, how's your food? -[Mother] Eh. Over-seasoned. 338 00:13:27,702 --> 00:13:29,913 I told Annie to take it easy on the salt, 339 00:13:29,996 --> 00:13:31,080 but she never listens. 340 00:13:31,164 --> 00:13:32,415 [Annie] You know I can hear you, right? 341 00:13:32,498 --> 00:13:34,167 [Mother] At least the gravy isn't lumpy. 342 00:13:34,250 --> 00:13:35,793 -That's because I saved it. -[Dad] I think we're back. 343 00:13:35,877 --> 00:13:37,086 [John] Dad, maybe we, uh-- 344 00:13:37,170 --> 00:13:38,588 [Dad] You really do have a refined palate. 345 00:13:38,671 --> 00:13:40,632 [Mother] What? Why are you being so complimentary? 346 00:13:40,715 --> 00:13:43,092 He must have had a stroke. Oh! Speak of the devil. 347 00:13:43,176 --> 00:13:45,011 -Annie. Give this to John. -[Mother] She hates me. 348 00:13:45,094 --> 00:13:46,137 You hate me, don't you, Annie? 349 00:13:46,220 --> 00:13:47,347 Just like Sharon. 350 00:13:47,430 --> 00:13:49,432 [Dad] Eunice, do you have any travel plans? 351 00:13:49,515 --> 00:13:50,934 -Nope. -Travel plans. That's cool. 352 00:13:51,017 --> 00:13:52,310 -Excuse me. -Where you goin'? 353 00:13:52,393 --> 00:13:53,895 -To the bathroom. -During the meal? 354 00:13:53,978 --> 00:13:55,188 I'll be back in a minute, okay? 355 00:13:55,271 --> 00:13:56,439 During the meal? 356 00:13:56,522 --> 00:13:58,024 [Dad] I hear Aspen is nice this time of year. 357 00:13:58,107 --> 00:13:59,943 [Mother] Aspen? I'd much prefer a cruise. 358 00:14:00,026 --> 00:14:01,361 I hear something weird. 359 00:14:01,444 --> 00:14:03,112 -[Dad] Don't talk about cruises. -[man] Mayday. Mayday. 360 00:14:03,196 --> 00:14:05,073 -[Dad] Mayday. Mayday. -[Mother] Mayday? 361 00:14:05,156 --> 00:14:06,699 -[static] -Is that the family? 362 00:14:06,783 --> 00:14:08,660 Stuck here. No way out. 363 00:14:08,743 --> 00:14:10,495 [static] 364 00:14:10,578 --> 00:14:11,663 If you don't send help, 365 00:14:11,746 --> 00:14:12,914 I'm not sure we're gonna make it. 366 00:14:12,997 --> 00:14:14,040 [Dad] We have provisions, 367 00:14:14,123 --> 00:14:16,542 but I'm not sure how long they will last. 368 00:14:16,626 --> 00:14:18,920 I repeat, mayday, mayday. 369 00:14:19,003 --> 00:14:21,297 If you see my son, tell him I miss him 370 00:14:21,381 --> 00:14:22,590 and I love him. 371 00:14:22,674 --> 00:14:24,592 -May God bless him. -Oh... 372 00:14:24,676 --> 00:14:26,803 [Mother] Are you being sarcastic, Don? 373 00:14:26,886 --> 00:14:28,137 Um, John? 374 00:14:28,221 --> 00:14:29,973 -What if I made it 250? -No. 375 00:14:30,056 --> 00:14:31,307 No? 376 00:14:31,391 --> 00:14:33,393 Okay, how about you just take this and we'll talk about it. 377 00:14:33,476 --> 00:14:35,395 I don't care about the money, I'm out. 378 00:14:35,478 --> 00:14:37,188 We'll work it out tomorrow... okay, okay. 379 00:14:37,271 --> 00:14:40,525 You're right, let's, uh... 380 00:14:40,608 --> 00:14:41,484 275. 381 00:14:41,567 --> 00:14:43,069 [Dad] Keep peddling, guys. 382 00:14:43,152 --> 00:14:45,989 Use your power to get on the leaderboard. 