1 00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:11,179 - * Sunny days, outside * 2 00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:13,806 - Aw, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, 3 00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,600 guess who's pee was burning earlier, 4 00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:17,769 but the real problem was just his diet? 5 00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:18,770 Ha. 6 00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:20,271 It's me, ya boy! 7 00:00:20,313 --> 00:00:22,440 Chris "Cranberry" Henson. 8 00:00:22,482 --> 00:00:23,608 Ladies call me the Cran Man 9 00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:25,193 'cause sometimes I get to cran it in, 10 00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:26,319 you know what I'm talking about? 11 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,445 Some of the balls and some of the taint, 12 00:00:27,487 --> 00:00:29,030 a little bit of taint. - Chris. Chris! 13 00:00:29,072 --> 00:00:30,281 Go back out, and come back in better. 14 00:00:30,323 --> 00:00:32,366 - Oh, was that no bueno? - No. 15 00:00:32,408 --> 00:00:33,576 - 'Cause I was gonna wear all white, 16 00:00:33,618 --> 00:00:34,452 you know what I mean, stand on your roof 17 00:00:34,494 --> 00:00:35,620 like a Boyz II Men member 18 00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:36,871 or Shawn Michaels at the WrestleMania, 19 00:00:36,913 --> 00:00:38,581 you know what I mean, but I don't wear white 20 00:00:38,623 --> 00:00:40,583 after my birthday because of all the loose period sex I had. 21 00:00:40,625 --> 00:00:43,711 I ruined all the mattresses. - No. No, no, no. 22 00:00:43,753 --> 00:00:44,879 - I don't care what time of the month it is. 23 00:00:44,921 --> 00:00:46,923 It's our time. - Chris, take this sage 24 00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:49,258 and smudge until you're ready to act right. 25 00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:50,635 - You give me a big ass blunt all you want, 26 00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:51,886 that's not gonna to save the mattresses 27 00:00:51,928 --> 00:00:52,970 from what I did to 'em. 28 00:00:53,012 --> 00:00:54,889 Ruined 'em forever. 29 00:00:54,931 --> 00:00:57,975 Mm! Oh, this is not-- oh, I get what this is. 30 00:00:58,017 --> 00:01:00,978 [mellow hip-hop music] 31 00:01:01,020 --> 00:01:03,314 * * 32 00:01:03,356 --> 00:01:04,982 - It's 2022. 33 00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:07,318 Now, why hasn't there been a Black Ronald McDonald yet? 34 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:08,569 - They wouldn't be shit without us. 35 00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:11,656 French fries? That's us. Hamburgers? That's us. 36 00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:13,574 Who you think build them arches? Who? 37 00:01:13,616 --> 00:01:16,494 - You know, I took my son to the PlayPlace and he said, 38 00:01:16,536 --> 00:01:19,372 "Daddy, can I be Ronald McDonald one day?" 39 00:01:19,414 --> 00:01:21,332 And I just had to look him in the eye and say, 40 00:01:21,374 --> 00:01:23,042 "I don't know, son. 41 00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:24,502 I just don't know." 42 00:01:24,544 --> 00:01:27,088 - Hey, I--I don't know if she Black, 43 00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:30,758 but I heard Wendy got a fat ass under that headshot. 44 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:33,720 [laughter] 45 00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:42,478 - Ay, I thought y'all had a pool. 46 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,147 - Jak, you come here all the time. 47 00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:45,690 When have you ever seen a pool? 48 00:01:45,732 --> 00:01:47,525 - I don't know, I thought it was like a cool reveal, 49 00:01:47,567 --> 00:01:50,194 like the Batmobile or a C-section scar. 50 00:01:50,236 --> 00:01:51,863 - You know what? I'm having a good day. 51 00:01:51,904 --> 00:01:54,365 So I'm gonna give you three Jak shenanigans. 52 00:01:54,407 --> 00:01:56,617 - Three? Yeah, that's more than usual! 53 00:01:56,659 --> 00:01:58,286 Barbecue! 54 00:01:58,327 --> 00:01:59,996 Hey Chris, they got rid of their pool. 55 00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,748 - Oh, they never had--okay. 56 00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:05,334 Hey, Nina, which one of y'all normal-faced friends 57 00:02:05,376 --> 00:02:07,754 is available for this barbecutie? 58 00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,756 - I don't think this is the place for you, Chris. 59 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:13,134 - Oh, you sound ridiculous. What do you mean? 60 00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:14,552 Barbecue's where I clean up at. 61 00:02:14,594 --> 00:02:16,429 What? Women out here, drinking, 62 00:02:16,471 --> 00:02:19,015 eating greasy foods, catching heat exhaustion. 63 00:02:19,057 --> 00:02:20,600 Shit, by nightfall, 64 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:24,020 got you some Tums and a soft part of a couch. 65 00:02:24,062 --> 00:02:25,480 Cheeks. You know what I'm talking about? 66 00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:27,523 Ah, cheeks. Yow! Cheeks. 67 00:02:27,565 --> 00:02:28,983 - Got you. - Yeah. 68 00:02:29,025 --> 00:02:30,234 - But I'ma keep it real with you, Chris. 69 00:02:30,276 --> 00:02:31,736 - Oh, please do. 70 00:02:31,778 --> 00:02:33,738 - Nobody really likes you here. 71 00:02:33,780 --> 00:02:35,907 I mean, the niggas don't wanna hear you freestyle, 72 00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:37,283 and the bitches don't wanna to get hit on 73 00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:39,077 or hear you freestyle. 