1 00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:10,261 - See you out there. 2 00:00:10,303 --> 00:00:13,639 - Bruh, this bird got a big old ass, dog. 3 00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:16,225 God be dropping new animals like they mixtapes. 4 00:00:16,267 --> 00:00:18,394 - Oh, you're talking about flying birds. 5 00:00:18,436 --> 00:00:20,688 - Yeah. - Oh, okay. Oh, goddamn. 6 00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,440 - Right? - Ooh! 7 00:00:22,482 --> 00:00:25,651 Body like Beyoncé, face like Iago. 8 00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,278 [both laugh] 9 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:29,322 - Hey, yo, whose plantation would you work for 10 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,324 if slavery got poppin' again? 11 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,242 - I'd slave for those two dread-headed twins 12 00:00:33,284 --> 00:00:34,869 on "Matrix Reloaded." 13 00:00:34,911 --> 00:00:37,580 Oh, it can go underwater, too? That's sick! 14 00:00:37,622 --> 00:00:40,333 - So you want two slave masters? 15 00:00:41,626 --> 00:00:44,295 - I'm a whole lot of nigga, bro. 16 00:00:44,337 --> 00:00:45,838 Whole lot. - Mm-hmm. 17 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:47,715 - Whew. 18 00:00:47,757 --> 00:00:51,177 What a day, what a day it is. That's what I'm talkin' about. 19 00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:53,221 Ha-ah. 20 00:00:54,889 --> 00:00:58,101 Whew. [sighs] 21 00:00:58,142 --> 00:01:01,729 [gulping] 22 00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:09,237 [burps] 23 00:01:09,278 --> 00:01:11,155 Whoo! 24 00:01:11,197 --> 00:01:12,949 Boy, I am tired. 25 00:01:14,075 --> 00:01:15,868 - From what? 26 00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:17,703 - Fucking all these homeless women. 27 00:01:19,956 --> 00:01:23,334 - Nigga, what? This turtle got a horn! 28 00:01:25,211 --> 00:01:26,254 A horn! 29 00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:29,340 [piano music] 30 00:01:29,382 --> 00:01:31,175 - Homeless women? 31 00:01:31,217 --> 00:01:32,885 Like, plural? 32 00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:34,137 - No, no. 33 00:01:34,178 --> 00:01:36,139 First of all, they're unhoused, 34 00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:38,850 and second, you can't do that, Chris. 35 00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:41,310 You can't fuck someone and be the only person 36 00:01:41,352 --> 00:01:42,437 who gets to shower after. 37 00:01:42,478 --> 00:01:44,439 - Oh. Uh-uh-uh. 38 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:46,023 They caught a shower, okay? You know what I'm sayin'? 39 00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:48,443 - It's not funny. Don't high-five him for that. 40 00:01:48,484 --> 00:01:52,155 Listen, they're victims, with their cans of beans 41 00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:54,574 and their stories of the railroad 42 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:57,452 and their harmonicas that howl into the night. 43 00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:59,704 I mean, come on, Chris. It's abuse. 44 00:01:59,746 --> 00:02:02,373 When they look at you, they see a ham. 45 00:02:02,415 --> 00:02:03,916 - Hey, listen here, khaki onesie, 46 00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:06,085 you have no idea what I'm talking about. 47 00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:08,254 I am a connoisseur of bitches. 48 00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:10,173 A sommelier of snatch, if you will. 49 00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:11,716 - Mm, mm-mm. Don't start rhyming. 50 00:02:11,758 --> 00:02:13,217 Just tell us why you're doing this. 51 00:02:13,259 --> 00:02:15,219 - Mm-hmm. - I've been fucking bitches 52 00:02:15,261 --> 00:02:16,721 a long time-- all kind of bitches. 53 00:02:16,763 --> 00:02:18,848 Goth bitches, equestrian hoes, 54 00:02:18,890 --> 00:02:21,100 administrative shorties that pretend to know Excel, 55 00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:22,351 but they do not. 56 00:02:22,393 --> 00:02:23,728 - She was nice. 57 00:02:23,770 --> 00:02:26,564 - But homeless women were the last on my list, 58 00:02:26,606 --> 00:02:27,940 and let me tell y'all, 59 00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:30,902 that shit yanking on a whole new level. Mmm! 60 00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:32,779 - So you just out here being nasty for real. 61 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:33,905 - There it is. 62 00:02:33,946 --> 00:02:35,364 - Homeless women are dope as hell, man. 63 00:02:35,406 --> 00:02:36,866 They got mad game, always telling me 64 00:02:36,908 --> 00:02:38,409 how clean I smell 65 00:02:38,451 --> 00:02:39,660 and how full I look. 66 00:02:39,702 --> 00:02:41,621 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 67 00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,706 I--I have to understand this. 68 00:02:43,748 --> 00:02:46,501 Are you telling me you've been having sex with these women 69 00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:49,921 in our apartment, where I watch "Bones"? 70 00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:51,464 - Nah, fam. Come on, man. 71 00:02:51,506 --> 00:02:52,840 I go where they at. 72 00:02:52,882 --> 00:02:54,425 And the city moves 'em around all the time, 73 00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:56,677 so I gotta find 'em, like an Easter egg hunt. 74 00:02:56,719 --> 00:02:58,721 - Or Pokémon Go. Remember that? 75 00:02:58,763 --> 00:03:00,765 - You know what? They grown. 76 00:03:00,807 --> 00:03:02,308 Bitches gonna fuck who they wanna fuck. 77 00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:03,601 - Okay. Don't join in on this. 78 00:03:03,643 --> 00:03:07,730 - And sometimes, Langston, we don't even fuck. 79 00:03:07,772 --> 00:03:09,357 - Damn. - We be chilling. 80 00:03:09,399 --> 00:03:11,234 Shooting firecrackers, 81 00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:12,902 making trap beats on buckets. 82 00:03:12,944 --> 00:03:15,321 playing LEGOs, but we don't got LEGOs, 83 00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:18,908 we got rocks that happen to fit as puzzle pieces. 84 00:03:18,950 --> 00:03:20,952 - That sounds fun. - That's gang, for real. 85 00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:24,330 - Gang or not, it's exploitation. 86 00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:26,624 You can't just come down there 87 00:03:26,666 --> 00:03:29,711 tossin' penis and suckin' salad. 88 00:03:29,752 --> 00:03:31,629 - Hold up, dog, are you saying just 'cause they're homeless, 89 00:03:31,671 --> 00:03:33,214 they don't deserve a clean set of balls? 