(beeping)
(groans)
Ah!
(sighs)
You ever wake up on the wrong side of the bed?
Or in my case, out of bed?
For some reason, I feel like it's going to be
one of those Saturdays.
(beeping)
(grunts) Ouch!
Yeah, one of those Saturdays
where I can't find anything to wear,
and I hate everything in my closet.
Come on.
And nothing seems to fit right.
Does anybody else feel my pain?
(cell phone rings)
What up, Sim?
Hey, P. Look, sorry I'm late,
but I hate everything in my closet,
and nothing seems to fit right.
I think something's going around.
I don't know what's up with this morning.
I mean, yesterday I was fine, and today I'm just... blah!
And for the life of me, I don't know how to shake it.
Brownie?
Well, that's one way to shake it.
Mom, how'd you know?
Oh, baby. Mama knows.
Mama always knows
when it's that time.
(sighs)
Mm.
I may need more.
♪ Everybody out the way It's Saturday ♪
♪ All we do is celebrate ♪
♪ Long as I got fun family And friends ♪
♪ I got everything That I need ♪
♪ Everybody out the way It's Saturday ♪
♪ We ain't got no time To waste ♪
♪ No work, all play No stress ♪
♪ We got everything That we need ♪
♪ 'Cause there ain't No other day like Saturday ♪
I see that in the future.
Hey.
-What's up? -Hey!
I thought we were going to Saturdays.
And why are you guys sitting here watching movies?
Me and Simone just got front row tickets
to the Chocolate Club this morning.
And the cramps are performing their greatest hits.
Okay, what secret language are we speaking here?
The Chocolate Club?
Our bad. "Chocolate Club" is code for,
"Our little friend is visiting."
Which is another code.
Me and Paris' little friend visits
at the same time every month.
Mm-hmm. We're all synced up.
And we crave chocolate when it visits.
Whenever who visits? Wait a minute.
Double-fudge chocolate chip brownies are afoot.
Which means...
BOTH: Chocolate Club time.
Which means I'm out,
but after a brother grab one of these.
-London! -London!
What?
London!
London, there are three black women
looking at you like you just tried to touch their hair.
I'd put the brownie down if I were you.
Now run!
(door opens and closes)
So, Ari, I hope you don't mind us
just chilling on Saturdays today.
Especially with it being, you know,
Chocolate Club time and all.
Oh. Yeah. I mean, that's fine.
It's my Chocolate Club time, too, so...
Ari, are you serious?
(scoffs) Yeah.
I mean, I was gonna ask you all
if we could pause on Saturdays today first,
but you beat me to it.
Oh, okay. Well, then grab some of this couch
and join the Chocolate Club sisterhood.
Okay, okay, don't mind if I do.
(giggling) Okay.
Mom, were gonna need another bowl of brownie batter.
Ari's a Chocolate Clubber too.
Really? That's great!
Is it, Deb? Is it great?
It's what you want it to be, baby.
What do I know?
(oven timer dings)
Okay, brownie batter's in process,
but until it's ready, I have toasty heating pads.
-(girls) Ooh! -DEB: Dig in, ladies.
There you go, Ari. Grab one.
-Yay. Thank you. -Yes!
Some chocolate on it.
Whew.
(electronic dance music playing)
(spraying)
Shredded Meadow?
No. Cedar Tree Musk. Want some?
Hit me.
(chuckles) Hey.
-Oh! -(laughs)
(coughs) Okay, okay.
You guys are killing me over here.
That stuff reeks.
What are you talking about?
These are man scents, okay?
Guaranteed to attract all the ladies.
Says so right on the bottle.
Look, I hate to break it to you,
but ladies don't like their men smelling like cedar.
Unless you're cutting one down to build us a shoe rack.
Well, let me tell you right now, that ain't happening.
That's not surprising.
Ladies also don't like guys
who leave a mess everywhere they go.
It's kind of annoying.
No, what's annoying is you ladies are always complaining
about what y'all don't like.
Yeah, you don't like a guy who's too messy,
too clean, too soft, too strong.
Like...
Basically, you don't like guys who are anything.
Unless you're not into guys, which is okay.
Just means one less lady we're trying to impress.
(both laugh)
No, Derek.
I am very much into guys.
It just has to be...
the right guy.
Who's the dude with the fiddle?
That's my nephew, Theo.
-Handsome, ain't he? -Yeah.
PERRY: He's staying with me for a couple of months.
He builds houses for the homeless.
Got a scholarship to Grambling State University.
He even helps the elderly cross the street
any chance he gets.
That is, when he's not detangling dolphins
from fisherman's nets in his spare time.
-BOTH: He's not. -PERRY: Yeah.
That Theo's quite the swimmer.
You walked all the way over here to tell us this?
Yep.