74 00:02:39,118 --> 00:02:40,453 - Oh, okay. 75 00:02:40,495 --> 00:02:42,330 So niggas don't like real hip-hop no more. 76 00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:44,624 Can't help that. Shit, let the culture die. 77 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:47,502 Anyway, for real, though. Where your new friends at? 78 00:02:47,543 --> 00:02:48,836 - I do not make friends with women 79 00:02:48,878 --> 00:02:50,380 just so you can have sex with them. 80 00:02:50,421 --> 00:02:51,672 - Why not? - No. 81 00:02:51,714 --> 00:02:53,216 Can't you find other women 82 00:02:53,257 --> 00:02:54,592 outside of my circle to disappoint? 83 00:02:54,634 --> 00:02:55,885 - But why would I go out to eat 84 00:02:55,927 --> 00:02:58,429 when my friend got pussy in the fridge? 85 00:02:58,471 --> 00:03:01,015 - Well, the fridge is empty, my nigga. 86 00:03:01,057 --> 00:03:02,850 - Tch. - Yeah. 87 00:03:02,892 --> 00:03:05,478 [dramatic sting] No, not right there. Mm-mm. 88 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,397 [dramatic sting] Don't even touch that. 89 00:03:07,438 --> 00:03:10,191 Not over there. No, don't look that way. 90 00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:11,526 Not over there under the tree. 91 00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:12,777 - Even these under the tree bitches? 92 00:03:12,819 --> 00:03:14,862 - Not the tree bitches. - Huh. 93 00:03:14,904 --> 00:03:17,240 Wow. - Sorry. 94 00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:18,866 - Wow! All right. 95 00:03:18,908 --> 00:03:21,035 Well, you bitches are gon' rue the day 96 00:03:21,077 --> 00:03:22,870 you felt disrespected by me. 97 00:03:22,912 --> 00:03:24,789 Yeah. Eat that. Huh. 98 00:03:24,831 --> 00:03:26,499 Hope your braids unravel, bitch. 99 00:03:26,541 --> 00:03:29,168 [chuckles] I'll be back. 100 00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:32,505 - * Sunny days, outside * 101 00:03:32,547 --> 00:03:36,342 * * 102 00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:38,469 - Hey. - What's up, baby? 103 00:03:39,721 --> 00:03:41,597 - I'm just so grateful for you, baby. 104 00:03:41,639 --> 00:03:44,809 - And I'm glad you know you should be grateful. 105 00:03:44,851 --> 00:03:47,478 - I'm just glad you're not like these other idiots around here. 106 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:49,522 Remember when I first met you? 107 00:03:49,564 --> 00:03:51,482 You was in a corner at that Trillville concert 108 00:03:51,524 --> 00:03:53,443 trying to balance that empty bottle of Martel's 109 00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:55,194 on your nose like a krunk seal. 110 00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:56,362 - Yeah. - Yeah. 111 00:03:56,404 --> 00:03:57,697 - But look at me now. - Yeah. 112 00:03:57,739 --> 00:03:59,949 - Grilling, Hawaiian shirt. - Oh! 113 00:03:59,991 --> 00:04:01,784 - Wearing shoes my doctor prescribed. 114 00:04:01,826 --> 00:04:03,828 - [laughs] Keep describing that outfit 115 00:04:03,870 --> 00:04:06,289 like that, and I'ma soak right through my panties. 116 00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:08,332 - Mm. - Mm-hmm. 117 00:04:08,374 --> 00:04:10,668 - Samm-er Jammers looking better than they did last year. 118 00:04:10,710 --> 00:04:12,712 - Yeah. You better hurry up. 119 00:04:12,754 --> 00:04:14,714 You know people hate when you make 'em wait all day. 120 00:04:14,756 --> 00:04:18,009 Bianca fat ass already talking about ordering a pizza. 121 00:04:18,051 --> 00:04:20,803 - I got you. - All right. Give me some. Mm. 122 00:04:20,845 --> 00:04:22,180 Glad to have you all to myself. 123 00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:23,723 - All righty. - All right. 124 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,851 - Ooh, smooth, Sammy. 125 00:04:26,893 --> 00:04:28,728 You got em' wrapped around your finger. 126 00:04:30,897 --> 00:04:32,815 - Look, we have more Black people 127 00:04:32,857 --> 00:04:35,026 in positions of power than ever before. 128 00:04:35,068 --> 00:04:38,780 Black CEOs, Black lawmakers, Black directors. 129 00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:41,741 Shit, a strong gust of wind from Wakanda? 130 00:04:41,783 --> 00:04:43,826 Fuck around and have a Black woman president. 131 00:04:43,868 --> 00:04:45,870 [laughter] 132 00:04:45,912 --> 00:04:47,872 I'm just sayin', we can't be accepting 133 00:04:47,914 --> 00:04:50,333 these empty gestures from the whites. 134 00:04:50,374 --> 00:04:51,667 I mean, come on. 135 00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:54,295 Painting BLM on our streets, 136 00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:57,548 wearing Kente cloth to a Run the Jewels concert. 137 00:04:57,590 --> 00:05:00,259 - And they do it at the worst fucking time. 138 00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:04,555 - Exactly, exactly. It-- look, if I am in the bathroom 139 00:05:04,597 --> 00:05:06,557 of a Buffalo Wild Wings 140 00:05:06,599 --> 00:05:08,768 and some white dude walks in talking about, 141 00:05:08,810 --> 00:05:11,646 "Don't worry, I check my privilege at the door." 142 00:05:11,687 --> 00:05:13,940 I'd be like, "Sir, can't you see, 143 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:16,359 I'm trying to jerk off in this Buffalo Wild Wing?" 144 00:05:16,401 --> 00:05:17,527 [laughter] You know? 145 00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:18,861 I mean, come on. 146 00:05:18,903 --> 00:05:20,613 I thought I was the only one 147 00:05:20,655 --> 00:05:24,200 projecting my white guilt on these bathroom walls. 148 00:05:24,242 --> 00:05:26,035 - Stop, I can't with you. 149 00:05:26,077 --> 00:05:28,162 - I'm playing. You know I don't jerk off in there. 150 00:05:28,204 --> 00:05:29,414 - I don't know, nigga, I just met you. 151 00:05:29,455 --> 00:05:31,916 [laughter] 152 00:05:31,958 --> 00:05:33,876 - All I'm saying-- look, all I'm saying is 153 00:05:33,918 --> 00:05:35,753 if I'm being honest, we're fucked. 154 00:05:35,795 --> 00:05:38,172 We're fucked. You know, at this point, 155 00:05:38,214 --> 00:05:41,175 history is gonna remember Charlemagne Tha God 156 00:05:41,217 --> 00:05:43,010 as a civil rights leader. 157 00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:44,470 It's tragic, really. 