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[Velma] Previously on Velma...
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00:00:07,632 --> 00:00:08,550
I like you.
3
00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:09,926
That's hilarious.
4
00:00:10,009 --> 00:00:10,885
[chuckling]
5
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:13,930
[gasps] Wait. Norville.
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00:00:14,013 --> 00:00:15,515
Your joke worked, you genius!
7
00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:16,683
Keep making me laugh.
8
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:18,393
No, Velma, wait!
9
00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:20,770
I'm here because I want you.
10
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,021
That book you gave me
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00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:24,023
opened my eyes
to your inner beauty.
12
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-[groans]
-Hey, watch where you're going.
13
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:28,570
Gigi?
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00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:30,113
Hi.
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00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:32,949
[Daphne] Norville,
I've definitely
been here before.
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00:00:33,032 --> 00:00:35,618
I feel like
all the answers to my questions
17
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,620
about my parents are in there.
18
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:38,621
[Norville] The bathrooms?
19
00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:41,082
Wait. I mean in there.
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00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:52,635
[panting]
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00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,804
[Velma] Okay,
so you know that thing
when you text your friends
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00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,222
and they don't text you back,
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so it feels like
you're gonna die?
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00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,392
Well, if my friend
didn't text me back,
25
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,936
-I actually was going to die.
-[grunting]
26
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:03,521
Because Norville
was ghosting me,
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00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:05,648
and my hallucinations
had gotten so bad,
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00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,485
I couldn't even look
at my murder board
without having one.
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00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:11,029
Sure, Daphne could have
helped me find my mom.
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-But when I was with her...
-[Velma gasps]
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...the only mystery
I wanted to solve
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00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:17,118
was the case
of the missing inhibitions.
[chuckles nervously]
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00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:18,036
[grunts]
34
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:19,662
[exclaims]
35
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:24,959
[theme music playing]
36
00:01:27,295 --> 00:01:29,005
Dad, I need a ride to school.
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00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:31,966
Norville's MIA,
and my walking pace
attracts vultures.
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Sorry, no time.
Baby's coming home tomorrow
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-so I need to clean...
-[glass shatters]
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...before heading
to the hospital
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for Sophie's
postpartum photoshoot
with the nursing staff.
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I'm gonna be there all night.
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00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:43,019
Hold up.
You're leaving me home alone
44
00:01:43,102 --> 00:01:45,021
with a murderer on the loose?
45
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Even though I was voted
most likely to be murdered
before any of this?
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00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:50,109
You won't be alone, Velma.
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You have
the marching band sleepover
in the school gym tonight.
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00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:54,864
[gasps]
The marching band sleepover?
49
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:58,868
Ugh, Norville really has
abandoned me
at my lowest moment.
50
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,203
[indistinct chatter]
51
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,413
This sleepover's
gonna be so tight.
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00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:05,416
Wait until you see
how much pizza I eat.
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I can eat three slices.
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[grunting]
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[indistinct chatter]
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Hey, sorry to interrupt,
but have you seen Norville?
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Tall, um...
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-Blue eyes, maybe?
-[bell dings]
59
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:15,969
[Principal Rogers]
Good morning, students.
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00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:17,720
This is Principal Rogers.
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00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,723
I'm here with Mayor Dave
and the Sheriff.
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[Sheriff] Everybody, listen up!
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We just learned someone
somewhere is being intolerant.
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[all screaming]
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[boy groaning]
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00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,525
Jesus, Ed.
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Just say your thing
before they stop listening.
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00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:36,364
Hello, students.
This is your cool mayor,
Mayor Dave.
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00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:40,702
So, uh, since assigning
personal police details
to the hottest of you,
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we've been getting
a little push back
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00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,539
on the police presence
in school.
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But fun twist!
It's from the police.
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Uh-oh!
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00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:50,753
-I just rear ended a cop.
-[girls mumbling]
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In fact, the officers on detail
have all resigned,
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citing unrelenting
sexual harassment.
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Now, in place of
the police details,
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we'll now be instituting
a citywide curfew
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at 9:00 p.m. tonight,
for everyone.
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You're caught outside,
you'll spend the night in jail.
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00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:12,108
Be warned. Our deputy
is working on his stand up set.
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-[all groan]
-[Principal Rogers]
This also means
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several school events
will be canceled,
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-including...
-Band sleep over!
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...the track meet...
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-[whistle blows]
-[thuds, shrieks]
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...the Parent's Association's
Find the Asbestos
Service night
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and the marching band
sleepover.
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-[all groaning]
-Yes!
