1 00:00:01,584 --> 00:00:04,086 Morning. [gasps, cheers] 2 00:00:04,087 --> 00:00:05,462 Happy Halloween. 3 00:00:05,463 --> 00:00:07,507 Hi, guys. Hey. 4 00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:09,633 Uh. Ice Spice? 5 00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:10,592 Like? 6 00:00:10,593 --> 00:00:13,095 - Nah. Box. Mm-hmm. - [student whines] 7 00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:14,555 It's Halloween here at Abbott 8 00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:18,100 and some of the costumes can be a little risqué. 9 00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:20,811 So, I have a box full of backups. 10 00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:21,979 I want everyone to have a shot 11 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:24,898 at winning the big costume contest that's later today, 12 00:00:24,899 --> 00:00:28,611 so I need to make sure they're both age and fear appropriate. 13 00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:30,696 [screams] Oh, my God. 14 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:31,739 No, too scary. 15 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,366 Good lord. Bin, please. 16 00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:36,494 Oh! Little Black Panther. 17 00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:39,496 - [gasps] Oh. - Wakanda Forever! 18 00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:41,331 Maybe just Wakanda for the day. [claps] 19 00:00:41,332 --> 00:00:43,208 And maybe just keep your mask on, all right? 20 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,668 Okay, who's next? 21 00:00:44,669 --> 00:00:46,337 ["Hold 'Em" playing] 22 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,056 [music ends] 23 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,058 Yes. [chuckling] 24 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,309 Oh, sorry I'm a little late. 25 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:03,395 Oh, no problem, Nina. Good to see you. 26 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:05,606 So, uh, what do you have planned for Halloween today? 27 00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:08,859 Every year, a teacher is given the responsibility of turning the library 28 00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:12,404 into a Halloween party that all of the students can enjoy. 29 00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:15,908 And this year, Abbott is keeping it classy 30 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:19,161 because all of the treats are up to me, 31 00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:21,331 the number one trick. 32 00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,876 {\an8}Well, we're gonna be playing some ghostly games, 33 00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:27,461 {\an8}decorating some creepy crafts, 34 00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:30,214 {\an8}and the main event, bobbing for apples. 35 00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:32,800 {\an8}You know, I was talking to some of the parents at the PTA meeting... 36 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,343 {\an8}- Mm-hmm. - ...and we'd prefer if the kids 37 00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:36,178 {\an8}didn't bob for apples. It's unsanitary. 38 00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:39,098 {\an8}But she's been doing that since before I even got here. 39 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,474 {\an8}It's great. 40 00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:41,558 {\an8}We'd prefer you didn't do it. 41 00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:43,477 {\an8}- But it's tradition. - [Nina] So is tipping, 42 00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:45,354 {\an8}and I'd prefer we didn't do that either. 43 00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:47,272 {\an8}Well, I will take that under consideration. 44 00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:49,567 {\an8}No consideration needed. Just don't do it. 45 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,694 {\an8}Can I offer you a cupcake? 46 00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:54,905 {\an8}Are you handing those out to the kids? 47 00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:57,033 {\an8}'Cause you can't do that. And we all know why. 48 00:01:57,992 --> 00:01:59,910 {\an8}- Do we? - I certainly don't. 49 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,870 {\an8}They could have razor blades in them. 50 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,790 {\an8}Or worse, nuts. 51 00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:05,917 {\an8}Happy Halloween. 52 00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:08,169 {\an8}The happiest. 53 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:14,299 {\an8}Boy, you prank your cousin one time by putting a razor blade in a cookie, 54 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:17,052 and all of a sudden it starts a nationwide hoax. 55 00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:18,054 [chewing] 56 00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:20,682 {\an8}[scratching] 57 00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:25,727 {\an8}[Janine shrieks] 58 00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:27,521 {\an8}I did a creepy scratch 'cause it's Halloween. 59 00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:29,606 {\an8}Yeah, I didn't like that. But I love this. 60 00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:31,692 {\an8}Oh! Okay. Say the line. 61 00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:34,278 - Bingo. Dino DNA. [chuckling] - [laughs] 62 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,238 Oh, my God. Uncanny. It's like I'm watching the movie. 63 00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:37,782 - Okay, now say your line. - Oh, okay. 64 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,244 [screams] I'm an ancient mosquito who drank dinosaur blood 65 00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:43,453 and now I'm trapped in amber. 66 00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:45,038 - It's spot on. - [laughing] 67 00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:46,456 - We're such a movie couple. - I know. 68 00:02:46,457 --> 00:02:48,083 {\an8}- We love film. - Uh-huh. 69 00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:50,085 {\an8}[clicking fingers] Um... Pat Sajak! 