158 00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:46,639 I mean, come on, people. Read a book. 159 00:05:46,681 --> 00:05:48,891 [laughter] - You must get a lot of time 160 00:05:48,933 --> 00:05:51,769 to read when you're in the house all day. 161 00:05:54,355 --> 00:05:56,524 - I'm sorry, what? 162 00:05:56,566 --> 00:05:58,192 - I was just making a joke, man. 163 00:05:58,234 --> 00:06:00,820 - Yeah, no, I-- I understood the joke, 164 00:06:00,862 --> 00:06:04,240 but I'm a slave in that joke. 165 00:06:04,282 --> 00:06:06,534 So I'm just trying to understand what's funny. 166 00:06:06,576 --> 00:06:07,910 - It's no big deal. I'm just fucking with you 167 00:06:07,952 --> 00:06:09,454 for acting light-skinned, dude. 168 00:06:09,495 --> 00:06:12,415 [cheesy somber music] 169 00:06:12,457 --> 00:06:19,547 * * 170 00:06:21,174 --> 00:06:23,676 - But you understand how that's problematic, 171 00:06:23,718 --> 00:06:25,720 don't you, dude? Huh? 172 00:06:25,762 --> 00:06:27,722 I mean, because what does me being light-skinned 173 00:06:27,764 --> 00:06:29,265 have to do with anything? 174 00:06:29,307 --> 00:06:30,975 You're corpse-skinned. Huh? 175 00:06:31,017 --> 00:06:32,977 Would that be okay if I said, look at you, 176 00:06:33,019 --> 00:06:35,354 rest in piss 'cause you're dead. 177 00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:36,647 - Oh! - You're fucking dead! 178 00:06:36,689 --> 00:06:38,232 - Come here! - No, no, Nina! 179 00:06:38,274 --> 00:06:41,360 You got fuckin' zombies hanging out and eating potato salad 180 00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:42,987 at your fuckin' party! 181 00:06:43,029 --> 00:06:44,155 'Cause he dead. - Bro, calm down. 182 00:06:44,197 --> 00:06:45,907 He's fuckin' dead! 183 00:06:46,699 --> 00:06:50,161 No! Unhand me! He called me a house slave. 184 00:06:50,203 --> 00:06:52,413 - Look. 185 00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:53,664 Stir. Now. 186 00:06:53,706 --> 00:06:56,459 - Okay. Now you've got a white man 187 00:06:56,501 --> 00:06:58,961 in your home calling me the help, 188 00:06:59,003 --> 00:07:01,130 and you've got me inside helping? 189 00:07:01,172 --> 00:07:03,091 - You need to relax. 190 00:07:03,132 --> 00:07:04,634 He said you read. It's a compliment. 191 00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:08,012 - Okay. Negro illiteracy is funny to you now? 192 00:07:08,054 --> 00:07:10,390 Fantasia would roll over in her grave. 193 00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:13,684 - First of all, you not gonna yell at me in my house, 194 00:07:13,726 --> 00:07:14,977 and you not gonna ruin my Sunday 195 00:07:15,019 --> 00:07:16,646 just because you can't take a joke. 196 00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:17,939 - But it wasn't a joke. 197 00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:20,358 That white devil disrespected me. 198 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,985 And now you're disrespecting me by minimizing it. 199 00:07:23,027 --> 00:07:25,696 - Jesus Christ, calm down. 200 00:07:25,738 --> 00:07:26,864 You know, for a house slave, 201 00:07:26,906 --> 00:07:28,991 you sure don't have an indoor voice. 202 00:07:30,159 --> 00:07:31,953 You acting real light-skinned right now. 203 00:07:31,994 --> 00:07:34,497 [laughs] That was good. 204 00:07:34,539 --> 00:07:40,211 * * 205 00:07:40,253 --> 00:07:41,838 - Bitch, what? 206 00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:43,381 - Who the fuck you talkin' to? 207 00:07:43,423 --> 00:07:45,425 - Huh? No. Oh, it's a-- 208 00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:46,718 It's a bitch outside. 209 00:07:46,759 --> 00:07:47,969 - Yeah. - She loud. 210 00:07:48,010 --> 00:07:50,054 - Bet it is the bitch outside. 211 00:07:50,096 --> 00:07:52,181 Well, all I know is you better not come back outside 212 00:07:52,223 --> 00:07:53,641 until you get your shit together. 213 00:07:55,226 --> 00:07:59,772 Oh, oh, and if I see you near Friday again, 214 00:07:59,814 --> 00:08:03,317 I'ma make y'all niggas kiss. [squeals, laughs] 215 00:08:03,359 --> 00:08:05,236 - I'll never kiss Friday! 216 00:08:05,278 --> 00:08:06,446 You can't make me! 217 00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:08,072 I'd rather eat bugs! 218 00:08:10,908 --> 00:08:12,952 - Reebok? Aw, fuck. 219 00:08:12,994 --> 00:08:15,037 What are you doing here, man? Are you dead? 220 00:08:15,079 --> 00:08:17,498 - Nah, I'm in Jersey. Reebok just here 221 00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:20,668 to show you how you became the fuck nigga you are today. 222 00:08:20,710 --> 00:08:22,378 - Shit! 223 00:08:22,420 --> 00:08:24,714 I knew I shouldn't have smoked that weed Chauncey gave me. 224 00:08:24,756 --> 00:08:28,009 He had it loose in his pockets with some scratch ticket dust. 225 00:08:28,051 --> 00:08:29,886 - You remember when your cousin Shay would get upset 226 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,721 when I was giving you game? 227 00:08:31,763 --> 00:08:32,930 She'd catch me with a bitch 228 00:08:32,972 --> 00:08:35,224 and throw all my shit out on the lawn. 229 00:08:35,266 --> 00:08:37,351 You'd be peeping out the window all curious, 230 00:08:37,393 --> 00:08:39,771 wearing your Transformer jammies talking about, 231 00:08:39,812 --> 00:08:41,731 "I know how to spell computer." 232 00:08:41,773 --> 00:08:43,733 - C-O-M-P-- 233 00:08:43,775 --> 00:08:45,568 - See, that's why I fucks with you. 234 00:08:45,610 --> 00:08:48,780 So after she'd storm off, I'd give you a hundred bucks 235 00:08:48,821 --> 00:08:50,740 to get up all my belongings and shit. 236 00:08:50,782 --> 00:08:52,116 A few weeks later, 237 00:08:52,158 --> 00:08:53,868 I eat another stripper's booty, 238 00:08:53,910 --> 00:08:55,244 and we'd do it again. 239 00:08:55,286 --> 00:08:56,746 Circle of trife. 240 00:08:56,788 --> 00:08:58,956 - Copped a winter coat when you was smashing them twins. 241 00:08:58,998 --> 00:09:01,084 - But look at you now. 242 00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:02,794 You just like Reebok. 243 00:09:02,835 --> 00:09:04,962 I can see it in the eyes. 244 00:09:05,004 --> 00:09:07,048 - Ain't none of my shit been thrown in the street. 