(guitar being strummed)
He is very good.
What is wrong with her?
Man, whatever.
He ain't all that.
All them muscles.
Bet his teeth are all jacked up, though.
(both laugh)
Teeth stacking all up...
Well, there goes that.
ARI: Okay, repeat.
Knees in. (snapping fingers) Knees out.
And hover, hover, and flap.
Okay, all right, are you guys even paying attention?
I don't just butterfly bounce for anybody now.
You know what? I'm surprised that you even have the energy
to get up and dance right now.
During my chocolate time, all I want to do
is sleep, sleep, and more sleep.
My eyes are open, but I'm asleep right now.
You know what? How about I ask my mom
if you guys can have a sleepover with me.
I love slumber parties, especially...
You know, as long as we're partying and not slumbering.
-Okay? -Mm-hmm.
And as long as you don't start doing too much.
What are you talking about? When do I do too much?
The last time I stayed over.
♪ This is my moment ♪
♪ I came to own it ♪
♪ Then feel my energy ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm that next component ♪
(scatting)
♪ A brand-new energy ♪
(laughs)
That was funny, okay? You got me. You got me.
-(giggling) -Whoa, whoa.
Is this from the Stomach Slammer at the Pier?
The ride that slingshots you up in the air 12 stories
until your stomach slams in your throat?
Yeah. And it's 20 stories.
I ain't gonna lie.
My short life flashed before my eyes.
You know what? We should all go together.
Like, all three of us.
-Sure. I'm in. -Me too.
Hey!
Great. I can't wait.
I can't wait for the three of us to be terrified together...
like friends, you know?
Real friends.
Honestly, that's all I've ever wanted,
was to have girlfriends like the two of you,
that get me.
We can be in sync.
That we can share things together.
(snoring)
I'm really...
(both snoring)
(upbeat music playing)
Never mind.
(snoring)
(jolly music playing)
(applause)
Man, the ladies are out today. (chuckles)
I'm glad I took a shower.
Man, Duchess must be having some sort of
"Ladies get half off skate rental" special or something.
I don't know about the skate rental,
but I see the "special."
♪ We are doing fantastic ♪
♪ Doing fantastic ♪
(applause)
Man, he's spraying so good,
makes me want to rent some skates.
Oh, excuse me. Pardon me.
Uh, hello. Miss...
Shouldn't you be in the DJ booth doing your job?
It's on auto-play.
And I wanted to watch Theo...
spray.
(audience applauding)
Look at the care and attention he applies
to each skate that he handles.
It speaks to the love and passion
employed by his inner person.
He's what us ladies in line would like to call...
a man.
♪ Doing fantastic ♪
(scoffs) Oh, man. What man?
-(all gasp) -(music stops)
-(sighs) -Never mind. Carry on.
Come on, D.
Hold on.
I think he's about to spray two cans at one time.
♪ Doing fantastic ♪
(cheering and applauding)
-Wow, I need to learn that. -(sighs)
BOTH: Mm!
-This is so good. -Girl!
-Mm-mm. -Mm-mm.
ARI: Hey!
PARIS: Hey.
Want some double-chocolate chocolate shake?
I'm telling you, the brain freeze is worth it.
-No, I'm good. -I have chocolate in my purse.
It might have a little lint on it,
but it's yours if you want it.
I'll pass, but here's something you all don't want to pass on.
My dad said he'd take us to Dino-Rama Water Slide Park.
So, who is down to slide down the back of a brontosaurus?
Oh, man, I don't think I'm up for it today.
Yeah, me neither. You know it's...
BOTH: Chocolate Club time.
Oh. Um, yeah.
It's Chocolate Time for me too.
(chuckles) I don't know what I was thinking.
Oh, okay, well, then we can just do it at a later day then.
-Oh. -Okay, cool.
-Mm. -Mm.
-Hey, girls. -Hey.
So my pops got us tickets to ride the little go-karts
at Speedy Circle Speedway.
Do y'all want to burn some rubber?
-We would love to... -Yeah?
...but...
BOTH: Chocolate Club time.
Oh.
-Mm. -Mm.
Girls, you're not gonna believe this.
My dad got us passes to Zip Line City.
Y'all know y'all want to zip-line.
-Sorry. -BOTH: Chocolate Club time.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Ask what?
Ask you boys to clean up in here anymore,
because obviously you've decided not to listen to me.
Sorry, were you saying something, Madison?
-I wasn't listening. -DEREK: I heard everything.
-And I still ain't listening. -(laughs)
Hey, Theo.
Thank you.
-What does he want? -Let's see.
"Madison, I ask you to accompany me to the Planetarium.
I'd like to show you the stars, where you belong. Theo."
What kind of poem is that?
That doesn't even rhyme.
No wonder he never talks.
