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Is that coffee?
Yeah.
Hmm.
Is there whiskey in there?
What kind of coffee would it be without a little nip?
Oh, I could kiss you.
Who are we pulling for DeLuca?
Uh, for mules I was thinking Patchouli
and, for Donny, I'm thinking Vaquero.
Can he ride?
He rode in that Repentance movie.
Ten bucks says he used a body double.
- I ain't taking that bet. - What?
You don't wanna chalk that shit up
- to the thousands you already owe me? - You know, come on. Thousands of nothing.
I owe you shit change and a blowjob.
Well, I'll take the blowjob and no
No. Keep the change.
First of all, I know you'd enjoy it too much.
God, I could use a favor right now.
Breeding horses is easy enough.
Mares, they go into heat,
and the studs, they get a whiff.
I swear our stud just winks at a mare and she's knocked up.
Oh, boys will be boys.
Surprised to see, man.
It's gonna be dirty.
I thank you, Lord, for my Clay.
He needs some breaking himself, but...
he's a loyal, hard-working man
and he could really use a win right about now.
I've really only known two kinds of men in my life.
Obviously, my Clay, stubborn, loving,
and funny as all get-out even when he's not trying to be.
The other, whoo, Lord,
he was just...
...off.
You know, the last I heard,
he was in some kind of military halfway house.
That boy, he had something dark inside of him.
When I broke it off,
I found my prize mare stabbed 16 times.
I pray for his soul.
Although, I reckon you can't break a horse
that's already broken.
You're late. We only have five minutes left.
Ah, the alcohol swab.
Some patients are just so pushy.
Okay. Do not with all your cute shit.
I feel the complete opposite of sexy right now.
Okay.
Just hurry up. Come on, get it over with.
- Annie? - What?
Did I ever tell you, you're my dream girl?
No.
You're my dream girl.
Good boy.
You need a hand, Cracker Jack?
No.
Hold on.
How is she?
Good. Good. She's pretty much broke.
No, I meant your human wife, Annie.
Ah.
Poor girl.
Ah-ah.
You've got any bookings?
Why do you care?
I thought I fired your ass.
I figured since hunting season is two weeks out,
you might need some help.
Nope.
We're just holding our dicks.
I think I might have something that can help you.
Yeah?
You're not going to like it.
Remember that movie star guy I took on a day ride?
- Ah, vampire guy. - Yeah, yeah.
- Donny DeLuca. - Yeah, yeah.
He's in town on this production portraying some...
great white hunter.
He reckons himself a method actor.
So he actually drinks blood and bangs virgins.
I would not put it past the man.
This dude wants to hunt,
even put it in for a non-resident tagging.
The problem is the schedule.
The movie starts shooting the same day the season opens.
- So he wants to go out early? - Look, look,
I get you are a stickler for the hunting ethics.
You get that from your old man.
But you and I both know that this ranch
will not survive on Bible verses and goodwill.
Plus it can help you pay for those fertility treatments.
So now I'm supposed to help a famous actor poach game?
It's worth hearing his offer.
What's in it for you?
My standard 15%, maybe 20.
Ah, there it is.
You know that I'm looking out for you, all right.
But this guy is talking big money,
more money than you make in a season.
Your pops is gone.
And you got shit sense for business.
You need somebody looking out for you.
Hmm, love you, dude.
- See you later, man. - Yeah, man.
Come on.
Hey, baby. You ready?
Come on.
Mm, sweet Lord.
- Have a seat, mister. - Yes, ma'am.
What?
Nothing.
Uh-uh.
What is this look on your face?
Just the look of a man in love.
Oh, okay.
Tell me. Come on.
Banjo was talking to me
when I was working with the ponies today.
- I knew I smelled weed. - I didn't.
Anyway...
he was telling me about this famous actor
who wants to pay big money to take him on an elk hunt.
- That's great. Who? - Donny DeLuca.
The guy from Vegan Vampire? I love him.
That's the dumbest name I've ever heard.
- Okay. Yeah. - That guy
wants me to take him out this week.
You mean next week?
No.
Before the season opens?
Big money in it.
Okay, but you're not gonna do it, are you?
Of course, not.
My dad would roll in his grave.
Okay.
Down the hatch.
Bottoms up.
Hey, baby, I just took a test
so I will meet you inside in 20.
Love you.
Okay, baby.
I was running and I had an idea.
Why don't we just take out a loan?
Wouldn't that solve everything?
We can talk about that later. Go get the test.
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Do you remember that old cowboy code
your dad used to make you recite to all the guests?
Yeah, of course.
Let's hear it, in order.
Okay. One, live each day with courage.
Two, take pride in your work.
Three, always finish what you start.
That's it.
You did it.
I can't believe it.
Dream girl.
But hey, look, we... we are not out of the woods yet.