245 00:09:07,090 --> 00:09:10,051 - Not yet. But she'll find out. They always do. 246 00:09:11,928 --> 00:09:13,471 Don't shut the door on family, Sam. 247 00:09:13,513 --> 00:09:15,431 Don't shut the door! No! 248 00:09:15,473 --> 00:09:18,142 - I don't mean to rush the process, Joel Embiid, 249 00:09:18,184 --> 00:09:20,395 but you got a party full of hungry fans awaiting. 250 00:09:20,436 --> 00:09:22,730 - This is a very delicate situation, okay? 251 00:09:22,772 --> 00:09:24,315 - Right. - You got to look at it 252 00:09:24,357 --> 00:09:26,651 as if each of these burgers is coming back from an ACL tear. 253 00:09:26,692 --> 00:09:28,069 - Mm. - Now, do you want 254 00:09:28,111 --> 00:09:30,947 a Kevin Durant or do you want a Grant Hill? 255 00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:33,116 - Yeah, I'm not that into hoopty-doops 256 00:09:33,157 --> 00:09:34,909 and dribble scribbles, bitch. 257 00:09:34,951 --> 00:09:37,370 I was just being cute. So--so talk regular. 258 00:09:37,412 --> 00:09:38,704 - They'll be ready when they're ready, babe. 259 00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:40,873 - Okay. 260 00:09:40,915 --> 00:09:43,292 - Bitches wanna hold me accountable, okay. 261 00:09:43,334 --> 00:09:44,961 I'm not welcome at this party, 262 00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:46,379 well, y'all not welcome at my party. 263 00:09:49,716 --> 00:09:51,884 That's right, big man. Yep. 264 00:09:51,926 --> 00:09:54,095 Me and you, we one in the same, bro, bro. 265 00:09:54,137 --> 00:09:57,014 You know what I mean? Lions in a field 266 00:09:57,056 --> 00:09:59,016 of nappy-headed jackals. 267 00:09:59,058 --> 00:10:00,768 You know, we used to live in a world, bro, 268 00:10:00,810 --> 00:10:04,647 where lions could wake up kings of all they see, you know? 269 00:10:04,689 --> 00:10:06,774 Throw some lion dick here. 270 00:10:06,816 --> 00:10:09,026 Kill a gazelle. Fuck it, maybe. 271 00:10:09,068 --> 00:10:11,487 Hold a lion cub over a cliff, 272 00:10:11,529 --> 00:10:12,989 and then drop that little motherfucker 273 00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:14,741 'cause he ain't gonna replace me. 274 00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:16,409 Nah, nah. 275 00:10:16,451 --> 00:10:18,953 Now they want lions to be family men. 276 00:10:18,995 --> 00:10:21,205 Why the fuck they do that? 277 00:10:21,247 --> 00:10:23,374 When's the last time you see a lion in a PTA meeting? 278 00:10:23,416 --> 00:10:25,334 Fuck around, I'll kill everybody in that bitch. 279 00:10:25,376 --> 00:10:27,336 You know what I mean? - [burps] 280 00:10:27,378 --> 00:10:28,671 - You right. 281 00:10:28,713 --> 00:10:31,257 You right, man. Why should I apologize to prey? 282 00:10:31,299 --> 00:10:33,718 Who am I, Ellen? Fuck outta here. 283 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:36,012 Pause that shit. 284 00:10:36,054 --> 00:10:38,431 Exactly, my nigga. You so wise. 285 00:10:38,473 --> 00:10:40,767 You are so wise. I'ma skip that apology. 286 00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:42,060 Fuck that apology, man. 287 00:10:42,101 --> 00:10:44,103 I'm gonna stand in my own VIP section 288 00:10:44,145 --> 00:10:46,689 and make all these hoes jealous of me. 289 00:10:46,731 --> 00:10:49,233 VIC? Ah. 290 00:10:49,275 --> 00:10:52,695 VIC. I like the sound of that shit, right? 291 00:10:52,737 --> 00:10:54,864 VIC? 292 00:10:54,906 --> 00:10:56,532 You in. You right there. 293 00:10:56,574 --> 00:10:59,118 Ah, ah, ah. Gah, gah, gah. Nah, nah, nah. 294 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,204 - I can't sit down? You have a lot of seats. 295 00:11:01,245 --> 00:11:04,373 - Mm-mm. Not in that outfit. Not in them shoes. 296 00:11:04,415 --> 00:11:05,708 - What are you talking about? These are the shoes 297 00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:07,543 that Jesus wore when he gave everybody tilapia. 298 00:11:07,585 --> 00:11:09,420 - We at capacity for niggas, but no hoes. 299 00:11:09,462 --> 00:11:11,714 - There's a lot of seats. - * And I don't see no hoes * 300 00:11:11,756 --> 00:11:13,633 With you. To the side. 301 00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:15,718 - But I'm your cousin. - Ooh, better roll to the side. 302 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,513 - But I'm your friend. - Yah, to the side. 303 00:11:18,554 --> 00:11:20,890 - Oh-- - And to the--walk with me. 304 00:11:20,932 --> 00:11:23,559 To the side. Thank you, my nigga. 305 00:11:23,601 --> 00:11:27,063 All right. Oh, cover's $200 so you better find that. 306 00:11:27,105 --> 00:11:28,940 - You accept Bitcoin? - Hm? 307 00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:30,817 - Bitcoin. - I accept a bit of bitches. 308 00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:32,902 [laughs] 309 00:11:32,944 --> 00:11:34,654 - Bitch, play an ass right. Stop. 310 00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:37,865 [laughs] I'm just playing, Fran. You look cute. 311 00:11:37,907 --> 00:11:39,409 Hey, hey, hey! 312 00:11:39,450 --> 00:11:41,953 You can't skip a skip in "Uno." Fuck wrong with you? 313 00:11:41,994 --> 00:11:43,538 Also lose your damn mind in the divorce? 314 00:11:44,997 --> 00:11:46,290 - Sam! What's up, dog? 315 00:11:46,332 --> 00:11:47,792 Hey, Chris made it a little section over there 316 00:11:47,834 --> 00:11:48,835 and he won't let me in. 317 00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,002 I know him, but I feel like 318 00:11:50,044 --> 00:11:51,754 you know him, know him, you know? 319 00:11:51,796 --> 00:11:54,298 Think you can get me in? - Okay, that's two shenanigans. 320 00:11:54,340 --> 00:11:56,050 You--you have one left. 321 00:11:56,092 --> 00:11:58,219 - Can I use my last shenanigan to wish for more shenanigans? 