383 00:14:46,072 --> 00:14:48,032 Um, babe? 384 00:14:48,116 --> 00:14:49,867 Increase the resistance by two. 385 00:14:49,951 --> 00:14:51,327 You'll feel it in your legs, y'all. 386 00:14:51,411 --> 00:14:53,496 Oh, shit. 387 00:14:55,456 --> 00:14:56,624 Fuck, fuck, fuck. 388 00:14:56,708 --> 00:14:58,501 Like, what's the deal with bumper stickers? 389 00:14:58,584 --> 00:15:00,044 -Everything's cool. -Bumper stickers? 390 00:15:00,128 --> 00:15:01,546 -I'll be right back. -Hey, babe... 391 00:15:01,629 --> 00:15:03,047 You're monopolizing the conversation. 392 00:15:03,131 --> 00:15:04,590 Have you ever noticed that anybody 393 00:15:04,674 --> 00:15:06,342 who has them on their car... 394 00:15:06,426 --> 00:15:07,552 ...is a bad driver, man? 395 00:15:07,635 --> 00:15:09,762 Shots fired, the thrills. Could be, like-- 396 00:15:09,846 --> 00:15:13,099 Hey, let me put some reading material on my bumper. 397 00:15:13,182 --> 00:15:14,517 Maybe there's a correlation? 398 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:16,310 For sure there is, it's like my theory that all people 399 00:15:16,394 --> 00:15:18,521 who drink water with a straw can't be trusted. 400 00:15:18,604 --> 00:15:19,689 -Oh, definitely. -What? 401 00:15:19,772 --> 00:15:21,190 I mean, I get it. It's a liquid. 402 00:15:21,274 --> 00:15:23,026 -Sorry about that. -[Dad] It just feels wrong. 403 00:15:23,109 --> 00:15:24,277 [Mother] What is this, comedy hour? 404 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:25,778 And don't get me started on foodies. 405 00:15:25,862 --> 00:15:28,865 I get it, you like taking photos of shrimp. 406 00:15:28,948 --> 00:15:30,283 Or your $18 uni toast. 407 00:15:30,366 --> 00:15:32,285 [Mother] The real joke is how he left me for a gardener. 408 00:15:32,368 --> 00:15:34,245 Sorry, landscape architect. 409 00:15:34,328 --> 00:15:35,496 [Dad] This is Red Dog leader. 410 00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:36,914 What the fuck you just say to me, Eunice? 411 00:15:36,998 --> 00:15:38,374 [John] Dad, Dad, no. 412 00:15:38,458 --> 00:15:41,085 [Dad] Sorry, son, I can't do this charade any more. 413 00:15:41,169 --> 00:15:42,086 Can you read me? 414 00:15:42,170 --> 00:15:43,171 [Mother] Cocksucking homewrecker. 415 00:15:43,254 --> 00:15:44,547 [John] Mom! 416 00:15:44,630 --> 00:15:46,340 [Dad] Leave Rick out of this, you bigoted bitch. 417 00:15:46,424 --> 00:15:47,633 [John] Uh, Dad? 418 00:15:47,717 --> 00:15:49,510 Kind of hoping we could leave the past in the past. 419 00:15:49,594 --> 00:15:51,095 [Mother] Bitch? You're calling me a bitch? 420 00:15:51,179 --> 00:15:52,930 -Is that a wire? -[Mother] I'm a bitch? 421 00:15:53,014 --> 00:15:54,682 Um, yeah. Mega-bitch. 422 00:15:54,766 --> 00:15:56,100 [Mother] You're the bitch, bitch! 