So let's just not get too excited.
Hey, not safe.
- Oh, I'm fine. - You should rest, honey.
No, I'm fine. In fact,
I am gonna go and feed the horses.
And you can hold onto this. I peed on it. Have fun.
Annie...
I'm taking that deal.
- Wait, what? - I gotta.
My grandfather built this place for my father,
and now it's mine.
I'm sure as hell not gonna lose it for our son.
Mm, what if it's a girl?
Boy or girl, this is our home,
and we need that money for their future.
Like how we needed the money for the treatments?
A child's gonna cost a lot more than those treatments.
I know, but I...
I feel like we can still find a way
to save the ranch and also get the money the right way not...
What's right
is protecting you,
protecting this ranch,
and protecting our child.
What would your father say?
Do what has to be done,
number four.
Number four.
I'll think about it.
We'll see.
Is this guy legit?
- What the hell is that? - He's legit. He's legit.
He's got the cash, and that's legit, right?
- I don't know, is it? - Pretty legit to me.
Money makes the world go around.
Legit my ass.
What makes your world go round?
- Where the hell is he? - See...
that thing.
What the hell is that thing?
Is that a giant bumblebee?
I don't know.
What is that sound?
House music.
What kind of house would make that sound?
If this guy tries to suck my blood, the deal's off.
Only if he tries to suck mine first.
Hey.
Wow.
Look at this fucking place.
- Nature, woo! - Oh, yeah.
Oh, get out of here, baby. How you doing?
- Good. Donny, Clay. - Donny DeLuca.
- Nice to meet you. - Likewise.
Absolutely. How was the drive?
It was great. Let's talk business.
Okay.
It's for the money.
- Where's he going? - Come on.
Fuck, yeah, killing it.
That's a fucking break.
So you can handle a weapon?
Yeah. No, I can handle a weapon.
I mean, on a range,
the fake shit, it's movie shit.
I-I-I wanna kill something for real,
in real life, like real men do.
Big Dick...
Big Dick Banjo over here tells me
you're the guy to pop that cherry.
I could lose my business if we got caught.
Look, now, I-I hear you.
Okay, I do. I really do.
But...
in nine days,
I'm supposed to become a legendary hunter.
It has to be authentic.
It has to be raw.
I want people like you guys... to like it.
Now, look, they're gonna interview me about this movie
and they're gonna ask me if I'm a hunter.
If I say no...
well then, I'm just some shmuckula actor,
sucking on the teat of reality,
pretending I'm not just drinking its cosmic milk.
Now look, who do you think is gonna watch this movie?
I-I mean, some LA vegans sucking down soy milk
and bitching about guns? No.
No. This movie's not for them.
This movie is for you, people like you.
This is your story.
Now, whose story is this?
It's ours.
Goddamn fucking right it is.
Now look...
I could do you a little favor.
Just some social media posts
you know, get you more business
than you could ever possibly even imagine.
And not like talking about some cash-poor eco hippies.
I'm talking about real VIPs,
movie money,
right wing, scumbag, hunting money.
If we got caught,
I wouldn't have a place to host those VIPs.
Right, right, right. Now...
50,000.
Another 25,000 if we get a kill.
Whoo!
My business is worth more than 75 grand.
Okay.
$50,000, another $50,000 if,
no, when we get a kill.
And if we don't, you keep the original 50K.
Now, look, I... I totally get your concern
about the long dick of the law, I do.
Fucking pigs, am I right? Am I right, brother?
Preach, brother.
Fuck 'em!
Look, if we get caught...
I'll pay all the legal fees.
And then I'll do a press tour
all about how those suits down in town hall
are trying to destroy some humble rancher
who's just trying to live off the land.
Not to mention, I mean,
it's not really even poaching.
I mean, we're gonna eat this meat, right?
I mean, I plan to only eat that meat
the entire time I do this movie.
What do you say?
Look, look, look, look, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Look, this whole open season thing,
is just a stupid technicality to enrich those forest rangers,
or whoever's in charge
of this fucking murdering animal business, okay?
The elk are gonna fuck.
They're gonna fuck and they're gonna make more elk.
Listen, that's nature, Clay.
You know what else is nature?
Looking out for yourself.
Do we have a deal?
Let me talk it over with the missus.
Man of principle.
See, I like that.
I love that.
Let's do a toast to that.
Listen.
Dear Lord,
we thank you in advance
for guiding Clay toward the right decision.
Preach.
May this elk nourish our bodies.
May its memory nourish our souls.
May those prions that I certainly will eat
leave me with the ability to remember my lines.
Yeah.
Annie?
Annie.
Are you okay?
No.
What's wrong?
I have a really bad feeling about all this.
- About the trip? - Hmm-mm.
Okay.
He offered $100,000 tonight but...