90 00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:34,799 So if you saw a homeless person eating sushi, 91 00:03:34,841 --> 00:03:35,967 you would slap it out their hand, 92 00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:37,260 'cause it's not Spam? 93 00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:38,302 That is fucked up. - That's not-- 94 00:03:38,344 --> 00:03:39,470 - Yeah, man. It sounds like 95 00:03:39,512 --> 00:03:40,805 it's real dope to hang out with somebody 96 00:03:40,847 --> 00:03:42,557 that doesn't know all four digits 97 00:03:42,598 --> 00:03:44,016 of they Social Security number. 98 00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,977 - What? - Your Social Security number. 99 00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:49,689 You know, 9519--shit, I've been compromised! 100 00:03:49,731 --> 00:03:51,816 Ahh! - I'm not dealing with that. 101 00:03:51,858 --> 00:03:54,402 Anyways, men fuck broke bitches all the time. 102 00:03:54,444 --> 00:03:55,528 How is what Chris doing any different? 103 00:03:55,570 --> 00:03:58,156 - That's exactly right, Dr. Sam. 104 00:03:58,197 --> 00:04:01,617 How is that any different, huh? I was broke. 105 00:04:01,659 --> 00:04:04,454 I was throwing dick in exchange for asylum. 106 00:04:04,495 --> 00:04:07,915 Now, why can't these ladies suck on me for survival, nigga? 107 00:04:07,957 --> 00:04:11,294 - Because they need money and food for survival, 108 00:04:11,335 --> 00:04:15,381 not a nigga who stands on his tippy-toes in his pictures. 109 00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:16,883 - If a bitch tall, what you gonna do? 110 00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,801 - Mm, well, people want what they want, dude. 111 00:04:18,843 --> 00:04:20,511 Like, do you think Toni Braxton knew 112 00:04:20,553 --> 00:04:21,721 she was gonna end up with Birdman 113 00:04:21,763 --> 00:04:23,514 when she sang "Unbreak my Heart"? 114 00:04:23,556 --> 00:04:26,976 - Yeah, Langston. Love is love. 115 00:04:27,018 --> 00:04:28,394 Toni kissed Birdman. 116 00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:29,812 Birdman kissed Wayne. 117 00:04:29,854 --> 00:04:32,523 Wayne did a kickflip. Yah! - Mm-hmm. 118 00:04:32,565 --> 00:04:34,317 - Yeah. Shut the fuck up, Langston. 119 00:04:34,358 --> 00:04:35,443 Got his ass. - Whoa, chill out. 120 00:04:35,485 --> 00:04:36,819 Hey, shut the fuck up. 121 00:04:36,861 --> 00:04:38,613 Okay, hey, hey, I'll shut the fuck up, 122 00:04:38,654 --> 00:04:40,698 because love is love. 123 00:04:40,740 --> 00:04:43,326 So that means that a 50-year-old man 124 00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:45,703 can "love" a 14-year-old girl, then. 125 00:04:45,745 --> 00:04:46,871 [all groaning] - Dude! 126 00:04:46,913 --> 00:04:48,289 - Oh, no, nigga. - Bro, don't do that. 127 00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:49,624 - Nigga, you're nasty. 128 00:04:49,665 --> 00:04:51,167 - Why is that analogy not as strong? 129 00:04:51,209 --> 00:04:52,502 - Get it together, L. Kelly. 130 00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:53,961 - Don't call me L. Kelly! 131 00:04:54,003 --> 00:04:56,214 That's a nasty rumor to spread about me. 132 00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:58,257 - Uh-uh, uh-uh, nasty niggas can't come with us. 133 00:04:58,299 --> 00:04:59,550 - But I'm not a nasty nigga! 134 00:04:59,592 --> 00:05:01,803 I'm a hero in this story! 135 00:05:03,054 --> 00:05:04,597 - Gonna hit this bar real quick, 136 00:05:04,639 --> 00:05:06,099 you know what I'm saying? - Wait. Stop leaving me. 137 00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:07,767 - Come on, let me get you a little straw. 138 00:05:07,809 --> 00:05:08,976 - Bro, at the end of the day, 139 00:05:09,018 --> 00:05:11,104 we all fucked up and ended up here. 140 00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:13,481 Chris' prized possession is his mall cart jewelry. 141 00:05:13,523 --> 00:05:15,358 If someone wants to fuck him, it's a W. 142 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,443 What's up, dog? - Hey, what's up? 143 00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:18,945 - Yeah, but first of all, fucked up? 144 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,155 Oh, no. Not me. You sound stupid. 145 00:05:21,197 --> 00:05:23,699 I'm gonna be the boss around here someday. 146 00:05:23,741 --> 00:05:25,576 - No, you not. - [laughs] The boss? 147 00:05:25,618 --> 00:05:26,953 You haven't even been employee of the month, 148 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:29,080 and we've been here, like, a million months. 149 00:05:29,122 --> 00:05:31,916 You try, and we don't, and we get paid the same. 150 00:05:31,958 --> 00:05:33,459 Seems like you fucking up the most. 151 00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:35,002 - Since when did professionalism 152 00:05:35,044 --> 00:05:36,295 become a bad thing? 153 00:05:36,337 --> 00:05:38,506 I just haven't spread my wings yet, you know? 154 00:05:38,548 --> 00:05:39,799 - What up, dog? - Yes, you have, my nigga. 155 00:05:39,841 --> 00:05:41,467 You just a fucking penguin. 156 00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:43,594 - Or an emu. Or an ostrich. 157 00:05:43,636 --> 00:05:45,138 I learned today. 158 00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:46,597 - You think the world is suddenly 159 00:05:46,639 --> 00:05:48,474 gonna recognize our potential? - What's up, bro? 160 00:05:48,516 --> 00:05:49,767 - We're all gonna end up on the street 161 00:05:49,809 --> 00:05:51,769 listening to Chris smash our sidewalk neighbors, 162 00:05:51,811 --> 00:05:53,229 if we don't learn how to play the game. 163 00:05:53,271 --> 00:05:55,356 That's why I listen to Boone Jackson's podcast. 164 00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:57,775 - Oh, my God. - Boone Jackson? 165 00:05:57,817 --> 00:05:59,277 - Mm-hmm. - Who's Boone Jackson? 166 00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:02,530 - He's this dude who's like a Tony Robbins 167 00:06:02,572 --> 00:06:04,198 for niggas who put rims on they Altimas. 168 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:07,410 - See, this is the shit Boone warned me about. 169 00:06:07,452 --> 00:06:08,953 He told me I gotta reshape my life. 170 00:06:08,995 --> 00:06:10,329 Keep you squares out of my circle. 171 00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:12,915 - I love Boone. Boy, I went to one seminar. 172 00:06:12,957 --> 00:06:14,959 That very next week, I had a Lamborghini. 173 00:06:15,001 --> 00:06:17,962 - Because he rented a Lamborghini. 174 00:06:18,004 --> 00:06:19,130 - Exactly. 175 00:06:19,172 --> 00:06:21,466 Boone says, see something, pay something. 