70 00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:52,004 {\an8}Wow. You got a little wheel and everything. 71 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,130 {\an8}[Janine chuckles] Yeah. 72 00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:56,091 {\an8}Although, interesting choice for you, given his politics. 73 00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:58,302 {\an8}Well, I've taken a step back from Elon Musk's Internet, 74 00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:00,804 {\an8}and now it sometimes takes me weeks to find these things out. 75 00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:02,514 {\an8}So, you know, I figure if I didn't know-- 76 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:04,391 {\an8}Yeah, you already bought the suit when you found out. 77 00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:05,434 Yeah, no returns. 78 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:06,351 Yeah. 79 00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:07,520 Okay, now do us. 80 00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:10,439 Gregory is sexy gumballs. 81 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:14,401 And Janine is that thing on top of an exterminator truck. 82 00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:16,278 - [Janine chuckles] Yeah. - [chuckles] Very funny. 83 00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:17,363 [Janine] It's... 84 00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:20,782 - [stammers] You don't... - Do you really not know who we are? 85 00:03:20,783 --> 00:03:22,159 Well, give me a hint. 86 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,243 I'll give you a hint. 87 00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:24,411 [Gregory] Okay. Chill, chill. 88 00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:26,079 It's a movie, starts with a J. 89 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:27,164 Jumanji! 90 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:28,540 No, that doesn't make any sense. 91 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:29,833 Um, Jennifer's Body. 92 00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:32,127 - What? N-No, Jurassic Park. - [Janine chuckles] 93 00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:35,088 [stammers] I'm Mr. DNA and Janine is the mosquito trapped in amber. 94 00:03:35,089 --> 00:03:37,341 [Jacob] Oh. Oh. Yeah. 95 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:38,592 - Yeah, I see it. - [Gregory] Yeah. 96 00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:41,053 The best costumes always require an explanation. 97 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,723 Mmm. Well, thank you, Jacob. 98 00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:48,602 [chuckles] Yeah. First, we're gonna win the Abbott costume contest later today. 99 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:51,188 Then, we're gonna win the Rubenstein's contest tonight. 100 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:52,564 [Gregory] Get your broom out, brother. 101 00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:54,316 - There's gonna be a sweep. - [Janine] Mm-hmm. 102 00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:56,235 - [chuckles] A sweetie sweep. - [Janine chuckles] 103 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,653 Hey, who wants a spin? 104 00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,571 - Yeah, sure. I'll go. - [Gregory] Uh-huh. 105 00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:01,490 Okay. Yeah. [chuckles] 106 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:04,243 [imitating spinning noise] 107 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,328 Oh. 108 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,372 - Well, accurate. Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 109 00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:09,624 That was fun. 110 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,209 [Mr. Johnson] Who you supposed to be? 111 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,044 I kill vampires and I hate taxes. 112 00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:16,004 [gasps] Oh, Blade. 113 00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:18,715 - [Ms. Inez] What about you, Mr. Johnson? - Give you a hint. 114 00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:21,927 I can ball out, boy, but I'd rather be in Fall Out Boy. 115 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,888 He's emo Jimmy Butler, duh. 116 00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:26,306 There's not a costume I don't get. 117 00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:29,018 Oh, okay. Yeah, I... I get it. 118 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:31,938 It hurts when you lie, Jacob. 119 00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:34,606 [breathes heavily, sighs] 120 00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:38,318 Some days I wonder if anyone will ever understand me. 121 00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:40,904 - [Melissa] Oh. - Would anyone care for a tasty cupcake... 122 00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:42,030 - Yes. - ...since apparently, 123 00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:44,241 I cannot give them to my students anymore. 124 00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:47,828 [Ava] Yeah, can't have that. [chuckles] Might have razor blades in 'em. 125 00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:48,954 Then why are you taking one? 126 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,998 Well, I know you didn't put razor blades in them. 127 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:52,499 You ain't got that dog in you. [chuckles] 128 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,293 [Barbara] Then why would you say they might? 129 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,795 Since when do my cupcakes have razor blades in them? 130 00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:59,798 Since when can't kids bob for apples because it's unsanitary? 131 00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:01,759 Oh, that I get. It's objectively gross. 132 00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:05,262 Jacob, you are Pat Sajak. 133 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:07,889 Wheel of Fortune is an institution. 134 00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:11,977 You above all should understand the importance of tradition. 