1
00:00:01,793 --> 00:00:03,170
[ Telephone ringing ]
2
00:00:03,629 --> 00:00:05,255
What was that?
Nothing.
3
00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:08,842
Did I see your last name
on it?
4
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:10,928
It's a flier for my dad's
landscaping company.
5
00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:14,514
Aww.
Uh, is that your brother?
6
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:15,974
No, I'm actually
an only child,
7
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:17,893
but apparently appearing
to be a family business
8
00:00:17,893 --> 00:00:19,478
helps bring in customers.
9
00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:22,773
That's -- Sorry, so your --
your dad, he hired an actor
10
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:24,900
to play his son
instead of just asking you?
11
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:26,735
Yeah.
12
00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:27,986
I think I'm confused.
13
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:29,988
You're not.
14
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:32,449
Well, he fine. Can I have your
fake brother's real number?
15
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:34,451
I'd like to climb
that family tree.
16
00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:35,786
[ Giggles ]
17
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:41,708
[ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ]
18
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:51,426
♪♪
19
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,637
Okay, so the writing prompt
is as follows --
20
00:00:53,637 --> 00:00:57,224
you're gonna write a paragraph
about a cat with a silly job.
21
00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:59,851
I know.
It's silly, but it's fun.
22
00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:02,354
And then after we're finished,
you're gonna read them aloud --
23
00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:04,064
Um, sorry, Zara and Joya,
24
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,566
why are you guys
not in your assigned seats?
25
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:07,985
Well, she keeps taking all
the stickers off my folder
26
00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:09,194
and then putting them on hers.
27
00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:10,571
No, I'm not.
28
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,823
She keeps hitting me
and taking my pencil.
29
00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,199
That was my pencil,
dummy.
30
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:16,285
Oh! Okay. No.
31
00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:17,578
That's enough.
32
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:20,414
We will treat each other
with kindness.
33
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,624
Now, please, get up and go
back to your regular seats.
34
00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:24,793
You don't get to decide
where you sit.
35
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,962
So, Zara and Joya don't get
along the best,
36
00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:29,590
and lately,
it's been getting worse.
37
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:32,009
Kids rub each other the wrong
way from time to time,
38
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,219
but it's okay, no problem.
39
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:35,721
I know how to handle
these things.
40
00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:38,599
I've watched so many unlikely
animal friend videos
41
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:41,393
that I don't even know
what "unlikely" means anymore.
42
00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:46,356
I'll beat you up.
43
00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:49,067
I'm pretty sure that was
"I'll beam you up."
44
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:51,653
Like, clearly,
she's a Trekkie.
45
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:54,614
She wants to beam her up
on her ship.
46
00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:56,199
Her friend-ship.
47
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:13,216
My dad's in town
for a big landscaping job,
48
00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:15,761
and he wanted to stop by
to see where I work.
49
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:18,013
Probably so he could tell me
what he finds unsatisfactory
50
00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:20,223
about it to my face...
51
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:21,016
with love.
52
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,103
Dang, can you blink?
53
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,563
Is this one of those
"Stranger Things"?
54
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:30,359
What's your favorite song,
Gregory?! [ Laughs ]
55
00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:32,277
Dad. Hello.
Welcome to Abbott.
56
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:34,112
Thank you for having me,
son.
57
00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:35,947
I'm Lt. Colonel Martin Eddie.
58
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,532
Ten hut.
At ease.
59
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,411
Here's my business card.
60
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,205
Let me know if you have
any landscaping needs.
61
00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:44,706
Eddie Lawn and Care
can take care of any job
62
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:45,791
during any season.
63
00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:47,584
Mm.
64
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,753
Don't look at me like that.
He gave me his number.
65
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,254
Let me get you checked in,
and then I'll show you around.
66
00:02:53,799 --> 00:02:56,009
Your Hotmail account
is very brave, Mr. Eddie.
67
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:59,012
I wouldn't trust a landscaper
with any other e-mail service.
68
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,098
[ Mouthing words ]
69
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,852
You doing your taxes?
70
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,354
You know you can claim
stray cats as dependents?
71
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:10,023
[ Scoffs ] Taxes.
People still doing that?
72
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,358
No, I'm trying to crunch
the numbers
73
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,068
on my fantasy football squad
to find out
74
00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:15,028
why Mr. Johnson beat me.
75
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,655
It was that damn Garoppolo.