176 00:06:21,507 --> 00:06:22,800 I saw a Lamborghini. Paid for it. 177 00:06:22,842 --> 00:06:24,218 Had it for one day. 178 00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:26,387 Still paying it off, but the one day I had it? 179 00:06:26,429 --> 00:06:27,930 [laughs] Long and fast. 180 00:06:27,972 --> 00:06:30,141 - I'm going to see him tomorrow. 181 00:06:30,183 --> 00:06:32,977 I watch all his IG Lives and his videos at the Gas Pump. 182 00:06:33,019 --> 00:06:34,979 I'm telling you, he pushes you to be a go-getter. 183 00:06:35,021 --> 00:06:37,190 I'ma send you a compilation of his best shit. 184 00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:38,775 He also does these videos 185 00:06:38,816 --> 00:06:40,193 where he reviews banana puddings. 186 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:41,486 - This is so weird. 187 00:06:41,527 --> 00:06:43,071 I've never thought of you as someone that needs 188 00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:46,365 to get life advice from anyone, really. 189 00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:47,408 Like, you're a leader. - Mm-hmm. 190 00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:48,743 - You're our leader, for sure. 191 00:06:48,785 --> 00:06:50,411 You're like the Doritos to our Locos Tacos. 192 00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:51,913 - You know, in Spanish, 193 00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:55,500 it's actually the adjective after the noun, so it's-- 194 00:06:55,541 --> 00:06:57,543 - Nigga, I know what I ate! 195 00:06:57,585 --> 00:06:59,045 - Whew. - You niggas have fun 196 00:06:59,087 --> 00:06:59,921 staying broke. 197 00:06:59,962 --> 00:07:01,172 I'm about to start drinking, 198 00:07:01,214 --> 00:07:03,257 so I can pass out and wake up early. 199 00:07:03,299 --> 00:07:05,009 I'm going to learn from the master himself. 200 00:07:05,051 --> 00:07:08,888 - Sam. Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam. Can I come? 201 00:07:08,930 --> 00:07:10,181 Can I come? Can I come? Can I come? Can I come? 202 00:07:10,223 --> 00:07:11,349 Can I come? Can I come? Can I come? 203 00:07:11,391 --> 00:07:12,475 Can I come? Can I come? 204 00:07:12,517 --> 00:07:14,352 - Shut up. And fine. - Yeah! 205 00:07:14,394 --> 00:07:15,853 - I didn't really think this was your thing, 206 00:07:15,895 --> 00:07:17,730 'cause you eat candy at 9:00 a.m. 207 00:07:17,772 --> 00:07:19,607 If you promise to sit the entire time, 208 00:07:19,649 --> 00:07:20,775 I'll cop you a ticket. 209 00:07:20,817 --> 00:07:23,361 - For real? Can I bring my friend? 210 00:07:23,403 --> 00:07:24,612 - You don't have any friends. 211 00:07:24,654 --> 00:07:26,030 - Yeah, that's true. That's true. 212 00:07:26,072 --> 00:07:28,699 - Chris, why can't you just fuck a receptionist 213 00:07:28,741 --> 00:07:31,869 or a sandwich artist, like a regular nigga? 214 00:07:31,911 --> 00:07:33,913 - Man, you ain't never said nothing about these people 215 00:07:33,955 --> 00:07:36,207 till you found out they make my penis happy. 216 00:07:36,249 --> 00:07:37,667 - Hey, stop. 217 00:07:37,708 --> 00:07:39,168 - You know, every time they walk up to your car, 218 00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:41,045 you roll up the windows all fast, 219 00:07:41,087 --> 00:07:43,589 lock the doors, play Mariah Carey extra loud. 220 00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:45,049 - Well, that's not true. 221 00:07:45,091 --> 00:07:48,261 You know I'm a Mariah man. Nick Cannon is a fool. 222 00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:51,514 - Every man is a Mariah man, and yes, Nick Cannon's foolish, 223 00:07:51,556 --> 00:07:54,225 but you on your fake woke liberal shit right now, 224 00:07:54,267 --> 00:07:56,477 acting like you know what these women want and need. 225 00:07:56,519 --> 00:07:58,062 - They need a place to stay. 226 00:07:58,104 --> 00:08:01,274 - Okay. Well, then let 'em stay here. 227 00:08:03,943 --> 00:08:07,280 [laughs] Look at your fucking face, man. 228 00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:10,450 And you with all this caped crusader hero talk 229 00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:12,201 in my cereal time got me fucked up. 230 00:08:12,243 --> 00:08:14,287 Got my fucking marshmallows all soggy. 231 00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:15,997 The least you can do is take me down there 232 00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:17,957 and meet my hoes away from home. 233 00:08:17,999 --> 00:08:20,376 - Fine. You know what? Fine. 234 00:08:20,418 --> 00:08:22,211 I will take you down there, 235 00:08:22,253 --> 00:08:24,297 because I'm not afraid of these people, 236 00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:28,426 and unlike you, I can help them without using my dick. 237 00:08:28,468 --> 00:08:30,219 - Hey, hey, hey. Okay. 238 00:08:30,261 --> 00:08:34,348 Brother, leave that attitude at the door, 239 00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:35,475 'cause they don't have those. 240 00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,351 You understand me? 241 00:08:37,393 --> 00:08:38,603 And don't wear nothing shiny. 242 00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:41,439 No rings or nothing like that. 243 00:08:41,481 --> 00:08:45,026 - Bro, I'm telling you, you're not ready for this shit. 244 00:08:45,068 --> 00:08:47,070 As soon as we finish this seminar, 245 00:08:47,111 --> 00:08:49,197 we all gonna be in the winner's circle, man. 246 00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:51,657 Fire, man. 247 00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:53,367 - Even him? 248 00:08:53,409 --> 00:08:56,204 - Yeah. Even that nigga. 249 00:08:56,245 --> 00:08:57,163 - Sick! 250 00:09:02,126 --> 00:09:04,837 [chatter] 251 00:09:04,879 --> 00:09:06,964 - But you need to get focused, you know what I mean? 252 00:09:07,006 --> 00:09:10,343 But, like, this shit is gonna- oh, shit. Shh! 253 00:09:10,385 --> 00:09:11,803 Here we go, man. 254 00:09:11,844 --> 00:09:14,263 [Rich Homie Quan's "Type of Way" playing] 255 00:09:14,305 --> 00:09:17,225 all: Hey, hey, hey, hey! 256 00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:24,190 * * 257 00:09:25,483 --> 00:09:26,984 [music stops] 258 00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:31,697 - Mm. 259 00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:32,657 Broke niggas. 260 00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:35,159 all: Boo! 261 00:09:35,201 --> 00:09:39,580 - I--I feel some kind of foreclosure energy 262 00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:40,957 in this room. 263 00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:42,291 I said broke niggas! 