135 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:16,648 My students have bobbed for apples since I started here at Abbott, 136 00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:19,735 and not one time has anyone reported sick. 137 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,987 And now I don't have a main event for the library. 138 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,947 Well, you gotta figure out how to fill that time. 139 00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:25,657 - [Barbara] Hmm. - [gasps] Wait, I got it. 140 00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:28,076 You could carve pumpkins and call them "Black-o'-lanterns". 141 00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:30,871 Okay, I won't comment on the name, but that's a bad idea. 142 00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,623 What about ghost stories? Roz, you could do the voices. 143 00:05:33,624 --> 00:05:36,043 Oh, I am not reading for three hours straight. 144 00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:38,587 - Just like the cat, lazy. - Lazy. 145 00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:43,216 Now, you all, it's not as if Roz could do that many voices anyway. 146 00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:46,178 [Transylvanian accent] Okay fine, I will do it. 147 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,597 [chuckles] Wait. 148 00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:50,766 I'm waiting for Janine so we can make our big entrance. 149 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,225 It is a couple's costume after all. 150 00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:55,146 - [pants] Ready. [exhales sharply] Ready. - [Gregory] Ready. 151 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,022 [Janine chuckling] 152 00:05:57,023 --> 00:06:00,026 Okay. Okay, don't tell me, I'm eight for eight today. I'll get it. 153 00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:01,861 You're... 154 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,488 You are, um... 155 00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:07,491 teachers in crappy costumes. [chuckling] I don't... 156 00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,368 [scoffs, chuckles] Oh. You know what? 157 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:12,245 We are standing on the wrong side of each other, we talked about this. 158 00:06:12,246 --> 00:06:13,873 - Hold, please. - [stammers] Sorry. 159 00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:16,875 Mosquito in amber and Mr. DNA. 160 00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,168 - From Jurassic Park. - [Gregory] Thank you. 161 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:19,753 - Yeah, I got it earlier in one guess. - [Janine] Yay. 162 00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:23,340 Oh, babies, this is, uh, terrible. 163 00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,759 [chuckles, shrieks] What? No, it is not. 164 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,386 I mean, come on, Ava get's it, so... 165 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,096 Yeah, I get it. I didn't say it was good. 166 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:31,556 - [Barbara grunts] - I know what rye bread is. Still nasty. 167 00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:33,683 Yeah. I mean, it doesn't even make sense as a concept. 168 00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:35,352 Oh, that's 'cause you don't know the movie. 169 00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:36,686 - [Janine] Yeah. - [Melissa] Oh, I'm sorry. 170 00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:38,730 What don't I know about the oldest movie in history 171 00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:41,316 to surpass a billion dollars in ticket sales? 172 00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:45,237 These [bleeps] kids think they're the only ones that know anything about movies. 173 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:48,031 You guys, I'm sorry but you don't know what you talking about. 174 00:06:48,032 --> 00:06:50,450 I mean, whose couple's costume is touching ours? 175 00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:52,744 - [Melissa] Mine. - You are a single guinea pig. 176 00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,037 Mm-hmm. [chews] 177 00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:57,374 I say this not as a hater, but as a connoisseur of culture... 178 00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,084 When did you start coming in the lounge? 179 00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:01,962 ...the two of you don't stand a chance in that costume contest. 180 00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:05,006 Well, I'll say it as a hater, "haterly," y'all gonna lose. 181 00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:09,803 But you are going to do it being so very yourselves, 182 00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:10,929 and that's beautiful. 183 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:13,140 - Yeah, this costume is very on-brand. - [Barbara] Mm-hmm. 184 00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,641 And what does that mean? 185 00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:16,852 She means you a headass couple doing headass things. 186 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,145 - [Barbara] Hmm. - I'm sorry, headass? 187 00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:21,064 Look, in this scenario, I think it refers to two lovers 188 00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:24,985 who are in their own slightly delusional, somewhat cheesy, bubble. 189 00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:27,696 You know, unable to see how the outside world is perceiving them. 190 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,114 Stop explaining slang. 191 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:31,741 And I know what it means, Jacob. And we're not it at all, so... 192 00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:35,662 Oh, I disagree, Mr. Headass and headass trapped in amber. 193 00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:38,957 - [Melissa, Ava chuckling] - Oh, I'm see a heap of "headassery". 