I think his note spoke just fine.
So, so, so let me get this straight.
You're going to the Planetarium? To do Planetarium stuff?
I'm sorry, were you saying something?
I wasn't listening.
She stole our joke.
Okay, girls, y'all ready for this?
My dad scored us
the Stomach Slammer Ultimate Platinum Package
for today and today only.
So, what do you guys say, for the hundredth time
of me asking... Okay.
-Ooh. -BOTH: Chocolate Club time.
I know, I know. Chocolate Club time.
You guys are driving me crazy
with all this Chocolate Club nonsense.
Ari, it's okay. Okay?
We get it. We really, really get it.
It's your Chocolate Club time.
Yeah, girl. Feed those emotions.
Feed those feelings, okay?
Chocolate gonna make it more better.
Paris, no amount of chocolate is gonna make it more better.
I mean, I thought that we were friends.
That we did things together. That we were clicking.
But obviously we're not clicking right now,
and I don't know why.
Maybe I need to go click somewhere else for a while.
Bye, girls.
Ari, don't turn your back on the chocolate.
Chocolate is life.
Mm!
BOTH: Mm! Chocolate Club time.
(loud beat playing)
Bro, check out Handy Man out there.
-Who he think he is, the Rock? -Hmm!
LONDON: More like the Pebble.
Fake old muscles.
Bet you the boxes is empty.
Wow, you two are haters.
Just because Theo clearly takes care of his body,
he's a simp?
Basically, and so are you,
because if Theo looked anything like...
Derek, you wouldn't give him the time of day.
Yeah.
Wait, what?
Theo having zero percent body fat
has nothing to do with my interest in him.
He's a true intellect.
Intellect? The boy hasn't said one word to you.
Nothing. Does he sign? Anything?
Yeah, he wrote you a note in crayon.
Whatever, just leave Theo alone, all right?
He's the kind of guy a girl wants. Deal with it.
(static crackles over speakers)
(dancers groan)
-Uh-oh. -"Uh-oh," what?
I think we might have blew out a speaker.
Yo!
(coughs) What happened?
-She blew a speaker. -He's lying.
What are we gonna do about the music?
(bluesy electric guitar playing)
(all cheering)
(bluesy electric guitar playing continues)
Theo.
(sighs)
(all cheering)
(giggling)
Theo is so smooth.
I got to give it up.
Maybe he is the guy that women want.
Maybe he is.
(video game dinging)
Move!
DUCHESS: Well, something moved.
And I think it was my joystick.
Come with me. I know what you need.
-(chair vibrating) -(laughs)
Feeling better?
Yes, Ma'am.
I feel excellent.
(vibrating stops)
Oh? No, no.
It stopped working.
Does it need more quarters?
Sorry, lady. Ride's over.
Tell me what's going on with you.
Usually your butterfly persona is popping everywhere.
Lately, not so much.
Duchess, do you ever feel like you're the odd girl out?
Or in your case, the odd Duchess out?
Where you have friends who seem to be really connected,
and they're experiencing things together
while you're standing on the outside,
wishing you could be in the club too?
But you're always feeling like you're a step behind them.
Nope.
Why did I expect that to land differently?
What I mean is, not anymore.
I've come to learn that being a step behind friends
is often a good thing.
Okay, I just...
I'm tired of being the last to the party.
Being the last to get an invitation.
It feels like everyone is going through things but me.
You know, womanly things.
Ari, all I can tell you is that your time will come.
The transition to womanhood is a beautiful
and empowering experience.
And when that time does come,
you'll see things a little different.
But what if it doesn't come?
I mean, what if my time never comes?
Trust me, it will.
Just be patient, Ari.
You have the rest of your life to be a woman,
but only a moment to be a kid.
Wow.
Those bubbles are really flowing.
You ain't seen nothing yet.
Mm.
Hey!
Where's Ari?
I don't know.
Probably somewhere being mad at me and Sim.
She wanted to go on the Stomach Slammer,
but we're just not feeling it.
Yeah, I mean, ain't nobody trying to be Stomach Slammed
during Chocolate Club time.
(laughs) Wait a minute.
Ladies, the world does not stop
just because it's Chocolate Club time.
Know your history.
This country, this world, this universe,
-was built by strong... -(door opens)
...competent, pain-tolerant women,
trudging through the monthly perils,
yet empowering and beautiful times
of Chocolate Club.
Ain't that right, Cal?
If I say yes, can I dip this fruit kabob into this chocolate?
Yes.
Then, yes. Women rule the world.
I'm just visiting.
(both wince)
(both chuckle)
See that, girls? That's how you train them.
I just don't get why Ari was so upset.
You'd think she'd understand,
especially since she's a part of the Chocolate Club too.
Ari is not a part of the Chocolate Club.
