1 00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:03,295 Check out the new sub. Oof. 2 00:00:03,295 --> 00:00:04,922 Little bow tie. That does not bode well. 3 00:00:04,922 --> 00:00:06,924 Uh, I beg to differ. 4 00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:08,425 You know how hard it is to tie one of those? 5 00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:10,135 That man has already persevered once today. 6 00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:11,303 I think he got this. [ Chuckles ] 7 00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:12,804 Grand rising, brother... All right. 8 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:13,639 ...sister... Mm. 9 00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:15,349 ...and ma'am. 10 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:16,767 I'm Ethan Joyner, subbing for the second grade. 11 00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,185 Thanks for coming in. 12 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,228 You'll be right down the hall and on the left. 13 00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:20,729 Okay. Thank you. 14 00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,522 He will be selling bean pies 15 00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:24,650 betwixt lanes of traffic before lunch. 16 00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:27,444 Five bucks that he's gone by the end of recess. 17 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:29,321 You know what? Gregory really needs a win today. 18 00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:30,530 I'll take that bet. All right. 19 00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:32,449 I just smelled a smelly smell 20 00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:35,160 that I've never s-smelled before, and-- 21 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:37,204 and the doorknobs are so sticky! 22 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:39,873 I think I just lost a couple fingerprints. 23 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,542 [ Exhales deeply ] I forgot. 24 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,252 I actually want to be a lawyer. 25 00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:45,003 But the kids ain't even here yet. 26 00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:46,171 Mm-mm-mm. Mm-mm. 27 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,714 It's a clip-on! [ Laughs ] 28 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:52,010 A real bow-tie bamboozle. Mm-hmm. 29 00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,638 [ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ] 30 00:00:54,638 --> 00:01:04,606 ♪ 31 00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:06,441 You want to get a drink at Rubies tonight? 32 00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:08,193 Uh, yeah. I'm down. 33 00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:10,070 Did y'all not check out Sabrina's yesterday? 34 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,155 Oh, we did. Yeah. Did you mention my name? 35 00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:15,158 Yeah. The staff had a really loaded reaction. 36 00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,285 Bet you didn't have to pay, though. 37 00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:19,162 Monetarily? No. Emotionally, however... 38 00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:21,748 You know, you're a real social butterfly lately. 39 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:25,168 Takes me back to when I used to stay out all night 40 00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:26,837 to avoid my problems. 41 00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,547 But that was last week. 42 00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:31,925 Old gal still got it, huh? 43 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,510 I mean young maiden. 44 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:36,013 Hey, that's how we roll, Mel Mel. 45 00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:39,016 Dudin' it up. Blokin' it back. 46 00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,394 Bro-ing it down. 47 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,605 Really? 48 00:01:47,691 --> 00:01:50,068 Mr. Johnson: We used to be the Three Musketeers. 49 00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:51,695 But now I'm one musketeer, 50 00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:54,573 and they're just two [bleep] that don't invite me to things. 51 00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:56,867 [ Knock on door ] Hey, there. How you doing? 52 00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:58,327 I'm Melissa Schemmenti. 53 00:01:58,327 --> 00:01:59,369 I'm the other second grade teacher, 54 00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:01,204 so I just wanted to pop over and say hi 55 00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:02,873 and let you know I'm right across the hall 56 00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:04,416 Thanks. in case you need anything. 57 00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:05,959 Okay. I doubt I'll have any issues. 58 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,919 I used to be a kid. I think I can handle a dozen me's. 59 00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:10,172 Well, you know, this is a public school, 60 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:12,215 so there's gonna be like 30 of youse there. 61 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:13,425 [ Laughs ] Thirty? 62 00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:14,426 Yeah. Wow. 63 00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:16,428 That's three groups of ten. 64 00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:18,764 Hey, you're qualified to take classes here. 65 00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:20,182 Yeah. Well, thanks for checking in. Yeah. 66 00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:21,767 I'm gonna be the best temp these parts have ever seen. 67 00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:23,310 You mean sub. 68 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:26,396 I did mean sub. Yeah. 69 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:28,815 But not all of us can remember the right words every time. 70 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,568 Um, how long you been a sub? 71 00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,153 Ever since I got my gift card-- 72 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,405 gift certificate-- teaching certificate. 73 00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:38,241 Teaching... feels like a gift. 74 00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:41,244 [ School bell rings ] 75 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:43,246 Okay, y'all. Good job today. 76 00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:45,457 And remember, practicing is more important than your homework. 77 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:46,958 And if any of your teachers disagree, 78 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:48,502 I can and will fire them. 79 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:51,546 Well, I hope the gym is to everyone's liking. 