194 00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:42,210 Yeah, it's like you're in your own little headass world thinking you're so cute. 195 00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:43,295 - Hey, we are cute. - [Barbara] Hmm. 196 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,838 Cutest little headasses I ever saw. 197 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,590 - We are not headass. - [Ava] Yeah? 198 00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:47,675 Then what's this? 199 00:07:48,217 --> 00:07:51,636 [all laughing] 200 00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:54,806 [Ms. Inez] Let me see. Let me see. Show me. Show me. Perfect. 201 00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:56,767 - [laughing continues] - [Melissa] Oh, my God. 202 00:07:57,351 --> 00:08:00,270 Yes, welcome, welcome, all. Come on in. 203 00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:03,565 So you guys decided to still go with the bad costumes? 204 00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:04,733 They're not bad. 205 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,401 Oh, I'm sorry. Headass. 206 00:08:06,402 --> 00:08:08,528 So, a headass costume would be like... 207 00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:09,821 - PB and J. - Yes. 208 00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:11,281 - Or salt and pepper. - [Janine] Mm-hmm. 209 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,241 - Or ketchup and mustard. - [Janine] Yeah. 210 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:15,410 - Our costumes are thoughtful. Highbrow. - Whip-smart. 211 00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:16,496 Headass. 212 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:19,247 - [carrot snaps] - [Melissa chewing] 213 00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:22,334 And he heard a voice that said, 214 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:26,255 [imitating character] "Where is my golden arm?" 215 00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:28,799 [Barbara. Ms. Inez] "You've got it!" 216 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:33,220 - Was that supposed to be scary? - Do Skibidi Toilet next. 217 00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:36,431 I got a ghost story so scary it will make your toenails curl. 218 00:08:36,432 --> 00:08:37,767 [Barbara] Okay. 219 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,686 Vietnam, 1971. 220 00:08:42,146 --> 00:08:43,480 I was on vacation-- 221 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:44,773 [Barbara] Stop, Mr. Johnson. 222 00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,108 This isn't working. 223 00:08:47,735 --> 00:08:49,195 My suffering continues. 224 00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:54,992 Um, I'm all out of stories and we've got an hour and a half to kill. 225 00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:57,495 [Barbara, Ms. Inez chuckling] 226 00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:02,208 Attention, everyone. 227 00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:04,668 It's time to pivot. 228 00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,169 I don't care what those parents say. 229 00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:07,837 They are not here in the trenches. 230 00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:10,091 So we are bobbing for apples. 231 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:13,009 [student] Hey. What are y'all dressed as? 232 00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,094 Oh. 233 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,805 Well, I am the mosquito in amber from Jurassic Park. 234 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:17,806 And I'm Mr. DNA. 235 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:18,932 What is that? 236 00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,518 A DNA strand is the blueprint to all living creatures. 237 00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:22,602 You know, from the movie. 238 00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:25,355 Why aren't you dinosaurs? 239 00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:29,985 Well, because the mosquito and Mr. DNA are the bedrock of the film. 240 00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:32,154 You could've just been dinosaurs. 241 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,864 It's a valid point. 242 00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:37,951 I'm not gonna lie, I'm starting to think we're not gonna win later. 243 00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:40,036 I mean, the teachers not getting it is one thing, 244 00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:42,330 but the kids don't seem to get it either, so... [sighs] 245 00:09:42,331 --> 00:09:44,416 Hey, do not let that kid shake your confidence, okay? 246 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,500 Okay. Okay. 247 00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:47,127 Have you seen his drawings? 248 00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:48,336 - They're ass. - They are. 249 00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:50,839 They're ass. [chuckles] They're really bad. 250 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:54,384 He doesn't know how to shade or stay in the lines or crosshatch. 251 00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:56,386 - What does he know about art and culture? - You're right. 252 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:57,721 - Jerk. - Nothing. 253 00:09:57,722 --> 00:10:01,266 Now it is time to bob for apples. 254 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,018 - [Melissa cheers] - [Barbara] You go first. 255 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,770 There ya go. 256 00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:09,442 Mrs. Howard, our parents said we can't do that. 257 00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:12,861 I understand. 258 00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:17,073 And that is why we are not going to tell any of our parents. 259 00:10:17,074 --> 00:10:19,576 After all, it's Halloween. 260 00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:22,495 A day for deceit. 261 00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:25,915 So... [shushing] 262 00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:27,500 Actually, that was just an excuse. 263 00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:28,752 I don't wanna do it. 264 00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,338 Okay, fine. Sit it out. 265 00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,255 More apples for the rest of us. 266 00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:34,883 - I don't want to either. - Wait. Why not? 267 00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:38,428 Because the water goes up my nose and it's gross and it's germy. 