I don't care what he offered you.
When have you ever...
been someone to believe that just
because it's convenient that it's right?
I mean...
God has a plan for us. You know he does.
God's plan has us with two years of in vitro
and thousands of dollars in debt.
Yeah, I know.
I know what I put my body through every day
so that I can have a family with you.
That I would like to be part of this decision.
No, you do.
You are part of this decision.
Am I?
We could take out some more loans
and we would cripple ourselves with debt.
We'd be putting ourselves into a deeper, darker hole.
This is the one shining light.
You don't trust God's plan for us?
I don't.
I'm sorry, Annie.
But my father was so damn self-righteous,
he could barely keep this together
by the skin of his teeth.
And now it's mine.
I'm not going to just let it go by the wayside.
And I'm doing it for you.
And I'm doing it for our child.
"Ill-gotten treasures have no lasting value.
Righteousness rescues people from death."
I'm taking the deal.
And you have to make me feel okay about it.
Please, make me feel okay about it, Clay.
I've got... I've got to take this deal.
- I know. - Okay.
Dear Lord...
just... please protect Clay
and Banjo, and Donny.
On this journey, please keep them safe.
Please keep them safe and out of harm's way
and bring him back to me and his baby girl
because it's gonna be a girl, whether he likes it or not.
Amen.
Hey, I just wanted to tell you that I'm
sorry that your benefits didn't go through, you know, and...
But I, I think it's going to be great for you
to be back out on your feet again,
and I think you're ready.
Um, it was a pleasure working with you.
Thanks for your service.
Oh, hold on there, Gunner. I was actually...
able to wrangle up something from the VA.
Yeah.
His name's Barnaby.
Here, you go.
Um, I think you guys are gonna be the best of friends.
He's good at digging holes too.
Yeah.
It's very important, squad,
to remember to cover your eardrum
when you go in the water.
And that's how it's done.
As a game warden,
you never know what kind of conditions
you're gonna be faced with.
Whether it be getting from one boat to another,
responding to a flood situation,
or say a poacher resists a ticket
and you get in a scuffle, you fall in,
what would you do?
What would you do?
Go for the eyes?
Just keep treading, sir.
Thank you.
I know from personal experience.
Now, I'm sure you'd like to
be wearing your swimmies right now,
your bikinis or even your Speedo, Jeremy,
but we don't have that luxury
when we're out in the wild wearing our uniforms
weighing us down with 20 pounds of gear.
So, remember, squad,
before we hop in,
just keep on treading.
Thank you.
Thank you, Trish.
Trish, thanks.
- Trish! - Oh, yes sir, warden sir.
As I live and breathe.
Hey, squad, may I introduce you...
may I introduce...
my brother, Lieutenant Corporal Gunner Walsham,
coming straight back from, uh,
straight back from Afghanistan.
Thank you for your service, sir to...
Hey, can I talk to you real quick?
Gunner doesn't really like being touched.
He's been held in the military psych unit for some imbalances.
Is he dangerous?
What do you think? He was in the Special Forces.
Ah, I mean, is he stable?
You know, it's none of your business, rookie.
Okay, that's my brother you're talking about.
So enough chit-chat, let's get in that water.
Hey, Gun.
Back in the old room.
They let you go, so...
you're probably better now, right?
Did you get my letters?
Can I turn this up?
Sorry.
Whatever happened to you two?
Thought you're gonna propose.
You don't have to talk about it.
Just let me know,
I'm here to listen when you do.
Tell you what there, I got you a present from me and Mom.
- Hey, Mom. - What?
, Gunner's present.
Oh, my sweet baby, thank you.
Oh.
- Present. - Okay.
Do you still play?
Remember, when we used to lead the worship band?
Hey, it stinks I have to work tomorrow, but...
you can totally come with,
tracking down a sick mama black bear,
and you could use your tracking skills.
It's no tracking down Osama bin Laden,
but it should be pretty cool.
Pack trip?
Don't you mess with me.
Thanks.
Hey there, stud.
Sorry, lady.
I'll be out of your hair
before your, uh, husband gets home.
Oh, see, it's Tuesday night.
My husband, he works a double on Tuesday nights.
So he won't be home for a very, very long time.
Is that so?
We're definitely gonna keep this light.
No tents. We'll use the tarps as a lean-to.
If we get an elk, I want the room to hide that shit.
Come here. Hey, come here.
- Are the ponies all right? - Yeah, they'll be all right.
Buck's gonna get him good.
I hope he does.
What did you do?
I just want a selfie, come here.
Oh, that's a boy. That's a boy.
I think you might be one of the first victims
of his that's outside of the blood line.
Buck doesn't want to play with me.
You smell like a city boy.
It's probably for the best, he drinks his own piss.
- How's your hand smell? - I smell okay.
