1 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:54,055 Tonight's program takes us backstage 2 00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:57,600 to witness firsthand the creation, start to finish, 3 00:00:57,725 --> 00:01:00,927 of a new play mounted on the American stage. 4 00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:04,732 Asteroid city does not exist. 5 00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:06,484 It is an imaginary drama 6 00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:09,445 created expressly for this broadcast. 7 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:13,366 The characters are fictional, the text hypothetical, 8 00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:16,035 the events an apocryphal fabrication, 9 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:19,080 but together they present an authentic account 10 00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:22,792 of the inner workings of a modern theatrical production. 11 00:01:22,917 --> 00:01:26,170 Our story begins, of course, with an ink ribbon. 12 00:01:26,796 --> 00:01:30,800 Conrad Earp, playwright, native of upper Wyoming, 13 00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:33,928 well-known for his romantic poetic tapestries 14 00:01:34,053 --> 00:01:36,597 of life west of the Rocky Mountains. 15 00:01:41,686 --> 00:01:44,021 There is little amusement to be had, however, 16 00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:46,065 in watching a man type. 17 00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:49,485 Skip ahead, then, past the lonely, agonized months 18 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:52,822 of composing, revising, polishing, editing, rewriting, 19 00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:56,325 cutting, pasting, pacing, doodling, and solitary drinking, 20 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,869 and join our company as they take the stage 21 00:01:58,995 --> 00:02:01,038 for their first read-through rehearsal. 22 00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:03,124 Location, the Tarkington Theater, 23 00:02:03,249 --> 00:02:06,127 345 South Northwest Avenue. 24 00:02:09,505 --> 00:02:11,424 Curtain rises on a desert bus stop 25 00:02:11,549 --> 00:02:14,552 halfway between parched gulch and arid plains. 26 00:02:14,677 --> 00:02:16,679 Main scenography includes 27 00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:18,806 a 12-stool luncheonette, 28 00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:20,766 a one-pump filling station, 29 00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:23,519 and a ten-cabin motor court hotel. 30 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,187 Upstage left, 31 00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:26,856 The Tomahawk Mountains. 32 00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:29,400 Highest peak, 11,000 feet. 33 00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:32,445 Upstage right, an unfinished highway overpass 34 00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:34,697 which vaults up 20 feet, then chops off midair 35 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,741 behind a permanent roadblock. 36 00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:38,951 Center front, an impact crater 37 00:02:39,035 --> 00:02:40,703 one hundred feet in depth and diameter 38 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:44,415 encircled by a low little league variety chain-link fence. 39 00:02:46,125 --> 00:02:49,170 Offstage, distant, a 650-car freight train 40 00:02:49,295 --> 00:02:51,672 which click-clacks by at five miles an hour. 41 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,467 Note to chief electrician, 42 00:02:54,592 --> 00:02:57,386 the light of the desert sun is neither warm nor cool 43 00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,221 but always clean 44 00:03:00,139 --> 00:03:02,475 and, above all, unforgiving. 45 00:03:03,059 --> 00:03:05,394 Cast, Augie Steenbeck, 46 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,813 war photographer, early 40s. 47 00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:10,900 His son Woodrow, 14, also known as Brainiac. 48 00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:14,945 Midge Campbell, late 30s, film actress. 49 00:03:15,071 --> 00:03:17,239 Her daughter Dinah, 15. 50 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,867 June Douglas, schoolteacher. 51 00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:22,661 Ranch hand Montana, above. 52 00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:24,955 Grif Gibson, five-star general. 53 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,793 Sandy Borden, Roger Cho, J.J. Kellogg. 54 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,879 Clifford, Ricky, Shelly. 55 00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:35,925 Stanley zak, 65, retired. 56 00:03:37,093 --> 00:03:40,679 The action of the play takes place in September of 1955. 57 00:03:40,805 --> 00:03:43,933 Act one, Friday morning, 7:00 A.M. 58 00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:46,435 Act two, the next day. 59 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,021 Act three, one week later. 60 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:56,862 Last train to San Fernando 61 00:03:56,946 --> 00:04:00,741 last train to San Fernando 62 00:04:00,825 --> 00:04:04,995 if you miss this one you'll never get another one 63 00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:08,416 Bee-Dee-Dee-Dee-Bom-Bom to San Fernando 64 00:04:08,541 --> 00:04:10,209 last night I met my sweet Dorothy 65 00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:12,253 she said, "tomorrow I join in sweet matrimony" 66 00:04:12,378 --> 00:04:14,255 but if you act all right 67 00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:16,215 oh, you can take me out tonight 68 00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:18,092 we can wine and dine and get back in time 69 00:04:18,217 --> 00:04:21,554 for the last train to San Fernando 70 00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:25,641 last train to San Fernando 71 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:29,353 last train to San Fernando 72 00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:33,482 if you miss this one you'll never get another one 73 00:04:33,566 --> 00:04:37,611 Bee-Dee-Dee-Dee-Bom-Bom to San Fernando 74 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,133 It's a dead snake. 75 00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:06,093 Flat snake. 76 00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:09,054 Poke him in the head with this stick. 77 00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:13,434 I wander the streets 78 00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:18,897 And the gay crowded places... 79 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,859 Five orders of flapjacks and a black coffee. 80 00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:26,071 But somehow it seems 81 00:07:26,155 --> 00:07:29,408 that my thoughts ever stray 82 00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:31,076 to our last... 83 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,244 Who needs to pee? 84 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:33,787 Nobody needs to pee. I don't. 85 00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:35,581 Our average speed is 83 feet per second. 86 00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:37,958 Poor fuel efficiency due to excess wind resistance. 87 00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:39,251 Probably the luggage rack. 88 00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,462 Based on data before the loss of power, obviously. 89 00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:43,672 High in the sky... 90 00:07:43,756 --> 00:07:45,591 What do you little princesses want to drink? 91 00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:47,276 Oh, we're not princesses. I'm a vampire. 92 00:07:47,343 --> 00:07:49,063 I'm a mummy in Egypt who got buried alive... 93 00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:50,989 I suck people's blood. ...And came back to life 94 00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:53,098 with its head chopped off. I'm a fairy. 95 00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:57,436 How about a glass of strawberry milk? 96 00:08:00,064 --> 00:08:01,482 What was that? 97 00:08:01,607 --> 00:08:03,484 Another atom Bomb test. 98 00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:22,127 I've seen this combination of symptoms twice before 99 00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:24,463 in the '52 estate model. 100 00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:28,550 In one case, it was a quick fix of a 75-cent part. 101 00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:30,678 In the other case, it was a difficult, costly, 102 00:08:30,803 --> 00:08:33,514 time-consuming disassembly and re-mantling 103 00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:35,140 of the entire drive train 104 00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,267 and lubrication mechanism, which didn't work. 105 00:08:37,393 --> 00:08:38,977 The motor exploded itself, 106 00:08:39,103 --> 00:08:41,105 and the body was stripped and sold for scrap. 107 00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:42,731 There it is. 108 00:08:50,114 --> 00:08:51,532 Well, which one have we got? 109 00:08:51,657 --> 00:08:53,325 We're about to find out. 110 00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:27,359 You got the first one. 111 00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:28,944 How much do I owe you? Nothing. 112 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,428 Ten dollars for the tow. 113 00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:37,327 What's that? Wh-what's that? 114 00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:39,580 I don't know. 115 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,594 I think you've got a third problem 116 00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:55,596 we've never seen before. 117 00:10:02,948 --> 00:10:03,771 Zak residence. 118 00:10:03,896 --> 00:10:05,481 Romulus, this is Augie Steenbeck. 119 00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:07,357 Good morning, Mr. Augie. The gate is open. 120 00:10:07,483 --> 00:10:09,318 No, we're not there. You're not here? 121 00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:11,779 May I speak to Mr. Zak? Yes, Mr. Augie. 122 00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:29,671 You're not here? We're not there. 123 00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:31,632 The car exploded. Come get the girls. 124 00:10:31,757 --> 00:10:33,217 The car exploded? 125 00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:35,803 Parts of the car exploded itself, yes. 126 00:10:35,928 --> 00:10:37,648 Come get the girls. I'm not their chauffeur. 127 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:38,972 I'm their grandfather. 128 00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:41,225 - Where are you? - Asteroid City. 129 00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:43,227 Farm route six, mile 75. Come get the girls. 130 00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:44,728 I have to stay here with Woodrow. 131 00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:46,104 What are you talking about? 132 00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:47,981 The thing for Woodrow. We're there. 133 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,032 Hello? How'd they take it? 134 00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,579 They didn't. 135 00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:03,789 No? 136 00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:05,165 No. 137 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:07,370 You didn't tell them still? I still didn't tell them. 138 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:09,253 You promised. I know. 139 00:11:11,255 --> 00:11:13,048 The time is never right. 140 00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,300 The time 141 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,886 is always wrong. 142 00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:28,605 Are you okay? 143 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,482 No. 144 00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:36,572 You never liked me, did you? 145 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,950 I never loved you. I always thought that you... 146 00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:41,636 You always thought I wasn't good enough for her. 147 00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:42,940 Yes. We're saying the same thing. 148 00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:47,332 Gas up the Cadillac. Okay. 149 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:48,709 Tell the kids. I will. 150 00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,711 I'll be there when I get there. 151 00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:05,601 It's the end of that car. 152 00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:07,566 Andromeda, check under the floor mats. Come on. 153 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,271 Pandora, check the side pockets. 154 00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,236 Cassiopeia, check the cracks between the seats. 155 00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:13,233 Take everything. What do you think, Woodrow? 156 00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:14,860 I think it's kind of sad. 157 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:14,503 Rest stop, 13 minutes. 158 00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:20,926 - Head count. - One. 159 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:22,344 Two. Three. Four. 160 00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:23,679 Five. Six. Seven. Eight. 161 00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,263 Nine. Ten. All present. 162 00:13:25,389 --> 00:13:27,109 Let's give thanks for a safe journey. Billy? 163 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,576 Dear heavenly father, we thank thee kindly 164 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,893 for a terrific bus ride. 165 00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:31,378 I ate three boxes of cracker Jacks, 166 00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:32,830 got a dog whistle and a miniature map 167 00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:34,314 of the original 13 colonies. 168 00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:36,358 Also, we saw a coyote get run over by a 14-Wheeler 169 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,068 and left him flat as a pancake. 170 00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:39,194 Boy, oh, boy. What else? 171 00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:40,421 The bus driver had to stop twice 172 00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:41,589 because Bernice couldn't hold it. 173 00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:42,656 - Could so. - Amen. 174 00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:44,074 Amen. 175 00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:45,826 Lunchtime. Line up single file. 176 00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,163 My word. It's hot. 177 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,749 It's the desert. What'd you expect? 178 00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:54,754 I don't know if I expected one thing or another, 179 00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:56,628 but I'm wilting like a cut Petunia. 180 00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,296 Humans don't wilt. Don't they? 181 00:13:58,422 --> 00:13:59,742 No, wilting is a phenomenon 182 00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:01,550 by which a petal, leaf, or stem... 183 00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:03,260 Do you dare me? 184 00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:05,762 Dare you what? To eat this hot pepper. 185 00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:08,265 It's an experiment. No, don't do it. 186 00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:12,853 Hot pepper. 187 00:14:12,978 --> 00:14:14,771 Holy Toledo. That's Midge Campbell. 188 00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:16,606 Where? Who? Right smack in back of you. 189 00:14:16,732 --> 00:14:18,275 Don't look. 190 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,360 That must be her bodyguard. 191 00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,696 Mr. Cho, yes? Hello. 192 00:14:22,821 --> 00:14:24,948 You're in cabin seven. Well, tent seven. 