76
00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:19,366
That's the last time
I draft based on hotness.
77
00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:23,370
What are you doing?
You already took that.
78
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,122
Looking for your fantasy
football team,
79
00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:26,665
'cause it's trash.
80
00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,250
Well, now you about
to face me in the finals,
81
00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:29,709
and I do not
respect my elders.
82
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:31,503
[ Whistling ]
83
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:33,255
[ Chuckles ]
84
00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:34,506
There's only two things
I'm scared of --
85
00:03:34,506 --> 00:03:36,383
facing Mr. Johnson
and having to kill my granny
86
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:37,634
during the zombie apocalypse.
87
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:39,469
You know, Mr. Johnson's
always the first
88
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,138
to claim a player
on the waiver wire.
89
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:42,931
That's why he's been
cleaning up.
90
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:44,015
They should make him
the new Mr. Clean.
91
00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,308
He's already bald.
92
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:46,518
[ Scoffs ]
93
00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:49,521
Oh. [ Chuckles ]
94
00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:50,856
Ooh.
95
00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,107
Double trouble.
96
00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:56,778
Dad, this is Melissa.
Melissa, this is my father.
97
00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:58,947
You got a good end-season
management strategy?
98
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,074
I'm busy.
99
00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:03,743
So, this is
your lounge?
100
00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:05,036
Yeah. Yeah.
101
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,496
You need some plants
in here.
102
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:09,207
[ Inhales deeply ]
The air is stale.
103
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:11,084
Uh, don't mind us.
104
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,419
We're just green-thumbing
through
105
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,796
"Better Hoods and Gardens,"
looking for ideas.
106
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:17,340
Dad, these are my coworkers,
Jacob and Barbara.
107
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:20,135
Mr. Eddie,
wonderful to meet you.
108
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:21,595
The caretakers of
the flourishing
109
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:24,264
Abbott Elementary Garden
welcome you.
110
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,391
I could have sworn I saw
the plants getting protected
111
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:28,560
from frost using
cut two-liter bottles.
112
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,187
A classic Eddie family method,
113
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:33,273
except someone improved
slightly on the design.
114
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,816
Y-You say "improved"?
115
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:37,319
Well, gotta give it up
for my girl Barb for that one.
116
00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:38,737
Well, that and Sprite.
117
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,447
Ah, no, no, Mr. Hill.
118
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,366
That was all you,
that ingenious invention.
119
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:44,910
No -- No, it wasn't.
120
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:47,746
I thought you did it after you
put all that mulch in?
121
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,331
Huh?
122
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:50,791
Well, what about the cute
little labels
123
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,959
letting us know
what everything is?
124
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,045
Not me. I don't know
how to write in cursive.
125
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,635
Gregory.
Hmm?
126
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,887
Have you been secretly
tending to the garden?
127
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:06,932
Yes.
128
00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:08,058
For how long?
[ Gasps ]
129
00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:10,352
The entire time.
130
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,103
But I planted
the daffodils.
131
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:14,439
You did.
Just wrong.
132
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,274
They were crowding each other
out, so I had to replant them.
133
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,610
Look at you,
showing a little initiative.
134
00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:21,738
Well -- Well, what about
the collard greens I planted?
135
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:24,866
That was spinach, which is not
an easy mistake to make.
136
00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:26,827
Not tolerating incompetence.
137
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,203
I like that.
138
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:29,287
Thank you, Dad.
139
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,289
Gregory, why would you
sow secretly?
140
00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:33,416
Why would you
prune privately?
141
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:36,169
Why would you
cull clandestinely?
142
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,255
Hidden hoe-ing and whatnot?
Are you done?
143
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,590
Barbara, hit him one more time.
144
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:43,510
Why would you be tight-lipped
about tilling?
145
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:47,264
Everything we planted
was a lie?
146
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:48,723
No, no, no, no.
147
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:51,226
Some of those, um,
weeds were yours.
148
00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:55,063
Oh.
So, you just silly, huh?
149
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:57,440
I knew nothing could keep you
out of the dirt.
150
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,733
[ Chuckles ]
151
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:05,574
And he has been secretly
tending the garden
152
00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:08,785
this whole time,
like some sort of
153
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,161
plant Santa Claus.
154
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:13,290
Like a Planta Claus.
155
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:15,166
Uh, Janine, there's
a skirmish developing
156
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:16,293
that needs
your attention.