322 00:11:58,261 --> 00:11:59,637 - I would count that as your last, 323 00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:01,264 but I got a lot going on. 324 00:12:01,305 --> 00:12:03,516 So I'm gonna need you to get the fuck up outta here. 325 00:12:03,558 --> 00:12:04,934 - Okay. 326 00:12:04,976 --> 00:12:06,352 Hot, hot, hot! - Stop. 327 00:12:08,563 --> 00:12:12,066 - Look at you counting shenanigans like you ain't 328 00:12:12,108 --> 00:12:14,277 the most foul bitch I've ever met in my life. 329 00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:17,321 - Ito? What are you doing here? 330 00:12:17,363 --> 00:12:19,782 - You smoked that scratch ticket weed 331 00:12:19,824 --> 00:12:20,950 and invited me. 332 00:12:20,992 --> 00:12:23,578 - Yo, keep it down. 333 00:12:23,619 --> 00:12:26,622 If this is about how I treated you, I'm sorry. 334 00:12:26,664 --> 00:12:28,249 - Girl, I am good. 335 00:12:28,291 --> 00:12:32,754 But it seems like you're doing your girl just like you did me. 336 00:12:32,795 --> 00:12:34,172 - I was awful to you. 337 00:12:34,213 --> 00:12:37,050 And my bad on all that emotional manipulation. 338 00:12:37,091 --> 00:12:38,676 I didn't know what it was called back then. 339 00:12:38,718 --> 00:12:40,762 At the time I thought it was communication. 340 00:12:40,803 --> 00:12:43,473 - Sam, I forgave you years ago. 341 00:12:43,514 --> 00:12:45,475 - I heard you moved out to some farm 342 00:12:45,516 --> 00:12:48,478 with a white woman? - Olive. She's so nice. 343 00:12:48,519 --> 00:12:52,356 We are making a killing selling radish shavings to Goop. 344 00:12:52,398 --> 00:12:53,691 - Those bitches will buy anything. 345 00:12:53,733 --> 00:12:54,901 - Right? - Yeah. 346 00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,319 - Look at you, though. 347 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,905 You married now, you got this new house. 348 00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:02,700 - It isn't my house, and Nina and I aren't married. 349 00:13:02,742 --> 00:13:04,660 - Well, you got a better job now, right? 350 00:13:04,702 --> 00:13:05,745 - Nah. 351 00:13:05,787 --> 00:13:07,789 Still a cafeteria lady at the casino. 352 00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:08,956 Slapping chili on these hoes. 353 00:13:08,998 --> 00:13:11,793 - [laughs] 354 00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:14,003 Bitch, I knew that already. 355 00:13:14,045 --> 00:13:16,214 I just wanted your ass to repeat it. 356 00:13:16,255 --> 00:13:19,300 Talkin' about you slapping chili with no shame. 357 00:13:19,342 --> 00:13:20,635 - Well, I'm happy. 358 00:13:20,676 --> 00:13:22,053 - Fuck outta here! 359 00:13:22,095 --> 00:13:24,514 You deserve this for treating me like shit. 360 00:13:24,555 --> 00:13:26,849 Now, excuse me. I'm gonna go to my white bitch 361 00:13:26,891 --> 00:13:29,477 and let her eat me out in front of our piglets. 362 00:13:29,519 --> 00:13:30,645 - You think 'cause you a girl burger, 363 00:13:30,686 --> 00:13:32,105 I won't stomp your ass to the ground? 364 00:13:32,146 --> 00:13:36,859 I'm a bitch too, you need to-- - What is up with Friday? 365 00:13:36,901 --> 00:13:38,069 - Friday? 366 00:13:38,111 --> 00:13:39,529 Friday is mad cool. 367 00:13:40,947 --> 00:13:42,949 Hey! Oh, that was--oh. 368 00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:45,326 - He took me surfing. I didn't get in the water, 369 00:13:45,368 --> 00:13:47,537 but I told everybody I was a surfing nigga. 370 00:13:47,578 --> 00:13:50,206 - I finally found a group of intellectual peers 371 00:13:50,248 --> 00:13:52,834 who understand my high-brow sense of humor. 372 00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:55,628 We were over there talking about Black stuff, like, 373 00:13:55,670 --> 00:13:57,171 like, like jazz, 374 00:13:57,213 --> 00:13:59,048 and menthol, and red-lining. 375 00:13:59,090 --> 00:14:02,593 And out of nowhere, he called me an uppity zip coon. 376 00:14:02,635 --> 00:14:04,387 - [laughs] 377 00:14:04,429 --> 00:14:07,557 - I swear to God, if one more person laughs in my face 378 00:14:07,598 --> 00:14:10,601 about what that white devil said to me, 379 00:14:10,643 --> 00:14:11,853 I'ma blow my top. 380 00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:13,688 - I think Friday's Iranian. 381 00:14:13,730 --> 00:14:17,567 - I don't give a damn if the man is Ra's al Ghul. 382 00:14:17,608 --> 00:14:21,571 Fuck Friday. You need to check your boy before I do. 383 00:14:21,612 --> 00:14:24,240 - Don't fuck with Friday. It's not worth it. 384 00:14:24,282 --> 00:14:26,784 Just get up out your light-skinned feelings. 385 00:14:26,826 --> 00:14:33,791 * * 386 00:14:33,833 --> 00:14:35,668 Are you about to cry? 387 00:14:35,710 --> 00:14:37,754 - You think because I'm light-skinned 388 00:14:37,795 --> 00:14:39,047 I can't beat his ass. 389 00:14:39,088 --> 00:14:41,674 - Nobody's saying that. - Mm, nah, you saying 390 00:14:41,716 --> 00:14:44,135 all you think I do is lick my lips, 391 00:14:44,177 --> 00:14:46,429 stick my thumb up my own butt, 392 00:14:46,471 --> 00:14:48,765 and ask when the next Drake album's coming out. 393 00:14:48,806 --> 00:14:50,266 That's what you think of me, huh? 394 00:14:50,308 --> 00:14:51,392 - No. - Let me tell you 395 00:14:51,434 --> 00:14:53,728 something, Sam, I'll beat his ass. 396 00:14:53,770 --> 00:14:56,606 I'll beat his ass on a Friday and everybody'll be like, 397 00:14:56,647 --> 00:14:59,942 "Did you hear Friday got his ass beat on a Friday? 398 00:14:59,984 --> 00:15:01,861 "Oh, he had a terrible weekend 399 00:15:01,903 --> 00:15:05,156 and he missed his fat fuckin' niece's eighth birthday." 400 00:15:05,198 --> 00:15:08,659 - I'm pretty sure Friday's an only child. 401 00:15:11,662 --> 00:15:13,331 - I think I can just leave my toe out. 402 00:15:13,372 --> 00:15:15,666 Yeah, that way I can get more space. 403 00:15:15,708 --> 00:15:17,210 Loop de loop, 404 00:15:17,251 --> 00:15:18,795 bunny ears. 405 00:15:21,756 --> 00:15:23,508 - Now, 406 00:15:23,549 --> 00:15:25,218 this could be a real beautiful moment 407 00:15:25,259 --> 00:15:26,552 where you open up about the person 408 00:15:26,594 --> 00:15:28,471 you've always been inside, 409 00:15:28,513 --> 00:15:29,889 and then you and I could finally 410 00:15:29,931 --> 00:15:33,810 have a real conversation, maybe even form a bond, 411 00:15:33,851 --> 00:15:36,813 but I know it's way, way dumber than that. 412 00:15:36,854 --> 00:15:39,690 - Chris is doing something really cool outside. 