1 00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:10,803 - Fucking stupid bitch. 2 00:00:10,845 --> 00:00:14,182 - Langston, Nina's calling you. - [coughs] 3 00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:15,725 Why? 4 00:00:15,767 --> 00:00:18,394 - I'm not talking about him, dummy. 5 00:00:18,436 --> 00:00:20,063 I'm talking about my mama. 6 00:00:20,104 --> 00:00:22,273 Like, she's been staying with us 7 00:00:22,315 --> 00:00:24,525 since the tree in the yard fell on her roof, 8 00:00:24,567 --> 00:00:26,944 and, like, she's just all in my space, 9 00:00:26,986 --> 00:00:28,863 getting on my fucking nerves. 10 00:00:28,905 --> 00:00:31,783 - Yeah. Nina's mom is wild. 11 00:00:31,824 --> 00:00:34,577 She be making the Cinnabons with the orange icing. 12 00:00:34,619 --> 00:00:36,621 - Hmm. - Them shits is weird. 13 00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:40,875 Like, I eat 'em, but I don't like 'em. 14 00:00:40,917 --> 00:00:42,710 - Yeah. - Right. 15 00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:46,839 - Me and my mom are cool, bro. We like Young Thug and Gunna. 16 00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:49,967 Like, she birthed me, but we be fucking the same hoes. 17 00:00:50,009 --> 00:00:51,010 - Ooh. 18 00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:52,637 - Metaphorically. 19 00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:54,639 She's shy. - Still doesn't sound right. 20 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,891 - Me and my mom got a good thing going, too, man. 21 00:00:56,933 --> 00:00:58,476 You know, like, it didn't matter, like, 22 00:00:58,518 --> 00:00:59,977 what my grades were 23 00:01:00,019 --> 00:01:03,398 or, like, what shade my doodoo stains was. 24 00:01:03,439 --> 00:01:04,732 Man, my mama was always saying 25 00:01:04,774 --> 00:01:06,317 I was the best dancer in the world. 26 00:01:06,359 --> 00:01:07,610 The best, motherfucker. 27 00:01:07,652 --> 00:01:08,820 - You are good, though. 28 00:01:08,861 --> 00:01:10,655 - Best in the world, nigga. - Boom, boom. 29 00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:12,156 - Oh, oh, oh. - Kill it. 30 00:01:12,198 --> 00:01:15,034 - Come on. Come on. You smoking with a king, nigga. 31 00:01:15,076 --> 00:01:16,786 - Just pass it to me regular. 32 00:01:16,828 --> 00:01:18,871 - Oh, ain't nothing regular about me, nigga. 33 00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,206 Look at this. 34 00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:21,833 - [laughs] - I gotta be honest. 35 00:01:21,874 --> 00:01:23,626 My parents are weird too. 36 00:01:23,668 --> 00:01:26,587 When I graduated, they moved to LA to pursue theirdreams. 37 00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:28,673 - Good for them, man. - Oh, damn. 38 00:01:28,715 --> 00:01:31,342 - I'm just saying, like, I don't like my mama at all. 39 00:01:31,384 --> 00:01:35,304 - Yeah, dude. They beefing for real. 40 00:01:35,346 --> 00:01:37,432 And she be trying to small-talk with me. 41 00:01:37,473 --> 00:01:39,392 It's like, "Damn, can a nigga go to the fridge 42 00:01:39,434 --> 00:01:40,935 real quick, lady?" 43 00:01:40,977 --> 00:01:42,353 - Okay, but--but--but--but 44 00:01:42,395 --> 00:01:45,815 I think, Nina, you should just be grateful 45 00:01:45,857 --> 00:01:48,526 that you have a good, churchgoing mother. 46 00:01:48,568 --> 00:01:52,697 - Nah. Fuck that. Fuck all of that. 47 00:01:52,739 --> 00:01:54,365 I don't like nobody like that lady, 48 00:01:54,407 --> 00:01:56,367 and I'ma say it, baby. 49 00:01:56,409 --> 00:01:58,453 Fuck her and that church. 50 00:01:58,494 --> 00:02:00,538 all: Whoa. - Damn! 51 00:02:00,580 --> 00:02:02,415 - Lady, have you ever heard of a bible? 52 00:02:02,457 --> 00:02:04,167 - Whoa. - Yep. 53 00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:05,543 - All right, y'all ready? - Yeah. 54 00:02:05,585 --> 00:02:06,794 - You good? - Let's do it. 55 00:02:06,836 --> 00:02:08,880 - Yeah. I'm good. - No, no, put it out. 56 00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:10,506 Put it out. Throw it on the ground. 57 00:02:10,548 --> 00:02:12,800 - Come on, man. This is good weed. 58 00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:14,427 [bright tone] 59 00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:19,098 [gospel music] 60 00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:23,061 * * 61 00:02:23,102 --> 00:02:26,230 - Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Who's here? 62 00:02:26,272 --> 00:02:27,732 [laughing] Hey. 63 00:02:27,774 --> 00:02:29,984 There she is. - Oh, that's my baby. 64 00:02:30,026 --> 00:02:31,486 - Oh, Miss Noreen. 65 00:02:31,527 --> 00:02:34,781 - [laughs] You. Praise the lord. 66 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:38,242 Oh, here come trouble. - Ah, yeah, it's here. 67 00:02:38,284 --> 00:02:40,286 - Hey. You so--how you do-- 68 00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:41,913 - Uh-huh. Good to see you this morning. 69 00:02:41,954 --> 00:02:43,873 - Okay. - Have a seat, sweetie. 70 00:02:43,915 --> 00:02:47,668 - All right. Okay. - Yellow dress? 71 00:02:49,087 --> 00:02:51,714 - Okay, so she trying me today. 72 00:02:51,756 --> 00:02:53,466 Move over. Move. 73 00:02:53,508 --> 00:02:55,134 Let's not make a scene. Let's not make a scene. 74 00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:56,928 - Jesus Christ. - What the heck? 75 00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:59,514 Are the police coming? - Just about. Just sit on down. 76 00:02:59,555 --> 00:03:02,892 You know, just--you know, it's just some stuff going on. 77 00:03:02,934 --> 00:03:04,519 She trying me. 78 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,897 - Oh, what a friend we have in Jesus, right? 79 00:03:07,939 --> 00:03:10,817 - [inaudible whispering] 80 00:03:14,153 --> 00:03:16,406 - [inaudible] 81 00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:18,032 - [inhales sharply] 82 00:03:18,074 --> 00:03:20,201 [inaudible] 83 00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:22,245 - [groans] 84 00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:24,288 [inaudible] 85 00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:26,207 - Christian love. Christian love. 86 00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:27,458 - Um, okay. 87 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:30,211 Nina, this didn't come from me, 88 00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:33,214 but some people are saying 89 00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:35,883 you could do a little less. 90 00:03:35,925 --> 00:03:39,637 - [whispering] It looks cheap. Like a whore. 