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[mysterious music playing]
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00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:34,005
Okay, baby Daphne.
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I'm going to the Crystal Mines,
and I'm not coming back
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until I figure out who I am
and where I come from.
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00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:43,431
Or six. Our moms are home
by six, so I'll be back
before then.
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Sorry, sign, but hot people
are cut too much slack
to heed warnings.
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00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:56,611
[grunting]
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00:03:57,987 --> 00:03:59,906
-[screams]
-[bats squeaking]
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00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:02,825
Ah, that's fine.
Bats are just flying rats.
99
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:04,827
-[sinister music playing]
-[screams]
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00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,996
Ground bats, yuck!
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00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,666
[sighs in relief]
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-[growling]
-[shrieks]
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[bell rings]
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00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:16,881
Oh, hey, Fred,
have you seen Norville?
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00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,424
I need him
to help me investigate.
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00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:21,469
No, but I have found a way
to make you like me.
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00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:22,971
Check it out.
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-[angelic music playing]
-And as if this isn't enough,
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I will also win your heart
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by proving
I am a helpful ally, sister.
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00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:32,522
Look, I'm glad reading
The Feminine Mystique
caused a little growth.
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Shush, a feminist is speaking,
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and he listened to your theory
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00:04:36,275 --> 00:04:38,111
about your mom
going missing at his house
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00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:39,529
and actually found something.
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Wait, you did?
And this isn't just
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you thinking I'm related
to your nanny again, is it?
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00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:44,867
[Fred] No.
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00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,703
There were some papers
in Father's special drawer,
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where he keeps his men's
work out magazines.
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Turns out,
our house used to be owned
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00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:53,626
by a woman
named Dr. Edna Perdue,
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00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:57,922
Dr. Edna Perdue
was a female neurologist.
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You don't need
to say female, Velma.
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00:05:00,299 --> 00:05:02,176
You can just say neurologist.
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00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:05,430
Ah! She died in
the Crystal Cove insane asylum,
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00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:08,599
after conducting ethically
dubious experiments?
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00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:12,228
[gasps] Fred, your house
was owned by a mad scientist.
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00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:13,896
Now I have to find Norville.
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00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,357
Oh, he's probably
tangling retainers
with his girlfriend.
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00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:18,109
Girlfriend?
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00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:20,653
Norville!
You have a girlfriend?
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00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:22,363
No.
134
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:23,948
And your girlfriend is Gigi?
135
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,826
Damn, this makes me think
I could bag Don Lemon.
136
00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:28,786
How did this happen?
I thought you were missing.
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00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,538
It's all thanks to you, Velma.
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00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:32,707
I always thought
I was just regular hot,
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00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:35,168
but you gave me the confidence
to be artsy hot.
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00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:37,003
So you're not mad, Velma?
141
00:05:37,086 --> 00:05:39,338
Sometimes it's unclear
until I'm sitting
on a thumb tack.
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00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:42,091
Mad? No, I'm so excited.
Now you have Gigi
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00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,761
to talk about boring stuff
like your swords and feelings.
144
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,095
So, when we're together,
145
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,514
we can focus solely
on finding my mom.
146
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:51,100
-Speaking of, Fred's house--
-Stop, Velma.
147
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,935
Look, Gigi and I have decided
148
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:56,689
that maybe I should
spend less time with you.
149
00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:57,982
Less time?
150
00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,526
But I only see you
when I need you as is.
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00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:01,861
Sorry, Velma.
152
00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:04,155
But until Norville learns
to stand up for himself,
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00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:05,907
he's gonna do exactly as I say.
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00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:07,909
I see.
155
00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:09,410
Fine, great.
156
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:11,537
No sweat off my under boob.
It's not like I need him.
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00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:13,956
Fred can help me
not hallucinate
by making me laugh.
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00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,959
Velma, give me the chance
and I can help you
with anything.
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00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:19,796
Uh, well, except
filling in your ethnicity
on a form.
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00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:23,216
I'm guessing Samoan?
161
00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:24,467
[mysterious music playing]
162
00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:26,511
[gasps]
163
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:28,971
Who... Who are you?
164
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,307
We're your parents, Daphne.
165
00:06:31,390 --> 00:06:32,683
My parents?
166
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,644
Why are you so hairy?
167
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:37,021
Wait, are you Brooklyn guys?
168
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,315
Oh, oh! [chuckles] Sorry.
169
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:41,859
We should have explained
that these are costumes.
170
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,612
We need to hide our identity
until we can trust you.
171
00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:46,614
Until you can trust me?