413 00:15:39,732 --> 00:15:43,736 And he said, ladies free before three, but no stud shit. 414 00:15:43,778 --> 00:15:45,655 So I tried to go through Sam's stuff, 415 00:15:45,696 --> 00:15:49,033 but all she had was, like, Timbs and black Timbs. 416 00:15:49,075 --> 00:15:52,078 So I put on your shoes, and I feel like they work. 417 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,247 - Yeah, just get out. - Okay. 418 00:15:54,288 --> 00:15:56,457 - Ah, ah, ah, ah. Take my shoes off. 419 00:15:56,499 --> 00:15:57,667 - You want to put on some other ones? 420 00:15:57,708 --> 00:15:59,252 - No, no, no. Just--just go barefoot. 421 00:15:59,293 --> 00:16:02,088 And your toe is hanging-- 422 00:16:02,130 --> 00:16:03,506 - You know I was killing that shit. 423 00:16:03,548 --> 00:16:07,218 - Never. You could never! 424 00:16:09,178 --> 00:16:11,389 - [muttering] 425 00:16:11,431 --> 00:16:13,474 - [laughs] Ooh! 426 00:16:13,516 --> 00:16:16,018 Hey. What wrong with you? 427 00:16:16,060 --> 00:16:17,228 Is Instagram down? 428 00:16:17,270 --> 00:16:19,564 Did they remove filters from your phone? 429 00:16:19,605 --> 00:16:22,024 - No. Just stop, Jak. Not right now. 430 00:16:22,066 --> 00:16:24,694 - Aww, you can't have a little sparkly face 431 00:16:24,736 --> 00:16:27,363 and a little bunny nose in the back of another man's car? 432 00:16:27,405 --> 00:16:29,699 - No, man. Okay, look. 433 00:16:29,741 --> 00:16:32,243 It's that dude Friday over there. 434 00:16:33,244 --> 00:16:35,538 [laughter] 435 00:16:35,580 --> 00:16:38,040 - Hold up, man. - It's my finger. 436 00:16:38,082 --> 00:16:40,918 - I was with Nina's friends, and I was being hilarious 437 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,545 by the way, you would've loved it. 438 00:16:42,587 --> 00:16:44,005 And Friday basically 439 00:16:44,047 --> 00:16:47,383 called me a moulinyan monkey with reading glasses on. 440 00:16:47,425 --> 00:16:48,843 - That's not right. - Right. 441 00:16:48,885 --> 00:16:52,305 Exactly, you get it. - Nah, I see his point. 442 00:16:52,346 --> 00:16:53,389 But you said you were being hilarious? 443 00:16:53,431 --> 00:16:54,682 That's impossible. 444 00:16:54,724 --> 00:16:56,559 Light-skinned people as a race aren't funny. 445 00:16:56,601 --> 00:16:58,227 Sure, you have your outliers like Mike Epps 446 00:16:58,269 --> 00:17:01,856 and Rachel Dolezal, but jokes just don't be hitting 447 00:17:01,898 --> 00:17:04,025 when you got all those freckles on your face. 448 00:17:04,776 --> 00:17:06,360 - All right, man. All right. - [laughs] 449 00:17:06,402 --> 00:17:08,571 Hey. Hey! 450 00:17:08,613 --> 00:17:10,031 - What? - You wanna wrestle? 451 00:17:10,073 --> 00:17:11,115 - No. - Yeah! 452 00:17:11,157 --> 00:17:14,827 - [screaming] - [laughs] 453 00:17:16,287 --> 00:17:23,419 * * 454 00:17:27,548 --> 00:17:28,758 - What is wrong with you? 455 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,426 - Come on, I'm playin'! - Are you sick? 456 00:17:30,468 --> 00:17:33,137 - Okay. - I'll 9/11 your face! 457 00:17:33,179 --> 00:17:35,681 - [laughs] What? 458 00:17:35,723 --> 00:17:38,059 Hey, that was pretty funny. 459 00:17:38,101 --> 00:17:40,353 Hey! I said it was funny. 460 00:17:43,898 --> 00:17:46,609 - [speaking in tongues] Otis Williams Jr. 461 00:17:46,651 --> 00:17:50,238 I need the attention of the sinner before me. 462 00:17:50,279 --> 00:17:51,864 - Jesus Christ, man. What now? 463 00:17:51,906 --> 00:17:55,034 - Uh-uh. Don't you use my nigga's name in vain, 464 00:17:55,076 --> 00:17:56,411 Ms. Corey in the House. 465 00:17:56,452 --> 00:18:00,540 What you need to do is stop this demonic lifestyle 466 00:18:00,581 --> 00:18:02,750 and be good to that woman. 467 00:18:02,792 --> 00:18:06,003 Or you're gon' suffer the consequences. 468 00:18:06,045 --> 00:18:07,046 - What consequences? 469 00:18:07,088 --> 00:18:10,383 - I'm talkin' 'bout, being alone. 470 00:18:10,425 --> 00:18:12,135 Alone, alone. 471 00:18:12,176 --> 00:18:15,054 No girl. No friends. 472 00:18:15,096 --> 00:18:16,973 No streaming services. 473 00:18:17,014 --> 00:18:19,475 Sitting there watching Ari Melber clips 474 00:18:19,517 --> 00:18:20,935 on basic cable. 475 00:18:20,977 --> 00:18:23,354 - But I have everybody's passwords. 476 00:18:23,396 --> 00:18:25,398 - Uh-uh, they gone change 'em. 477 00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:26,649 They don't like yo ass. 478 00:18:26,691 --> 00:18:28,317 You gon' be sitting there in that stink 479 00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:30,069 little studio apartment. 480 00:18:30,111 --> 00:18:32,405 Laptop keys sticky. 481 00:18:32,447 --> 00:18:34,741 Dirty fridge. Fake cabinet. 482 00:18:34,782 --> 00:18:36,909 Eating cereal out the bag 483 00:18:36,951 --> 00:18:39,203 with a yellow ring in your toilet, 484 00:18:39,245 --> 00:18:42,331 looking like Sonic the Hedgehog just took a shit. 485 00:18:42,373 --> 00:18:48,838 Uh-huh. And Nina. Yes, your Nina gon' go back to a man. 486 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,758 She gon' get dicked down by a corny nigga. 487 00:18:51,799 --> 00:18:55,386 Uh-huh. His name gon' be Gerome. 488 00:18:55,428 --> 00:18:58,765 With a G. A capital G. 489 00:18:58,806 --> 00:19:01,350 So where you're sad, it looks like Groan. 490 00:19:01,392 --> 00:19:03,853 Ew, disgusting. Yeah. 491 00:19:03,895 --> 00:19:07,774 And you gon' be by yourself on them dating apps 492 00:19:07,815 --> 00:19:09,776 and you can swipe left. 493 00:19:09,817 --> 00:19:11,986 And you can swipe right. 494 00:19:12,028 --> 00:19:15,907 But you can't swipe back to Nina. 495 00:19:15,948 --> 00:19:17,408 [laughs] 496 00:19:17,450 --> 00:19:19,702 - Nah, fuck that. Fuck-- fuck all y'all burger niggas. 497 00:19:19,744 --> 00:19:21,662 My girl ain't going nowhere. 498 00:19:21,704 --> 00:19:25,291 - Oh, nah, I'm in hell! Oh, fire and brimstone! 499 00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:28,669 I'm sorry I bought a speed boat with the tithe money, Lord. 500 00:19:28,711 --> 00:19:32,131 Ah, ah! Ooh! Eeh! 501 00:19:32,173 --> 00:19:35,927 - This whole Friday thing, man. He's, like, in my head. 502 00:19:35,968 --> 00:19:38,054 - Yeah. Hey, this my boy. He good, bro. 503 00:19:38,096 --> 00:19:40,932 - Don't touch me. - Nah, nah, you the man. 504 00:19:40,973 --> 00:19:42,350 - You letting this motherfucker in? 505 00:19:42,392 --> 00:19:43,684 Are you serious? - Ay, bro. 506 00:19:43,726 --> 00:19:46,354 You gotta chill, playboy. You gotta chill, playboy. 