80 00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:56,218 I find the acoustics to be delicious. 81 00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:59,179 Well, Sister Howard, with a little practice, 82 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,890 our voices will ring louder than that lipstick of yours. 83 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:03,809 [ Women murmuring ] 84 00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:06,520 My church choir is going to be rehearsing in the school gym 85 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,856 because they found mold in the church rehearsal room. 86 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,775 So I'm graciously letting them use 87 00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:14,653 the freshly named Ava Coleman Memorial Coliseum 88 00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:17,781 for a very reasonable yet expensive price. 89 00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,658 All right, choir. 90 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:22,452 The announcement of the closing number 91 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:25,288 for the Triumphant Love Concert. 92 00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:28,166 After careful deliberation and consultation, 93 00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:31,002 we are going to sing... "Shackles." 94 00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:33,171 Oh! Just imagine. 95 00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:36,883 One woman will harness the power of two Marys! 96 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:38,677 Right you are, Sister Howard. Yes! 97 00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:40,554 And we all know there's only one woman 98 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:43,640 who can lead us through those melodious pastures. Yes. 99 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,475 Sheila! [ Women murmuring ] 100 00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:49,646 [ Chuckles awkwardly ] 101 00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:52,107 Congratulations, Sheila. Ava: Ooh, ooh. 102 00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:53,525 Have y'all heard the mash-up 103 00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:55,652 between "Shackles" and "Poundtown"? 104 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:58,113 You are not gonna believe what she took the shackles off of. 105 00:03:58,113 --> 00:04:00,323 Guess. 106 00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:01,533 [ Indistinct conversations, dart thuds ] 107 00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:03,743 Ah! I love it here! 108 00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:07,164 It's like "Cheers"-- except nobody knows my name. 109 00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:08,457 Hey. I'm gonna go close out. 110 00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:10,250 Oh, close out? Not so fast, mon frère. 111 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,961 I'm trying to get another round! 112 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:16,006 Of water. The drinks here are a wee bit pricy. 113 00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,008 Don't you think it's getting a little late for a school night? 114 00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,217 It's okay. 115 00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,470 I will caffeinate to the gods tomorrow. 116 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:23,263 Besides, I think Zach's still awake, 117 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,681 so I kind of want to wait that out. 118 00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,516 Oh, what's going on? You all in a fight? 119 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,477 Didn't nobody tell you to stay out of gay folks' business? 120 00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:29,936 Now, you know that's not the same. 121 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,730 Fine. 122 00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:34,191 Yeah, we've-- we've been arguing a bit more lately, 123 00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:36,109 but that's normal. 124 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,402 You have your honeymoon phase 125 00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:38,737 and then your "I'm in Hell" phase 126 00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,447 and then "I guess we're stuck here" phase. 127 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,699 And then you get married, and then you die. 128 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,618 Well, how long has this been going on? 129 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,119 Mm, about a month. 130 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,121 Wait. No. February is almost over. 131 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,540 So... I'd say seven months. 132 00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:51,833 Seven months? 133 00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:55,837 We're bored, I guess. 134 00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,798 We go entire days without talking. 135 00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,925 And when we do, we're just kind of pretending 136 00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:01,593 to still be into each other. 137 00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:03,428 And when we're not bored, we're bickering. 138 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,180 I don't know. It's just-- It's not working. 139 00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:07,015 It's like a DC movie over here. 140 00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,392 I-I don't want to overstep, 141 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:12,521 but at this point, if you're avoiding going home, 142 00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,523 you might want to consider breaking up. 143 00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:16,483 Well, when you put it like that, 144 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,443 I guess it's pretty obvious, huh? 145 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,613 [ Dart thuds ] Oh! Nice! 146 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:22,531 I got one! 147 00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:32,082 ♪ Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance ♪ 148 00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:33,333 ♪ I just want to praise You ♪ 149 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,584 ♪ What you gonna do? ♪ 150 00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:37,295 ♪ I'm gonna praise You ♪ Damn, Barb! 151 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:39,047 You were robbed of that solo. 152 00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:41,341 Sister Sipp picks who she thinks should sing the solos 153 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,385 based upon who she thinks is gonna sing it best. 154 00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,804 And it just so happens it's never me. 155 00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:47,222 That's just like my sorority. 