172
00:06:46,697 --> 00:06:50,159
I'm not the one
dressed like something
pulled out of the shower drain.
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00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,245
Also, if you even
are my parents,
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00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:53,538
you abandoned me.
175
00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:55,456
You weren't abandoned, Daphne.
176
00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:57,333
Your moms stole you from us.
177
00:06:57,416 --> 00:06:59,168
What? No, they didn't.
178
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,921
They found me
wrapped in a blanket
in the middle of a cornfield.
179
00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:03,464
Uh, okay.
180
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,383
But if you don't believe
we're your parents,
181
00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:08,219
look up the Crystal Mines gang
on Netscape Navigator.
182
00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:10,638
Netscape Navigator? Good Lord!
183
00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:12,348
How long have you been in here?
184
00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:14,016
Hello?
185
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:15,810
Hello.
186
00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:18,437
Did you really
just do an Irish exit?
187
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,857
Huh, maybe we are related.
188
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:23,151
Remember, tonight's curfew
is at 9 p.m.,
189
00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:25,903
and The Bachelor's
brilliant finale is at 10:00.
190
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:27,572
So, no messing around!
191
00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:30,199
So, we're going to
the Hysterical Society?
192
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,618
Then why would you need my help
making you laugh?
193
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:34,620
It's Historical Society.
194
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:36,289
Places like this
helped Skip Gates
195
00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:38,791
learn which white actors are
descended from slave owners.
196
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:42,670
If there's any record
of Dr. Perdue, it'll be here.
197
00:07:42,753 --> 00:07:47,383
So, you're friends
with our favorite docent,
Norville.
198
00:07:47,466 --> 00:07:49,760
We're so happy he's found Gigi,
199
00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:53,681
especially after wasting years
pining for that bossy one.
200
00:07:53,764 --> 00:07:55,433
What was her name? Meatball?
201
00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:58,477
I actually heard
Meatball was really cool
and beautiful.
202
00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:02,481
Well, all we have
are Dr. Perdue's old journals.
203
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:06,736
This is the one place she felt
no one would ever find them.
204
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:11,282
99.9% of our visitors are
people looking for a bathroom.
205
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:13,034
-[suspenseful music playing]
-[woman] Huh?
206
00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:14,911
The journals are missing.
207
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:18,581
Well, the last person
to look at them was, uh...
208
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:20,082
Diya Dinkley.
209
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,250
What?
210
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,169
My mom was researching
a mad scientist?
211
00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:25,796
And then disappeared
at her house? Why?
212
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:26,714
[sinister music playing]
213
00:08:26,797 --> 00:08:28,507
[laughing maniacally]
214
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:30,509
Oh, God!
Fred, I'm hallucinating!
215
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,637
Quick, make me laugh
like Norville would have.
216
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,598
I would. But all I can
think of right now
is the gender pay gap.
217
00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:37,099
Is it funny?
218
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:38,309
-Women make 20% less than men.
-[Velma whimpering]
219
00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:40,061
And women of color even less.
220
00:08:40,144 --> 00:08:41,437
-[laughing]
-[Velma screaming]
221
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:42,897
I can't stop laughing.
222
00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:44,899
-[Velma screaming]
-[growling]
223
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,531
Ah, does anyone
have a defibrillator?
224
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,993
[jazz music playing]
225
00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,210
Stop, you could lose a finger.
226
00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:05,795
And you helping me
isn't working.
227
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,088
I need Norville back.
228
00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:09,131
I literally
just died without him.
229
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,967
Well, almost died.
230
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:14,720
Still, if I can separate
reality dating shows'
exploitation of women
231
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,764
from my obsessive need
to watch them,
232
00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:18,766
I can separate
Gigi from Norville.
233
00:09:18,849 --> 00:09:20,601
I have no choice
but to lure him
234
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:23,020
to the one place
no girlfriend would ever go.
235
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:24,397
Oh, ooh! Let me guess.
236
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,482
Cigar lounge.
His dad's woodshop.
237
00:09:26,565 --> 00:09:28,025
World War II museum?
238
00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:30,194
No. My dad and stepmom
are out of the house tonight,
239
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:32,071
so I'm gonna host
a little get together.
240
00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:35,491
Looks like the marching band
sleepover just got uncanceled.
241
00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:37,827
May God have mercy on my soul.
242
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:41,914
Okay, remember
to take your pill with food,
243
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:46,085
and absolutely
no getting murdered
after curfew, young lady.
244
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,965
Band members only. You got ID?