157
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,044
Yes, uh, Zara and Joya?
158
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,796
I am aware.
It's in process.
159
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,131
They weren't getting
along earlier,
160
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,383
so I made them buddies
for the week.
161
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,468
Quality time will nurture
understanding,
162
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,929
and, you know, it'll lead
to a beautiful,
163
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,599
blossoming flower
of a friendship.
164
00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:32,434
I say "flower" because we were
talking about the garden.
165
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:35,520
I thought it was because
you're dressed like a peony.
166
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,397
Anyway, trust the process.
167
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,065
Before you know it,
those two will be inseparable,
168
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:43,028
like peas and pods and --
169
00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:44,029
[ Grunts ]
170
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,030
[ Child and Janine gasp ]
171
00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:47,616
Dang!
You got milked!
172
00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:49,743
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Nope, nope, nope! Nope!
173
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:50,952
No, no.
174
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:52,704
Yeah, just trust the process.
175
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:54,289
[ Children grunting
and arguing ]
176
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,169
So, I heard one of your kids
got hit in a milk-by.
177
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:01,338
Just kicking the dust
off their friendship.
178
00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:02,881
I don't think they like
each other.
179
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,299
Okay, guys, you know what?
180
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:06,009
These kids should be able
to get along,
181
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:07,636
and I can get them there.
182
00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:10,013
Yes. Look, my mom and sister
used to fight all the time,
183
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:11,514
and I would mediate.
184
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,725
I was both the crisis negotiator
and the hostage.
185
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:15,268
I was Jack Bauer
and Jack Bauer.
186
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,978
And now they're closer
than ever.
187
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:19,230
Doesn't your sister live
in Colorado?
188
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,232
Physically, but emotionally,
she never left.
189
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,734
I don't know. Some people
just hate each other,
190
00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:24,235
and that's fine.
191
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:26,279
That's right. I don't like
Janine, and it's going great.
192
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,697
Well, I'm a pacifist.
193
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:30,283
You mess with me, I'm-a pass
a fist across your face.
194
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,202
Well, I don't hate anyone.
195
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:34,788
Except for
Jimmy Dontel-Anderson.
196
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,247
Goodnight.
Yeah, in sixth grade,
197
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:37,374
he threw a handful
of grapes at me
198
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,626
while I was doing my solo
in "Moulin Rouge Jr."
199
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:42,128
One went right into my mouth,
straight down my throat,
200
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,756
and I had to give myself
the Heimlich.
201
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:46,633
Our chorus teacher didn't even
stop playing.
202
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,468
She just...
203
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,095
You know,
the show must go on.
204
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,599
Okay, Sophia, you're up to read
the family tree report.
205
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:58,019
Melissa, I have something
urgent to discuss with you.
206
00:07:58,019 --> 00:08:00,480
Be right back.
What's going on?
207
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,315
It's about the fantasy football
championships.
208
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,566
Why'd I even ask?
209
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:05,068
At the end of his sermon,
I heard my pastor
210
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:07,278
say that Christian McCaffrey
might not play this weekend.
211
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,530
Then he said some nonsense
about gambling
212
00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:10,532
not being of the Lord,
but I was on my way out.
213
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,826
McCaffrey is Mr. Johnson's
best player.
214
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,245
Exactly. And if I pick up
his backup first,
215
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,663
like a Black woman
on "The Voice,"
216
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:17,914
he has no chance of winning.
217
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:20,083
Waiver wire opens at 2:00.
You distract him,
218
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:21,251
and then I'll pick up
McCaffrey's backup.
219
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:23,044
Uh-huh.
What's in it for me?
220
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,546
4% of my fantasy winnings.
221
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:26,798
20%, and your shelf
in the fridge.
222
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:29,008
Damn. That's where I keep
my various mustards.
223
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:35,473
The Buddy System was too
surface-level for Joya and Zara.
224
00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:38,017
They need to know what's going
on internally with each other,
225
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,853
truly empathize.
226
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:42,480
So, I'm having them do a project
where they trace one another
227
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:43,982
and then fill it in
with all the things
228
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,191
that make their partner special.
229
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,235
So... Yeah.
230
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,279
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
231
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,613
It looks like fun.
232
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,073
I wish somebody would trace me.
233
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:54,576
I think I'd be like 95%
"Family Matters" re-runs
234
00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:57,829
and then 5% Dunkaroos.