91 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:44,559 I said, "Like a whore." - [hums] 92 00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:48,688 - I'm gonna take that wig off and just smack a egg 93 00:03:48,730 --> 00:03:50,732 on top of her head, and then put the wig back on. 94 00:03:50,773 --> 00:03:52,316 Make her wig get all eggy. 95 00:03:52,358 --> 00:03:55,194 - Hey, hey, hey. We gotta keep composed. 96 00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:56,946 It's supposed to be a good day. 97 00:03:56,988 --> 00:03:58,948 I used to love coming to church with my mother 98 00:03:58,990 --> 00:04:01,659 because that's how I found my people. 99 00:04:01,701 --> 00:04:03,953 - Choir directors? - What? No. 100 00:04:03,995 --> 00:04:05,997 - Oh. - The gossipy old ladies. 101 00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:08,458 I just love 'em with their thick stockings 102 00:04:08,499 --> 00:04:12,336 and their rumors of people's fetishes and foreclosures. 103 00:04:12,378 --> 00:04:13,838 Ooh, they're the best. 104 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,339 I can't wait till they get here today. 105 00:04:15,381 --> 00:04:17,091 Where they at? 106 00:04:17,133 --> 00:04:18,718 - Bless your mother. 107 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,763 God must have been in a good mood when he made her. 108 00:04:21,804 --> 00:04:23,056 - Mm-hmm. 109 00:04:23,097 --> 00:04:25,892 - It's a shame that that tree fell on her roof. 110 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:29,896 I hate to see somebody so thick under so much turmoil. 111 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:32,815 I hope that stress don't make her lose no weight. 112 00:04:32,857 --> 00:04:35,026 - Thank you, sir. - I just want you to know 113 00:04:35,068 --> 00:04:38,988 that I'm personally doubling my donation 114 00:04:39,030 --> 00:04:42,950 to help a legendary woman in her time of need. 115 00:04:42,992 --> 00:04:44,702 - Mm. - Is she being comforted? 116 00:04:44,744 --> 00:04:47,622 - You know what, sir? I-- - She the best. 117 00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:50,625 You lucky. Be happy. Smile. 118 00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:56,422 * * 119 00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:59,759 - Ah, dude gotta be playing. 120 00:04:59,801 --> 00:05:01,803 - You talking about that sweaty pastor? 121 00:05:01,844 --> 00:05:03,429 - Yeah, man. All these people here. 122 00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:05,098 Ain't no time to be nervous, dog. 123 00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,849 You gotta show up, bruh. 124 00:05:06,891 --> 00:05:08,893 - Okay, Chris. I mean, come on. 125 00:05:08,935 --> 00:05:12,230 Plenty of people get nervous in front of crowds. 126 00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:14,232 - Then don't take the gig. 127 00:05:14,273 --> 00:05:16,859 Everybody knows only two places Black people get on. 128 00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:18,653 It's the church and the strip club, 129 00:05:18,694 --> 00:05:20,613 and since I'm banned from Smokey's on the East Side, 130 00:05:20,655 --> 00:05:22,407 church gonna have to do. 131 00:05:22,448 --> 00:05:24,575 - Ah, you got banned again, huh? 132 00:05:24,617 --> 00:05:26,536 - Man, they was tripping, okay? 133 00:05:26,577 --> 00:05:27,912 Remember when Nelly slid that credit card 134 00:05:27,954 --> 00:05:29,580 down a girl booty for that video? 135 00:05:29,622 --> 00:05:31,624 - Uh, yeah. - I did the same thing. 136 00:05:31,666 --> 00:05:34,001 I used the chip, though, 'cause I'm in the future. 137 00:05:34,043 --> 00:05:37,880 - So...so Chip Drill? - Mm-hmm. 138 00:05:37,922 --> 00:05:39,757 - Yeah. Chip Drill will get you banned. 139 00:05:39,799 --> 00:05:41,551 - And make your credit card all dirty. 140 00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:43,511 Smelled like different stuff 141 00:05:43,553 --> 00:05:47,932 for a loooong time. 142 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,936 - Gross. 143 00:05:51,978 --> 00:05:54,731 - Hey, I just wish you can take her! 144 00:05:54,772 --> 00:05:57,859 - Okay, what we not gonna do is talk to the devil. 145 00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,777 If you feel yourself about to snap, 146 00:05:59,819 --> 00:06:01,612 just mumble that mess to me. 147 00:06:01,654 --> 00:06:02,989 I'm your confession booth. 148 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,824 - But I don't feel that with you right now. 149 00:06:04,866 --> 00:06:06,784 Like, I ain't feeling that with you. 150 00:06:06,826 --> 00:06:09,662 - First off, fuck your bitch and the click you claim. 151 00:06:09,704 --> 00:06:10,955 - Now, here you go with that. 152 00:06:10,997 --> 00:06:12,248 - Come on. - Like, you don't-- 153 00:06:12,290 --> 00:06:13,666 - Westside when we ride. 154 00:06:13,708 --> 00:06:15,251 - I don't feel like it, Sam. Like, I'm done. 155 00:06:15,293 --> 00:06:18,046 - Baby, Westside when we ride. 156 00:06:19,297 --> 00:06:20,673 - Come equipped with game. 157 00:06:20,715 --> 00:06:23,426 - See? Don't you feel better? 158 00:06:23,468 --> 00:06:24,802 Your mom staying at our house 159 00:06:24,844 --> 00:06:26,637 is keeping us from having loud sex, 160 00:06:26,679 --> 00:06:28,639 and that's enough for me to want her gone forever. 161 00:06:28,681 --> 00:06:29,932 - Yeah, but I just wish 162 00:06:29,974 --> 00:06:31,768 that she could just, like, steal something, 163 00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,853 and then she can go to jail for the rest of her life. 164 00:06:33,895 --> 00:06:36,606 - The easiest way to get her out the house 165 00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:38,691 is to help the church raise the money 166 00:06:38,733 --> 00:06:41,027 to fix her roof, a'ight? 167 00:06:42,195 --> 00:06:43,488 - Yeah, a'ight. 168 00:06:43,529 --> 00:06:44,864 - And if you wanna pop off, 169 00:06:44,906 --> 00:06:47,241 remember, we always have Pac. 170 00:06:48,743 --> 00:06:53,122 - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We always got Pac, huh? 171 00:06:53,164 --> 00:06:55,625 Yeah, yeah, yeah, 'cause that's why I like my dad more, 172 00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:57,126 you fat motherfucker! 