- Yeah? - I got a photo.
Look at this, bro.
- Hey, Don. - You disgusting animal.
Do me a favor.
Let's not post anything on social media
until we're in the clear, all right?
Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah.
- Copy that, copy that. - Cool.
Okay. So what... what do we got here?
What is all this shit?
Well, this shotgun is the bear gun.
Banjo and I both have 357s.
Now, right here. That's your elk gun.
Oh yeah. Rest in peace, elk.
All right. Okay.
So what's that...
what's that mule for? Is that just to carry our shit?
Exactly. And that bay right there,
that's your horse, Vaquero.
- Vaquero? - Yeah.
- It's an awesome name. - He's a good horse
but he needs some directions,
so make sure you keep attentive on him.
Hear that, Vaquero?
Practicing consent on this trip.
How well do you ride?
Uh, you know, I pretty solid.
I only done it in a couple movies.
So, you know, okay.
You know, feel free to shout out any pointers.
Will do.
Alrighty. Let's saddle up.
I'll bring out your saddle, Donny.
Thank you.
Hey, Vaquero.
Practicing consent on this trip, Vaquero.
Hey, baby.
Wow... Fucking nature.
Wait, wait, wait. Please don't leave yet.
I have a little something for you.
I feel like you can't go on a pack trip without these.
Oh, you're an angel.
You guys ready to go?
Yeah. I think we're set.
You're an angel.
- Here you go. - Thank you, honey.
- You're all set? - Yeah.
- Be careful. - We will.
- Love you. - All right.
- Love you. - Love you.
- Guys, here's your sammies. - Hi, Banjo.
- Hey, beautiful. - How are you? I missed you.
- Haven't seen you in a while. - Yeah.
- Who's this? - Except for this one.
Hi.
- Donny DeLuca. - Annie.
- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
I just have to tell you that I really love your movies.
- Thank you. - Okay, okay.
I'm sorry, I had to tell him.
- I love you, honey. - Banjo,
you take care of my man, please?
Will do. Will do.
I'm just gonna be fine.
I know, just promise me you'll be careful.
I will.
- Please. - I will.
We'll be back before you know it.
You're my dream girl.
- I love you. - I love you more.
Across the water?
- No. I'm not here. - Cross the water.
- Be careful. - We will.
Let's go.
Come on.
No. Get...
No.
Gunner.
No, Gunner!
No, I can't.
The hell is wrong with you?
No. No way.
Gunner, get off of me.
It's a little early for Clay to go out hunting.
- Donny. - Yeah?
- You hungry? - Not yet, no.
I'm going to wait till we're in deeper.
Wow, look at this.
Still your land? This is incredible.
We passed that a while ago. We're in public land.
Okay.
You've got a little...
Shoot.
Yes, it's dry up here.
Mmm-hmm.
Oh, man.
So, uh...
what are the rules out here, you know, what do I...
what do I got to know to not get eaten by a bear?
Bears, do you know the difference
between a black bear and a grizzly?
The color?
Black bear, you climb up a tree,
he's going to chase you up that tree, then he'll eat you.
A grizzly, he'll just knock the tree down and eat you.
You only really need to worry about black bears.
They've been known to steal your wallet.
You know what, no, it's really the white bears
you gotta worry about, because they steal your 401k,
they blame it on the black bears,
creates a whole history of problems.
Fucking psychological warfare bullshit.
You guys have got a funny way of talking to each other.
Just how we say we love each other.
Hey, mind if I did some practice?
Whoa!
- That's a negative. - I'm sorry, man.
Hey, sorry about that.
Gunshots scare animals, Donny,
they also alert the law of our presence.
Look, here's the deal.
We get caught...
we're just out here helping you build your character.
Yeah. We'll distract him.
Make him want to suck your dick.
Oh, come on.
No Deliverance shit out here.
Oh, Donny, this is Wyoming.
In Wyoming men are men,
and the sheep are nervous.
Ah, 'cause you fuck sheep!
Sheep fuckers.
This one is.
In all seriousness, Donny,
if we get a kill, just stick to the story.
- Yeah. - We're out here,
- building your character. - Yeah. When we come back,
it's going to be right at the season opening,
so there's gonna be a lot of people out,
- including game wardens. - Yeah.
Valley are preparing to hunt.
All right.
Now, worst-case scenario,
you know, what happens if we get caught?
It's like a $10,000 fine.
That's it?
I mean, with the 50 grand that you gave him in cash,
it makes it a felony, that's...
that's gonna be potential jail time.
They're not going to find the cash.
I mean, if we do get caught,
they'll strip me of my outfitter's license.
I'm the one doing the jail time.
Don't worry about that.
Okay, look, don't worry, all right?
Run into a game warden,
I'll cover us.