193 00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:26,992 Here's the key, but there's no door. 194 00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:28,484 Just a flap. Tent flap. 195 00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:30,370 - Tent? - I know. 196 00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:32,581 I upgraded the electrical system Tuesday morning. 197 00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:34,346 Better lighting, power for the ice machine 198 00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:35,834 and a wall-mounted bug zapper. 199 00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:37,711 Unfortunately, a mistake got made, 200 00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:39,230 and cabin seven burned to the ground. 201 00:14:39,254 --> 00:14:40,380 It's a tent now. 202 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:41,785 We don't want to sleep in a tent. 203 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,300 Of course. I understand. 204 00:14:43,425 --> 00:14:45,427 May I say, I think you'll find it very comfortable. 205 00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:47,596 Is the young gentleman in distress? 206 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:48,847 He's thirsty. 207 00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:50,515 Of course. I understand. 208 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:51,808 Uh, juice preference, please? 209 00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:52,893 Apple, orange, or tomato? 210 00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:56,396 Excuse me, sir? 211 00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:58,774 This bucket of nuts just stole my quarter. 212 00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,192 I beg your pardon. 213 00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:05,214 She lived so long till her head got bald 214 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,157 taken a notion not to die at all 215 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,909 Ida Red, Ida Red 216 00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:11,286 I'm a plumb fool about Ida Red... 217 00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:16,333 You're probably wondering why 218 00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:18,460 we didn't pack your mother's suitcase. 219 00:15:19,878 --> 00:15:22,506 It's because she's not coming with us on this journey. 220 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,800 She can't come. 221 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,344 She got too sick. 222 00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:30,639 And, to put it bluntly, after all the surgeries, 223 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,451 therapies and interventions... 224 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:35,602 ...after two years of struggling and suffering, 225 00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:37,604 she succumbed to her illnesses. 226 00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:40,190 I'm sorry. 227 00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:42,067 I didn't know how to tell you then. 228 00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:44,111 I couldn't figure out how to tell you later. 229 00:15:44,236 --> 00:15:45,904 I didn't know what to do. 230 00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,697 The time was never right. 231 00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:52,077 You're saying our mother died three weeks ago? 232 00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,248 Yes. 233 00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:58,291 When is she coming back? 234 00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:00,877 She's not coming back. 235 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,797 Let's say she's in heaven. 236 00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:05,861 Which doesn't exist for me, of course, 237 00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:07,509 but you're episcopalian. 238 00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:10,595 Come here. Let me hug you. 239 00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,854 Okay. Sit back down. 240 00:16:26,069 --> 00:16:28,697 Did you know already, Woodrow? 241 00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:32,576 I think so. 242 00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:35,787 She'd been away so long. 243 00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,038 244 00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:39,875 Yeah. 245 00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:42,294 We're gonna be okay. 246 00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:43,837 Your grandfather's on his way. 247 00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:45,881 We're gonna stay with him for a period of time 248 00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:48,341 which is yet to be determined how long it's gonna be. 249 00:16:49,593 --> 00:16:51,553 Is she in there? 250 00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:57,058 Yeah. 251 00:16:57,601 --> 00:16:59,144 She's in the tupperware. 252 00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,064 Cremated. 253 00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:09,863 Are we orphans now? 254 00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:15,827 Are we orphans now? 255 00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:18,288 No. 256 00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:19,956 Because I'm still alive. 257 00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:26,755 When my father died, my mother told me, "he's in the stars." 258 00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:30,550 I told her, "the closest star, other than that one, 259 00:17:30,634 --> 00:17:32,219 "is four and half light-years away 260 00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:34,804 "with a surface temperature over 5,000 degrees centigrade." 261 00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:37,474 "He's not in the stars," I said. 262 00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:39,017 "He's in the ground." 263 00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:41,144 She thought it would comfort me. 264 00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:42,812 She was an atheist. 265 00:17:43,438 --> 00:17:45,690 The other thing she'd say which is incorrect... 266 00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:47,651 "Time heals all wounds." 267 00:17:47,776 --> 00:17:49,236 No. 268 00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:50,946 Maybe it can be a band-aid. 269 00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:54,366 Your concept of time is completely distorted, though. 270 00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:56,034 I don't think any of you except Woodrow 271 00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:58,078 even understands what 15 minutes means. 272 00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:01,957 Fifteen minutes is 6,200 hours. 273 00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:06,711 Exactly. 274 00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:09,047 That's not your fault. 275 00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:18,085 If you could have anything in the world to eat right now, 276 00:18:18,181 --> 00:18:19,557 what would it be? 277 00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:25,355 The character of Augie Steenbeck 278 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,565 in the imaginary tale of our production 279 00:18:27,691 --> 00:18:30,360 was to become famously and indelibly connected 280 00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,612 to the actor who created the role, 281 00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:35,115 a former carpenter discovered in a bit part 282 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,450 by the play's director, Schubert green. 283 00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:39,619 I've finished my correspondence, analisse. 284 00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:41,371 Please bring me my cocktail and my pill. 285 00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:42,914 Remember, the gentleman... oh, no. 286 00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,308 ...referred by Mr. Green has arrived. 287 00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:45,875 No. Send him away. 288 00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:47,895 Put him up at the salty skipper or the lighthouse inn 289 00:18:47,919 --> 00:18:49,479 and tell him to come back in the morning 290 00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:50,672 but not before 11:00. 291 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,132 The occasion of the first meeting 292 00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:54,384 between playwright and player is now, 293 00:18:54,509 --> 00:18:56,052 in our fanciful telling, 294 00:18:56,177 --> 00:18:58,638 a matter of theatrical lore and legend. 295 00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:01,683 Setting, late Autumn, late afternoon, 296 00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:04,728 a seaside village outside the grand Metropolis. 297 00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:07,355 Oh, no, again. I-1 beg your pardon. I'm sorry. 298 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,025 Did miss Watson not inform you? I'm indisposed. 299 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:12,110 I know, but the ice cream would've melted. 300 00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:20,827 What's this? I think it's the one you like. 301 00:19:20,952 --> 00:19:22,704 Gooseberry wriggle from the frosty spoon 302 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,289 on east Rotterdam. 303 00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:26,434 I wrapped it in sawdust, newspaper, and peanut shells. 304 00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:27,768 You shouldn't waste your spending money 305 00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,169 on an old fool like me. 306 00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:30,688 Well, they gave me ten dollars bus fare, 307 00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:32,273 so I bought us a half bucket, hitchhiked, 308 00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:33,757 and pocketed the change. 309 00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:41,097 Cool and delicious. 310 00:19:42,724 --> 00:19:44,267 How long have you been in the service? 311 00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:45,560 The service? What service? 312 00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:46,871 I don't know what you're talking about. 313 00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:48,813 Well, unless I've been deliberately misinformed, 314 00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:50,690 I believe those stripes indicate the status 315 00:19:50,815 --> 00:19:52,650 of a ranking corporal, second class. 316 00:19:52,776 --> 00:19:55,487 Oh, no. I-I'm g.I. Number three in bugle boy blows the blues. 317 00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:56,946 Was, anyway. We closed tonight. 318 00:19:57,072 --> 00:19:59,324 I see. Property of the wardrobe department. 319 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:00,742 Not anymore. 320 00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:04,913 How was it, by the way? 321 00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:07,332 The play? It stunk. 322 00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:09,417 - Mind if I crack open a window? - Not at all. 323 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:10,877 It's sweltering, isn't it? 324 00:20:11,002 --> 00:20:13,129 Even the daisies and buttercups are drooping... 325 00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:15,882 That window sticks a bit. That window sticks a bit! 326 00:20:21,001 --> 00:20:22,597 You broke my window. 327 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:30,146 Why does Augie burn his hand on the quicky-griddle? 328 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,567 Well, I don't even know myself, to tell you the truth. 329 00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:36,069 I hadn't planned it that way. 330 00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:38,029 He just sort of did it while I was typing. 331 00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:40,031 Is it too extraordinary for you? 332 00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:42,534 Uh, I guess, the way I read it, he was looking for an excuse 333 00:20:42,659 --> 00:20:44,411 why his heart was beating so fast. 334 00:20:46,121 --> 00:20:48,456 Oh, what an interesting sentiment. 335 00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,333 I love that idea. 336 00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:51,751 Maybe he should say it. 337 00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,294 It's a very good line. 338 00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:58,883 No, I suppose not. Not necessary. 339 00:21:23,366 --> 00:21:24,993 It's a fact, we're not alone. 340 00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:26,744 The alien stole the asteroid. 341 00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:28,288 Long thought to be a lunar splinter 342 00:21:28,413 --> 00:21:29,664 fragmented from the lesser moon 343 00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:32,041 of the hypothetical planet magnavox-27, 344 00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:34,252 now considered a rogue pygmy cometette, 345 00:21:34,377 --> 00:21:36,212 according to the encyclopedia. 346 00:21:36,838 --> 00:21:38,441 Obviously, she would've said something to him. 347 00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:40,341 I'm certain of it. Your mother, I mean. 348 00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:42,862 She would've gotten him to tell us the secrets of the universe 349 00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:44,971 or yelled at him or made him laugh. 350 00:21:45,096 --> 00:21:46,848 She would've had a hypothesis. 351 00:21:47,682 --> 00:21:49,642 You remind me of her more than ever. 352 00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:51,186 She wasn't shy. 353 00:21:51,686 --> 00:21:53,062 You'll grow out of that. 354 00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:56,774 I think your sisters might be aliens, too, by the way. 355 00:22:00,778 --> 00:22:03,198 When I met your mother, she was only 19. 356 00:22:03,323 --> 00:22:05,450 She was smoking a cigarette, reading a paperback, 357 00:22:05,575 --> 00:22:08,119 taking a bath in a swimsuit on a rusty fire escape 358 00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:10,914 a flight and a half below my camera position. 359 00:22:11,039 --> 00:22:13,791 Sometimes, I sometimes still think 360 00:22:13,917 --> 00:22:16,669 I still hear her here 361 00:22:16,794 --> 00:22:18,296 breathing in the dark. 362 00:22:22,884 --> 00:22:24,260 Who knows, Woodrow? 363 00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:27,013 Maybe she is in the stars. 364 00:22:40,527 --> 00:22:41,945 You're perfect. 365 00:23:09,138 --> 00:23:10,848 Okay? Okay. 366 00:23:44,446 --> 00:23:46,050 Hold on, partner! 367 00:23:49,304 --> 00:23:50,972 - Zut alors. - Oh, no. 368 00:23:55,310 --> 00:23:56,728 When's the next one? 369 00:23:56,853 --> 00:23:58,980 Sunday morning, I think. 370 00:24:10,908 --> 00:24:12,368 Drink your juice. 371 00:24:21,169 --> 00:24:22,462 You took a picture of me. 372 00:24:25,506 --> 00:24:26,633 Why? 373 00:24:27,717 --> 00:24:29,218 I'm a photographer. 374 00:24:30,178 --> 00:24:31,429 You didn't ask permission. 375 00:24:31,554 --> 00:24:34,223 I never ask permission. Why not? 376 00:24:34,682 --> 00:24:38,311 Because I work in trenches, battlefields, and combat zones. 377 00:24:38,436 --> 00:24:39,729 Really? 378 00:24:42,190 --> 00:24:43,650 You mean you're a war photographer? 379 00:24:43,775 --> 00:24:44,776 Mostly. 380 00:24:45,193 --> 00:24:47,278 Sometimes I cover sporting events. 381 00:24:47,403 --> 00:24:49,405 My name is Augie Steenbeck. 382 00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:55,787 What are you gonna do with it? 383 00:24:55,912 --> 00:24:57,580 That picture. 384 00:24:57,705 --> 00:25:00,708 Hmm. Well, if it's any good, I guess I'll try to sell it 385 00:25:00,833 --> 00:25:03,044 to a magazine, now that you mention it. 386 00:25:03,336 --> 00:25:05,713 "Midge Campbell eating a waffle." 387 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,386 Make me a print first, to approve. 388 00:25:15,473 --> 00:25:16,891 This is Dinah. 389 00:25:17,016 --> 00:25:18,434 This is Woodrow. 390 00:25:18,518 --> 00:25:19,644 I have a question. 391 00:25:20,978 --> 00:25:22,563 Have you ever been shot with bullets? 392 00:25:22,647 --> 00:25:23,940 Have I ever been... 393 00:25:25,016 --> 00:25:27,360 Once or twice, just grazed. 