235
00:08:57,829 --> 00:09:01,499
In conclusion, it was very nice
getting to know Quagmire.
236
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,126
It's Quahir.
237
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:04,794
Okay. Alright, guys.
That's good.
238
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:07,005
[ Applause ]
239
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:08,840
Alright, um, you know what?
240
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:12,552
Let's have Joya and Zara
go next.
241
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,095
Come on up.
242
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:25,857
Here you can see that Joya
is full of poop,
243
00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:28,610
not just where
you expect poop to be --
244
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:31,571
everywhere,
especially her big head.
245
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:32,989
Alright, you know what,
Zara?
246
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:34,157
That was not the assignment.
247
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:37,535
Unlike Zara, I actually
did the assignment.
248
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:41,998
You can see she likes gum,
Gucci flip flops, and Roblox.
249
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:43,374
Okay, now, that was actually
what I was --
250
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:44,459
I'm not done.
251
00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,377
I want to talk
about the outside, too.
252
00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:50,507
Smelly breath, smelly farts,
smelly pits,
253
00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:52,801
because she stinks.
254
00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:54,177
Whoa!
255
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:56,679
You know what?
That's the final straw.
256
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,182
Do you two want to watch
"Toy Story" tomorrow?
257
00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:01,643
Which one?
I can't do 3 again.
258
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,436
Alright, well, you're not
gonna be watching any of them
259
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,647
unless you guys find a way
to settle this.
260
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,732
If you're mature enough
to make the graphic drawings,
261
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,901
then you're mature enough
to work this out.
262
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:13,321
Find a solution or you'll be
in the library for Movie Friday.
263
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:14,948
And we are watching
the first "Toy Story."
264
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,533
The third one makes me cry.
265
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:18,701
So, get back to your seats,
please. Thank you.
266
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:24,916
[ Cellphone vibrating ]
267
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,628
Oh, hey, Pop.
I mean, uh, sir.
268
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,004
Yeah, you're funny.
269
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:31,214
I just wanted to tell you
how proud I was
270
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:32,924
of your little
gardening method.
271
00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:34,551
Sorry?
Don't be.
272
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,010
Frankly, I'm quite impressed
you continued
273
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:38,346
our landscaping legacy.
274
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:40,890
Well, I couldn't let
those plants just die.
275
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,560
If you're available,
come help me out on this job.
276
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,603
Earn some extra cash,
maybe take that Amber girl
277
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:48,565
out on a proper date
to a French restaurant
278
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:51,109
that you can't pronounce.
279
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:52,152
You want my input?
280
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,695
Oui, oui.
281
00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:56,197
Uh, o-okay.
Yeah, sure.
282
00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:58,324
I'll take it.
[ Cellphone chimes ]
283
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:01,744
So, you're taking
your gardening skills
284
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:03,788
out into the broad daylight,
285
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,540
Mr. "What We Do
In The Shadows"?
286
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:06,708
It's just for
a little extra cash.
287
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:07,417
Mm.
288
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:13,464
You look like you're trying
to mute a smile.
289
00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,008
I am?
290
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:18,469
Mm-hmm.
291
00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:20,263
I don't think my dad's
ever asked for my input
292
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:21,472
on anything before,
except for that time
293
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:23,183
when he asked
if I thought I was being funny.
294
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,603
You caught me.
295
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,313
I'm happy.
296
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:29,731
I think I'm experiencing
what they refer to
297
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:31,983
as Black boy joy,
even though I am a man.
298
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:37,280
You see that?
They're getting along.
299
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,448
I haven't had a problem
the entire morning.
300
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,200
Hey!
301
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,535
Are you the girl
I'm supposed to beat up?
302
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:43,870
You a little small
for an eighth grader,
303
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:46,122
but I don't discriminate.
304
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,415
Hey.
305
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:48,583
There she is.
306
00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:50,793
That's the girl who said
she's gonna beat you up.
307
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:52,754
I heard your sister been saying
that my sister's full of poop.
308
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:54,088
Wait, no one's been saying
anyone is --
309
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,882
And I heard your sister's been
saying my sister's smelly.
310
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,675
Well, smells like your
whole family smelling smelly.
311
00:11:57,675 --> 00:11:59,427
Fight!
312
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:02,305
[ Children shouting ]
313
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,561
Come at me, sis!
No, I ain't scared!
314
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,312
And don't hide behind
that eighth grader!
315
00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:10,355
She can't help you!