264 00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:45,962 all: Boo! 265 00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:48,172 - Are you tired of manifesting 266 00:09:48,214 --> 00:09:50,717 and ready to start maniflexing? 267 00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:52,385 [all cheering] all: Maniflex! 268 00:09:52,427 --> 00:09:53,636 - Uh! Uh! - Maniflex! 269 00:09:53,678 --> 00:09:55,054 - Huh? - Maniflex! 270 00:09:55,096 --> 00:09:56,556 - What? - Maniflex! 271 00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:58,015 - What? - Maniflex! 272 00:09:58,057 --> 00:10:00,435 - Everybody's always talking about 273 00:10:00,476 --> 00:10:02,103 unlocking they potential. 274 00:10:02,145 --> 00:10:03,479 all: Mm-hmm. 275 00:10:03,521 --> 00:10:06,649 - That's why your ass is still what, huh? 276 00:10:06,691 --> 00:10:07,775 Poor. - That's right. 277 00:10:07,817 --> 00:10:09,694 [scattered cheers] 278 00:10:09,736 --> 00:10:11,988 - You need some more money. all: Mm-hmm. 279 00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:13,197 - Some mo' connections. 280 00:10:13,239 --> 00:10:14,907 all: Mm-hmm. 281 00:10:14,949 --> 00:10:16,534 - And some more confidence. 282 00:10:16,576 --> 00:10:19,412 - Yes! - Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 283 00:10:19,454 --> 00:10:20,955 - Indeed, man. 284 00:10:20,997 --> 00:10:23,166 - I say fuck potential. 285 00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:25,668 Let's start unlocking some mo-tential! 286 00:10:25,710 --> 00:10:27,795 [all cheering] 287 00:10:27,837 --> 00:10:29,714 Huh! - Preach! 288 00:10:29,756 --> 00:10:31,466 - Look at your neighbor and say, 289 00:10:31,507 --> 00:10:33,342 "I ain't got potential. 290 00:10:33,384 --> 00:10:35,011 I got mo-tential." 291 00:10:35,053 --> 00:10:37,472 both: I ain't got potential! I got mo-tential! 292 00:10:37,513 --> 00:10:38,681 - Okay, okay, okay. 293 00:10:38,723 --> 00:10:40,850 [crowd clamoring] - Ooh! 294 00:10:42,393 --> 00:10:43,603 You need to wake up on Friday... 295 00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:44,979 all: Mm-hmm. 296 00:10:45,021 --> 00:10:47,774 - Look back at that man you were on Monday. 297 00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:49,025 - Yes. 298 00:10:49,067 --> 00:10:50,693 - And be like, "Hey, yo, fuck that nigga." 299 00:10:50,735 --> 00:10:52,570 [all agreeing] 300 00:10:52,612 --> 00:10:55,156 He's a bitch. - Uh-huh! 301 00:10:55,198 --> 00:10:57,658 - Can't nobody stop you, except you. 302 00:10:57,700 --> 00:11:00,995 - Welcome to the Booniverse, baby boy. 303 00:11:01,037 --> 00:11:04,040 - I get it. He's like a business magician. 304 00:11:04,082 --> 00:11:06,459 Boone! Saw my taxes in half. 305 00:11:06,501 --> 00:11:08,669 - I got you, bruh! 306 00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:10,505 [Rich Homie Quan's "Type of Way" playing] 307 00:11:10,546 --> 00:11:14,217 all: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! 308 00:11:14,258 --> 00:11:15,968 [all cheering] 309 00:11:16,010 --> 00:11:18,971 - Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 310 00:11:19,013 --> 00:11:24,018 * * 311 00:11:24,060 --> 00:11:26,479 - Cuckoo-cuckoo! Ay-ay-ay-ay! 312 00:11:26,521 --> 00:11:28,731 Hello, my concrete cutie pies. Look at you. 313 00:11:28,773 --> 00:11:30,441 - Hey, Chris! - Hey, girl. 314 00:11:30,483 --> 00:11:32,568 I see you got some new shoes. One lace. 315 00:11:32,610 --> 00:11:35,363 Look at you with that new box and little buckets. 316 00:11:35,405 --> 00:11:37,532 Hey, what's up, player? How you feeling, man? 317 00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:40,368 New cart? That's looking nice. 318 00:11:40,410 --> 00:11:42,078 - [coughing] 319 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:46,165 - Ooh! Oof. [squealing] 320 00:11:46,207 --> 00:11:47,792 - Keep squealing like that, 321 00:11:47,834 --> 00:11:49,210 and you're gonna end up with the yellers, 322 00:11:49,252 --> 00:11:52,046 on the other side of the underpass. 323 00:11:52,088 --> 00:11:53,923 - Cheryl? - Now, is that any way 324 00:11:53,965 --> 00:11:56,134 to greet someone in their home? 325 00:11:56,175 --> 00:11:58,678 Nigga, get your shoes off my good carpet. 326 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:00,430 - Oh, yeah, um-- 327 00:12:00,471 --> 00:12:02,807 - Boy, I'm just playing. We outside. 328 00:12:02,849 --> 00:12:05,351 Come on. Give me a hug. - Okay. 329 00:12:05,393 --> 00:12:09,814 Hey, Cheryl. 330 00:12:09,856 --> 00:12:13,443 What--I'm sorry, you are just-- 331 00:12:13,484 --> 00:12:16,738 God, you were my boss at the casino. 332 00:12:16,779 --> 00:12:18,573 How did you end up-- 333 00:12:18,614 --> 00:12:19,949 - Go ahead. You can say it. 334 00:12:19,991 --> 00:12:22,076 - I'm searching for the right word. 335 00:12:22,118 --> 00:12:25,788 I feel like it's, like, "chronically outdoors." 336 00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:27,957 - Houseless. Homeless. 337 00:12:27,999 --> 00:12:30,460 Unhoused. Displaced. 338 00:12:30,501 --> 00:12:33,046 Residentially-challenged. - I heard that before. 339 00:12:33,087 --> 00:12:35,465 - Financial palsy. - That's new. 340 00:12:35,506 --> 00:12:37,425 - They spend more time coming up with words for this shit 341 00:12:37,467 --> 00:12:38,801 than there are places for me to live. 342 00:12:38,843 --> 00:12:41,304 - I don't know, Cheryl. 343 00:12:41,345 --> 00:12:44,432 You were just the most successful person at our job. 344 00:12:44,474 --> 00:12:46,100 You know what I mean? They let you sign 345 00:12:46,142 --> 00:12:48,436 that piece of paper in the elevator inspection. 346 00:12:48,478 --> 00:12:49,854 I don't understand. 347 00:12:49,896 --> 00:12:51,981 - Oh, there's not much to understand. 348 00:12:52,023 --> 00:12:53,691 I injured my leg 349 00:12:53,733 --> 00:12:56,360 and was out too many days, and they let me go. 350 00:12:56,402 --> 00:13:00,073 One thing led to another, and, well... 351 00:13:01,574 --> 00:13:03,284 - Damn. That's really shitty, Cheryl. 352 00:13:03,326 --> 00:13:06,120 - Yeah. We're all just one torn ACL away 353 00:13:06,162 --> 00:13:08,372 from shitting on the sidewalk. 354 00:13:08,414 --> 00:13:11,918 Trust me, that job does not give a fuck about you. 355 00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,336 You gotta be ready for anything. 356 00:13:13,378 --> 00:13:16,756 - Okay, but I have a five-year plan, right? 357 00:13:16,798 --> 00:13:18,633 That's gotta keep me afloat. 358 00:13:18,674 --> 00:13:21,010 - [laughs] By the time you start getting ready 359 00:13:21,052 --> 00:13:22,929 for the drought, you're already in the desert 360 00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:25,181 drinking your pee. 361 00:13:25,223 --> 00:13:26,641 [echoing] Drinking your pee. 362 00:13:26,682 --> 00:13:28,351 You're already in the desert drinking your pee. 363 00:13:28,393 --> 00:13:29,894 - You're just a fucking penguin. 