245
00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:53,634
[playing opening theme
of 2001: A Space Odyssey]
246
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,722
[Velma] Okay, listen up, nerds.
247
00:09:57,805 --> 00:09:59,056
We gotta keep it tidy.
248
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:02,184
My dad's girlfriend
is a total OCD SOB.
249
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,228
And she's bringing
a baby home tomorrow.
250
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:08,024
So, if any of youse
need to empty your spit valves,
do it in this.
251
00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:09,608
Was there
anything else, Sophie?
252
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:11,736
Uh, yeah, a lot, actually.
253
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:13,404
Oh, right.
Don't break anything.
254
00:10:13,487 --> 00:10:15,281
Sophie will have a heart attack
and die.
255
00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:18,075
And then I'd have
to help with the baby
until we find a nanny.
256
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,369
-[trumpets]
-[exclaims]
257
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:21,746
-[clinks]
-[grunts]
258
00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:23,039
-[Fred] Velma!
-[exclaims]
259
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:24,206
-[crashes]
-[Sophie] What was that?
260
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,875
Nothing, bye.
261
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:27,460
Fred, you're not
allowed in here.
262
00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:29,086
I know, I know.
I'm not in band.
263
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:31,464
Thank God.
I'd rather kiss a toilet.
264
00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:32,965
But speaking
of kissing toilets,
265
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:35,551
I still wanna win your heart
by helping you.
266
00:10:35,634 --> 00:10:37,261
Fred, I gave you a chance.
267
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:38,971
I died-- Hey, don't eat that!
268
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:41,015
That's baking soda,
you filthy animal!
269
00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:42,058
[coughing and gasping]
270
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:43,434
But you don't have any food.
271
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:45,102
And a marching band sleepover
without food
272
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:48,564
is like a theater sleepover
without horny undertones.
273
00:10:48,647 --> 00:10:50,566
Crap! I forgot to order pizzas.
274
00:10:50,649 --> 00:10:52,485
On it.
275
00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:54,737
Your friends will remember this
as the best marching band
sleepover ever.
276
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,155
-Move it, loser.
-[gasps]
277
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,578
The Crystal Mines gang
was comprised
278
00:11:02,661 --> 00:11:06,123
of former employees
of the Crystal Mines
Mining Experience,
279
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:10,586
who banded together
when the mines shuttered
in the early '90s.
280
00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:12,546
[all gasping]
281
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,298
[man] Mine's closed.
Everyone's fired.
282
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,175
[all groan]
283
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:18,761
[Daphne] The gang of newly
unemployed workers
stayed behind,
284
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:20,471
using the mine's old tour boats
285
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:23,307
to travel beneath
the streets of Crystal Cove,
286
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:26,727
conducting robberies
for years, undetected.
287
00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:28,396
[police siren blaring]
288
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:31,524
By the time Detectives Linda
and Donna Blake
289
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:32,983
brought the gang to justice,
290
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:34,693
it had grown to 20 members,
291
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:37,780
including one infant.
292
00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:41,283
Oh, my God!
293
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,536
Genetically, I'm a villain.
294
00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:48,374
No wonder I'm attracted
to a girl who looks
like a little henchman.
295
00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:50,042
[Norville] Why are you
dropping me off here?
296
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,710
Velma's house is a block away.
297
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:54,171
Oh, no, I don't want to be seen
near your band friends.
298
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:56,715
As principal,
I have a reputation to uphold.
299
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:58,300
You understand, right?
300
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,469
Totally. I could stay home
for curfew if that's easier.
301
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:02,721
[shrieks]
302
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,640
[both] Night to ourselves!
303
00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:06,684
Time to get freaky!
304
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:10,855
[boys grunting]
305
00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:12,523
Band members only, Red.
306
00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:14,483
-But I need to talk to Velma.
-[trumpeting]
307
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,861
Hey, have you guys
never seen a girl before?
308
00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:19,321
You're pitching tents like
I'm launching a sneaker line.
309
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:20,489
Daphne?
310
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,241
Velma, I may have
found my real--
311
00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:23,826
You haven't seen Norville,
have you?
312
00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:25,369
He's like
the only dork in town,
313
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:26,704
-not inside my house.
-No, but---
314
00:12:26,787 --> 00:12:27,997
-[trumpeting]
-Trumpet!
315
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,748
Do not use that plunger
as a mute.
316
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,125
That's how Ebola happened.
317
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:32,501
Velma, wait.
318
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,420
[trumpeting]
319
00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:36,255
[gasps] Norville!
320
00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:39,341
You're not gonna believe this,
but I may have found
my birth parents.