394 00:25:27,443 --> 00:25:30,238 He got shrapneled in the back of the head, too. Show her. 395 00:25:38,287 --> 00:25:40,623 I don't say I forgive you yet, by the way. 396 00:25:53,761 --> 00:25:55,888 Welcome from the United States Military-Science 397 00:25:56,013 --> 00:25:57,890 Research and Experimentation Division, 398 00:25:58,015 --> 00:26:00,017 in conjunction with the Larkings Foundation. 399 00:26:00,143 --> 00:26:01,602 We salute you. 400 00:26:11,863 --> 00:26:13,781 Each year, we celebrate Asteroid Day, 401 00:26:13,906 --> 00:26:16,701 commemorating September 23rd, 3007 B.C., 402 00:26:16,826 --> 00:26:19,912 when the arid plains meteorite made earth impact. 403 00:26:21,122 --> 00:26:22,915 The itinerary for this three-day celebration 404 00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:25,251 includes a tour of the newly refurbished observatory 405 00:26:25,376 --> 00:26:27,378 with Dr. Hickenlooper and her staff, 406 00:26:28,045 --> 00:26:30,256 a picnic supper of chili and frankfurters 407 00:26:30,381 --> 00:26:32,216 with an evening fireworks display, 408 00:26:33,217 --> 00:26:35,178 the viewing of the astronomical ellipses 409 00:26:35,303 --> 00:26:37,597 at its peak just before midnight tonight, 410 00:26:37,722 --> 00:26:39,974 and finally, the awarding of the annual 411 00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:43,478 Hickenlooper scholarship after Monday's banquet lunch. 412 00:26:44,228 --> 00:26:46,439 Now, I'll start by presenting the commemorative medals, 413 00:26:46,564 --> 00:26:48,566 but first, I'll do my speech first, 414 00:26:48,691 --> 00:26:51,444 which you'll also receive in a folio edition as a souvenir. 415 00:27:00,828 --> 00:27:02,413 Chapter one. 416 00:27:02,497 --> 00:27:04,725 I walked to school 18 miles each morning, milked the goats, 417 00:27:04,749 --> 00:27:06,310 plucked the chickens, played hooky, caught fireflies, 418 00:27:06,334 --> 00:27:07,934 went skinny-dipping in the watering hole, 419 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,170 said my prayers every night 420 00:27:09,295 --> 00:27:10,773 and got whipped with a maple switch twice a week. 421 00:27:10,797 --> 00:27:11,964 That was life. 422 00:27:14,342 --> 00:27:15,676 Chapter two. 423 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:17,929 My father went off to fight in the war to end all wars, 424 00:27:18,054 --> 00:27:19,472 it didn't, and what was left of him 425 00:27:19,597 --> 00:27:21,432 came back in a pine box with a flag on top. 426 00:27:21,557 --> 00:27:22,892 End of chapter two. 427 00:27:23,559 --> 00:27:25,478 Next, I went to officer school, 428 00:27:25,603 --> 00:27:27,897 and 20 years passed at the speed of a dream. 429 00:27:28,022 --> 00:27:30,525 A wife, a son, a daughter, a poodle. 430 00:27:31,192 --> 00:27:33,319 Chapter three. Another war. 431 00:27:33,444 --> 00:27:35,446 Arms and legs blown off like popcorn, 432 00:27:35,571 --> 00:27:38,241 eyeballs gouged out, figuratively and literally. 433 00:27:38,366 --> 00:27:40,284 The men put on shows under the palm fronds 434 00:27:40,409 --> 00:27:41,786 dressed as women in hula skirts. 435 00:27:41,911 --> 00:27:43,454 That was life. 436 00:27:43,538 --> 00:27:45,915 In the meantime, somebody else's story. 437 00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:47,583 A man thinks up a number, 438 00:27:47,708 --> 00:27:49,561 divides it by a trillion, plugs it into the square root 439 00:27:49,585 --> 00:27:51,003 of the circumference of the earth 440 00:27:51,128 --> 00:27:52,731 multiplied by the speed of a splitting atom, 441 00:27:52,755 --> 00:27:54,382 and voila, progress. 442 00:27:54,507 --> 00:27:56,342 I'm not a scientist. You are. 443 00:27:56,467 --> 00:27:57,844 End of chapter three. 444 00:27:58,427 --> 00:28:00,972 Junior stargazers and space cadets, 445 00:28:01,097 --> 00:28:03,391 we watch transfixed as you enter 446 00:28:03,516 --> 00:28:06,686 into uncharted territories of the brains and spirit. 447 00:28:06,811 --> 00:28:09,564 If you wanted to live a nice, quiet, peaceful life, 448 00:28:09,981 --> 00:28:11,983 you picked the wrong time to get born. 449 00:28:13,609 --> 00:28:15,152 That's my speech. 450 00:28:23,870 --> 00:28:26,330 Be notified, you are each the guardian of your own safety. 451 00:28:26,455 --> 00:28:27,790 Maintain alert caution 452 00:28:27,915 --> 00:28:29,792 throughout the following demonstrations. 453 00:28:30,918 --> 00:28:32,879 To Ricky Cho, for his work in the field 454 00:28:33,004 --> 00:28:34,463 of aeronautical induction, 455 00:28:34,589 --> 00:28:37,091 the collapsing star ribbon of success. 456 00:28:37,216 --> 00:28:39,385 To Clifford kellogg, for his work in the study 457 00:28:39,510 --> 00:28:41,012 of particle disintegration, 458 00:28:42,513 --> 00:28:44,307 the black hole badge of triumph. 459 00:28:44,432 --> 00:28:45,975 To Dinah Campbell... 460 00:28:46,100 --> 00:28:47,703 It's fueled by cosmic radiation instead of sunlight. 461 00:28:47,727 --> 00:28:49,228 ...For her work in the area 462 00:28:49,353 --> 00:28:50,855 of botanical acceleration... 463 00:28:51,981 --> 00:28:54,275 Unfortunately, it makes all vegetables toxic. 464 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,152 ...The red giant sash of honor. 465 00:28:56,903 --> 00:28:58,362 To Shelly Borden, for her work 466 00:28:58,487 --> 00:28:59,967 in the realm of mineral fabrication... 467 00:29:00,072 --> 00:29:01,991 I synthesized an extraterrestrial element. 468 00:29:02,116 --> 00:29:04,660 It's going to be added to the periodic table next year. 469 00:29:04,785 --> 00:29:06,704 The Distant Nebula Laurel Crown. 470 00:29:07,663 --> 00:29:09,332 To Woodrow Steenbeck 471 00:29:10,785 --> 00:29:13,371 for his work in the sphere of astronomical imaging... 472 00:29:18,883 --> 00:29:20,843 It may have applications in the development 473 00:29:20,968 --> 00:29:22,803 of interstellar advertising. 474 00:29:22,929 --> 00:29:24,972 ...The White Dwarf Medal of Achievement. 475 00:29:30,519 --> 00:29:31,938 Our tour ends here. 476 00:29:32,063 --> 00:29:33,743 Thank you for your attention, and thank you 477 00:29:33,814 --> 00:29:36,317 to the Larkings Foundation for their generous funding. 478 00:29:43,066 --> 00:29:45,193 - What do those pulses indicate? - What? 479 00:29:45,550 --> 00:29:47,161 The beeps and blips? We don't know. 480 00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:49,789 Indecipherable radio emissions from outer space. 481 00:29:49,914 --> 00:29:51,916 - Probably a red herring. - Does it change ever? 482 00:29:52,041 --> 00:29:53,751 Not to my knowledge. 483 00:29:53,876 --> 00:29:56,170 - It's a date, maybe. - It's a date? 484 00:29:56,295 --> 00:29:57,880 - On the galactic calendar. - Maybe. 485 00:29:58,005 --> 00:30:00,132 Mary, we think it's a date on the galactic calendar. 486 00:30:00,257 --> 00:30:02,218 - What? Wow. - Is it always today? 487 00:30:06,305 --> 00:30:10,101 there'll be no wedding bells for today 488 00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:14,313 I got spurs that jingle jangle, jingle... 489 00:30:14,397 --> 00:30:16,917 We thank thee for the ketchup, and we thank thee for the mustard. 490 00:30:16,941 --> 00:30:19,421 We thank thee for the relish, and we thank thee for the onions. 491 00:30:19,485 --> 00:30:21,672 - We thank thee for the pickles, and we thank... - Head count. 492 00:30:21,696 --> 00:30:22,697 - One. - Two. 493 00:30:22,822 --> 00:30:23,948 - Three. - Four. 494 00:30:24,073 --> 00:30:25,533 - Five. - Six. 495 00:30:25,658 --> 00:30:27,326 - Dwight? Where's Dwight? - Eight. 496 00:30:27,451 --> 00:30:29,912 - Dwight? Dwight? - Less than 0.0000% chance exists 497 00:30:30,037 --> 00:30:32,099 of extraterrestrial life in the entire universe. 498 00:30:32,123 --> 00:30:33,541 It's a scientific fact. 499 00:30:33,666 --> 00:30:35,386 Other than space bugs and microscopic worms. 500 00:30:35,418 --> 00:30:37,044 - I assertively disagree. - So do I. 501 00:30:37,169 --> 00:30:39,422 It's not a scientific fact. It's not even a number. 502 00:30:39,505 --> 00:30:40,983 - Pass the pickles, please. - How's the chili? 503 00:30:41,007 --> 00:30:42,693 - Fine, once you add the hot sauce. - Thank you. 504 00:30:42,717 --> 00:30:44,152 - Sparkler? - Consider the constants... 505 00:30:44,176 --> 00:30:45,720 Endless space and immeasurable time. 506 00:30:45,845 --> 00:30:48,014 The likelihood is increased by a factor of infinity. 507 00:30:48,139 --> 00:30:50,182 - Where'd you get that? - The cantina machine. 508 00:30:50,307 --> 00:30:52,667 - Where's the cantina machine? - The cantina machine? 509 00:30:53,394 --> 00:30:55,771 Can you see anything with those on your face? 510 00:30:58,547 --> 00:30:59,984 Gadzooks. Wh-what'd you... 511 00:31:00,109 --> 00:31:01,485 What did you do to deserve that? 512 00:31:01,610 --> 00:31:02,862 - Nothing. - Who hit you? 513 00:31:02,987 --> 00:31:04,280 Nobody. 514 00:31:04,405 --> 00:31:06,615 It's greasepaint, to feel like my character. 515 00:31:07,795 --> 00:31:09,160 How does she get a black eye? 516 00:31:09,285 --> 00:31:10,369 In the story. 517 00:31:10,494 --> 00:31:11,829 Well, she doesn't in the story. 518 00:31:11,954 --> 00:31:13,789 - It's on the inside. - Okay. 519 00:31:13,914 --> 00:31:15,934 - It's supposed to be, anyway. - All right. 520 00:31:15,958 --> 00:31:17,519 The Larkings foundation claims permanent, 521 00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:19,086 - incontestable rights. - That's right. 522 00:31:19,211 --> 00:31:20,522 - They're ours. We own them. - Incontestable rights 523 00:31:20,546 --> 00:31:22,256 to all patents or inventions derived 524 00:31:22,381 --> 00:31:23,789 from any and every submission, without exception. 525 00:31:23,814 --> 00:31:25,461 Not for teenagers. Read the fine print. 526 00:31:25,523 --> 00:31:27,261 The projects all belong to Uncle Sam. 527 00:31:29,138 --> 00:31:30,931 I call it "triple orbit and return 528 00:31:31,057 --> 00:31:33,017 without burning up in the atmosphere." 529 00:31:42,026 --> 00:31:44,111 Why are you sitting there all by yourself? 530 00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:45,710 You. 531 00:31:47,551 --> 00:31:48,991 Are you shy? 532 00:31:49,366 --> 00:31:51,035 I'm a late bloomer. 533 00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:52,828 So I've been told by my parents. 534 00:31:52,953 --> 00:31:55,831 - Are you intimidated by us? - No. 535 00:31:55,956 --> 00:31:58,000 Let's do a personality test. What's your name again? 536 00:31:58,125 --> 00:31:59,710 Woodrow L. Steenbeck. 537 00:31:59,897 --> 00:32:01,337 What's the "L" for? 538 00:32:01,462 --> 00:32:03,464 - Lindbergh. - Everybody look at Woodrow. 539 00:32:07,676 --> 00:32:10,721 I agree. Shy but not intimidated. 540 00:32:10,846 --> 00:32:12,306 Move over here, Woodrow. 541 00:32:25,194 --> 00:32:27,196 - Brainiac, huh? - Yeah, Brainiac. 542 00:32:27,321 --> 00:32:29,031 It sort of goes without saying, doesn't it? 543 00:32:29,156 --> 00:32:31,450 Everybody already knows we're abnormally intelligent. 544 00:32:31,575 --> 00:32:33,869 That's true. My mother made it for me. 545 00:32:33,994 --> 00:32:36,330 It's supposed to be funny, according to her sense of humor, 546 00:32:36,455 --> 00:32:38,457 but it's not as hilarious as it was originally. 547 00:32:38,582 --> 00:32:40,084 Oh, really? How come? 548 00:32:40,209 --> 00:32:42,837 Because she was alive then. Now she's dead. 549 00:32:47,967 --> 00:32:49,510 What was she like? 550 00:32:50,219 --> 00:32:51,887 My... my mother? 551 00:32:52,471 --> 00:32:54,223 She was... 552 00:32:59,395 --> 00:33:00,813 Like this. 553 00:33:09,238 --> 00:33:11,031 When did you lose her? 554 00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:16,495 Officially, this morning, but I think I already knew. 555 00:33:17,332 --> 00:33:18,875 Howdy. 556 00:33:19,165 --> 00:33:20,541 What are you doing up there? 557 00:33:20,666 --> 00:33:22,543 Just enjoying the desert air. 558 00:33:23,043 --> 00:33:24,879 - You dare me? - Dare you what? 559 00:33:25,004 --> 00:33:26,839 To jump off this bungalow. 560 00:33:26,964 --> 00:33:29,758 It's an experiment. No. 561 00:33:36,056 --> 00:33:37,808 I love gravity. 562 00:33:37,933 --> 00:33:40,728 It might be my favorite law of physics at the moment. 563 00:33:42,771 --> 00:33:44,940 Players of the stage, 564 00:33:45,065 --> 00:33:47,735 a tribe of troubadours and nonconformists. 565 00:33:48,319 --> 00:33:51,071 They lead unconventional, sometimes dangerous lives 566 00:33:51,197 --> 00:33:54,241 which nourish and elevate their artistic aspirations 567 00:33:54,366 --> 00:33:56,493 and illuminate the human condition. 568 00:33:56,619 --> 00:33:58,579 Next, ten weeks later, 569 00:33:58,704 --> 00:34:01,498 the Eve of Asteroid City's first public preview. 570 00:34:01,624 --> 00:34:04,084 A drawing room on board the apache plainsliner 571 00:34:04,210 --> 00:34:06,170 bound for the California coast. 572 00:34:06,802 --> 00:34:08,380 It's open. 573 00:34:10,674 --> 00:34:12,509 Schubert says you got to come back. 574 00:34:13,552 --> 00:34:15,638 If I'm so important, why isn't he here himself? 575 00:34:15,763 --> 00:34:17,741 Probably too busy. Too busy to go chasing after you. 576 00:34:17,765 --> 00:34:19,225 They sent me. You know who I am? 577 00:34:19,350 --> 00:34:20,935 I think so. Understudy. 578 00:34:21,060 --> 00:34:23,395 The understudy. That's right. Let me just, uh... 579 00:34:25,606 --> 00:34:27,524 He said, if you're crying, I read you this one. 580 00:34:27,650 --> 00:34:29,026 No, that's not it. Here it is. 581 00:34:29,151 --> 00:34:30,861 If you're hopping mad, I read you this one. 582 00:34:30,986 --> 00:34:32,029 Give me both. 583 00:34:32,154 --> 00:34:33,530 Not what he said. He said, if... 584 00:34:33,656 --> 00:34:35,032 Give me both. 585 00:34:41,455 --> 00:34:43,249 "Tell her she's a stuck-up, low-class snob 586 00:34:43,332 --> 00:34:44,833 "but she's got no good reason to be. 587 00:34:44,917 --> 00:34:46,377 "If she sasses you, sass her back. 588 00:34:46,460 --> 00:34:47,687 "Tell her she's a borderline neurotic 589 00:34:47,711 --> 00:34:48,963 "with an achilles heel complex." 590 00:34:49,046 --> 00:34:50,464 That's the second one. 591 00:34:53,425 --> 00:34:55,528 "Tell her she relies on her beauty like a wobbly crutch. 592 00:34:55,552 --> 00:34:56,762 "It's her deepest weakness. 593 00:34:56,887 --> 00:34:58,156 "Tell her she's got the potential 594 00:34:58,180 --> 00:34:59,460 “for genuine greatness, but I say 595 00:34:59,515 --> 00:35:01,725 "with absolute certainty she will never achieve it." 596 00:35:02,726 --> 00:35:04,061 Anything else? 597 00:35:06,313 --> 00:35:09,066 Uh-huh. He said, if you're cool and collected, 598 00:35:09,149 --> 00:35:10,669 which I think is what I think you seem to be, 599 00:35:10,693 --> 00:35:12,671 then that means you probably really don't want to come back 600 00:35:12,695 --> 00:35:13,904 and I got to give you this. 601 00:35:14,029 --> 00:35:15,739 Read it. Not what he said. 602 00:35:15,864 --> 00:35:17,908 He said this one's private. Just the two of you. 603 00:35:18,033 --> 00:35:19,994 He said that... He-he said... 604 00:35:26,458 --> 00:35:28,168 "Dear Kim, I'm sorry I shouted 605 00:35:28,294 --> 00:35:30,254 "and called you a spoiled bitch and a minor talent 606 00:35:30,379 --> 00:35:32,399 "and broke your glasses and threw them out the window. 607 00:35:32,423 --> 00:35:33,983 "Given that I have always considered you 608 00:35:34,049 --> 00:35:35,694 "to be the most consummately gifted living actress 609 00:35:35,718 --> 00:35:37,678 "and a person of great intelligence and character, 610 00:35:37,761 --> 00:35:39,138 "these statements and actions 611 00:35:39,263 --> 00:35:41,307 "do not accurately reflect my true feelings. 612 00:35:41,432 --> 00:35:42,933 "Yes, I may be a manipulative snake, 613 00:35:43,058 --> 00:35:45,102 "as you once characterized me behind my back... 614 00:35:45,185 --> 00:35:47,646 "You see, I do have my sources, but I love you like a sister, 615 00:35:47,771 --> 00:35:50,000 "other than that one time in the bathroom the day we met, 616 00:35:50,024 --> 00:35:52,151 "which has never been repeated, as we both know. 617 00:35:57,990 --> 00:35:59,325 "I never meant to hurt you 618 00:35:59,450 --> 00:36:01,618 "or insult you or offend you in any way, 619 00:36:01,744 --> 00:36:04,330 "only to try with the few tools I have at my disposal 620 00:36:04,455 --> 00:36:06,957 "to do my job, which is to make it work. 621 00:36:07,082 --> 00:36:08,459 "Forgive me. 622 00:36:08,584 --> 00:36:10,344 "We open tomorrow night, with or without you. 623 00:36:10,753 --> 00:36:12,713 "Without, our entire devoted company 624 00:36:12,838 --> 00:36:15,257 "will suffer complete disaster and tragic calamity, 625 00:36:15,382 --> 00:36:18,427 "as will a brilliant, fragile genius named Conrad Earp. 626 00:36:18,927 --> 00:36:21,513 "With, you will enjoy the triumph of your career, 627 00:36:21,638 --> 00:36:23,932 "which does not matter in the least. 628 00:36:24,058 --> 00:36:27,478 "All that matters is every second of life onstage 629 00:36:27,603 --> 00:36:29,104 "and our friendship. 630 00:36:29,229 --> 00:36:30,564 "Your servant, your director 631 00:36:30,689 --> 00:36:33,233 "and, if I may, your devoted mentor, 632 00:36:33,359 --> 00:36:34,735 "Schubert green." 633 00:36:41,617 --> 00:36:43,535 What's your name, understudy? 