156 00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,932 If you're not cool with the mean girls, 157 00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,267 they'll have you all the way at the back of the step show 158 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:51,893 like the creepy uncle at a wedding. 159 00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:53,520 But this is different. 160 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,815 What is a choir if not a sorority for the Lord? 161 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:59,901 While I do not agree, I see your point. 162 00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:02,654 At the next rehearsal, you need to ask for what you want. 163 00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:05,657 You got to walk in there like "I am that girl." 164 00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:09,327 I am that woman. 165 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:09,995 That girl. 166 00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:12,539 I am that lady. 167 00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:15,292 It's just that that doesn't really hit the same. 168 00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,376 [ Whispering ] That girl. 169 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,963 That girl. Yes. 170 00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,756 [ Children screaming ] 171 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:26,177 Is everything all right?! 172 00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:27,679 For sure. 173 00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:30,015 Been using tactics I read in a book I heard. 174 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:34,603 You know, sometimes it feels like I'm the one teaching them. 175 00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:37,772 Where did you say you got your teacher's certification? 176 00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:39,107 I didn't. 177 00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:40,775 You didn't get your certification? 178 00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:43,904 No, I didn't say. Hey, you want to get in on this? 179 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:50,285 Aah! 180 00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:52,954 We can't bill them. [ Phone buzzes ] 181 00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:55,790 Hey, Melissa. Look, I'm completely underwater 182 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:57,500 and just in the middle of an impossible decision right now. 183 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,752 What's up? Okay. 184 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,462 There's a phony subbing for your class. 185 00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:02,464 Oh, my goodness. Are the kids okay? 186 00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:04,424 Yeah, they're fine, but there is no way 187 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,759 this person has a teaching certificate. 188 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,510 Melissa, are you sure? 189 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,471 I mean, I cannot be weird about another sub. 190 00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:12,682 Please just look up Cassidy Jeffrey for me. 191 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:13,975 Okay. But you owe me one. 192 00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:15,727 I'm hanging up now. 193 00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:17,812 All right. 194 00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:22,525 I didn't get in this position by shying away from bold choices. 195 00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:25,945 Put me down for the Waldorf salad, extra grapes. 196 00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:28,073 Damn it, Janine. You've done it again. 197 00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,992 Them doughnuts are gonna kill you. 198 00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:32,911 Mm-hmm. You know that, right? 199 00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:35,664 [ Indistinct conversations, vehicles passing in distance ] 200 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:39,834 Witchyo nosy ass. 201 00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:47,384 Well, I did it. You broke up with him? 202 00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:49,094 What? No. Never. 203 00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:51,596 I started the process of getting him to break up with me. 204 00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:52,889 By telling him that you're unhappy in the relationship? 205 00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:54,432 Uh, no. 206 00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:55,809 By doing things that I know he doesn't like. 207 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:58,061 For example, when I just got out of the car right now, 208 00:07:58,061 --> 00:07:59,396 I did not say goodbye. 209 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:00,772 He hates that. 210 00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:02,315 So you did nothing. 211 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,776 Trust me, this is not nothing, okay? 212 00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:07,779 If I know him, he is absolutely fuming right now. 213 00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:09,906 I can't watch. 214 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:20,333 Hey, man, you got a second? Uh, I'm kind of busy. 215 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:21,376 I got to finish watching the Eras Tour. 216 00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:22,794 When Zach finds out I watched it without him, 217 00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:24,629 we are gonna have bad blood. 218 00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:27,298 I said we're gonna have bad-- Yeah, I heard you. Um, look. 219 00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:28,717 I don't think you're gonna end up 220 00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:30,301 feeling really good about what you're doing here. 221 00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:31,886 I don't. I feel terrible. 