1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,920
(威拉德艾培公立小學)

2
00:00:04,546 --> 00:00:08,341
拍攝劇組,你們好嗎?
歡迎回到艾娃打造的天下

3
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:10,343
好久不見,你們沒錯過什麼

4
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:14,097
瞧瞧誰來啦,有五個月了吧,你們好嗎?

5
00:00:14,597 --> 00:00:16,558
- 你們好,還繼續回來拍?
- 對

6
00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:20,186
我的天,是你們,抱歉

7
00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:24,190
你們買了新器材
聽著,我不想事後嘮叨...

8
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:26,985
我來,你們那天晚上應該聽雅各的
在第30街右轉

9
00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:28,570
而不是左轉

10
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,613
你要我告訴你,你們怎麼了?

11
00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:32,782
懂了,是跟觀眾說

12
00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:35,785
他們被搶了
因為他們覺得大半夜地在西費城

13
00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:37,454
扛著那些器材閒晃很酷

14
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:39,581
要是我在現場,我也會跟著打劫

15
00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:41,499
總之,就這樣過了五個月

16
00:00:41,499 --> 00:00:43,752
因為要三個主修藝術的人存夠錢

17
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,420
買新攝影機,得花三個月

18
00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:48,798
歡迎回來,但不幸的是,今天是職業日

19
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,014
艾娃!

20
00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:57,974
不打算在職業日保持清醒?

21
00:00:57,974 --> 00:01:00,727
這是學區的事,就交給他們

22
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,604
有人也覺得學區的人

23
00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:04,064
比以前更討人厭嗎?

24
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,273
沒那麼糟啦

25
00:01:05,273 --> 00:01:06,483
我覺得他們很酷

26
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,151
我覺得今年的不錯

27
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:09,235
真意外

28
00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:10,195
不知道

29
00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:13,948
他們毫無疑問地比任何時候都討人厭

30
00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:16,117
沒用就算了,還令人難以忍受

31
00:01:16,701 --> 00:01:18,536
早安,艾培小學

32
00:01:18,536 --> 00:01:20,830
- 早
-「早安,艾培小學」

33
00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:25,502
對,我現在在學區工作

34
00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:26,836
你們錯過很多事

35
00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:29,631
《小學風雲》

36
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:32,258
(威拉德艾培公立小學)

37
00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:34,969
(團結、積極、創新、卓越、成就)

38
00:01:39,682 --> 00:01:42,435
(五個月前)

39
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,813
{\an8}(費城學區教育委員會)

40
00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:45,897
{\an8}(教師培訓日)

41
00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:49,234
{\an8}嗨,各位

42
00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:50,318
{\an8}左邊還右邊?

43
00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:51,903
{\an8}左邊,謝謝

44
00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:53,279
{\an8}選得好,選得好

45
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:56,991
{\an8}姊妹,這個教師培訓日讓我頭痛死了

46
00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:59,327
{\an8}麻煩給我一顆阿斯匹林

47
00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:01,162
{\an8}這是安眠藥

48
00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:04,457
{\an8}有火警、龍捲風或火山爆發的話再叫我

49
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,628
{\an8}艾培小學的優質老師們早安

50
00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:11,631
{\an8}怎樣?

51
00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:15,468
{\an8}不針對優質的葛瑞格發表言論嗎?

52
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:18,138
{\an8}不,夏滿蒂老師,我在對大家說話

53
00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:20,223
{\an8}但既然大家都在看他...

54
00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:23,393
{\an8}艾迪老師,能麻煩你唸

55
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:26,020
{\an8}你精心整理的資料夾中的第一段嗎?

56
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:27,730
{\an8}用性感嗓音?

57
00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:29,482
{\an8}你說什麼?

58
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:33,528
{\an8}你太輕浮了,尤其在外賓面前更加不恰當

59
00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:38,074
{\an8}嗨,大家好,我們是學區的人

60
00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:42,495
{\an8}柯爾曼校長邀請我們參加教師培訓日

61
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:44,164
{\an8}走察觀課並與各位合作

62
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:47,792
{\an8}沒錯,我在劍橋求學的收穫之一

63
00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:49,919
{\an8}便是合作的重要性

64
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:52,755
{\an8}對,我這個暑假去了哈佛

65
00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:55,967
{\an8}我坐在他們的校園,使用他們的無線網路

66
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:58,469
{\an8}透過教育代辦取得我的教育學位

67
00:02:58,469 --> 00:02:59,387
{\an8}(大峽谷大學)

68
00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:02,348
{\an8}我學到當一位校長應盡的職責

69
00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:05,560
{\an8}原來我一直都做錯了

70
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,020
{\an8}都沒人告訴我

71
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:10,899
{\an8}總之,我現在全心投入,照本宣科

72
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:13,026
{\an8}對了,我現在很愛書本

73
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:16,988
我們謹代表新任的學區總長約翰雷農
很期待蒞臨貴校

74
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:20,700
我是曼尼
這是我的夢幻團隊,艾蜜莉和賽門

75
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:23,745
我們並非空手而來
我們帶了iPad和互動電子白板

76
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,955
方便師生使用學習軟體

77
00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:30,543
改良後的新型號...

78
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:32,170
換湯不換藥的老引擎

79
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:35,006
他們別妄想能改變什麼現況

80
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:37,008
他們只會增加教室裡的人數

81
00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:38,885
謝謝,我們回頭見

82
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:39,969
謝謝

83
00:03:41,095 --> 00:03:45,016
{\an8}葛瑞格,仍要麻煩你打開資料夾唸A段落

84
00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:49,145
「A段落

85
00:03:49,145 --> 00:03:50,480
歡迎返校

86
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,106
A段落結束」

87
00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:54,776
謝謝你,艾迪老師,請坐下

88
00:03:57,153 --> 00:03:59,906
「詢問教師們這個暑假有無新想法

89
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,199
有無想執行的點子

90
00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:02,367
盡量活絡氣氛」

91
00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:08,456
大家這個暑假有想到什麼好點子嗎?

92
00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:13,628
{\an8}珍妮,艾培最那個的教師之一

93
00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:16,798
我這個暑假趁著獨處時間思考了很多

94
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:18,633
我思考是什麼讓我走到今天...

95
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:20,885
- 講重點
- 講重點,珍妮

96
00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:23,554
好,職業日,我們應該在學校辦職業日

97
00:04:23,554 --> 00:04:26,808
因為我查了一下,發現上次辦這個活動時

98
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:28,935
女人的工作還停留在打字員、媽媽和護士

99
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:32,730
讓孩子們了解
未來可從事哪些厲害的職業,是很棒的事

100
00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:35,316
就這樣,這是我的想法,講完了,職業日

101
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:38,444
我可以列舉一堆行不通的原因

102
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:42,115
光是行程問題和過往的失敗經驗
加上這是妳的點子...

103
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,199
對,但有個方法...

104
00:04:43,199 --> 00:04:46,619
但我還是直接拒絕,給妳台階下

105
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,496
我在這裡教書教了第四年

106
00:04:48,496 --> 00:04:51,499
我浪費很多時間力抗萬難

107
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,169
所以我決定當個好老師就好,懂意思嗎?

108
00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:57,922
學芭芭拉一樣,盡己所能就好

109
00:04:58,423 --> 00:04:59,757
也許該開始戴珍珠飾品

110
00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:03,261
嘿,妳是珍妮吧?
我是曼尼,我剛在台上自我介紹過

111
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:06,848
我想跟妳說職業日感覺很棒,這主意真讚

112
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:08,766
- 我想聽更多細節
- 謝謝

113
00:05:08,766 --> 00:05:11,853
- 你們新加入學區的工作?
- 對,這暑假開始的

114
00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:14,605
目前為止我很喜歡
我有把握能做出積極的改變

115
00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:16,774
做到之前的行政人員做不到的事

116
00:05:16,774 --> 00:05:19,193
在我的監管下,沒人敢挪用公款

117
00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:22,071
太棒了

118
00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:24,741
我們今天其實要觀摩一位老師

119
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:25,658
能觀摩妳嗎?

120
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:28,119
當然,我正要去布置教室

121
00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:29,120
真令人期待

122
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,456
- 是很令人期待,那...
- 對

123
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:34,459
我去叫同事來,他們在和柯爾曼校長講話

124
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:37,337
你們很幸運,有這麼棒的校長

125
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:39,464
是啊

126
00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:42,300
現在拿這個太早了吧?

127
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:46,554
聖誕節還久呢
但看你穿那件上衣搬重物,永遠不嫌早

128
00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:47,680
這件嗎?

129
00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:50,141
這可是好丈夫的料子

130
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:53,478
對了,妳聽說摩頓老師的事嗎?

131
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:54,562
什麼事?