173 00:06:57,168 --> 00:06:58,503 Gunna-ka-pow! 174 00:06:58,544 --> 00:07:00,630 Airing this bitch out right now. 175 00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,215 You know what I'm saying? Where your mama at? 176 00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:03,674 She on the ground. She down. 177 00:07:03,716 --> 00:07:05,009 - You need to relax. 178 00:07:05,051 --> 00:07:06,844 Just shooting guns and grabbing your willy, 179 00:07:06,886 --> 00:07:08,346 and you don't even have a willy? 180 00:07:08,388 --> 00:07:09,764 - * Oh, ooh * 181 00:07:09,806 --> 00:07:11,349 - Today is gonna be a long one, child. 182 00:07:11,391 --> 00:07:12,475 - Ooh, lord. 183 00:07:12,517 --> 00:07:13,684 - Ain't no way 184 00:07:13,726 --> 00:07:15,645 little Elray know what he doing up there. 185 00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:17,980 - Mm. Disgracing his whole family. 186 00:07:18,022 --> 00:07:19,941 - And y'all see them big old pants, right? 187 00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:21,609 [laughs] I mean, come on. 188 00:07:21,651 --> 00:07:25,321 He look like Donnie McClurkin wearing a Marvin Sapp suit. 189 00:07:25,363 --> 00:07:26,739 [laughter] 190 00:07:26,781 --> 00:07:30,701 - Well, I heard someone saw him 191 00:07:30,743 --> 00:07:35,039 walking in the gay part of the park. 192 00:07:35,081 --> 00:07:36,958 [laughter] 193 00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:39,377 - Hey, I bet they heard them big ol' pants coming. 194 00:07:39,419 --> 00:07:41,504 [laughter] - Shh. Shh. Shh. 195 00:07:41,546 --> 00:07:43,381 - All right, hey. 196 00:07:43,423 --> 00:07:45,133 - * Da, da, da, da, ba-da * 197 00:07:45,174 --> 00:07:46,592 * Ba-ooh * 198 00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:49,554 Yo, it's the collection basket with the extendo on it. 199 00:07:49,595 --> 00:07:50,680 Let me-- both: No! 200 00:07:50,722 --> 00:07:52,014 - Okay. 201 00:07:52,056 --> 00:07:54,600 - Touching that would be ill-advised. 202 00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:58,062 - Only a select few may handle that which you wish to hold. 203 00:07:58,104 --> 00:08:00,148 - That's chill. That's chill. 204 00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:02,150 You know, I used to use these back in the day. 205 00:08:02,191 --> 00:08:04,694 - Well, I suppose at some point you must... 206 00:08:04,736 --> 00:08:07,155 both: Do away with childish things. 207 00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:10,158 - Right... yeah, I used to hate church. 208 00:08:10,199 --> 00:08:11,284 My mom used to take me all the time, 209 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:13,035 and then she let me be a collection boy. 210 00:08:13,077 --> 00:08:15,037 That was sick. I used to have-- swing a little stick around. 211 00:08:15,079 --> 00:08:17,290 Everybody was, like, all hating and shit. It was tight. 212 00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:19,834 - We don't give a freak what you was. 213 00:08:19,876 --> 00:08:22,086 both: Or when you was. 214 00:08:22,128 --> 00:08:23,421 - Okay? 215 00:08:23,463 --> 00:08:26,507 - Do you hear this guy, Mason? - I do, Mayshon. 216 00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,426 - Why are y'all eyes so milky? 217 00:08:28,468 --> 00:08:31,387 - Why don't you go pass out some pamphlets, you Philistine? 218 00:08:31,429 --> 00:08:33,181 - We won't ask you again. 219 00:08:33,222 --> 00:08:34,891 - [laughs] 220 00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:36,934 All right, little niggas. I'ma go ahead and grab this, 221 00:08:36,976 --> 00:08:39,145 'cause I don't really listen to anybody, so-- 222 00:08:39,187 --> 00:08:41,105 - [grunts] 223 00:08:42,732 --> 00:08:44,442 - You're too old for this game. 224 00:08:44,484 --> 00:08:46,152 - It's our time now. 225 00:08:46,194 --> 00:08:48,196 [both cackle] 226 00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:50,782 [gospel singing] 227 00:08:50,823 --> 00:08:53,659 [all clapping rhythmically] 228 00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:57,330 [applause] 229 00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:59,165 - Okay. Choir set the tone. 230 00:08:59,207 --> 00:09:01,250 Plenty of room to do flips in here. 231 00:09:01,292 --> 00:09:04,212 It's a star-making situation. He better kill it. 232 00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:07,173 [applause] 233 00:09:08,841 --> 00:09:10,176 [crowd oohs] 234 00:09:10,218 --> 00:09:11,636 This nigga. 235 00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:14,055 - [chuckles] - Bruh. 236 00:09:14,097 --> 00:09:16,015 - Sit down, brother. Sit down. 237 00:09:16,057 --> 00:09:18,726 No. Don't look at me. Don't make a big deal. 238 00:09:18,768 --> 00:09:20,311 [clears throat] 239 00:09:20,353 --> 00:09:23,314 I guess the Lord must have put a little extra carpet there. 240 00:09:23,356 --> 00:09:25,483 [person clears throat] 241 00:09:25,525 --> 00:09:28,820 - Dear Jesus, heavenly father in the manger and whatnot, 242 00:09:28,861 --> 00:09:31,489 uh, is this your mans? Hmm? 243 00:09:31,531 --> 00:09:34,575 - With bowed heads... 244 00:09:34,617 --> 00:09:37,412 and bowed--and bowed hearts, 245 00:09:37,453 --> 00:09:40,415 uh, we come to you today, Lord God, uh, 246 00:09:40,456 --> 00:09:45,169 and we ask for, um, protection, Lord God, 247 00:09:45,211 --> 00:09:47,380 and not--and not--and not just protection for us, 248 00:09:47,422 --> 00:09:50,258 but for all of your children, Lord God. 249 00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:54,470 And, uh, we, um, uh, we--we do want you to-- 250 00:09:54,512 --> 00:09:56,431 even--all the children. 251 00:09:56,472 --> 00:09:58,015 The people in Israel even, 252 00:09:58,057 --> 00:10:01,102 and I--it's-- [stammering] 253 00:10:01,144 --> 00:10:02,729 I like the new "Wonder Woman." 254 00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:05,189 She's from over there, I--I think. 255 00:10:05,231 --> 00:10:07,191 she--I'm pretty sure-- I mean, honestly, 256 00:10:07,233 --> 00:10:09,777 if I'm--I'll keep it real with you today. 257 00:10:09,819 --> 00:10:12,196 I--I'm a Lynda Carter man myself, 258 00:10:12,238 --> 00:10:16,993 but, uh, who amongst us has not... 259 00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:19,078 [person coughs] 260 00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:20,496 Amen. 261 00:10:20,538 --> 00:10:22,874 [crowd muttering] - No. 262 00:10:22,915 --> 00:10:24,751 - It's--it's--it's hot, okay? 263 00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:27,253 And I'ma go get some water real fast, uh, 264 00:10:27,295 --> 00:10:30,506 and y'all should greet your neighbors while I'm doing that. 265 00:10:30,548 --> 00:10:33,885 - Look, baby, if we talk your mom up in God's house, 266 00:10:33,926 --> 00:10:35,261 she'll get out of our house. 