What is it?
I just wanted to make sure.
'Bout what?
About Dumpling.
Why would you bother coming all the way here just for this?
Do as you see fit.
You know what is to be done.
The F-6.
The Grim Reaper.
It was horrifying to learn
that my friend was a trained assassin
who had killed dozens of our comrades.
But honestly
it was also a relief.
I wasn't the only one who'd been lying all these years.
And I could use his expertise.
Wait, I can help with that.
Fuck!
Yeah.
Black pudding.
"Black pudding"?
And what brings you here out of the blue?
I just thought I'd drop by.
'Kay, we might need to add another ground rule.
No surprise visits.
You look nice.
You're not too shabby yourself
for someone just "dropping by."
Have you ever been to a longevity celebration?
No.
But did I maybe see one on an episode of Star Trek?
You want me to go with you?
If I do say yes
how will you introduce me to other guests?
Why do I feel that however I answer, I'm doomed?
This isn't a trap.
Come on, baby, relax.
You're far too tense sometimes.
True, I agree
but does that mean you're coming with me?
Call you tonight.
Heartbreaking.
Are you...
are you following me?
No, no. This is pure coincidence.
Hence my astonished expression.
I didn't know you had a dog.
Oh, this thing.
Yeah, it's a good prop.
Nobody pays much mind
to a homosexual walking his foofoo dog.
Are you a homosexual?
I'm whoever I need to be.
Just like you.
Is he CIA-issued?
Oh, let's just say he's susceptible to suspicion.
Speaking of which
any leads on the General's suspicions?
Did your man in Saigon turn up anything worth looking into?
Quell the General's anxieties, stat.
Tell you why.
Because we need him.
But now he's just an impotent clown, isn't he?
Yeah, but he's still the king.
A clown with a crown.
So stop your waffling, get out there
and get me some goddamn proof.
It would also serve you well.
Remember
you're the one who brought up this candy business
in the first place.
Unwrap a few treats for the General to suck on.
Proof?
We could just call the Major the "Yellow Flag"
rough him up a little.
But what are we gonna do if he flat-out denies it?
Keep in mind, this is America.
If only we were still in Vietnam
where you could torture civilians with impunity, right?
Am I really supposed to pick that up now?
Well, a civic-minded homosexual would.
Christ. You're right.
Oh, no... don't eat it now. Christ.
Look, what if I can't turn up any proof?
Well, then you move on to the next guy
and the next guy, and the next guy, and the next after that
until you figure somethin' out.
And one more thing.
Can you do somethin' with this?
Let's go.
Ignoring the fact that patience
is the spy's number one virtue
I decided to ask Man one last time.
The Major was an innocent man
or as innocent as anyone in that army.
And still, no directive from Man
on whether or not I should kill
the Major.
I started to wonder
if it was a silent "no"
or a silent "yes."
Fuck it.
Hey, hey.
It's a new world here.
You can go anywhere
climb to any heights
as long as you make money first.
And in America
we don't have to stay just a chink and a bastard.
And if you fully commit to this land
you become fully American.
But if you don't
you're just a wandering ghost
living between two worlds
forever.
Sound wisdom.
"Embraced in the arms of the man I was meant to kill
I suddenly thought about his mother."
Are you sure you guys are refugees?
You know Asian families.
Từ xa thấp thoáng muôn tà áo tung bay
Nếp sống vui tươi nối chân nhau Dến nơi này
Saigon đẹp lắm, Saigon ơi! Saigon ơi!
I wonder how he scraped up enough for all this.
- Ms. Mori? - Monsieur.
Phố xá thênh thang đón chân...
One moment, I'll be right back.
Saigon đẹp lắm, Saigon ơi! Saigon ơi!
Tiếng cười cùng gió Chan hòa niềm vui say sưa
- Ôi đời đẹp quá, tràn bao ý thơ - Betrayal.
By whom?
Isn't it obvious?
The Major?
- Một tình yêu mến ghi lời hát câu ca - How dare she humiliate her father
in front of all our people?
And how dare the Major permit her
to whore herself out on stage?
Saigon đẹp lắm, Saigon ơi...
I wouldn't be suffering this humiliation
if you had just done your fucking job already.