132
00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:56,314
他這個暑假祕密結婚了

133
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:58,191
- 在拉斯維加斯嗎?
- 好時主題樂園

134
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,609
有品味

135
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:02,695
妳居然沒嗤之以鼻,但我提結婚時妳都...

136
00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:04,322
對...沒錯

137
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:06,741
你好好把迷你冰箱搬到插座旁就好了

138
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:10,661
男友會搬冰箱進屋
但老公會把冰箱移到插座旁

139
00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:13,122
是喔,但炮友都會言聽計從

140
00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:14,999
所以別逼我去找一個

141
00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:19,712
你來學區工作前在哪裡任教?

142
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:22,590
我其實沒有任教經驗,但我在這裡長大

143
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:25,885
我的第一手經驗
就是我在這一區當學生的學習過程

144
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:26,969
了解

145
00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:30,098
這也是我來艾培任教的原因

146
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:32,767
我以前也是這一區的學生,所以...

147
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,268
這是我的教室

148
00:06:34,268 --> 00:06:35,353
妳在製作什麼?

149
00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:37,897
歡迎返校的標語,給孩子們的

150
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:42,068
大家一起裝飾,不讓任何一個人落單

151
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:44,028
我嘗試運用很多顏色

152
00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:46,572
我想用藍色,因為可以激發專注力

153
00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:49,075
以及冷靜,這對小學生非常重要

154
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,910
我在粉筆動態論壇看到的

155
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:51,869
你會看粉筆動態?

156
00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:54,497
評論區基本上是我家,所以...

157
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:56,707
天哪,妳是@JTeagues215嗎?

158
00:06:56,707 --> 00:07:00,795
正是,我想增加討論熱度時
會改用@JTeagues267

159
00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:03,506
蒂格老師,我是@Mannyfromtheblock
我最愛用這個表情符號

160
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:04,924
- 那個是你!
- 正是我

161
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:07,093
- 我超愛你的留言
- 我超愛妳的留言

162
00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:12,223
總之,我之前想把牆漆成藍色,但你們...

163
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:14,600
學區不喜歡這個點子,所以...

164
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,936
什麼,為什麼?這點子超棒

165
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:19,730
我認為這是我們最該執行的點子

166
00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:22,024
這是低風險又高回報的改造

167
00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:23,443
對,重新納入考慮

168
00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:27,321
- 妳還好嗎?
- 我還好

169
00:07:27,321 --> 00:07:29,449
我只是得到太多正面肯定了

170
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,868
(書寫的力量)

171
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,202
艾娃,我已經說過

172
00:07:33,202 --> 00:07:36,414
我沒興趣參加《千金求鑽石》

173
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,958
傑瑞德還活得好好的

174
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,960
我其實是想談談妳的課桌安排

175
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,211
我在哈佛的時候

176
00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:45,423
學到共享座位對幼童的發展較有利

177
00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:47,758
但我喜歡分開我的課桌

178
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:51,179
這樣我比較好在各艙間自由移動

179
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,056
「我是小強納森

180
00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:57,518
我從來沒和別人眼神交流過

181
00:07:57,518 --> 00:08:01,689
所以現在大家都叫我鬥雞眼強納森
而且我還飯碗不保」

182
00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:05,610
好吧,我會視情況考慮
如果真的有必要的話

183
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:08,196
- 有必要,這是學區的強制規定
-「強制」?

184
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,072
而且草寫也不在課綱內了

185
00:08:16,245 --> 00:08:18,039
沒想到能遇見你啊

186
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,665
我正要拿作業簿進教室

187
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:22,460
對了,尼可拉文具行
有買十樣只要十美元的促銷

188
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:23,753
他媽的太讚了

189
00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:27,757
我在練習講粗話,還有點不適應
巴爾的摩好玩嗎?

190
00:08:28,257 --> 00:08:29,467
還不錯,很好

191
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:33,054
我和我爸做了很酷的事
幫巴爾的摩金鶯隊工作

192
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:37,475
我在本壘板旁鋪了肯德基藍草,超平坦的

193
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:40,144
妳暑假都在幹嘛?

194
00:08:40,144 --> 00:08:43,314
我花了大把時間獨處,我覺得很有幫助

195
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:47,193
我變得沉穩、專注,感覺很好

196
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,654
然後我和雅各、愛瑞卡開始一起吃早午餐

197
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:51,531
我們自稱「早午餐三人行組合」

198
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,782
「早午餐三人組」不是更好?

199
00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:54,408
該死,你說得對

200
00:08:55,409 --> 00:08:57,578
- 我不太會講粗話吧?
- 有很大的進步空間

201
00:08:57,578 --> 00:08:59,830
年度最佳教師,葛瑞格艾迪

202
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:02,917
我聽說過你在校園前蓋的花園,你太酷了

203
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:06,170
謝了,我很樂在其中
而且還能美化校園和街道

204
00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:07,255
你說得對

205
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,882
蒂格老師,能私下和妳說幾句話嗎?

206
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,008
抱歉打岔

207
00:09:11,008 --> 00:09:13,761
不,沒事,當然可以,叫我珍妮就好

208
00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:15,304
- 好,珍妮
- 對

209
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:18,516
我和學區的其他人討論過

210
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,601
妳感覺有滿肚子超棒的點子

211
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:23,980
學區有個計畫叫羅伯森獎助金

212
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:26,524
我們想找一位有實地經驗的老師

213
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:29,944
來協助學區更有效地提升執行效率

214
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:31,612
聽起來是很棒的機會

215
00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:33,197
好,我再幫你留意合適人選

216
00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:35,866
不,妳就是我心中的人選

217
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,494
你太抬舉我了

218
00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:43,207
但我只有暑假才能稍稍喘口氣

219
00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:44,542
這是學年期間的工作

220
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,544
- 但我學年期間得教書
- 是

221
00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:48,212
妳參與這個計畫的期間

222
00:09:48,212 --> 00:09:50,673
我們會幫妳找代課老師

223
00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:52,800
抱歉,但沒辦法

224
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,344
我實在是不忍心離開我的學生

225
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:58,681
抱歉,我真的受寵若驚,但不行,謝謝你

226
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:00,725
- 好吧
- 好

227
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:05,605
請妳再想一想,好嗎?

228
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,983
妳可以幫我們做真正的改變
塗鴉牆只是開端

229
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:12,945
他媽的

230
00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:15,781
好不自然

231
00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:18,743
這個...這玩意

232
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,291
珍妮,快來看我要給學生看的影片

233
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:28,085
凡夫俗子做的朝鮮戰爭口述詩

234
00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:30,046
那不是口述詩,是饒舌無伴奏合唱

235
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,172
還不是一樣?

236
00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:33,674
你覺得新來的學區代表怎麼樣?

237
00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:35,051
我很喜歡他們

238
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:38,137
我看到妳和那個小帥哥曼尼在聊天

239
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:39,221
他想幹嘛?

240
00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:41,641
他雖然不是葛瑞格,我的王,我的朋友

241
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,100
不,不,不是那樣

242
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:45,394
他只是在問我想不想在學區

243
00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:48,147
工作一段時間,有個獎助金的計畫

244
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:52,526
天哪,羅伯森獎助金嗎?
那可是難得一見的好機會,珍妮

245
00:10:52,526 --> 00:10:54,612
他們問妳,為什麼沒來問我?

246
00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:57,698
曼尼肯定是感應到我對葛瑞格的忠誠度

247
00:10:57,698 --> 00:10:59,909
- 雅各
- 妳得把握機會,珍妮

248
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,410
妳可以有所作為

249
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:04,246
我無法離開我的教室這麼久

250
00:11:04,246 --> 00:11:05,998
我光想就要哭了

251
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,668
妳現在真的在哭

252
00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:13,547
雅各,那影片是盜版的,不許在校內播放

253
00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:15,257
- 什麼,為什麼?
- 那不在課綱內

254
00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:17,426
但教科書太舊了,艾娃

255
00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:20,388
根據課本,我們甚至還沒從伊拉克撤軍

256
00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:22,306
我位於哈佛合法境內時

257
00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:25,976
首先學到的幾件事

258
00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:28,354
就是為了學生及學校的安全

259
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,690
教師必須嚴守課綱

260
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:34,568
慢著,那是我的私人電腦,妳不能拿走

261
00:11:35,152 --> 00:11:36,153
拿走囉

262
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,865
歡迎返校,開學第一天

263
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:43,285
好,排好隊,孩子們,單列隊伍

264
00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:45,621
衣服紮好,不要講話

265
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:48,541
小子,算你幸運

266
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,167
如果是去年的艾娃,你絕對會被吐槽死

267
00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:52,628
活像亞當山德勒參加臨時比賽

268
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,714
或亞當山德勒參加婚禮

269
00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:57,091
也像亞當山德勒出席奧斯卡獎

270
00:11:58,134 --> 00:11:59,218
趕快進教室

271
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:02,888
早安,歡迎,歡迎

272
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:05,516
歡迎大家,很好

273
00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:10,396
嗨,你想坐這裡嗎?