268 00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:40,221 And we all just had ringworm. 269 00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:42,057 [Barbara] Come on, this is gonna be fun. 270 00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:43,475 It's a tradition. 271 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:47,479 My students have been doing this since when I first started teaching. 272 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,397 Yeah, but that was, like, a thousand years ago. 273 00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:52,651 [Melissa] Mr. Gregory's class did it last year and they had a blast. 274 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,277 Go ahead, tell them how much fun it was. 275 00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:58,740 I didn't say anything last year, but I think it's nasty. 276 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,826 - Okay, you're dressed as a toilet, kid. - That should tell you how gross it is. 277 00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:02,952 [Barbara] Okay, fine. 278 00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:06,539 I will show you just how much fun it can be. [inhales sharply] 279 00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:08,166 - [Melissa] Wow. - [Janine] Oh, she's going in. 280 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,542 - [Melissa] Yeah! - [Barbara gurgling] 281 00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:11,294 How do you like them apples? 282 00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:14,214 Don't come back up till you get all of 'em, Barb! 283 00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:15,840 - [cheers, laughs] - [students applauding] 284 00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:17,425 - [Barbara gasping] - [students screaming, laughing] 285 00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:20,220 - [Janine, Gregory groan] - [Barbara] See how much fun this is, kids? 286 00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:22,597 I'm gonna get one the next time. 287 00:11:22,598 --> 00:11:24,307 - Yeah. [gurgling] - Oh, sure. 288 00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:28,479 Let's just splash water everywhere in the only carpeted room in the school. 289 00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:30,980 What is Melissa doing? 290 00:11:30,981 --> 00:11:32,816 Hey. Don't worry about that, okay? 291 00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,609 - [Gregory] It's go time. - Okay. How do I look? 292 00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,861 - Like we 'bout to win a costume contest. - [Janine] Right? 293 00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:38,446 [Ava] It's time for the pairs. 294 00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:40,950 All my dynamic duos, come on up. 295 00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:43,576 Corn and scarecrow. 296 00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:46,663 Mr. DNA and mosquito trapped in amber. 297 00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:48,915 And... [stammers] Miss Schemmenti. 298 00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:51,418 Miss Schemmenti, where's your partner? 299 00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:53,503 I'm so glad you asked that, Andrew. 300 00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:57,299 Presenting Sweet Cheeks and... 301 00:11:58,008 --> 00:12:00,301 Miss Schemmenti! 302 00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:03,596 [audience applauding, whistling] 303 00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:04,682 [Mr. Johnson] Oh, my God. 304 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:06,850 I don't know who's who. 305 00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:07,934 [both stammering] 306 00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:09,811 - It's gimmicky. - Yeah. I mean, it's derivative. 307 00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:11,396 - I've definitely seen it before. - Right? 308 00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:12,897 - Where did she get that wig? - [Sweet Cheeks squeaking] 309 00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:16,901 And the winner is, by unanimous decision, without a doubt: 310 00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:19,654 - Miss Schemmenti and Sweet Cheeks. - [audience applauding, cheering] 311 00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:20,739 [Gregory] Excuse me? 312 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,742 [cheering continues] 313 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:24,784 [Melissa] Oh, my God. 314 00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:27,370 Oh, my God. Thank you so much. 315 00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:30,623 I took me 14 hours to sew this little pleather jacket. 316 00:12:30,624 --> 00:12:33,835 And if we had lost, I would've been in a really dark place. 317 00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,420 - [Sweet Cheeks squeaking] - So thank you. 318 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,380 - Thanks so much, y'all. - [audience applauding] 319 00:12:37,381 --> 00:12:40,175 [Janine scoffs] Okay, but we would've gotten second, right? 320 00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:41,259 No you wouldn't have. 321 00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,636 The scarecrow and the corn had it in the bag. 322 00:12:43,637 --> 00:12:46,389 What can we say? It lacks a certain je ne sais quoi. 323 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:47,807 Oh yeah, says the goat. 324 00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:51,686 That's right, the GOAT. Muhammad Ali. 325 00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:52,772 Oh. 326 00:12:55,107 --> 00:12:57,567 - That's really good. Very good. - Yeah, that's very good, Andrew. 327 00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,068 That's very creative. 328 00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:04,032 Our next category is unpopular teachers that insisted on participating anyway. 