267 00:10:35,303 --> 00:10:37,221 - You're right. You're right. We can do this. 268 00:10:37,263 --> 00:10:39,057 - Plus, we gotta keep our faith in God, 269 00:10:39,098 --> 00:10:40,475 you know what I'm saying, 'cause I'm tired of finding 270 00:10:40,516 --> 00:10:42,226 "Mission: Impossible" movies to knock boots to. 271 00:10:42,268 --> 00:10:44,395 - Yeah, "Ghost Protocol" is the loudest, 272 00:10:44,437 --> 00:10:45,730 but it's not the best. 273 00:10:45,772 --> 00:10:47,440 - Y'all sleeping on "Jurassic Park." 274 00:10:47,482 --> 00:10:51,569 Them dinosaurs ain't got no protocol. 275 00:10:51,611 --> 00:10:52,904 - Thanks. 276 00:10:52,945 --> 00:10:55,490 - My mother would never tell anybody this. 277 00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:56,657 So much pride, baby. 278 00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:58,201 - Too much. Too much. - Yeah. 279 00:10:58,242 --> 00:11:01,079 She lost a valuable collection 280 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,164 of PT Cruiser paraphernalia. 281 00:11:03,206 --> 00:11:05,124 - Tell him. - Keychains. 282 00:11:05,166 --> 00:11:07,001 - Mm. - Posters. 283 00:11:07,043 --> 00:11:08,920 - Mm-mm. - Shot glasses. 284 00:11:08,961 --> 00:11:11,047 - Mm-mm-mm. - Everything. 285 00:11:11,089 --> 00:11:14,300 It is tragic, really. 286 00:11:14,342 --> 00:11:15,885 - Lord... - Yeah. It's okay. 287 00:11:15,927 --> 00:11:17,887 - Why'd you take the bumper stickers, Jesus? 288 00:11:17,929 --> 00:11:20,098 - And I know you liked those. I'm so sorry. 289 00:11:20,139 --> 00:11:23,267 [gospel music playing] 290 00:11:23,309 --> 00:11:25,144 * * 291 00:11:25,186 --> 00:11:28,314 [suspenseful music] 292 00:11:28,356 --> 00:11:31,359 * * 293 00:11:31,401 --> 00:11:33,653 - [growls] 294 00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:36,614 [gospel music continues] 295 00:11:36,656 --> 00:11:38,366 * * 296 00:11:38,408 --> 00:11:40,368 - Hey, if y'all don't see me for a while, 297 00:11:40,410 --> 00:11:42,537 just know I'm in some wild shit. 298 00:11:44,414 --> 00:11:47,834 - Ooh-wee, I don't know if y'all heard, 299 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:50,628 but Seymour been messing around on Teisha. 300 00:11:50,670 --> 00:11:53,923 Oh, and li'l Melvin big self still in the eighth grade, 301 00:11:53,965 --> 00:11:55,925 but his mama telling everybody he passed. 302 00:11:55,967 --> 00:11:57,760 Oh, but apparently, 303 00:11:57,802 --> 00:11:59,429 Brother James got caught in his car 304 00:11:59,470 --> 00:12:00,763 with a bunch of fentanyl, 305 00:12:00,805 --> 00:12:02,348 and that's why his teeth so little. 306 00:12:02,390 --> 00:12:05,143 - Dude, stay away from those old ladies, man. 307 00:12:05,184 --> 00:12:07,353 You being a thot, and it's weird. 308 00:12:07,395 --> 00:12:09,814 - Yeah, and my mama is one of those women. 309 00:12:09,856 --> 00:12:12,024 Trust me. You don't want to do that. 310 00:12:12,066 --> 00:12:13,651 - I'm not gonna trust you, Nina, 311 00:12:13,693 --> 00:12:16,779 because you and your mother have a terrible relationship. 312 00:12:16,821 --> 00:12:18,322 Everybody knows it. 313 00:12:18,364 --> 00:12:21,617 Now, look, me and the God squad, we good. 314 00:12:21,659 --> 00:12:24,328 Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go help them 315 00:12:24,370 --> 00:12:26,956 get chlorine from their cars for the baptism. 316 00:12:29,125 --> 00:12:30,835 - This woman has a heart of gold. 317 00:12:30,877 --> 00:12:32,045 - Oh, hush, Clara. 318 00:12:32,086 --> 00:12:33,171 - I will not. 319 00:12:33,212 --> 00:12:34,505 My car was broke down 320 00:12:34,547 --> 00:12:37,091 on the side of the road, and it was raining. 321 00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:40,386 When AAA took all day, she rolled up her sleeves 322 00:12:40,428 --> 00:12:43,514 and fixed my car right then and there. 323 00:12:43,556 --> 00:12:45,892 - That was the first time 324 00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:49,645 I laid my hands on a Plymouth Prowler. 325 00:12:49,687 --> 00:12:52,857 [laughs] 326 00:12:52,899 --> 00:12:56,402 Best night of my life. 327 00:12:56,444 --> 00:12:59,655 - Wait, wait, that was also my birthday that night. 328 00:12:59,697 --> 00:13:01,866 - Girl, ain't nobody thinking about your birthday. 329 00:13:01,908 --> 00:13:03,951 My friend was left in the rain. 330 00:13:03,993 --> 00:13:06,079 [laughs] 331 00:13:11,584 --> 00:13:13,044 - Hey, y'all, if y'all need any magazines, 332 00:13:13,086 --> 00:13:14,921 talk to li'l Amira and Aaliyah, okay? 333 00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:16,756 Them girls need to be supported. 334 00:13:16,798 --> 00:13:18,674 They're trying to go to Honduras to build canoes 335 00:13:18,716 --> 00:13:20,051 in the fall, okay? 336 00:13:20,093 --> 00:13:23,388 It's hot. Is Tuan still doing HVAC? 337 00:13:24,222 --> 00:13:26,099 - No, no, no, no, Jesus. You right. You right. 338 00:13:26,140 --> 00:13:28,559 But I don't got no tomatoes on me to throw at him, 339 00:13:28,601 --> 00:13:29,602 Jesus, Lord God. 340 00:13:29,644 --> 00:13:31,145 You didn't give me none. 341 00:13:31,187 --> 00:13:33,356 All right, well, since I can't shoot the messenger, 342 00:13:33,398 --> 00:13:34,649 I'll replace him. 343 00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:36,776 - All right, y'all, before we get to the word, 344 00:13:36,818 --> 00:13:40,738 we gonna--we gonna invite up the lovely Noreen-- 345 00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:43,491 [applause] 346 00:13:43,533 --> 00:13:47,036 No. Noreen's daughter. Noreen's daughter, y'all. 347 00:13:47,078 --> 00:13:49,872 Yes, Nina's gonna come up here and tell us about the situation 348 00:13:49,914 --> 00:13:51,124 that her mama's going through. 349 00:13:51,165 --> 00:13:52,583 - I'm not doing that. 350 00:13:52,625 --> 00:13:54,335 She got a beard and her pantyhose stank. 351 00:13:54,377 --> 00:13:55,962 Do you want me to say that in the microphone? 352 00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:58,673 - Come on, baby. You're our only hope, okay? 353 00:13:58,715 --> 00:14:00,717 You just gotta think of something nice to say, 354 00:14:00,758 --> 00:14:04,095 like she didn't smoke while she was pregnant with you. 355 00:14:04,137 --> 00:14:07,724 - She did, though. Look at my little hands. 