274
00:12:11,021 --> 00:12:13,065
我不會咬人,我是蒂格老師,你呢?

275
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,276
- 艾力克斯
- 艾力克斯,很高興認識你

276
00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:21,282
好,歡迎各位來到二年級,你們做到了

277
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:23,033
跟你們說一件很酷的事

278
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:25,494
你們是第一批使用全新iPad的學生

279
00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:26,871
這些是舊的

280
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:28,622
對學校來說是新的

281
00:12:28,622 --> 00:12:32,418
因為艾培小學走在先進科技的最尖端

282
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,003
我的iPad沒電了

283
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,838
- 我們的也是!
- 我們的也是

284
00:12:37,381 --> 00:12:39,175
好,好吧,沒關係

285
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,510
不然你們和他們共用好不好?

286
00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:43,387
這台只剩7%電量

287
00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:48,350
好吧,那...我們邊上課邊充電

288
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:49,435
好

289
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:52,354
但我們只有兩個充電器

290
00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:55,107
{\an8}(《Y2K的真相》)

291
00:12:55,107 --> 00:12:57,735
{\an8}妳有看見蓋瑞在販賣機
放了櫻桃口味戒指糖嗎?

292
00:12:57,735 --> 00:12:58,736
(切工可以嗎?)

293
00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:01,864
- 老天,他很誇張
- 小妞,他一直在暗示妳

294
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:03,157
他只是在開玩笑

295
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,826
妳也知道男人整天愛開那種玩笑

296
00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:06,911
我可不這麼認為

297
00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:10,206
他還請教女友的朋友,女友的婚戒尺寸

298
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,374
我不知道哪個男人會開這種玩笑

299
00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:15,211
他可能只是想送我超級盃戒指之類的

300
00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:20,007
好,艾娃居然限制我整理花園的時間

301
00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:22,134
她在我的金桔樹上裝了鎖

302
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:25,888
她要我重新排列我的教室課桌

303
00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:29,850
破壞我幾十年來良好的教育風水

304
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,560
{\an8}她還叫我換拖把水

305
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,771
{\an8}但拖把水跟酸種麵包一樣

306
00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:35,231
{\an8}放越久越好

307
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:36,774
好,大家放輕鬆

308
00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:39,485
艾娃終於有了校長應有的樣子

309
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:43,864
所以我們該給她一個機會
如同今天午餐我們該給這個新的全麥豆腐

310
00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:45,950
一個機會一樣,因為是我選的

311
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:48,077
準備好「抗氧化」了嗎?

312
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:51,497
好消息,各位,以後沒休息時間了

313
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:56,085
之後大家要自願午餐值班、走廊糾察

314
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,504
圖書館管理等等,一刻不准懈怠

315
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,133
至少我們還能享受午餐

316
00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:06,512
也不准再去校外吃午餐,那違反規定

317
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:10,140
有人得阻止她

318
00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:17,898
對,圖書館和圖書館員的比例很傷腦筋
但我們一定能找到辦法

319
00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:19,733
聽著,講到這個

320
00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:22,820
你能幫我們班搞到一台冰炫風機嗎?

321
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:27,116
因為冰炫風機和教室的比例也很傷腦筋

322
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,492
那個沒辦法

323
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:29,994
老樣子

324
00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:31,829
(一視同仁)

325
00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:33,747
曼尼?

326
00:14:33,747 --> 00:14:37,877
你之前提到需要點子,我剛好有一個

327
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,379
- 是
- 你們提供的iPad很棒

328
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:44,049
但如果能提供更多充電器就更棒了

329
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:47,845
例如三四個,或七個

330
00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:49,471
- 或八個
- 你說的,我可沒說喔

331
00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:50,890
對,大夥兒

332
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:53,976
我們要確保每間教室都有足夠的充電器

333
00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:55,060
- 好
- 好

334
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:57,897
對,我只是突然想到

335
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,357
LeapFrog學習平板也許會更好

336
00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:03,569
對,他們專為學生設計,成本效益也更高

337
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,988
沒錯,而且他們的線幾百年沒換了

338
00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:08,657
看吧?所以我才說妳是獎助金的不二人選

339
00:15:08,657 --> 00:15:10,826
我知道妳不想離開你們班

340
00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:12,411
如果我跟妳說

341
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:15,581
妳每週可以回艾培一兩次,這樣可以嗎?

342
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:17,166
- 真的嗎?
- 對

343
00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:20,085
這個獎助金的目的
也希望妳就近在實驗學校

344
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:23,213
執行新點子,以便觀察師生的接受度

345
00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:25,257
聽起來不錯

346
00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:29,595
我不想聽起來很貪財,但會加薪嗎?

347
00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:31,513
- 兩美元
- 兩美元?

348
00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:33,098
根本像一百萬美元!

349
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:37,269
我們可不隨便提供這個機會,懂嗎?

350
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:39,271
妳很有這方面的天賦

351
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:42,399
對,要是她拒絕,你就得再找人,對吧?

352
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:47,112
如果你們追求的是多元性,我是酷兒

353
00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:48,614
並不是這樣

354
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:50,366
我至少是開心果吧?

355
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,746
嗨,一切都還好嗎?

356
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:56,997
很好,很好

357
00:15:56,997 --> 00:16:01,543
我只是要把課桌挪成你們要求的樣子

358
00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:02,711
要幫忙嗎?

359
00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:06,173
不,就一張課桌,我可沒時間遞出申請

360
00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:08,175
不,我可以幫妳抬課桌

361
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:11,929
傳奇教師霍爾老師

362
00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:16,433
我還沒機會與您打招呼,但久仰大名

363
00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:18,394
幸會

364
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,898
我們其實在制定一項計畫

365
00:16:22,898 --> 00:16:24,316
讓老師們於學年初

366
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:27,736
就能獲得協助,而非等到隔年一月

367
00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:30,572
謝謝,我不需要你在這大作文章

368
00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:32,741
謝謝你們的幫忙

369
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:40,833
妳不信任我們,對吧?

370
00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:42,960
要我說實話?

371
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,044
不信任

372
00:16:44,878 --> 00:16:47,798
你們這種人我見多了

373
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:50,801
堆滿笑臉,一副真的關心的樣子

374
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:52,219
霍爾老師,我明白

375
00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:54,138
我了解學區是什麼樣子

376
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:59,143
我知道我給人的印象
但我不知道我還能怎麼樣

377
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:01,061
我進學區工作

378
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:05,649
是因為我看見這裡需要改變
為了像我一樣的學生

379
00:17:05,649 --> 00:17:09,445
也為了像妳這樣的老師
以及像我母親的老師

380
00:17:11,321 --> 00:17:12,489
你母親也是老師?

381
00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:13,574
她曾是老師

382
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:15,242
在她退休以前

383
00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:19,204
整整20年來,我每年都在聽她抱怨學區

384
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:22,583
我只想讓她的工作別那麼辛苦

385
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,711
所以,我雖然無法讓妳信任我

386
00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:29,965
但我仍會努力讓教職工作容易一點

387
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:31,759
我和我的團隊都是

388
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:41,935
很高興認識妳,霍爾老師

389
00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:46,440
- 這可以避免...
- 各回崗位,懶鬼們

390
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:51,278
對,就是你們
米勒老師、夏滿蒂老師和馬尾男

391
00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:52,362
對,沒錯

392
00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:54,239
我在校內裝滿攝影機

393
00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:58,160
就是要確保大家有志一同
讓艾培成為閃亮之星

394
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,829
我們制定一個對付艾娃的計畫

395
00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:02,206
我們得將她重新設定

396
00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:04,291
我們找遍重設按鈕,但找不到

397
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:07,586
所以我們決定拿她喜歡的東西引誘她

398
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:10,672
第一招是金錢
我們派雅各,他看起來很容易受騙

399
00:18:10,672 --> 00:18:13,258
第二招是翹班

400
00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:15,427
拿亞瑟小子的表演當誘餌

401
00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:20,099
目前為止沒一招奏效
所以我們要使出殺手鐧

402
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,183
準備好了嗎?

403
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:23,644
- 不要
- 拜託你

404
00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:26,730
大家再也無法忍受這個全新「艾娃」了

405
00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:30,526
很不幸的是,你是最有力的工具

406
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,194
工具?妳這是在物化我

407
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:33,487
物品不會說話

408
00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:37,074
老兄,好哥哥
你想繼續活在這種新政權之下嗎?