321
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,594
No way. Tell me every detail.
322
00:12:41,677 --> 00:12:43,471
Sorry, I just need
to borrow this guy
323
00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:44,597
-for one second.
-Ah!
324
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:45,848
-[trumpeting]
-[grunts]
325
00:12:47,224 --> 00:12:48,642
[grunting in pain]
326
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,853
Okay, Norville. I understand
that for some reason,
327
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:54,732
you've chosen Gigi,
a beautiful girl who puts out,
over your angry friend.
328
00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:58,194
But I have a clue about my mom,
and I can't research it
without you.
329
00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:00,196
-[soft music playing]
-Please.
330
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:01,530
[sighing]
331
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,325
Oh, I... I guess I can help
with one clue.
332
00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:06,035
-[jazz music playing]
-Thank you.
333
00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:08,329
But make it fast.
It sounds like
Gigi just got here.
334
00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:09,246
Gigi?
335
00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:12,208
-Stop.
-[music stops abruptly]
336
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:13,584
What the hell
are you doing here, Gigi?
337
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,836
Hot girls aren't in band.
They're in choir.
338
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,672
I know, but Norville made
band sound so fun,
339
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:19,924
I didn't wanna miss out.
340
00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:22,051
So, one call to
the registrar and voila!
341
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:24,553
It's pronounced viola,
you idiot,
342
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,222
and that's an orchestra thing.
343
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:27,890
I know that. And let me guess.
344
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:30,142
You play bassoon.
345
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:31,894
[all gasping]
346
00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:33,145
How dare you?
347
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:34,605
I'm a flutatist.
348
00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:35,564
Interesting.
349
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,066
So am I.
350
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:39,276
So how about
we have a little flute-off?
351
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,569
[all gasping]
352
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:43,280
If I win, I stay.
353
00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:44,490
And if I win,
354
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:46,534
Norville does
whatever I say, forever.
355
00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:47,785
And do I get to weigh in?
356
00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:48,994
[both] No!
357
00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:52,414
[all chanting]
Flute, flute, flute!
358
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:54,250
[upbeat music playing]
359
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,882
[playing flute off-key]
360
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:05,177
[all groaning]
361
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,846
Ah, so good, babe,
I support you.
362
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:10,307
Everybody duck.
363
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:12,518
There's about to be
a drive-by fluting.
364
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,812
[upbeat music playing]
365
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:17,773
[playing flute off-key]
366
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,736
-[both playing flute off-key]
-[all groaning]
367
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:26,156
Should we stop them?
Devon just unplugged
his cochlear implants.
368
00:14:29,326 --> 00:14:30,411
[panting]
369
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:34,790
-We survived!
-[all cheering]
370
00:14:34,873 --> 00:14:37,501
-Was that jazz?
-Totally flute battle ever!
371
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,044
Gigi wins!
372
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,629
-[panting]
-[girl] Hey.
373
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,423
Just checking in on the pizza.
374
00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:46,385
Do we have an ETA
on when we can E-A-T?
375
00:14:46,468 --> 00:14:48,387
[all laughing]
376
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:51,015
I do. In two seconds,
you're gonna eat my fist.
377
00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:53,475
But I need to take a pill
with food.
378
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:54,977
-Me, too.
-Me, too.
379
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:57,146
[all] Me, too.
380
00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:58,814
-[phone vibrating]
-[message alert tone]
381
00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:00,316
I'm sorry. I hate to do this,
but I'm trying to impress
382
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:02,776
a very smart,
very stout young woman.
383
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:06,655
So, when I say
quadruple meat,
I mean quadruple meat.
384
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:09,033
Make them again!
And untie those garlic knots.
385
00:15:09,116 --> 00:15:10,284
She likes breadsticks.
386
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,705
-[Velma grunts]
-Can I help you?
387
00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:15,956
Look, let's cut the crap.
388
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,083
Norville was mine
way before he was yours.
389
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,793
So I'm only gonna
say this once.
390
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:24,923
Please, please,
please let Norville help me.
I need him.
391
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:27,760
-[Velma] Please.
-[scoffs]
392
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:31,013
Hey, Daph. Since curfew
has us stuck inside all night,
393
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:33,015
you wanna set up
the old silk screener, huh?
394
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:36,101
Maybe throw
some vacation photos
on the tote bag?
395
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:40,648
Actually, I was hoping
we could talk about
the story of my adoption.
396
00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:41,815
What's to talk about?
397
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,901
It's like we've always said.