634 00:36:45,371 --> 00:36:48,165 They continued through the night as far as Ohio, 635 00:36:48,290 --> 00:36:50,667 then disembarked and caught the return flight 636 00:36:50,793 --> 00:36:53,712 arriving two hours prior to curtain. 637 00:36:53,837 --> 00:36:56,673 The talented understudy immediately replaced 638 00:36:56,799 --> 00:36:58,384 the original Woodrow. 639 00:37:00,469 --> 00:37:02,869 I strongly question whether your daughter's silly putty 640 00:37:02,971 --> 00:37:04,515 resembles anything from outer space. 641 00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:06,520 It's not silly putty. I'm sorry, but I doubt it. 642 00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:07,851 It's called s'morestozium. 643 00:37:07,976 --> 00:37:09,311 This is excellent. Thank you. 644 00:37:09,436 --> 00:37:10,789 It's really all the machine's doing. 645 00:37:10,813 --> 00:37:13,065 What the devil do you know about astrogeology anyway, 646 00:37:13,190 --> 00:37:14,691 J.J, whatever that stands for? 647 00:37:14,817 --> 00:37:16,026 I just maintain the workings. 648 00:37:16,151 --> 00:37:17,653 Shelly's thesis is supported by... 649 00:37:17,778 --> 00:37:19,113 Flimsy, outdated evidence. 650 00:37:19,238 --> 00:37:20,781 I beg your pardon? Not in my opinion. 651 00:37:20,906 --> 00:37:22,509 I liked the silly putty or s'morestozium, in fact. 652 00:37:22,533 --> 00:37:23,742 I'm just quoting what he said. 653 00:37:23,867 --> 00:37:25,178 Your son's project might very well 654 00:37:25,202 --> 00:37:26,642 have killed us all today, by the way. 655 00:37:26,703 --> 00:37:28,205 Coming from the family that brought us 656 00:37:28,330 --> 00:37:29,766 the electromagnetic death ray. It's a weapon. 657 00:37:29,790 --> 00:37:31,750 Of course it's lethal. So you admit it. 658 00:37:31,875 --> 00:37:33,669 Not to mention Brainiac's flag. 659 00:37:33,794 --> 00:37:35,522 I mean, is he trying to provoke world war III or something? 660 00:37:35,546 --> 00:37:37,186 The jet propulsion belt is eminently safe. 661 00:37:37,256 --> 00:37:38,942 I'd allow an eight-year-old boy to operate it. 662 00:37:38,966 --> 00:37:40,801 In fact, I did... Ricky's cousin chip, 663 00:37:40,926 --> 00:37:43,095 and he broke the solo flight altitude record. 664 00:37:44,263 --> 00:37:45,764 They're strange, aren't they? 665 00:37:45,889 --> 00:37:47,766 Your children, compared to normal people. 666 00:37:47,850 --> 00:37:48,951 Yes. That's correct. 667 00:37:48,976 --> 00:37:50,303 It's true. 668 00:37:51,395 --> 00:37:52,813 After that, the second person 669 00:37:52,938 --> 00:37:54,916 says the name the first one said, then adds another. 670 00:37:54,940 --> 00:37:56,793 Then the third person says both plus a new name. 671 00:37:56,817 --> 00:37:59,045 And then the next person keeps going, and so on in a circle. 672 00:37:59,069 --> 00:38:00,112 It's a memory game. Get it? 673 00:38:00,237 --> 00:38:01,488 I'll start. Cleopatra. 674 00:38:01,613 --> 00:38:03,240 Cleopatra, Jagadish Chandra Bose. 675 00:38:03,583 --> 00:38:04,450 - Like that? - Exactly. 676 00:38:04,575 --> 00:38:05,951 - Of course. Yes. - Got it. 677 00:38:06,076 --> 00:38:08,370 Cleopatra, Jagadish Chandra Bose, 678 00:38:08,495 --> 00:38:10,315 Antonie van Leeuwenhoek. 679 00:38:10,747 --> 00:38:12,374 Cleopatra, Jagadish Chandra Bose, 680 00:38:12,499 --> 00:38:15,627 Antonie van Leeuwenhoek, Paracelsus. 681 00:38:15,752 --> 00:38:17,337 Cleopatra, Jagadish Chandra Bose, 682 00:38:17,463 --> 00:38:20,757 Antonie van Leeuwenhoek, Paracelsus, Kurt Gédel. 683 00:38:20,883 --> 00:38:21,967 Oh, the Vienna circle. 684 00:38:22,092 --> 00:38:23,510 - The Austrian logician. - Correct. 685 00:38:25,179 --> 00:38:26,763 Cleopatra, 686 00:38:26,889 --> 00:38:28,765 Jagadish Chandra Bose, 687 00:38:28,891 --> 00:38:30,726 Antonie van Leeuwenhoek, 688 00:38:30,851 --> 00:38:32,144 Paracelsus, 689 00:38:32,853 --> 00:38:34,521 Kurt Gédel, 690 00:38:34,646 --> 00:38:36,231 - William Bragg. - Which one? 691 00:38:36,356 --> 00:38:38,066 - There's two. - William Henry Bragg. 692 00:38:38,192 --> 00:38:39,669 - I prefer the son. - The father's better. 693 00:38:39,693 --> 00:38:42,571 Cleopatra, Jagadish Chandra Bose, 694 00:38:42,696 --> 00:38:44,406 - Antonie Van... - Leeuwenhoek. 695 00:38:44,531 --> 00:38:47,075 Paracelsus, Kurt Gédel, 696 00:38:47,201 --> 00:38:48,452 William Henry Bragg. 697 00:38:49,244 --> 00:38:50,537 And the new one. Lord Kelvin. 698 00:38:51,079 --> 00:38:52,623 Cleopatra, Jagadish Chandra Bose, 699 00:38:52,748 --> 00:38:54,875 Antonie van Leeuwenhoek, Paracelsus, Kurt Gédel, 700 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,960 William Henry Bragg, lord Kelvin... 701 00:38:57,920 --> 00:38:59,713 Midge Campbell. Can I say her? 702 00:38:59,838 --> 00:39:01,941 As long as she's a real person, you can say anybody you like. 703 00:39:01,965 --> 00:39:03,526 Cleopatra, Jagadish Chandra Bose... 704 00:39:03,550 --> 00:39:05,230 - Including my mother. - She's my idol. 705 00:39:05,260 --> 00:39:07,460 My turn. Jagadish Chandra Bose, Antonie van Leeuwenhoek, 706 00:39:07,513 --> 00:39:09,848 Paracelsus, Kurt Gédel, William Bragg, the father, 707 00:39:09,973 --> 00:39:11,892 lord Kelvin, the mathematical physicist, 708 00:39:11,975 --> 00:39:13,602 Midge Campbell, your mother, 709 00:39:13,727 --> 00:39:16,021 konstantin tsiolkovsky, the rocket scientist. 710 00:39:16,146 --> 00:39:17,814 I don't know if this game works with us. 711 00:39:17,940 --> 00:39:19,316 Uh, Brainiacs, I mean. 712 00:39:19,441 --> 00:39:20,668 I-I think it might go on forever. 713 00:39:20,692 --> 00:39:21,777 I don't mind. 714 00:39:21,902 --> 00:39:23,195 In my school, nobody'd play 715 00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:25,030 this game with me in a million years. 716 00:39:25,155 --> 00:39:26,595 Plus, the names would be too obvious. 717 00:39:26,657 --> 00:39:28,408 I know my next one... Diophantus. 718 00:39:28,492 --> 00:39:29,952 Wait until it's time to say it. 719 00:39:30,035 --> 00:39:31,495 Try it backwards, Brainiac. 720 00:39:31,912 --> 00:39:33,247 Say the new one first. 721 00:39:35,707 --> 00:39:37,167 Hojo tokiyuki, 722 00:39:37,834 --> 00:39:39,795 konstantin tsiolkovsky, 723 00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:41,880 Midge Campbell, lord Kelvin, 724 00:39:42,005 --> 00:39:44,466 William Henry Bragg, Kurt Gédel, 725 00:39:44,591 --> 00:39:46,802 Paracelsus, Antonie van Leeuwenhoek, 726 00:39:46,927 --> 00:39:48,554 Jagadish Chandra Bose... 727 00:39:50,722 --> 00:39:52,224 Cleopatra. 728 00:40:06,321 --> 00:40:08,198 Put out that cigarette, Dwight. 729 00:40:09,283 --> 00:40:10,701 Oh, hold on. Hold on. 730 00:40:10,826 --> 00:40:13,203 You men should be ashamed of yourselves. Are you? 731 00:40:13,287 --> 00:40:14,847 Yes, ma'am, but we didn't give him that. 732 00:40:14,871 --> 00:40:15,911 Didn't you? That cigarette. 733 00:40:15,956 --> 00:40:17,058 He just must have got it his own self... 734 00:40:17,082 --> 00:40:19,001 Dwight! ...From the cigarette machine. 735 00:40:22,963 --> 00:40:24,423 I almost believe you. 736 00:40:24,548 --> 00:40:25,757 Let's go. 737 00:40:28,302 --> 00:40:30,345 So long, Dwight. So long, Dwight. 738 00:40:48,947 --> 00:40:50,616 Was I ever there? 739 00:40:51,825 --> 00:40:53,452 Was I ever there? 740 00:40:54,661 --> 00:40:56,913 Was I ever there? 741 00:41:01,877 --> 00:41:03,503 Memorizing my lines. 742 00:41:09,426 --> 00:41:10,719 Approved. 743 00:41:19,603 --> 00:41:24,274 As I walked out in the streets of Laredo 744 00:41:24,358 --> 00:41:28,779 as I walked out in Laredo one day 745 00:41:28,904 --> 00:41:30,989 I spied a young cowboy... 746 00:41:31,114 --> 00:41:32,594 I do a nude scene. You want to see it? 747 00:41:35,827 --> 00:41:37,954 - Did I say yes? - You didn't say anything. 748 00:41:38,267 --> 00:41:40,248 I meant yes. My mouth... My mouth didn't speak. 749 00:41:40,332 --> 00:41:41,416 It's a monologue. 750 00:41:41,541 --> 00:41:43,421 Pretend it starts when I step out of the shower. 751 00:41:43,543 --> 00:41:45,629 That you are a cowboy 752 00:41:45,754 --> 00:41:47,506 these words he did say 753 00:41:47,982 --> 00:41:50,592 As I boldly walked by 754 00:41:50,717 --> 00:41:55,263 come sit down beside me and hear my sad story 755 00:41:55,389 --> 00:41:59,976 I'm shot in the breast and I know I must die... 756 00:42:02,646 --> 00:42:04,457 When you first picked me out of the secretarial pool, 757 00:42:04,481 --> 00:42:06,858 I had $111 in my bank account. 758 00:42:06,983 --> 00:42:08,652 I lived alone with a cat and a parakeet 759 00:42:08,777 --> 00:42:10,237 in a one-room dishwater flat. 760 00:42:10,362 --> 00:42:12,364 I sold the desoto to lend you the down payment 761 00:42:12,489 --> 00:42:13,824 for my engagement ring. 762 00:42:13,949 --> 00:42:15,158 It was spring. 763 00:42:15,283 --> 00:42:16,827 I'm not sore. 764 00:42:16,952 --> 00:42:18,370 I know you're a good man. 765 00:42:19,037 --> 00:42:20,372 I'm not sorry. 766 00:42:20,497 --> 00:42:21,915 I never deceived you. 767 00:42:22,708 --> 00:42:24,918 Remember me as a blur in the rearview mirror. 768 00:42:25,043 --> 00:42:26,795 Was I ever there? 769 00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:28,755 Did you actually see me? 770 00:42:30,674 --> 00:42:32,718 I can't even see myself anymore. 771 00:42:35,095 --> 00:42:36,596 But here I am. 772 00:42:40,934 --> 00:42:42,227 Let's get divorced. 773 00:42:46,940 --> 00:42:48,084 It'll be done tastefully, of course. 774 00:42:48,108 --> 00:42:50,318 We cut to the back of my legs when the towel falls down. 775 00:42:52,487 --> 00:42:54,698 Sometimes... they sometimes do a stunt double. 776 00:42:54,823 --> 00:42:56,199 Sometimes. 777 00:42:56,825 --> 00:42:58,785 I don't know if I like beards, by the way. 778 00:43:00,287 --> 00:43:01,830 Can I take another picture? 779 00:43:01,955 --> 00:43:03,373 Not for publication. 780 00:43:04,583 --> 00:43:06,042 I thought you never ask permission. 781 00:43:10,297 --> 00:43:11,673 Don't move. 782 00:43:20,599 --> 00:43:22,476 I prefer to play abused, tragic alcoholics, 783 00:43:22,601 --> 00:43:24,561 and one day, I'll probably be discovered lifeless 784 00:43:24,686 --> 00:43:26,486 in an overflowing bathtub with an empty bottle 785 00:43:26,605 --> 00:43:29,274 of sleeping pills spilled all over the floor, 786 00:43:29,399 --> 00:43:33,487 but the sad thing is I'm actually a very gifted comedienne. 787 00:43:33,612 --> 00:43:35,655 That's true. Are you married? 788 00:43:35,781 --> 00:43:38,366 I'm a widower, but don't tell my kids. 789 00:43:38,492 --> 00:43:40,076 Why not? 790 00:43:40,202 --> 00:43:41,995 I mean, I wasn't going to. All right. Okay. 791 00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:44,080 - Yeah. - I'm sorry. 792 00:43:44,164 --> 00:43:46,416 Thank you. They do know, by the way, 793 00:43:46,500 --> 00:43:47,501 but just barely. 794 00:43:56,343 --> 00:43:57,636 What do you swap for 795 00:43:57,761 --> 00:43:59,596 out of this particular jukebox, mister? 796 00:43:59,721 --> 00:44:01,032 Of course. I understand. 797 00:44:01,056 --> 00:44:02,849 This machine sells land. 798 00:44:02,933 --> 00:44:04,684 Land, you say? Yes, indeed. 799 00:44:04,810 --> 00:44:06,537 The properties just beyond these cottages, in fact. 800 00:44:06,561 --> 00:44:07,896 Out of this here soda pop machine? 801 00:44:08,021 --> 00:44:09,147 Yes, indeed. 802 00:44:11,316 --> 00:44:13,360 Well, now, I ain't calling you a liar to your face, 803 00:44:13,485 --> 00:44:15,505 but that sounds to me like some kind of toadswindle. 804 00:44:15,529 --> 00:44:17,409 Of course. I understand. It's not a toadswindle. 805 00:44:17,447 --> 00:44:18,865 You put in the money, you receive 806 00:44:18,990 --> 00:44:20,534 a notarized deed to the land. 807 00:44:20,659 --> 00:44:22,160 How big a spread? 808 00:44:22,285 --> 00:44:23,620 For $10 in quarters, 809 00:44:23,745 --> 00:44:25,705 approximately half a tennis court. 810 00:44:33,129 --> 00:44:34,714 Put the potion in it. 811 00:44:35,924 --> 00:44:38,176 Friskity, triskity, briskity, boo. 812 00:44:38,301 --> 00:44:40,428 Knickerty, knockerty, tockerty, too. 813 00:44:42,973 --> 00:44:47,477 And with this spell, mama comes back alive! 814 00:44:47,978 --> 00:44:50,146 God save these bones. 815 00:44:57,279 --> 00:44:58,905 What's in the tupperware? 816 00:44:59,030 --> 00:45:01,032 Freight train, freight train 817 00:45:01,116 --> 00:45:02,868 going so fast... 818 00:45:03,660 --> 00:45:05,370 He finally told you. 819 00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:09,708 I don't know what train he's on 820 00:45:09,833 --> 00:45:13,461 won't you tell me where's he gone... 821 00:45:17,424 --> 00:45:19,092 Who's this old man? 822 00:45:19,217 --> 00:45:20,844 Poppy, I think. 823 00:45:20,969 --> 00:45:22,470 You don't remember me. 824 00:45:22,596 --> 00:45:24,264 I remember his smell. 825 00:45:32,314 --> 00:45:33,940 We're not going to abandon my daughter 826 00:45:34,065 --> 00:45:35,901 at a motel in the middle of the desert 827 00:45:36,026 --> 00:45:38,278 buried next to the communal showers. 828 00:45:39,988 --> 00:45:41,281 You're ruining the funeral! 829 00:45:41,364 --> 00:45:42,449 He's making her go to hell! 830 00:45:42,532 --> 00:45:45,201 If you torture us, we'll sacrifice you. 831 00:45:45,994 --> 00:45:47,495 I understand. 832 00:45:47,621 --> 00:45:50,248 Thank you for your clarity. 833 00:45:51,124 --> 00:45:53,668 I'll tell you what, let's leave her 834 00:45:53,752 --> 00:45:55,313 alone in the ground until tomorrow morning. 835 00:45:55,337 --> 00:45:56,755 Then we'll exhume the tupperware, 836 00:45:56,880 --> 00:45:58,715 bring her with us in the Cadillac 837 00:45:59,132 --> 00:46:00,972 and Bury her again this weekend in the backyard 838 00:46:01,092 --> 00:46:02,761 next to the seventh hole at rancho palms, 839 00:46:02,885 --> 00:46:04,905 where I live in a beautiful house with a swimming pool. 840 00:46:04,930 --> 00:46:05,912 Agreed? 841 00:46:06,264 --> 00:46:07,390 Okay. 842 00:46:09,517 --> 00:46:11,579 Let's hope a coyote doesn't dig her up in the meantime. 843 00:46:11,603 --> 00:46:13,313 Nothing we can do about it anyway. 844 00:46:14,940 --> 00:46:16,566 Ooh. Look at that. 845 00:46:32,540 --> 00:46:34,334 Tonight, you're in for a real treat. 846 00:46:34,459 --> 00:46:36,252 I don't know how many of you ever observed 847 00:46:36,378 --> 00:46:38,046 an astronomical ellipses before. 848 00:46:38,171 --> 00:46:40,131 In fact, can we get a show of hands? 849 00:46:41,591 --> 00:46:42,884 Nobody? 850 00:46:43,218 --> 00:46:45,220 Wow. Okay. 851 00:46:45,345 --> 00:46:49,015 Well, what you're gonna see is a very simple dot-dot-dot... 852 00:46:49,140 --> 00:46:51,643 Three pinpoints of light inside your refracting box, 853 00:46:51,768 --> 00:46:53,895 which may not sound very exciting at first, 854 00:46:54,020 --> 00:46:55,438 until you consider how those dots 855 00:46:55,563 --> 00:46:56,856 managed to transmit themselves 856 00:46:56,982 --> 00:46:58,858 across a thousand billion miles of space 857 00:46:58,984 --> 00:47:01,236 onto that little scrap of black cardboard. 858 00:47:01,945 --> 00:47:03,613 Twice every 57 years, 859 00:47:03,738 --> 00:47:05,490 when the earth, the sun, the moon, 860 00:47:05,615 --> 00:47:07,242 and the galactic plane of the milky way 861 00:47:07,367 --> 00:47:10,120 all combobulate along the same angle of orbital interest, 862 00:47:10,245 --> 00:47:13,581 the radiant energy of three neighboring stellar systems 863 00:47:13,707 --> 00:47:15,291 induces a parallel ecliptic transit, 864 00:47:15,417 --> 00:47:17,210 thus all but proving 865 00:47:17,335 --> 00:47:19,587 the hypothesis of celestial flirtation. 866 00:47:19,713 --> 00:47:22,424 The hitch, of course, is that the math doesn't work. 867 00:47:22,549 --> 00:47:24,217 But maybe one of you one day 868 00:47:24,342 --> 00:47:26,428 will be the genius who solves that problem. 869 00:47:26,553 --> 00:47:29,097 The event will begin in 30 seconds. 870 00:47:29,681 --> 00:47:31,975 Remember, if you look directly at the ellipses 871 00:47:32,058 --> 00:47:33,411 rather than through your refracting box, 872 00:47:33,435 --> 00:47:35,195 not only will you not actually see the effect 873 00:47:35,228 --> 00:47:36,730 but you will burn the dots 874 00:47:36,855 --> 00:47:38,735 straight into your retina, probably permanently. 875 00:47:38,773 --> 00:47:41,085 I know that for a fact, because they're still burned into mine 876 00:47:41,109 --> 00:47:43,028 from when I was 11 going on 12. 877 00:47:43,153 --> 00:47:45,530 That's when I realized I wanted to be an astronomer, 878 00:47:45,655 --> 00:47:46,781 which is another story. 879 00:47:46,906 --> 00:47:47,907 Here we go. 880 00:48:14,434 --> 00:48:15,810 There it is. 881 00:48:17,979 --> 00:48:19,331 These are just such 882 00:48:19,355 --> 00:48:21,149 marvelously luminous colors, aren't they? 883 00:48:21,274 --> 00:48:23,443 Very exciting. Does everybody see it? 884 00:48:23,568 --> 00:48:25,820 I don't. I just see a staple. 885 00:48:30,116 --> 00:48:31,785 Yipe! It works. 886 00:48:32,744 --> 00:48:34,245 Are you Shelly? 887 00:48:34,871 --> 00:48:35,715 Yeah. 888 00:48:35,740 --> 00:48:37,916 I'm your idol. What's your rank? 889 00:48:38,041 --> 00:48:39,584 Commanding secretary. 890 00:48:40,168 --> 00:48:41,669 I was a cookie trooper myself. 891 00:48:41,873 --> 00:48:42,920 Really? 892 00:48:43,338 --> 00:48:45,298 What'll they say in Squad 75? 