423 00:15:56,184 --> 00:15:57,518 -Oh, fuck. -Maybe you should have 424 00:15:57,602 --> 00:15:59,353 -honored our marriage. -[Dad] If you had even an ounce 425 00:15:59,437 --> 00:16:00,813 of the goodness Rick has inside him, maybe I would have. 426 00:16:00,897 --> 00:16:02,774 I'd like to take this opportunity to... 427 00:16:02,857 --> 00:16:04,567 [Mother] That's not all he's got inside of him. 428 00:16:04,650 --> 00:16:07,070 [Dad] My only regret is not leaving you sooner. 429 00:16:07,153 --> 00:16:08,446 ...to make a toast. 430 00:16:08,529 --> 00:16:10,448 [Mother] I hate you and your stupid fat cigar chomping 431 00:16:10,531 --> 00:16:11,824 cabbage patch-ass face. 432 00:16:11,908 --> 00:16:13,701 [Dad] And I hate you and your weaponized bitterness 433 00:16:13,785 --> 00:16:16,662 and oblique, Eunice, you fucking sociopath. 434 00:16:16,746 --> 00:16:18,206 [Mother] You're such a bitch. 435 00:16:18,289 --> 00:16:20,416 [Dad] Good job, keep spreading your bile. 436 00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:22,585 [Mother] I feel sick. 437 00:16:24,504 --> 00:16:25,922 Well, that was quite an adventure. 438 00:16:26,005 --> 00:16:29,050 I would have been better off if I'd just gone to Sharon's. 439 00:16:29,133 --> 00:16:30,176 [screeches] 440 00:16:30,259 --> 00:16:31,969 Don't like the article, Jane? 441 00:16:32,053 --> 00:16:33,137 Jesus! 442 00:16:33,221 --> 00:16:34,555 What the hell? 443 00:16:34,639 --> 00:16:35,932 -Babe. -What's gotten into you? 444 00:16:36,015 --> 00:16:37,266 Oh, give me a break. 445 00:16:37,350 --> 00:16:38,559 You're constantly coming at me, 446 00:16:38,643 --> 00:16:40,186 and I'm always trying to make it pleasant for you 447 00:16:40,269 --> 00:16:41,646 -while he's-- -[John] Babe, take it easy. 448 00:16:41,729 --> 00:16:43,689 I've never come at you and I resent that accusation. 449 00:16:43,773 --> 00:16:45,733 -Nothing's ever good enough. -That's not true. 450 00:16:45,817 --> 00:16:47,527 -The flowers, the food. -Got a mouth on her. 451 00:16:47,610 --> 00:16:50,321 Like, Mom, how do you think that's an okay thing to say? 452 00:16:50,404 --> 00:16:53,116 Sorry I'm not okay, John. 453 00:16:53,199 --> 00:16:54,492 Even that right there. 454 00:16:54,575 --> 00:16:56,202 It's like you're always so passive aggressive all the time. 455 00:16:56,285 --> 00:16:58,996 Well, maybe you're just too sensitive. 456 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:00,289 Ugh! 457 00:17:00,373 --> 00:17:01,999 I'm the one who had to suffer through your father's antics 458 00:17:02,083 --> 00:17:03,459 when he ruined my Friendsgiving. 459 00:17:03,543 --> 00:17:05,419 It wasn't your Friendsgiving, Mom, it was Jane's. 460 00:17:05,503 --> 00:17:07,380 It was supposed to be our Thanksgiving. 461 00:17:07,463 --> 00:17:08,506 Friendsgiving. 462 00:17:08,589 --> 00:17:09,507 Mom, stop. 463 00:17:09,590 --> 00:17:11,092 -Jane, will ya? -Pointless. 464 00:17:11,175 --> 00:17:12,510 -Kick me while I'm down. -Please. 465 00:17:12,593 --> 00:17:14,971 All I wanted was a nice, fun night. So depressing. 466 00:17:15,054 --> 00:17:18,474 I guess I'm responsible for her chemical imbalance, too. 467 00:17:18,558 --> 00:17:20,726 Just stop it. The fuck, Mom? 468 00:17:20,810 --> 00:17:22,145 [gasps] 469 00:17:25,231 --> 00:17:26,816 [coughs] 470 00:17:26,899 --> 00:17:27,942 Mom? 471 00:17:28,025 --> 00:17:29,986 Unbelievable. 