- Here's your sandwich. - Well, you just
keep your eyes peeled for them, all right?
They wear red shirts.
Sheesh.
We haven't been out packing together
since we were in high school.
I made you boys a chicken pot pie to take with you.
Mom, how am I gonna pack that?
Tupperware?
Mom, we're only taking two horses.
We gotta carry this stuff.
A freezer bag then.
So, I know I'm technically working out there,
but I plan on making a real good time of it.
I'm bringing games, sing-along songs for the fire,
maybe even a flask.
Here.
Mom, what is this?
- Tempest. - The cat?
I want you to bury her out in the wild with your brother.
I was waiting for the best time to do it.
She was the best cat.
I know the perfect place to bury it.
Oh...
Thank you.
I'm going to bed, Bill.
Okay.
Thank you.
Goodnight.
She thinks I'm Dad sometimes, and...
and I don't have the heart to tell her.
Well, shall we?
Come on, Tempest.
And I was like, yeah.
I know Jared was telling me last week that he
he saw a couple.
Come on. Open up.
- Hey, let's go. - Open up.
Put it down right in the back.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, Donny?
- Donny? - What?
If you want her to go,
- you're gonna kiss at her. - Okay.
You know, and then give her a wallop,
- you know, a good wallop. - Oh, shit.
Go, go, go, go, go.
Hiyah! Hiyah!
Hey!
Ah, goddammit.
- Pull her head up. - Fuck!
Whoa, there you go. Pull back.
Motherfucking crazy motherfucker.
All right! Are my balls supposed to be such a mess?
Oh, they'll be like meatloaf later.
And if you're feeling fancy,
you can do something like this.
All right?
Hey!
Oh, come on.
- You show off! - Hey!
- Just doing my civil duty. - Yeah.
That's why Banjo says you're the guy.
Hey, Banjo, you see that?
- All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You see me?
- You see me, Banjo? - You good? You good?
- Yeah? - All right, just as long
as that check doesn't bounce.
All right. I'm ready to get going.
- Let's go. - Look at this mule.
Let's get started.
Oh yeah, grab the mule. I'll follow, Donny.
All right, Donny, you're doing really good.
Keep it up.
Might make a cowboy out of you yet.
Hey, Donny...
come over here. I want to show you how to put on
a hobble for your horse.
So, this is a hobble.
- Yeah. - It's basically
- a handcuff for the horse. - Okay.
It let's them graze, eat around,
but not wander off too far.
All right? So, you come down here...
you loop it around one leg like this.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, it's a little bit scary.
For sure.
First their legs get... come on, girl.
There you go. Yeah, don't be scared.
It's okay. Who's a good girl?
Ho there, pony.
And there you have it.
Ah.
Okay, there you go.
All right. Take off your saddle,
and bring the pads over to the lean-to,
'cause that's what you're sleeping on tonight. Okay?
All right. Okay.
Hey, I am gonna go fill up my water.
You want some?
Oh, no, I don't really drink much water.
- Why? - I don't know, I don't like it?
- That's weird. - Yeah.
I just drink mostly, uh, club soda on set.
- Hey. - That's good.
Beans and weans. Get 'em while it's hot. Come on.
Yeah. Yeah. One second.
- There was actually a... - an imaginary ,
um, and I just-I.
Oh, hold up there, Gunner.
Got a wounded bird.
Get my first aid kit.
We get...
Oh...
Just a minute too late.
I guess this is a good spot for the burial.
What do you think?
Yeah.
Yes.
Tempest...
You were Mom's favorite cat.
I had no idea Mom was even a Shakespeare fan
until she named you.
Every time I passed you in the house,
you would constantly hiss at me.
But I knew those hisses came from a place of love.
Thanks for sharing all your nine lives
with the Walsham family.
And to the bird I never met,
you seemed really chill,
and we could have been friends.
Anything to add, Gunner?
Rest in peace, Tempest...
And bird.
Sorry, I get emotional around death.
Ah, man.
Fuckin' horse.
- Hey, good morning. - Hey, good morning.
Vaquero ran off.
God, damn it.
Yeah, and Donny left a saddle on him.
He's a good guy, he's just got a coke problem.
Yeah, I don't know anybody with a coke solution.
It's my fault.
I should have unsaddled him,
All right.
I'm gonna go do a lap.
Alright. I'll put the coffee on.
Okay.
You'll need this.
Come on, bud.
You know, Donny, I make that coffee
damn strong and it won't rot your nose off.
Yeah well, coffee stains the teeth, you know?
Ain't that right.
So where did Clay just go?
Your horse took off.
What?
I thought that's what those hobbles were for.
Yeah, well the horses,
sometimes they get spooked and they run off.
Alright.
Found his tracks.
He's way the hell up there.
Donny, you ready for a little recon adventure?
- Yeah, sure. - All right.