893 00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:36,219 The... alien stole the asteroid. 894 00:51:50,942 --> 00:51:54,654 Schubert green, born Shylock Grzworvszowski. 895 00:51:54,737 --> 00:51:56,364 Director, immigrant. 896 00:51:56,489 --> 00:52:00,410 Known for his limitless energy, his voracious enthusiasms... 897 00:52:00,535 --> 00:52:02,829 A well-known actress described him sexually 898 00:52:02,954 --> 00:52:05,623 as an animal, specifically a rabbit, 899 00:52:05,748 --> 00:52:09,168 and his long, deep, and intimate relationship 900 00:52:09,544 --> 00:52:11,379 with success. 901 00:52:11,504 --> 00:52:13,298 What do you think, lunky? 902 00:52:13,423 --> 00:52:14,465 Good. 903 00:52:20,471 --> 00:52:22,557 I'm not going to ask what the hell's going on here. 904 00:52:22,682 --> 00:52:25,852 His wife Polly left him for an all-star second baseman 905 00:52:25,977 --> 00:52:28,438 during the first week of rehearsals. 906 00:52:28,563 --> 00:52:30,398 My living quarters. 907 00:52:30,523 --> 00:52:32,400 Oh, Rose 908 00:52:32,525 --> 00:52:34,694 my Rose Marie... 909 00:52:34,819 --> 00:52:36,029 Sign this. 910 00:52:36,112 --> 00:52:37,322 Oh, no. 911 00:52:40,986 --> 00:52:42,285 It's Clark's report card. 912 00:52:42,980 --> 00:52:44,495 What'd you think it was? 913 00:52:44,620 --> 00:52:46,748 I thought maybe we were already divorced. 914 00:52:48,207 --> 00:52:50,376 Not yet, but eventually. 915 00:52:50,501 --> 00:52:52,462 He made the honor roll again. 916 00:52:53,588 --> 00:52:57,300 Oh, Rose Marie 917 00:52:57,425 --> 00:52:59,927 I love you 918 00:53:00,845 --> 00:53:03,973 I'm always dreaming... 919 00:53:06,559 --> 00:53:08,478 I'm staying at Diego's penthouse. 920 00:53:08,603 --> 00:53:11,105 Clark's at my mother's. The apartment's empty. 921 00:53:11,230 --> 00:53:12,940 Why don't you just go home? 922 00:53:13,066 --> 00:53:14,400 I don't think I should be alone 923 00:53:14,484 --> 00:53:15,764 in a building with real windows. 924 00:53:19,447 --> 00:53:21,157 Makeup cuts my hair and shaves me. 925 00:53:21,282 --> 00:53:23,493 Costumes washes my dungarees. 926 00:53:23,618 --> 00:53:25,828 This is where I belong, for now. 927 00:53:26,913 --> 00:53:28,414 Much better. 928 00:53:28,539 --> 00:53:29,624 Did you do the green? 929 00:53:34,045 --> 00:53:36,214 It's been a great ten years, Schubert. 930 00:53:36,339 --> 00:53:38,466 I don't regret a second of it. 931 00:53:38,591 --> 00:53:40,176 Clark still loves you. 932 00:53:40,968 --> 00:53:42,553 I still love you. 933 00:53:43,304 --> 00:53:44,972 But not like before? 934 00:53:45,807 --> 00:53:47,475 But not like before. 935 00:53:56,192 --> 00:53:58,069 Schubert green lived in the scenic bay 936 00:53:58,194 --> 00:53:59,570 of the Tarkington Theater 937 00:53:59,695 --> 00:54:03,408 for all 785 performances of Asteroid City. 938 00:54:03,533 --> 00:54:05,118 Dark nights, he stayed 939 00:54:05,243 --> 00:54:07,662 in the governor's suite of the Nebraska hotel. 940 00:54:08,412 --> 00:54:09,664 One last note. 941 00:54:09,956 --> 00:54:12,959 When Midge makes her exit in act three, scene five, 942 00:54:13,084 --> 00:54:16,170 try having her say the line after she closes the door. 943 00:54:17,466 --> 00:54:18,798 Maybe we are doomed. 944 00:54:19,715 --> 00:54:21,175 I will. 945 00:54:21,300 --> 00:54:26,556 My Rose Marie 946 00:54:26,681 --> 00:54:28,182 Goodbye. 947 00:55:14,479 --> 00:55:16,230 Here he comes. 948 00:55:17,273 --> 00:55:18,858 I've just informed the president. 949 00:55:19,567 --> 00:55:21,647 He authorized me to read and implement the provisions 950 00:55:21,736 --> 00:55:23,696 of national security emergency scrimmage Plan X. 951 00:55:23,821 --> 00:55:25,031 Here I go. 952 00:55:25,615 --> 00:55:27,158 "The following top secret directive 953 00:55:27,283 --> 00:55:29,911 "was mandated into law on July 1, 1950." 954 00:55:30,536 --> 00:55:32,205 “In the event of unforeseen engagement 955 00:55:32,330 --> 00:55:34,415 "with intelligent life-form or forms from any planet 956 00:55:34,540 --> 00:55:36,375 "not specifically defined as our earth, 957 00:55:36,501 --> 00:55:38,586 "be advised to initiate the following protocols. 958 00:55:39,003 --> 00:55:42,381 "One, confirm said life-form is not operating under the guidance 959 00:55:42,465 --> 00:55:44,276 "of any hostile foreign terrestrial government." 960 00:55:44,300 --> 00:55:45,694 No, I don't think he's working for the Russians 961 00:55:45,718 --> 00:55:47,238 or the red Chinese, but you never know. 962 00:55:47,303 --> 00:55:49,023 He certainly didn't give me that impression. 963 00:55:49,055 --> 00:55:51,849 "Two, confirm the life-form does not intend to annex, 964 00:55:51,933 --> 00:55:53,935 "colonize, vaporize, or expropriate the resources 965 00:55:54,060 --> 00:55:56,540 "of the sovereign territories of the United States of America." 966 00:55:56,604 --> 00:55:58,731 I doubt it. He took the asteroid and went. 967 00:55:58,856 --> 00:56:01,317 "Three, identify and detain all possible witnesses 968 00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:02,669 "and place them under group arrest 969 00:56:02,693 --> 00:56:04,129 “for a period of no less than one week 970 00:56:04,153 --> 00:56:05,446 "defined as seven calendar days 971 00:56:05,571 --> 00:56:07,073 "during which time they be subjected 972 00:56:07,198 --> 00:56:09,176 "to a prescribed battery of medical and psychological 973 00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:10,785 "examinations and cross-examinations." 974 00:56:10,910 --> 00:56:12,787 Standard procedure. Already in the works. 975 00:56:12,912 --> 00:56:14,288 "Four, secure the site, 976 00:56:14,413 --> 00:56:15,973 "cease the dissemination of information, 977 00:56:15,998 --> 00:56:17,726 "collect and transport the totality of evidence 978 00:56:17,750 --> 00:56:19,043 "to a hermetically enclosed, 979 00:56:19,168 --> 00:56:20,562 "deep-underground secret storage facility 980 00:56:20,586 --> 00:56:22,421 "and publicly deny all aspects of the event, 981 00:56:22,547 --> 00:56:25,299 “including its existence, for a period of no less than 100 years 982 00:56:25,383 --> 00:56:27,218 "defined as 36,500 days." 983 00:56:27,343 --> 00:56:28,928 End of directive. 984 00:56:29,053 --> 00:56:30,388 That's pretty clear. 985 00:56:30,513 --> 00:56:31,722 What do we tell them? Who? 986 00:56:31,847 --> 00:56:33,015 The junior stargazers, 987 00:56:33,140 --> 00:56:34,493 the space cadets, the moms and dads. 988 00:56:34,517 --> 00:56:36,727 - Midge Campbell. - Midge Campbell. 989 00:56:36,852 --> 00:56:38,437 Tell them it didn't happen? 990 00:56:40,231 --> 00:56:42,316 No, obviously, we'll have to formulate 991 00:56:42,441 --> 00:56:44,402 a suitable cover story. 992 00:56:47,446 --> 00:56:49,198 You dare me? 993 00:56:51,033 --> 00:56:53,369 - Dare you what? - To press that button. 994 00:56:54,787 --> 00:56:56,914 I will break your neck. 995 00:56:57,039 --> 00:56:58,559 That's an alien eating an apple. 996 00:56:58,583 --> 00:56:59,851 That's an alien doing jumping Jacks. 997 00:56:59,875 --> 00:57:01,085 That's an alien in a top hat. 998 00:57:01,210 --> 00:57:02,795 That's an alien climbing a ladder. 999 00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:04,273 That's an alien on a racehorse. That's an alien... 1000 00:57:04,297 --> 00:57:05,881 Let's take it from the top. 1001 00:57:06,007 --> 00:57:08,593 I told you 50 times, the alien picked up the asteroid... 1002 00:57:08,718 --> 00:57:10,344 Alleged alien. I know what I saw! 1003 00:57:10,469 --> 00:57:11,989 It's called a meteorite. An extraterrestrial being. 1004 00:57:12,013 --> 00:57:13,657 This is a microfiche of your school newspaper. 1005 00:57:13,681 --> 00:57:15,766 Your byline accompanies an article criticizing 1006 00:57:15,850 --> 00:57:17,351 the principal's disciplinary methods. 1007 00:57:17,476 --> 00:57:19,687 Who were your sources? I was in the sixth grade. 1008 00:57:19,812 --> 00:57:21,852 Just answer the question. And I will not name names! 1009 00:57:26,527 --> 00:57:27,737 You dared me! What did I say? 1010 00:57:27,862 --> 00:57:29,655 What did I say? You dared me! 1011 00:57:38,331 --> 00:57:40,833 All right. Um... 1012 00:57:40,958 --> 00:57:43,210 When I'm calling you... 1013 00:57:44,295 --> 00:57:45,796 I'm going to attempt to proceed 1014 00:57:45,921 --> 00:57:47,965 with the lesson plan I originally prepared. 1015 00:57:48,090 --> 00:57:50,010 Just to keep orderliness under the circumstances. 1016 00:57:50,051 --> 00:57:51,469 I expect that some... 1017 00:57:51,594 --> 00:57:53,194 Some of our information about outer space 1018 00:57:53,220 --> 00:57:55,014 may no longer be completely accurate, 1019 00:57:55,097 --> 00:57:57,391 but, anyway, there are still only nine planets 1020 00:57:57,516 --> 00:57:59,435 in the solar system, as far as we know. Billy? 1021 00:57:59,560 --> 00:58:01,395 Except now there's an alien. 1022 00:58:02,396 --> 00:58:04,440 True, by all appearances. 1023 00:58:04,565 --> 00:58:05,941 Nevertheless, Neptune... 1024 00:58:06,067 --> 00:58:07,693 Fourth largest planet by diameter, 1025 00:58:07,818 --> 00:58:11,656 Neptune orbits the sun only once every 165 years. Bernice? 1026 00:58:12,281 --> 00:58:14,200 Maybe the alien went there. 1027 00:58:14,950 --> 00:58:16,243 Well, maybe. 1028 00:58:16,661 --> 00:58:18,037 I don't think anybody knows 1029 00:58:18,162 --> 00:58:20,122 where the alien went or came from. 1030 00:58:20,247 --> 00:58:21,374 Yes, Dwight? 1031 00:58:21,457 --> 00:58:23,584 At first, I thought the alien was kind of sneaky, 1032 00:58:23,709 --> 00:58:26,003 but now I think he was probably nervous to go to earth. 1033 00:58:26,128 --> 00:58:27,922 He's never been here before, I bet you. 1034 00:58:28,047 --> 00:58:29,441 Then why'd he steal our asteroid, then, 1035 00:58:29,465 --> 00:58:30,716 if he's such a gentleman? 1036 00:58:30,841 --> 00:58:32,677 These are all reasonable questions, 1037 00:58:32,802 --> 00:58:34,804 but at this time, let's stick to Neptune 1038 00:58:34,929 --> 00:58:37,009 because I haven't had time to prepare any lesson plan 1039 00:58:37,056 --> 00:58:38,599 on this subject we're talking about. 1040 00:58:38,683 --> 00:58:39,725 The alien. 1041 00:58:39,850 --> 00:58:41,352 The alien, yes. 1042 00:58:42,770 --> 00:58:45,356 And, by the way, I don't mean to evade your questions. 1043 00:58:45,481 --> 00:58:47,149 I want to emphasize that you're safe. 1044 00:58:47,274 --> 00:58:48,984 We all are, here on earth. 1045 00:58:49,110 --> 00:58:51,612 Your parents have been notified of at least something. 1046 00:58:51,737 --> 00:58:54,323 America remains at peace. 1047 00:58:54,949 --> 00:58:56,534 Yes, Montana? 1048 00:58:56,659 --> 00:58:59,537 I'd like to parley a notion myself, if I could, June. 1049 00:59:01,789 --> 00:59:02,915 Okay. 1050 00:59:08,838 --> 00:59:10,548 I figure this here alien come from a tribe 1051 00:59:10,673 --> 00:59:12,466 we don't know nothing 'bout, do we? 1052 00:59:12,591 --> 00:59:15,177 Anything we say'd just be pure speculation. 1053 00:59:15,302 --> 00:59:17,304 But I tell you what I reckon. 1054 00:59:17,763 --> 00:59:20,725 I reckon that alien don't mean no harm at all. 1055 00:59:20,850 --> 00:59:22,560 I reckon he just took hisself down here 1056 00:59:22,685 --> 00:59:25,396 to have a look-see at the land and the peoples on it. 1057 00:59:25,521 --> 00:59:27,440 In the spirit of exploration. 1058 00:59:27,982 --> 00:59:31,193 See, I don't look on a feller alien all suspicious-like. 1059 00:59:31,694 --> 00:59:33,195 No, he ain't American. 1060 00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:35,614 No, he ain't a creature of god's green earth. 1061 00:59:35,740 --> 00:59:39,160 But he's a creature of somewheres, and so are we. 1062 00:59:39,827 --> 00:59:43,289 Now, let's show the old feller some hospitality, 1063 00:59:43,414 --> 00:59:45,499 and if he turns out to be a dirty dog, 1064 00:59:45,624 --> 00:59:47,084 which I reckon he ain't, 1065 00:59:47,168 --> 00:59:49,628 well, that'll be a job for the United States armed forces, 1066 00:59:49,754 --> 00:59:51,589 and they ain't never lost a war yet. 1067 00:59:54,091 --> 00:59:55,468 Thanky-do. 1068 00:59:57,636 --> 00:59:59,263 I agree with Montana. 1069 00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:02,016 Now, Neptune. 1070 01:00:06,353 --> 01:00:08,939 Tell me, where do they go? 1071 01:00:11,066 --> 01:00:12,526 The smoke rings... 1072 01:00:12,651 --> 01:00:14,361 Which way did he go? 1073 01:00:14,487 --> 01:00:17,740 Hmm. Well, I think he went from here 1074 01:00:17,865 --> 01:00:21,202 to here to here to... 1075 01:00:22,161 --> 01:00:23,204 I don't know where. 1076 01:00:23,287 --> 01:00:24,598 My mother couldn't remember which was which, 1077 01:00:24,622 --> 01:00:26,373 so she made up her own constellations. 1078 01:00:26,999 --> 01:00:29,199 That one's the coat hanger. That one's the leaky faucet. 1079 01:00:29,251 --> 01:00:30,878 Over there's fried egg with spatula. 1080 01:00:30,961 --> 01:00:33,798 My mother is a constellation, or-or at least part of one. 1081 01:00:33,923 --> 01:00:36,050 A Swiss scientist named a hypothetical star after her. 1082 01:00:36,175 --> 01:00:37,301 Really what's it called? 1083 01:00:37,426 --> 01:00:38,844 Midge Campbell x-9 major. 1084 01:00:38,969 --> 01:00:40,649 Midge Campbell x-9... I'm gonna look it up. 1085 01:00:40,763 --> 01:00:42,848 Is she interested in astronomy, your mother? 1086 01:00:42,973 --> 01:00:45,017 Not exactly. She's interested in stardom. 1087 01:00:45,142 --> 01:00:46,828 I don't mean that as a criticism, by the way. 1088 01:00:46,852 --> 01:00:48,437 It's her job to be famous. 1089 01:00:48,562 --> 01:00:50,981 Anyway, I'm sick of her face, but I love her voice. 1090 01:00:51,482 --> 01:00:52,691 She should do more radio. 1091 01:00:53,859 --> 01:00:55,170 I never had children. 1092 01:00:55,194 --> 01:00:58,113 Sometimes I wonder if I wish I should've. 1093 01:00:58,239 --> 01:01:00,616 I discovered a hypothetical star myself, by the way. 1094 01:01:00,741 --> 01:01:02,117 Ooh. Where is it? Which one? 1095 01:01:02,201 --> 01:01:05,079 Right there. Partly blocked by that burnt-out light bulb. 1096 01:01:17,424 --> 01:01:19,343 What happened? I don't know. 1097 01:01:32,022 --> 01:01:33,190 After you. 1098 01:01:41,407 --> 01:01:43,868 Sometimes I think I'd feel more at home 1099 01:01:43,993 --> 01:01:45,870 outside the earth's atmosphere. 1100 01:01:51,292 --> 01:01:52,585 Me, too. 1101 01:01:59,133 --> 01:02:00,509 Did it come out? 1102 01:02:00,634 --> 01:02:04,054 Some people say a man... 1103 01:02:04,138 --> 01:02:05,890 I mean the other one. 1104 01:02:06,015 --> 01:02:09,226 A poor man's made out of muscle and blood 1105 01:02:09,351 --> 01:02:12,104 muscle and blood and skin and bones 1106 01:02:12,229 --> 01:02:15,858 a mind that's weak and a back that's strong... 1107 01:02:16,859 --> 01:02:18,193 Okay. 1108 01:02:19,278 --> 01:02:21,614 Another day older and deeper in debt 1109 01:02:21,739 --> 01:02:25,159 Saint Peter, don't you call me, 'cause I can't go 1110 01:02:25,242 --> 01:02:26,327 you feel different? 1111 01:02:26,452 --> 01:02:29,204 I owe my soul to the company store... 1112 01:02:29,330 --> 01:02:31,373 Hey. You feel different? 1113 01:02:32,583 --> 01:02:34,335 I don't feel anything at all. 1114 01:02:35,044 --> 01:02:36,348 Me, neither. 1115 01:02:39,465 --> 01:02:40,966 I'm not a good mother. 1116 01:02:42,593 --> 01:02:44,353 I love my daughter, but I'm not a good mother 1117 01:02:44,470 --> 01:02:46,830 because, unfortunately for her, she's not my first priority. 1118 01:02:47,181 --> 01:02:49,409 On account of there's always already the thing I plan to do next. 1119 01:02:49,433 --> 01:02:51,769 I love my daughter, by the way. I-I... 1120 01:02:51,894 --> 01:02:53,604 I love all my children. 1121 01:02:53,729 --> 01:02:56,148 We have a magical time when we're together. 1122 01:02:56,273 --> 01:02:57,983 I have another girl and a boy. 1123 01:02:58,108 --> 01:02:59,985 They live with my second ex-husband in Utah. 1124 01:03:00,110 --> 01:03:02,112 Uh-huh. He rarely sees them, either. 1125 01:03:02,237 --> 01:03:04,323 Mmm-hmm. I wish I felt guilty at least, 1126 01:03:04,448 --> 01:03:06,617 but I don't experience that emotion, 1127 01:03:06,700 --> 01:03:07,993 if I understand it correctly. 1128 01:03:08,077 --> 01:03:09,429 I've played it, of course. 1129 01:03:09,453 --> 01:03:11,181 So you're saying you never feel guilty in real life? 1130 01:03:11,205 --> 01:03:12,414 Not to my knowledge. 1131 01:03:12,539 --> 01:03:14,625 I think because of my history with violent men. 1132 01:03:14,750 --> 01:03:19,254 Starting with my father, brother and uncles. 1133 01:03:19,880 --> 01:03:22,591 There's always already the thing I plan to do next, too. 1134 01:03:23,384 --> 01:03:24,677 Usually, it's a war. 1135 01:03:24,802 --> 01:03:26,762 Nobody can compete with that, can they? 1136 01:03:27,137 --> 01:03:28,555 Probably not. 1137 01:03:29,056 --> 01:03:31,392 I did a uso tour once. It was thrilling. 1138 01:03:33,018 --> 01:03:36,146 I owe my soul to the company store... 1139 01:03:37,564 --> 01:03:39,329 I think I see how I see us. 1140 01:03:40,651 --> 01:03:43,362 I mean, I think I know now what I realize we are. 1141 01:03:43,487 --> 01:03:44,328 Okay. 1142 01:03:44,353 --> 01:03:45,845 Two catastrophically wounded people 1143 01:03:45,870 --> 01:03:48,581 who don't express the depths of their pain because 1144 01:03:49,326 --> 01:03:50,619 we don't want to. 1145 01:03:50,744 --> 01:03:52,037 That's our connection. 