409
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:40,994
- 不想
- 那你知道我們別無他法

410
00:18:40,994 --> 00:18:43,664
- 脫掉,快把毛衣給脫了
- 確定別無他法?

411
00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:46,750
快點,捲起袖子
邀請她欣賞你秀色可餐的肉體

412
00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:48,377
倚靠門框

413
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:49,711
- 你知道該怎麼做
- 對

414
00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:59,763
- 有什麼問題嗎?
- 這很難說

415
00:19:01,014 --> 00:19:06,520
這些規定都太強硬、太緊繃了

416
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:11,692
現在有個規定

417
00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:14,403
放下手臂,黑人版傑瑞米艾倫懷特

418
00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:16,113
這裡是學校

419
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:20,993
拜託

420
00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:24,872
好,聽著,我們要以前的艾娃

421
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:27,332
她死了,已成過去式

422
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:29,626
我現在是領導人,我會溝通

423
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:31,670
我好幾個月沒聽城市女孩了

424
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:34,131
這就是現在的我

425
00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:37,718
好吧,我想只能認命了

426
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:39,803
畢竟連葛瑞格的臂肌都派不上用場

427
00:19:39,803 --> 00:19:40,888
那可不一定

428
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:46,310
我們還有一招,但必須低調一點

429
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:50,314
對,要越低越好

430
00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:56,528
芭芭拉

431
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,739
妳移動課桌了

432
00:19:58,739 --> 00:19:59,948
這是強制要求

433
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:01,950
那些學區新來的人

434
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:05,829
他們笑臉迎人,滿口讚美
但實際上是爛人,對吧?

435
00:20:05,829 --> 00:20:08,207
我不敢相信自己有這種想法

436
00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:11,460
但我對這群新人懷有一絲希望

437
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,212
我覺得他們能有所作為

438
00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:16,381
什麼...妳認真的?

439
00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:18,383
我原本還期待芭芭拉式的潑冷水

440
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,010
妳期待我會說什麼?

441
00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:22,471
妳會說那些全是廢話,那些人沒用

442
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:23,555
我不該抱有希望

443
00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:26,391
我從沒說過那種話

444
00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:27,768
而且我對他們改觀了

445
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:29,228
我覺得這群新人...

446
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:32,105
他們不太一樣,態度很真誠

447
00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:34,942
- 怎麼了?
- 他們給我獎助金的工作機會

448
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:37,986
請我去學區幫他們工作

449
00:20:37,986 --> 00:20:41,448
為全費城的學校發想和執行點子

450
00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:43,242
可是我婉拒了

451
00:20:43,825 --> 00:20:45,619
但妳看起來不太滿意這個決定

452
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:50,374
我已經在這任教三年,我好不容易認清

453
00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:53,126
有些現狀就是無法改變

454
00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:55,504
好好教學,做個好老師就好

455
00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:57,839
反正別做白日夢

456
00:20:57,839 --> 00:21:02,719
夢想家是唯一能改變現實的人

457
00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:05,514
妳真的很想要這個機會嗎?

458
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,099
或許吧

459
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:10,811
親愛的,專案結束後,艾培依然是妳的家

460
00:21:12,562 --> 00:21:16,608
現在請容我失陪。我要去拯救學校了

461
00:21:19,027 --> 00:21:20,112
什麼意思?

462
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:22,572
{\an8}(羅納德海菲茲)
(《調適性領導力》)

463
00:21:22,572 --> 00:21:24,658
{\an8}艾娃,快去體育館

464
00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:27,703
有一群老師在吵說普林斯頓比哈佛好

465
00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:29,204
老天,別鬧了

466
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:33,458
好,我們有兩分鐘

467
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:35,836
能請妳說明這個天才計畫的下一步嗎?

468
00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:37,087
艾娃說她已經不聽

469
00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:38,463
- 小鎮姑娘...
- 城市女孩

470
00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:42,175
但我知道有一首歌,她絕對無法抗拒

471
00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:44,469
- 雅各,快拿出隨身聽
- 手機

472
00:21:44,469 --> 00:21:45,929
- 打開Napster
- Spotify

473
00:21:45,929 --> 00:21:48,098
老天,快關上耳朵

474
00:21:48,098 --> 00:21:49,182
來吧

475
00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:54,062
普林斯頓是常春藤聯盟的天普大學

476
00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:56,189
就是現在,強森先生

477
00:21:56,189 --> 00:21:57,441
解放妳的屁股吧

478
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:00,485
怎麼搞的?

479
00:22:01,945 --> 00:22:03,822
不,不

480
00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:06,366
現在不行,幼齒少年家

481
00:22:10,912 --> 00:22:11,997
不

482
00:22:29,056 --> 00:22:31,224
- 好耶!
- 太棒了!

483
00:22:31,224 --> 00:22:32,517
我回來了,各位!

484
00:22:32,517 --> 00:22:35,020
艾娃,我們又有休息時間了嗎?

485
00:22:35,604 --> 00:22:36,855
你們想怎樣就怎樣

486
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:39,524
強森先生,給我環形燈!

487
00:22:39,524 --> 00:22:42,152
我要在IG直播一整天

488
00:22:42,652 --> 00:22:43,945
太棒了!

489
00:22:43,945 --> 00:22:45,822
加油,艾娃,加油...

490
00:22:45,822 --> 00:22:49,284
想不到變成好校長的艾娃

491
00:22:49,284 --> 00:22:50,911
居然比她當爛校長還可怕

492
00:22:50,911 --> 00:22:54,206
可惜妳不在,珍妮
我們用盡各種手段喚回過去的艾娃

493
00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:56,208
葛瑞格還大秀肌肉耶

494
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:58,126
- 你大秀肌肉?
- 對

495
00:22:59,544 --> 00:23:02,506
你們試過《Back That Azz Up》嗎?
因為那首歌...

496
00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:04,383
妳怎麼知道那招有用?

497
00:23:04,966 --> 00:23:07,052
妳真不愧是學區的料

498
00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:08,553
別說了

499
00:23:10,972 --> 00:23:14,309
曼尼問我要不要接受獎助金去學區工作

500
00:23:14,309 --> 00:23:16,019
我大概八成會去

501
00:23:16,019 --> 00:23:17,354
那妳要離開艾培囉?

502
00:23:17,354 --> 00:23:18,855
對,但只是暫時的

503
00:23:18,855 --> 00:23:21,775
我很替妳高興,同時感到羨慕又難過

504
00:23:21,775 --> 00:23:23,944
好多情緒,我需要來幾杯烈酒

505
00:23:23,944 --> 00:23:26,780
能幫我看看起司薯條好了沒嗎?

506
00:23:26,780 --> 00:23:29,116
恭喜妳

507
00:23:30,158 --> 00:23:32,953
但我還沒下定決心,所以還沒確定

508
00:23:32,953 --> 00:23:34,538
妳根本是不二人選

509
00:23:38,625 --> 00:23:40,293
- 怎樣?
- 怎樣?

510
00:23:40,293 --> 00:23:41,795
怎樣?你...

511
00:23:42,295 --> 00:23:44,214
不,真的很棒,我說真的

512
00:23:44,214 --> 00:23:46,383
只不過...少了妳的艾培,感覺怪怪的

513
00:23:46,383 --> 00:23:47,467
是啊

514
00:23:47,467 --> 00:23:50,512
這是很難得的機會,但我說不上來

515
00:23:50,512 --> 00:23:52,389
一想到艾培,就會想到妳

516
00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:54,641
一想到妳,我也會想到艾培

517
00:23:57,894 --> 00:23:59,729
對,沒錯,我懂

518
00:24:00,397 --> 00:24:02,232
我也會很想念我的學生

519
00:24:02,732 --> 00:24:06,111
會想念我的教室

520
00:24:06,987 --> 00:24:08,989
會想念我們敲牆壁的聊天暗號

521
00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:13,452
那個我也會很想念

522
00:24:18,331 --> 00:24:19,541
妳真的要離開我們?

523
00:24:25,922 --> 00:24:28,675
(現今)

524
00:24:29,176 --> 00:24:30,719
(職業日!)

525
00:24:32,179 --> 00:24:33,805
職業日快樂,艾娃

526
00:24:34,931 --> 00:24:36,892
根本沒有所謂快樂的職業

527
00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:38,393
工作就是向生活低頭

528
00:24:39,519 --> 00:24:40,687
很高興她恢復正常了

529
00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:51,823
不...不,你們沒錯過什麼

530
00:24:51,823 --> 00:24:53,408
我和葛瑞格沒有怎樣

531
00:24:53,408 --> 00:24:56,328
我決定去學區工作,然後葛瑞格

532
00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:57,704
和我之間很正常

533
00:24:57,704 --> 00:24:58,955
我和珍妮?