398
00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:46,028
[both speaking in unison]
We found you wrapped
in a blanket
399
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:47,529
in the middle of a cornfield.
400
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:51,950
Right. So I was just
lying on the ground or...
401
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:52,868
[both] No...
402
00:15:52,951 --> 00:15:54,244
You were in a crater.
403
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:56,038
You know, the way
you're talking in unison
404
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:57,790
makes this feel
kind of rehearsed.
405
00:15:57,873 --> 00:16:00,918
[both laughing]
It's not rehearsed, sweetie.
406
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:03,587
This is the true story
of your adoption.
407
00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:08,384
So my origin
is the exact same as Superman?
408
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,386
We don't know who that is.
409
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:11,345
[solemn music plays]
410
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,893
[Velma] Look, I'm simply
proposing we share Norville.
411
00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:21,355
I get him Monday, Wednesday,
Friday, and whenever
I have a casual whim.
412
00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:24,483
Velma, Norville isn't something
you share like a sandwich.
413
00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:26,235
Who shares a sandwich?
414
00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:28,445
Do you even know
what's going on with
his family right now?
415
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:31,240
What? Are their matching
Christmas pajamas
on back order?
416
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:33,617
Yes! But also... Sorry.
417
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:37,204
I promised Norville
that I wouldn't talk about it
with you.
418
00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:38,372
With me?
419
00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:40,082
But Norville
tells me everything.
420
00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:41,417
I have to go.
421
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,919
Norville would be mad
if you even knew I knew.
422
00:16:44,002 --> 00:16:44,920
[in sing-song voice] Bye!
423
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:48,674
Oh, wait. That!
424
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:52,010
-No, I know about that.
-Wait.
425
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:53,721
You do? He told you?
426
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:57,474
He did.
And honestly, I'm shocked
he told you, given...
427
00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:58,600
Given what?
428
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:01,311
You know. Your... you know.
429
00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:03,063
Are you sure
we're talking about
the same thing?
430
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:06,108
I haven't been this positive
since my scoliosis test,
431
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:07,860
but the only way
to know for sure
432
00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:10,487
is if we say it
at exactly the same time.
433
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,197
Well, that seems smart.
434
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:14,700
Dr. Edna Perdue
is your grandmother?
435
00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:17,828
You know my mom
went missing when she was
researching her house.
436
00:17:17,911 --> 00:17:19,747
Gigi, I swore you to secrecy.
437
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,957
You placed your hand
on your verified checkmark
and everything.
438
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:23,959
How could you tell Gigi
and not me?
439
00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:25,169
You tell me everything.
440
00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:26,837
I don't always listen,
but still.
441
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:28,213
I can't talk about this.
442
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:30,591
I never should have trusted
either of you.
443
00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:31,592
Norville.
444
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,011
[triumphant music playing]
445
00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:35,971
[all cheering]
446
00:17:36,054 --> 00:17:37,806
Oh, my God, Velma, I did it.
447
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,224
For the first time in my life,
448
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,143
I didn't bungle a task
so badly that
449
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:44,438
it needs to be covered up
by an Israeli security firm.
450
00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:45,397
-[thuds]
-[both shriek]
451
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:46,356
[all clamoring]
452
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:50,444
It's okay, it's okay.
453
00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:52,780
This is just what they call
Detroit style pizza.
454
00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:54,490
-[police siren blares]
-[Sheriff] Curfew time!
455
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,825
Last one inside
is a person of interest.
456
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,827
And now
it's basically Dominoes.
457
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,245
[wheels squeaking]
458
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:01,997
[all exclaiming]
459
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:04,333
Well, I tried,
but only got halfway there.
460
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:07,628
That's just me living up
to my label as a male feminist.
461
00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:09,338
Well, curfew started,
462
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,048
and you're stuck here
all night, Norville.
So spill it.
463
00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:13,467
How is my mom's disappearance
related to your grandma?
464
00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:15,010
I can't talk about it.
465
00:18:15,093 --> 00:18:16,929
I just learned about it
a few days ago,
466
00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:18,931
and the truth
could ruin my mom's life.
467
00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:20,599
Your mom's
a high school principal
468
00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:22,351
married to
a guidance counselor.
469
00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:23,769
It can't get
more ruined than that.
470
00:18:23,852 --> 00:18:25,062
-[crashing]
-[exclaims]
471
00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:26,021
What the hell!
472
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:31,819
Hey, I told you
not to mess up my house.
473
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:33,111
I'll be disowned.
474
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,863
And I'm too old
and mouthy to be adopted.
475
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:38,033
This is what happens
when we don't take our pills.