364 00:13:29,936 --> 00:13:31,270 Keep you squares out of my circle. 365 00:13:31,312 --> 00:13:32,688 And we get paid the same. 366 00:13:32,730 --> 00:13:34,190 - Drinking your pee. 367 00:13:34,232 --> 00:13:35,858 [in slow-mo] Drinking your pee. 368 00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:38,861 [hip-hop music playing] 369 00:13:38,903 --> 00:13:40,905 * * 370 00:13:40,947 --> 00:13:42,615 [knocking on window] 371 00:13:43,449 --> 00:13:46,035 - Come on, anything you can do to help me out. 372 00:13:46,077 --> 00:13:48,371 - Ooh-ooh! 373 00:13:48,413 --> 00:13:51,999 I got you, playboy. No problem! 374 00:13:52,041 --> 00:13:55,336 - Ooh, look like somebody hit the lottery. 375 00:13:55,378 --> 00:13:57,755 - Look what I found! Hold out your hands. 376 00:13:57,797 --> 00:14:02,051 - What the fuck? - Ooh-ooh! 377 00:14:02,093 --> 00:14:05,221 You gonna have a big breakfast. [laughs] 378 00:14:05,263 --> 00:14:07,056 Oh, I sucked all the dust off them shits. 379 00:14:07,098 --> 00:14:09,100 [laughs] - What the fuck? 380 00:14:09,142 --> 00:14:11,310 - Feliz Navidad, broke-ass nigga. 381 00:14:11,352 --> 00:14:14,188 [laughs] - Fuck, man. Come on, man! 382 00:14:14,230 --> 00:14:16,274 - Whoo-ooh-ooh! 383 00:14:16,315 --> 00:14:19,652 Oh, I forgot, playboy. I got some mo'. 384 00:14:19,694 --> 00:14:21,237 - Oh, shit! 385 00:14:21,279 --> 00:14:24,073 - [breathing heavily] 386 00:14:24,115 --> 00:14:25,450 - You found Cheryl. 387 00:14:25,491 --> 00:14:27,952 Yeah, she's like the unhoused madam around here. 388 00:14:27,994 --> 00:14:29,579 Gets 'em all pretty and whatnot. 389 00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:31,539 - What the fuck did I just smoke, Cheryl? 390 00:14:31,581 --> 00:14:33,750 - Don't worry, baby. That's just menthol. 391 00:14:33,791 --> 00:14:35,585 It's the poor man's DMT. 392 00:14:35,626 --> 00:14:38,087 - Ooh, I hope DMT stands for "Dick Mouth Tonight" 393 00:14:38,129 --> 00:14:39,881 with special guest Chris Henson. 394 00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:41,257 - Okay. Not now. 395 00:14:41,299 --> 00:14:43,051 I'm trying to help your little friend. 396 00:14:43,092 --> 00:14:44,594 - Fuck! 397 00:14:44,635 --> 00:14:46,763 Fuck, Sam was right. 398 00:14:46,804 --> 00:14:50,349 If my job can't help me and school can't help me 399 00:14:50,391 --> 00:14:52,894 and my friends can't help me, 400 00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:56,606 my only solution is to just take my L. 401 00:14:56,647 --> 00:14:59,192 But if I'm gonna hit rock bottom, I'ma make sure 402 00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:01,486 there's a nice pillow and some sheets on that rock. 403 00:15:01,527 --> 00:15:04,072 - Oh, you need rocks? I can take you to rocks. 404 00:15:04,113 --> 00:15:05,490 Come on, I'll take you 405 00:15:05,531 --> 00:15:09,077 to the nicest cardboard duvet on the block. 406 00:15:09,118 --> 00:15:10,661 - Cool. 407 00:15:10,703 --> 00:15:13,122 - Success is about balance. 408 00:15:13,164 --> 00:15:16,501 And balance--huh? Huh? Huh? 409 00:15:16,542 --> 00:15:18,294 Is about success. 410 00:15:18,336 --> 00:15:20,129 Watch this. [clears throat] 411 00:15:22,340 --> 00:15:23,800 - Ooh! [applause] 412 00:15:23,841 --> 00:15:27,011 - [laughs] 413 00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:32,225 - Shh, bro. This isn't a game. 414 00:15:32,266 --> 00:15:34,727 - This man is incredible. Look at him. 415 00:15:34,769 --> 00:15:36,479 He's up there with a fucking sleeveless turtleneck 416 00:15:36,521 --> 00:15:37,939 standing like a nigga flamingo. 417 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,816 This is awesome! 418 00:15:39,857 --> 00:15:41,359 - Look at this lost soul. 419 00:15:42,735 --> 00:15:44,570 I don't care if he got 420 00:15:44,612 --> 00:15:46,114 more degrees than a thermometer. 421 00:15:46,155 --> 00:15:48,074 Ain't a single bad bitch on Earth 422 00:15:48,116 --> 00:15:49,492 gonna fuck with a nigga out here 423 00:15:49,534 --> 00:15:50,952 lookin' like a bottle of Fabuloso. 424 00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:53,121 - [laughs] 425 00:15:53,162 --> 00:15:54,622 - Stop. 426 00:15:54,664 --> 00:15:58,000 - Stand up. 427 00:15:58,042 --> 00:15:59,377 Give it to me. 428 00:16:01,045 --> 00:16:02,130 Give it to me. 429 00:16:02,171 --> 00:16:03,798 - All right. All right. 430 00:16:08,136 --> 00:16:09,512 - You can sit down. 431 00:16:12,682 --> 00:16:15,810 I taught y'all better than this! 432 00:16:15,852 --> 00:16:18,438 This ain't a maniflex chain. 433 00:16:18,479 --> 00:16:20,732 You're supposed to turn your pockets green, 434 00:16:20,773 --> 00:16:21,858 not your neck. 435 00:16:21,899 --> 00:16:23,192 - [laughs] [all shushing] 436 00:16:23,234 --> 00:16:25,027 [coughs] Nigga coughing. 437 00:16:25,069 --> 00:16:26,863 [chuckles] 438 00:16:26,904 --> 00:16:29,699 - Now, I'm so sorry, 439 00:16:29,741 --> 00:16:33,995 but you've been possessed by a broke demon, 440 00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:35,830 and y'all know what that means. 441 00:16:35,872 --> 00:16:38,666 all: Flexorcism! Flexorcism! 442 00:16:38,708 --> 00:16:40,418 - Oh, shit. He's about to do a flexorcism. 443 00:16:40,460 --> 00:16:43,838 Don't look away. all: Flexorcism! Flexorcism! 444 00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:46,716 - My brother, do you want this chain? 445 00:16:50,470 --> 00:16:52,847 - Yes. I-- all: Boo! 446 00:16:52,889 --> 00:16:54,307 - Man, it was a gift! 447 00:16:54,348 --> 00:16:58,478 - Nigga, it was a curse from a broke demon. 448 00:16:58,519 --> 00:17:01,564 Whoever gave you that fufu chain hates your guts 449 00:17:01,606 --> 00:17:03,649 and wants to see your downfall. 450 00:17:03,691 --> 00:17:06,778 Now, do you still want this chain? 451 00:17:09,363 --> 00:17:10,907 - Yeah. I do-- - Slap him, Boone! 452 00:17:10,948 --> 00:17:12,658 - Nah. - [scoffs] 453 00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:16,913 - But in life, if you want it... 454 00:17:16,954 --> 00:17:18,289 [crowd gasps] 455 00:17:18,331 --> 00:17:19,624 Nigga, go get it! 456 00:17:19,665 --> 00:17:22,627 all: Nigga, go get it! - Nigga, go get it! 457 00:17:22,668 --> 00:17:24,420 Oh, my God, I didn't know it was gonna be a silly thing. 458 00:17:24,462 --> 00:17:25,588 I would have worn my silly shirt. 459 00:17:25,630 --> 00:17:27,799 It's CatDog going front to back. 460 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:30,093 - Dude, you gotta take it easy, okay? 461 00:17:30,134 --> 00:17:31,511 Boone isn't being funny. 462 00:17:31,552 --> 00:17:34,430 He's spitting facts that could change your life. 463 00:17:34,472 --> 00:17:36,599 This is serious. Be respectful. - Okay. 464 00:17:36,641 --> 00:17:41,354 - Maniflexation is about waking up every morning 465 00:17:41,396 --> 00:17:45,066 and saying to yourself, you're gonna go get it. 466 00:17:45,108 --> 00:17:47,485 You gotta scream into the Booniverse! 