472 00:17:32,864 --> 00:17:34,657 Great, was it worth her losing her shit? 473 00:17:34,740 --> 00:17:36,200 What about me, don't I count? 474 00:17:36,284 --> 00:17:37,743 Yeah, I defended you, but she's a live wire. 475 00:17:37,827 --> 00:17:39,537 You know that. You know how worked up 476 00:17:39,620 --> 00:17:40,663 I get around her. 477 00:17:40,746 --> 00:17:42,874 Yes, literally every fucking time. 478 00:17:42,957 --> 00:17:45,376 And speaking of wires, you put a fucking wire 479 00:17:45,459 --> 00:17:48,546 under your father's coat and you're feeding him lines 480 00:17:48,629 --> 00:17:50,214 secretly under the table. 481 00:17:50,298 --> 00:17:51,924 What the fuck is wrong with you? 482 00:17:52,008 --> 00:17:55,344 Babe, it was working for a sec, though. 483 00:17:55,428 --> 00:17:56,846 [groans] 484 00:17:58,264 --> 00:17:59,849 Damn. 485 00:18:00,892 --> 00:18:02,143 God. 486 00:18:02,226 --> 00:18:03,686 Idiot. 487 00:18:09,984 --> 00:18:11,235 [knocking] 488 00:18:18,201 --> 00:18:19,535 Who is it? 489 00:18:19,619 --> 00:18:20,536 It's me. 490 00:18:20,620 --> 00:18:21,787 -John. -Hey, Rick. 491 00:18:21,871 --> 00:18:23,289 I'm so sorry about everything. 492 00:18:23,372 --> 00:18:24,415 You could've called and let us know 493 00:18:24,498 --> 00:18:25,416 before you just showed up. 494 00:18:25,499 --> 00:18:26,834 You're right. Where's Dad? 495 00:18:26,918 --> 00:18:28,711 He's asleep, John. We're going on a cruise in the morning. 496 00:18:28,794 --> 00:18:30,129 I know, I just need to speak to him for a minute. 497 00:18:30,213 --> 00:18:31,464 Please. Please, Rick. 498 00:18:31,547 --> 00:18:32,673 I'm sorry, John, but he's really stressed out, 499 00:18:32,757 --> 00:18:33,925 and he really needs his sleep. 500 00:18:34,008 --> 00:18:35,176 Plus, you disinvited me! 501 00:18:35,259 --> 00:18:38,054 I'm sorry, Rick, I should have fought for you or something. 502 00:18:38,137 --> 00:18:39,889 Hey, Dad. 503 00:18:39,972 --> 00:18:41,182 Dad. 504 00:18:42,516 --> 00:18:44,352 John, let him sleep. 505 00:18:44,435 --> 00:18:46,229 He took a melatonin. 506 00:18:46,312 --> 00:18:48,898 Hey, Dad. 507 00:18:49,398 --> 00:18:51,067 We need to talk. 508 00:18:51,150 --> 00:18:52,401 Dad, can you wake up? 509 00:18:52,485 --> 00:18:55,029 -John, you're out of control. -Come on, Dad. 510 00:18:55,112 --> 00:18:56,030 Please, we need to talk. 511 00:18:56,113 --> 00:18:57,615 What? What the hell are you doing here? 512 00:18:57,698 --> 00:18:58,658 Things got way worse with Mom and Jane. 513 00:18:58,741 --> 00:18:59,951 What the fuck? 514 00:19:00,034 --> 00:19:01,577 I just really don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. 515 00:19:01,661 --> 00:19:03,037 Don't you think you've done enough already? 