It's really tight up there, so we'll leave the ponies.
Hi, pony.
I've lost it.
How in the hell could he have gotten this far?
Because he's a half a Mustang twat pocket.
Well, I think that it is time for some mezcal.
Ooh. Yes, it is.
Uh-huh.
Hoo-whee!
That'll put lead in your goddamn pencil.
Oh my God, that's fucking strong.
Do you want a pull?
Yeah, why not?
Yeah, you do.
Whoo!
Shit.
You all right?
- Yep. - Look, if...
if we don't find that horse
we'll have to take turns walking.
No. No, we...
we are gonna have to head back tomorrow if
we gonna make it in time for his movie.
I don't know...
Oh, will you all just calm down okay?
We're gonna find that elk, I can feel it in my gut.
Donny, you is high.
Hey.
- Yeah. - Hoi.
Did you hear that?
No.
- I heard it, I heard it. - Get down, get down.
- What? What? - Shut the fuck up Donny.
I think I heard a snipe.
- What the fuck is a snipe? - Shut up.
All right. We'll just...
- We're gonna have to catch it. - All right.
- Okay. - Oh, my God.
Okay. Donny...
There's a little cabin right on the other side
of that ridge, if you...
if you hear any noises,
you run and you do not turn back.
All right? You get in there,
no matter what sounds you hear, do not come out.
What the fuck, is this thing dangerous?
Shut the fuck up Donny.
- Let's go get it. - All right, man.
- All right. - I love you, brother.
I love you too. Donny.
All right, go.
Tell my mother I love her, Donny.
What the fuck.
- Run, Donny! - Fuck, what... what the fuck?!
Run!
Tell my story!
He got my liver, Donny! I can't...
Oh, my back!
save yourself!
Tell my mother I love her, Donny.
Oh, it's coming!
Oh, Donny!
Donny, help me!
Donny stay in there, don't get out.
We got you good.
- That was great. - It was good,
you got him good.
- Fuck you. - Oh, yeah.
So what is this place?
This is an old tie hack cabin.
Fuck is a tie hack?
Tie hackers were mostly Swedish and Norwegian
hired to come and
cut railroad ties and then ship 'em
down the river to the flatlands.
Fucking Swedes?
Yeah.
With axes.
That sounds dangerous.
You know...
you know, I don't really need an elk.
I... I really don't. You know, I...
I just appreciate you guys taking me on this adventure.
Oh come on, quit getting sentimental.
Plus I want my other 50.
No, no, I mean it.
You know, it's...
it's hard to make genuine friends,
you know, in my work. It's...
I go from one job to another job,
one set to another set.
Movie to movie, I don't actually ever really...
know anyone. I just sort of meet them, then I'm gone,
meet them and I'm gone. And then people come up to me,
they don't even introduce themselves.
There's no... you... you don't know them.
I... I don't know anything about them, it's just, you know,
fuck.
You've got shitty friends.
I'm being sincere. I am...
I mean, it's been a long time since anyone
has legit fucked with me.
Like what real friends do, you know?
Even my family, they tell me,
you gotta take a break from acting.
You got to go to a rehab, I mean, what the fuck is that?
What the fuck?
Give me back the money, you know,
for paying for your kids' college.
Alright?
Alright. How about you give me back the cars I got you.
The Victorian, right?
Fuck.
You know, it just... It sucks being famous.
I mean, I'll be your friend for a Victorian.
You're all right, Donny.
Yeah.
Thanks, guys.
Just putting him out. Don't be afraid.
No, no, no, no, no, no. Look, you... you put it...
put it at the top of the ridge.
You put your tongue right up against it
and you blow, lightly.
No, dude.
Come on, men.
Nice!
It's close.
That's a good one.
What?
No, they don't fucking sound like that.
- Yeah. - It's a bird.
Is that really what they sound like?
That is what they sound like.
Donny, get your shit.
- What's that sound again? - Shut the fuck up, Donny.
Oh, boy.
- All right. He's 104 yards out, - Uh-huh.
All right, poke him right behind the shoulder.
This is textbook.
- Hoo, I got her. - Hold on, he's run out.
He's run out. He's in the trees.
We're going to go down there and blood drip.
Atta-boy. Come on.
Fucking got him.
Oh...
Yeah. I got it.
- Thank God. - Yeah.
All right.
Well, let's find it. Okay. How far could it have gone, right?
Just depends on where you hit him, I mean...
It can go for miles, dude.
This isn't a lot of blood. I'm not...
I'm not sure that we're going to find this thing.
No, no, no, no, no. We're gonna...
we're gonna get my bull.
- Yeah. - We're gonna get 'em,
or we're gonna get me another one. Okay?
Well, it doesn't really work like that.
But let's go break down camp...