329 00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:06,160 [sighs] We've got... 330 00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:08,537 Y'all see 'em. 331 00:13:09,413 --> 00:13:10,997 Mr. Hill, who are you supposed to be? 332 00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:13,291 Oh, I'm, uh, I'm-I'm Pat Sajak. [chuckles] 333 00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:14,667 Who's that? 334 00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:16,503 Yeah, you guys probably don't know him. It's... It's fine. 335 00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,421 I will take my L expeditiously. 336 00:13:18,422 --> 00:13:20,298 Of course they know him. 337 00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:21,716 The man is an icon. 338 00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:22,967 Okay, come on. 339 00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:27,889 Show of hands, who knows Mr. Patrick Sajak? 340 00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,724 [Melissa] Barb, they don't know him. 341 00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:31,644 We just need to jog their memory. 342 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,687 - Why is she standing up? - No idea. 343 00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:36,105 Come on, y'all. 344 00:13:36,106 --> 00:13:41,861 Pulling up the TV tray with a piping hot potpie to watch the wheel. 345 00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:44,197 It's an American tradition. 346 00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:45,949 Like bobbing for apples. 347 00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,158 Spin the wheel, Jacob. 348 00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:49,035 Yep. [chuckles] 349 00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:50,621 Harder. 350 00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:52,664 [Barbara laughs] 351 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,333 Oh, kids. You don't know this? 352 00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:57,752 It's probably because he doesn't even host Wheel of Fortune anymore. 353 00:13:57,753 --> 00:14:00,338 - What you talking about, boy? - Well, he's retired. 354 00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:03,508 Forty-one years, 8000 'sodes. He had a good run. 355 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,511 What are they gonna do without him, huh? Spin the wheel themselves? 356 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:07,720 - Well, they always, uh-- - [Barbara] Jacob, 357 00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:09,681 leave the stage and come back so that you can receive 358 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:12,518 the level of applause and appreciation that you deserve. 359 00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:14,227 - Okay. - [Barbara] Mm-hmm. 360 00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:16,855 Barb, hey, just let this go and then later we'll get a drink-- 361 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,565 - I do not need a drink, Melissa. - Okay. 362 00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:23,486 I need these children to recognize a cultural icon. 363 00:14:23,487 --> 00:14:25,864 Yes! [laughs] 364 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,699 - [Gregory] Yeah. - [Janine] Yeah. 365 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:32,495 I said clap for Pat Sajak or Halloween is canceled! 366 00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:33,580 [Melissa] Oh. 367 00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:35,124 [students applauding] 368 00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,585 [chattering] 369 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:39,670 [Barbara] Oh... 370 00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:42,338 - Maybe I do need a drink. - Yes. 371 00:14:42,339 --> 00:14:43,549 [chuckles] I'm sorry. 372 00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,135 ["Somebody's Watching Me" playing] 373 00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:52,724 Hey. 374 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,976 This costume is itchy. My last costume wasn't itchy. 375 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,769 I have no access to my pockets. 376 00:14:56,770 --> 00:15:01,566 So, we realized that our original costumes were going over people's heads. 377 00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:02,650 - Too highbrow. - Yeah. 378 00:15:02,651 --> 00:15:05,945 So we stopped at Spirit Halloween and picked up something else. 379 00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:08,448 With these costumes, which are actually headass... 380 00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:09,657 - Mm-hmm. - ...we have a chance of winning. 381 00:15:09,658 --> 00:15:11,284 - Which we wanna do. - Yeah. 382 00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,161 'Cause we want people to look at us and go, 383 00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,662 "They go good together." 384 00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:16,247 'Cause we do go good together. 385 00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:19,292 Like peanut butter and jelly. [sighs] 386 00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:20,543 GE and J. 387 00:15:20,544 --> 00:15:22,045 [Janine sighs] 388 00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:25,089 Oh! Peanut butter! Jelly! 389 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,633 Nom, nom, nom. [laughs] 390 00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:27,842 [Janine, Gregory] Thank you. 391 00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:29,802 I'm not even a protein. I'm basically just candy. 392 00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:30,929 I told you we could switch. 393 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,597 - No, it's fine. It's fine. - All right. 394 00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:33,848 How do I get to my phone? 395 00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:36,601 I don't know why not being able to bob for apples 396 00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:37,852 bothered me so much, 397 00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:39,562 but it really did. 398 00:15:39,563 --> 00:15:41,231 I don't know. I... 399 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,107 I just don't know. 400 00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:45,027 Barb, you lost a tradition. 401 00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:46,945 Yeah, that's right. 