516 00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:05,373 I mean, Johnny, you took an awkward situation, 517 00:19:05,456 --> 00:19:07,333 and turned it into a dumpster fire. 518 00:19:07,416 --> 00:19:08,376 I know, but... 519 00:19:08,459 --> 00:19:09,418 I'm done with this shit. 520 00:19:09,502 --> 00:19:10,586 It didn't work because... 521 00:19:10,670 --> 00:19:12,004 Because Dave got a cheap Bluetooth headset 522 00:19:12,088 --> 00:19:15,383 and you started responding to Jane like she was Mom. 523 00:19:15,466 --> 00:19:17,635 That's not why. What time is it? 524 00:19:17,718 --> 00:19:20,471 I don't know, but the plan was actually a good one 525 00:19:20,554 --> 00:19:21,847 that was working at first. 526 00:19:21,931 --> 00:19:24,392 Maybe if we use wi-fi or something instead of Bluetooth, 527 00:19:24,475 --> 00:19:26,018 or maybe if we fix it by saying 528 00:19:26,102 --> 00:19:27,603 that you had a brand new hearing aid 529 00:19:27,687 --> 00:19:28,896 and it was on the fritz. 530 00:19:28,980 --> 00:19:30,606 I know you and Rick have that cruise tomorrow. 531 00:19:30,690 --> 00:19:32,650 Son, you've got to quit while you're ahead. 532 00:19:32,733 --> 00:19:33,901 I'm not ahead, Dad. 533 00:19:33,985 --> 00:19:36,404 Mom is pissed at me. Jane is pissed at me. 534 00:19:36,487 --> 00:19:37,697 They got into a massive fight. 535 00:19:37,780 --> 00:19:39,323 [Rick] Yeah, what did you expect? 536 00:19:39,407 --> 00:19:40,825 I know, I'm a moron, Rick. 537 00:19:40,908 --> 00:19:43,327 I just can't believe the hoops I've got to jump through 538 00:19:43,411 --> 00:19:44,578 just to keep things civil. 539 00:19:44,662 --> 00:19:45,913 Ugh, idiot. 540 00:19:45,997 --> 00:19:48,624 Son, maybe you shouldn't be jumping through hoops at all. 541 00:19:48,708 --> 00:19:49,834 Your mom is exhausting. 542 00:19:49,917 --> 00:19:51,752 I should know that better than anyone. 543 00:19:51,836 --> 00:19:53,754 She might suffocate you in her Chantilly-laced 544 00:19:53,838 --> 00:19:56,340 cottage core vitriol, but she's still your mom. 545 00:19:56,424 --> 00:19:57,842 I know, Dad. But it's relentless. 546 00:19:57,925 --> 00:19:59,260 She's constantly negging Jane, 547 00:19:59,343 --> 00:20:00,553 and nothing's ever good enough. 548 00:20:00,636 --> 00:20:03,347 And I get it. I spazz out and I make it worse. 549 00:20:03,431 --> 00:20:06,517 Jane's right. Ugh. 550 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,687 Self-fulfilling prophecy, every time. 551 00:20:09,770 --> 00:20:12,481 Fucking ruined her holiday. 552 00:20:12,565 --> 00:20:14,358 Ugh. 553 00:20:14,442 --> 00:20:16,569 It's my birthday again. 554 00:20:16,652 --> 00:20:19,655 Rick, can you bring me our tickets? 555 00:20:19,739 --> 00:20:20,906 Uh, yeah, I just saw them. 556 00:20:20,990 --> 00:20:22,491 [Dad] Aren't they in the kitchen? 557 00:20:22,575 --> 00:20:25,619 -Okay, yeah, I'll go check. -Thanks, love. 558 00:20:26,162 --> 00:20:28,372 Your mom just wants to be appreciated. 