316
00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:11,606
Okay, I am
a full grown woman,
317
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:12,565
and there is a better way
to handle this, girls.
318
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:13,566
Below the belt, Keke!
319
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:16,319
Smash her like
she smashed my milk!
320
00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:18,279
Stop! You guys!
Yeah, Ava, get them.
321
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,864
Only in America.
[ Laughs ]
322
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,908
Hey, hey, relax.
This is designer.
323
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:26,746
What in the Earth, Wind,
and Fire is going on here?
324
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,373
Yeah, I don't know.
325
00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:31,084
Zara, Joya, I asked you guys
to handle this
326
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,543
and you said you came
to an agreement.
327
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:35,004
Yeah, we agreed that our sisters
would fight each other.
328
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:40,093
Shame to see my queens fight.
329
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,762
But I thought Ms. Teagues
was gonna get molly-whopped.
330
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,515
[ Melissa gasps ]
331
00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:49,018
Hey, Tasia, come here.
332
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:51,020
Can you do Ms. Schemmenti
a favor?
333
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:53,773
Can you take this tub of dirty
paint water and empty it out
334
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,483
in the sink in the bathroom
at the end of the hall?
335
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:57,277
I doubt it, but I'll try.
336
00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:02,323
Oh.
337
00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:06,703
Operation Splash Interference
is in effect.
338
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:10,456
Ms. Schemmenti,
I spilled all over the bathroom.
339
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,582
I'm sorry.
340
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,418
You did great, kid.
341
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:22,719
Ava: Attention Abbott Custodian,
A. K. A. Mr. Johnson.
342
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:25,763
We have a drop and mop.
Drop what you're doing and mop.
343
00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:28,016
Report to the girls' bathroom
at the east end hallway,
344
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:30,351
ASAPington.
345
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:31,936
I haven't seen a mess like this
346
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,147
since the Playboy Mansion
in '86.
347
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:41,154
Okay, everybody knows
that bathroom is a dead zone
348
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,114
for cell service,
and he still got an Obama phone.
349
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:44,490
Okay, well, hurry up,
because it's 2:00
350
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,284
and he mops at a rate
of 4 SPMs --
351
00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:48,036
squeegees per minute.
352
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,162
What the --
What's the matter?
353
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,246
Did you get him?
He's gone.
354
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:51,289
He picked up the backup.
355
00:13:51,289 --> 00:13:52,999
But the waiver wire
just opened
356
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,709
and he's in the middle
of cell hell.
357
00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:56,419
Well, that old man's mop bucket
must have Ethernet,
358
00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:57,503
because he got him.
359
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,422
[ Crying ]
360
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:01,090
[ Inhales deeply ]
361
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,009
There's no crying
in fantasy football.
362
00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:07,221
Martin: Ground's still
a bit frozen.
363
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:09,807
Make sure you use that good
Eddie musculature I gave you.
364
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,311
[ Chuckles ]
Don't work so hard, son.
365
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:14,645
You know what happened
to John Henry.
366
00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:15,938
[ Chuckles ]
367
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:21,486
You know, uh, I've been
giving it some thought.
368
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:24,572
What if I added an "and son"
to Eddie Lawn and Care?
369
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:26,115
Eddie and Son
and Lawn and Care?
370
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:27,950
No.
371
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:30,161
Eddie and Son Lawn Care.
372
00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:36,459
What about your, uh,
your fake son from the flier?
373
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:37,877
Great model.
374
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:38,961
Terrible gardener.
375
00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:41,089
[ Chuckles ]
What are you trying to say, Dad?
376
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,131
I mean, we've talked about me
working for you.
377
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:43,800
You tell me to do something,
I do it,
378
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,635
you say,
"Nope, not like that."
379
00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:48,387
I then correct it, and you go,
"No, that's still not it."
380
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:50,431
Then you say, "Fine,
I'll just do it myself."
381
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:52,391
Then I watch you do
exactly what I did,
382
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:54,602
and then you say,
"What an improvement."
383
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:57,271
I'm not asking you
to work for me.
384
00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:59,107
I'm asking you
to work with me.
385
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,068
Why now?
386
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,528
Look, I'm trying to get into
business with you,
387
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:06,114
and eventually, I'm gonna retire
and leave it to you,
388
00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:08,449
but first, I just needed to know
you could carry your own weight,
389
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:10,201
and you can.