534
00:24:58,955 --> 00:25:00,457
對,我們很好

535
00:25:00,457 --> 00:25:03,793
沒有...沒發生什麼事

536
00:25:03,793 --> 00:25:06,630
我的天,葛瑞格和珍妮之間有鬼

537
00:25:06,630 --> 00:25:07,714
他們沒說?

538
00:25:07,714 --> 00:25:10,467
算你們好運,我的隱藏攝影機全都錄到了

539
00:25:10,467 --> 00:25:11,843
你們會樂死

540
00:25:14,846 --> 00:25:16,765
前幾天聚會真好玩,是吧?

541
00:25:16,765 --> 00:25:18,934
- 對啊,我很喜歡那個地方
- 我也是

542
00:25:19,643 --> 00:25:22,312
攝影劇組應該平安無事吧?

543
00:25:22,312 --> 00:25:23,980
我們有警告他們那裡滿亂的

544
00:25:23,980 --> 00:25:25,190
對,他們沒事啦

545
00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:26,733
應該只是生病之類的

546
00:25:26,733 --> 00:25:29,152
哪那麼剛好全員被搶?那也太...

547
00:25:33,156 --> 00:25:36,493
我在想我們去年到博物館校外教學的事

548
00:25:36,493 --> 00:25:38,078
是

549
00:25:38,078 --> 00:25:43,208
尤其是你說你對我有感覺的那件事

550
00:25:44,459 --> 00:25:46,461
我覺得我也對你有感覺

551
00:25:47,337 --> 00:25:51,591
而且我對你還是很有感覺

552
00:25:51,591 --> 00:25:53,218
我那天在酒吧發現的

553
00:25:53,718 --> 00:25:54,719
是喔?

554
00:25:54,719 --> 00:25:57,514
我不知道,我在想有沒有可能...

555
00:25:58,014 --> 00:26:03,603
我們要不要嘗試探索那份感覺...不知道

556
00:26:10,443 --> 00:26:12,362
- 太措手不及了
- 我知道

557
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:14,322
我也覺得

558
00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:22,455
說實話,珍妮,那件事已經被我放下了

559
00:26:26,084 --> 00:26:27,085
出於尊重

560
00:26:27,085 --> 00:26:28,420
- 好
- 妳明白嗎?感覺...

561
00:26:30,171 --> 00:26:32,924
我已經調整心態向前走了,因為感覺...

562
00:26:33,967 --> 00:26:35,802
那樣做比較好

563
00:26:35,802 --> 00:26:39,139
是,我只是想讓你知道,我們還有機會

564
00:26:40,223 --> 00:26:41,224
好,對,不是

565
00:26:41,224 --> 00:26:45,353
我的意思是,就算妳現在改變心意

566
00:26:45,353 --> 00:26:48,106
我還是覺得現在這樣

567
00:26:48,607 --> 00:26:53,486
維持朋友的關係,對我們來說比較保險

568
00:26:54,571 --> 00:26:56,156
- 對,當然
- 妳明白吧?

569
00:26:56,156 --> 00:26:58,033
- 因為我真的很珍惜我們的關係
- 我也是

570
00:26:58,033 --> 00:26:59,618
- 我不希望我們的關係受影響...
- 是

571
00:26:59,618 --> 00:27:01,995
- 妳懂我意思吧?
- 我懂,真的,我明白

572
00:27:01,995 --> 00:27:04,914
- 好
- 保險一點比較好,保險為上

573
00:27:04,914 --> 00:27:06,499
- 對
- 對,好的

574
00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:11,504
快看珍妮的臉

575
00:27:13,715 --> 00:27:14,883
她很火大

576
00:27:15,967 --> 00:27:17,844
各位早安,我們非常期待

577
00:27:17,844 --> 00:27:20,430
今天的職業日並不是要介紹媽媽的職業

578
00:27:20,430 --> 00:27:21,514
- 並不是
- 沒錯

579
00:27:21,514 --> 00:27:24,601
雖然我們很確定
各位的媽媽都有很精彩的職涯

580
00:27:24,601 --> 00:27:26,144
對,如果她們選擇工作的話

581
00:27:26,645 --> 00:27:30,732
這項獎助金的主要目標是在全區

582
00:27:30,732 --> 00:27:32,192
試行及提倡新計畫

583
00:27:32,192 --> 00:27:34,110
所以我過去花了四個月的時間

584
00:27:34,110 --> 00:27:37,739
確保職業日對這座偉大城市裡的學生

585
00:27:37,739 --> 00:27:41,201
教職員和專業人士
都會是新鮮又具影響力的體驗

586
00:27:41,201 --> 00:27:42,285
- 全費城
- 很重要

587
00:27:42,285 --> 00:27:43,370
對

588
00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:45,413
我們會建立關係、築起夢想...

589
00:27:45,413 --> 00:27:47,207
並且讓珍妮閉嘴

590
00:27:47,207 --> 00:27:48,291
好的

591
00:27:48,792 --> 00:27:52,671
墨菲老師,你們班分配到麻醉師

592
00:27:52,671 --> 00:27:55,382
霍爾老師的班是有證照的美容師

593
00:27:55,965 --> 00:27:59,469
太好了,美容師現在很賺錢

594
00:27:59,469 --> 00:28:01,304
我們班是動物學家

595
00:28:01,304 --> 00:28:03,765
抱歉,我是指代課老師李老師的班

596
00:28:03,765 --> 00:28:05,266
我不喜歡動物

597
00:28:05,767 --> 00:28:09,312
但學生們會喜歡,所以...

598
00:28:09,312 --> 00:28:11,523
夏滿蒂老師的班是行銷專家...

599
00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:14,150
- 爛死了
- 費城老鷹隊的行銷專家

600
00:28:14,150 --> 00:28:16,861
好讚,太正點了!

601
00:28:16,861 --> 00:28:19,280
那我呢?拜託讓我分到他,拜託

602
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:22,242
是,雅各,我們應你的要求
指派強森先生給你

603
00:28:22,242 --> 00:28:25,537
太棒了,他簡直是各行各業的萬事通

604
00:28:25,537 --> 00:28:27,872
在現今的零工經濟非常實用

605
00:28:27,872 --> 00:28:30,083
精彩故事說不完喔

606
00:28:32,419 --> 00:28:37,048
至於艾迪老師
你們班是一位長木花園的植物學家

607
00:28:37,048 --> 00:28:39,050
酷,謝謝妳,蒂格老師

608
00:28:39,634 --> 00:28:41,428
酷,好

609
00:28:41,428 --> 00:28:42,721
蓋瑞

610
00:28:42,721 --> 00:28:45,014
我以為你今天補過販賣機了

611
00:28:45,014 --> 00:28:46,725
{\an8}我來可不單單為了高納食品

612
00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:47,726
{\an8}(販賣機供應商)

613
00:28:47,726 --> 00:28:49,561
對,他應邀參加職業日

614
00:28:49,561 --> 00:28:51,980
這傢伙有退休帳戶

615
00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:54,858
雖然裡面都是硬幣,但終究是錢嘛

616
00:28:54,858 --> 00:28:55,942
沒錯

617
00:28:55,942 --> 00:28:57,861
我很期待職業日

618
00:28:57,861 --> 00:29:01,823
希望那位美容師能幫我做指甲

619
00:29:02,449 --> 00:29:04,200
說不定她也能幫妳做指甲

620
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:07,162
畢竟妳不知道何時需要拍婚戒照片

621
00:29:07,787 --> 00:29:09,789
- 為何?
- 開個玩笑啦

622
00:29:09,789 --> 00:29:11,082
- 開開玩笑
- 好吧

623
00:29:11,082 --> 00:29:12,625
好,沒事,我知道

624
00:29:12,625 --> 00:29:14,711
因為你老愛開這種小玩笑

625
00:29:14,711 --> 00:29:16,171
- 對
- 但...好

626
00:29:16,171 --> 00:29:18,131
我只想確認我們有共識

627
00:29:18,131 --> 00:29:21,259
因為蓋瑞,你知道我不想再結婚吧?

628
00:29:21,259 --> 00:29:23,219
我結過婚,我不想再婚

629
00:29:23,219 --> 00:29:25,138
- 對,我知道
- 好,很好

630
00:29:25,138 --> 00:29:27,474
我只是想把話說清楚,懂嗎?