222 00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:32,929 Then why are you doing it? 223 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,431 Because I love Zach, 224 00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:36,182 and if I break up with him, it will crush him. 225 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,226 And so I'm doing this for him. 226 00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:39,769 Okay. 227 00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:41,896 Maybe I should stay out of gay folks' business, 228 00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:44,524 but you can't actually think this is gonna work. 229 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,484 Would some positive reinforcement kill you? 230 00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:48,194 I have never broken up with someone, okay? 231 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,362 I don't even know how to do it. 232 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,114 Uh, "Hey, Zach, neither of us is happy, 233 00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:52,907 and so I think we should break up"? 234 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:54,659 That's pretty much exactly it. Well, you would know. 235 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:55,910 You're, like, the only person 236 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:57,871 who's been dumped more times than I have. 237 00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,082 My time for caring about this has expired. 238 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,292 Wait. No, no, no. 239 00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:03,501 You said what you said. I heard you. 240 00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:04,919 I... Mm-hmm. 241 00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:09,758 What do you got for me, kid? 242 00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:12,969 Not only can I not find a sub cert for Cassidy Jeffrey, 243 00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:15,054 there's not even a Cassidy Jeffrey in the system. 244 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:16,598 [ Gasps ] I knew it. Okay. 245 00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:19,058 Are you on your way down here now to bury their ass? 246 00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,852 Just hold your horsies, okay? 247 00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:23,313 I will be there when I can, but they need me here. 248 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:24,314 [ Sighs ] What-- 249 00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:25,690 [ Phone beeps ] 250 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:28,109 [ Clears throat ] 251 00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:30,695 Oh, sorry. I had to take that call. 252 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,030 We saw you dial. 253 00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:35,241 Emily, I swear to God. 254 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:39,120 Barbara, is that a new ear piercing I see? 255 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,748 No, Sister Sloss. It's the same one. 256 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,166 You mean the same several. 257 00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:50,924 Before we begin, I'd like to throw my hat in the ring 258 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:53,092 as lead singer on "Shackles." 259 00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:55,553 I've been in the choir for quite some time now, 260 00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:58,389 and I think that I deserve a chance. 261 00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:00,100 Well, that's rather unorthodox, 262 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,769 but I shouldn't say I'm surprised. 263 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:06,189 In order for us to get a better sense of your vocal stylings, 264 00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:08,733 why don't you sing "O Happy Day"? 265 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,902 Oh. A curveball. 266 00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:12,695 ♪ O happy day-- ♪ 267 00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,280 Thank you! 268 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,740 That was beautiful. 269 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,201 However, "Shackles" is more in Sheila's key, 270 00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:20,036 so I think we'll stick with her. 271 00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:22,789 I understand. 272 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,415 [ Scoffs ] I don't. 273 00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:26,126 And this time it's not because I wasn't paying attention. 274 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:29,212 Ava, please. Just calm down. 275 00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:31,172 Nah! 'Cause they ain't gonna be lying in my coliseum. 276 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:34,425 No, no. They have made up their minds. 277 00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:35,844 It's fine. 278 00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:37,512 This is ridiculous. I've heard Sheila sing. 279 00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,264 What she does to those songs, it's not right. 280 00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:40,598 It's not of the Lord. 281 00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,350 Well, sometimes she does sound like 282 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:44,269 she's the one up on the cross. 283 00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:46,020 [ Laughs ] That's a good one. Let's go back in and say that. 284 00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:48,189 No. 285 00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:52,026 Ava, I tried. Let's just leave it alone. 286 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:56,990 [ Sighs ] 287 00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:01,202 Well, the plan continues to work flawlessly. 288 00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:03,705 Last night, I focused on the most passive-aggressive room 289 00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:05,707 in our one-bedroom apartment-- the kitchen. 290 00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:07,959 I didn't squeeze out the sponge. 291 00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:09,711 I left the microwave door open. 292 00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:12,255 As if that wasn't enough, I made toast. 293 00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:14,591 I took a knife, and I spread the butter, 294 00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:16,634 and then I took that same knife and I got some jelly. 295 00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:20,680 I left everything out, and then I took a big old bite. 296 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:24,100 [ Door opens ] Crumbs, like, everywhere. 297 00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:30,857 [ Gasps ] 298 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,859 It's frightening how good I am at all of this. 299 00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:36,279 It's, um... I'm s-- I'm scaring myself. 300 00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:37,614 All right. We got to do this quickly. 301 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:38,907 Pulled out of an early meeting. 302 00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:40,200 Told them I had to go feed the meter. 