I thought I should be generous
and let him celebrate his mother's 80th.
"Generous"?
You think you're in a position to grant such generosity?
Thank you. Thank you.
Okay
could everyone please find their assigned seats?
Lana.
Not the schoolgirl you once knew, hm?
Well... congrats.
Looks like today's also your graduation from living as...
"someone's daughter."
And you?
You graduated from "someone's aide-de-camp"?
I hope so.
You have a wonderful voice.
Thank you.
This is the General's daughter.
I mean, Lana.
And this is my boss.
I mean, my girlfriend, Ms. Mori.
Sofia.
Come on, let's have a drink. It's a party, isn't it?
I'll come with you. What are you having?
Margarita?
Sure, if you can find one.
- Sonny. - Sofia.
A Green Beret who served alongside us for four years
and who still fights for our people today
in the halls of the US Congress.
Please welcome our friend
Congressman Ned Godwin!
Holy shit.
Napalm Ned himself.
Thank you. Thank you, Major.
Did I interrupt your introduction?
I apologize.
Just take a look at the card there.
"Welcome, Congressman.
Your commitment to our people
is as clear as the scars on your hand."
This old thing?
These wounds are nothing
compared to the scars inflicted on your homeland.
It is a true honor to be here with you today
to celebrate the longevity of this wonderful Vietnamese lady.
And please accept this gift
as a symbol of the fellowship between our two countries.
You know, when I was fighting the Viet Cong
this handcrafted American blade was the best ally I had.
It saved my lily-white ass more than once.
It's bad luck to gift a Vietnamese person a knife.
They sever relationships.
What a dickwad.
No, this is a... this is a gift.
Hold this right here.
You know, looking out at your proud faces today
it reminds me of something dear to my heart.
The great promise of America.
The promise of the American Dream.
The promise that America is the land of freedom and independence
land of heroes
who will not relent in the cause of helping our friends
and smiting our foes.
One day, America will stand tall again
and it will do so
because of courageous immigrants like you.
And on that day, in gratitude
America will hear your plea.
America will offer its assistance.
And on that day, General Trong
who fought bravely at my side in the Northern Highlands
listen well
the land you have lost will once again be yours.
Long live Vietnam!
- Communism never wins. - Long live Vietnam!
- Capitalism will triumph. - Long live Vietnam!
Long live Vietnam!
Long live Vietnam! Long live Vietnam!
- Long live Vietnam! - Long live Vietnam!
America! Vietnam!
Machine gunnist, hey. Cheers.
Inspiring words, Ned.
Well, they have the added benefit of being true.
And the generous gift of your personal knife.
Oh, no... that's just a...
It's a good replica.
Congressman
this is the young man I was telling you about.
He's my Chief of Communications.
As you can see, he is of mixed race.
Oh, yeah.
Let me introduce my twins.
Spinach, because of that American Popeye cartoon.
Popeye eats spinach and become all-powerful.
And then, Broccoli just come naturally.
Strength and health!
This country isn't for the weak.
Your business, let me in.
They are cute, right?
Why?
You know what was funny about the speech back there?
I have a feeling you're about to tell me.
Freedom and independence
democracy.
That's similar to the slogan the Communist Party uses.
A slogan is an empty suit.
Anyone can wear it.
Hey, I like that. Mind if I use it?
Your friend, he's interesting.
He seems proud to flirt with the graffiti underground.
- He's not my friend. - Okay, everybody here?
Can someone turn that mirror ball off?
Spinach, Broccoli, cheese!
- Smile. - Cheese!
The Americans showered our people
with the American candy.
They got us hooked on the stuff.
So, you box up the expired candy
and then that guy ships them to...
Hong Kong.
And our guy in Kowloon disguises the packages
as the North Korean-donated school supplies.
Right.
Then, he ships them on to Saigon.
No one is going to touch the donated school supplies
from a fellow socialist ally.
You should put one of these on your bumper, too.
- Thanks. - Hey.
Look at us!
A pair of real Americans!
And next weekend, we are gonna celebrate
our first Independence Day in America.
I heard it's a real party.
And this year, even bigger
because it's one year before the Bicentennial.
There will be no sky
just fireworks!
Fireworks.