631
00:29:27,474 --> 00:29:30,560
除非有奇蹟發生
否則我不可能再步入婚姻

632
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:32,437
- 好,明白
- 對,沒事

633
00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:34,481
除非是天大的奇蹟

634
00:29:34,981 --> 00:29:37,066
謝謝各位今天來一趟

635
00:29:37,066 --> 00:29:38,318
了解不同職業的可能性

636
00:29:38,318 --> 00:29:40,779
對孩子們的意義非凡

637
00:29:41,362 --> 00:29:43,490
- 千金難買的機會
- 你們沒付一毛錢

638
00:29:43,490 --> 00:29:45,867
我敢保證這是無價的經驗

639
00:29:47,035 --> 00:29:48,536
不敢相信這天終於來了

640
00:29:48,536 --> 00:29:50,497
為了這一天,我們籌備了好幾週

641
00:29:50,497 --> 00:29:51,581
{\an8}我絕不能搞砸

642
00:29:52,373 --> 00:29:54,876
{\an8}要是搞砸,學區就不會再參考我的點子了

643
00:29:54,876 --> 00:29:55,794
{\an8}沒錯

644
00:29:55,794 --> 00:29:57,670
{\an8}對,我上次搞砸引介電子校車的案子

645
00:29:57,670 --> 00:29:59,464
{\an8}此後我被禁止在會議中發言

646
00:29:59,464 --> 00:30:00,882
{\an8}今天一定會很棒

647
00:30:01,424 --> 00:30:02,509
好,這是你的班

648
00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:05,637
妳好

649
00:30:06,262 --> 00:30:07,263
{\an8}好的

650
00:30:08,848 --> 00:30:12,519
{\an8}難度越來越高了,因為他們超愛我

651
00:30:13,144 --> 00:30:14,229
同學們

652
00:30:18,608 --> 00:30:19,901
他們吃午餐後都不太有精神

653
00:30:19,901 --> 00:30:21,444
- 現在才八點半
- 是嗎?

654
00:30:22,070 --> 00:30:23,071
{\an8}不是吧...

655
00:30:24,572 --> 00:30:25,782
我知道哪裡怪怪的了

656
00:30:25,782 --> 00:30:28,409
她把日期從白板上方移到下方

657
00:30:28,409 --> 00:30:30,203
很常見的錯誤,讓我來...

658
00:30:31,913 --> 00:30:33,039
妳這是在幹嘛?

659
00:30:33,039 --> 00:30:35,166
我要把日期從白板下方移回上方

660
00:30:35,166 --> 00:30:37,210
我喜歡把日期放在下方

661
00:30:37,210 --> 00:30:38,628
而且我喜歡吵架

662
00:30:39,379 --> 00:30:40,880
領域行為

663
00:30:41,464 --> 00:30:42,465
在野外很常見

664
00:30:42,465 --> 00:30:45,051
對,在動物的王國很常見

665
00:30:45,051 --> 00:30:46,803
來看看獵豹家族

666
00:30:46,803 --> 00:30:48,888
我沒帶獵豹家族來

667
00:30:48,888 --> 00:30:50,306
好,一隻獵豹也行

668
00:30:50,849 --> 00:30:52,600
我帶了假樹懶來

669
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:53,852
認真?你只帶這玩意來?

670
00:30:53,852 --> 00:30:56,479
所以我在額頭上畫一顆小棕櫚樹

671
00:30:56,479 --> 00:31:00,024
沿著鼻子直線畫下來,一直畫到嘴唇上面

672
00:31:00,024 --> 00:31:01,568
霍爾老師,妳感興趣的話

673
00:31:01,568 --> 00:31:04,112
可以在IG和抖音觀看我的教學影片

674
00:31:04,112 --> 00:31:07,782
不了,我現在的妝已經化超過30年了

675
00:31:07,782 --> 00:31:08,908
妳的妝好看極了

676
00:31:08,908 --> 00:31:11,661
但如果再加點臉部打亮和輪廓打底

677
00:31:11,661 --> 00:31:12,954
妳的妝容會更出色

678
00:31:12,954 --> 00:31:14,372
說不定會很不錯

679
00:31:14,873 --> 00:31:17,166
當這兩種水果樹被放在一起...

680
00:31:17,166 --> 00:31:18,084
(異花受粉)

681
00:31:18,084 --> 00:31:20,378
- 彼此靠得很近,近到可以...
- 異花受粉

682
00:31:21,212 --> 00:31:23,798
抱歉,我只是想幫忙

683
00:31:23,798 --> 00:31:24,883
因為我這個暑假...

684
00:31:24,883 --> 00:31:27,051
- 去幫巴爾的摩金鶯隊工作
- 是

685
00:31:27,051 --> 00:31:28,928
你講過了,而且講了很多次

686
00:31:29,512 --> 00:31:31,764
你是那個被防水布卡住的人嗎?

687
00:31:35,018 --> 00:31:36,978
肯德基藍草很滑

688
00:31:37,854 --> 00:31:40,148
我的故事說到這,你們也許會好奇...

689
00:31:40,148 --> 00:31:41,065
(內閣)

690
00:31:41,065 --> 00:31:42,775
「你是如何當選州參議員的?」

691
00:31:42,775 --> 00:31:44,819
對,我的確很想問這問題

692
00:31:44,819 --> 00:31:45,904
答案非常簡單

693
00:31:45,904 --> 00:31:49,407
現任參議員恰巧在選舉前去世

694
00:31:50,158 --> 00:31:52,619
大家看到他的名字都會投給他

695
00:31:53,119 --> 00:31:56,831
就這麼巧,那位參議員也姓強森

696
00:31:56,831 --> 00:32:00,043
我加入選舉,其餘的便是歷史了

697
00:32:00,043 --> 00:32:03,338
總之,我做了三屆,然後冷戰獲勝

698
00:32:04,088 --> 00:32:05,340
(行銷)
(群發電子郵件、白金俱樂部)

699
00:32:05,340 --> 00:32:07,467
於是我來到這一步,建立超連結

700
00:32:07,467 --> 00:32:10,470
把這些內容放進電子郵件

701
00:32:10,470 --> 00:32:15,266
然後大量地發給白金會員

702
00:32:15,266 --> 00:32:16,726
接著是好玩的部分

703
00:32:16,726 --> 00:32:17,727
耐心等候

704
00:32:18,478 --> 00:32:20,605
他不像老鷹隊的人

705
00:32:20,605 --> 00:32:21,898
小聲點

706
00:32:21,898 --> 00:32:23,775
他想的話,能當棄踢員呢,繼續講

707
00:32:23,775 --> 00:32:25,693
謝謝,不,那個...沒關係的

708
00:32:25,693 --> 00:32:27,028
我習慣了

709
00:32:27,028 --> 00:32:31,449
所以我安排一位特別嘉賓和你們打聲招呼

710
00:32:31,449 --> 00:32:33,785
比起我,我猜你們會更喜歡他

711
00:32:33,785 --> 00:32:35,578
我們可以開始建個資料庫

712
00:32:35,578 --> 00:32:37,288
這樣全費城的學校

713
00:32:37,288 --> 00:32:38,706
就沒理由不辦職業日了

714
00:32:38,706 --> 00:32:39,958
要是志工數量不夠

715
00:32:39,958 --> 00:32:42,460
可以用抵學分的方式,找職業學校的學生

716
00:32:42,460 --> 00:32:44,003
太棒了

717
00:32:44,003 --> 00:32:47,048
為什麼找我來對個空教室講話?

718
00:32:47,048 --> 00:32:50,343
孩子跟老師都不見了
我的假樹懶是帶辛酸的嗎?

719
00:32:50,343 --> 00:32:52,178
- 什麼?
- 是啊

720
00:32:52,178 --> 00:32:54,430
- 同學們,不准奔跑!
- 大家都...

721
00:32:54,430 --> 00:32:55,932
不准奔跑,各位!

722
00:32:55,932 --> 00:32:57,266
艾娃,怎麼回事?

723
00:32:57,850 --> 00:33:00,520
全世界最棒的首發四分衛來了
各位,快點!

724
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:01,604
什麼?

725
00:33:02,313 --> 00:33:04,941
不好意思,不好意思,抱歉,抱歉

726
00:33:06,401 --> 00:33:07,694
我的天哪

727
00:33:08,486 --> 00:33:11,656
嘿,小妹妹
妳還為了職業日盛裝打扮啊

728
00:33:15,326 --> 00:33:16,536
真好笑,杰倫赫茨

729
00:33:18,830 --> 00:33:21,666
梅麗莎,杰倫赫茨
怎麼會出現在妳的螢幕上?

730
00:33:21,666 --> 00:33:23,584
因為老天爺有時很偏心,珍妮

731
00:33:23,584 --> 00:33:25,211
美國的全民寵兒來了

732
00:33:25,211 --> 00:33:27,755
多虧了剛剛那位穿帆船鞋的英雄

733
00:33:27,755 --> 00:33:29,257
這是天大的奇蹟!