356 00:14:07,765 --> 00:14:10,518 - Damn. - Right? 357 00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:13,020 - All right. I'll do it. 358 00:14:13,062 --> 00:14:15,064 - Thank you. 359 00:14:15,106 --> 00:14:16,774 - As you can imagine, 360 00:14:16,816 --> 00:14:20,486 Nina is under quite a bit of emotional distress, 361 00:14:20,528 --> 00:14:23,156 so I'm going to be speaking on her behalf. 362 00:14:23,197 --> 00:14:25,533 - Okay, it looks like we got Nina's roommate 363 00:14:25,575 --> 00:14:27,785 coming up here to share with us. 364 00:14:27,827 --> 00:14:29,454 Okay. Come on up here, sister. 365 00:14:29,495 --> 00:14:32,290 [applause] 366 00:14:32,331 --> 00:14:36,586 - Uh, what can I say about Ms. Noreen? 367 00:14:36,627 --> 00:14:41,424 She's, uh, many things. - So many things, Lord. 368 00:14:41,466 --> 00:14:43,593 - A whole lotta things. Lot of things. 369 00:14:43,634 --> 00:14:46,179 She's, uh--she's-- she's present. 370 00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,389 Very, very present. 371 00:14:48,431 --> 00:14:50,141 Wherever I--like, wherever I'm walking, 372 00:14:50,183 --> 00:14:51,309 she's right there. 373 00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:53,478 - So many sets of footprints, Lord. 374 00:14:53,519 --> 00:14:55,063 - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 375 00:14:55,104 --> 00:14:58,107 There are times when she's not present, 376 00:14:58,149 --> 00:14:59,984 but I know that's the devil tricking me, 377 00:15:00,026 --> 00:15:02,361 because she shows up again. 378 00:15:02,403 --> 00:15:04,822 - Begone, Satan. Stop that. 379 00:15:04,864 --> 00:15:07,366 - Some nights, I lay awake 380 00:15:07,408 --> 00:15:11,162 craving, yearning, howling 381 00:15:11,204 --> 00:15:13,873 for Noreen to have her house again. 382 00:15:13,915 --> 00:15:15,625 I am hurting for it, Lord. 383 00:15:15,666 --> 00:15:20,338 I am bursting with desire for Noreen to have a home 384 00:15:20,380 --> 00:15:23,257 or somewhere else to sleep. [phone chimes] 385 00:15:23,299 --> 00:15:26,302 I wake up wet, lord. Mm. 386 00:15:26,344 --> 00:15:28,971 With--with-- with tears and stuff. 387 00:15:29,013 --> 00:15:32,642 Wipe me down, King Jesus. God, please. 388 00:15:32,683 --> 00:15:34,685 Uh... 389 00:15:36,229 --> 00:15:39,941 What--what--what I'm saying is, give big 390 00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:43,569 so I can get some p-peace, or a p-- 391 00:15:43,611 --> 00:15:44,904 [crowd muttering] 392 00:15:44,946 --> 00:15:46,572 [scattered applause] 393 00:15:46,614 --> 00:15:48,991 - [coughs] Uh, she, uh-- 394 00:15:49,033 --> 00:15:51,160 uh, she worse than me, huh? 395 00:15:51,202 --> 00:15:53,037 [chuckles] 396 00:15:53,079 --> 00:15:56,165 - I have a testimony, big suit bastard. 397 00:15:56,207 --> 00:15:58,126 Excuse me. 398 00:15:58,167 --> 00:16:00,253 Huh-huh. Uh-oh. 399 00:16:00,294 --> 00:16:02,004 God wanted me to tell y'all 400 00:16:02,046 --> 00:16:03,756 how I became a quadruple threat, 401 00:16:03,798 --> 00:16:06,551 and I'ma fulfill his wishes through acting. 402 00:16:06,592 --> 00:16:09,053 [chuckles] To be or not to be? 403 00:16:09,095 --> 00:16:10,471 Dance. 404 00:16:10,513 --> 00:16:14,016 Oh, what disciple is this? 405 00:16:14,058 --> 00:16:16,018 Praise. Halleloo. 406 00:16:16,060 --> 00:16:18,146 You're knighted, my guy. 407 00:16:18,187 --> 00:16:19,313 And, of course... 408 00:16:19,355 --> 00:16:25,528 [riffing] * Singing * 409 00:16:25,570 --> 00:16:27,780 You can go ahead and move, little sweaty man. 410 00:16:27,822 --> 00:16:30,116 [laughs] "Deuteromety." 411 00:16:30,158 --> 00:16:32,952 Why does "Deuteromety" have nothing to do with doodoo, huh? 412 00:16:32,994 --> 00:16:34,287 Huh? 413 00:16:34,328 --> 00:16:37,957 - Okay. Let's get this chlorine, girls. 414 00:16:37,999 --> 00:16:39,834 We got a baptism to do. 415 00:16:39,876 --> 00:16:42,962 These are heavy. You got the big ones, huh? 416 00:16:43,004 --> 00:16:45,423 A little loose here. - Dang. 417 00:16:45,465 --> 00:16:48,176 Them calves fitting to bust out like a can of biscuits. 418 00:16:48,217 --> 00:16:50,053 Mmm! - Hey, hey, hey. 419 00:16:50,094 --> 00:16:51,304 Don't get fresh, Eunice. 420 00:16:51,345 --> 00:16:52,889 - Mm-mm. - You know better than that. 421 00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:54,766 Hey, did y'all see Jonathan in there, though? 422 00:16:54,807 --> 00:16:57,727 Now, why would you put on Wave Runners with a suit? 423 00:16:57,769 --> 00:17:01,481 - Mmm, them things are looking scrumptious. 424 00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:04,233 Y'all about to have to get Langston to sop me up. 425 00:17:04,275 --> 00:17:05,777 - [giggles] - What I would do 426 00:17:05,818 --> 00:17:08,738 is have two Langstons, butter in the middle. 427 00:17:08,780 --> 00:17:10,323 Yum yum. [laughter] 428 00:17:10,364 --> 00:17:11,407 - Where's the meat? 429 00:17:11,449 --> 00:17:12,658 - Right in front of me. 430 00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:14,285 Now, stop asking all those questions 431 00:17:14,327 --> 00:17:16,329 and give Helen a little twirl. 432 00:17:16,370 --> 00:17:18,081 - Come on. Come on. 433 00:17:18,122 --> 00:17:21,000 all: Ooh! 434 00:17:21,042 --> 00:17:22,418 - No, no, no, no! That's enough. 435 00:17:22,460 --> 00:17:24,212 - Arf. Arf. - No. Don't bark at me. 436 00:17:24,253 --> 00:17:25,755 Don't bark at me. [laughter] 437 00:17:25,797 --> 00:17:28,216 Okay, you've had your fun, but-- 438 00:17:28,257 --> 00:17:30,426 but I'm tired and I'm scared. 439 00:17:30,468 --> 00:17:33,304 Can we please just go back inside? 440 00:17:33,346 --> 00:17:35,765 - I have an inside you can come in. 441 00:17:35,807 --> 00:17:37,058 both: Oh! 442 00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:38,976 [laughter] 443 00:17:39,018 --> 00:17:40,603 [gospel music] 444 00:17:40,645 --> 00:17:43,314 - * Jak is an adult man * 445 00:17:43,356 --> 00:17:46,526 * Got his ass whooped by baby twins * 446 00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:48,945 * So he threw a Kangol hat * 447 00:17:48,986 --> 00:17:50,613 * Right on a stick * 448 00:17:50,655 --> 00:17:53,783 * Threw caution to the wind * 449 00:17:53,825 --> 00:17:56,869 * With a twist of the wrist, he'll swing his stick * 450 00:17:56,911 --> 00:17:58,454 - Shling! Craa! 451 00:17:58,496 --> 00:18:00,540 That's what I would have done to Judas. 