Whoa, whoa, why don't we do that thing?
You called it... you call.
Like, call it with the... the thing.
Yeah, yeah, I know. It's not gonna come in.
You just shot it.
All right.
It's all right. We'll get your elk.
Yeah. This isn't a grocery store, Donny.
Yeah, that's why it's called hunting.
Good boy. Who's a good boy?
Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?
There it is.
Good boy. Good boy.
Good boy. Hey, Gunner, look,
I got a smile.
You probably didn't get my letters.
You know, I...
I know I'm not the coolest little brother.
When Dad left, I thought I had to be a good example,
but wasn't really good at sports or
with the ladies or...
with anything, really.
When you enlisted, I...
I thought you just enlisted to get away from me.
I didn't know you were manic depressive back then, so...
Now I know you were just...
setting an example for me.
Being a man and...
taking responsibility.
That's why I became a game warden.
To make you proud of me.
I'm glad you came.
I think I see some people over there.
Oh.
It's Clay Wilson and Banjo.
Remember Clay Wilson from high school?
Wanna come say hi?
Come on. Let's go.
All right. Hold these.
Donny, you're walking.
I've been walking.
Walk some more.
Huh.
- Hey. - What?
Clay?
Game warden. Twelve o'clock.
Fuck.
Donny, hide the gun.
Let me do the talking. All right?
I know this guy from high school, he's a pushover.
Shit.
Fuck.
Howdy-ho.
Hey, Galen.
Saw a couple handsome men packing up,
and I was like, hey, is that Clay Wilson
from Three Spear, I should say what's up.
What are you doing all the way out here?
You mean my office?
- How's Enny? - Peachy.
We actually gotta get back to her
Hey Banjo, long time.
- How are you doing? - You know,
I'm, uh, I'm feeling a little bit sick.
Must be some... something that happened
but we should probably get headed home
before it gets too dark, man.
I got a Tums in my camp if you want.
Okay.
I get it.
What are you guys doing out this deep?
Just doing an old pack trip with the buddies.
We better get going, though. Like Banjo said,
he's not feeling too hot.
Gotta watch that spring water in Blitsburg Meadows.
- Yeah. Believe me. - I always use tablets,
always, even tap sometimes.
Ah, well if I had only been as smart as you, Galen, right?
You have a good one. All right?
- See you. - Holy smokes.
Wait a minute.
Donny DeLuca?
Are you kidding me?
- Clay, you know him? - Oh, yeah.
- Hey, nice to meet you. - Galen.
I'm literally one of your biggest fans.
Me and my mom have seen all your films.
From Team Dracula to Vegan Vampire.
That was a good one. Oh, man, I just love vampires.
Mom always said it was so weird
because they're horny all the time,
but they have no blood flow to their privates.
All right.
Thank you, Galen. We're gotta get going.
- All right. - See you Galen.
Can I just get a quick picture with you?
Of course. Yes.
Now, watch out for Petrulia.
Okay, let's get one like you're biting my neck. Okay?
Okay.
All right, Galen.
Nice to meet you. Give your mom a kiss for me.
I will do more than that.
I can now die a happy man.
Just hopefully not too soon.
I tell you what, if you ever need anybody, I mean,
anything at all, like extras, I'll fly out for free.
You got it. If we need a forest cop, I'll let you know.
- Okay. - Okay, Galen.
Adiós. See you.
Watch out... watch out, Galen.
- Okay. - Hand me that mule.
Let's get out of here.
Whoa, whoa.
- You got everything? - Yeah. Yeah, go. Go.
- Go. - Hey, Donny. Why don't
you bite my neck? Maybe just kiss it.
Shit.
Fuck.
Maybe we should head back.
What? Are you tired?
I... I could really use that 50 grand.
Even with Deputy Galen, Game Warden, out here?
Don't say anything, but, uh...
Annie's pregnant.
- What?! - Sh-shut up. Shut up.
- We wanna keep it under wraps. - Okay.
Oh, attaboy, attaboy.
So if... if we find this bull,
I'll throw some extra cash in your pocket.
Ye-yeah, giddy-up, man.
Yeah, you want scratches.
Hey, Donny.
You regretting those little bumps?
No, it's the altitude.
- Okay, I... - You all right?
Give me a turn on the horse.
Oh, fuck!
Fuck. Oh, fuck. Fuck.
- Donny? - Oh, shit.
My fucking ankle.
Donny, are you all right?
Goddamnit.
- Oh, shit. - Goddamnit.
Oh. Oh... Ho.
Are you all right?
No, I'm not all right. Ow!
Shit. Oh.
I think broke my ankle.
I think I broke my ankle.
This is your fault.
This is your fault. I was supposed to be on a horse.
You gave me that crazy-ass fucking vaquero.
Hey.
I'm supposed to be filming in four days.