467 00:17:47,527 --> 00:17:51,322 Now, join me as we speak in rich nigga tongues. 468 00:17:51,364 --> 00:17:54,033 [speaking gibberish] Big coin. Big check. Big lake. 469 00:17:54,075 --> 00:17:58,621 [all speaking in tongues] 470 00:17:58,663 --> 00:18:01,249 - Sid from the internet. [speaking gibberish] 471 00:18:01,290 --> 00:18:03,042 The net. Money. 472 00:18:03,084 --> 00:18:05,420 [babbling] 473 00:18:05,461 --> 00:18:08,297 - [babbling] Yellow Starburst. Red Starburst. 474 00:18:08,339 --> 00:18:10,633 Num, num, num, taste oh-so-good in my mouth. 475 00:18:10,675 --> 00:18:12,135 - Money. - I like sherbet. 476 00:18:12,176 --> 00:18:14,512 Sherbet ice cream. Oreo milkshake. 477 00:18:14,554 --> 00:18:16,305 Oreo milkshake. Hat. Bite. 478 00:18:16,347 --> 00:18:17,724 - Sit down! - Bite. Bite hat. 479 00:18:23,229 --> 00:18:26,816 - * Putting a knot in my cans * 480 00:18:26,858 --> 00:18:31,028 * Making decorations from Spam * 481 00:18:31,070 --> 00:18:32,613 - Fuck you doing, newbie? 482 00:18:32,655 --> 00:18:37,368 - Oh, I am just trying to get cozy, really. 483 00:18:37,410 --> 00:18:38,828 You know what I mean? Like, I figured 484 00:18:38,870 --> 00:18:40,204 I'd be here any day now, 485 00:18:40,246 --> 00:18:43,624 so just really wanted to give myself a dope setup. 486 00:18:43,666 --> 00:18:45,668 - Hey, is that the Dracaena Janet Craig 487 00:18:45,710 --> 00:18:47,211 that was in that Mexican lady's yard? 488 00:18:47,253 --> 00:18:50,381 - That's the one. - I was gonna take that! 489 00:18:50,423 --> 00:18:52,008 But then I thought, well, 490 00:18:52,050 --> 00:18:53,968 they ain't do too well in direct sunlight, you know? 491 00:18:54,010 --> 00:18:56,471 - Hmm, see, that's why I got that tarp, you know? 492 00:18:56,512 --> 00:18:58,723 Gives you great coverage during peak sun. 493 00:18:58,765 --> 00:19:00,183 - Right. - Yep. 494 00:19:00,224 --> 00:19:02,727 I actually have some clippings propagating in a shoebox, 495 00:19:02,769 --> 00:19:05,772 if you want to grow your own. - Oh, that's cool of you, man. 496 00:19:05,813 --> 00:19:07,815 - Hey, I'll take one. - Okay. 497 00:19:07,857 --> 00:19:10,318 - Hey, I'll even trade you my pet crawfish for it. 498 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:11,694 - Yeah. - Yeah. 499 00:19:11,736 --> 00:19:13,488 Look at that. They do tricks. 500 00:19:13,529 --> 00:19:17,033 Sit. Sit! Sit, Lucy. 501 00:19:17,075 --> 00:19:19,202 Sit! She's a diva. 502 00:19:19,243 --> 00:19:20,495 - Hey. Hey, y'all. - Diva now. 503 00:19:20,536 --> 00:19:21,788 - Hey, y'all, your boy gonna be over there 504 00:19:21,829 --> 00:19:23,247 by the hollowed-out TV if anybody wanna get 505 00:19:23,289 --> 00:19:25,124 they cheeks clapped, you know? 506 00:19:25,166 --> 00:19:27,001 - Move, boy. Get out the way. 507 00:19:27,043 --> 00:19:28,336 - See, you poke a hole, 508 00:19:28,378 --> 00:19:29,462 and then you get a shoestring-- - Uh-oh. Oh. 509 00:19:29,504 --> 00:19:30,963 What's happening to me? 510 00:19:31,005 --> 00:19:33,716 Oh, is that Omarion or a nigga better than him? 511 00:19:33,758 --> 00:19:35,176 Hey, hey. 512 00:19:35,218 --> 00:19:36,386 - The aesthetic I was going for. 513 00:19:36,427 --> 00:19:38,388 - Is this side table mid-century? 514 00:19:38,429 --> 00:19:41,099 - Ooh, it is not. It is this century, and it is 515 00:19:41,140 --> 00:19:45,186 just a piece of driftwood with some tires underneath it. 516 00:19:45,228 --> 00:19:46,687 - Oh, yeah. 517 00:19:46,729 --> 00:19:48,481 - But you could put your 7-Eleven cup 518 00:19:48,523 --> 00:19:49,774 right on that bad boy. 519 00:19:49,816 --> 00:19:52,318 No coaster, you know? Go ahead. Raw dog it. 520 00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:54,695 - Oh, come on, papi. 521 00:19:54,737 --> 00:19:58,241 I'm gonna respect your place. - Ooh-hoo-hoo! 522 00:19:58,282 --> 00:20:02,912 Okay! Classy. May I partake? 523 00:20:02,954 --> 00:20:04,414 - Yeah. Go ahead. 524 00:20:04,455 --> 00:20:06,749 It's pee, but go ahead. - Mm. 525 00:20:06,791 --> 00:20:09,001 - Yo, I'ma need you to come over to my spot 526 00:20:09,043 --> 00:20:10,670 and put some spice on it. 527 00:20:10,712 --> 00:20:12,380 I've been meaning to switch up the layout, 528 00:20:12,422 --> 00:20:14,465 but I ain't got that queer eye, you know? 529 00:20:14,507 --> 00:20:16,843 - Let me tell you this. 530 00:20:16,884 --> 00:20:19,554 I'll flip your tent like a strong breeze. 531 00:20:19,595 --> 00:20:21,389 - Aw, man. - [laughs] 532 00:20:21,431 --> 00:20:24,308 Come on, player! 533 00:20:24,350 --> 00:20:27,395 - Come on, y'all. I got some Sacagawea, man. 534 00:20:27,437 --> 00:20:29,021 Some loose beans. 535 00:20:29,063 --> 00:20:31,232 Some Sacag--do me a little-- just loose beans 536 00:20:31,274 --> 00:20:32,650 and change mixed together. 537 00:20:32,692 --> 00:20:35,486 - The key advantage to tax-deferred growth 538 00:20:35,528 --> 00:20:39,073 is that you won't pay taxes on your untaxed earning 539 00:20:39,115 --> 00:20:42,285 or your contributions until you're required 540 00:20:42,326 --> 00:20:45,913 to start taking distributions, huh, huh? 541 00:20:45,955 --> 00:20:46,998 - Damn. I missed it. 542 00:20:47,039 --> 00:20:49,751 Is he talking about a Roth or a SEP? 543 00:20:49,792 --> 00:20:51,753 - Dog, he had it in the first half. 544 00:20:51,794 --> 00:20:53,087 Now he's just up there bombing. 545 00:20:53,129 --> 00:20:55,423 - Shut up, Jak. 546 00:20:55,465 --> 00:20:57,508 - People here are drawing, man. 547 00:20:57,550 --> 00:20:59,093 This is so bad. 548 00:20:59,135 --> 00:21:01,345 - They're not drawing. They're taking notes. 549 00:21:01,387 --> 00:21:03,181 What do you think they spent the $140 for? 550 00:21:03,222 --> 00:21:05,475 - $140? 551 00:21:05,516 --> 00:21:07,351 Who this nigga think he is, Kathy Griffin? 552 00:21:07,393 --> 00:21:09,479 People paid that much to see this? 553 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,481 - Dude, you need to-- - What? 554 00:21:11,522 --> 00:21:15,151 - You need to stop, okay? You're doing too much. 555 00:21:15,193 --> 00:21:16,319 - I don't know. 556 00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:17,820 I think I'm doing the correct amount. 557 00:21:17,862 --> 00:21:22,033 This nigga Boone is charging people 140 goddamn dollars-- 558 00:21:22,075 --> 00:21:25,453 - Now, see, 559 00:21:25,495 --> 00:21:28,456 here's a brother, okay, 560 00:21:28,498 --> 00:21:30,374 that's hating on education, 561 00:21:30,416 --> 00:21:32,794 because he's possessed by poverty 562 00:21:32,835 --> 00:21:34,670 and won't shut the fuck up while I'm doing my thing. 