452 00:18:00,581 --> 00:18:01,958 [chuckles] 453 00:18:01,999 --> 00:18:03,835 And now, for a poem I wrote 454 00:18:03,876 --> 00:18:05,628 entitled "Bald Samson." 455 00:18:05,670 --> 00:18:07,004 Bald, but strong. 456 00:18:07,046 --> 00:18:09,507 No hair up there! 457 00:18:09,549 --> 00:18:10,967 It's thinning in the middle. 458 00:18:11,008 --> 00:18:13,302 It's thinning in the middle, but you still strong. 459 00:18:13,344 --> 00:18:15,805 - The Lord told me to tell this-- 460 00:18:15,847 --> 00:18:18,975 tell this dumb Negro to sit down. 461 00:18:19,016 --> 00:18:22,103 [crowd laughs] 462 00:18:22,145 --> 00:18:24,647 - [coughs] Jesus said that? 463 00:18:24,689 --> 00:18:27,150 - Yeah, he also told me to stop letting ashy sinners 464 00:18:27,191 --> 00:18:28,568 talk during the service. 465 00:18:28,609 --> 00:18:31,028 [laughter] 466 00:18:31,070 --> 00:18:32,488 [applause] 467 00:18:32,530 --> 00:18:34,657 Y'all gonna get mad at me if I get real here? 468 00:18:34,699 --> 00:18:36,576 [crowd chattering] - Get real, Pastor. 469 00:18:36,617 --> 00:18:39,495 - I said are y'all gonna be mad at me if I get real up here? 470 00:18:39,537 --> 00:18:42,123 - Get real. Come on. [crowd chattering] 471 00:18:42,165 --> 00:18:45,334 - Now, we all know Mary Magdalene was a skeezer, 472 00:18:45,376 --> 00:18:47,837 but her OnlyFan was Jesus. 473 00:18:47,879 --> 00:18:49,380 [cheers and applause] - Praise the Lord. 474 00:18:49,422 --> 00:18:50,923 Come on with that! 475 00:18:50,965 --> 00:18:51,966 - Jesus clicked subscribe, 476 00:18:52,008 --> 00:18:53,843 and ain't nothin' wrong with that. 477 00:18:53,885 --> 00:18:55,678 I'm saying ain't nothing wrong with that! 478 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:56,929 [all cheering] - Okay? 479 00:18:56,971 --> 00:18:58,514 - Yeah, I remember Jasper. 480 00:18:58,556 --> 00:19:00,767 - That's looking good, y'all. - Ooh. 481 00:19:00,808 --> 00:19:02,685 - I think we did a really nice job. 482 00:19:02,727 --> 00:19:04,270 Y'all remember, though-- you remember the picnic? 483 00:19:04,312 --> 00:19:05,521 - I got it from my tree. 484 00:19:05,563 --> 00:19:06,689 - Do you remember Sister Jenkins? 485 00:19:06,731 --> 00:19:08,232 - Ladies, sorry to interrupt. 486 00:19:08,274 --> 00:19:09,859 I-- [sighs] 487 00:19:09,901 --> 00:19:12,153 I just wanna say that what happened earlier 488 00:19:12,195 --> 00:19:14,072 really made me uncomfortable. 489 00:19:14,113 --> 00:19:15,573 - Oh, we was just playing, honey. 490 00:19:15,615 --> 00:19:17,200 - Sugar, it's just jokes. 491 00:19:17,241 --> 00:19:18,409 The good lord say 492 00:19:18,451 --> 00:19:20,161 a cheerful heart is good medicine. 493 00:19:20,203 --> 00:19:21,746 - Mm-hmm. - But a crushed spirit 494 00:19:21,788 --> 00:19:23,206 dries up the bone. 495 00:19:23,247 --> 00:19:25,833 - Mm-hmm, and all that playing 496 00:19:25,875 --> 00:19:29,379 is making my bones real dry right now. 497 00:19:29,420 --> 00:19:31,506 - Enough with all this bone talk. 498 00:19:31,547 --> 00:19:33,466 I know what that means. 499 00:19:33,508 --> 00:19:37,053 Now, I'm sorry I made you dry, I really am, 500 00:19:37,095 --> 00:19:40,932 but maybe we need to reevaluate this relationship 501 00:19:40,973 --> 00:19:42,475 and set some boundaries. 502 00:19:42,517 --> 00:19:43,684 - Boy, shut up. 503 00:19:43,726 --> 00:19:45,228 You wasn't even that cute anyway. 504 00:19:45,269 --> 00:19:46,396 I rebuke you. 505 00:19:46,437 --> 00:19:48,147 - Why you canoodling with us, anyway? 506 00:19:48,189 --> 00:19:50,233 What are you, a muffin duster? 507 00:19:50,274 --> 00:19:53,152 [laughter] - No. No. Don't say that. 508 00:19:53,194 --> 00:19:56,739 - And coming around us every Sunday, being a thot. 509 00:19:56,781 --> 00:19:59,367 Smiling and laughing at our corny jokes. 510 00:19:59,409 --> 00:20:00,410 Yes, they're corny. 511 00:20:00,451 --> 00:20:01,911 We're old and we don't cuss 512 00:20:01,953 --> 00:20:03,621 and we don't know how to open our phones. 513 00:20:03,663 --> 00:20:05,957 What did you think this was? - You thought this was a game? 514 00:20:05,998 --> 00:20:08,292 We ain't trying to play pinochle with you. 515 00:20:08,334 --> 00:20:10,253 - Mm-hmm. - I'm tired of waiting for it. 516 00:20:10,294 --> 00:20:12,755 I'm trying to get a piece. - Mm-hmm. 517 00:20:12,797 --> 00:20:15,133 - Coming around in your little capri pants 518 00:20:15,174 --> 00:20:17,719 shaking them calves. 519 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:19,303 - Slut. 520 00:20:19,345 --> 00:20:21,931 - Not you too, Eunice. - Mm-hmm. 521 00:20:21,973 --> 00:20:24,058 Busting in here like the Kool-Aid man 522 00:20:24,100 --> 00:20:25,685 talking about boundaries. 523 00:20:25,727 --> 00:20:29,230 Bound your ass back to that baptism tub and drown. 524 00:20:29,272 --> 00:20:31,649 Be blessed. [laughter] 525 00:20:31,691 --> 00:20:33,526 - Boy, I don't know what you talking about, 526 00:20:33,568 --> 00:20:35,945 but I would like to see you in some Speedos. 527 00:20:38,781 --> 00:20:40,742 - Hey, babe, why are you so upset? 528 00:20:40,783 --> 00:20:42,326 I didn't even say "pussy." 529 00:20:42,368 --> 00:20:44,495 I thought it was pretty smooth, actually. 530 00:20:44,537 --> 00:20:46,789 - Look what she sent me. 531 00:20:46,831 --> 00:20:48,416 - "How to get your partner to lose weight." 532 00:20:48,458 --> 00:20:49,792 - Yeah. 533 00:20:49,834 --> 00:20:51,085 - And she put exclamation points on that one? 534 00:20:51,127 --> 00:20:52,670 - Yeah. 535 00:20:52,712 --> 00:20:54,797 - Well, tell her stop making all them damn Cinnabons, then. 536 00:20:54,839 --> 00:20:58,468 - It has been 35 fucking years, Sam. 537 00:20:58,509 --> 00:21:00,344 She just chips away at me. 538 00:21:00,386 --> 00:21:03,181 Every time there's a new word for abuse, I'm like, "Oh, yeah. 539 00:21:03,222 --> 00:21:04,766 That happened to me." 540 00:21:04,807 --> 00:21:08,352 Microaggressions. Love bombing. Gaslighting. 541 00:21:08,394 --> 00:21:10,438 You ever heard of shame dumping? 542 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:11,814 - I've taken a few shame dumps. 543 00:21:11,856 --> 00:21:13,941 - And every time I try to say something, 544 00:21:13,983 --> 00:21:17,320 she plays victim, as--as if I'm doing it to her. 545 00:21:17,361 --> 00:21:19,280 I don't even know what I could have been 546 00:21:19,322 --> 00:21:20,823 without the weight of this old hoe. 547 00:21:20,865 --> 00:21:22,533 - I don't know who you could have been. 548 00:21:22,575 --> 00:21:24,410 - Right. - But the person you are 549 00:21:24,452 --> 00:21:27,497 is awesome, accepting, and forgiving. 