390
00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:11,536
I've never seen you
more confident.
391
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:19,127
Ooh.
392
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:22,588
What a wonderful drawing of a --
a poop head.
393
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,715
Yeah.
My fighting students.
394
00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:26,259
Oh.
395
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,302
Well, I see that you signed up
for my office hour.
396
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:29,428
Oh, yeah, yeah.
397
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:31,097
So, I'll see you in a week
and a half.
398
00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:34,600
And what do you know?
399
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,185
Just like that,
a spot opened up.
400
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:39,438
Hmm.
401
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,274
Okay.
402
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:44,485
Alright, so, I'm upset
with myself
403
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:47,446
about how things turned out
with Zara and Joya.
404
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:50,491
I feel like all of my solutions
just created more problems.
405
00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:52,743
I feel like I really got my math
wrong with this one.
406
00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:55,538
Janine, this isn't math.
407
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:58,791
The two of them just don't
enjoy each other's company.
408
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,001
What's wrong with that?
409
00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:03,546
I'm -- [ Sighs ]
I'm not sure.
410
00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:06,340
Just people not getting along,
it makes me uncomfortable.
411
00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:10,219
Well, have you reflected
on why that is?
412
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:12,305
No, but I have tried
journaling.
413
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:13,514
Janine, has there ever been
a time
414
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:17,268
where you've had
to sit with conflict?
415
00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:19,770
Well, yeah, my mom used to do
these things
416
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:22,648
that would really upset
my sister,
417
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:26,694
and, you know, they kind of
would get into their squabbles,
418
00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:30,448
and I would get put in
the middle of their squabbles,
419
00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:32,241
and they would want me
to choose sides,
420
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:34,410
and I just
wanted it to stop.
421
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:37,288
Mm.
It was awful.
422
00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:39,624
Even now, when my sister
comes to visit,
423
00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,459
she doesn't want
my mom to know.
424
00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:44,420
And if she does,
they get all squabbly.
425
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:47,673
And as difficult as that sounds,
I have to tell you,
426
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,258
this is not about them.
427
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:50,718
This is about you.
428
00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:54,722
You need to become comfortable
being uncomfortable.
429
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:58,267
Sometimes, two people just
don't like each other,
430
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:01,187
like me and that usher
at church.
431
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:04,899
I'll sit
where I want to sit. Mm.
432
00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:06,442
Hey, Barbara?
Hmm?
433
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,194
See you next week
for office hour?
434
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:09,654
Wait a minute,
I thought this was --
435
00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:12,531
[ Chuckles ] Oh, Barbara.
I'm gonna have a ton of problems
436
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:13,824
by then, too.
437
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:17,203
Janine, don't make me call
a 7th grader to beat you up.
438
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:18,955
[ Laughs ]
Not funny.
439
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:21,874
Now that we have our jar
and our wet paper towel,
440
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,000
we're gonna take the seed
441
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,752
and put it inside
the wet paper towel
442
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:27,380
so that it can germinate
inside the jar.
443
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,674
But remember that the seeds
are very fragile,
444
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:32,176
so we have to take
extra special care
445
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,719
to make sure
that they can grow.
446
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:35,930
Look, Mr. Eddie,
I'm Jason.
447
00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:40,518
Okay. Now, Jordan Peele
that off your face
448
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,728
so we can go through
the steps of germination.
449
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:45,356
Wow, look at you.
450
00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:46,857
Got your fingers in the mud
with your pops
451
00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:48,943
and it inspired you
to embrace your roots.
452
00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:53,406
It went well with your dad,
though?
453
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,283
He actually asked me
to run the company with him.
454
00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:58,035
Mama told me
there'd be days like this.
455
00:17:58,035 --> 00:17:59,036
I'm not leaving Abbott,
Jacob.
456
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:01,789
I said no.
457
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,207
Obviously. Yeah.
458
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:05,459
No, I never --
I never thought you would.
459
00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:08,129
Actually, he, uh --
noticed how confident I seemed,
460
00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:09,547
and I said it's because
I'm at Abbott.
461
00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:11,799
First time I've been at a place
that I love,
462
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:13,050
doing something that I love.
463
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,135
Yeah, with people
that you love?
464
00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:15,469
No, I didn't say that.
465
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:17,430
But this job
did give me confidence.
466
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:18,889
You know, I never liked
gardening before,
467
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:21,642
but I like doing it here.