402 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,364 Okay, so my family used to barbecue on the lawn 403 00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:51,449 at the old Coal and Iron Police headquarters, 404 00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:54,619 and then one year a burning coal 405 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:58,165 mysteriously found its way into the building and it burned down. 406 00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:02,252 But the next year, we found a new site to desecrate. 407 00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:04,337 Because that's what you do. 408 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:07,340 Yeah, but I've been bobbing since before I can remember. 409 00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:09,717 - I was so good at it. - [chuckling] 410 00:16:09,718 --> 00:16:11,552 They used to call me Bobra. 411 00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:13,680 [Melissa laughing] 412 00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:15,015 I'm not gonna forget this. 413 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:19,227 The day I stop doing something I don't even remember starting. 414 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,647 Well, tonight we'll just start a new tradition, okay? 415 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,400 'Cause we keep on pushing. 416 00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:26,735 We adjust. 417 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:28,736 Yeah. 418 00:16:28,737 --> 00:16:30,990 'Cause things never stop changing. 419 00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:36,285 Pat Sajak, reporting for duty. 420 00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:37,578 Pat Sajak? 421 00:16:37,579 --> 00:16:38,997 - [Jacob] Pat Sajak. - Did you know-- 422 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,248 Yeah, I-I know. I know. 423 00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:41,916 I know now, okay? 424 00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:44,293 But not until after I made the wheel. 425 00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:46,629 And what am I supposed to do with this thing? Just throw it out? 426 00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:47,840 Look at the craftsmanship. 427 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,220 - Hi. Uh, peanut butter. - And jelly. 428 00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:55,930 Peanut butter, your tag's still on. 429 00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:57,016 Really? 430 00:16:58,142 --> 00:16:59,143 I don't... Where? 431 00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:01,352 - [Janine] I don't see it. Where is it? - [Gregory] Oh, wait. Spin around. Okay. 432 00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:02,438 Hold on. 433 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,107 [Janine] Wait, wait. Don't pop it. 434 00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,818 Gregory, look at that couple's costume. 435 00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:10,862 [both] Ash Wednesday. 436 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,614 - [Janine chuckles] - [Gregory] That's headass. 437 00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,533 It is. 438 00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:18,870 Uh, we'd like to change our submission, please. [clears throat] 439 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,204 Uh, hey. What are you doing? 440 00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:21,456 [Janine] Look, look, look, look. 441 00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,332 We need to go back to our original costumes. 442 00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:24,250 But no one will get it. 443 00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:26,836 We'll get it, and that's all that matters. 444 00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:30,840 Look, as long as we are in our own bubble together, 445 00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:32,468 no one could ever pop it. 446 00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:38,056 So, can we change our submission? 447 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,390 Imagine if I said no. 448 00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:41,142 I'm gonna be Mr. DNA. 449 00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:43,478 And I am gonna be a mosquito trapped in amber. [chuckles] 450 00:17:43,479 --> 00:17:44,520 Whatever. 451 00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:45,938 - You write it down? - Did you write it down? 452 00:17:45,939 --> 00:17:47,566 Yeah. No... I'm writing it. 453 00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:49,485 Okay. 454 00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:53,362 All right, who wants to bob for apple schnapps? 455 00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:55,782 Yeah! Two right here, right here, right here. 456 00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:57,366 Okay, there you go. Thanks, sweetheart. 457 00:17:57,367 --> 00:17:59,244 Okay, come on, Bobra, let's see what you got. 458 00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:01,330 [grunts] 459 00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:03,123 [squeals] 460 00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:05,750 - [cheers] - [Barbara laughing] 461 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:08,795 [Melissa grunts] Yeah... Oh, boo. 462 00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:11,172 Are we still doing nurse's costumes? 463 00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:13,966 C'mon, that's not even a sexy one. [laughing] 464 00:18:13,967 --> 00:18:16,636 [Barbara] Melissa, I think that person is an actual nurse. 465 00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:18,055 [smacks lips] I said what I said. 466 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:21,432 See, this could be our new tradition. 