303 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,701 Don't you guys have a parking lot? 304 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:42,994 They knew I was lying. Ready? 305 00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:44,662 Oh, absolutely. 306 00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,664 You know, most people calm down over time, 307 00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:48,833 but I just get angrier and less rational. 308 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,919 That's concerning. 309 00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:54,130 [ Janine clears throat ] Oh. Hello, Melissa and-- 310 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,841 Your worst nightmare. The jig is up, Jeffrey. 311 00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,676 I actually work at the school district. 312 00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:00,970 And guess who isn't in the substitute database? 313 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,430 Who? You. 314 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:03,890 I don't know what you're talking about. 315 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:04,891 I've subbed all over Philly. 316 00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:06,476 Oh, yeah? What schools? 317 00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,686 Washington. Jefferson. Roosevelt. 318 00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:10,146 McKinley. Roosevelt again. 319 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,481 Okay. You're just naming presidents. 320 00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:12,690 You're out of here. Yeah. 321 00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:14,400 I've searched every employment file 322 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,028 that the district has, and there's no record 323 00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:19,072 of a Cassidy... 324 00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:22,992 Is it "Gee-oh-free"? 325 00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:24,953 It's pronounced "Jeffrey." 326 00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:29,791 But it isn't spelled that way, now, is it? 327 00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:32,919 And-- And I bet if I spelled it correctly 328 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:36,339 that there would be a record of you at the district. 329 00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:38,132 Yeah, you really stepped in it this time, 330 00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:39,842 didn't you, Teagues? [ Clears throat ] 331 00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,260 So, is that the German spelling? 332 00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:44,847 Ja. 333 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,434 It's finally gonna be over soon. 334 00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,270 Zach just sent a text that said, "We need to talk," 335 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,355 and he should be here momentarily. 336 00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:53,481 You shouldn't have doubted me. 337 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,358 My plan worked, and your plan shorked. 338 00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:57,944 Not a word. I just came to get my pen I forgot. 339 00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:59,612 Hey, Gregory! 340 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,614 Oh, hey, Zach. I just came to grab my pen and I'll be out. 341 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,324 You seemed really, uh, stressed 342 00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:05,535 in your text. What did you want to talk about? 343 00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:08,204 Jacob, I've been rather frustrated and confused. 344 00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:10,832 Well, that seems really... frustrating and confusing. 345 00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:12,333 And you don't deserve to feel that way. 346 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:13,626 My brother, if I could just-- 347 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,837 Jacob, I didn't think it would come to this, 348 00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:18,131 but I think we should go to couples counseling. 349 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,966 I wanna break up! 350 00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:28,725 This is exactly why I'm not in a throuple. 351 00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:33,438 You want to break up? What? You want to break up? What? 352 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,273 Jacob, you said you wanted to break up. 353 00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:37,025 Are you sure you didn't say it first? 354 00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:38,818 Because I-I think you did. 355 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,446 And if that's the case, I-I totally understand. 356 00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:42,822 I'm glad you got that off your chest. 357 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:45,742 Jacob, what's going on? 358 00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,410 Are you breaking up with me? 359 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:53,207 Yes. I don't think 360 00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:55,334 we should be together. 361 00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:57,420 I'm sorry. 362 00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:59,297 We haven't been happy for a long time, okay? 363 00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:01,466 I felt it. I know you felt it. 364 00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:03,384 I don't think either of us wanted to admit 365 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,178 that this is what needs to happen. 366 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:09,724 In my heart of hearts, if I'm being completely honest, 367 00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:11,601 maybe I just brought up couples therapy 368 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:13,728 because I was too afraid to rip off the bandage. 369 00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:15,897 Mm. 370 00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:18,775 This sucks. 371 00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:20,026 Yeah. 372 00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:28,117 I mean... thank you for being upfront. 373 00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:29,368 That took guts. 374 00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:31,579 Well... don't give me too much credit. 375 00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,498 I've... I've been so scared. 376 00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:35,833 I've been trying to get you to break up with me. 377 00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:37,376 Sorry. What? 378 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,964 Well, actually, it's-- it's really funny. 