559 00:20:28,456 --> 00:20:30,750 And you can't always count on me 560 00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:32,626 bailing you out every time. 561 00:20:32,710 --> 00:20:33,836 [Rick] Ooh, found 'em. 562 00:20:33,919 --> 00:20:35,504 Rick's gonna kill me. 563 00:21:16,837 --> 00:21:18,881 I'm so sorry, Jane. 564 00:21:20,049 --> 00:21:22,343 You were right. You're always right. 565 00:21:22,426 --> 00:21:24,261 I let you down. 566 00:21:24,345 --> 00:21:25,888 I suck. 567 00:21:28,682 --> 00:21:30,393 Yeah. 568 00:21:30,476 --> 00:21:32,603 You suck. 569 00:21:32,686 --> 00:21:35,189 -You really suck. -Don't sugarcoat it. 570 00:21:35,272 --> 00:21:36,190 Where'd you go? 571 00:21:36,273 --> 00:21:39,193 To ask my dad for advice. 572 00:21:39,276 --> 00:21:40,486 What did he say? 573 00:21:40,569 --> 00:21:43,739 Well, that my plan was really stupid. 574 00:21:43,823 --> 00:21:45,116 -No shit. -Yeah. 575 00:21:45,199 --> 00:21:48,452 Any my mom's looking for appreciation. 576 00:21:50,663 --> 00:21:53,666 And it would go a long way if I just gave it to her. 577 00:21:53,749 --> 00:21:56,085 Appreciation? 578 00:21:56,168 --> 00:21:57,336 Yeah. 579 00:21:57,420 --> 00:21:58,546 You agreed? 580 00:21:58,629 --> 00:22:00,756 No, no, no, no, fuck that. 581 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:02,299 Yeah, I agreed, but 582 00:22:02,383 --> 00:22:04,760 I don't know why it's so hard for me to let my guard down 583 00:22:04,844 --> 00:22:06,178 when she's around, so... 584 00:22:06,262 --> 00:22:07,263 It's so hard. 585 00:22:07,346 --> 00:22:10,516 Hey, did you even get to eat dinner tonight? 586 00:22:10,599 --> 00:22:11,851 No, I didn't. 587 00:22:11,934 --> 00:22:14,437 You want me to grab you some leftovers from the kitchen? 588 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,439 You must be starving. 589 00:22:16,522 --> 00:22:18,607 Yeah. 590 00:22:22,445 --> 00:22:24,321 I'm done acting like a bitch. 591 00:22:24,405 --> 00:22:26,449 Oh, yeah? What does that even mean? 592 00:22:27,908 --> 00:22:30,619 Well... 593 00:22:30,703 --> 00:22:32,621 I think I came up with a good idea 594 00:22:32,705 --> 00:22:34,915 with my dad for how to fix this. 595 00:22:34,999 --> 00:22:36,667 New idea? I'm afraid to ask. 596 00:22:36,750 --> 00:22:37,793 Babe... 597 00:22:37,877 --> 00:22:40,004 I'm putting a ban on your ideas. 598 00:22:40,087 --> 00:22:41,589 But this one's actually good. 599 00:22:41,672 --> 00:22:45,009 You just said you're done being a bitch. 600 00:22:45,092 --> 00:22:46,469 Well, don't you even want to hear it? 601 00:22:46,552 --> 00:22:47,970 I mean... 602 00:22:48,053 --> 00:22:51,849 -We'll call up my mom. -Okay, so far, so good. 603 00:22:51,932 --> 00:22:53,184 -Go on. -Yeah, yeah. 604 00:22:53,267 --> 00:22:54,852 And then I say we're really sorry for everything 605 00:22:54,935 --> 00:22:56,562 that happened to you last night. 606 00:22:56,645 --> 00:22:58,355 We? Don't overdo it too much. 607 00:22:58,439 --> 00:23:02,568 Right, we don't want to rehash events too much. 608 00:23:02,651 --> 00:23:04,069 We need to set some boundaries, also. 609 00:23:04,153 --> 00:23:06,113 Then I say Mom, we booked you a cruise 610 00:23:06,197 --> 00:23:08,491 as a token of our appreciation. 