550 00:21:27,538 --> 00:21:29,207 And you sitting on a donkey, girl. 551 00:21:29,248 --> 00:21:31,084 Damn. - I am? 552 00:21:31,125 --> 00:21:34,587 - Besides, God has a plan. Your mom's gonna die soon. 553 00:21:34,629 --> 00:21:36,172 - You promise? 554 00:21:36,214 --> 00:21:38,758 - He missed with that tree, but he gon' get her. 555 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:40,468 - Mm. - And if you want me to, 556 00:21:40,510 --> 00:21:43,096 I will punch her in the stomach really hard. 557 00:21:43,137 --> 00:21:45,890 Tomorrow. But today? 558 00:21:45,932 --> 00:21:48,309 Let's just focus on getting her out the house. 559 00:21:48,351 --> 00:21:50,228 - I appreciate that. 560 00:21:50,269 --> 00:21:52,188 - And when this is all done, 561 00:21:52,230 --> 00:21:53,314 I'ma eat your butt. 562 00:21:53,356 --> 00:21:55,400 - Oh! 563 00:21:55,441 --> 00:21:59,487 - Forgive me, Lord, but I have been starved. 564 00:21:59,529 --> 00:22:02,448 [dramatic music] 565 00:22:02,490 --> 00:22:08,871 * * 566 00:22:10,164 --> 00:22:12,333 both: Methuselah! 567 00:22:12,375 --> 00:22:14,544 - [sniffs] No, thank you. 568 00:22:14,585 --> 00:22:17,463 [swords scraping] 569 00:22:17,505 --> 00:22:23,928 * * 570 00:22:26,013 --> 00:22:27,557 [metal clangs] 571 00:22:32,603 --> 00:22:35,606 [cheers and applause] 572 00:22:38,401 --> 00:22:41,446 - Ephesians 6:11. 573 00:22:41,487 --> 00:22:43,698 God said, "Put on all the armor." 574 00:22:43,740 --> 00:22:46,242 Now, some of y'all walking around here 575 00:22:46,284 --> 00:22:47,827 with just kneepads on. 576 00:22:47,869 --> 00:22:50,079 - Mm-hmm. - Talking 'bout, "I'm good." 577 00:22:50,121 --> 00:22:51,497 How you sound? 578 00:22:51,539 --> 00:22:54,751 You forget that the armor of God is free, 579 00:22:54,792 --> 00:22:56,461 but you want to walk around here 580 00:22:56,502 --> 00:22:58,713 spending $200 on House of Dereon. 581 00:22:58,755 --> 00:23:00,715 [crowd murmurs in agreement] 582 00:23:00,757 --> 00:23:01,966 You got on your Gucci flip-flops, 583 00:23:02,008 --> 00:23:04,052 but you're flip-flopping on the Lord. 584 00:23:04,093 --> 00:23:06,971 [crowd murmurs] - He talking about you. 585 00:23:07,013 --> 00:23:09,140 - 'Cause God said all the armor. 586 00:23:09,182 --> 00:23:12,143 Put it on! Put it on! [cheers and applause] 587 00:23:12,185 --> 00:23:14,187 Put it on! Put it on! 588 00:23:14,228 --> 00:23:18,900 Put it on! Put it on! Put it on. All the armor. 589 00:23:18,941 --> 00:23:20,818 [cheers and applause] [mouthing words] 590 00:23:20,860 --> 00:23:22,904 - All the armor. All of it. 591 00:23:22,945 --> 00:23:26,949 - Oh, Jesus. Now I see what we doing. 592 00:23:26,991 --> 00:23:30,328 Man, this whole time I thought I was just a quadruple threat. 593 00:23:30,369 --> 00:23:33,831 Turns out I'm a five threat, and my biggest threat 594 00:23:33,873 --> 00:23:36,709 is turning washed niggas into wine. 595 00:23:36,751 --> 00:23:39,921 They going crazy. Drink up, y'all. 596 00:23:39,962 --> 00:23:43,132 Me and Jesus got a talent agency now. 597 00:23:43,174 --> 00:23:46,010 - And I'm gonna let you know, you ain't slick. 598 00:23:46,052 --> 00:23:47,929 I know who you are. - Mm-hmm. 599 00:23:47,970 --> 00:23:49,680 - You in the bathroom talking about, 600 00:23:49,722 --> 00:23:52,058 "Pastor must be scared. [crowd murmurs agreement] 601 00:23:52,100 --> 00:23:54,602 "Pastor suit too big. [crowd murmurs] 602 00:23:54,644 --> 00:23:56,896 Oh, he must have borrowed that." 603 00:23:56,938 --> 00:23:59,357 But no, I ain't borrowed this. This is mine. 604 00:23:59,399 --> 00:24:01,234 [applause] I said this is mine. 605 00:24:01,275 --> 00:24:04,278 [cheers and applause] I said this is mine, okay! 606 00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:08,157 This is mine! Come on, now. This is mine! 607 00:24:08,199 --> 00:24:09,617 This is-- 608 00:24:12,203 --> 00:24:14,038 - Hey, man. This where the printer is? 609 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:16,416 I'm a talent agent now, so I need some business cards. 610 00:24:16,457 --> 00:24:19,335 I want something that says I'm here for business 611 00:24:19,377 --> 00:24:21,003 and pleasure. 612 00:24:21,045 --> 00:24:23,548 - Chris, there's no printer or pleasure in here. 613 00:24:23,589 --> 00:24:25,675 - Damn. - My girls turned on me. 614 00:24:25,717 --> 00:24:27,719 - What girls? What you talking about? 615 00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:29,303 - We were having a nice time 616 00:24:29,345 --> 00:24:31,806 talking about who's going through a messy divorce, 617 00:24:31,848 --> 00:24:34,642 and then they threatened to suck me bone dry. 618 00:24:34,684 --> 00:24:36,144 I want to maintain the friendship, 619 00:24:36,185 --> 00:24:38,855 but at what cost? 620 00:24:38,896 --> 00:24:40,148 - Okay, I have several questions, 621 00:24:40,189 --> 00:24:41,649 but I'ma save 'em because you aren't 622 00:24:41,691 --> 00:24:43,317 talented enough for me to represent, 623 00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:44,819 so I'ma hip pocket you. 624 00:24:44,861 --> 00:24:46,988 Give you some wisdom. Hey, listen, man. 625 00:24:47,029 --> 00:24:51,617 Me and Jesus gave everything in ourselves for the people. 626 00:24:51,659 --> 00:24:54,412 What have you given, brother? Hmm? 627 00:24:54,454 --> 00:24:57,832 - Chris...that wasn't dumb. 628 00:24:57,874 --> 00:25:00,001 - Mm-hmm. - That wasn't dumb at all. 629 00:25:00,043 --> 00:25:01,294 - Mm-mm. 630 00:25:01,335 --> 00:25:03,629 - I have to give more. 631 00:25:03,671 --> 00:25:06,049 - Yeah. Happy to help. Now, you help me. 632 00:25:06,090 --> 00:25:07,842 I'm thinking about this for the business card. 633 00:25:07,884 --> 00:25:09,802 What this sound like? "Chris Henson. 634 00:25:09,844 --> 00:25:12,305 Head hunter. Head lover." 635 00:25:12,346 --> 00:25:15,016 It works on so many levels 'cause I love head, 636 00:25:15,058 --> 00:25:17,310 and I'm also hunting head as a talent agent. 637 00:25:17,351 --> 00:25:19,145 And you...are not here. 638 00:25:19,187 --> 00:25:23,191 [metal clangs] [all grunting] 639 00:25:23,232 --> 00:25:26,152 [energetic music] 640 00:25:26,194 --> 00:25:29,197 * * 641 00:25:29,238 --> 00:25:31,491 - Hey, what's up, Jak? 642 00:25:31,532 --> 00:25:32,700 [metal clangs] - [grunts] 643 00:25:32,742 --> 00:25:34,994 - [laughs] 644 00:25:35,036 --> 00:25:38,372 [grunts, coughs] 645 00:25:38,414 --> 00:25:40,208 I thought we were just playing! 