1146 01:03:52,162 --> 01:03:53,455 Do you agree? 1147 01:03:59,211 --> 01:04:00,629 Let's, um... 1148 01:04:01,380 --> 01:04:03,173 Let's change the subject, shall we? 1149 01:04:05,092 --> 01:04:06,343 It's open. 1150 01:04:09,722 --> 01:04:11,724 - Hello? - In here. 1151 01:04:15,436 --> 01:04:17,062 Hello? Hello. 1152 01:04:17,187 --> 01:04:18,689 I'm just your neighbor, Stanley zak. 1153 01:04:18,814 --> 01:04:20,524 I wanted to make sure you and your daughter 1154 01:04:20,649 --> 01:04:22,484 have everything you might need at the moment. 1155 01:04:22,609 --> 01:04:24,069 Thank you. I think so. 1156 01:04:24,194 --> 01:04:26,363 What a strange experience this is, isn't it? 1157 01:04:26,488 --> 01:04:28,782 I went to law school with your former agent, by the way. 1158 01:04:28,907 --> 01:04:30,534 Mort? Mort. Yes, mort. 1159 01:04:33,287 --> 01:04:34,955 That came out. 1160 01:04:35,080 --> 01:04:37,166 Yeah, it came out. All my pictures come out. 1161 01:04:39,376 --> 01:04:43,464 Anyway, as I say, we're just across the driveway, 1162 01:04:43,589 --> 01:04:46,216 as my son-in-law seems to have established. 1163 01:04:46,341 --> 01:04:48,552 Send my best wishes to mort and his family. 1164 01:04:48,677 --> 01:04:50,030 I will, if and when we're permitted 1165 01:04:50,054 --> 01:04:51,597 contact with the outside world, 1166 01:04:51,722 --> 01:04:53,849 though I don't speak to him, to tell you the truth. 1167 01:04:55,476 --> 01:04:57,311 I love your hairdo like that. 1168 01:04:57,436 --> 01:04:59,146 Ugh, Christ. 1169 01:05:01,815 --> 01:05:03,710 You see that wonderful crackly-patch 1170 01:05:03,734 --> 01:05:05,253 right out there between the dead cactuses 1171 01:05:05,277 --> 01:05:06,528 and the dried-up riverbed? 1172 01:05:06,653 --> 01:05:08,030 I think so. That's your parcel. 1173 01:05:08,155 --> 01:05:09,698 How much of it do I own? 1174 01:05:09,823 --> 01:05:11,158 Well, it's actually an interesting 1175 01:05:11,283 --> 01:05:12,743 financial mechanism. 1176 01:05:12,868 --> 01:05:15,120 You don't technically own anything outright. 1177 01:05:15,245 --> 01:05:17,790 You own stock in the town in the form of a loan 1178 01:05:17,915 --> 01:05:19,166 with a 50-year maturity rate. 1179 01:05:19,291 --> 01:05:20,477 Then, at the end, the loan is forgiven. 1180 01:05:20,501 --> 01:05:21,752 You dare me? How about water? 1181 01:05:21,877 --> 01:05:23,313 Of course. I understand. 1182 01:05:23,337 --> 01:05:25,137 There isn't any. This is a desert opportunity. 1183 01:05:25,172 --> 01:05:26,507 You dare me? I heard you. 1184 01:05:26,632 --> 01:05:28,232 It's an experiment. I don't care anymore. 1185 01:05:28,300 --> 01:05:30,260 I dare you or I don't dare you. It doesn't matter. 1186 01:05:30,385 --> 01:05:31,970 Do what you wish. I give up. 1187 01:05:41,605 --> 01:05:43,357 What's the cause? 1188 01:05:43,482 --> 01:05:44,942 What's the meaning? 1189 01:05:45,067 --> 01:05:47,069 Why do you always have to dare something? 1190 01:05:51,907 --> 01:05:53,033 I don't know. 1191 01:05:54,868 --> 01:05:57,955 Maybe it's because I'm afraid, 1192 01:05:58,497 --> 01:06:01,250 otherwise, nobody!'Ll 1193 01:06:02,584 --> 01:06:06,922 notice my existence 1194 01:06:08,215 --> 01:06:09,925 in the universe. 1195 01:06:20,811 --> 01:06:21,937 Dare you what? 1196 01:06:22,020 --> 01:06:23,605 Yes, dare you what? 1197 01:06:24,773 --> 01:06:26,441 To climb that cactus out there. 1198 01:06:26,567 --> 01:06:28,026 Lord, no. No. Please don't. 1199 01:06:31,029 --> 01:06:32,531 Hello. 1200 01:06:32,656 --> 01:06:34,408 Hello. Hello. 1201 01:06:34,533 --> 01:06:36,660 We met before. I'm the mother of that cookie trooper 1202 01:06:36,785 --> 01:06:38,537 who idolizes you. I know. 1203 01:06:38,662 --> 01:06:41,456 Thought you might not recognize me out of uniform. 1204 01:06:41,582 --> 01:06:43,125 You were very good in the one 1205 01:06:43,250 --> 01:06:45,061 about the tramp in the brothel who gets amnesia 1206 01:06:45,085 --> 01:06:46,688 and becomes a pediatrician. Thank you. Thank you. 1207 01:06:46,712 --> 01:06:48,189 You were very authentic. That's actually maybe 1208 01:06:48,213 --> 01:06:49,607 my favorite character I've ever played. 1209 01:06:49,631 --> 01:06:51,133 I don't know why nobody else liked it. 1210 01:06:51,258 --> 01:06:52,843 Oh. Yes. Me, neither. 1211 01:06:52,968 --> 01:06:54,595 Thank you. Some people liked it. 1212 01:06:54,720 --> 01:06:56,471 Oh, I'm sure. I did. 1213 01:06:56,597 --> 01:06:57,890 Who hit you? 1214 01:07:02,352 --> 01:07:04,563 Am I not in this? 1215 01:07:07,065 --> 01:07:09,151 Excuse me. I'm not in this. 1216 01:07:09,276 --> 01:07:10,861 Um, who hit you? 1217 01:07:10,986 --> 01:07:12,988 It's on the other eye. It's greasepaint. 1218 01:07:13,113 --> 01:07:14,573 Some people did... Do like it. 1219 01:07:14,698 --> 01:07:16,200 Oh, I'm sure. 1220 01:07:16,283 --> 01:07:18,911 I thought it might have been your second ex-husband in Utah. 1221 01:07:31,798 --> 01:07:33,926 If I sleep on a cot instead of the sofa bed, 1222 01:07:34,009 --> 01:07:35,153 that might leave room for me to set up 1223 01:07:35,177 --> 01:07:36,372 a darkroom in the pool house. 1224 01:07:36,614 --> 01:07:38,138 Is that possible as a compromise? 1225 01:07:38,263 --> 01:07:39,657 It depends on the measurements. 1226 01:07:39,681 --> 01:07:41,683 It's not that big. I can actually carpool the girls 1227 01:07:41,767 --> 01:07:43,518 to school by golf cart, you know. 1228 01:07:43,644 --> 01:07:45,062 If I cut across the 14th tee. 1229 01:07:45,187 --> 01:07:46,706 Oh, it's that close to the elementary? 1230 01:07:46,730 --> 01:07:48,570 How can you two even think about this? 1231 01:07:48,607 --> 01:07:50,859 The world will never be the same. 1232 01:07:50,984 --> 01:07:53,111 What happens next? Nobody knows. 1233 01:07:53,237 --> 01:07:55,030 Will he visit us again? Will he speak to us? 1234 01:07:55,155 --> 01:07:57,157 What will he say? Why did he steal our asteroid? 1235 01:07:57,282 --> 01:07:59,451 Was it ours in the first place? Does he like us? 1236 01:07:59,576 --> 01:08:01,161 Nobody knows. That's true. 1237 01:08:01,286 --> 01:08:03,747 What's out there? Something. 1238 01:08:03,872 --> 01:08:06,250 The meaning of life. Maybe there is one. 1239 01:08:06,333 --> 01:08:08,252 I hope you're still episcopalian. 1240 01:08:09,127 --> 01:08:11,004 You took his picture, dad. 1241 01:08:15,300 --> 01:08:16,802 I'm a photographer. 1242 01:08:21,640 --> 01:08:23,225 Episcopalian? 1243 01:08:32,025 --> 01:08:33,610 You really want us, Stanley? 1244 01:08:33,735 --> 01:08:35,696 No, but you need me. 1245 01:08:36,655 --> 01:08:38,198 She did love me, you know. 1246 01:08:38,323 --> 01:08:39,950 Who says she didn't? 1247 01:08:40,075 --> 01:08:42,035 I've been on my own for 12 years, after all. 1248 01:08:42,160 --> 01:08:44,621 And remember, my wife drank herself to death. 1249 01:08:44,746 --> 01:08:47,165 "Drank herself to..." I don't know what that means. 1250 01:08:48,250 --> 01:08:51,545 In my loneliness, or perhaps because of it, 1251 01:08:51,670 --> 01:08:53,839 I've learned not to judge people, 1252 01:08:53,964 --> 01:08:56,925 to take people as I find them, not as others find them, 1253 01:08:57,426 --> 01:08:59,344 and most of all, to give complete 1254 01:08:59,469 --> 01:09:02,431 and unquestioning faith to the people I love. 1255 01:09:02,556 --> 01:09:04,516 I don't know if that includes you, 1256 01:09:05,058 --> 01:09:08,020 but it included my daughter and your four children, 1257 01:09:08,603 --> 01:09:10,105 so you're welcome to stay with me 1258 01:09:10,230 --> 01:09:12,566 for as long as you wish, whether I like it or not. 1259 01:09:12,691 --> 01:09:14,276 Which I don't, by the way. 1260 01:09:18,196 --> 01:09:19,990 Stop helping us. 1261 01:09:20,115 --> 01:09:21,742 We're in grief. 1262 01:09:21,867 --> 01:09:25,329 He rides in the sun till his day's work is done 1263 01:09:25,454 --> 01:09:26,955 me, too. 1264 01:09:27,080 --> 01:09:30,834 And he rounds up the cattle each fall 1265 01:09:36,173 --> 01:09:39,885 Singing his cattle call... 1266 01:09:40,010 --> 01:09:42,095 Are you planning to abandon us? 1267 01:09:46,600 --> 01:09:49,186 I was, as a temporary measure. 1268 01:09:49,269 --> 01:09:50,562 What? But I decided against it. 1269 01:09:50,687 --> 01:09:52,773 I knew it. I sensed it. I didn't. 1270 01:09:52,856 --> 01:09:54,649 I'm not the wet nurse. I'm their grandfather. 1271 01:09:54,733 --> 01:09:56,336 I would've hired a babysitter in addition to you. 1272 01:09:56,360 --> 01:09:58,153 I'm not planning to abandon you anymore, 1273 01:09:58,278 --> 01:09:59,571 even as a temporary measure, 1274 01:09:59,696 --> 01:10:01,490 which is all it ever would've been. 1275 01:10:03,575 --> 01:10:05,452 I forgive you for considering it. 1276 01:10:32,229 --> 01:10:33,736 Evening, soldier. 1277 01:10:34,606 --> 01:10:36,191 Can I ask you to stick this dime 1278 01:10:36,274 --> 01:10:38,151 in the pay phone for me, please? 1279 01:10:38,235 --> 01:10:40,955 All public telephone service has been suspended until further notice. 1280 01:10:40,987 --> 01:10:42,280 - I know it. - The thing is, 1281 01:10:42,406 --> 01:10:43,990 right before the hubbub yesterday, 1282 01:10:44,116 --> 01:10:45,956 I made a trunk call to my cousin long-distance, 1283 01:10:46,076 --> 01:10:47,702 and the operator let me owe the surcharge 1284 01:10:47,828 --> 01:10:49,579 because all I had was three pennies. 1285 01:10:49,704 --> 01:10:52,499 I don't feel right stealing from the telephone company. 1286 01:11:24,406 --> 01:11:25,883 Although it might convey a different meaning 1287 01:11:25,907 --> 01:11:27,451 on his planet. It's true. 1288 01:11:27,534 --> 01:11:28,994 If he even has a planet, by the way. 1289 01:11:29,119 --> 01:11:30,328 He might be nomadic. 1290 01:11:30,454 --> 01:11:32,706 Operator? Kismet-9770. 1291 01:11:32,789 --> 01:11:34,038 - Station to station. - Stay on the line. 1292 01:11:34,069 --> 01:11:35,194 Thank you. 1293 01:11:39,921 --> 01:11:41,149 Hello? Who's calling? 1294 01:11:41,173 --> 01:11:43,175 Good evening, Mrs. Weatherford. It's Ricky Cho. 1295 01:11:43,300 --> 01:11:45,220 - May I have a word with... - Ricky, it's after 9:00. 1296 01:11:45,302 --> 01:11:46,662 He's already drinking his ovaltine. 1297 01:11:46,761 --> 01:11:48,013 Can't this wait until tomorrow? 1298 01:11:48,138 --> 01:11:49,639 I'm afraid not, Mrs. Weatherford. 1299 01:11:49,764 --> 01:11:51,266 I-I wouldn't disturb you if it weren't 1300 01:11:51,391 --> 01:11:53,435 of the utmost importance to the weekly bobcat. 1301 01:11:53,560 --> 01:11:55,812 I just need a minute of his time. 1302 01:11:55,937 --> 01:11:57,522 All right, Ricky. Hold the line. 1303 01:11:57,939 --> 01:11:59,459 Some kind of romance between the two of you? 1304 01:11:59,483 --> 01:12:00,901 Skip, Ricky Cho! What? Who? 1305 01:12:01,026 --> 01:12:02,277 Who? You. Who? 1306 01:12:02,402 --> 01:12:03,612 - You know who. - Us? 1307 01:12:03,737 --> 01:12:04,988 We only met yesterday. 1308 01:12:05,113 --> 01:12:06,299 I feel she doesn't like me in that way. 1309 01:12:06,323 --> 01:12:07,758 Uh-huh. Well, I think you're pretty smart, 1310 01:12:07,782 --> 01:12:09,034 but I think you're pretty dumb. 1311 01:12:09,159 --> 01:12:10,285 Hello? Shh, shh. Hold it. 1312 01:12:10,410 --> 01:12:12,329 Skip? Ricky. We got a scoop. 1313 01:12:21,254 --> 01:12:24,549 The first hints of the future existence of Asteroid City 1314 01:12:24,674 --> 01:12:26,718 were revealed during a special seminar 1315 01:12:26,801 --> 01:12:28,929 scheduled at the playwright's request. 1316 01:12:29,054 --> 01:12:31,389 Conrad Earp, how can we help you? 1317 01:12:31,515 --> 01:12:33,600 Well, the thing is, Saltzie, I'd like to make a scene 1318 01:12:33,725 --> 01:12:36,811 where all my characters are each gently, privately seduced 1319 01:12:36,937 --> 01:12:39,272 into the deepest, dreamiest slumber of their lives 1320 01:12:39,397 --> 01:12:41,274 as a result of their shared experience 1321 01:12:41,399 --> 01:12:44,110 of a bewildering and bedazzling celestial mystery. 1322 01:12:44,236 --> 01:12:46,696 A sleeping scene. A scene of sleep. 1323 01:12:46,821 --> 01:12:48,198 But I don't know how to write it. 1324 01:12:48,323 --> 01:12:50,367 Yet. Yet. 1325 01:12:50,492 --> 01:12:52,118 I thought, perhaps, if you 1326 01:12:52,244 --> 01:12:55,205 and your wonderfully talented pupils just improvise, 1327 01:12:55,330 --> 01:12:57,415 something might reveal itself. 1328 01:12:57,541 --> 01:12:59,626 Who wasn't going to be famous? 1329 01:12:59,751 --> 01:13:01,127 On any given day, 1330 01:13:01,211 --> 01:13:03,505 roll call in saltzburg keitel's classroom 1331 01:13:03,630 --> 01:13:07,509 was a now dazzling list of undiscovered luminaries... 1332 01:13:07,634 --> 01:13:09,261 Linus mao. 1333 01:13:09,386 --> 01:13:11,012 Lucretia shaver. 1334 01:13:11,137 --> 01:13:12,847 Walter Geronimo. 1335 01:13:12,973 --> 01:13:14,349 Asquith Eden. 1336 01:13:14,474 --> 01:13:16,059 Mercedes Ford. 1337 01:13:16,184 --> 01:13:18,937 Even, unofficially, Jones hall. 1338 01:13:19,896 --> 01:13:22,065 What's it about, the play? 1339 01:13:23,135 --> 01:13:25,902 Infinity, and I don't know what else. 1340 01:13:26,270 --> 01:13:27,521 Is there a title? 1341 01:13:27,654 --> 01:13:28,599 I'm torn. 1342 01:13:29,068 --> 01:13:31,241 Maybe the Cosmic Wilderness. 1343 01:13:31,366 --> 01:13:32,617 Do you like that one? 1344 01:13:32,906 --> 01:13:34,167 Not really. 1345 01:13:34,632 --> 01:13:35,704 What's the alternative? 1346 01:13:35,829 --> 01:13:37,080 Title, I mean. 1347 01:13:37,205 --> 01:13:38,599 Well, it's the name of the small town 1348 01:13:38,623 --> 01:13:40,142 on the california/nevada/ Arizona desert 1349 01:13:40,166 --> 01:13:41,793 where the story takes place. 1350 01:13:41,918 --> 01:13:46,089 Okay. Who here has ever actually fallen asleep onstage 1351 01:13:46,214 --> 01:13:48,967 during a live performance in front of a paying audience? 1352 01:13:49,092 --> 01:13:50,844 Me. 1353 01:13:50,969 --> 01:13:53,447 I spent the first three-quarters of act two of the welterweight 1354 01:13:53,471 --> 01:13:55,223 on a massage table with no lines 1355 01:13:55,307 --> 01:13:57,225 till the last minute and a half. 1356 01:13:57,350 --> 01:13:59,686 One night, I nodded off. 1357 01:13:59,811 --> 01:14:01,980 - On purpose, you did this? - No. 1358 01:14:02,105 --> 01:14:04,691 - Did you miss your cue? - Almost. 1359 01:14:04,816 --> 01:14:07,527 I heard it, and I woke up very scared, 1360 01:14:07,611 --> 01:14:08,820 but I knew my lines. 1361 01:14:08,945 --> 01:14:10,548 - Good morning, Schubert. - Good morning, Saltzie. 1362 01:14:10,572 --> 01:14:11,990 What brings you here today? 1363 01:14:12,115 --> 01:14:13,533 We haven't seen you in six weeks. 1364 01:14:13,658 --> 01:14:15,660 Lavender and lemons opened last night 1365 01:14:15,785 --> 01:14:18,496 to very good. I might say raves, by the way. 1366 01:14:18,622 --> 01:14:20,040 I'm available. 1367 01:14:21,833 --> 01:14:23,960 What did he teach? Example. 1368 01:14:24,085 --> 01:14:26,004 Sleep, it's not death. 1369 01:14:26,129 --> 01:14:28,089 The body keeps busy, breathing air, 1370 01:14:28,214 --> 01:14:29,716 pumping blood, thinking. 1371 01:14:29,841 --> 01:14:32,052 Maybe you pay a visit to your dead mother. 1372 01:14:32,177 --> 01:14:34,971 Maybe you go to bed with your ex-wife or husband. 1373 01:14:35,096 --> 01:14:36,640 Maybe you climb the matterhorn. 1374 01:14:36,765 --> 01:14:38,683 Connie, you wake up with a new scene 1375 01:14:38,808 --> 01:14:40,810 three-quarters written in your head already. 1376 01:14:40,935 --> 01:14:43,438 Schubert, you wake up with a hangover. 1377 01:14:43,563 --> 01:14:45,148 Important things happen. 1378 01:14:45,273 --> 01:14:47,233 Is there something to play? I think so. 1379 01:14:47,359 --> 01:14:49,944 Let's work on the scene from the outside in. 1380 01:14:50,070 --> 01:14:51,363 Be inert. 1381 01:14:51,488 --> 01:14:52,739 Then dream. 1382 01:14:56,785 --> 01:14:58,453 Where are we, Connie? And when? 1383 01:14:58,578 --> 01:14:59,663 Talk to us. 1384 01:14:59,788 --> 01:15:01,122 Yes. All right. 1385 01:15:01,247 --> 01:15:02,666 One week later. 1386 01:15:02,791 --> 01:15:04,626 Our cast of characters' already tenuous 1387 01:15:04,751 --> 01:15:07,504 grasp of reality has further slipped in quarantine, 1388 01:15:07,629 --> 01:15:09,547 and the group begins to occupy a space 1389 01:15:09,673 --> 01:15:11,841 of the most peculiar emotional dimensions. 1390 01:15:11,966 --> 01:15:13,843 Meanwhile, the information blockade 1391 01:15:13,968 --> 01:15:15,845 spearheaded by general grif Gibson 1392 01:15:15,970 --> 01:15:17,722 has been, it appears, 1393 01:15:18,390 --> 01:15:19,808 incomplete. 1394 01:15:53,425 --> 01:15:55,760 Extra! Extra! Late edition! 1395 01:15:55,885 --> 01:15:57,429 Extra! Extra! 1396 01:15:57,554 --> 01:15:59,180 Late edition! 1397 01:16:04,269 --> 01:16:06,896 I hope you're aware, you and your accomplices may still face 1398 01:16:07,021 --> 01:16:09,315 felony prosecution, possibly even a treason charge. 1399 01:16:09,441 --> 01:16:11,651 I'll fight it all the way to the supreme court, 1400 01:16:11,776 --> 01:16:13,945 if necessary, and win. 1401 01:16:14,070 --> 01:16:16,281 This just in, from the president. 