734
00:33:30,550 --> 00:33:32,218
我們也能和杰倫講話嗎?

735
00:33:32,802 --> 00:33:36,055
不,孩子們,杰倫赫茨應該沒有時間

736
00:33:36,806 --> 00:33:38,266
職業日真無聊

737
00:33:38,266 --> 00:33:40,601
讓我們永遠不想工作了

738
00:33:40,601 --> 00:33:41,936
好,這太誇張了

739
00:33:42,687 --> 00:33:45,523
該死的老鷹隊行銷大哥
你多此一舉幹嘛?

740
00:33:45,523 --> 00:33:48,109
不能帶個什麼老鷹隊鉛筆就好了嗎?

741
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:53,489
杰倫,既然我們時間有限

742
00:33:53,489 --> 00:33:54,699
我在想

743
00:33:54,699 --> 00:33:56,034
你晚上都夢到什麼?

744
00:33:56,034 --> 00:33:59,328
我夢到我是水下王國亞特蘭提斯的王子

745
00:34:03,416 --> 00:34:07,712
我想請你幫我一個大忙

746
00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:10,214
我想到了,我想到了

747
00:34:10,715 --> 00:34:11,758
改變策略

748
00:34:11,758 --> 00:34:13,968
我們在每間教室設定視訊連結

749
00:34:13,968 --> 00:34:16,721
然後請學生和老師們回到教室

750
00:34:16,721 --> 00:34:18,431
再讓杰倫同時對大家講話

751
00:34:18,431 --> 00:34:21,059
而且有八個充飽電的iPad
所以應該沒問題

752
00:34:21,059 --> 00:34:22,643
這個策略太棒了

753
00:34:22,643 --> 00:34:23,811
準備開始

754
00:34:23,811 --> 00:34:25,855
- 學區人準備好了嗎?
- 當然

755
00:34:25,855 --> 00:34:28,024
- 好,一、二、三
- 二、三

756
00:34:28,024 --> 00:34:29,609
- 學區人!
- 書呆子!

757
00:34:31,194 --> 00:34:32,195
好

758
00:34:32,195 --> 00:34:34,822
向周圍的人學習卓越,並與他們同樂

759
00:34:34,822 --> 00:34:37,617
嘿,杰倫,我們剛剛打過照面

760
00:34:37,617 --> 00:34:38,826
我是學區來的珍妮蒂格

761
00:34:38,826 --> 00:34:41,913
我們想把你分享到每間教室
你能等我們十分鐘嗎?

762
00:34:41,913 --> 00:34:43,831
為了孩子們,再久我都願意等

763
00:34:43,831 --> 00:34:46,250
前提是十分鐘能完成,因為我要去訓練了

764
00:34:46,250 --> 00:34:48,294
謝謝,你的臉太帥了

765
00:34:48,294 --> 00:34:49,545
不好意思

766
00:34:49,545 --> 00:34:51,714
我的天,差點釀成大災難

767
00:34:51,714 --> 00:34:53,674
但我們找到解決方案

768
00:34:53,674 --> 00:34:57,637
沒有孩子或專業人士被排除在外
杰倫出現在每間教室裡

769
00:34:57,637 --> 00:34:58,721
整體來說很有效率

770
00:34:59,305 --> 00:35:01,432
就像小孩說的:「我做到了」

771
00:35:02,141 --> 00:35:03,226
我排除萬難了

772
00:35:03,226 --> 00:35:04,477
謝謝各位

773
00:35:04,477 --> 00:35:06,354
謝謝你們抽空出席

774
00:35:06,354 --> 00:35:09,107
足球生涯結束後,我也要展開新的工作

775
00:35:09,107 --> 00:35:12,110
所以我也希望聽其他專業人士分享經驗

776
00:35:12,693 --> 00:35:14,028
在我離開之前

777
00:35:14,028 --> 00:35:18,324
有個特別的人想求婚,因為...

778
00:35:19,992 --> 00:35:22,036
「這段愛情感覺就像首攻

779
00:35:22,036 --> 00:35:23,996
他想落在妳心中的端區

780
00:35:24,789 --> 00:35:27,291
讓我們一起朝未來達陣」

781
00:35:27,291 --> 00:35:29,377
杰倫赫茨是在向我求婚嗎?

782
00:35:29,877 --> 00:35:31,045
我不這麼認為

783
00:35:31,045 --> 00:35:33,047
(我們愛黑人歷史)

784
00:35:33,047 --> 00:35:34,674
妳說過要天大的奇蹟

785
00:35:34,674 --> 00:35:38,594
我能請到杰倫赫茨幫我求婚

786
00:35:38,594 --> 00:35:40,596
這還不算天大的奇蹟嗎?

787
00:35:40,596 --> 00:35:42,390
於是我使出萬福瑪麗亞長傳

788
00:35:43,099 --> 00:35:45,977
梅麗莎安凱薩琳夏滿蒂

789
00:35:47,687 --> 00:35:48,688
妳願意嫁給我嗎?

790
00:35:53,609 --> 00:35:54,569
不願意

791
00:35:57,238 --> 00:35:59,282
真該死,她們通常都會說願意

792
00:36:00,283 --> 00:36:03,077
寶貝,為什麼?

793
00:36:03,828 --> 00:36:06,455
老兄,練習要遲到了

794
00:36:06,455 --> 00:36:07,957
對,怎麼回事?

795
00:36:07,957 --> 00:36:10,793
他剛拜託我幫他向她求婚,但她拒絕了

796
00:36:10,793 --> 00:36:12,003
又一個求婚?

797
00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:14,255
杰倫,你別再答應這種事了

798
00:36:14,881 --> 00:36:15,923
要劃清界線

799
00:36:15,923 --> 00:36:18,009
你們也知道我不太會劃清界線

800
00:36:18,009 --> 00:36:19,635
我以為我們在一起很開心

801
00:36:19,635 --> 00:36:20,678
是很開心沒錯

802
00:36:20,678 --> 00:36:22,388
真的,沒錯

803
00:36:22,388 --> 00:36:25,725
但我只是...蓋瑞,我不想再結婚了

804
00:36:26,350 --> 00:36:29,270
我也跟你說過很多次

805
00:36:29,270 --> 00:36:30,897
我知道...我...

806
00:36:30,897 --> 00:36:34,025
我只是想如果完美的時機來臨

807
00:36:34,025 --> 00:36:37,153
然後杰倫居然就這樣出現...

808
00:36:37,153 --> 00:36:39,197
- 我的天
- 在你們班上,我...

809
00:36:39,197 --> 00:36:41,532
兩位,你們要不要去外面談?

810
00:36:41,532 --> 00:36:43,784
因為大家都在看,你們應該不想要

811
00:36:43,784 --> 00:36:47,538
對,好,同學們,夏滿蒂老師去外面一下

812
00:36:47,538 --> 00:36:49,123
各位,麻煩幫我看著他們

813
00:36:49,916 --> 00:36:51,292
你們不必這麼做

814
00:36:51,292 --> 00:36:54,003
頭低低,拇指高高,大伙來玩猜猜樂

815
00:36:54,003 --> 00:36:57,131
他們很聽你的話,你有考慮來當老師嗎?

816
00:36:58,591 --> 00:37:00,885
你們缺人嗎?我主要在週日工作

817
00:37:03,137 --> 00:37:04,138
你很好笑

818
00:37:11,229 --> 00:37:12,188
現在怎麼辦?

819
00:37:12,188 --> 00:37:13,940
你真的想結婚?

820
00:37:13,940 --> 00:37:15,733
我真的很想結婚

821
00:37:15,733 --> 00:37:17,026
你絕對值得步入婚姻

822
00:37:18,361 --> 00:37:20,404
但蓋瑞,我真的不想再婚了

823
00:37:20,404 --> 00:37:22,615
- 我...
- 你不需要說服我

824
00:37:22,615 --> 00:37:23,783
這是我的原則

825
00:37:24,951 --> 00:37:27,620
也許我們兩個人

826
00:37:29,705 --> 00:37:30,998
不是彼此最好的歸宿

827
00:37:32,291 --> 00:37:33,292
所以...

828
00:37:35,044 --> 00:37:36,420
我們要分手?

829
00:37:38,547 --> 00:37:40,174
我不願這麼說,但別無選擇

830
00:37:47,431 --> 00:37:48,432
我很好

831
00:37:49,016 --> 00:37:50,101
我會沒事的

832
00:37:53,104 --> 00:37:54,855
雖然我感覺像個失敗的球員

833
00:37:55,439 --> 00:37:56,857
親愛的,你沒有失敗

834
00:37:58,609 --> 00:38:00,069
你是費城的MVP

835
00:38:16,335 --> 00:38:18,629
那個禿頭佬下跪,對吧?