611 00:23:08,574 --> 00:23:11,452 We booked a cruise? Wow. 612 00:23:11,535 --> 00:23:14,580 That's fucking brilliant, John. 613 00:23:14,663 --> 00:23:15,789 She'll love that. 614 00:23:15,873 --> 00:23:17,291 She was talking about that. On a ship, right? 615 00:23:17,374 --> 00:23:18,959 [John] Yeah, on a ship, what else would it be? 616 00:23:19,043 --> 00:23:21,128 -[John] It's legit. -[Jane] Just making sure. 617 00:23:21,212 --> 00:23:23,506 [fog horn blows] 618 00:23:24,965 --> 00:23:26,884 Everybody have your tickets ready? 619 00:23:26,967 --> 00:23:29,512 And your passports out. 620 00:23:29,595 --> 00:23:31,055 Tickets ready and passports out. 621 00:23:31,138 --> 00:23:33,349 Oh, my God, I can't believe you two did this for me. 622 00:23:33,432 --> 00:23:34,558 Thanks so much. 623 00:23:34,642 --> 00:23:36,602 -Of course. -And does your father know 624 00:23:36,685 --> 00:23:38,270 that you got a cruise for me? 625 00:23:38,354 --> 00:23:41,732 Well, no, I figured he probably shouldn't find out. 626 00:23:41,815 --> 00:23:43,943 He'll be jealous. I think you should. 627 00:23:44,026 --> 00:23:47,363 -Have a fun trip. -Thanks, I will, sweetie. 628 00:23:47,446 --> 00:23:48,572 Oh, come here, monkey. 629 00:23:48,656 --> 00:23:50,866 -Okay, Mom. -I love you so much. 630 00:23:50,950 --> 00:23:52,451 I love you so much. 631 00:23:52,535 --> 00:23:55,287 -Bye, monkey. -Goodbye. 632 00:23:55,371 --> 00:23:56,872 Send us pics. 633 00:23:56,956 --> 00:23:57,998 -Oh. -What's this? 634 00:23:58,082 --> 00:24:00,543 A little present to say thanks. 635 00:24:00,626 --> 00:24:02,294 Bye, Mom. 636 00:24:02,378 --> 00:24:03,337 [Jane] Thank you. 637 00:24:03,420 --> 00:24:04,547 [fog horn blows] 638 00:24:04,630 --> 00:24:06,090 [Jane] Your dad just gave you his tickets? 639 00:24:06,173 --> 00:24:08,092 [John] Yeah. I mean, Rick was pissed, but... 640 00:24:08,175 --> 00:24:10,803 [Jane] You really made her happy. 641 00:24:10,886 --> 00:24:12,763 Let's open it. 642 00:24:12,846 --> 00:24:14,807 -Uh, no, Jane. -Come on. Come on. 643 00:24:14,890 --> 00:24:16,225 -What are you doing? -No, no, no. 644 00:24:16,308 --> 00:24:18,519 It's just going to be something that totally 645 00:24:18,602 --> 00:24:19,728 -kills the vibe. -Give it to me! 646 00:24:19,812 --> 00:24:21,021 -No babe, please! -Give it to me! 647 00:24:21,105 --> 00:24:23,816 No, no, no, no, no. Real aggressive, babe. 648 00:24:23,899 --> 00:24:27,570 [Jane] You're the one that was trying to play keep-away. 649 00:24:28,988 --> 00:24:30,614 Whoa. 650 00:24:33,617 --> 00:24:35,536 That's sweet. 651 00:24:35,619 --> 00:24:36,870 Oh, she likes me. 652 00:24:36,954 --> 00:24:40,249 Who gives someone a photo of themselves? 653 00:24:41,375 --> 00:24:43,836 It's sweet. 654 00:24:43,919 --> 00:24:44,920 It's a trap. 655 00:24:45,004 --> 00:24:46,672 Better send her a thank you card 656 00:24:46,755 --> 00:24:50,217 unlike Aunt Sharon before she fucks up our Christmas. 657 00:24:50,301 --> 00:24:52,052 Babe!