1402 01:16:17,449 --> 01:16:19,576 He's furious. Thanks a lot, Ricky. 1403 01:16:19,659 --> 01:16:21,259 I don't know what to say, general Gibson. 1404 01:16:21,286 --> 01:16:22,996 I'm sorry. Don't apologize, dad. 1405 01:16:23,121 --> 01:16:24,789 The public has a right to the truth. 1406 01:16:24,914 --> 01:16:27,125 You made your point. This tribunal is a mockery! 1407 01:16:27,250 --> 01:16:28,936 What about Steenbeck, who took the photograph? 1408 01:16:28,960 --> 01:16:30,896 It's on the front page of every newspaper on the planet. 1409 01:16:30,920 --> 01:16:33,131 Can't we arrest him, as well? Unfortunately, no. 1410 01:16:33,256 --> 01:16:34,799 He dropped a print in the mail 1411 01:16:34,924 --> 01:16:36,569 to his photo agency first thing Tuesday morning, 1412 01:16:36,593 --> 01:16:38,803 and the postman got it before we did. He's innocent. 1413 01:16:38,928 --> 01:16:40,848 Supposedly, he did a nude of Midge Campbell, too. 1414 01:16:40,889 --> 01:16:42,807 Midge Campbell? Ooh, Midge Campbell. 1415 01:16:44,434 --> 01:16:46,203 As you know, boys and girls, your parents arrived 1416 01:16:46,227 --> 01:16:48,146 late last night by military helicopter. 1417 01:16:48,229 --> 01:16:49,665 They've been sequestered in that metal hut over there 1418 01:16:49,689 --> 01:16:51,292 for the past several hours while the government scientists 1419 01:16:51,316 --> 01:16:52,650 explain the situation to them, 1420 01:16:52,776 --> 01:16:54,336 although everything's already in the newspapers. 1421 01:16:54,360 --> 01:16:56,005 It's my understanding they're about to go onto 1422 01:16:56,029 --> 01:16:57,715 this closed-circuit television set at any moment. 1423 01:16:57,739 --> 01:16:59,657 Everything's connected, but nothing's working. 1424 01:17:00,200 --> 01:17:02,952 Let's carry on with the lesson plan, then. Billy? 1425 01:17:03,077 --> 01:17:04,662 I did the alien's flying saucer 1426 01:17:04,788 --> 01:17:06,998 with a hubcap and a chicken pot pie tin. 1427 01:17:07,415 --> 01:17:09,542 Good work. Very accurate. 1428 01:17:09,667 --> 01:17:11,085 Jupiter, fifth planet from the sun, 1429 01:17:11,211 --> 01:17:12,504 largest in our solar system... 1430 01:17:12,629 --> 01:17:13,880 Yes, Bernice? 1431 01:17:14,005 --> 01:17:16,049 I did the alien on his home planet. 1432 01:17:17,383 --> 01:17:19,552 Well done. How wonderful. 1433 01:17:20,136 --> 01:17:22,096 Due to extreme atmospheric conditions, 1434 01:17:22,180 --> 01:17:24,933 an anticyclonic storm has raged on Jupiter's surface for over... 1435 01:17:25,058 --> 01:17:26,142 Yes, Dwight? 1436 01:17:26,267 --> 01:17:27,894 I wrote a song about him. 1437 01:17:30,209 --> 01:17:32,190 This may not be the time for a musical performance. 1438 01:17:32,315 --> 01:17:33,275 Let's... 1439 01:17:34,321 --> 01:17:35,276 Yes, Montana? 1440 01:17:35,401 --> 01:17:36,653 Pardon the interruption, June. 1441 01:17:36,778 --> 01:17:38,029 The boys and I heard old Dwight 1442 01:17:38,154 --> 01:17:39,489 was scribbling up a little warble, 1443 01:17:39,614 --> 01:17:41,115 so we learned ourselves to play it. 1444 01:17:48,429 --> 01:17:50,375 One, two, three. 1445 01:17:50,500 --> 01:17:52,377 Howadly-Dee... 1446 01:17:53,127 --> 01:17:55,171 Howadly-Dee... 1447 01:18:20,363 --> 01:18:23,324 Howdly-Dee, howdly-Dee 1448 01:18:23,449 --> 01:18:27,120 Howadly-Dee howadly-Dee 1449 01:18:27,245 --> 01:18:30,498 howdly-Dee, howdly-Dee 1450 01:18:30,623 --> 01:18:34,210 howdly-Dee, howdly-Dee come on, y'all! 1451 01:18:34,335 --> 01:18:36,170 Hop on one foot, skip on two 1452 01:18:36,296 --> 01:18:38,047 dance the spaceman howdly-do 1453 01:18:38,172 --> 01:18:39,883 bounce on four foot spring on three 1454 01:18:40,008 --> 01:18:41,426 let's be spacemen howadly-Dee 1455 01:18:41,551 --> 01:18:45,305 howdly-Dee, howdly-Dee 1456 01:18:47,348 --> 01:18:49,434 this was on an old roll I forgot to develop 1457 01:18:49,559 --> 01:18:51,269 in the glove box. 1458 01:18:51,394 --> 01:18:53,479 "Self-portrait with shrapnel." 1459 01:19:00,778 --> 01:19:02,280 Do page 45. 1460 01:19:13,041 --> 01:19:14,751 "What have you done? How could you?" 1461 01:19:14,876 --> 01:19:16,141 It says "shouting and crying." 1462 01:19:16,532 --> 01:19:18,336 - So shout and cry. - "How could you!" 1463 01:19:20,423 --> 01:19:21,501 "How couldn't I?" 1464 01:19:21,526 --> 01:19:23,259 "How couldn't you?" 1465 01:19:23,843 --> 01:19:24,928 "That's what I'm asking." 1466 01:19:25,011 --> 01:19:26,971 "It was over already. You were free. 1467 01:19:27,096 --> 01:19:28,848 "What's the point of committing suicide 1468 01:19:28,973 --> 01:19:31,267 "when there's nothing left to escape?" 1469 01:19:32,518 --> 01:19:34,516 "Maybe that was the problem all along." 1470 01:19:35,024 --> 01:19:36,305 "Stares for a moment." 1471 01:19:38,107 --> 01:19:40,067 And then it says I smash everything off the shelf. 1472 01:19:40,109 --> 01:19:41,527 So smash everything off the shelf. 1473 01:19:45,907 --> 01:19:47,617 "Such a sickening waste. 1474 01:19:47,742 --> 01:19:50,453 "Think of the people. Think of the places. 1475 01:19:50,578 --> 01:19:52,580 "Think of the world..." Use your grief. 1476 01:19:53,289 --> 01:19:55,541 For a rehearsal? I'm not even in this picture. 1477 01:19:55,667 --> 01:19:57,377 I'm a war photographer. 1478 01:19:57,502 --> 01:19:58,878 Use your grief. 1479 01:20:00,546 --> 01:20:01,839 All right. 1480 01:20:05,385 --> 01:20:07,178 "Such a sickening waste. 1481 01:20:09,430 --> 01:20:13,017 "Think of the people. Think of the places. 1482 01:20:13,142 --> 01:20:16,104 "Think of the world you could have seen, Dolores." 1483 01:20:18,356 --> 01:20:19,857 “I've already seen it." 1484 01:20:21,109 --> 01:20:23,903 She still is... Uh, is-is she a ghost? 1485 01:20:26,990 --> 01:20:28,658 It's not clear. 1486 01:20:30,910 --> 01:20:32,537 Then the, uh... the... 1487 01:20:33,705 --> 01:20:35,766 Then the coroner comes in, orders me out of the room. 1488 01:20:35,790 --> 01:20:37,625 I slowly turn away and close the door. 1489 01:20:37,709 --> 01:20:38,751 Scene. 1490 01:20:38,835 --> 01:20:40,169 My sandwich is burning. 1491 01:20:56,060 --> 01:20:57,562 My daughter saw us. 1492 01:20:57,687 --> 01:20:58,896 What? 1493 01:20:59,175 --> 01:21:00,732 Dinah saw us. 1494 01:21:00,857 --> 01:21:03,109 Through this window, in your bedroom yesterday. 1495 01:21:12,410 --> 01:21:14,746 Did you, uh, tell her we were rehearsing again? 1496 01:21:16,330 --> 01:21:18,416 I didn't think of that. I should've. 1497 01:21:18,541 --> 01:21:20,877 But it's too late, because I admitted everything. 1498 01:21:22,420 --> 01:21:23,963 Did she tell Woodrow? 1499 01:21:25,339 --> 01:21:26,466 Hard to say. 1500 01:21:26,591 --> 01:21:28,051 She can keep a secret. 1501 01:21:28,176 --> 01:21:29,552 I don't know if she will. 1502 01:21:32,847 --> 01:21:35,349 This isn't the beginning of something, Augie. 1503 01:21:35,850 --> 01:21:37,143 Isn't it? 1504 01:21:38,519 --> 01:21:39,771 Is it? 1505 01:21:40,646 --> 01:21:41,689 Probably not. 1506 01:21:41,773 --> 01:21:43,066 Unless maybe it is. 1507 01:21:43,357 --> 01:21:45,276 I don't like the way that guy looked at us. 1508 01:21:45,359 --> 01:21:46,861 What guy? The alien. 1509 01:21:47,515 --> 01:21:48,362 How did he... 1510 01:21:48,488 --> 01:21:50,114 - How did he look at us? - Like we're doomed. 1511 01:21:53,076 --> 01:21:54,535 Maybe we are. 1512 01:22:00,875 --> 01:22:02,460 What did you just do? 1513 01:22:02,585 --> 01:22:04,104 I burned my hand on the quicky-griddle. 1514 01:22:04,128 --> 01:22:05,922 - Why? - It's not clear. 1515 01:22:06,047 --> 01:22:07,381 Show me. 1516 01:22:08,841 --> 01:22:10,676 You really did it. 1517 01:22:10,802 --> 01:22:12,178 That actually happened. 1518 01:22:22,355 --> 01:22:23,648 Pull. 1519 01:22:30,071 --> 01:22:32,240 How long can they keep us in Asteroid City? 1520 01:22:32,365 --> 01:22:33,741 Legally, I mean. 1521 01:22:33,866 --> 01:22:35,159 Well, I'm not an attorney, 1522 01:22:35,284 --> 01:22:36,828 but I'd say as long as they like. 1523 01:22:36,953 --> 01:22:38,347 I think we'd have to file an injunction 1524 01:22:38,371 --> 01:22:40,390 and successfully argue the case. Six months to a year? 1525 01:22:40,414 --> 01:22:41,725 Of course, we'd also need to initiate 1526 01:22:41,749 --> 01:22:43,126 a civil suit for loss of income. 1527 01:22:43,251 --> 01:22:44,919 Maybe we should just walk out right now. 1528 01:22:45,044 --> 01:22:47,797 I'm not sure they could stop us without killing somebody. 1529 01:22:47,922 --> 01:22:49,549 Interesting idea. 1530 01:22:49,674 --> 01:22:52,051 What kind of mileage you think that jet pack gets? 1531 01:22:52,176 --> 01:22:53,427 Ask Roger or his son. 1532 01:22:53,553 --> 01:22:54,971 Apparently, he's being prosecuted 1533 01:22:55,056 --> 01:22:56,474 for revealing state secrets. 1534 01:22:56,639 --> 01:22:58,399 - They'll never make it stick. - I'm in no hurry. 1535 01:22:58,516 --> 01:23:00,434 I like the desert. I like aliens. 1536 01:23:00,560 --> 01:23:01,528 Pull. 1537 01:23:02,103 --> 01:23:03,479 How'd you get that back? 1538 01:23:03,604 --> 01:23:04,998 The projects remain under secure lockdown. 1539 01:23:05,022 --> 01:23:06,649 No stargazer is permitted personal access 1540 01:23:06,732 --> 01:23:07,876 without the express permission... 1541 01:23:07,900 --> 01:23:09,140 My son invented this death ray. 1542 01:23:09,193 --> 01:23:10,462 That may be true, but my orders are... 1543 01:23:10,486 --> 01:23:11,863 - Step back. - Easy, fellas. 1544 01:23:11,988 --> 01:23:13,715 - We're not in Guadalcanal anymore. - Okay, okay, okay. 1545 01:23:13,739 --> 01:23:15,509 Everyone, please. It's been a difficult quarantine. 1546 01:23:15,533 --> 01:23:17,177 I'll zap you right now! You stole your projects! 1547 01:23:17,201 --> 01:23:18,971 Goddamn it, tell them to stand down! 1548 01:23:18,995 --> 01:23:19,996 Stand down! You hear that? 1549 01:23:20,079 --> 01:23:21,390 General Gibson says, "stand down." 1550 01:23:21,414 --> 01:23:22,790 - You married? - Of course. 1551 01:23:22,915 --> 01:23:24,795 We'll reconfiscate the projects at a later time. 1552 01:23:24,917 --> 01:23:26,127 Probably after dinner. 1553 01:23:27,211 --> 01:23:28,379 Try it. 1554 01:23:31,132 --> 01:23:32,717 Tab Hunter, Doris Day, out, 1555 01:23:32,842 --> 01:23:34,802 Jack the Ripper, out, Bing Crosby, Shirley Temple, 1556 01:23:34,886 --> 01:23:36,846 out, out, Orson Welles, Lucille Ball, out, 1557 01:23:36,971 --> 01:23:39,015 Marlon Brando, out, Queen Elizabeth, Mickey Mantle, 1558 01:23:39,140 --> 01:23:40,725 out, out, Yul Brynner, Louis Armstrong, 1559 01:23:40,850 --> 01:23:43,227 out, Lana Turner, out, Betty Grable, Ella Fitzgerald, 1560 01:23:43,352 --> 01:23:45,688 out, out, Rock Hudson, out, Jerry Lewis, out, out, 1561 01:23:45,813 --> 01:23:47,857 Greta Garbo, Karl Marx, out, Joan of Arc, out, 1562 01:23:47,982 --> 01:23:49,567 Charles Darwin, Walter Pidgeon, out, 1563 01:23:49,692 --> 01:23:51,569 Emily Dickinson, Galileo, out, out, 1564 01:23:51,694 --> 01:23:53,505 Pontius Pilate, out, Ernest Hemingway, Jackie O... 1565 01:23:53,529 --> 01:23:55,489 Who's responsible for stealing my radio telescope, 1566 01:23:55,531 --> 01:23:57,158 my signal processing receiver 1567 01:23:57,283 --> 01:23:59,368 and my entire spectrographical monitoring network? 1568 01:24:01,329 --> 01:24:03,247 They're trying to contact the alien. 1569 01:24:03,372 --> 01:24:06,167 Well, I appreciate that, but what about Dr. Hickenlooper? 1570 01:24:06,292 --> 01:24:09,086 If you're trying to contact the alien, include me. 1571 01:24:09,212 --> 01:24:11,172 Did you hear anything from him so far? 1572 01:24:12,924 --> 01:24:14,800 What's all this? 1573 01:24:14,926 --> 01:24:17,053 I put the American flag just to be patriotic. 1574 01:24:17,178 --> 01:24:18,804 Now we need to really mean something. 1575 01:24:18,930 --> 01:24:20,848 A universal message, not only to earthlings. 1576 01:24:20,973 --> 01:24:22,993 We already thought of everything we could think of... 1577 01:24:23,017 --> 01:24:24,560 A cross, a star, a four-leaf clover, 1578 01:24:24,685 --> 01:24:26,270 letters, numbers, hieroglyphics. 1579 01:24:26,395 --> 01:24:28,165 What's the point of projecting a star onto the moon? 1580 01:24:28,189 --> 01:24:29,398 - Exactly. - I ask that sincerely. 1581 01:24:29,523 --> 01:24:30,803 How about "E equals mc-squared"? 1582 01:24:30,858 --> 01:24:31,919 - I still think it's... - They know that. 1583 01:24:31,943 --> 01:24:33,003 - It's too easy. - This is our chance 1584 01:24:33,027 --> 01:24:35,529 to be actually worthwhile in our lifetimes. 1585 01:24:35,613 --> 01:24:37,240 I see what you mean. 1586 01:24:37,365 --> 01:24:39,158 -Whose turn was it? - The middle of mine. 1587 01:24:39,283 --> 01:24:40,910 I'd better start over. 1588 01:24:41,327 --> 01:24:42,763 Cleopatra, Jagadish... A word, Woodrow. 1589 01:24:42,787 --> 01:24:45,206 About the settings on the spectrograph. 1590 01:24:45,331 --> 01:24:46,791 Over here, if you wouldn't mind. 1591 01:24:46,916 --> 01:24:48,477 ...Kurt Gédel, William Henry Bragg... 1592 01:24:48,501 --> 01:24:50,395 The, warning label indicates 1593 01:24:50,419 --> 01:24:51,420 that the... 1594 01:24:54,548 --> 01:24:57,051 It's all worthwhile in your lifetime. 1595 01:24:57,176 --> 01:24:58,803 - This, I mean. - Okay. 1596 01:24:58,928 --> 01:25:00,888 Your curiosity is your most important asset. 1597 01:25:00,972 --> 01:25:02,223 - Trust it. - Okay. 1598 01:25:02,306 --> 01:25:03,557 - Trust your curiosity. - Okay. 1599 01:25:03,641 --> 01:25:06,102 The resources of my lab will always be available to you. 1600 01:25:06,185 --> 01:25:07,770 After this thing is over, I mean. 1601 01:25:07,895 --> 01:25:09,748 You could maybe sort of be my protégé, if you like. 1602 01:25:10,107 --> 01:25:11,023 Maybe we can prove 1603 01:25:11,148 --> 01:25:12,542 the hypothesis of celestial flirtation 1604 01:25:12,566 --> 01:25:13,794 and get the math right finally. 1605 01:25:14,341 --> 01:25:15,372 Let's try. 1606 01:25:15,443 --> 01:25:17,029 I think I see the dots from space 1607 01:25:17,154 --> 01:25:18,572 burned into your eyeballs. 1608 01:25:21,826 --> 01:25:23,327 I'm sorry about your mother. 1609 01:25:23,452 --> 01:25:25,830 I miss mine, too, and she died 46 years ago. 1610 01:25:27,456 --> 01:25:28,749 Thank you. 1611 01:25:31,794 --> 01:25:33,434 I've already petitioned the state assembly 1612 01:25:33,504 --> 01:25:35,548 to change the name of the town from Asteroid City 1613 01:25:35,673 --> 01:25:37,258 to alien landing, USA. 1614 01:25:37,383 --> 01:25:39,844 This municipality might end up being the center 1615 01:25:39,969 --> 01:25:42,930 of a vast community of stargazers and space cadets. 1616 01:25:43,055 --> 01:25:45,850 It's a historic offering. 1617 01:25:51,314 --> 01:25:53,774 As you know, the Asteroid Day Itinerary 1618 01:25:53,858 --> 01:25:55,026 had to be suspended last week 1619 01:25:55,109 --> 01:25:57,653 due to the factual reality of our circumstances. 1620 01:25:57,737 --> 01:25:59,572 However, I have an announcement to make. 1621 01:25:59,655 --> 01:26:01,407 Dr. Hickenlooper and the Military-Science 1622 01:26:01,490 --> 01:26:02,992 Research and Experimentation Division, 1623 01:26:03,075 --> 01:26:04,720 in conjunction with the Larkings Foundation, 1624 01:26:04,744 --> 01:26:06,996 have officially selected a recipient 1625 01:26:07,121 --> 01:26:09,081 for this year's Hickenlooper scholarship, 1626 01:26:09,749 --> 01:26:12,251 and you're all going home first thing tomorrow morning. 1627 01:26:12,418 --> 01:26:14,253 The president has opted to lift the quarantine 1628 01:26:14,378 --> 01:26:15,921 by executive decree. 1629 01:26:18,758 --> 01:26:20,343 I'd like to take this opportunity, 1630 01:26:20,468 --> 01:26:22,345 and, by the way, all of this year's projects, 1631 01:26:22,470 --> 01:26:26,098 setting aside my own differences of opinion with Ricky Cho, 1632 01:26:26,182 --> 01:26:28,559 were of the very highest caliber, without exception, 1633 01:26:28,988 --> 01:26:31,395 to officially declare... 1634 01:26:31,520 --> 01:26:32,873 - What's happening now? - Scholarship... 1635 01:26:32,897 --> 01:26:34,166 - What's happening now? - I don't know. 1636 01:26:34,190 --> 01:26:35,649 It's today again. 1637 01:27:09,850 --> 01:27:11,227 It's been inventoried. 1638 01:27:16,107 --> 01:27:17,233 Under the provisions of 1639 01:27:17,358 --> 01:27:19,086 National Security Emergency Scrimmage Plan X, 1640 01:27:19,110 --> 01:27:20,921 the lifting of the quarantine which I just announced 1641 01:27:20,945 --> 01:27:22,863 is now canceled or at least postponed 1642 01:27:22,988 --> 01:27:25,408 due to the unexpected new event which just... 1643 01:27:53,102 --> 01:27:55,688 Why does Augie burn his hand on the quicky-griddle? 1644 01:27:56,272 --> 01:27:58,023 I still don't understand the play. 1645 01:27:59,692 --> 01:28:00,860 What? 1646 01:28:09,535 --> 01:28:11,036 Where are you going? 1647 01:28:12,329 --> 01:28:13,747 I'll be right back. 1648 01:28:14,957 --> 01:28:17,751 I don't play him as an alien, actually. I play him as a metaphor. 1649 01:28:17,877 --> 01:28:19,597 - That's my interpretation. - Metaphor for what? 1650 01:28:19,628 --> 01:28:22,047 I-I don't know yet. We don't pin it down. 1651 01:28:22,173 --> 01:28:24,175 Schubert. Schubert. 