507 00:19:46,396 --> 00:19:48,731 - I'ma go out front and pee on somebody's car. 508 00:19:48,773 --> 00:19:51,442 I'll be back. I'll be back! 509 00:19:51,484 --> 00:19:52,652 - Continue. 510 00:19:52,693 --> 00:19:54,987 - I just didn't think everybody saw me 511 00:19:55,029 --> 00:19:57,907 as some sort of light-skinned stereotype. 512 00:19:57,949 --> 00:20:00,118 - You know what? Believe it or not, 513 00:20:00,159 --> 00:20:02,620 I relate to this so much. 514 00:20:02,662 --> 00:20:04,747 Not too many people know this about me, Langston. 515 00:20:04,789 --> 00:20:09,377 But I too identify as a light-skinneded man. 516 00:20:09,419 --> 00:20:11,337 Yeah. - Can you do that? 517 00:20:11,379 --> 00:20:12,630 - You sure can. 518 00:20:12,672 --> 00:20:14,424 The medical term is Trans-dermal. 519 00:20:14,465 --> 00:20:16,759 I'm a trans dermatologist. 520 00:20:16,801 --> 00:20:18,136 - I don't think so. 521 00:20:18,177 --> 00:20:21,013 - I got a lil bit of ligo. That's my truth. 522 00:20:21,055 --> 00:20:23,766 I'm a Maybach-- Black on the outside, 523 00:20:23,808 --> 00:20:26,310 but you best believe that interior is butterscotch. 524 00:20:26,352 --> 00:20:29,188 - I hate that you're the only person who will listen. 525 00:20:29,230 --> 00:20:31,774 - For too damn long, this has been happening 526 00:20:31,816 --> 00:20:33,359 to our people, Langston. 527 00:20:33,401 --> 00:20:36,738 You and me, the exact same skin type, light-skinneded men. 528 00:20:36,779 --> 00:20:38,156 We should have been looking out for ourselves. 529 00:20:38,197 --> 00:20:39,782 But instead, we tried to look out for all Black people. 530 00:20:39,824 --> 00:20:41,367 That was our mistake. 531 00:20:41,409 --> 00:20:44,996 Jesse Williams, Debra Lee, Shaun King I think, 532 00:20:45,037 --> 00:20:46,330 all of them fell for the trap. 533 00:20:46,372 --> 00:20:48,374 Huh. Shit. 534 00:20:48,416 --> 00:20:49,876 Barack Obama. 535 00:20:49,917 --> 00:20:51,878 Now he is the only one that did it right. 536 00:20:51,919 --> 00:20:56,883 He ain't help out not one nigga. 537 00:20:56,924 --> 00:20:58,843 And that's a good light-skinned man, right there. 538 00:20:58,885 --> 00:21:01,679 - Okay, I can't use most of what you just said, 539 00:21:01,721 --> 00:21:04,140 but I hear you. 540 00:21:04,182 --> 00:21:07,018 There's no comradery in this community. 541 00:21:07,060 --> 00:21:10,605 I gotta stand up for myself. 542 00:21:10,646 --> 00:21:12,440 - Yeah, go fight-- - Come on here-- 543 00:21:12,482 --> 00:21:14,734 - Get your hands off of me, darky! 544 00:21:14,776 --> 00:21:17,695 Do I look like a gallon of Hawaiian Punch to you? 545 00:21:17,737 --> 00:21:19,947 Glug glug, glug. Gorilla. 546 00:21:21,616 --> 00:21:24,368 Well, well, well. 547 00:21:24,410 --> 00:21:29,248 Look who finally decided to wander down Caucus Mountain 548 00:21:29,290 --> 00:21:32,627 and step in the name of colonization. 549 00:21:32,668 --> 00:21:35,338 [laughs] 550 00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:38,299 - You really moped around this party all day to say that? 551 00:21:38,341 --> 00:21:39,300 Yikes, Halsey. 552 00:21:39,342 --> 00:21:42,637 [laughter] 553 00:21:44,472 --> 00:21:48,309 [laughing in slow motion] 554 00:21:53,815 --> 00:21:56,692 [cheesy somber music] 555 00:21:56,734 --> 00:22:03,866 * * 556 00:22:05,493 --> 00:22:07,578 - Ayesha Curry! 557 00:22:07,620 --> 00:22:09,122 [all exclaim] 558 00:22:09,163 --> 00:22:12,667 [screaming] 559 00:22:12,708 --> 00:22:15,211 You're not my friend! I hate you! 560 00:22:15,253 --> 00:22:16,337 Suck it! 561 00:22:16,379 --> 00:22:18,339 Suck it! Suck it! You-- 562 00:22:18,381 --> 00:22:20,133 - What the fuck is wrong with you? 563 00:22:20,174 --> 00:22:23,428 - No, he's a bully! I'm the victim. 564 00:22:23,469 --> 00:22:26,973 I'm Azealia Banks, and you're all "Wild 'N Out." 565 00:22:27,014 --> 00:22:30,017 - Yo, I told you not to fuck with Friday. 566 00:22:30,059 --> 00:22:33,104 He got shot. He almost died. 567 00:22:33,146 --> 00:22:35,314 He wears a doo-doo bag, man. 568 00:22:35,356 --> 00:22:36,816 Fuck! 569 00:22:36,858 --> 00:22:39,277 - Well, that's new information to me! 570 00:22:39,318 --> 00:22:41,195 - Please, move. Yeah, he's shaking right now. 571 00:22:41,237 --> 00:22:43,656 Listen, there is a white man on the ground in my house. 572 00:22:43,698 --> 00:22:44,991 Send everybody. 573 00:22:45,032 --> 00:22:46,367 - So what's up? Y'all hate me? 574 00:22:46,409 --> 00:22:48,161 - Oh, shit, a fight broke out in the club. 575 00:22:48,202 --> 00:22:50,872 Walk me out the back, big man. Big man? 576 00:22:50,913 --> 00:22:52,457 - I think I'm gonna get a plate to go. 577 00:22:54,208 --> 00:22:56,711 - Man, it smells like a dog diaper in this bitch. 578 00:22:56,753 --> 00:22:58,254 - What's going on? - This poo-poo. 579 00:22:58,296 --> 00:23:00,506 - Oh, Lord. - Oh, my God! 580 00:23:00,548 --> 00:23:02,717 - It's on me, too. 581 00:23:24,489 --> 00:23:27,283 Too many dudes in here! 582 00:23:37,335 --> 00:23:39,045 - Sam? 583 00:23:39,087 --> 00:23:40,963 - C'mon. There's too much going on today. 584 00:23:41,005 --> 00:23:42,840 Why can't y'all just be meat? 585 00:23:42,882 --> 00:23:45,676 - Is there something you want to say to me? 586 00:23:45,718 --> 00:23:48,846 - I messed with another bitch. 587 00:23:48,888 --> 00:23:51,182 - Why are you trying to sabotage this? 588 00:23:51,224 --> 00:23:53,226 - I don't know. Why am I talking to meat? 589 00:23:54,727 --> 00:23:56,854 I saw something and I pursued it. 590 00:23:56,896 --> 00:23:58,314 I'm being selfish right now. 591 00:23:58,356 --> 00:24:00,233 - You chose to be in a partnership. 592 00:24:00,274 --> 00:24:01,651 Full-time. 593 00:24:01,692 --> 00:24:03,277 Not just when it suits you. 594 00:24:03,319 --> 00:24:06,114 You can't just choose when you want to be selfish. 