468
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,436
Well, I, for one,
am happy to know
469
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:24,770
that we will be
gardening together.
470
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,023
Green thumb buddies.
471
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:29,859
Mr. Eddie,
I accidentally dropped my seed
472
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:32,570
into my mouth and then
I accidentally ate it.
473
00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:35,239
Am I going to have a lemon tree
grow inside my belly?
474
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:36,365
Well, let's think about it.
475
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:38,367
Did you also swallow
a wet paper towel?
476
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:39,785
Yes.
477
00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:44,457
Alright, let's go to the nurse.
478
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:47,084
[ "You've Got a Friend in Me"
playing ]
479
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:49,086
♪ You've got a friend in me ♪
480
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:51,464
♪♪
481
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,257
♪ You've got a friend in me ♪
482
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:54,800
♪♪
483
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,428
Is it hard when people I care
about don't like each other?
484
00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:59,555
Of course. If I had it my way,
Woody and Buzz
485
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:01,474
would have started out friends,
yeah.
486
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:02,975
But I have to learn to accept
487
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,645
that what my students
are feeling is real.
488
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:09,148
'Cause this is real life
and not Pixar.
489
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,941
♪ ...rough ahead ♪
490
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,361
♪ And you're miles and miles
from your nice, warm bed ♪
491
00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:15,613
Oh.
492
00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:18,240
♪ You just remember
what your old pal said ♪
493
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:22,203
♪ You've got a friend in me ♪
494
00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:24,163
♪ You've got a friend in me ♪
495
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,748
[ Laughs ]
496
00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:27,375
♪ Just reme-- ♪
I don't --
497
00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:28,668
I don't know
the rest of the lyrics.
498
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:31,003
See ya. Whoa.
499
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,213
Uh, what are you two doing here?
500
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:33,589
We're here to pick up
our sisters.
501
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:35,299
Oh.
502
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:38,219
Okay, so you just happened
to be here at the same time,
503
00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:41,138
and you're getting along very --
very cordial?
504
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:42,807
Cordial?
Nah, we friends.
505
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:44,225
Yeah.
Friends?
506
00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:46,769
Yeah. After you stopped us from
fighting, we got to talking.
507
00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:48,771
Seems like we have
some common interests.
508
00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:50,231
We both love butterflies.
509
00:19:50,231 --> 00:19:51,190
Aww.
510
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,858
And beating people up.
511
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:55,319
Okay.
Well, you know what?
512
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:56,654
That's wonderful, girls.
513
00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:58,280
Really. It is.
514
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,281
Have a good night, okay?
515
00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:00,449
You, too.
Bye.
516
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:02,952
Bye.
517
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:10,543
[ Sighs ]
518
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:15,339
[ Line ringing ]
519
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:17,174
Ayesha: Hey, it's Ayesha.
You know what to do.
520
00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:18,175
[ Voicemail beeps ]
521
00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:19,719
Hey, Ayesha.
522
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:22,096
It's me. Um...
523
00:20:22,096 --> 00:20:23,931
I was wondering if
you were gonna still come visit,
524
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:26,976
because I think you should.
525
00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:28,394
And don't worry.
526
00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:29,729
I won't tell Mom.
527
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,564
I promise.
528
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:35,025
So, just give me a call back.
529
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,569
Okay.
530
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:38,904
[ Click ]
531
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:44,243
The champ is here.
[ Laughs ]
532
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,412
Start calling me Sir Johnson,
533
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:49,540
as I have been knighted
by the Queen of Trash herself,
534
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:54,545
Ava's fantasy football roster.
Oh!
535
00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:56,839
You only won 'cause you got on
the waiver wire before I could.
536
00:20:56,839 --> 00:20:58,299
Which, by the way,
how is that even possible?
537
00:20:58,299 --> 00:20:59,717
Didn't you have a spill
to clean up?
538
00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:02,178
[ Laughing ]
Yeah, on aisle three-peat.
539
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:04,638
Hey, here's your cut.
What?!
540
00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:06,307
You're helping him out?
541
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:08,225
You were the one jumping
on the waiver wire.
542
00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:10,853
Yeah, I thought you had
a moral objection to the NFL.
543
00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:13,397
And while those
moral objections still stand,
544
00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:15,691
I will do anything
to see my man smile.
545
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:22,948
[ Blows, imitates bird cawing ]
546
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:28,579
-- Captions by VITAC --