1652 01:28:24,300 --> 01:28:26,302 - Schubert! Schubert! - Yes. 1653 01:28:26,427 --> 01:28:28,762 - What's wrong? - Are you on? 1654 01:28:28,888 --> 01:28:30,657 Technically, but general Gibson just started the scene 1655 01:28:30,681 --> 01:28:32,451 where the president doesn't accept his resignation. 1656 01:28:32,475 --> 01:28:34,411 I've got six and a half minutes before my next line. 1657 01:28:34,435 --> 01:28:36,195 I need an answer to a question I want to ask. 1658 01:28:36,270 --> 01:28:37,313 Okay. 1659 01:28:37,438 --> 01:28:39,231 Am I doing him right? 1660 01:28:40,977 --> 01:28:42,193 Well... 1661 01:28:42,318 --> 01:28:43,712 I told you before, there's too much business, 1662 01:28:43,736 --> 01:28:44,963 with the pipe, with the lighter, 1663 01:28:44,987 --> 01:28:46,489 with the camera, with the eyebrow, 1664 01:28:46,614 --> 01:28:48,657 but aside from that, on the whole, 1665 01:28:48,782 --> 01:28:50,910 in answer to your question... sit down. 1666 01:28:53,454 --> 01:28:55,080 You're doing him just right. 1667 01:28:55,206 --> 01:28:57,541 In fact, in my opinion, you didn't just become Augie. 1668 01:28:57,666 --> 01:28:58,876 He became you. 1669 01:28:59,001 --> 01:29:00,044 I feel lost. 1670 01:29:00,169 --> 01:29:01,670 Good. He's such a wounded guy. 1671 01:29:01,795 --> 01:29:03,339 I feel like my heart is getting broken, 1672 01:29:03,464 --> 01:29:04,590 my own, personal heart, 1673 01:29:04,715 --> 01:29:05,799 every night. Good. 1674 01:29:05,925 --> 01:29:07,343 Do I just keep doing it? Yes. 1675 01:29:07,468 --> 01:29:09,220 Without knowing anything? Yes. 1676 01:29:09,345 --> 01:29:11,114 Isn't there supposed to be some kind of an answer 1677 01:29:11,138 --> 01:29:12,515 out there in the cosmic wilderness? 1678 01:29:12,640 --> 01:29:13,825 Woodrow's line about the meaning of life. 1679 01:29:13,849 --> 01:29:14,975 "Maybe there is one." Right. 1680 01:29:15,100 --> 01:29:16,310 Well, that's my question. 1681 01:29:18,270 --> 01:29:20,064 I still don't understand the play. 1682 01:29:20,523 --> 01:29:21,649 Doesn't matter. 1683 01:29:21,774 --> 01:29:23,651 Just keep telling the story. 1684 01:29:25,152 --> 01:29:26,362 You're doing him right. 1685 01:29:26,487 --> 01:29:27,780 I need a breath of fresh air. 1686 01:29:29,114 --> 01:29:31,116 Okay, but you won't find one. 1687 01:29:34,286 --> 01:29:35,746 Right. 1688 01:29:55,266 --> 01:29:56,433 Hello. 1689 01:29:59,144 --> 01:30:01,897 Oh. It's you, the wife who played my actress. 1690 01:30:02,022 --> 01:30:04,942 Hmm. My scene was cut after one rehearsal. 1691 01:30:06,569 --> 01:30:09,071 We still use your photograph. Hmm. 1692 01:30:12,241 --> 01:30:14,118 You remember the dialogue? 1693 01:30:15,619 --> 01:30:16,912 No. 1694 01:30:18,539 --> 01:30:21,375 We meet in a dream on the alien's planet. 1695 01:30:21,875 --> 01:30:23,419 Magnavox-27. 1696 01:30:23,544 --> 01:30:25,629 Actually, it's one of the moons of it. 1697 01:30:26,964 --> 01:30:30,009 You say, "did you talk to the alien?" 1698 01:30:30,509 --> 01:30:32,761 I say, "not yet." 1699 01:30:33,387 --> 01:30:36,181 You say, "why not? I thought for sure 1700 01:30:36,265 --> 01:30:39,018 "you would've yelled at him or made him laugh." 1701 01:30:39,143 --> 01:30:43,063 I say, "or asked him the secrets of the universe?" 1702 01:30:43,188 --> 01:30:45,065 You say, "exactly." 1703 01:30:46,525 --> 01:30:49,153 I say, "I think he's shy." 1704 01:30:50,696 --> 01:30:52,489 You say, 1705 01:30:52,615 --> 01:30:55,242 "so's Woodrow, but i'm sure he'll grow out of it. 1706 01:30:55,367 --> 01:30:57,953 "I mean, at least I hope he will, without a mother." 1707 01:31:00,039 --> 01:31:03,542 I say, "he's a late bloomer, 1708 01:31:03,667 --> 01:31:07,713 "but maybe I think you'll need to replace me." 1709 01:31:08,714 --> 01:31:10,049 You say, 1710 01:31:10,174 --> 01:31:12,968 "what? Why? How? I can't." 1711 01:31:14,637 --> 01:31:18,724 I say, "maybe I think you'll need to try. 1712 01:31:21,518 --> 01:31:23,270 “I'm not coming back, Augie." 1713 01:31:26,398 --> 01:31:29,109 Then you take a picture of me and start crying, 1714 01:31:30,027 --> 01:31:31,528 and I say... 1715 01:31:34,573 --> 01:31:36,408 "I hope it comes out." 1716 01:31:40,037 --> 01:31:41,914 And I say, 1717 01:31:42,039 --> 01:31:43,916 "all my pictures come out." 1718 01:31:57,805 --> 01:31:59,473 Good memory. Why'd they cut it? 1719 01:31:59,598 --> 01:32:01,016 Running time. 1720 01:32:01,100 --> 01:32:02,827 Now I'm first lady-in-waiting to the queen consort 1721 01:32:02,851 --> 01:32:04,269 in fruit of a withering vine. 1722 01:32:04,395 --> 01:32:05,896 You missed your cue. 1723 01:32:05,979 --> 01:32:08,249 June and the cowboy are already necking in the station wagon. 1724 01:32:08,273 --> 01:32:10,609 They're bandaging the understudy's hand right now. 1725 01:32:12,444 --> 01:32:14,196 Oh. It's you. 1726 01:32:14,321 --> 01:32:15,948 We almost would've had a scene together. 1727 01:32:16,073 --> 01:32:18,075 Hello. Hello. 1728 01:32:20,911 --> 01:32:24,164 Six months into the run, the company received the news, 1729 01:32:24,289 --> 01:32:26,834 a catastrophic automobile accident. 1730 01:32:26,959 --> 01:32:29,002 Conrad Earp, American playwright 1731 01:32:29,128 --> 01:32:31,630 unequaled in passion and imagination, 1732 01:32:31,755 --> 01:32:33,382 dead at 50. 1733 01:32:33,507 --> 01:32:35,652 I'd like to make a scene where all my characters 1734 01:32:35,676 --> 01:32:37,261 are each gently, privately seduced 1735 01:32:37,386 --> 01:32:39,471 into the deepest, dreamiest slumber of their lives 1736 01:32:39,596 --> 01:32:41,265 as a result of their shared experience 1737 01:32:41,390 --> 01:32:44,101 of a bewildering and bedazzling celestial mystery, 1738 01:32:44,226 --> 01:32:45,671 but I don't know how to write it. 1739 01:32:47,896 --> 01:32:50,023 You can't wake up if you don't fall asleep. 1740 01:32:50,539 --> 01:32:51,567 What was that? 1741 01:32:51,692 --> 01:32:53,110 What's happening? 1742 01:32:54,278 --> 01:32:55,958 You can't wake up if you don't fall asleep. 1743 01:32:56,029 --> 01:32:57,173 - What? - That's not true. 1744 01:32:57,197 --> 01:32:58,597 - Say it again. - Who cares? 1745 01:32:59,116 --> 01:33:01,201 You can't wake up if you don't fall asleep. 1746 01:33:01,326 --> 01:33:02,327 Why should you? Maybe not. 1747 01:33:02,453 --> 01:33:03,787 - Of course. - Yes. 1748 01:33:03,871 --> 01:33:05,914 - You can't wake up... - If you don't fall asleep. 1749 01:33:06,039 --> 01:33:08,250 You can't wake up if you don't fall asleep. 1750 01:33:08,375 --> 01:33:10,252 You can't wake up if you don't fall asleep. 1751 01:33:10,377 --> 01:33:12,504 You can't wake up if you don't fall asleep. 1752 01:33:12,629 --> 01:33:14,923 You can't wake up if you don't fall asleep. 1753 01:33:15,048 --> 01:33:17,301 You can't wake up if you don't fall asleep. 1754 01:33:17,426 --> 01:33:19,595 You can't wake up if you don't fall asleep. 1755 01:33:19,720 --> 01:33:21,972 You can't wake up if you don't fall asleep. 1756 01:33:22,097 --> 01:33:24,349 You can't wake up if you don't fall asleep. 1757 01:33:24,475 --> 01:33:26,769 You can't wake up if you don't fall asleep. 1758 01:33:26,894 --> 01:33:29,271 You can't wake up if you don't fall asleep. 1759 01:33:29,396 --> 01:33:31,440 You can't wake up if you don't fall asleep. 1760 01:33:31,565 --> 01:33:33,859 You can't wake up if you don't fall asleep. 1761 01:33:33,984 --> 01:33:36,487 You can't wake up if you don't fall asleep. 1762 01:34:05,057 --> 01:34:08,644 Somewhere there's music how faint the tune 1763 01:34:08,769 --> 01:34:11,605 somewhere there's heaven how high the moon... 1764 01:34:13,683 --> 01:34:15,339 Where'd they go? 1765 01:34:15,567 --> 01:34:17,027 Good morning, Mr. Steenbeck. 1766 01:34:17,152 --> 01:34:19,152 Juice preference, please. Apple, orange, or tomato. 1767 01:34:19,196 --> 01:34:20,906 Where'd they go? Everybody. 1768 01:34:21,031 --> 01:34:22,491 Of course. I understand. 1769 01:34:22,616 --> 01:34:25,494 The president lifted the quarantine after all, at midnight. 1770 01:34:25,577 --> 01:34:27,830 He sent the whole gang home, the troops, the cowboys, 1771 01:34:27,955 --> 01:34:29,581 the junior stargazers, and space cadets. 1772 01:34:29,706 --> 01:34:32,000 You are free to return back to wherever you came from. 1773 01:34:32,125 --> 01:34:33,794 We had 11 checkouts this morning. 1774 01:34:34,211 --> 01:34:35,462 I guess you overslept. 1775 01:34:35,546 --> 01:34:37,589 They returned your science projects, by the way. 1776 01:34:40,551 --> 01:34:42,177 - Tomato. - Right away. 1777 01:34:49,393 --> 01:34:52,688 The plan was to shovel it up and take her with us. 1778 01:34:52,813 --> 01:34:55,732 Like I said, we'll exhume the tupperware. 1779 01:34:55,816 --> 01:34:58,986 We don't have any burial rights to this plot here. 1780 01:34:59,069 --> 01:35:00,821 I would question whether it even is a plot. 1781 01:35:00,904 --> 01:35:02,030 It isn't. 1782 01:35:02,155 --> 01:35:04,259 - Don't murder my mother's ashes! - He's killing her! 1783 01:35:04,283 --> 01:35:06,869 No, no, no, no. Let us pray. 1784 01:35:10,956 --> 01:35:12,416 Poppy! 1785 01:35:14,126 --> 01:35:16,712 Dear heavenly father, we thank thee for the life 1786 01:35:16,837 --> 01:35:20,507 of this magnificent woman, who was once just a little girl 1787 01:35:20,632 --> 01:35:23,176 like these three witches in training. 1788 01:35:23,302 --> 01:35:24,720 Not in training. We are witches. 1789 01:35:24,845 --> 01:35:26,388 Part witch, part alien. 1790 01:35:26,513 --> 01:35:28,807 Like these three witches at one time. 1791 01:35:28,932 --> 01:35:31,685 We had no intention of permanently burying her 1792 01:35:31,810 --> 01:35:33,687 next to this unmarked cactus, 1793 01:35:33,812 --> 01:35:35,272 but I no longer have the strength 1794 01:35:35,397 --> 01:35:38,317 to fight for her dignity, nor neither does Augie. 1795 01:35:38,400 --> 01:35:40,110 Do you? No. 1796 01:35:40,235 --> 01:35:43,071 So we'll defer to the wishes of her stubborn daughters. 1797 01:35:43,196 --> 01:35:45,532 Woodrow, any final farewell? 1798 01:35:46,825 --> 01:35:48,368 I don't believe in god anymore. 1799 01:35:48,493 --> 01:35:49,870 Fair enough. 1800 01:35:50,454 --> 01:35:52,539 - Amen. - Amen. 1801 01:35:53,081 --> 01:35:55,584 Friskity, triskity, briskity, boo, 1802 01:35:55,709 --> 01:35:58,754 knickerty, knockerty, tockerty, too. 1803 01:35:58,879 --> 01:36:01,006 Mama is in the ground. 1804 01:36:01,131 --> 01:36:03,383 Say the prayer for mama. 1805 01:36:03,508 --> 01:36:05,928 Mama, we'll say the prayer, too. 1806 01:36:06,553 --> 01:36:07,596 You are beautiful... 1807 01:36:09,014 --> 01:36:10,815 Five orders of flapjacks and two black coffees. 1808 01:36:10,854 --> 01:36:11,900 Thanks. 1809 01:36:15,687 --> 01:36:16,964 Who needs to pee? 1810 01:36:17,097 --> 01:36:18,950 - Nobody needs to pee. - I don't. Not me. 1811 01:36:18,982 --> 01:36:20,668 How about a glass of strawberry milk? 1812 01:36:20,692 --> 01:36:22,069 Yes, please. 1813 01:36:24,196 --> 01:36:26,657 Somebody win that scholarship? 1814 01:36:26,782 --> 01:36:28,033 I did. 1815 01:36:28,825 --> 01:36:30,535 - When? - Last night. 1816 01:36:31,078 --> 01:36:33,473 General Gibson slipped it to me in line at the communal showers. 1817 01:36:33,497 --> 01:36:35,457 I think he just wanted to get it over with. 1818 01:36:35,582 --> 01:36:37,810 It's actually a standard-sized check of typical dimensions. 1819 01:36:37,834 --> 01:36:39,586 The big one's only for show. 1820 01:36:40,443 --> 01:36:41,713 Congratulations, Woodrow. 1821 01:36:41,838 --> 01:36:43,131 That's stupendous. 1822 01:36:43,256 --> 01:36:44,525 You must be some kind of a genius. 1823 01:36:44,549 --> 01:36:45,550 I agree. 1824 01:36:45,634 --> 01:36:48,261 You must be some kind of Brainiac. 1825 01:36:49,596 --> 01:36:51,264 Has it got any strings attached to it? 1826 01:36:51,390 --> 01:36:52,808 It's made out to you personally. 1827 01:36:52,933 --> 01:36:54,351 How do you plan to use it? 1828 01:36:56,311 --> 01:36:58,355 I'll probably spend it on my girlfriend. 1829 01:37:02,442 --> 01:37:04,611 What do you write in that little book? 1830 01:37:06,613 --> 01:37:08,281 Next year's project, confidentially. 1831 01:37:08,407 --> 01:37:10,426 Gee, whiz. Look at that. Whoa. Wow. Is that possible? 1832 01:37:10,450 --> 01:37:11,848 Is that possible? 1833 01:37:12,411 --> 01:37:14,746 Midge Campbell left you her address. 1834 01:37:15,706 --> 01:37:17,958 It's just a post office box. 1835 01:37:20,669 --> 01:37:22,271 What happened that night I saw the... 1836 01:37:22,295 --> 01:37:23,690 That's none of your business, Stanley. 1837 01:37:23,714 --> 01:37:25,382 I know. Of course it isn't. 1838 01:37:25,507 --> 01:37:27,009 I only ask because Woodrow told me 1839 01:37:27,134 --> 01:37:28,736 - Dinah told him. - I understand. I understand. 1840 01:37:28,760 --> 01:37:30,262 I understand. 1841 01:37:30,387 --> 01:37:32,848 I went to law school with her former agent. 1842 01:37:32,973 --> 01:37:34,307 Anyway, I don't object. 1843 01:37:35,225 --> 01:37:37,436 She's actually a very gifted comedienne. 1844 01:37:38,520 --> 01:37:39,521 That's true. 1845 01:37:43,483 --> 01:37:45,318 Another atom bomb test. 1846 01:38:08,508 --> 01:38:10,469 Freight train, freight train 1847 01:38:10,594 --> 01:38:12,345 going so fast 1848 01:38:12,471 --> 01:38:14,306 freight train, freight train 1849 01:38:14,431 --> 01:38:16,224 going so fast 1850 01:38:16,475 --> 01:38:19,061 I don't know what train he's on 1851 01:38:19,186 --> 01:38:21,855 won't you tell me where he's gone? 1852 01:38:21,938 --> 01:38:23,523 Woodrow, let's go. 1853 01:38:31,323 --> 01:38:32,783 Don't know where 1854 01:38:32,908 --> 01:38:35,035 he's heading for 1855 01:38:35,160 --> 01:38:36,661 What he's done 1856 01:38:36,787 --> 01:38:38,914 against the law 1857 01:38:39,039 --> 01:38:42,084 Got no future, got no hope 1858 01:38:42,209 --> 01:38:45,837 just nothing but the rope 1859 01:38:54,012 --> 01:38:55,722 Freight train, freight train 1860 01:38:55,847 --> 01:38:57,557 going so fast 1861 01:38:57,682 --> 01:38:59,684 freight train, freight train 1862 01:38:59,810 --> 01:39:01,520 going so fast 1863 01:39:01,645 --> 01:39:04,523 I don't know what train he's on 1864 01:39:04,606 --> 01:39:06,233 Won't you tell me 1865 01:39:06,358 --> 01:39:08,401 where he's gone 1866 01:39:16,827 --> 01:39:20,247 He lost his reason lost his life 1867 01:39:20,831 --> 01:39:24,000 he killed his friend in mortal strife 1868 01:39:24,543 --> 01:39:27,587 he must keep moving like the rolling skies 1869 01:39:27,712 --> 01:39:31,716 just a-waitin' till he dies 1870 01:39:39,641 --> 01:39:41,434 Freight train, freight train 1871 01:39:41,560 --> 01:39:43,311 going so fast 1872 01:39:43,436 --> 01:39:45,230 freight train, freight train 1873 01:39:45,355 --> 01:39:47,190 going so fast 1874 01:39:47,315 --> 01:39:50,318 I don't know what train he's on 1875 01:39:50,443 --> 01:39:54,364 won't you tell me where he's gone 1876 01:40:02,622 --> 01:40:06,459 When he dies just bury him, please 1877 01:40:06,585 --> 01:40:10,297 way down the end of old Chestnut street 1878 01:40:10,422 --> 01:40:13,592 poplars at his head and feet 1879 01:40:13,717 --> 01:40:17,804 and tell them he's gone to sleep 1880 01:40:25,520 --> 01:40:27,397 Freight train, freight train 1881 01:40:27,522 --> 01:40:29,191 going so fast 1882 01:40:29,316 --> 01:40:31,193 freight train, freight train 1883 01:40:31,318 --> 01:40:33,195 going so fast 1884 01:40:33,320 --> 01:40:36,281 I don't know what train he's on 1885 01:40:36,406 --> 01:40:40,118 won't you tell me where he's gone 1886 01:41:16,738 --> 01:41:19,324 You 1887 01:41:23,078 --> 01:41:25,664 can't wake up 1888 01:41:26,373 --> 01:41:29,376 if you don't fall asleep 1889 01:41:30,126 --> 01:41:33,004 you can't fall in love 1890 01:41:33,880 --> 01:41:37,467 and land on your feet 1891 01:41:37,592 --> 01:41:40,887 you won't smell the roses 1892 01:41:41,012 --> 01:41:44,266 if you never plant a seed 1893 01:41:44,975 --> 01:41:47,978 and you can't wake up 1894 01:41:48,103 --> 01:41:52,232 if you don't fall asleep 1895 01:41:55,860 --> 01:41:58,947 you can't make an entrance 1896 01:42:00,031 --> 01:42:02,200 if you keep missing your cue 1897 01:42:04,286 --> 01:42:06,496 and you won't pick a winner 1898 01:42:06,621 --> 01:42:10,083 till you learn how to choose 1899 01:42:11,334 --> 01:42:14,254 you'll never find the treasure 1900 01:42:14,754 --> 01:42:17,215 unless you dig deep 1901 01:42:18,008 --> 01:42:20,719 and you can't wake up 1902 01:42:21,469 --> 01:42:24,931 if you don't fall asleep 1903 01:42:28,601 --> 01:42:32,188 oh, you'll never 1904 01:42:32,564 --> 01:42:35,066 have memories 1905 01:42:36,026 --> 01:42:38,903 worth keeping 1906 01:42:42,240 --> 01:42:46,745 oh, you'll never 1907 01:42:46,870 --> 01:42:49,247 find the truth 1908 01:42:50,206 --> 01:42:53,752 you are seeking 1909 01:43:00,467 --> 01:43:04,179 While you are sleeping 1910 01:43:08,600 --> 01:43:12,812 but you can't wake up 1911 01:43:12,937 --> 01:43:16,149 if you don't fall asleep 1912 01:43:16,733 --> 01:43:20,487 so go live your dreams 1913 01:43:20,612 --> 01:43:23,365 and live them real deep 1914 01:43:23,490 --> 01:43:27,285 there is some counting money 1915 01:43:28,161 --> 01:43:32,165 and there's some counting sheep 1916 01:43:33,249 --> 01:43:37,337 oh, you can't wake up 1917 01:43:37,462 --> 01:43:43,802 if you don't fall asleep 1918 01:43:48,681 --> 01:43:52,018 if you don't fall asleep 1919 01:44:37,897 --> 01:44:39,399 Wicked.