836
00:38:18,629 --> 00:38:20,756
然後夏滿蒂老師說:「別鬧了」

837
00:38:22,216 --> 00:38:23,759
她回來了,她回來了,快坐好

838
00:38:24,468 --> 00:38:27,513
我們想說,妳很酷,選擇相信自己的直覺

839
00:38:27,513 --> 00:38:29,724
妳很無情,但很有膽量

840
00:38:29,724 --> 00:38:31,767
我們的管理階層全為女性,身為男性隊員

841
00:38:31,767 --> 00:38:35,479
我支持女性有權捍衛自己想或不想的意願

842
00:38:37,356 --> 00:38:38,941
你們快去練習吧

843
00:38:39,483 --> 00:38:41,569
- 我們走囉
- 再見,杰倫赫茨

844
00:38:42,153 --> 00:38:44,196
情況原本有可能更糟,對吧?

845
00:38:44,947 --> 00:38:48,200
現在我們知道,要事先訂一些規則

846
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:49,577
不准邀足球隊隊員

847
00:38:49,577 --> 00:38:51,704
保險起見,跟足球有關的都別邀

848
00:38:51,704 --> 00:38:52,705
不准求婚

849
00:38:52,705 --> 00:38:54,040
妳在這幹嘛?

850
00:38:55,624 --> 00:38:57,585
艾娃沒給我辦公空間

851
00:38:57,585 --> 00:38:59,045
但這裡是我的拖把空間

852
00:38:59,045 --> 00:39:01,047
而且我們即將舉辦重要會議

853
00:39:02,715 --> 00:39:03,716
對,那太...

854
00:39:03,716 --> 00:39:06,427
各位,我真的很抱歉

855
00:39:06,427 --> 00:39:07,845
抱歉什麼?

856
00:39:07,845 --> 00:39:10,139
剛剛好混亂,毫無效率可言

857
00:39:10,139 --> 00:39:12,975
我知道學區最注重執行效率,所以...

858
00:39:12,975 --> 00:39:14,060
杰倫赫茨露面耶

859
00:39:14,060 --> 00:39:15,186
- 老鷹隊上啊
- 對啊

860
00:39:15,186 --> 00:39:16,771
這活動光是這點就成功了

861
00:39:16,771 --> 00:39:18,230
孩子們都愛死了

862
00:39:18,230 --> 00:39:20,483
沒出狀況時,人人都能完美作業

863
00:39:20,483 --> 00:39:23,027
但妳懂得如何臨機應變

864
00:39:23,027 --> 00:39:25,654
我很常看《天外飛來一句》

865
00:39:25,654 --> 00:39:27,323
幾乎每次都是韋恩佈雷迪

866
00:39:28,324 --> 00:39:29,825
- 對吧?真的
- 對呀

867
00:39:31,327 --> 00:39:32,161
沒錯

868
00:39:32,161 --> 00:39:34,497
妳看起來好時髦,霍爾老師

869
00:39:34,497 --> 00:39:37,208
根本是性感尤物

870
00:39:37,208 --> 00:39:40,002
妳讓我無話可說

871
00:39:41,087 --> 00:39:43,297
我不可能每天幫自己化得這麼美

872
00:39:43,297 --> 00:39:45,966
但看見自己的不同樣貌,感覺真好

873
00:39:45,966 --> 00:39:47,426
謝謝妳

874
00:39:52,181 --> 00:39:53,182
傑瑞德

875
00:39:53,182 --> 00:39:56,018
親愛的,準備鞋子,今晚要出門

876
00:39:56,018 --> 00:39:58,604
因為你老婆現在美極了,寶貝

877
00:40:06,821 --> 00:40:08,114
好,維持秩序

878
00:40:09,615 --> 00:40:10,616
乖乖的

879
00:40:17,957 --> 00:40:20,334
好好思考你們想追求的職業

880
00:40:20,334 --> 00:40:23,671
但別忘了,超級英雄不是真正的職業

881
00:40:28,008 --> 00:40:30,177
這是妳第一個職業日,心情如何?

882
00:40:30,177 --> 00:40:31,387
我感覺...

883
00:40:31,971 --> 00:40:34,306
感覺很棒,孩子們都很喜歡

884
00:40:34,306 --> 00:40:36,684
妳應該要感到驕傲才對

885
00:40:36,684 --> 00:40:38,561
妳幫我安排的植物學家還教我

886
00:40:38,561 --> 00:40:40,771
用琉璃苣當覆蓋物來改善土壤

887
00:40:40,771 --> 00:40:43,607
我們即將出產全費城最肥沃的蘿蔔

888
00:40:45,109 --> 00:40:46,485
抱歉,你...

889
00:40:46,485 --> 00:40:50,030
我沒見過有人對蘿蔔如此充滿熱忱

890
00:40:50,030 --> 00:40:51,740
蘿蔔是我唯一喜愛的食物

891
00:40:51,740 --> 00:40:53,159
- 它又乾又苦,而且...
- 很苦

892
00:40:53,159 --> 00:40:55,453
- 對,我知道
- 完美的一體,對

893
00:40:55,453 --> 00:40:56,912
你的最愛

894
00:40:58,581 --> 00:40:59,665
真令人懷念

895
00:41:01,500 --> 00:41:04,503
和妳閒聊日常,感覺...

896
00:41:05,254 --> 00:41:07,214
老天,我也是

897
00:41:07,923 --> 00:41:08,924
真的很懷念

898
00:41:08,924 --> 00:41:12,178
幾乎每天發生的大小事,我都很想跟你說

899
00:41:12,178 --> 00:41:13,345
- 真的?
- 真的

900
00:41:13,345 --> 00:41:15,473
例如剛剛梅麗莎和蓋瑞的事

901
00:41:15,473 --> 00:41:16,891
- 她拒絕他的求婚...
- 對

902
00:41:16,891 --> 00:41:17,975
而且還在老鷹隊面前

903
00:41:17,975 --> 00:41:20,728
- 我只想馬上和你分享
- 那真是...太...

904
00:41:21,562 --> 00:41:22,605
好

905
00:41:22,605 --> 00:41:24,315
但我們的感覺就是不對

906
00:41:24,315 --> 00:41:25,649
對,有點奇怪

907
00:41:26,692 --> 00:41:28,527
我只想給妳一點私人空間

908
00:41:30,488 --> 00:41:31,489
我有注意到

909
00:41:33,574 --> 00:41:34,700
為什麼?

910
00:41:37,203 --> 00:41:40,831
我以為是因為那次的談話,妳才選擇離開

911
00:41:42,917 --> 00:41:43,918
我的天

912
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:47,338
不是,不是

913
00:41:47,338 --> 00:41:49,715
我非常尊重你說的話

914
00:41:50,508 --> 00:41:54,094
我離開是因為我很想在學區工作看看

915
00:41:54,094 --> 00:41:55,262
真的是這樣

916
00:41:59,642 --> 00:42:00,935
那我就鬆一口氣了

917
00:42:00,935 --> 00:42:02,394
好

918
00:42:03,687 --> 00:42:06,190
我聽說你被困在防水布底下

919
00:42:08,317 --> 00:42:10,611
是怎樣,妳追蹤與我有關的新聞嗎?

920
00:42:10,611 --> 00:42:13,781
不是,我追蹤有關防水布的丟臉新聞

921
00:42:15,115 --> 00:42:17,201
妳不用去忙學區的工作嗎?

922
00:42:18,827 --> 00:42:21,497
就在我以為我終於成為正式黨員的時候

923
00:42:21,497 --> 00:42:23,749
他們竟然厚顏無恥地想殺我滅口

924
00:42:23,749 --> 00:42:24,833
不敢相信吧?

925
00:42:24,833 --> 00:42:27,545
所以我三兩下解決那群混混

926
00:42:27,545 --> 00:42:31,382
然後離開西西里島
正式成為美國公民,並且來到這裡

927
00:42:31,966 --> 00:42:33,384
我做過400種工作

928
00:42:33,384 --> 00:42:36,053
{\an8}直到我拿起這個拖把,並且永不回頭

929
00:42:37,054 --> 00:42:39,181
{\an8}我仍無法正眼看待義大利餃子

930
00:42:39,807 --> 00:42:43,477
{\an8}總之,工友這工作簡單明瞭

931
00:42:43,477 --> 00:42:44,937
{\an8}我無所不在

932
00:42:45,437 --> 00:42:46,939
{\an8}你們知道我在幹嘛

933
00:42:48,399 --> 00:42:49,817
{\an8}(黑人女性的歷史)

934
00:42:49,817 --> 00:42:51,360
{\an8}太讚了!

935
00:42:54,405 --> 00:42:56,407
- {\an8}字幕翻譯:
- Quill Lee