A Chinese invention, of course.
Major.
Hey!
That funky smell.
Thank you.
Is it Halloween or something
like, wearing costume and handing out treats?
You look like you're full white now!
That way.
Has my business made the General angry?
Tell him I'll cut him in. Fifty-fifty.
I told you not to turn around.
When?
Forty-sixty.
Okay, like, 20-70.
The remaining ten goes to you.
- Turn around. - You said don't turn around.
Just do what I say, for fuck's sake!
Fireworks are over.
Hello?
It's done.
Good.
Can you write a eulogy for me?
Sir?
They'll be holding a funeral soon
and I have a feeling
that they'll ask me to give a eulogy.
I mean, who else?
Try it.
Just like the good old days.
Good night.
Allow me to introduce
our wiliest adversary.
You heard about the dual-bomb attacks
in Bình Dương? Yeah?
They used a modified wristwatch as the triggering device?
You're talkin' about a double-detonation kill
and then a second kill on the rescuers?
You mean The Watchman?
That was his country nickname when he was a solo act.
But now he's the leader of a band
churning out hits with such perfect timing
we know he has an inside ear.
Certainly not how I imagined him.
Yep, we played over a hundred different songs
to see which spiked his adrenaline.
As a consequence, we've been blaring this particular ditty
for the past five days nonstop.
Now, funny thing, these commies
they'd rather listen to a wet fart than country music.
But he hasn't said a word.
We made affairs mighty miserable for him
but he won't budge.
That's why you're here. Get in there. Do something.
You'll need to be creative to crack him.
Come dance with me.
You know, that song is too cruel
for someone innocent until proven guilty?
Hey, you Yankees in there!
You hear that bullshit?
We yellow-faces are guilty until proven innocent.
Otherwise, why would your people shoot us first
and ask questions later?
You Americans believe that we yellow-faces are evil
from the time we are formed in our mothers' wombs.
We spring out as fully formed VC.
Obviously, I can't authorize your release
but I can certainly make your stay here more hospitable.
Play you a communist revolutionary song.
Get you a parrot to talk to.
Some bougainvillea, maybe.
Birds.
Flowers.
Fuck off.
Those CIA butchers out there?
They have a torture manual.
- Do we? - It's as intricate and precise
as one of those fine Swiss watches you like so much.
Everyone talks eventually.
Now...
we know you've placed moles
within our ranks.
And you're going to give them up.
Why put it off?
Why wait until the Americans have electrocuted your balls
with a thousand volts?
You know the CIA's nickname for a prisoner's penis
that's been through that process?
"The electric eel."
You're going to pray for death
while it's happening.
And you'll have betrayed every comrade
and everything you once believed in
and you'll still be alive.
You'll feel so guilty
that you'll pray for death all over again.
I know what I want.
If you grant me this request
I'll tell you what you want to hear.
Yes.
The food here...
well...
frankly...
it's fucking terrible.
So, I just want some boiled eggs for breakfast tomorrow.
Hard-boiled eggs.
Would...
three be enough?
Isn't this the part where you get a medic?
Oh, yeah.
Don't just do somethin', stand there!
Come on!
I think it's too late.
Let's go.
Let's go! Let's go!
We lost him.
Crafty bugger.
He knew if he peeled it
it'd be too smooth to stick in his throat.
What?
It's not dirty.
Oh, no, the... the shell provides a perfectly hygienic seal.
Can a question also double as an order?
Even if it can
it holds no power
after the deed is done.
I laughed a long time
when I read the message from Man
because that's the exact question I'd asked myself a thousand times.
Only difference was that mine was now in the past tense.
Was it necessary?
Should I drive you home, sir?
You see that hump in the tree over there?
That bird's nest-looking thing?
Did you know that that hump is chock-full of rats?
It's a rat's nest.
Fuck!
I fuckin' hate rats!
It pretends to be clean
but this city is filthy.
"Love it or leave it!"
It's clever.
Racially motivated crime on the Fourth of July.
Very clever.
But you know what, my friend?
You are a bit twisted.
Well, everything twisted about me, I learned from you.
You got the right guy.
We found a letter in one of his candy boxes.
The cipher was so rudimentary
our boys at Langley cracked it in about 20 minutes.