476
00:18:38,116 --> 00:18:41,370
We gotta feed these nerds now
or my house will be destroyed.
477
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,666
Wait, I found a bag of salad.
478
00:18:45,749 --> 00:18:47,084
Velma, don't.
479
00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:48,210
[Velma exclaims]
480
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:49,545
These are band nerds.
481
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:51,922
They subsist on energy drinks
and chips.
482
00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:54,049
You give them something green,
they could die.
483
00:18:54,132 --> 00:18:55,551
Well, if it has
to be unhealthy,
484
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:56,885
then what about Spooners?
485
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,304
The health inspector
called it "I quit"
486
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:02,474
Well, that could work,
but no one's allowed outside
right now.
487
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:03,934
-I am the mayor.
-[shot fires]
488
00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:05,310
[mayor groaning]
489
00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:06,395
Except for cops.
490
00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:10,148
Fred, you're a genius.
491
00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:12,067
Yes, I've finally helped you.
492
00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:14,069
So, are you into me now
or what?
493
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:17,239
We could take Daphne's moms'
cop car to Spooners
to get food there.
494
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:18,907
Unfortunately, I don't drive.
495
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,159
And Fred doesn't drive,
and Gigi doesn't drive.
496
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:24,580
And Norville, in light of
the recent revelation that
I take advantage of you,
497
00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:27,124
I couldn't expect you
to do this for me.
498
00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:29,877
So... Oh, well,
it was almost a good idea.
499
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,546
Guess my house
will just get destroyed.
500
00:19:32,629 --> 00:19:34,006
[Norville] No.
501
00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:35,883
-I'll do it.
-[Gigi] No!
502
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:39,386
Norville, I told you
if you do any more
simping for her,
503
00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:41,054
we're through.
504
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:43,682
Gigi, I am not doing this
because I'm simping for Velma.
505
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:46,351
I'm doing this
because it's the right thing
to do.
506
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:48,896
I'm simping for myself.
507
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,732
-Oh, yuck!
-Ugh!
508
00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:53,775
I just need someone
to get the keys to the car
from Daphne.
509
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,068
[objects clattering]
510
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:57,237
Me? But I do
everything around here.
511
00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:01,450
[mystical music playing]
512
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:03,619
Join us.
513
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:04,661
-[exclaims]
-[thuds]
514
00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:06,413
[cell phone ringing]
515
00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:07,998
Velma, finally!
516
00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:10,042
You're literally
the only person
I can talk to right now,
517
00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:12,294
-and I'm freaking out.
-[Velma] Okay, it's okay.
518
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:15,505
Calm down. I'm here,
and all I wanna do is help you.
519
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,424
-Really?
-[Velma] Yes.
520
00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:20,135
Immediately after you do me
a huge favor.
521
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:24,723
Thank you so much, Daphne,
522
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:26,725
and whatever's going on
with you, just put it in a text
523
00:20:26,808 --> 00:20:30,354
and I promise I'll give it
a thumbs up by Monday
at the earliest.
524
00:20:30,437 --> 00:20:31,521
[tires screeching]
525
00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:37,069
-[suspenseful music playing]
-Huh.
526
00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:40,822
[gasps]
527
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:49,164
All right,
let's get out of here.
528
00:20:49,247 --> 00:20:51,124
Those roaches are not happy
we're stealing their homes.
529
00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:53,085
Wait, hold on.
We need to go back.
530
00:20:53,168 --> 00:20:54,836
I wanna write an IOU
for the food.
531
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,421
There's no time!
You'll get caught.
532
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:57,798
Sorry, I have no choice.
533
00:20:57,881 --> 00:20:59,549
I mean, if we don't support
a small business
534
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:01,927
owned by a woman of color,
who will?
535
00:21:03,136 --> 00:21:04,513
Wow, Norville.
536
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,556
You're not just
a better friend than I am,
537
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,183
you're a better person.
538
00:21:08,266 --> 00:21:10,352
And I give homeless people
hella nickels.
539
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:12,104
-[police siren blares]
-[all exclaiming]
540
00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:15,399
So, I hear they're giving out
free Katy Perry tickets
541
00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:18,360
to serial killers
over at the police station.
542
00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:21,321
Sounds like a good deal.
You might wanna check it out.
543
00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:24,116
Oh, God, what are we gonna do?
I can't go back to jail.
544
00:21:24,199 --> 00:21:26,868
I still owe my cell mate
notes on his screenplay.