563 00:21:34,712 --> 00:21:36,464 - I'm not poor, I'm broke, 564 00:21:36,506 --> 00:21:38,091 just like every other person here, 565 00:21:38,132 --> 00:21:41,302 because you stole $140 from all of us. 566 00:21:41,344 --> 00:21:43,429 all: What? - Yeah, yeah. 567 00:21:43,471 --> 00:21:45,640 My friend invited me to this show, 568 00:21:45,681 --> 00:21:47,809 and I didn't know it was gonna be this goddamn much. 569 00:21:47,850 --> 00:21:50,228 You owe us all our money back, especially her. 570 00:21:50,269 --> 00:21:52,897 You owe us $500! 571 00:21:52,939 --> 00:21:55,316 - [laughs] 572 00:21:55,358 --> 00:21:57,568 Listen, you fresh bitch, 573 00:21:57,610 --> 00:22:01,114 people come to this conference to create a future. 574 00:22:01,155 --> 00:22:03,950 Now, why do you have a problem with that? 575 00:22:03,991 --> 00:22:06,035 - Uh, because it's corny as hell. 576 00:22:06,077 --> 00:22:07,703 Why don't you just give everybody their money back, 577 00:22:07,745 --> 00:22:08,830 so they can spend it on something better, 578 00:22:08,871 --> 00:22:10,540 like honey buns or playing kickball, 579 00:22:10,581 --> 00:22:12,083 instead of making us look at this-- 580 00:22:12,125 --> 00:22:13,501 I don't know--fucking Pac-Man. 581 00:22:13,543 --> 00:22:14,877 - Nigga, that's a pie chart. 582 00:22:14,919 --> 00:22:16,838 - It ain't better than honey buns! 583 00:22:16,879 --> 00:22:19,006 Who want to play kickball? Hat. Hat. 584 00:22:19,048 --> 00:22:21,718 Little Mr. T. hair. Come on. Old man that's all in brown. 585 00:22:21,759 --> 00:22:23,594 - Sit down! - This is the problem 586 00:22:23,636 --> 00:22:25,930 with the modern Black man. 587 00:22:25,972 --> 00:22:28,307 They can't even begin to stay ten toes down 588 00:22:28,349 --> 00:22:31,352 because they grown-ass babies who haven't even learned 589 00:22:31,394 --> 00:22:34,272 to stand on they own two feet. 590 00:22:34,313 --> 00:22:36,065 You're not ready to maniflex. 591 00:22:36,107 --> 00:22:38,234 You probably still sleeping on your mama's couch, aren't you? 592 00:22:38,276 --> 00:22:39,944 - Yeah, sometimes I do, 593 00:22:39,986 --> 00:22:41,738 and sometimes I sleep under a tree, 594 00:22:41,779 --> 00:22:43,698 and a pinecone hits me in the head, and I wake up. 595 00:22:43,740 --> 00:22:45,908 Boop. And sometimes, I sleep in people's cars, 596 00:22:45,950 --> 00:22:47,076 in the valet lot. 597 00:22:47,118 --> 00:22:49,370 And sometimes, I sleep in the shower, 598 00:22:49,412 --> 00:22:50,955 like a rainforest critter! 599 00:22:50,997 --> 00:22:53,332 - Stop it! Stop! - Don't! Stop. 600 00:22:53,374 --> 00:22:55,543 Dang, you strong! 601 00:22:55,585 --> 00:22:58,171 - Mr. Boone, I am so sorry. 602 00:22:58,212 --> 00:23:00,506 I thought he was ready to be in public spaces, 603 00:23:00,548 --> 00:23:02,884 but I was very mistaken. 604 00:23:02,925 --> 00:23:05,303 - All right, all right. - Please. 605 00:23:05,344 --> 00:23:06,846 Throw my chain as sacrifice. 606 00:23:06,888 --> 00:23:08,014 - What? 607 00:23:11,100 --> 00:23:13,478 Now you go get it, nigga. 608 00:23:13,519 --> 00:23:14,812 [all gasping] 609 00:23:14,854 --> 00:23:16,856 I thought Boone was the strongest! 610 00:23:16,898 --> 00:23:18,733 Who's my leader now, y'all? 611 00:23:18,775 --> 00:23:20,568 - Now you got a nigga fucked up. 612 00:23:20,610 --> 00:23:21,736 I'm Boone. 613 00:23:21,778 --> 00:23:24,739 I throw chains and I throw these hands. 614 00:23:24,781 --> 00:23:26,783 I'm successful. I know people. 615 00:23:26,824 --> 00:23:29,243 I make one phone call to get you fucked. 616 00:23:29,285 --> 00:23:34,165 I got booty niggas ready to go. I got booty niggas ready to go. 617 00:23:34,207 --> 00:23:35,708 - Well, tell them niggas, 618 00:23:35,750 --> 00:23:37,794 come get these cheeks at the park, 619 00:23:37,835 --> 00:23:40,088 because we playing kickball! 620 00:23:40,129 --> 00:23:42,507 And you better stop teaching all this dumb stuff. 621 00:23:42,548 --> 00:23:44,592 No one knows what Philando literacy is. 622 00:23:44,634 --> 00:23:45,927 - Nigga, it's "financial literacy." 623 00:23:45,968 --> 00:23:47,929 You been here the whole time! - Fuck you! 624 00:23:47,970 --> 00:23:49,138 - Fuck you! - Kickball! 625 00:23:49,180 --> 00:23:51,015 7:00! - I can't believe you, man. 626 00:23:51,057 --> 00:23:52,266 - Nobody wear cleats. - Sorry about that. 627 00:23:52,308 --> 00:23:53,393 - That's cheating! 628 00:23:53,434 --> 00:23:54,936 - I guess I never knew 629 00:23:54,977 --> 00:23:56,896 you could have half-ply toilet paper, though, you know? 630 00:23:56,938 --> 00:23:57,980 - Bastard. 631 00:23:58,022 --> 00:23:59,774 You were supposed to be my bang bro. 632 00:23:59,816 --> 00:24:01,442 - Christopher, are you drunk? 633 00:24:01,484 --> 00:24:02,944 - Yes I am, Langstopher. 634 00:24:02,985 --> 00:24:06,823 - Okay, three hours ago, I was spiraling on menthol, 635 00:24:06,864 --> 00:24:09,117 but it turns out this is the first thing 636 00:24:09,158 --> 00:24:10,785 I'm actually good at. 637 00:24:10,827 --> 00:24:13,830 - Oh, I don't give a d-d-damn, Nate Berkus. 638 00:24:13,871 --> 00:24:15,706 You're fucking my situation up, man. 639 00:24:15,748 --> 00:24:16,958 All right, you're showing 'em a rug, 640 00:24:16,999 --> 00:24:18,960 and then next, they got Wi-Fi. 641 00:24:19,001 --> 00:24:21,087 Then they getting mail. Then they got a house. 642 00:24:21,129 --> 00:24:23,381 Then the coochie staler than a open bag of chips. 643 00:24:23,423 --> 00:24:24,799 [siren wails] - Okay, Chris, 644 00:24:24,841 --> 00:24:26,134 you're getting a bit-- - All right, y'all. 645 00:24:26,175 --> 00:24:27,343 Time to break it up. 646 00:24:27,385 --> 00:24:29,137 - Oh, shit! 647 00:24:29,178 --> 00:24:31,639 [chatter] 648 00:24:33,850 --> 00:24:37,770 - You gotta move east or hit a shelter. 649 00:24:37,812 --> 00:24:40,064 - Hey, Jarvis. Get a load of this. 650 00:24:40,106 --> 00:24:42,108 They're over here making egalitarian shit. 651 00:24:42,150 --> 00:24:45,486 - Oh, no, Adam. This is lavender, see? 652 00:24:45,528 --> 00:24:49,073 - Hey! you can't do that to us! 653 00:24:49,115 --> 00:24:51,033 - You're right. 654 00:24:51,075 --> 00:24:52,952 Bodycams off. 655 00:24:52,994 --> 00:24:56,706 - What? Can't you see I was trying to build something nice 656 00:24:56,748 --> 00:24:58,166 for these people? 657 00:24:58,207 --> 00:24:59,584 Instead of bullying us, 658 00:24:59,625 --> 00:25:03,004 why don't you bully the people who put us here, huh? 659 00:25:03,046 --> 00:25:06,007 Like the casino or the steel industry 660 00:25:06,049 --> 00:25:08,885 or the fat cats down in Washington. 661 00:25:08,926 --> 00:25:13,681 Today, we have had enough, and like Dikembe Mutombo says, 662 00:25:13,723 --> 00:25:15,308 "No, no, no! 663 00:25:15,349 --> 00:25:17,185 We're not gonna take it!" 664 00:25:17,226 --> 00:25:19,479 Who's with me? 665 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:21,773 - Yo, man. Chill. 