467 00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:22,767 - [taps bar] - Two more. 468 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:25,728 The next contestants are... 469 00:18:25,729 --> 00:18:28,022 [chuckling] What... Uh-- 470 00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:29,273 Oh, my God, I don't even know. 471 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:31,275 - I knew he wasn't gonna write it down. - It's fine... I know. 472 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:32,568 - Just go, just go. - Why didn't he write it down? 473 00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:34,695 - Look at this. [muttering] - [Gregory] They'll know. They'll know. 474 00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:37,031 [Janine] Hey. Hi, every... Oh. 475 00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:38,450 I'm so sorry. Yeah. 476 00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:43,247 You might recognize us from Steven Spielberg's masterpiece, 477 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,124 Jurassic Park. 478 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:47,500 [mic hisses] 479 00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:52,046 I'm the incredibly clever way of providing exposition, Mr. DNA. 480 00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:53,381 He looks just like it. 481 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:55,299 And I... 482 00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:59,762 I am a riveting plot device, the mosquito trapped in amber. 483 00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:00,763 Uh-huh. 484 00:19:00,764 --> 00:19:02,307 - [MC] Oh. Okay. - [patrons mumbling] 485 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:05,601 [Jacob] Well I love it! 486 00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:06,894 Hear, hear! 487 00:19:06,895 --> 00:19:07,979 Innovative. 488 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,272 [Mr. Johnson] Would you cut it out? 489 00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:10,815 [Janine] Thank you, persons we don't know. 490 00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,984 Okay, let's hear it for the effort. 491 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,193 [patrons mumble] 492 00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:16,070 [sparse applause] 493 00:19:16,071 --> 00:19:17,281 Okay, who's next? 494 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:22,201 - [patron] Wait a minute. - [patrons gasping] 495 00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:23,536 [MC chuckling] Whoa-ho-ho-ho! 496 00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:27,332 Next up, we have Grace Jones with a sword [laughs] 497 00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:30,626 I'm Blade, bitch. 498 00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:33,129 [patrons cheering] 499 00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:35,798 [imitating slicing sounds] 500 00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:37,426 [patrons cheering, applauding] 501 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,890 - [patron laughs] - Who wants to bob for more shots, guys? 502 00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:45,308 [Melissa] Oh, yes. Right here. 503 00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:46,434 We've already paid for 'em. 504 00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:48,477 You take one. Get you one, Barbara. 505 00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:49,520 You know, I'm gonna head out. 506 00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:51,230 - What? Are you okay? - [Barbara] Yeah. 507 00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:53,442 This has been fun. I'm just a little tired. 508 00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:55,693 Do you need me to walk you to your car? 509 00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:57,778 - This sword only looks fake. - [Barbara chuckles] 510 00:19:57,779 --> 00:19:59,822 - [Barbara] Thank you, I'll be fine. - Okay. 511 00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:01,199 Y'all get home safe now. 512 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,284 [Jacob] We will. 513 00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:04,577 Oh, my God. 514 00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:05,661 Sweet Cheeks. 515 00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:07,205 Look for Sweet Cheeks. Look for him. 516 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:10,875 Every... Hey, everybody look for a guinea pig who looks like me but little. 517 00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:12,001 Can you see anything? 518 00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:13,586 No. Wait a minute. 519 00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:14,795 Never mind. Didn't bring him. 520 00:20:14,796 --> 00:20:15,880 As you were. 521 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,007 - [all laughing] - [Melissa laughs] I didn't bring him! 522 00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:19,800 [Jacob] To Sweet Cheeks! 523 00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:21,469 [all cheering] 524 00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:23,763 [Barbara] It certainly was a different Halloween for me. 525 00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:25,349 Tried a few new things. 526 00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:28,392 That's the interesting thing about traditions. 527 00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:32,104 I mean, the first time you do them, it's just something you're testing out. 528 00:20:32,105 --> 00:20:35,900 There's something so beautiful about unwittingly discovering things 529 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:39,321 that will become so important to you and those you hold dear. 530 00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:43,282 On the bright side, I heard that Pat Sajak 531 00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:46,452 is gonna be hosting Celebrity Wheel of Fortune. 532 00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:50,082 And, well, maybe I can replace Vanna White. 533 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:52,876 What do you think? 534 00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:56,129 [Ava laughs] Yeah, but you a ghost every year. 535 00:20:57,965 --> 00:21:00,259 [student] Oh. Daywalker. [hisses] 536 00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:07,474 {\an8}Bloodsuckers. 537 00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:11,353 {\an8}[imitates sword chiming] 538 00:21:12,145 --> 00:21:13,312 {\an8}[imitates slice] 539 00:21:13,313 --> 00:21:14,564 {\an8}[growls] 540 00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:18,025 {\an8}[screams] Ya! 541 00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:19,986 {\an8}[students laughing] 542 00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:21,405 {\an8}All right, see y'all at school tomorrow. 543 00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:24,366 {\an8}[snarls] Ha!