They're going to have to recast me.
- Oh, shit. - Just calm down, Donny.
- Calm down, all right? Come on. - No, fucking shit.
Fuck you. I'm not paying you shit.
You were supposed to keep me safe.
Oh, fuck.
What did you fucking say?
This is bullshit.
I'm not paying you shit.
A deal's a deal, Donny.
You don't pay me, we leave your ass here and you get eaten.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, Clay, not helping, not helping.
Hey, Donny. Look...
look, we're gonna get you back up on a horse.
You are gonna ride the whole way back, okay? I promise.
- Come on. - A deal's a deal, Don.
- Fuck you. - Jesus.
All right. Enough... enough. Look, a deal is a deal.
Clay and I, we're gonna go find your elk, okay?
We're getting you back up on this horse,
we're riding back to camp.
I saw it go through the willows, okay?
We can follow it in there.
- Great. - Come on.
- Fucking help me. - Put your arm around me, buddy.
Clay, we are not leaving him.
Oh, come on.
Donny, get up.
No, I can't.
I can't. I'm taking a break.
All right. We'll go find your damn elk.
Wa-wa-wa-wait. Wait.
What about the bears?
You're just gonna leave me here?
If that little shit doesn't pay me
after he's maimed an elk, I'll kill him.
Look, Clay, I'm... I'm really sorry about this.
I thought it was gonna be a cakewalk.
Hey, it's not your fault.
Oh.
- Oh, yeah. - You got something?
Yeah, check it out.
Nice.
Clay!
Banjo!
Shit.
Howdy, neighbor.
Go, go.
Oh, fuck. Oh, shit.
Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.
What the fuck?
Clay! Clay!
What the fuck was that shot?
Oh, shit.
This is fucked.
We need to call for help.
He is the help, Donny.
Come put pressure on this.
I got it. I got it.
- It was not my fault. - All right.
He came running out of the fucking bushes.
I forgive you, Donny.
All right. We're gonna get him up all the mule
and we're going to take him directly to the hospital.
Wa-wa-wa-wait.
"Donny DeLuca comes riding into town
with a dead forest cop,"
is a great fucking headline.
There are a lot bigger problems than your fucking movie, Donny.
Oh, shit!
Come on, buddy.
Come on, boy. Let's do it. Come on.
- Banjo, you all right? - Fuck, no. What hell, man?
I don't know what the fuck that was.
Donny, kill your fucking light.
Sorry.
- Where's the mule? - I left that shit.
- Fuck. - Who the fuck was that?
That was Gunner.
Stop and recover? We got this...
redneck psycho after us, fuck.
Yeah, well, we've been walking all night, Donny.
Yeah, cause it's your fault.
You shot his brother.
He's still a psycho.
He probably has some PTSD, man.
- He was in Special Forces. - It wasn't the war.
Dude is clinically fucked, always has been.
Annie went to prom with him because she felt sorry for him.
Afterwards he fell in love with her, started stalking her.
He's a fucking weirdo!
So this is your bitch of a wife's fault?
Where was that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, shit.
- Donnie, hold it. - Donny.
Hold the pressure, come on.
God damnit!
He's a goner.
No, no, we can't just leave him, man.
- What about him? - Come on, let's go.
Did he shoot the horses?
Keep moving.
This guy is a lunatic, Clay.
Yeah, he's not gonna quit till we dead.
- Be ready. - I'm ready!
He got you?
- Oh. - Fuck.
- You alright? - No, man he got me.
How bad?
It's bad, motherfucker.
- Clay. Come on. - What?
You gotta run. You gotta run!
No.
Where do you think he's heading next, huh?
I'm not leaving you, Banjo.
Think of that family.
Fuck, Banjo.
Go. Clay, go.
All right.
Come on.
Oh. Oh.
No. Shit.
Shit.
Oh, my God... oh, my God.
Whoa. Whoa there. Whoa, good girl.
Whoa now, whoa now.
Hey, whoa, whoa.
Good girl. Hey... that's my good girl.
Oh, my God. Turn around.
Good girl. Oh, my God.
All right. There's a good girl.
Hey, whoa now, baby.
What you doing? You all right? Good girl.
We're gonna run like hell now. You ready?
Come on.
Whoa.
Ah!
Ya.
- Clay! - Annie?
- Hi honey. Hi. - Annie?
Hi, hi, hi. Hi, baby, are you okay?
- Annie. Oh. - Come on.
- Hi. - Annie.
Oh, babe. Are you okay? What...
- Oh, yeah, he got me. - Gee.
I'm sorry. You were right.
No, no, I just asked you to come home to me.
Did I ever tell you you were dream girl?
- No. - Oh.
You're my dream girl.
Hey Clay...
Do you remember number three?
Mm.
Okay.
"Always finish what you started."