646 00:25:40,249 --> 00:25:41,834 - That wig was a mess. 647 00:25:41,876 --> 00:25:43,920 I didn't know whether to comb it or pet it. 648 00:25:43,961 --> 00:25:47,131 I thought it was gonna bark. [laughter] 649 00:25:47,173 --> 00:25:49,467 - It's European. 650 00:25:49,509 --> 00:25:50,843 - What do you want? 651 00:25:50,885 --> 00:25:53,513 - Ladies, I want to apologize. 652 00:25:53,554 --> 00:25:55,640 I realize now that I had the spirit 653 00:25:55,681 --> 00:25:57,767 of the jezebel in me, 654 00:25:57,809 --> 00:26:01,312 and I think it's best I let you lay hands. 655 00:26:01,354 --> 00:26:03,898 - So glad you came around. 656 00:26:05,191 --> 00:26:07,235 - Slut. 657 00:26:07,276 --> 00:26:10,863 - * Gonna tell everyone he'll set you free * 658 00:26:10,905 --> 00:26:12,281 * Like he did me * 659 00:26:12,323 --> 00:26:13,991 - Oh, my. 660 00:26:14,033 --> 00:26:16,619 - * Hey, I'm gonna tell * all: * Tell * 661 00:26:16,661 --> 00:26:19,080 * Everybody * 662 00:26:19,122 --> 00:26:22,291 - Oh, we all came here to turn up with God, okay? 663 00:26:22,333 --> 00:26:23,835 But listen up. 664 00:26:23,876 --> 00:26:25,920 There's somebody amidst us 665 00:26:25,962 --> 00:26:27,880 going through their own trial right now. 666 00:26:27,922 --> 00:26:31,259 Y'all, help me welcome up sister Noreen Hodges. 667 00:26:31,300 --> 00:26:34,220 [applause] 668 00:26:36,556 --> 00:26:41,185 Now, Noreen, you know that the donation today was for you, 669 00:26:41,227 --> 00:26:45,648 and we are pleased as heaven to present you with $2,800. 670 00:26:45,690 --> 00:26:47,692 [cheers and applause] 671 00:26:47,734 --> 00:26:49,694 - Wow! 672 00:26:49,736 --> 00:26:51,863 I am truly humbled 673 00:26:51,904 --> 00:26:56,117 by the giving spirit, the--the kindness, 674 00:26:56,159 --> 00:26:59,120 and the generosity displayed here today. 675 00:26:59,162 --> 00:27:01,164 This community means the world to me, 676 00:27:01,205 --> 00:27:03,249 and I am honored 677 00:27:03,291 --> 00:27:07,462 that so many of you stepped up to care. 678 00:27:07,503 --> 00:27:12,592 But as I reflect on what God has laid before me, 679 00:27:12,633 --> 00:27:16,471 I realize that I already have everything I need. 680 00:27:16,512 --> 00:27:17,972 [laughs] - That's right. 681 00:27:18,014 --> 00:27:21,517 - Since I can always live with my daughter, 682 00:27:21,559 --> 00:27:26,439 I am donating this money to the children's fund. 683 00:27:26,481 --> 00:27:29,817 [applause] 684 00:27:29,859 --> 00:27:32,820 - Sister, I just--bless you. 685 00:27:32,862 --> 00:27:34,864 - No! [applause stops] 686 00:27:34,906 --> 00:27:36,991 Fuck all that! [crowd exclaims] 687 00:27:37,033 --> 00:27:38,993 I don't care if she take the money or not. 688 00:27:39,035 --> 00:27:41,537 This bitch is leaving my house today! 689 00:27:41,579 --> 00:27:43,539 [crowd exclaims] - Ooh, damn. 690 00:27:43,581 --> 00:27:45,374 She ain't got no protocol. 691 00:27:45,416 --> 00:27:47,251 - Hey, don't talk to my girl like that. 692 00:27:47,293 --> 00:27:48,419 - Yeah! 693 00:27:48,461 --> 00:27:49,504 - Tell her that my weight is proportional 694 00:27:49,545 --> 00:27:50,505 to my height, baby. 695 00:27:50,546 --> 00:27:52,340 My BMI is perfect, bitch. 696 00:27:52,382 --> 00:27:53,966 - Yeah, it is. 697 00:27:54,008 --> 00:27:55,968 And like I said earlier, fuck her. 698 00:27:56,010 --> 00:27:58,721 [crowd gasps] - Yeah, and fuck this church! 699 00:27:58,763 --> 00:27:59,972 [crowd exclaims] 700 00:28:00,014 --> 00:28:02,141 - And fuck God! 701 00:28:02,183 --> 00:28:06,187 [crowd shouts] - Oh, Jesus! Oh, God. 702 00:28:06,229 --> 00:28:09,482 - Baby, let's please leave God out of this, okay? 703 00:28:09,524 --> 00:28:12,860 Just call your mama ugly or talk about her chin hairs. 704 00:28:12,902 --> 00:28:14,779 - Happily. They long. 705 00:28:14,821 --> 00:28:16,572 - And they curly. 706 00:28:16,614 --> 00:28:19,992 - Okay, okay. Edgy. Fearless. 707 00:28:20,034 --> 00:28:21,536 Two Kelly Rowlands. 708 00:28:21,577 --> 00:28:26,040 I mean, oh, this girl group clearly has something to say, 709 00:28:26,082 --> 00:28:28,126 but do they have star power? 710 00:28:28,167 --> 00:28:32,380 - [screams] I hate you stupid twins! 711 00:28:32,422 --> 00:28:35,383 I'm gonna choke the shit out of you redundant motherfuckers! 712 00:28:35,425 --> 00:28:37,885 - Let him go, and be gone! - Get off of me! 713 00:28:37,927 --> 00:28:40,638 Gah! I hate it here! Oh, God. 714 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:42,724 [crowd gasps] - [screams] 715 00:28:42,765 --> 00:28:44,142 - Oh, God. Oh, Jesus. 716 00:28:44,183 --> 00:28:48,438 Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. 717 00:28:48,479 --> 00:28:50,064 [laughter] 718 00:28:50,106 --> 00:28:52,108 - He buttery as hell. 719 00:28:54,444 --> 00:28:56,612 - I told you you was being a thot. 720 00:28:56,654 --> 00:29:00,366 [laughter and muttering 721 00:29:02,285 --> 00:29:05,413 - What the hell is wrong with you all? 722 00:29:05,455 --> 00:29:08,875 Is it really that terrible, me being in your house? 723 00:29:08,916 --> 00:29:10,084 - You'll be good. 724 00:29:10,126 --> 00:29:12,211 - My own daughter treating me like this. 725 00:29:12,253 --> 00:29:13,880 - I'm really proud of you putting those walls up 726 00:29:13,921 --> 00:29:15,173 with your mama, baby. 727 00:29:15,214 --> 00:29:17,216 - Thank you, baby. - And when we get home, 728 00:29:17,258 --> 00:29:19,218 I'ma tear them things down. 729 00:29:19,260 --> 00:29:20,344 - Ooh. 730 00:29:20,386 --> 00:29:22,055 Then we can finally do it with the TV off. 731 00:29:22,096 --> 00:29:24,432 - Yep. We can watch ourselves fuck 732 00:29:24,474 --> 00:29:26,267 in the reflection of the black, empty screen. 733 00:29:26,309 --> 00:29:28,102 - Oh! - And you know what else? 734 00:29:28,144 --> 00:29:30,521 I can always find another church next week. 735 00:29:30,563 --> 00:29:32,607 Matter of fact, I think I'ma go morning and night. 736 00:29:32,648 --> 00:29:34,609 - Oh, that's gonna be good. 737 00:29:34,650 --> 00:29:36,277 - Hey, where did Jak go? 738 00:29:36,319 --> 00:29:37,945 - Oh, he said something about searching 739 00:29:37,987 --> 00:29:39,489 for the Seven Scattered Adventists. 740 00:29:39,530 --> 00:29:42,492 [ominous music] 741 00:29:42,533 --> 00:29:46,871 * * 742 00:29:46,913 --> 00:29:49,457 - * Baby twins and adult Jak * 743 00:29:49,499 --> 00:29:52,502 * Remember, this is baby twins and adult Jak * 744 00:29:52,543 --> 00:29:55,838 * Remember, this is baby twins and adult Jak * 745 00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:59,133 * Remember, this is baby twins and adult Jak *