595 00:24:06,155 --> 00:24:09,409 - Yeah. That is fucked up. 596 00:24:09,450 --> 00:24:10,410 I'm sorry. 597 00:24:10,451 --> 00:24:11,994 - [mocking] Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. 598 00:24:12,036 --> 00:24:13,913 Don't apologize to me. 599 00:24:13,955 --> 00:24:15,581 I'm Burger Nina. 600 00:24:15,623 --> 00:24:18,209 What you need to do is go tell the real Nina. 601 00:24:18,251 --> 00:24:19,585 - Nope. 602 00:24:19,627 --> 00:24:21,838 Not gon' do that. 603 00:24:22,714 --> 00:24:25,091 - [whistles] 604 00:24:25,133 --> 00:24:26,968 Hey, there, pretty bird. 605 00:24:27,009 --> 00:24:29,595 I still have one more shenanigan left, don't I? 606 00:24:29,637 --> 00:24:31,264 [laughs] 607 00:24:31,305 --> 00:24:33,766 With everything that happened to the pale motherfucker, 608 00:24:33,808 --> 00:24:35,393 I didn't feel like I had space 609 00:24:35,435 --> 00:24:37,103 to do what I need to do. 610 00:24:37,145 --> 00:24:38,771 So I'll hold on to that shenanigan. 611 00:24:38,813 --> 00:24:40,106 Maybe for a week. - Mm. 612 00:24:40,148 --> 00:24:41,107 - A month. - Mm-hmm. 613 00:24:41,149 --> 00:24:42,358 - A year. - Mm-hmm. 614 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:44,485 - A millennium--oh! 615 00:24:46,446 --> 00:24:47,780 - I love you, man. 616 00:24:47,822 --> 00:24:49,615 - Samm-er Jammers. 617 00:24:49,657 --> 00:24:52,118 Samm-er Jammers! 618 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:54,662 - All I'm saying is if Jak's Black ass 619 00:24:54,704 --> 00:24:57,290 asks for the wi-fi, you just give him the wi-fi. 620 00:24:57,331 --> 00:24:59,083 But when I ask for the wi-fi, 621 00:24:59,125 --> 00:25:03,588 you go, "Of course, this motherfucker wants some wi-fi" 622 00:25:03,629 --> 00:25:06,132 These little light-skinned microaggressions, 623 00:25:06,174 --> 00:25:08,301 they just start to chip away at you. 624 00:25:08,342 --> 00:25:10,803 - We don't pick on you 'cause you're light-skinned. 625 00:25:10,845 --> 00:25:12,764 We pick on you because you're Langston. 626 00:25:12,805 --> 00:25:14,474 - Mm-hm. - It just so happens 627 00:25:14,515 --> 00:25:16,184 that you're light-skinned while you're doing it. 628 00:25:16,225 --> 00:25:19,103 - Yeah. Like--like, if Slim Thug came in right now 629 00:25:19,145 --> 00:25:20,855 and said, "I need some honey mustard." 630 00:25:20,897 --> 00:25:21,981 We'd just give him the honey mustard. 631 00:25:22,023 --> 00:25:23,274 - Yeah. - Exactly. 632 00:25:23,316 --> 00:25:25,359 But if I ask for it, you go, 633 00:25:25,401 --> 00:25:30,031 "Oh, her highness wants some mustard with her honey." 634 00:25:30,073 --> 00:25:31,532 That's crazy. 635 00:25:31,574 --> 00:25:33,826 - Yeah, but that's because Slim Thug is 6'6", 636 00:25:33,868 --> 00:25:35,453 and you wear Toms, bro. 637 00:25:35,495 --> 00:25:39,415 - Enough! Enough of this! I say enough! 638 00:25:39,457 --> 00:25:41,000 - Get off my table. - Ah, see, see? 639 00:25:41,042 --> 00:25:43,127 See, that's the oppression I'm talking about. 640 00:25:43,169 --> 00:25:47,548 Me and my yellow-boned brother here are tired 641 00:25:47,590 --> 00:25:50,718 of suffering through all your bigotry. 642 00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:54,347 This beigeail profiling needs to cease at once. 643 00:25:54,389 --> 00:25:57,683 Are light-skinned niggas different than other niggas? 644 00:25:57,725 --> 00:25:59,602 Yes. 645 00:25:59,644 --> 00:26:02,021 Is it okay for you guys to be mean to us? 646 00:26:02,063 --> 00:26:03,689 Sometimes. - Yeah. 647 00:26:03,731 --> 00:26:06,526 - Oh, or the tons of hilarious jokes you could be saying? 648 00:26:06,567 --> 00:26:07,902 Yeah. 649 00:26:07,944 --> 00:26:08,986 But does that make you a good friend 650 00:26:09,028 --> 00:26:10,571 to do those things? 651 00:26:10,613 --> 00:26:12,031 Never. 652 00:26:12,073 --> 00:26:15,118 We are all niggas at the end of the day 653 00:26:15,159 --> 00:26:18,663 with big dicks just swinging in the wind. 654 00:26:19,997 --> 00:26:22,041 - You know what, Chris? You're right. 655 00:26:22,083 --> 00:26:23,876 We haven't been being good friends 656 00:26:23,918 --> 00:26:25,586 and sometimes you have to stop 657 00:26:25,628 --> 00:26:27,338 and acknowledge other people's feelings. 658 00:26:27,380 --> 00:26:29,173 - Yeah. - My bad, Chris. 659 00:26:29,215 --> 00:26:30,383 - Thank you, Sam. - I'm sorry. 660 00:26:30,425 --> 00:26:33,219 - Thank you, sister. - What the fuck? 661 00:26:33,261 --> 00:26:34,846 - I'm sorry, Chris. 662 00:26:34,887 --> 00:26:36,723 This whole day I've been treating you light-skinneded, 663 00:26:36,764 --> 00:26:39,308 when I should have been treating you skinneded. 664 00:26:39,350 --> 00:26:40,226 - Ooh. 665 00:26:40,268 --> 00:26:43,229 - We're all humans, all of us. 666 00:26:43,271 --> 00:26:45,398 With skin. - Yes. 667 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:46,566 - Mm, that's a breakthrough right there. 668 00:26:46,607 --> 00:26:49,068 - I hope I choke on my burger and die. 669 00:26:49,110 --> 00:26:51,070 - Pshh. - You know what, y'all? 670 00:26:51,112 --> 00:26:55,074 Let's just--let's just all hug Langston 671 00:26:55,116 --> 00:26:57,660 like the light-skinned bitch ass nigga he is. 672 00:26:57,702 --> 00:26:59,746 - That's all he asked for! - I don't want this. 673 00:26:59,787 --> 00:27:01,831 I don't want this! 674 00:27:01,873 --> 00:27:04,167 Unhand me, darkies! - A lot of love! 675 00:27:04,208 --> 00:27:07,879 Unhand me, you darkies! 676 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,256 - [vocalizing] 677 00:27:10,298 --> 00:27:11,549 - Yeah. - Thanks, Sam. 678 00:27:11,591 --> 00:27:13,301 That was hella fun, dog. - You need more hos, Sam. 679 00:27:13,342 --> 00:27:15,970 - See you next year! - See y'all. 680 00:27:16,763 --> 00:27:20,516 - Um, I know I'm the wrong person to ask this, 681 00:27:20,558 --> 00:27:22,894 but what actually happened to Friday? 682 00:27:22,935 --> 00:27:24,937 - It's really messed up. 683 00:27:24,979 --> 00:27:26,981 He caught a stray. 684 00:27:30,318 --> 00:27:32,945 - What's up, fool? What's up, fool? 685 00:27:32,987 --> 00:27:34,280 [gunshot] - Ahh! 686 00:27:34,322 --> 00:27:37,658 Nigga, damn! [groans] 687 00:27:37,700 --> 00:27:44,665 * *