545
00:21:27,577 --> 00:21:28,453
[car approaching]
546
00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:30,288
[police siren blares]
547
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:33,709
Don't worry,
you guys head home.
548
00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:34,960
I'll distract Sheriff Cogburn.
549
00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:36,712
But, Velma,
you could go to jail.
550
00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:39,881
You'd hate it.
They spend an hour outdoors
every day.
551
00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:41,216
It's only for one night.
552
00:21:42,050 --> 00:21:43,301
And you'd do it for me.
553
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:47,097
Wow. Thanks.
554
00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:49,182
Just get out of here
before I change my mind.
555
00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:51,977
Wait! I changed my mind.
556
00:21:52,060 --> 00:21:53,895
Now I changed it back.
Go, quick.
557
00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:54,896
[rap music playing]
558
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,857
Hey! Hey, you there!
559
00:21:56,940 --> 00:21:57,941
[Velma] Hey, Cogburn.
560
00:21:58,025 --> 00:21:58,817
What the...
561
00:21:58,900 --> 00:22:00,318
I'm out past curfew,
562
00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:02,571
and I think
the movie Serpico is boring.
563
00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:03,905
What are you gonna do
about that?
564
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:05,532
-[tires screech]
-[Velma screams]
565
00:22:05,615 --> 00:22:06,616
Gotcha!
566
00:22:08,326 --> 00:22:09,828
[groaning]
567
00:22:18,587 --> 00:22:20,589
[gasps] Principal Rogers?
568
00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:22,549
Oh, my God,
I have to post this.
569
00:22:22,632 --> 00:22:25,552
What will it take for you
to not do that?
570
00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:33,393
[motor revs]
571
00:22:33,477 --> 00:22:34,978
[tour operator] Hello.
572
00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:37,439
Welcome to the Crystal Mines
Mining Experience.
573
00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:39,316
I'm Casey Kasem,
574
00:22:39,399 --> 00:22:42,778
here to guide you
through America's 40th
most popular mine.
575
00:22:45,405 --> 00:22:46,656
-[gasping]
-Oh, man.
576
00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:48,450
[Gigi] Oh, no. We're too late.
577
00:22:48,533 --> 00:22:49,785
-[exclaiming in horror]
-[thuds]
578
00:22:52,162 --> 00:22:53,705
[snoring]
579
00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:56,750
[Sheriff] Rise and shine!
You're all free to go.
580
00:22:56,833 --> 00:22:58,335
Since you didn't
post that picture,
581
00:22:58,418 --> 00:23:00,170
be in my office Monday morning.
582
00:23:00,253 --> 00:23:03,965
I'll tell you everything I know
about my mom, Dr. Edna Perdue.
583
00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:09,221
Great.
584
00:23:09,304 --> 00:23:10,806
Welcome home, Amanda.
585
00:23:10,889 --> 00:23:13,225
If you think
the outside is clean and tidy,
586
00:23:13,308 --> 00:23:14,976
you ain't seen nothing.
587
00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:17,145
Isn't that right, Velma?
588
00:23:18,105 --> 00:23:18,980
[whimpers]
589
00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:21,233
[gasps]
590
00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:22,234
What?
591
00:23:24,319 --> 00:23:25,445
[baby gurgling]
592
00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:28,031
-[Velma] Ugh!
-Oh, that's so cute.
593
00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:29,950
And don't worry,
Velma will clean it up.
594
00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:34,996
[band member] Dear Velma,
sorry the band made
such a mess.
595
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:38,667
Gigi wants you to know
that Norville did not clean
your house for you.
596
00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:41,920
Norville did, however, threaten
to shove our instruments
up our butts
597
00:23:42,003 --> 00:23:44,297
if we didn't clean it.
Musically, yours.
598
00:23:44,381 --> 00:23:46,007
The marching band.
599
00:23:46,091 --> 00:23:48,218
[Aman] Velma, what the hell
happened to your teeth?
600
00:23:58,728 --> 00:24:00,188
[Casey] This first factoid
601
00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:01,731
-goes out to Jenny L. in--
-[switches motor off]
602
00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:06,361
Welcome home, Daphne.
603
00:24:06,444 --> 00:24:09,197
I'm your mother, Caroll.
604
00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:12,659
And I'm your father, Darren.
605
00:24:12,742 --> 00:24:15,996
[Darren] And this is
the Crystal Mines Gang.
606
00:24:20,417 --> 00:24:21,710
-[bats screeching]
-[screams]
607
00:24:24,671 --> 00:24:25,922
Yeah, sorry.
608
00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:27,924
I'd be lying if I said
you'll get used to that.