379 00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:44,801 Like, because I've been trying to drive you nuts 380 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,552 so that you would break up with me. 381 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:50,348 Is that why you've been buying two of every condiment 382 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:53,601 despite our limited fridge and cabinet space? 383 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,228 No. That was-- That was a genuine mistake 384 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,646 each and every time. 385 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:59,774 But, uh, everything else was kinda on purpose. 386 00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:03,402 Jacob Hill, you sick bitch. 387 00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,404 You just released the kraken. 388 00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,281 [ Claps hands ] Ca-caw! 389 00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:08,825 The kraken isn't a bird. It's a sea mons-- 390 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:11,160 Quiet, sweet prince. 391 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,163 I don't have to care about that anymore. 392 00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:17,959 And FYI-- Your facts were never fun, 393 00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:20,294 composting is disgusting, 394 00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:23,714 and you held our team back at trivia night. 395 00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:28,177 ♪ Oh, my God ♪ 396 00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:35,059 Jacob: You were right. 397 00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:36,269 I was. 398 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,437 I should have talked to him immediately. 399 00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:39,313 You should've. 400 00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:42,316 You came back for me. 401 00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:44,068 Came back for my pen. 402 00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:56,122 [ Pen clicks ] 403 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,875 Yeah, I guess I do have other pens. 404 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:03,838 [ Indistinct conversations ] 405 00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:05,506 Oh. There you are. 406 00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:07,341 Here is the key to the gym. 407 00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:09,969 I will not be sticking around to overhear those old biddies 408 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,888 praying for the curbs to stop being so high. 409 00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:13,264 Thanks, Ava. 410 00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,601 I know why my sorority sisters don't like me. 411 00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:19,228 But why don't those church ladies like you, Barb? 412 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:23,274 I'm too modern for them. 413 00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:26,152 I am not Christian enough for them. 414 00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,904 All because you got a few piercings? 415 00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,697 If anybody can appreciate a few extra holes 416 00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:31,115 in their bodies, it's Jesus. 417 00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:33,618 It is not just about the piercings. 418 00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:35,995 It is the jazz nights with Gerald. 419 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,705 It's the all-inclusive cruises 420 00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,957 where Sea Barbara pokes her little head out. 421 00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:42,668 And not to mention that... 422 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:48,007 I'm friends with some of Abbott's more colorful teachers. 423 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,091 Why do you even want to be part of that choir 424 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,635 if that's how they treat you? 425 00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:53,721 Because when I'm singing, that's when I feel closest to God. 426 00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:57,808 And... when my kids were younger, you know, balancing it all, 427 00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,936 it was-- it was rough. 428 00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:02,480 So one day I didn't go to church. 429 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,148 And then the next week, we didn't go to church. 430 00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:06,400 And I just started to think 431 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:10,529 if I could just give it all up like that, what does that mean? 432 00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:13,532 Then I started questioning my faith altogether. 433 00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:16,494 And then one day, I heard "Shackles" on the radio. 434 00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:21,832 And that song-- ooh!-- it brought me back to church. 435 00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:25,086 [ Sighs ] 436 00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:27,922 "The testing of your faith produces perseverance." 437 00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:30,216 Not you quoting scripture. 438 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:33,469 Lord, He does work in mysterious ways. 439 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:34,929 Not that mysterious. 440 00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:36,806 You thought they could keep me away from a place 441 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,516 that passes out free money on a free plate? 442 00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:42,019 You know something, Ava? You are right. 443 00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:44,772 Ah. The Lord wants me to persevere. 444 00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:48,150 He wants me to tell that story. 445 00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:49,318 Yes! 446 00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:51,445 Tell that story. 447 00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:53,072 That's not what I meant at all. 448 00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:58,411 Hey. How we doing, buddy? 