(laughs) Of course she is.
She's not.
With all due respect, Mom,
I think we know our friend a little bit more than you do.
She's definitely in the club.
Ari is not an active member of Chocolate Club.
I'll prove it.
Peep game. Clue number one:
Too happy.
Ain't nobody smiling during Chocolate Club time.
We only smile when it's over, never before.
Clue number two: heating pad placement.
Went to the forehead, not knowing that the heating pad
should be placed on the stomach
to relax the muscles surrounding the uterus.
Newbie mistake.
And clue number three,
the clincher of all clinchers:
white jeans.
Now, if you don't know why you don't wear white jeans
during Chocolate Club time, you better ask somebody, okay?
I rest my case.
Why would she lie to us?
Well, being in a club means you're a part of a group,
and maybe Ari just didn't want to feel left out.
Make sense?
Mrs. Johnson, you missed your calling.
You would've been a great detective, or a spy.
How do you know I'm not?
(laughs)
Or am I?
Just joking.
I'm sorry, what?
Yes, this is Agent Johnson.
Debbie... Excuse me.
(Paris groans)
Yes, I'm coming in. Coming now.
Whoa. What happened here?
Oh, Madison. Uh, just a little purging.
Wow, you purged a lot.
-(scoffs) Yeah. -What's that?
Uh, it's just a shelf I made.
Sorry it's not a shoe rack,
but just a little something for you to put your stuff in.
Uh, check it out.
Wow.
Thank you.
It's no problem. You're welcome.
Yeah.
So, today's the big date with Theo, right?
Yeah. Planetarium, here we come.
Well, I hope you guys have a really good time.
I know I was hating a little bit,
but I think Theo's a really cool dude.
A little quiet, but cool.
I hope he's the perfect guy for you.
Thanks, London.
Hopefully he is.
Oh, hey, Theo. You ready to go?
(in high-pitched voice) Yeah, let's do this.
I've been waiting for this all week.
What up, bruh?
(in high-pitched voice) What up?
(in normal voice) A lot of things.
Enjoy the planets.
So, you look good.
I like the no-hat look.
Uh...
(Ari clears throat)
So, uh, this won't shuffle my internal organs, will it?
Because I kind of like my kidneys where they're at.
-SIMONE: Wait. Sorry. -PARIS: Don't slam her yet!
We're with her.
-Hey. -What are you guys doing here?
We're here to say that we're sorry.
It took us a minute, but we realized
that you're not in the Chocolate Club.
Actually, my mom is the one who figured it out.
We were too blinded by the chocolate to see the truth.
I'm sorry I lied about being in the Chocolate Club.
I mean, I just wanted to be as close as the two of you.
But, Ari, you are.
Yes, you are, okay? You're our girl.
And just because we're not experiencing
the same thing at the same time, doesn't mean we don't love you.
Because we do.
-Oh, you do? -We do.
And, look, Chocolate Club time or not,
we're getting on the Stomach Slammer together.
So get that fear photo popping and move over!
-Okay. -Stomach Slammer girl,
we're gonna ride up.
-(restraint buckle clicks) -Okay.
(gasps)
You sure you want to do this?
BOTH: Yes! We're sure.
Okay.
(all giggle)
Thanks, guys.
I mean, you really don't know how much this means to me.
I have learned a lot in the past couple months.
One is that every young woman
must travel her own path to womanhood, you know?
Experience the complexities of life in her own way.
Embracing those special moments,
for they only help to define our character.
Also, in life, we must elevate...
(all scream)
(camera shutters click)
(girls laughing)
ARI: Oh, my gosh.
-That was so terrifying. -Mm-hmm.
I can't wait to do it again!
Same here, but just not today.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, today is about
welcoming the newest member of the Chocolate Club.
Ari.
Ari!
-Chocolate Club time. -Chocolate Club time.
Yes.
Oh, don't forget about the eldest.
-Mom? -Yeah?
-Are you a little hot? -Oh, just a little, sweetheart.
Cal?
Did you want the ice pack, the folding fan,
or thinly shaved ice chips?
-All three, please. -You got it.
Oh, thank you.
Your mama's also a member of the Private Summer Club.
I just work there.
You'll all be joining one day.
A little faster, Cal.
I just hope you tip well.
♪ Coming to the barbecue ♪
♪ Promise it gonna be a mood ♪
♪ Holler if you Rolling through ♪
♪ Like I am ♪
♪ Bring the homey Bring the boo ♪
♪ You can bring your mama too ♪
♪ Our love is how we do ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Monday through Friday ♪
♪ Got us like, "meh" ♪
♪ Everybody out the way It's Saturday ♪
♪ All we do is celebrate ♪
♪ We got everything That we need ♪
♪ 'Cause there ain't No other day like Saturday ♪