And what'd the message say?
He was on to you.
There you go.
How do you know "him" means me?
Well, remember at the liquor store
we told you how someone pegged you for a spy?
Guess who?
What a fool.
He pegged the guy we trust most.
Welcome to the world of spycraft!
One more round, then we're good.
Ridiculous, right?
Who is this? I like it.
Give it a shot.
That's The J.B.'s.
My protégé, you're coming along very nicely, very nicely.
- Thanks, Claude. - Yep.
So where are we going?
On to the next harbor on your voyage.
It's just begun.
You can't just work for the General forever.
It's time for a bigger assignment.
- Marco, table one. Yeah? - Yes, right this way.
This is the natural habitat
of the most dangerous creature on Earth.
A white man in a suit and tie.
Welcome to the steakhouse.
The quintessential American institution.
But your job today
is to be quintessentially Vietnamese.
Here you go, sir.
It turns out the professor inspired our friend's next project.
Actually, he read an article of mine in The New Republic.
It was about the first forays of the Green Berets
into the Highlands and he's latched onto it...
Yeah.
They say imitation is the highest form of flattery.
I wouldn't mind a bit of compensation...
Then he comes on strong, makin' all kinds of demands
about hardware that I can provide, you know
'cause of my relationship with the National Guard.
Trucks, tanks...
Who does he mean by "he"?
Thank God I'm here.
- How's everyone doin'? - Right this way.
- Fashionably late, huh? - Thanks. All is good, I trust?
Our sacred Allied Force.
So you're my Vietnamese guy?
Excuse me
- who are you? - Really?
- First words out of his mouth? - You don't know who he is?
Nicos Damianos.
You never heard of The Combination?
And The Combination 2.
Oh, sure.
You know... No. He... he knows the movies
- just... just not your face, right? - Yeah...
Okay, but, for starters, have you seen the movies?
The first? About a... quarter?
So you got bored, you walked out.
What? You thought it was garbage?
- What are ya, a critic? - Air raid warning.
Evacuated the cinema.
I liked what I saw, though
so don't tell me the ending.
Look at him guzzlin'.
Hammer's gettin' hammered over here.
- Take it easy, buddy. - Despite my best judgment
I like this kid.
He's plucky. Are you plucky, kid?
Oh, he is wildly plucky.
How deep does it go?
The pluckiness?
No, your blood. How deep?
'Cause what I'm lookin' for is a hundred percent "gook."
You know, and you look, pardon my French, a tad diluted.
Dinner and a show. Well...
Captain, we were hopin' you'd help us.
By helping his new movie.
To ensure its cultural integrity.
- Yeah, yeah. What he said. - To act as an interpreter of sorts.
A mediator between the two worlds
Oriental and Occidental.
The General speaks so highly of you, Captain, you know
a half-and-half who will give 100% to do whatever is necessary.
Right now, what seems necessary
is to demand an apology for the insult I just received.
Cool your jets, kid.
There's no apology comin'
but I am gonna give you the opportunity
of your fuckin' life.
I'll take an opportunity over an apology eight days a week.
Doesn't sound like such a bad deal.
Looks like we just sealed the deal there.
Come on. Calm down.
Cheers. Start with a test drive.
Is there at least a script I could read first?
But don't start readin' it now. You won't be able to put it down.
I'm tellin' you, it's genius.
Hey, gents, who feels like somethin' sweet?
- Club Room? - Oh, right.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Never a bad idea.
You and me against the world
Sometimes it feels like
You and me against the world
And all the others turn their backs And walk away
But that you can count on me to stay
Remember when The circus came to town?
Oh, dude.
That's no way to treat a lady.
Come here, sweetheart, we got you.
Didn't you learn any finesse from your French father?
He was French, wasn't he?
Welcome aboard.
Me against the world
Sometimes it feels like you and me...
Three lines into The Hamlet
and I was back in my hamlet as a boy.
I could hear the bamboo rustling in the wind.
And I was home.
One of us is left to carry on
Remembering will have to do
- Our memories alone - And cut, print, perfect.
- Will get us through - Reset, rolling...
- and action. - Think about the days
Of me and you
- Love it or leave it. - You and me against...
The world