449 00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,830 Not great. Turns out Zach is the vengeful type. 450 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,915 He shrunk all of my shrinkables, 451 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,376 which is pretty much every sweater I own. 452 00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:06,961 And not only do I need new clothes, 453 00:18:06,961 --> 00:18:10,298 but I also have to find a new apartment-- and soon. 454 00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:12,675 Zach has already started writing a one-man show about me. 455 00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:15,970 He's calling it "Fleabag," but with an "F." 456 00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:18,431 "Fleafaf"? 457 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:20,266 No. 458 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,268 I am so sick of you two. 459 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:27,398 Um, why don't we go to Rubensteins tonight? 460 00:18:27,398 --> 00:18:28,941 I should probably teach you how to throw darts 461 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:29,942 so you don't take somebody's eye out. 462 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,944 We can invite Janine. 463 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,322 Yeah. That sounds nice. 464 00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:36,824 Hey, can-- can you grab that granola for me? 465 00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:39,952 It's on the top shelf, and I've got this... situation happening. 466 00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,082 Yeah. 467 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,967 Just came from apologizing to the sub. 468 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,719 Oh. It went well, 469 00:18:56,719 --> 00:18:59,638 but they are filing a complaint with the school district. 470 00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:02,058 Just hope they spell Teagues with two G's. 471 00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:04,310 I'm sorry I roped you into this whole thing. 472 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,479 I don't know whether it's 'cause I'm down to one class 473 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:09,065 or I'm home by myself all the time now or-- 474 00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:10,650 I don't know-- maybe I'm just plain bored. 475 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,568 Maybe you just miss getting into classic high jinks 476 00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:13,819 with you and me. 477 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,863 Nah. That's not it. 478 00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:16,864 It's the bored thing. 479 00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:21,327 So, did you tell them 480 00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:23,120 why "Shackles" was so important to you? 481 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,831 I did. They were unmoved. 482 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,208 I knew they wouldn't go for it. 483 00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:28,834 Church ladies, sorority sisters, 484 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:30,920 everyone who's ever worked at a dermatologist's office-- 485 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,171 They're all the same. 486 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,548 You know what? It's all right. 487 00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:37,802 I've learned not to overlook my many blessings. 488 00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:41,514 Besides, I still get to perform a song that means so much to me. 489 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,516 And you get to do it twice. 490 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:44,642 What do you mean? 491 00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:49,271 I threw together this little surprise recital for Barb, 492 00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:51,690 because apparently you can't key a church lady's car anymore? 493 00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:54,235 Well, go on in. 494 00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:55,444 [ Applause ] 495 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,869 [ Mid-tempo introduction plays ] 496 00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:06,247 It sure is hot out here. Go, girl. 497 00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:09,083 I don't mind, though. 498 00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:11,210 I'm just glad to be free. 499 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,753 Know what I'm sayin'? Unh! 500 00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:17,133 ♪ Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance ♪ 501 00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:22,430 ♪ I just want to praise You ♪ 502 00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:25,933 ♪ In the corners of my mind, I just can't seem to find ♪ 503 00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:30,104 ♪ A reason to believe that I can break free ♪ 504 00:20:30,104 --> 00:20:33,524 ♪ 'Cause, you see, I have been down for so long ♪ 505 00:20:33,524 --> 00:20:35,526 ♪ Feel like all hope was gone ♪ 506 00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:38,779 ♪ But as I lift my hands, I understand ♪ 507 00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:41,907 ♪ That I should praise You through my circumstance ♪ 508 00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,909 This is making me want to rejoin the Church-- 509 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:46,245 of Latter-day Saints. ♪ So I can dance ♪ 510 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,831 ♪ Just want to praise You ♪ 511 00:20:48,831 --> 00:20:51,167 ♪ I just want to praise You ♪ 512 00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:56,380 I should've told Barbara to stick to one song. 513 00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:57,465 She's going through her whole discography. 514 00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:58,632 We've heard everything from "We Shall Overcome" 515 00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:00,134 to "This Little Light of Mine." 516 00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:02,219 We can't keep going on with all this biblical talk. 517 00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:03,762 This is a public school, for God's sake. 518 00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:06,640 Barbara: Now, this next note is called a whistle tone. 519 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,934 Your first instinct might be to cover your ears. 520 00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:10,978 Don't. ♪ Ahhh ♪ 521 00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,897 Hey, Barb. Hey. Do you know "Go Down, Moses"? 522 00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:14,315 Oh, yes. 523 00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:16,400 'Cause I'mma need you to let my people go. 524 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,693 Ooh. 525 00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:18,736 Oh, yeah! 526 00:21:18,736 --> 00:21:20,321 [ Cheers and applause ] 527 00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:23,449 Thank you. Thank you. 528 00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:28,579 Captions by VITAC--