666 00:25:21,814 --> 00:25:23,107 Chill, my brother. 667 00:25:23,149 --> 00:25:25,068 You gonna fuck it up for all of us. 668 00:25:25,109 --> 00:25:26,694 - Excuse me? - Just chill. 669 00:25:26,736 --> 00:25:28,946 - We got a good rhythm going on around here. 670 00:25:28,988 --> 00:25:31,074 We sleep where we ain't supposed to, 671 00:25:31,115 --> 00:25:32,742 then they show up, and we leave. 672 00:25:32,784 --> 00:25:35,244 Nobody gets hit, nobody goes to jail, 673 00:25:35,286 --> 00:25:36,579 and we'll be back next month 674 00:25:36,621 --> 00:25:39,207 when they move us from Smokey's on the East Side. 675 00:25:39,248 --> 00:25:41,667 If you keep doing all this Kwame Ture shit, 676 00:25:41,709 --> 00:25:42,668 somebody's gonna get hurt. 677 00:25:42,710 --> 00:25:44,212 - I don't care what you said. 678 00:25:44,253 --> 00:25:46,881 I don't care that they don't believe in themselves, 679 00:25:46,923 --> 00:25:49,008 because I believe in me. 680 00:25:49,050 --> 00:25:52,053 I'm not a penguin. I'm a bird that can fly. 681 00:25:52,095 --> 00:25:55,515 Fly high in the sky, like a peacock, and no-- 682 00:25:55,556 --> 00:25:56,891 - I'm gonna use this flashlight 683 00:25:56,933 --> 00:25:58,309 to break every tooth in your head. 684 00:25:58,351 --> 00:26:00,144 - Okay, well, you could have said that the first time. 685 00:26:00,186 --> 00:26:01,562 Run, Cheryl! 686 00:26:01,604 --> 00:26:03,606 - Let's move, guys! 687 00:26:04,857 --> 00:26:09,195 - I couldn't even be homeless, and I have a home. 688 00:26:09,237 --> 00:26:10,947 I mean, how do y'all deal with this? 689 00:26:10,988 --> 00:26:14,075 - You know, some people see us out there trying to get fed 690 00:26:14,117 --> 00:26:16,244 and have a nice day, and they think, 691 00:26:16,285 --> 00:26:19,288 "Hell, nah. Hell to the fuck nah." 692 00:26:19,330 --> 00:26:22,250 They say there's a program. The program ass. 693 00:26:22,291 --> 00:26:26,087 Now you back at square one. It's a constant cycle. 694 00:26:26,129 --> 00:26:29,132 That's why we like Chris, because at the end of the day, 695 00:26:29,173 --> 00:26:31,884 he's just a big dummy we can run through, you know? 696 00:26:31,926 --> 00:26:35,263 Sure, we need food and beds and all that other stuff, 697 00:26:35,304 --> 00:26:37,265 but we need thots too. 698 00:26:37,306 --> 00:26:39,308 Chris doesn't see us as homeless. 699 00:26:39,350 --> 00:26:41,102 He sees us as sex objects. 700 00:26:41,144 --> 00:26:44,480 - Ah, ah, ah, correction. I value you as sex objects. 701 00:26:44,522 --> 00:26:46,774 Who's the hero now, nigga? 702 00:26:46,816 --> 00:26:49,610 - Yeah, but okay, what if I have kids someday, 703 00:26:49,652 --> 00:26:51,779 and I can't give 'em the safety net 704 00:26:51,821 --> 00:26:52,989 to survive this shit 705 00:26:53,030 --> 00:26:55,408 because I'm too busy out on the streets, 706 00:26:55,450 --> 00:26:58,161 getting bounced around by cops and thots? 707 00:26:58,202 --> 00:26:59,412 - Come on, man. 708 00:26:59,454 --> 00:27:01,998 You are not gonna be homeless, all right, ever. 709 00:27:02,039 --> 00:27:04,375 And even if you were, you know people. 710 00:27:04,417 --> 00:27:06,627 Cool people who wouldn't just come down to your tent 711 00:27:06,669 --> 00:27:08,004 to fuck on you. 712 00:27:08,046 --> 00:27:09,630 They'd bring you, like, Bluetooth speakers 713 00:27:09,672 --> 00:27:10,798 and sandwich meat 714 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,134 and whatever khakis you like to wear. 715 00:27:13,176 --> 00:27:14,844 - Really? - Yes, man. 716 00:27:14,886 --> 00:27:17,138 Quit being so scared about your future. 717 00:27:17,180 --> 00:27:19,640 You need to be worried about your present life, right now, 718 00:27:19,682 --> 00:27:21,184 'cause you ain't got no girlfriend. 719 00:27:21,225 --> 00:27:22,810 Your diet is bad. 720 00:27:22,852 --> 00:27:24,979 You walk around like you trying to sneak out your mama house. 721 00:27:25,021 --> 00:27:28,316 Every time you walk upstairs, you, "Yep. Yep. Yep." 722 00:27:28,357 --> 00:27:30,985 And I don't even know what that is called. 723 00:27:31,027 --> 00:27:33,154 You wash all your clothes with the towels. 724 00:27:33,196 --> 00:27:35,239 - Oh, yeah, and if I'm being completely honest, 725 00:27:35,281 --> 00:27:37,742 your design taste is a little pedestrian. 726 00:27:37,784 --> 00:27:41,996 - Pedestrian? Ma'am, you sleep outside. 727 00:27:42,038 --> 00:27:44,665 - Oh, okay, so just because I'm homeless, 728 00:27:44,707 --> 00:27:46,417 I can't have an aesthetic? 729 00:27:46,459 --> 00:27:49,295 You are very pretentious, Hermit Miller. 730 00:27:49,337 --> 00:27:50,713 - [laughs] 731 00:27:50,755 --> 00:27:53,883 She called you a crab with a last name. 732 00:27:53,925 --> 00:27:57,678 - Stupid raccoon bitch. I'll kill you. 733 00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:59,722 [clapping, cheering] 734 00:27:59,764 --> 00:28:03,142 - Yes! 735 00:28:03,184 --> 00:28:05,269 [laughter] - And she was like, 736 00:28:05,311 --> 00:28:08,314 "Boone, take my chain as sacrifice." 737 00:28:08,356 --> 00:28:10,983 She needs him, dog. It's so funny. 738 00:28:11,025 --> 00:28:12,443 She'll be riding Boone's dick like-- 739 00:28:12,485 --> 00:28:15,530 [imitating motorcycle] 740 00:28:15,571 --> 00:28:17,907 - Shut up. I don't need Boone. 741 00:28:17,949 --> 00:28:20,410 It's just nice to be motivated by a outside source. 742 00:28:20,451 --> 00:28:22,036 Sometimes, you gotta see it in someone else 743 00:28:22,078 --> 00:28:23,246 so you can see it in yourself. 744 00:28:23,287 --> 00:28:27,375 - Yeah. Like the dougie. - Sure. 745 00:28:27,417 --> 00:28:29,419 Boone puts confident language in my head 746 00:28:29,460 --> 00:28:31,003 and a battery in my back. 747 00:28:31,045 --> 00:28:33,047 If you don't have that as a Black person in America, 748 00:28:33,089 --> 00:28:35,341 you gonna lose it eventually. 749 00:28:35,383 --> 00:28:36,718 It's crazy for us. 750 00:28:36,759 --> 00:28:40,388 - I guess, bro, but, you know, 751 00:28:40,430 --> 00:28:43,057 he did say he was gonna get me fucked by some booty men. 752 00:28:43,099 --> 00:28:45,560 - I'm sorry. What? - Yeah, so go crazy. 753 00:28:45,601 --> 00:28:46,894 - Cheers to that. 754 00:28:46,936 --> 00:28:49,397 - Hey, to booty men. - Cheers. 755 00:28:49,439 --> 00:28:50,773 [cheering] 756 00:28:50,815 --> 00:28:51,941 - Ohh! - That's what 757 00:28:51,983 --> 00:28:53,067 I'm talking about, Cheryl! - Go crazy! 758 00:28:53,109 --> 00:28:54,652 - Damn! [all cheering] 759 00:28:54,694 --> 00:28:56,070 - Go! Go, girl! - Go win some! 760 00:28:56,112 --> 00:28:57,864 Oh, my God, look! - Look at that. 761 00:28:57,905 --> 00:28:59,824 - Nigga, is that my chain? 762 00:28:59,866 --> 00:29:01,868 - Yeah! Go, Cheryl! - Yeah! 763 00:29:02,785 --> 00:29:05,705 [hip-hop music] 764 00:29:05,747 --> 00:29:12,462 * *